When you say "maybe you didn't really care, it wasn't important" how else is that supposed to be taken
even saying that is like implying that all the time I've spent getting all your software and tutorials and shit is nothing
because I said that when your maya wasn't crashing, did you even read what I said before that? I gave you suggestions and tried to help
if I didn't care about your maya crashing why in the fuck would I even bother trying to find a solution, that is a fucking stupid thing to say

Again, why in the hell would it mean that when the very action of me helping you shows that I do care that its effecting you
what you're telling me makes absolutely no sense, it's damn obvious that what I said was not because of the problem but because of
how you're acting, and nothing else, its not a small problem to me, it's a big problem to me because I know a week worth of work
is devastating for you to lose, which had you read, you say you do but time and time again you prove to me you don't with what you get from it
ksg - Today at 3:51 PM
I would have lost at least a week of work
Sai - Today at 3:51 PM
then thats not an option
ksg - Today at 3:51 PM
yes it is still doing the same
Sai - Today at 3:51 PM
is it essentially unusable
how it is now
no Im saying you dont have a week to waste
doing all that over again

Why would I say that if it wasn't a problem I'm taking very seriously? A week's worth of work to the trash was a huge
problem which is why, I downloaded Maya 2016 in hopes that would help, why I looked up on forums if it would help
so yeah, if I say "whatever dude" its pretty damn obvious I'm not saying that because I dont give a shit if it was fixed or not
And you know dude, if I didn't give a shit do you think I would still even be thinking about you even when Im angry
still trying to help you and try to make sure everything is fine for you because I know how important for your LIFE it is
that you complete this, if I didn't know this why in the fuck would I have done everything up to this point
don't insult my intelligence, I know damn well how life changing this is if you complete this or not

You know what, I'm going to give you that, that day you did identify it, I was surprised honestly
which is why I told you what the actual problem was because I respected you actually noticed and are trying to
What did I get from that? "Ok" thats your reply? I go from being happy you are making an attempt to being
disappointed that maybe I was wrong, even then, I still tried to let it go when I came back because you apologized again
when I came back from work, you have no idea how much I try to let pass because I'm trying to be patient with you
because I know you're trying, you have so much other things to deal with and focus on, but I have my limits,
the night you told me that I told you I wasnt happy with you but that I was going to accept the apology, and
then the next fucking night you do the same exact thing as if you learned absolutely nothing and were not sorry
at all with what you did, which is why I said, I should just go before I start to get annoyed, thats what I said


Even this, I am constantly worrying about you, I'm always asking if you're okay, if your hand is bothering you,
that you should eat, drink water, reminding you of the time that you should sleep, etc I know damn well all
of this is effecting you physically as well, and I understand that, but from what I explained earlier,
yeah you probably are trying but is it going to look to me that way if the result is still the same?
You say sorry and apologize, but continue to do it. Is that showing that a person is sorry? Or are they saying
it so that the person won't be mad at them anymore?

Believe me, it does make me happy if you do actually feel that way, but I said this before you don't need to give
up that much to me to show me you appreciate my help, I don't ask that much from anyone, all I want is some kind of
recognition that I have actually helped and they appreciate it, and obviously how someone acts clearly shows that

Yeah, I know that you did identify it and brought it up, and you apologized correct, what you replied after that
obviously was in question but I ignored it, I didn't pay it much mind, and yeah it happened again, but think about
why it happened again, I gave you an explanation, your response to that was "ok" did you read it and take it to heart?
if you had maybe it wouldn't have happened again I feel, but you did it again the DAY after, you did not apologize for that the day
of because I left, I said I'm just going to go before I start to get annoyed, trust me kusugu I've been trying
very much to be patient with you, I know you told me you were going to try, you were going to do your best
and I tried to be even more patient than usual and let it go, and when you apologize you're saying it like
it's my fault that it happened, I already told you its not about whos right or not, its not about the
disagreement or anything like that, theres a difference when we see things different and when you keep undermining
and saying everything contrary to what I'm talking about, like I mean I get it, I'm saying what I think it is
or what I've learned it is, I'm not all knowing all seeing and neither are you

its like with the music thing I said all I said was that I have trouble keeping up with albums, You say keep a list, I say that
from personal experience that I have DONE it before that it doesnt really work, that it's too much to keep track of, and you kept
pushing it that I was doing it wrong or that I was wrong that a I need to keep a list, I was just mentioning it,
its not like it annoys me or angers me that it happens yet you turned it into a much bigger thing, yeah thats why
I started to back up and not say as much, then it was about the mouse thing, you're trying to tell me that if your use your whole
arm you can avoid wrist damage completely, dude, you should know better than I do that its impossible to remove
wrist strain completely, even if you have your position, a ergonomic mouse, whatever you always need to use your wrist
to use the mouse, you always need to put some kind of strain on your arm, shoulder, wrist because thats the fuction in your body
that needs to happen to make it move, you can lessen it yes, but its impossible to avoid it completely, the dumbest thing
about this is the only reason we were talking about this was because we were talking about how badly your wrist was hurting you
and we were trying to figure out a way to lessen the pain for you, at least thats what I was thinking of, I talked about your posture in your
chair doing this to you, and that it could help, and then you mention how its not unavoidable that its all about position or something like that,
dude I am not trying to argue with you about how using your whole arm removes the strain from your wrist for gamers and all that
and we had seen that all of them eventually gets some kind of injury or problems, that some kind of wrist problem is unavoidable
if you play video games or work on a computer all the time, which is why we have so many ways to try to prevent as much damage as possible
it's like saying a fighter who is constantly using his hands and arms for punching can avoid injuries and straining his bones and muscles
thats impossible, because theres also time, age and degradation of our bodies that also effect it, there is ways to lessen it but not completely eliminate it
of course, I didn't say all this because I already felt you were in some kind of mood to try to just be contrary, you left to eat and ask if I was mad
and said sorry if you had said something that you shouldnt have, I wasn't mad, my demeanor had changed as you had said because
I was saying less myself so that there would be no conflict, I kept saying "well I don't know, I guess you're right" because
why am I going to start an argument over something like that dude, it's fucking dumb, I don't like arguing with you I don't want
to be mad, disappointed, sad or whatever with you, so why would I purposely go out of my way to start something?

You say you tried to be more calm, but when you start replying formally like you're sending a letter or some shit it does not come off as well dude
because I know thats not how you talk or how you type, it's like you're trying to step on eggshells or something like I'm overreacting or I'm the one being
an asshole, which further irritates when, yeah I am still trying to help you and I do care a damn lot about you graduating and finishing your project. I don't
really appreciate the way you're putting it saying I just come out with "You never appreciate me" like I'm being a whiny bitch, that's not what I'm saying
I'm telling you the truth about what I feel, and what I'm seeing especially with your actions building up prior to that moment, so you can say
I blew up, and I told you everything I felt I needed to tell you. I explained to you very well, what I said was not because of that situation in general, it was
me being fed up with the way you were responding and talking to me and acting as whole, or at least the way it was coming off to me.
So yeah, this was not caused from just that but a series of events where I was trying very hard to be patient with you, because
I trust you when you told me you really wanted to try the last time you and me had an argument and that you were going to try
to change your attitude and try to show better treatment I guess? Don't you think that when it seems to me that I am putting in all the effort
to try to trust that you will try to correct your less or reflect on what you said or did that when you apologize you really mean it
and that you will try to correct it and change it, when your response to my explanation of how I felt was followed up with an "ok"
and just the apology without a clear understanding for why you were saying sorry, and then you continue to do it,
I got fed up, I I lost it and I told you that now you were legit starting to get me angry when instead of actually really
trying to recognize and solve the problem you just run away and decide "bye" this is what I mean by that you don't try,
it just always gives off the impression to me that the person does not want to deal with the problem or it isn't important
enough to deal with, especially when I don't run away from my problems or from when you need help from me, so why
do you think doing it to me is a good idea? You don't communicate with me you just run away or just say "ok" "I get it"
and clearly it never really gets through because it happens again and again, and yeah, I mean I get pissed or angry or upset
whatever you want to call it and you wait for me to get to this point to actually start talking it out with me and acknowleding it
why? Do you need me to be at the point of absolutely being completely and utterly tired of all of this shit for you to decide its finally worth it
to talk about it? Its frustrating to be putting in much more effort and to see you not even try to put in a fraction of that
when I am trying to be patient and explain things to you, to not get any kind of actual response or feedback, I felt like telling you
"Thanks for the amazing feedback kusugu, you fill me with such confidence that you get what I just told you" when you just replied like that to me
but all I said was "kek, alright man I gotta go, later", you know that image you send me after all this, makes no sense to me if you
sent that relating to this because for one, it would make sense that had you actually tried to communcicate with me and open up
this wouldn't be happening in the first place, your one word responses and rushed responses, lack of assurance or confidence
in resolving issues or conflicts is why we are right here in the first place, if anything I'm the one being open with you and telling
you what I feel and I get punched in the face with a response that isn't even like a 1/5th of what I just typed.
I said I was done, I was tired as hell of all of this building up and you not showing me that you actually
wanted to resolve this issue and move past it, at least not the right way, so yeah I was more disappointed with you before
I actually got mad. And all I did by the end of it was essentially let out all of my frustration and telling you
exactly what the problem is with the way you worded that last statement before it.

As far as your deadline, if you feel like you need to stay away and do a trip like thing to finish everything do whatever
it is you need to do, I don't need to mention this but if you need something for your project you can come back and ask if
you need it, I have no problem getting it for you if I can, I don't think I need to say it but I wish you luck and
know you can do it, I have absolute faith in you and your ability and know you will complete this on time and with time to spare
even with all this I want you to know I do care about you and I want you to get this done, and know you will get this done,
don't listen to whatever your parents are telling you or let the bumps along the way hinder you, you got this, keep your focus
believe in yourself, and I know you'll get this done, this is a completely different as I said don't base what will happen
on what happened the last time, you have a completely different mentality, different set of tools, and you will have gotten
there with you own hard work and your own hands, you got out of the hole when you failed, you did what had to be done and
now you are on the verge of finishing something that didn't even seem possible a few months ago, or last year, regardless of
what is going on here you have made lots of improvements and have changed your worth ethic and your focus when it comes to your
work which I applaud you and you should be proud of. Just keep reminding yourself that you will get this done, and that it will
be great because you worked on it, you've come a long way to get here, and you're so close, all you have to do is reach out and
take it. Don't worry about the money, we'll figure all that out once this is all done and over with, don't feel rushed like
you have to get it back to me immediately and right after having finished everything, relax. I'm not leaving you or going anywhere.
I said I was done, but that was an expression of being done with talking with you, at that moment, and dealing with any of that
shit any more, I was finished. I went off on my own for awhile and really get around to finishing this around, 10 or so is the time
right now, obviously I wasn't planning on sending this to you today because you've had enough of this already, that you typed
all of this up and decided this was too much emotional stress, which I understand, and I do apologize for this happening
with you having 8 days left for you to turn in your project, I usually try to let out my frustration prior to
talking to you about these things, but I at that point had enough and said it all at that moment.

There, I think that about covers it, you don't have to read this now, whenever it is when I send it, or reply to it
right after, if anything I suggest you don't right now until you have everything settled, although it would mean more to me
if you did put some input on it at some point, I did spent a lot of time writing this, and a lot of the issues we have had
is because your lack of communication, it would show me a lot if you did. Whenever it is that you decide to come back, I'm going to be there, so you don't have to worry about that.