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Military claims about Finno-Korean hyperwar

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Aug 19th, 2016
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  1. Military claims of the Finno-Korean Hyperwar
  3. Key word is “claims”. I don’t know the truth at all.
  5. Thread 651698 (
  6. • The Hyperwar destroyed more scientific advancement, culture and civilization than the Mongol destruction of Baghdad and the Qin burning of books and scholars.
  7. • “Pecka Suutan” delivered a speech before invading India
  8. • Autism is a legacy of the war
  9. • The war was so intense it destroyed most of the evidence
  10. • There was a Korean invasion of Finnish Sri Lanka in the 30th Century BCEDADE over oil.
  11. • Angli Saxii fought in the Battle for Britanii
  12. • The Hwan Empire destroyed the dams of the Ganges in an attempt to stop the Finnic Order, possibly contributing to flood myths.
  13. • Atlanteans shot Lemurian citizens for sport with rayguns while mounted on domesticated wooly mammoths.
  14. o Contradiction: Rayguns were only invented after the onset of the war
  15. o Hwan Air Fortresses bombed Finnish Lemmuurijan settlements
  16. • Combat units named: Finnic Grandee, Jutenhaivens, Korean Thunder Cavalry
  17. • Hwan psychological warfare destroyed humans’ ability to feel the emotions of “cromulence, egui, keh, or any of the other 14 emotions that humans were able to experience before the Hwans nerve-stapled everyone”
  18. o Urlu is one of those emotions
  19. • There are allegations that “An empire that valued freedom and independence and individuality could never co-exist with one based on the primacy of society”
  20. • Autism spectrum disorder was weaponized during the final Finnish advance on Pyongyang
  21. • Military unit: Finnic-Jedi Knight Order. Korean Proto-ninjoids. Korean mammoth-rider
  22. • Laser poles were used by Korean mammoth riders.
  23. • There was a battle in Indhiamraja
  24. • Psychokinetic combat is dependent on meta-strreumonic force.
  25. o The Hwan stapled themselves from this force, the Finns did not.
  26. • Combat unit: Finnic Psychic Crusaders
  27. • The Vedic Nuclear War is a retelling of the Finno-Korean Hyperwar
  28. • Hwan was depedent on conquest
  29. • Hwans used spears underhand
  30. • War: Greco-Armenian Genocidal Crusade
  31. • Hwan combat unit: Proto-ninjas
  32. • Pyramids were superweapons that devolved the minds of every sentient creature on Earth.
  33. • “Gib Sum-Suq was their most famous general, she was revered among her followers, not to mention her personal guard of female virgin warriors, I would say with this in mind, they treated women pretty well for the time, certainly better than the patriarchal societies they were fighting against.”
  34. • “There are theories of Jedi using Space Mammoths to combat Hwan Space Type Genegolems fo control of the Lagnrange points to set up theit orbital lasers and stop Hwan from setting up their own during the height of the war.”
  35. • Hwan combat unit: Mammoth mounted combat artillery.
  36. • Finnic Jedi made a final stand during the Fall of Iistanbullii
  37. • Hwan weapon: Orgone cannons
  38. • Military campaign: Orbital Campaign
  39. • Finnic weapon: Uebertank
  40. Thread 654751 (
  41. • The Finns won the Hyperwar
  42. • The Hwans obliterated the Finns with weaponized Autism
  43. • Finns used horse archers
  44. • Finns used pyramid superweapons
  45. • Pyramids were Hwan weapons
  46. • Hwan invaded Finnish India and destroyed dams
  47. • Cain and Abel is an allegory of the war
  48. • Battle: General Tabulli Svegvre (Finn?) won the Battle of Hurakhin Crossing
  49. • “Koskenkorva” and Olvi 3 beer were vital to the Finnish effort
  50. • Hyper-Korean war was ideological in nature
  51. • Emus invaded Japan (a Korean territory) successfully
  52. • Hwan have an objectively better war record
  53. • “The war started when the Hwan invaded Finnish Lemuria. In the later parts of the war when Lemuria was about to be retaken, the Hwan opened all of their dams and flooded the entire continent with the modern Indian subcontinent being the only non flooded area. The sinking of Lemuria inspired the tales of the Great Flood and also Atlantis.”
  54. • Memes were weaponized
  56. • Hwan protoninjas were more trained then Finnic Jedi, according to Hwan sources
  58. • Memes devasted the Hwan but also backfired on the Finns.
  59. • “No, dude, autism was invented by the Hwan as a superweapon when the Finns were just outside of Pyongyang”
  60. • List of Battles: Battle of Pyongyang, Battle of the Urals, Battle of Tibet, Lagrange Point 1 Blitz, Battle for Lemuria, Siege of Listandbuli
  61. • Weaponized pyramid
  62. • Supposed general account:
  63. >Finn empire starts expanding eastwards after establishing a solid base in Europe
  64. >Hwan empire explodes onto world stage and conquers most of Asia in a few decades
  65. >Initial contact is friendly, but as both sides see each other as threats relations quickly turn sour
  66. >Within just a few years of contact, tensions build up enough that a minor incident in modern-day Uzbekistan leads to both sides declaring war
  67. >Hwan empire initially makes gains and pushes as far west as modern-day Estonia, but the more cohesive nature of the Finns allows them to recuperate and push back
  68. >Make slow but steady gains against the Hwan, eventually leading to the gates of Pyongyang itself
  69. >Both sides throw everything they have into the final encounter, with the Finns forced to activate their pyramids and the Koreans unleashing autism
  70. >Result is a pyrrhic victory for the Koreans, but both sides put so much resources into this battle that they effectively can't recover afterwards and both empires disintegrate
  72. Is there anything I'm getting wrong?
  74. “The tower of Babel was a weapon of the Ancient Finnish Empire which was subjected to a Blitz attack by the Hwan during the closing actions of the Finno-Korean Hyper War.
  76. The weapon - meant to generate fields of autism in a certain area- leaked and generated fields of autism within a thousand kilometer radius, resulting to the combatants becoming terribly asocial and the birth of new languages”
  78. • “It's interesting looking at pre-historic hyper-meme-propaganda pieces. To think that the Hwans were able to turn the tide of public opinion in the Lemurian colonies relying solely on memes is amazing, doubly so considering the Hwans were simultaneously committing heinous war crimes against the very people they were winning over.”
  80. • Atlantis was supposedly neutral, but there was a hidden Finnic Jedi Training facility
  81. • “It's hard to say. After the neuralyzers were activated at the end of the war humanity was brain wiped and descended into a shit flinging autism induced dark age
  82. • Helsinki 10000BC and Pyongyang 10000BC were the greatest cities of their time
  83. • “Aliens helped the hwan. Earth was a proxy war ”
  84. • “Abbos were actually a major naval power before the Emus killed most of them. Australia used to be covered in forest, but most of it was chopped down to make ships.”
  85. • Weapon: Giza Mass Autism array
  86. • The Hwans allegedly downlifted the Emu Federation
  87. • “It raged for half a century, until the fateful Battle of Shatpost, in which the republicans defeated the imperialists. The First Grand Emu, dying, ordered a wounded soldier to flee and unleash a hyperweapon of autism they had stolen from the Hwan on the republicans. Thus, the Emus collapsed.”
  89. • “[No one talks about the USA] Because the First USA nearly got BTFO by the Polynesianoid Hawaiian Mercantile state and its massive navy before the Ancient Finns came and destroyed the Hawaiians in exchange for the First USA joining the hyper war.
  91. Basically the First USA was a weak, irrelevant backwater while Hawaii was like a hyper ancient Venice with its massive fleet and its trade routes that basically made it like Switzerland in its neutrality, until the Finns had to come and fuck it up.”
  93. • Ancient Hawaii had around 29 dreadnoughts and was one of the strongest naval powers in the period
  95. • Denmark was founded by Finnic partisans during the Eighteenth Finno-Korean Hyper War
  97. • Vikings were actually cargo cults based off Ancient Finns; “Fellow /his/torians, I was wondering if there is any evidence to support the idea that the later berserker classes of Scandinavia had their ancient cultural origins in the skilled axe-men employed by the Finnish Empire in their campaign against the Hwan in the Urals.
  99. There are a lot of correlations, including:
  100. - heavy use of the axe
  101. - wearing of animal skins
  102. - wild whooping and yelling (proto-autism?)
  103. - ingestion of an anti-autism drug”
  105. • the hwans kidnapped a finn princess. this was the inspiration for homer's illiad (which was not an actual historical event).
  107. i forget her name though
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