qm2

this is my apology and my explanation for deleting all my runs.
i didnt delete them because i was tilted about getting bopped or anything like that. i did it to force myself to stop playing this. i didnt think it would be bad but it was, it had resulted in something i didnt expect and im sorry about that.
in the last few weeks ive started to feel much worse about my ability to get good times and to compare against top level runners. mostly in ils and individual sections, and mostly zkad. no matter what i did, what times i got or what times i thought were good it just seemed like theres just no way for me to get to their level. everything i did got beaten most of the time by a lot (things like 7b segments, individual rooms etc), and i was never able to come even close to the times that beat me no matter how much i tried. and same for my il runs. i consider myself good enough for at least top 3 in most ils and have a couple of second places on some ils. but non of them are even close to first. even my 1a il which is probably my best achievement in this game, and to which i poured 2 months of constant grinding and that broke me up so badly at one point i couldnt even force myself to play the game. its not even close to first, almost 2s away.
and with qm2 it was just so much worse. maybe because i didnt have anything to compare to, and there isnt really a way to value a run unless its the first place which causes differences in time just look much more bad then they should be.
and whatever it was i just couldnt handle it anymore and decided to force myself to stop playing it, and the only way i could think would work was to just delete everything.
it was a dumb decision that i made when i was feeling bad and couldnt think clearly. it all happened because i cant handle stuff and im sorry. im going to try my best to fix it.
i was made aware of it by ambers tweet about the community and sent her a similar apology