If you ran like your mouth, you'd be in good shape.;
I don't hate you, I'm just simply not excited about your existence.;
Whoever told you to be yourself gave you really bad advice.;
You’re the reason God created the middle finger.;
You bring everyone so much joy when you leave the room.;
Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.;
Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons?;
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.;
I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.;
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.;
I thought of you today. It reminded me to take out the trash.;
I love what you’ve done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that?;
Please just tell me you don’t plan to home-school your kids.;
You are more disappointing than an unsalted pretzel.;
Your face makes onions cry.;
You’re not stupid! You just have bad luck when you’re thinking.;
Have a nice day, somewhere else.;
If I threw a stick, you’d leave, right?;
Somewhere out there, there's a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you should go and apologize to it.;
I’ve seen people like you before, but I had to pay admission.;
I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed.;
People like you are the reason I’m on medication.;
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.;
You’re my favorite person... besides every other person I’ve ever met.;
If you were an inanimate object, you’d be a participation trophy.;
People like you are the reason God doesn’t talk to us anymore.;