Pandathing

<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20-2
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20-2 [ 1d20=13 ]{11}
<unconsciouslyExistential> oh hey sorry
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=18 ]{20}
<Mathmatt878> You go first.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Warren, wasting no time with the swift dispatching of this creature, charges forward, aiming swipes at the creature with both scissors.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 2#1d20+2 to-hit
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 2#1d20+2 to-hit [ 1d20=17 ]{19}, [ 1d20=14 ]{16}
<Mathmatt878> Both hit
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d4+2
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 14
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d4+2 [ 1d4=4 ]{6}
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 14 {14}
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d4
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d4 [ 1d4=1 ]{1}
<Mathmatt878> ...
<Mathmatt878> It's dead.
<unconsciouslyExistential> 7 damage :D
<unconsciouslyExistential> Wait, really?
<Mathmatt878> yep
<Mathmatt878> exactly 7 healt
<unconsciouslyExistential> That was significantly easier than i expected it to be.
<Mathmatt878> h
<Mathmatt878> ik
<Mathmatt878> i expected him to get a turn
<unconsciouslyExistential> It seems he did not
<Mathmatt878> can i just say he has one more health, so that he can actually accomplish something?
<Tyron_Williams> ((SO HE COULD TRANSFORM AND ROLL OUT))
<Mathmatt878> or at least try to?
<Tyron_Williams> ((AUTOBOTS GEAR UP))
<unconsciouslyExistential> if you want
<Mathmatt878> (THIS IS A PAUL BLART IMP)
<Mathmatt878> The imp turns his segway into overdrive, and charges at you.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20-1
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=7 ]{6}
<Mathmatt878> He rides right past you.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I sidestep the segway, staring at the creature.
<Mathmatt878> Your turn
<unconsciouslyExistential> I...
<unconsciouslyExistential> I wonder how the hell the thing is not dead yet, but attack it once more nonetheless.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 2#1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 2#1d20+2 [ 1d20=4 ]{6}, [ 1d20=4 ]{6}
<unconsciouslyExistential> i
<unconsciouslyExistential> c
<unconsciouslyExistential> r
<unconsciouslyExistential> y
<Mathmatt878> The imp survives because it is Paul Blart incarnate.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20-1
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20-1 [ 1d20=1 ]{0}
<Mathmatt878> The imp drives off the edge.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to catch the imp
<Mathmatt878> Roll dex
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled dex error: malformed expression
<unconsciouslyExistential> Because I'll be damned if I'm missing out on the goodies for killing my first enemy
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=18 ]{20}
<Mathmatt878> You catch the creature
<unconsciouslyExistential> Can I like
<unconsciouslyExistential> Just stab it, considering it's probably kind of helpless right now
<Mathmatt878> Yep
<Mathmatt878> Coup de grace, auto crit
* Tyron_Williams has quit (Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I stab my scissor into it's face, dragging it through the carapace and carving a grisly smile into it's head.
<Mathmatt878> You attempt to do so, but the second the scissors enter the creature's face, it explodes into...
<Mathmatt878> Fruit gushers?
<unconsciouslyExistential> I am dissapointed in both the lack of blood and the lack of an expertly carved glasgow smile to revel in. Oh well.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to pick up the gushers and eat them to regain my lost happiness.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d10+10
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d10+10 [ 1d10=5 ]{15}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d2
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d2 [ 1d2=1 ]{1}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=17 ]{17}
<Mathmatt878> You receive fifteen fruit gushers, which instantly disappear as you collect them.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Oh.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I make a mental note to find some fruit gushers back in my hive.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to confront the panda-creature.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I inform the panda creature that I was just deprived of the satisfaction of carving a bloody smile into one of my opponents, and that they would do well for themselves not to tick me off.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2 to intimidate
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 to intimidate [ 1d20=17 ]{19}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20 insight
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 insight [ 1d20=13 ]{13}
<Mathmatt878> The panda was already afraid, so you don't really change anything.
<Mathmatt878> "Please," he begs, "let me be here alone, in peace."
<Mathmatt878> "I don't want any visitors!"
<Mathmatt878> "None of us do!"
<Mathmatt878> (brb afk)
<unconsciouslyExistential> "There are more of you?" I ask.
* Mathmatt878 has quit (Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client)
* Mathmatt878 (Mathmatt87@d162-156-183-241.bchsia.telus.net) has joined
* ChanServ gives channel operator status to Mathmatt878
<Mathmatt878> (ok sorry)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (isk)
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( is k )
<Mathmatt878> "Y-yes. Er, no."
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( roll for deception...? )
<Mathmatt878> (You can tell he
<Mathmatt878> 's lying)
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( inb4 roll 1d20-19, crit.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20-19
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20-19 [ 1d20=5 ]{-14}
<unconsciouslyExistential> "I would rather you not lie to me, as my earlier warning still stands." He holds one of his scissors in the Panda's face
<Mathmatt878> "I just want what's best for all of us, please just let us be alone, like we want."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Hmm." He seemed to be contemplative for a moment.
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Maybe if you'd volunteer some information that I could use, I'd be inclined to leave you alone, as you ask."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "And... If not..." He looked down at his scissors with a wicked grin. "I can always ask the others."
<Mathmatt878> "We're-We're all the same, we like being alone, please just let us be."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "I've made my offer."
<Mathmatt878> "Why? Why do you hate us?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> He shrugged. "It's not that I hate you. It's just that I'm kind of miffed that I've been dropped in this place without any explanation, assistance, or otherwise. Well... Maybe that's not totally true."
<unconsciouslyExistential> He leaned forward. "If I'm being honest, I'm a little excited. A reprieve from the boring time stranded in the middle of the desert? Sign me up. I just need to know where to go from here."
<Mathmatt878> "Well, why would we know? We live separate from each other!"
<Mathmatt878> "How did you even get here?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Something to do with a game, a crystal, y'know, the usual esoteric plot device these games tend to use."
<Mathmatt878> "I don't..."
<Mathmatt878> "I have no idea what you're talking about!"
<Mathmatt878> "Please, just let me be alone!"
<unconsciouslyExistential> Warren sighs. "Well. I didn't want to do this, but you've forced my hand." Warren swipes at the panda.
<Mathmatt878> (roll for hit)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=16 ]{18}
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d4+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d4+2 [ 1d4=3 ]{5}
<Mathmatt878> You cut a deep gash into the panda, who immediately begins screaming.
<Mathmatt878> "HELP! MURDERER!"
<Mathmatt878> "SAVE YOURSELVES!"
<unconsciouslyExistential> Warren can't help but smirk. "Murderer? Tell me something I don't know."
<Mathmatt878> "THAT YOU'LL NEVER SUCCEED WITHOUT US, I KNOW THAT MUCH!"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Of course I won't. But I'm not going to succeed with you either, while you're sitting here cowering and telling me to leave you alone."
<Mathmatt878> "PLEASE, JUST LEAVE ME, GO BACK HOME, THIS IS WHY WE NAMED THIS LAND LOPAS"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "LOPAS doesn't sound like much of a name. I presume it's a code for something?" He said nonchalantly.
<Mathmatt878> "I MIGHT TELL YOU IF YOU WEREN'T TRYING TO KILL ME!"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "I wasn't trying to kill you earlier, in fact, I actually just saved you from that monster earlier."
<Mathmatt878> "I WOULD HAVE HAD A BETTER CHANCE WITH THAT!"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "It's not my fault that you're being unco-operative, and forced me to resort to drastic measures."
<Mathmatt878> "IT'S NOT BEING UNCOOPERATIVE IF I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!"
<unconsciouslyExistential> I begin to tire of this dialogue, and attempt to use my psionics to mind-control the panda into giving me the information I want.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+1+2+1
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+1+2+1 [ 1d20=2 ]{6}
<Mathmatt878> You fail.
<Mathmatt878> The panda continues to cower.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to persuade the panda to stop cowering.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=19 ]{21}
<unconsciouslyExistential> there-we-go.jpeg
<Mathmatt878> The panda stops cowering.
<Mathmatt878> "Ok, I don't understand what you're trying to do, but please."
<Mathmatt878> "I just want to be left alone."
<Mathmatt878> "That's all everyone here wants."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Well, if you can't tell me anything useful, could you at least tell me, aside from 'LOPAS' what this place is called?"
<Mathmatt878> "Wait, you don't know?"
<Mathmatt878> "Then..."
<Mathmatt878> "How did you get here?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Like I said. I stared into an odd crystal."
<Mathmatt878> "I-I don't understand."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Can't say I do either."
<Mathmatt878> "Well, we call it Land of Pandas and Segregation."
<Mathmatt878> Because there's nothing else here.
<Mathmatt878> "Just us in our respective homes."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Hm."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Anything else you can tell me?"
<Mathmatt878> "Not much, how much don't you know?"
<Mathmatt878> "Because if you don't know what this place is called, I have no idea what you know and what you don't."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "I can say with absolute confidence that anything you can tell me about this land will be new information to me."
<Mathmatt878> "Well, there used to be bridges connecting all the platforms."
<Mathmatt878> "We all used to live together."
<Mathmatt878> "But then, the dark portal began to consume everything, and the bridges were dragged down into the portal."
<Mathmatt878> "From then on, we've all lived alone."
<Mathmatt878> "We thought we were going to die too, but then the Sun appeared and saved us."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "I'm guessing the dark portal is that black vortex outside."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Not sure what you mean by Sun though."
<Mathmatt878> "The Sun appeared the same day the dark portal began to ingest everything, and it flew down into it, leaving us in eternal darkness, but safe."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Interesting."
<Mathmatt878> "Yes, that's the portal."
<Mathmatt878> "Please, can you leave me alone now?"
<Mathmatt878> "None of us are comfortable around other people."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "I suppose I may as well take my leave, not much fun to be had in mindlessly intimidating little panda people. Seeya." He said, putting his scissors back into his specibus, and leaving the house.
<Mathmatt878> "Th-Thank you."
<Mathmatt878> Outside, you see the same black portal you came from, and another, white portal.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Warren offers no further reply.
<unconsciouslyExistential> He takes the white portal once more.
<Mathmatt878> You do so, and in another round of excruciating pain, you arrive at what you assume is another platform with another bamboo house.
* `DICE has quit ()
* `DICE (~RayGold@pool-98-113-252-119.nycmny.fios.verizon.net) has joined
<Mathmatt878> Looking around, you see that the island you were just on is between you and your hive, you appear to be travelling in a straight line.
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Oh lovely. I wonder what segway creature I will have to face off against next on this line of pandas."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I continue the routine, and enter the house.
<Mathmatt878> "WHOA, INTRUDER!"
<Mathmatt878> A relatively beefy panda runs up to you, wielding a hammer."
<Mathmatt878> "WHAT DO YOU WANT?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> I ask him where the nearest segway creature is.
<Mathmatt878> "I don't know what you're talking about, but I demand that you leave my abode right now, I am busy at work!"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "What are you working on?"
<Mathmatt878> "None of your business."
<Mathmatt878> "Leave. Now."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to persuade him into allowing me to stay.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=7 ]{9}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20 to resist
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 to resist [ 1d20=17 ]{17}
<Mathmatt878> No.
<unconsciouslyExistential> oh.
<Mathmatt878> "Get. Out. Now."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I stand my ground. But decaptchalogue my weapons in anticipation.
<Mathmatt878> "Oh, of course."
<Mathmatt878> "See, this is why none of us like visitors!"
* Thingymabob (Thingymabo@CPE-120-145-7-6.lnse2.wel.bigpond.net.au) has joined
<unconsciouslyExistential> "What are you talking about?" I feign ignorance.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Perks of using weapons that don't actually look like weapons.
<Mathmatt878> "I have no desire for violence. But I also have no desire for visitors."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "They're just scissors. Perhaps I could use them to assist you in your work."
<Mathmatt878> "No."
<Mathmatt878> "I am working on these alone."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "These? There are two of them?
<Mathmatt878> "More."
<Mathmatt878> "But you don't need to know."
<Mathmatt878> "So, I make one more formal request for you to leave."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Oh, panda sir, but I must know."
<Mathmatt878> "No. You don't."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "But I'm afraid I do."
<Mathmatt878> "Well, then that's too bad."
<Mathmatt878> "Leave my home."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Say, is this house made of... Bamboo?"
<Mathmatt878> "None of your business."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I leave the house.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I look through my sylladex to find something that could potentially be set on fire.
<Mathmatt878> "Not very subtle there, kid."
<unconsciouslyExistential> >The panda can apparentl read my mind.
<Mathmatt878> (well, when you ask if the house is made of a flammable substance, then start searching your inventory.)
<Mathmatt878> (One can assume.)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (Bamboo is more than just flammable
<Thingymabob> ((he did leave))
<Mathmatt878> (its a small island)
<Mathmatt878> (the only outside is the area around his house
<Mathmatt878> )
<unconsciouslyExistential> (If someone asked if your floor was made of mahogany and then started looking through their pockets would you think they were looking for a bowling ball to drop on your fresh wooden floors
<Mathmatt878> In your sylladex, the only potentially flammable object you find is your cookalizer.
<unconsciouslyExistential> You attempt to hide your presence from the panda, and decaptchalogue the cookalizer
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2 for stealth
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 for stealth [ 1d20=10 ]{12}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20 for insight
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 for insight [ 1d20=20 ]{20}
<Mathmatt878> (suck it)
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( i thought it was a perception roll against stealth
<Thingymabob> ((it is))
<Mathmatt878> (doesnt matter, he doesnt have modifiers)
<Mathmatt878> (its the same roll anyways)
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=10 ]{10}
<Mathmatt878> (roll insight please)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=17 ]{17}
<unconsciouslyExistential> (Wis, right?
<Mathmatt878> The panda charges at you, hammer raised, but fails to intimidate you into leaving the island.
<Mathmatt878> (Yep)
<Mathmatt878> (but you succeed anyways.)
<Mathmatt878> (unless you have a -8 modifier)
<Mathmatt878> Seeing that you aren't intimidating off, he decides to actually attack you.
<unconsciouslyExistential> (is that even possible
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=19 ]{19}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d6
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d6 [ 1d6=2 ]{2}
<Mathmatt878> The hammer strikes your arm for two damage.
<Mathmatt878> (have a negative score.)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I frown at the panda, and decaptchalogue the cookalizer, setting it down next to his home and rigging it to explode in a burst of flame before standing up, and readying my own weapons. I prepare to parry his next strike.
<Mathmatt878> (thats all of your turn?)
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( Yeah
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( Minor to interact with the cookalizer, major to parry i think
<unconsciouslyExistential> End turn
<Mathmatt878> As a minor action, the panda kicks the cookalizer off the island, then turns to grab you
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=18 ]{18}
<Mathmatt878> (roll either athletics or acrobatics)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=10 ]{12}
<unconsciouslyExistential> (damnit)
<Mathmatt878> The panda grapples you, and begins dragging you to the edge.
<Mathmatt878> "I told you to leave."
<Mathmatt878> Your turn.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to struggle out of the pandas grip.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2 for acrobatics
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 for acrobatics [ 1d20=20 ]{22}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20?
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20? error: malformed expression
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20 ?
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 ? [ 1d20=19 ]{19}
<Mathmatt878> (so close)
<Mathmatt878> You get the HECK outta his grip.
<unconsciouslyExistential> (what action is that?)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (minormajorwhat)
<Mathmatt878> (major)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (kk)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I swipe at the panda with one of my scissors
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2 to hit
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 to hit [ 1d20=7 ]{9}
<Mathmatt878> (miss)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I move back away from the edge, and behind the panda, end turn.
<Mathmatt878> The panda attempts to grab you again
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=19 ]{19}
<Mathmatt878> (athletics or acrobatics again)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (jesus christ these rolls)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=19 ]{21}
<unconsciouslyExistential> (rekt)
<Mathmatt878> The panda fails his grapple. Somehow.
<Mathmatt878> Your turn
<unconsciouslyExistential> I, of course, lunge at him with my scissors
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 2#1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 2#1d20+2 [ 1d20=6 ]{8}, [ 1d20=3 ]{5}
<unconsciouslyExistential> these rolls man
<Mathmatt878> (Lolnope.)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I end my turn.
<Mathmatt878> grapple again
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=1 ]{1}
<Mathmatt878> He fails.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Attack again!
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 2#1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 2#1d20+2 [ 1d20=10 ]{12}, [ 1d20=1 ]{3}
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( do either of those hit? )
<Mathmatt878> The first strike hits, the second, however, gets caught in the panda's magnificent body fur.
<Mathmatt878> (First does)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d4+2 for damage
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d4+2 for damage [ 1d4=4 ]{6}
<unconsciouslyExistential> boo-ya
<Mathmatt878> (also, you lost your off-hand scissor)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (; - ;
<Mathmatt878> The panda grunts, but continues nonetheless.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20 to grapple again
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 to grapple again [ 1d20=8 ]{8}
<Mathmatt878> (acrobatics/athletics)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=16 ]{18}
<Mathmatt878> He fails, and runs back inside his house, quickly grabbing three various objects.
<Mathmatt878> Your turn.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I shift my main-hand scissor to my off-hand, and follow him into the house.
<unconsciouslyExistential> (Does that cost an action to shift hands?
<Mathmatt878> (nope)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (kk)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attack with the scissor in my hand
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2 to hit
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 to hit [ 1d20=5 ]{7}
<unconsciouslyExistential> t h e s e r o l l s
<Mathmatt878> Inside, you see the panda wearing strange gloves, handcuffs at his belt, and odd boots.
<Mathmatt878> He charges at you and grapples again.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20+2 (from handcuffs)
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20+2 (from handcuffs) [ 1d20=1 ]{3}
<Mathmatt878> He fails.
<Mathmatt878> Again.
<unconsciouslyExistential> lol
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to retrieve my other scissor from his fure.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20 for... dex i guess to avoid it?
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 for... dex i guess to avoid it? [ 1d20=18 ]{18}
<Mathmatt878> (you roll too)
<Mathmatt878> (also probably dex)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=9 ]{11}
<Mathmatt878> You do not get the scissors back.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I try again to get the scissors back, provided that was a minor action.
<Mathmatt878> (probably major, you're like, grabbing at him)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (fair enough)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I stab with my offhand scissor nonetheless
<unconsciouslyExistential> Roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=7 ]{9}
<Mathmatt878> (close, but nope_
<Mathmatt878> )*
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( 10 AC, i presume )
<Mathmatt878> (eeyup_
<Mathmatt878> )*
<unconsciouslyExistential> I end my turn
<Mathmatt878> Keep grappling until it doesnt work!
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=17 ]{17}
<Mathmatt878> (important note: when it doesnt work, it counts as working)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=2 ]{4}
<unconsciouslyExistential> hnng
<Mathmatt878> You are grappled again.
<Mathmatt878> The panda begins dragging you the edge again.
<Mathmatt878> Your turn.
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to wiggle my way out of his grip.
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=12 ]{14}
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=14 ]{14}
<Mathmatt878> (ummmmm)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (???)
<Mathmatt878> (i think the rule is it goes to the defender?)
<Mathmatt878> (but there was some controversy over if that was right)
<Mathmatt878> (im gonna go with defender, until told otherwise.)
<Mathmatt878> You remain grappled.
<unconsciouslyExistential> my hand has been forced
<unconsciouslyExistential> Taking advantage of the meta-physical properties of my sylladex, and my ability to use it while physically constrained, I eject the contents of my modus at the panda.
<Mathmatt878> roll 7#1d20 for ejection to hit
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 7#1d20 for ejection to hit [ 1d20=6 ]{6}, [ 1d20=5 ]{5}, [ 1d20=19 ]{19}, [ 1d20=4 ]{4}, [ 1d20=19 ]{19}, [ 1d20=11 ]{11}, [ 1d20=1 ]{1}
<Mathmatt878> (3, 5 and 6 hit)
<Mathmatt878> (cloak, chair and seadweller)
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( guessing, 1d2, 1d6, and 1d6?
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d2, 2#1d4
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d2, 2#1d4 error: malformed expression
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d2
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d2 [ 1d2=1 ]{1}
<Mathmatt878> toll 2#1d4
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 2#1d4
<Mathmatt878> roll 2#1d4
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 2#1d4 [ 1d4=3 ]{3}, [ 1d4=4 ]{4}
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 2#1d4 [ 1d4=2 ]{2}, [ 1d4=4 ]{4}
<unconsciouslyExistential> oops
<Mathmatt878> we'll use mine, since it was first
<unconsciouslyExistential> kk
<Mathmatt878> the various objects strike the panda, but he does not release his grapple.
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( So, 6 + 1 + 7 damage so far
<Mathmatt878> (yep)
<unconsciouslyExistential> ( More than 14 hp, 0_0
<unconsciouslyExistential> i end my turn
<Mathmatt878> (Fun fact, consorts arent supposed to be attacked for a reason)
<Mathmatt878> (especially when they're buff)
<Mathmatt878> The panda drags you closer to the edge.
<Mathmatt878> And throws you.
<Mathmatt878> roll 1d20
<`DICE> Mathmatt878 rolled 1d20 [ 1d20=4 ]{4}
<Mathmatt878> (Roll dex to stay on)
<unconsciouslyExistential> roll 1d20+2
<`DICE> unconsciouslyExistential rolled 1d20+2 [ 1d20=15 ]{17}
<Mathmatt878> You do not go off the edge, but you do end up inside the portal behind the panda, disappearing from his island.
<Mathmatt878> (He wasn't trying to kill you)
<Mathmatt878> (He just wanted you to leave.)
* Thingymabob has quit (Quit: http://www.kiwiirc.com/ - A hand crafted IRC client)
<unconsciouslyExistential> I find myself extremely upset at the loss of my pair of scissors.
<Mathmatt878> (oh, right)
<Mathmatt878> (thats not really fair of me)
<Mathmatt878> (you get the scissors and your inventory too)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (oh-kay)
<Mathmatt878> (because...)
<Mathmatt878> (shenanigans™*
<unconsciouslyExistential> (so i cant have a reason to have a personal vendetta against the panda for taking my favorite pair of scissors?)
<Mathmatt878> (you can for him kinda beating you up with a hammer)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (I mean... He's not going to be happy with him, but he's got more important enemies.)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (Well.)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (HAD more important enemies)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (The scissors would have just been the thing that rocketed him to the top of the to-kill list)
<Mathmatt878> (you really like scissors, huh?)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (They are a special, expensive brand of scissors)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (And also his main weapon of choice)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (Imagine if someone stole/broke Kazuma's rapier)
<Mathmatt878> (her rapier is lame)
<Mathmatt878> (her main is her pistol)
<unconsciouslyExistential> (pistol, then)
<Mathmatt878> Anyways, you're on another island again.
<Mathmatt878> Went in a white portal, came out a black one, theres a bamboo hut.
<unconsciouslyExistential> You un-equip your scissors, and venture into the next hut.
<Mathmatt878> You see a sleeping panda.
<unconsciouslyExistential> You examine the home for anything important, aside from the sleeping panda.
<Mathmatt878> Nope, just a panda on a mat.
<unconsciouslyExistential> You leave the hut.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Nothing for you to do there.
<Mathmatt878> You do so, and there's another white and dark portal.
<unconsciouslyExistential> You enter through the white portal, glad for the momentary break.
<Mathmatt878> You arrive on a new platform, with a new bamboo hut, and a new panda sitting inside, checking a telescope.
<Mathmatt878> "Oh, hello there."
<Mathmatt878> "Why are you here?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> You shrug.
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Nowhere else to be."
<Mathmatt878> "Alrighty then."
<Mathmatt878> "Wanna check out my telescope?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Why not?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> He walks over to the telescope.
<Mathmatt878> "I use this to check on everyone else and see how they're doing."
<Mathmatt878> He hands you the telescope.
<Mathmatt878> "I'm one of the few pandas who miss the others, everyone else just learned to live on their own."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I look out of the telescope, gazing down at the landscape before me.
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Why is everyone on their own anyways?"
<Mathmatt878> "Bridges collapsed, left us separated."
<Mathmatt878> There's not much for you to gaze down upon, all of the platforms are the same height, but you can see closer details on some of the further away platforms.
<unconsciouslyExistential> "What about those portals? The ones that I just came through."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I attempt to view the farther platforms
<Mathmatt878> The panda gives you a quizzical look.
<Mathmatt878> "What portals?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Those ones." I point in the direction of the portal I walked through, or at least, where i remember it being, without looking away from the telescope.
<Mathmatt878> "There's, uh, nothing there..."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I look up from the telescope.
<Mathmatt878> The platforms in the distance look basically the same, with the same designed huts, and some pandas visible.
<Mathmatt878> You see the normal dark portal, but the white portal is in a different spot than normal.
<unconsciouslyExistential> You point to the dark portal. "That's the one."
<Mathmatt878> It's still there, but rather than being directly across from the dark portal, it's on a diagonal angle.
* Thingymabob (Thingymabo@CPE-120-145-7-6.lnse2.wel.bigpond.net.au) has joined
<Mathmatt878> "What are you pointing at?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> He blinked at the panda for a moment, then shook his head. "Nevermind."
<unconsciouslyExistential> "Thank you for the view, I'll be off now."
<Mathmatt878> "Where can you go?"
<Mathmatt878> "Can you fly?"
<unconsciouslyExistential> "No."
<unconsciouslyExistential> I wave at him, and, without further explanation, walk into the portal.
<unconsciouslyExistential> The whiteo ne
<Mathmatt878> You do so, and reappear back in front of your hive.
<Mathmatt878> Finally, you're done with that whole chain of events.
<unconsciouslyExistential> You wonder what that was all about.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Nonetheless, you return to your respiteblock, and opt to take a short name in your recuperacoon after that draining series of events.
<unconsciouslyExistential> nap*
<Mathmatt878> You WOULD do that.
<Mathmatt878> If you weren't too distracted by the floating girl in front of you.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Oh gosh.
<unconsciouslyExistential> Floating girls.