Oregairu 11.6

gTVolume 11 Chapter 6

[The genuine article that he seeks is still out of his grasp and he continues to mistakes what’s real.]

The oven and the kitchen timer rang out in quick succession, emitting a piercing sound. Each time they sounded out, the cooking room would be filled with both sighs and cheers, and the air would be filled with a sweet and fragrant smell.

Looking at the crowd of people who had gathered in front of the oven, it looks like Miura’s masterpiece, which she poured her heart and soul into making, was completed without any issues.

Miura opened the over door carefully, and from it, took out a chocolate gateau before quickly bringing it to Yukinoshita.

Yukinoshita began to inspect Miura’s work. In the time of one, two breaths, she observed it slowly and carefully. Miura, who was beside her was restless, whereas Yuigahama who was nearby as well, seemed to be tenterhooks.

Before long, Yukinoshita looked up at them after taking a short breath.

“……It looks fine to me. I think it’s been done quite beautifully.”

Hearing Yukinoshita’s words, Miura heaved a sigh of relief and her shoulders relaxed.

“Yumiko is amazing!”

Yuigahama hugged Miura and Miura’s face relaxed as well.

“Un. Thank you, Yui…… Yu, Yukinoshita-san as well.”

Her face was faced towards the side, but her eyes kept glancing at Yukinoshita. What a strange way to express her thanks, her reply too, was strange as well.

“I haven’t tasted it yet so I can’t really comment much. But for now, it seems to be a pass.”

Can’t she just give an honest thanks in return, this girl…… However, what Yukinoshita said was not wrong. Today’s events was not simply to teach others how to makes confections.

“Yumiko.”

As though wanting to give her courage, Yuigahama gently patted Miura’s shoulders.

Being urged on like that, Miura forgot to take off her mittens and carried the chocolate gateau away as though it was some valuable item. Then, she walked in front of Hayama and twisted her body awkwardly as though she was embarrassed and spoke.

“Ha, Hayato…… This, could you help me...... to taste it?”

Seeing her unable to look at him directly, and seeing her steal occasional glances at him, Hayama replied her with a composed smile.

“Of course. If you think I am suited for this.”

“Un…… Un.”

Miura seems to be searching for something that she ought to say, but in the end, all she managed was a deep blush as she nodded her head several times.

Seems like she’s really trying her best, I thought as I clapped my hands in my heart. Meanwhile, someone beside me was moaning.

“Mumumu……”

“What are you moaning about?”

I glanced at Isshiki, only to see give Miura a hateful gaze. In her hands was a beautifully wrapped baked sweet, complete with a message card that she already made.

She was holding on to it tightly.

“That seems to be a nice cake, Miura-senpai.”

“Ah, that chocolate gateau turned out pretty well, much to my surprise.”

Hearing that, Isshiki went “Haa?” and looked at me dubiously. Can you not look at me with that ‘What on earth is this girl talking about?’ kind of look?

Isshiki pretended to cough, then began to explain what she meant with gestures.

“No, no, I don’t mean that. I am talking about the gap, the gap. How can she change her normally ‘bad-girl’ attitude to something so cute all of a sudden? That’s super unfair, isn’t it?”

“Ah, ah, that……”

As expected of this master of slyness. Speaking of Miura, she probably wouldn’t to resort to something like this. This was simply a display of a young maiden. Isshiki seemed to have understood this point as well and she rambled on, “Her personality doesn’t seem that bad actually.” I agree, but your personality on the other hand, is pretty bad though.

Although she kept on grumbling, but once she was done with it, she seemed contented and smiled all of a sudden.

“Well, but this makes it all the more fun to compete with. After all, some people aren’t even worth competing with.”

Saying that, she sighed as though disappointed by something and then said, “Ah, that’s it” like she just thought of something and proceeded to take out something from her apron pocket after fumbling about a bit, and then with a ‘Poi’, threw it at me.

“Senpai, please accept this.”

Taking it, I took a look at it. I was a small vinyl bag that contained cookies. Besides a small ribbon, there didn’t seem to be any other sort of decoration on it. It was a world of difference from the luxurious and gorgeous looking set of baked sweets that Isshiki was holding.

“What, are you giving this to me? Thank you?”

It was given to me so casually that I didn’t know how to really express my thanks.

She was going on about how giving obligatory chocolate was important and something about men’s pride. Well, what do you know, her character wasn’t so bad after all! I am sorry for saying that you had a bad personality just now?

Hearing my apology, Isshiki laughed all of a sudden and then she placed her thumb gently against in front of my lips.

“……Keep this a secret from others, okay?”

A devilish smile appeared on her face. Then, she winked at me and said,”It would be a bother if people know about it~” before walking away. Seems like she was walking towards Hayama.

As for me, I was rooted to the spot, stunned by Isshiki’s antics and her expression just now. She was no longer being sly, in fact, she was being quite scary…… If I was the past me, I would have fallen for her right away in that instant.

As I trembled with fear at my sly Kouhai’s destructive power, I took a look at her, to watch her put in her best effort against Hayama.

Issihiki looked at Hayama with upturned eyes as she went Kyarurun~ as she passed him the baked sweets. [1]

“Hayama-senpai, please taste this as well.”

“Haha, can I finish them all?”

Although Hayama was still eating Miura’s chocolate gateau, he gave Isshiki an invigorating smile as welcomed Isshiki’s advances maturely.

And so, once again, he found himself stuck between Miura and Isshiki.

Then, with some crunching noises, Tobe walked towards Hayama whilst feasting away on some checkered cookies and he gave Hayama a thumbs-up.

“Hayato-kun, if can’t finish it, I can help you.”

“No, I didn’t prepare Tobe’s portion.”

Tobe’s kind words were frozen by Isshiki’s cold voice. Faced with this, Tobe started whining to Hayama.

“Irohasu is so mean!? Hayato-kun.”

“I am very happy that you are being considerate for me, but I think it would be better for you to just eat your own share, Tobe.”

Hayama told Tobe quietly, as though he was whispering to him. Thereupon, Tobe gave a thumbs-up again and laughed.

Oh I see now. Seems like the checkered cookies were made by Ebina-san. That was unexpected, and as I though that, I took a look at Ebina-san.

“Un, HayaTobe? Doesn’t seem to be a match.”

Ebina-san seem unsatisfied, and shook her head repeatedly as she munched on her checkered cookies. Seems like there was no future in that route.

Now then, ignoring Miura’s side, I wondered about how the others were doing. I looked to the area opposite Miura’s area, which was where Kaihinsougou High was. They seem to be almost done as well.

Meguri-senpai and some others were together with the current Kaihinsougou High student council members and its alumni, chatting away happily as they made the pastries. Amongst them, there was one person who noticed my existence and waved her hand at me. It was Orimoto Kaori. Ah ah, what are you doing waving you hand at this time? You haven’t changed since junior-high. ……Well, I guess it didn’t matter since I wouldn’t overthink about that action of her now.

Orimoto seemed to be making something on the kitchen table and then came running towards me.

“Hikigaya, here.”

After saying that, she passed me a paper plate of chocolate brownies. Seems like this was what she wanted to give me just now. Ah, no wrapping of any sort. No, that’s wrong, to be able to receive something from her was already kind of a big deal so I should be thankful for that.

“Then……”

I recited thanks for the food and began to tuck in. Then, I saw someone appear behind Orimoto.

“Un. Isn’t this sort of exchange great? To build up SEAMLESS relationships outside of the school framework is important. This is probably something necessary for the future.”

Hearing that way of speaking, I immediately knew who it was. He was the student council president of Kaihinsougou High School, Tamanawa-san.

Having noticed Tamanawa, Orimoto walked towards him with the plate as well.

“Ah, president, you are here too. Here, for you as well.”

“Th, thank you….. This is something from me.”

As he thanked Orimoto for the gift, he took out something gently as well. It was a beautifully cut chiffon cake. It seems like it was something that they had made.

Orimoto looked at the chiffon cake blankly.

“Eh? Why?”

Hearing that question, Tamanawa proceeded to cough for a bit, and then started to start his lecture with his (god-damn jazz hands) gestures.

“During Valentines, it is the norm overseas for guys to be the ones giving gifts. This time, I want to have a feel of this GLOBALISATION. In japan, this is probably what you would call being INFLUENCED.”

“Oh?”

However, Orimoto’s reply seemed lackluster this time round, and didn’t say anything like “PREACH IT!” Probably noticing the weak response, Tamanawa quickly added in some more words and his gestured picked up speed.

“This is probably due to the CULTURAL GAP that exists between Japan and other countries. If I had to give an example, it would be like how people in France only wear a skirt in front of important people.”

Oh……In other words, this was the reason why Totsuka didn’t wear a skirt! I need to try harder! PREACH IT!

Just as I was renewing my resolve, Orimoto suddenly took a bite of the piece of chiffon cake.

“This is delicious. Thanks.”

“Ah, un. That…… It’s about time for COFFEE BREAK, how about we head back now?”

“What the heck is a coffee break? You are so funny.”

Orimoto laughed and said to me, “See you” as she waved her hands and walked back towards the Kaihinsougou High students. Then, Tamanawa who was left, stared daggers at me.

“Well then, let’s do this FAIRLY next time.”

Leaving me those baffling words, Tamanawa sauntered off.

“Nope, I am not going for her……”

Come to think of it, did my murmuring reach his ears? Nah, probably not. If my words weren’t in KATAKANA, he probably wouldn’t hear it.

Then again, considering his attitude just now, could it be, that that was Takanawa’s effort in trying to hit on her! It looked like he was totally unable to convey his intention to her. ……Who cares, it’s none of my business.

Putting his matter at the back of my mind, I needed to work hard too. The important part is to get Totsuka to wear a skirt in front of me.

Eh, Totsuka, totsuka, suka, totsuka. I began searching for Totsuka in high spirits, and I easily found him. As expected of Totsuka, no matter where he was in this world, I had a hunch that I would be able to find him anyway!

I approached him and saw that he was together with Zaimokuza, and they were with Keika. Upon taking a closer look, Kawasaki was beside the kitchen table, clearing up the area as quickly as she could. I guess that the both of them had taken of the task of looking after Keika whilst she was cleaning up the area.

However, it seems that the two of them were not used to interacting with kids. Both had a look that suggested they were fighting a hard battle. Zaimokuza seems to have buried his face in the ground. At least there was still Totsuka soloing on. He was going ‘Eh’ and seemed to not know how to start a conversation with Keika.

“First time meeting you, Keika-chan. I am Totsuka Saika. I am in your care.”

“Oh. Saika….. Saika…… Sa-chan? Sa,sa-chan?”

Probably because Keika heard a name similar to her sister, she because flustered as she didn’t know how to address him.

Un un. I understand your pain. I was also flustered by Totsuka’s super cuteness.

Well, I am quite confident in my abilities to hand young girls. Time for me to step in and help Totsuka.

“Ah, Hachiman.”

“Ha-chan!”

Totsuka heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing me, whereas Keika looked up at me innocently. As I patted Keika’s head, I gently make her look at Totsuka.

“Sai-chan. Call him Sai-chan.”

“Un,Sai-chan.”

Keika’s flustered attitude from before seem to have been resolved as she knows now how to differentiate between the two. Totsuka seems to be happy upon having his name called out by Keika, and laughed with an “Aha!”

Now then, there was still one more person, that person that was hiding behind Totsuka.

“This is Zaimokuza Yoshiteru. You can call him Zai-chan.”

 “Zaimokuza.”

“No, no honourifics!? You are only doing that to me!? Is that some kind of reward in the industry!?”

Although Zaimokuza liked to exaggerate himself normally, but this seems to be genuinely surprised at having his named called in such a manner by a young girl. He was totally shocked and was stunned to the spot. No, was that actually joy? Well, who cares, it’s just Zaimokuza.

However, the ever kind hearted Totsuka did not forget to follow up on this.

“Don’t, don’t get too excited. Kids are prone to remembering weird words.”

“U, Uumu…… But my name is not weird……”

Zaimokuza shook his head as though unable to accept what he had just said.

As those two were bickering with each other, Kawasaki rubbed her hands against her apron and rushed back with quick steps. Thereupon, Keika called out Sa-chan and flew towards Kawasaki.

“Sorry, thank you for looking after her.”

“Eh, it’s nothing. Hachiman came to help as well. Are you done tidying up, Kawasaki?”

“Yes, all thanks to you all.”

As she thanked Totsuka, she stared at me. Her mouth opened and closed, as though having trouble with something she wanted to say.

“That, it’s about time to go back…… Need to prepare dinner.”

“Ah, I see.”

Listening to her, I looked at the clock. Sure enough, it was indeed close to dinner time. No wonder she was in such a rush to clean up the room.

Although it would have been fine to leave it as it is, Kawasaki was surprisingly thoughtful. Kawasaki-san, has all the makings of a housewife.

“Alright then, Ke-chan, let’s go back home.”

Okay…… Sa-chan.”

Kawasaki patted Keika’s shoulders gently. Then, Keika tugged at Kawasaki’s skirt and responded to her actions with a sweet voice. As her elder sister, Kawasaki seemed to understand what Keika was trying to tell her.

“……I understand. Wait a moment.”

Saying that, she took out a bag that was stuffed with chocolates, and passed it to Keika. Keika took it from her, looking very satisfied, and presented it to me.

“Here, Ha-chan.”

“I think she wants to give it all to you…… Do accept it.”

“Oh, oh thank you. Seems like it’s quite well-made. You did great Ke-chan.”

I kept rubbing her head repeatedly and she hugged my waist tightly. Hahaha, what a cute girl, makes me want to rub her head even more.

“……There’s, there’s probably some chocolates made by me mixed into that bag as well.”

As Kawasaki wore her coat, she said so with her face looking away. Hearing her, I looked at he truffle chocolate.

“Is that so?...... I can’t really tell. You sister is really amazing.”

“I know right! But, Sa-chan was working very hard just now too.”

With a cough, Keika puffed out her chest, and praised her sister with an arrogant attitude. Seeing that, Kawasaki gave a surprised expression before lapsing into laughter.

“You have already given him the chocolates, Ke-chan. Let’s go.”

Hearing that, Keika still did not let go of me. Witnessing this, Kawasaki continued to look at Keika intently. Thereupon, I could feel Keika trembling. Oi, surely there’s no need to look at her with such a scary face……

“Alright, let’s go, Ke-chan.”

As I said that, I began to walk, with Keika still clinging on tightly to me.

“Un, let’s go!”

Keika continued to follow me. Kawasaki gave a ‘Haa’ sigh as she followed us from behind.

“Byebye, Ke-chan. See you again.”

“Umu. SALAD BAR.” [2]

As Totsuka and Zaimokuza watched us leave, Keika waved her hands said “Byebye” to them. And like that, we left the cooking room and went down the stairs. In that time, Kawasaki helped Keika to wear a coat and wrapped a muffler around her. She was completely devoted to taking care of her little sister.

As she was doing those, we reached the entrance of the Communication Center. The sky outside was already dark.

“Do you want me to walk you to the station?”

“There’s no need. I always go back at this sort of time anyway. Don’t you have other things to do anyway?”

Kawasaki slung her bag and her grocery bag, and said something like ‘Heave-ho’, before bending down to pick up Keika. During this time, something underneath Kawasaki’s skirt flashed before my eyes. I tried to avert my eyes with all my power. Seems to be something with a black lace, but I definitely did not see anything else.

“Well then, good bye.”

“Ha-chan, byebye!”

Kawasaki lowered her head slightly in farewell, and Keika, who was now at Kawasaki’s chest bade me farewell as well.

“……Careful on the road.”

I called out to the two of them who were walking on the path that would lead to home, and watched their retreating figures getting smaller and smaller in the distance.

There was no wind and no clouds, and the winter night sky was clear.. However, it incited coldness as well. The two of them clung to each other tightly, so they probably wouldn’t feel any coldness.

I kind of regretted not wearing any coats before coming out.

Although all I had to do was to go back inside, but what was unexpected was that I did not move even one step.

As I shivered, I sat down on the steps in front of the door and sighed deeply.

I had clearly not done anything worth of note, but nevertheless, I still felt a huge sense of fatigue.

Yet, I felt that what I had done was sufficient as well.

Hearing Miura, Ebina-san as well as the Kawasaki sisters’ request, then organizing this event with Isshiki and the student council. There was also Orimoto, and Tamanawa as well as the student council members of Kaihinsougou High, and Meguri-senpai and Haruno-san too came running over to join, and even Hayama and Tobe came to participate as taste-testers. There was also Totsuka and Zaimokuza, and Hiratsuka sensei who dropped by as well.

It was more than enough.

I am really happy.

And that was what I murmured.

Just like the feelings of itchiness that an ant crawling on your body gives, that same feeling extended all the way to my neck, the corners of my mouth continued to remain in a smile. This was probably the cold’s fault that caused my face to stiffen in such a manner.

I rubbed my face to try and disperse the cold, and stood up at last.

X                                                       X                                                           X

Returning to the cooking room, I noticed that there were no longer any sounds of anyone cooking. Everyone was eating their own confectionaries and drinking tea, chit-chatting away happily.

This confectionary-making event that was before Valentine’s Day has ended. What was left, was to pass the remaining time away and formally bring this event to a close.

I walked towards my seat where I had placed my bag. Yukinoshita was there as well. She prepared the tea pot and red tea gracefully.

The kitchen table was equipped with a gas burner that was currently heating up the kettle, and now, the water seemed to have boiled. Yukinoshita poured some water out from the kettle and she prepared to make tea.

What was beside it, was not those usually seen tea cups or mugs, but paper cups instead. There was no need to trouble her to bring those here anyway.

Yukinoshita poured the red tea into the paper cup, and after preparing three portions, sat back down again. Then, she noticed me walking towards her, and called out to me.

“Ara, seems like you worked hard.”

“I didn’t do anything worthy of that.”

As I answered her I sat down, and Yukinoshita swiftly brought paper cup in front of me. Her eyes had a teasing edge to them.

“Is that so? Contrary to what you say, you seem to be pretty busy.”

“Busy?”

Was that because of chocolates? That’s right, chocolates and maka was really effective in reducing one’s fatigue. Come to think of it, the fact that I was moving quickly from place to place wasn’t exactly wrong, so it was indeed hard for me to deny what she had said. [3]

“Seems like you can get some rest at last.”

Saying that, she took a sip of red tea. Following her, I blew on the red tea and took a sip to taste it as well.

The feeling was different from when I used a normal tea-cup and I couldn’t get used to it, furthermore, because the heat would be directly transmitted to your hand, the speed at which I drank tea would also be slowed. Even so, it was still enough to warm up my body that had grown cold from the frost outside. After drinking a few mouthfuls, I let out a contented sigh.

“You worked hard as well.”

“Yes. That’s correct. I really worked hard.”

With that, Yukinoshita’s eyes looked in the direction of the oven.

Yuigahama was there.

Both her hands were wearing mittens, and carrying the baking tray, came running towards us.

Ah ah, I get it now. Yukinoshita was not only teaching Miura and Kawasaki how to bake. She probably taught Yuigahama as well. That indeed would be tiring.

“Hikki, try this!”

With a Ta-dah!, she presented a plate of chocolate cookies to me. Yuigahama must have had always been waiting in front of the oven for such an opportunity, for the cookies emitted a fragrance that indicated that it was fresh out of the oven.

Looking at it, it seemed to be just like any ordinary cookie. Although some of the shapes were uneven, but there weren’t any obvious burnt marks. There also didn’t seem to be any suspicious thing mixed into it. There didn’t seem to be any problem with it.

Right then, what was left was just the taste.

I took a peek at Yuigahama’s expression, who was standing right in front of me. What I saw were her pupils sparkling with anticipation, her restless shoulders shaking nervously, as well as a smile on her lips that tried to cover up her lack of confidence.

With that kind of expression she was making, I had no choice but to eat it……

I gulped, making an audible noise. Naturally, what I swallowed wasn’t saliva. If I must say it, then what I swallowed was my resolution!

“……Alright, let’s eat.”

With a long and deep breath, and then rolled up my sleeves all of a sudden! Just as I was about to quickly extend my hand towards it, Yukinoshita who was beside me opened her mouth without warning.

“You seem to be making some sort of tragic resolution, but it’s going to be alright. I more or less helped her with it.”

“......What, well then, I am relived.”

“I think I just heard something horrible!?”

Easing the tension from my shoulders, I tossed the cookie into my mouth carefreely. With a few munches and crunches, I swallowed it. After waiting for a bit, I realized that my body did not produce any adverse reaction to it.

“……Amazing. It’s actually edible.”

“What do you mean by its edible…… Cookies are naturally edible, in fact, it’s meant to be eaten.”

As my honest thoughts unconsciously spilled out, Yuigahama puffed out her face upon hearing it. No no, knowing your cooking skills, this was already considered great praise from me?

But my surprise was real. Yuigahama really did put a lot of effort into it. Although all of this was really thanks to Yukinoshita……

As I thought so I looked at Yukinoshita, she was brushing her hair off her shoulders, and puffed her chest out in pride.

“This is to be expected. After all, I did monitor her carefully for each important step of making the cookie.”

“That’s called monitoring!? I thought, that that was just you teaching me normally.”

Although Yuigahama seemed dejected, but in Yukinoshita’s vocabulary, monitoring and teaching essentially had the same meaning, so she didn’t really have to take it to heart.

In fact, Yukinoshita really didn’t seem to care about the difference between the meanings of those two words, and was busy moving the cookies from the baking tray to a paper plate, and inspecting it carefully.

Then, she pinched her jaw, and nodded her head.

“Doesn’t seem to have much problem. There seems to be nothing wrong with the taste as well, so I shall eat a little as well.”

“So what you mean is that, I was there to test for poison…… Why am I the one who does such a dangerous task?”

“Don’t keep making that talk about it being poisoned! I want to eat it as well.”

The three of us sat back down, and reached out for the cookies.

It felt crispy and had a buttery fragrance to it. The aftertaste left behind by the soft sweetness and the bitter chocolate made it irresistible.

“……Delicious.”

After eating one, Yuigahama made that remark casually, to which Yukinoshita nodded her head repeatedly at that. The two of them looked at each other, and Yuigahama immediately gave a shy laughter joyously, to which Yukinoshita returned it with a smile of her own.

Thereupon, Yuigahama turned her body to face me.

“It’s tasty, right? Right?”

“Didn’t I say that it tasted normal?”

I already said that just now. Didn’t I? Being forced to answer by Yuigahama’s vigor, the expression of the two of them quickly grew dark.

“Ordinary……”

“Normal?”

Yuigahama drooped her shoulders a little, and Yukinoshita glared at me lightly. Eh eh, wait a minute, what should I say in this sort of situation…… I racked my brains for the sayings of Hikigaya Hachiman Onii-chan, and mobilized my entire vocabulary that I had ever used on Komachi.

“Ah, eh. Well, that, that is the cookies are super delicious……. Thank you for them.”

Timidly, gingerly, I searched about for the words to say, and Yuigahama face instantly lit up, and Yukinoshita’s gaze became gentle as well.

“Un!”

Yuigahama replied energetically, whereas Yukinoshita remained silent as she refilled my cup of red tea.

That’s great, Komachi, your Onii-chan seems to have found the correct answer……

Just like that, although I had to bring in Komachi to this, but truthfully speaking, these cookies really were tasty. Saying thanks was also because I truly felt grateful.

The sweet cookies, the warm red tea, having all these, were more than enough to make me satisfied. It should be so. That’s why, once again, in my throat, I murmured that I was really happy.

And yet, that feeling of unease still existed within me.

Just as I felt that, I heard the sound of high heels steeping on the floor.

That person didn’t seem to be interested in hiding the fact that she was approaching us, in fact she seemed to be bragging out her existence. Step by step, she approached us, and revealed herself.

Noticing the high-heel sounds, Yukinoshita stole a glance behind me. Her brow furrowed nearly instantly.

Just by these alone, it was sufficient to deduce who it was behind me. It was Yukinoshita Haruno.

“Nee-san. What’s the matter.”

Haruno-san did not answer Yukinoshita’s question. Rather, she looked at me straight in the eyes, silently. Her fingers glided across her mouth, those seductive lips slowly opened.

“This is Hikigaya-kun’s genuine things?”

The instant she said that, a chill ran over my spine, and I averted my gaze from Haruno-san’s face instinctively.  However, Haruno-san would not allow me to escape, and she took another step yet again to close the distance between her and me.

“This moment in time, is what you meant by the genuine article?”

“……I don’t know.”

I had no idea of how to come up with a meaningful answer.

Haruno-san’s question had in it a sense of coldness, but also at the same time, it was also genuine.

As though it was telling me that she really didn’t understand, that she couldn’t comprehend this at all. That voice, sounded like she was forsaking me.

“Nee-san, what are you trying to do?”

“That, that’s right, this, th, that……”

I raised my hand gently, stopping Yukinoshita and Yuigahama who was about to speak, having been unable to tolerate this anymore. Right now, the person who was being asked was me.

From the start, I didn’t need to do anything. Yukinoshita Haruno didn’t seem to be interested in anything else apart from my answer. She looked at me intently, noticing my each and every action, noticing each of my breaths.

“Is that it? ……I thought that you weren’t this sort of person.”

Saying this, she approached my back, and lowered her head and looked at me eye-to-eye.

“Are you really that boring?”

The distance between us was so close that I could feel her breath, that this distance was so close that I could touch her just by moving a little. Yet, that sentence felt as though it came from somewhere shockingly far.

“If I was that interesting, I would have already become the class popularity king.”

“That is something that I like about you.”

Seeing how I answered her whilst looking away, Haruno-san laughed as though she had found something funny. Then, she finally took a step away from me.

If she were to leave like that I would be more than happy. However, Yukinoshita Haruno would not do that. I had known long ago she wasn’t such a generous person.

Haruno-san was a step away from us, and glaring at all of us.

“……However, you are all so boring currently. I… kind of prefer the Yukino-chan of the past.”

That sentence caused me to catch my breath. I felt that my face was stiffening.

Although I had no way of looking at the expressions of Yukinoshita nad Yuigahama who were looking down, I dare say that their expression and mine were the same. I willfully decided that for myself.

Haruno-san seemed to have realized that no one could answer her and took a short breath. Soon, the sound of the high-heels gradually grew further.

Hearing that voice, I understood very clearly what she was trying to convey.

The words hidden behind Yukinoshita Haruno’s words, that this was not genuine.

I agree.

Met with this type of situation, these sort of relationships, there was that feeling of discomfort that I had.

Due to lack of experience, because I wasn’t used to it, hence, I had always thought that these were merely feelings of discomfort. I had always though that with the passage of time, I would get used to it, that I would be able to accept it.

Even so, she did not overlook this.

Something that had frozen and had clung on to my chest. The restless cold that was within me. The feeling of disgust that had always been there but had not revealed itself even until today.

Things that I didn’t want to think about, had all been pointed out by Haruno-san.

“That is not trust, but something more unforgivable, more awful.”

X                                                                                         X                                                                                         X

What was left behind after a festival was loneliness.

It was not an exception for the event held in this cooking room. After Isshiki completed her simple concluding statement, everyone began to pack-up and left in groups of two and threes.

The number of people gradually grew fewer, the originally lively cooking room grew quiet as well. Only the student council members were left as well as us, the members of the Service Club.

As I was helping the student council members to clear up the trash and return everything to their original positions, Isshiki returned after having collected the posters.

“The student council will take care of the rest, so you guys can leave now?”

Listening to her, I took a look around the room once more. There was indeed not much left to be done. There shouldn’t be any big problems leaving the rest of the work to them.

However, my answer was the opposite.

“Un……. But, I still want to help till the very end.”

“Yes. There’s no need to be too considerate towards us.”

Be it Yuigahama, Yukinoshita or me. We all chose to stay back and help out.

Hearing our answer, Isshiki was surprised and looked at me seeking confirmation. As I nodded my head in reply, she smiled.

“Is that so? Then, I will take you up on your word.”

Although Isshiki said that, but the one should be taking her up on her word was me. Because once this was all over, there would be no way for me to stop thinking about those things that I do not want to think about, hence I wanted to delay time as much as possible.

However, this kind of resistance could not continue to prolong this period of time.

The tidying up was almost complete, the only job left was to clean up our kitchen table.

I squashed the already cold paper tea cup, and tossed it into the trash bag. After sealing the opening firmly, there was nothing else to do.

After locking the door, and checking for anything that we had forgotten to take, everyone left the communication center. Placing the trash bag at the designated area, there was no longer any reason for me to stay here.

“Okay, senpai, thank you for your hard work.”

Near the entrance of the communication center, Isshiki gave a quick bow. The rest of the student council members also nodded their heads in agreement. This event was way too sudden, and everyone had a look of exhaustion on their faces.

No one else had the strength to utter, “Lets go celebrate!” or things along those lines, and each began to left for their homes.

The three of us were the same.

Yukinoshita checked her bag and some big luggage. There was probably red tea or some sort of cooking utensils for her own use in there.

“……Let’s go.”

“Ah.”

Following Yukinoshita, I pushed along my bicycle and prepared to head towards the train station. However, Yuigahama grabbed hold of the back of my bicycle.

“What?”

Hearing me ask that, Yuigahama gave a somewhat troubled smile.

“I, I was thinking, let’s go have dinner?”

Her abrupt request caused me and Yukinoshita to look at each other.

“What should we do? It’s already quite late.”

“Then then, since I am going to stay overnight at Yukinon’s house, how about we eat something nearby?”

“Tonight…… You just decided that on your own didn’t you…….”

Indeed, Yuigahama seemed to stay over at Yukinoshita’s house quite often. I had the impression that they always go back together after this sort of event.

“Is, is that all right with you? I can’t?”

Yuigahama said so in a coquettish tone. Yukinoshita sighed softly.

“I don’t really mind……”

“Woohoo! Then, let’s go! Hikki……What about you?”

Her sweet voice was slightly different from the way she spoke to Yukinoshita just now, and caused me to feel a sort of pressure.

Hence, unable to think of a suitable reason to reject her, I had no choice but to agree.

“I will go as well, since I am hungry anyway. How about we gather by the station?”

“Un!”

Hearing her reply, I nodded my head in return as well.

I changed the direction of my bike, and began to pedal immediately.

X                                                                                          X                                                                                         X

When I reached the train station, the two of them had also just came out from the gantry.

They were taking the train and I was riding my bike. Of course, the speed of the train was faster but sometimes, due to the waiting time, then there wasn’t that much of a difference between riding a bike and taking the train. This time, we had arrived at the same time coincidentally.

After meeting up, in order to let Yukinoshita put her luggage, we first headed towards her home.

Yukinoshita’s house was not very far from the train station, and the three of us engaged in casual conversation, and occasionally walked in silence.

Walking past the side road of the big park, a towering condominium that I was used to seeing soon came into view.

Walking past the pedestrian crossing, we were about to reach the entrance of the condominium, but suddenly, Yukinoshita stopped.

“What’s the matter?”

“Ah, nothing……”

After being asked, Yukinoshita’s reaction was slow to answer. She seemed to be staring intently at something with a quizzical look. Following her eyes, I saw a car. I had some form on impression towards that black luxury car.

That looks like…… Just as I thought till there, the car door opened, and a female alighted.

Her lustrous black hair was tied up together, she was dressed in a kimono and her style of walking exuded a sense of grandeur as well as dignity. This person was Yukinoshita’s mother.

“Mother…… What are you doing here?”

“I heard from Haruno about your future education path. I came here to talk to you regarding that. Yukino. What are you doing outside so late at night……”

Facing her mother’s caring gaze, Yukinoshita lowered her head. Seeing her reaction, Yukinoshita’s mother sighed lightly.

“I thought that you weren’t the type of kid who would do something like this.”

Hearing this sentence, Yukinoshita raised her head in an instant, and looked at her mother’s eyes fixedly.

However, she was unable to object to her, and was only able to bite her lips softly and looked away. The kind yet cold words wrapped about Yukinoshita. To keep her in check, to deny her, this sentence was more than enough.

Yukinoshita’s mother was not looking at her sharply. Her voice too did not contain any trace of anger or irritation. Perhaps it would be more correct to say that it was closer to that of grief or sorrow.

“I believed in you, hence I gave you freedom, but…… No, this is my responsibility, this is my failure.”

Not giving anyone the opening for a rebuttal, Yukinoshita said as such and shook her head silently when she was done.

“That is……”

Yukinoshita spoke in a weak voice as though trying to say something, but this too, was swept away by yet another sentence from her mother.

“Perhaps it’s my bad……”

Her own monologue was apologetic and she seemed to be lamenting something as well. Her monologue that came out in bits and pieces that showed her frail and self-punishing attitude did not permit anyone else to take the blame.

No one else, not even Yukinoshita, who was the subject of her talk.

As soon as she noticed Yukinoshita’s mother sighing away in regret, Yuigahama spoke timidly.

“That…… Today is, because it was an event by the student council, that’s why, she was helping out until so late……”

“Is that so, are you here to walk her home, then, thank you. However, it’s already quite late now, your family members must be worried about you. ……What do you think?”

Hence, please hurry up and go back. Although she didn’t say this directly, but she conveyed the same meaning with that kind voice and gentle smile, without any trace of sharpness in her words no matter how hard you searched.

At the same time, her attitude also drew a clear line for all of us, that this was their family’s problem, so outsiders shouldn’t interfere in it. We had no choice but to back off as well. We both knew that we weren’t in a position to say anything.

After we kept our silence, Yukinoshita’s mother quietly closed the distance between us, and gently touched Yukinoshita’s shoulders.

“I hope that you are able to become yourself, to live a life of your own…… However, I am afraid that you would walk the wrong path…… From here on, what do you want to do?”

This question seem to contain a lot of subtext. I was unable to completely understand it.

“……I will explain it properly, so could you please go back for now?”

“Is that so…… If that’s what you say……”

Hearing the words from Yukinoshita, whose head was lowered, Yukinoshita’s mother had a perplexed expression on her face. Then, her gaze shifted towards me and Yuigahama.
“…… It’s time for me to go back as well, since she’s already safely back home.”

Saying that, I gave a bow towards Yukinoshita’s mother, and turned about. Having a boy so close to her daughter who lives alone, that was probably something that didn’t rest well with her. If I were to continue staying there, that would probably be unfavorable for Yukinoshita.

After walking away for a few meters and looking back, Yukinoshita seemed to have exchanged a few sentences with her mother. After that, Yukinoshita’s mother returned to the car. Yukinoshita who remained rooted to the spot for a while quickly disappeared behind the condominium’s doors.

As Yuigahama and I waited for the traffic light in front of the pedestrian crossing, Yukinoshita’s family car slowly drove by in front of us. The windows of the back seats were covered with some reflective material, and I was unable to look inside. However, I felt that I was being observed, which made me lose my composure.

Soon, the light turned green, and Yuigahama ran a few steps ahead before turning round.

“Then, I will go back first.”

“Ah…… let me walk you home.”

However, Yuigahama shook her head.

“There’s no need, it’s very near to the station from here. Also, I feel that…… this isn’t very fair.”

“……I see.”

I replied her helplessly, and just like that, I watched her leaving figure walking away from me.

Even if I were to make a detour to the train station, it wouldn’t really affect the distance that I have to travel to go home. Even so, I still did not chase after her.

Watching her figure growing smaller and smaller under the street lamps, I finally started to get on my bike.

The wind was not big, but the cold air of winter pierced my face painfully.

Ignoring everything else, I began to pedal my bike non-stop, and as opposed to my body which was starting to get heated up, my mind became completely chilled.

What I appear to be. What she appears to be. What our true self appears to be.

No matter who it was, we all have our personal image that had always been determined by others, one that was always slightly off the mark. Whether it’s me or her, we were all the same. Our true selves and our appearances always seem to differ from one another.

This was a fact that was easily understood without the need for anyone to confirm it.

Because, this was what I had said so in the past. This was what the Hikigaya Hachiman of the past had always been saying.

Was this really okay? Was this your desire? Was this Hikigaya Hachiman?

That jeer, that angry roar, that howl; I closed my eyes and shut my ears to prevent myself from hearing them. What replaced the words that should have come out of my mouth, was a hot sigh.

Our true self was something that not even ourselves could assert. Then, this genuine article. Where can we actually find our true selves? Why was it that in this world, our relationships were defined by this sort of thing?

Unease. Once I give this a more definite name, I would no longer be able to think of it as just mere unease.

This feeling, this relationship, was something that cannot be defined. It was something that must not be given a name. One shouldn’t discover the meaning of such a thing. Because, once one appends a meaning to it, it would lose all of its other functionality.

If I could just admit it, it would surely be easier for me, but the reason why I did not do so, was because I knew. That if I mold it into something else, if I were to change it, it would only lead to its corruption.

Because what I wanted was something incorruptible, I had always avoided giving it a name.

Whether it was me, or her, were we all clinging onto these shapeless words? My brain was full of such thoughts.

At the very least, I wouldn’t have to think about these extra stuff if the snow would just fall and cover up and hide away all these sort of thoughts.

However, snow was extremely rare in this city, and tonight, the night sky was not muddied and was perfectly clear.

The light from the stars were ever so bright, and illuminated me ever so distinctly.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

[1] Catchphrase of Makoto Kikuchi from Idolmaster.
[2] A misheard from Fist of the North Star. Supposed to be sa-ra-ba-da (farewell), but in the anime was misheard/described as changed to sa-ra-da-ba (salad bar).
[3] Chocomaka means something in a continuous motion. But if you split it up, you get choco (chocolate) and maka = maca in Spanish, which apparently has aphrodisiac effects.(and supposedly gives you a temporal energy boost)