Thread 105: Stories 16-30

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 OOCO
>AJ
"Celestia"
~~~

>Ya' know, at some point we should probably think about releasin' Twilight's inventions ta' the public, don'tcha think?

"Oh yes, because they've show they absolutely can handle rapid technological or magical advancement no problem!"

>Now, that ain't fair.

"They've had taxis for less than three years, and they already managed to be assholes about it."

>...Ya'll couldn't get a taxi neither?

"I'M A GODDAMN PRINCESS WHO THE FUCK TELLS ME TO GET MY OWN TAXI!?"

>Huh... thought that was just Twilight.

"SUCH BULLSHIT I'M A PRINCESS ARE YOU A PRINCESS TOO!?"

>...what.

"That happens sometimes, just leave it be. Come on, LETS GO FLY TO THE CASTLE!"

>...

"I-I don't know what's wrong with me..."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AJ
"Big Mac"
'Granny'
~~

>OH CRAP OH CRAP OH CRAP AH DUN LOST MAH LITTLE SISTER! THIS IS THE WORST! AH'M WORST SISTER! THIS IS IT! THIS IS HOW AH' FINALLY GO BONKERS! NOT HER! NOT HEERRRRERER!

'...Uhh, is she implyin' that it would'a been better iffin' it were you or me?'

"Eeeeyup?"

>Okay, okay THINK! Where did she say she was gonna go... THINK APPLEHORSE THINK! WHERE!? WHEEEEERE!?

'Campin'.'

>...Pardon?

'She said she was goin' campin, she was just waitin' fer' you.'

>Oh... ohhhh... OHHHHHHHHH! Oh... uh oh.

"Uh oh?"

>Ah' promised her we'd go campin' this week a while ago.

'And?'

>Annnd... changelin' thing came up. So... soooo...

"So she was probably a little sad?"

>Little heartbroken, probably. Ah' mean, this is the first chance we've had ta' spend ta'gether just her and me...

'So, what's she normally do when ya' cancel?'

>Mopes in her room.

"...The room back in Canterlot?"

>That would be the one. Awwww, shucks! Ah' feel like a right rotten apple. Could'a at least brought her with me, but Ah' didn't even speak ta' her for days! Wow, Ah'm worst sister.

"Sounds like it."

>...thanks, Ah' feel the love.

"Applebloom didn't."

>WOW! Okay, WOW!

"Mean it."

>Just... ugh, Ah'll send a letter ta' Spike ta' see iffin' he can see if she's still mopin' and bring her down iffin' she'll come. This'll be fine. Just fine.

'...'

"...Let it out."

>Ah' cry on the inside, thank you.

"..."

'...'

>...AH'M WORST SISTERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

"There it is."

>BAWWWWWWW!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OoCO or NC
>AJ
"DT"
'SS'
~~~~
>Once again it's nightmare night. Hopefully it goes better than last year.
Knock knock.
>Eh? Now who can that be?

"'Nightmare Night what a fright give us something sweet tonight!'"

>...what are y'all doing?

"What's it look like? We're trying to get candy."

'Pleeeeease?'

>...couldn't you buy a bunch of candy yourselves?

"...Look are you going to give us anything or not? It's nightmare night."

>...sure.
Puts an apple in their bags.

"...really?"

>Apples are sweet. Plus they're good for you.

'Wow...wooooow.'

"...thanks a lot."

>Y'all are welcome.
SLAM

"..."

'...We're totally egging her door later.'

"Ooooh okay. I'll totally back you up."

'No pony gives me an apple on Nightmare Night!'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OoCO or NC also.
>AJ
"AB"
~~~~
>Let's wrap this up here and-
Knock knock
>Another one?
Opens door
>Ah already gave you kids-

"Nightmare night what a fright. Give me something sweet tonight!"

>Applebloom!

"Hey sis!"

>What brings you here?

"The sweets of course! Sooo got anything?"

>Oh...here.
Gives Applebloom an apple. AB gives a look.

"...really?"

>In mah defense. Ah didn't think anypony would come to my door asking for candy.

"This is grounds for somepony to egg your door ya know."

>Oh don't be silly. Who would be mad enough to egg somepony's door for not having sweets? Besides, apples are sweet. They count.
AB looks at her apple then gives a disapproving look at AJ.

"...you gave your own sister an apple for Nightmare Night...who later goes back to an apple farm."

>Uh...ya know why don't you ask Princess Luna, she probably has candy.
SLAMS

"...Ah have half a mind to egg her door."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Dash
"Twilight"
'Fleetfoot'
~~~~

"...Uh..."

>Long, long story.

"Yeah, you know, I thought that after she admitted to it publicly and all that, you'd be like... less willing to bring her back on. That seems like a dealbreaker to most.'

>You wouldn't get it.

"Get what?"

>...Hey! Fleetfoot!

'Yeah?'

>How's it feel to be back in the suit?

The other pegasus said nothing. She merely smiled, breathed in deep, and continued on her laps.

"Huh... I don't get it."

>Told you so.

"...Guess you were right."

>Had to happen sooner or later, I guess.

"Heh. Good job."

>... had to earn one of those sooner or later too.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>7
"Fluttershy"
'Buttercup'
[Bubbles]
{???}
~

>Well, for whatever it is worth... ta da. The base of operations, the epicenter of this whole thing... is it everything you hoped it would be?

"I'm noticing a lot of cages."

Her fur bristled on end as she looked around, a foul bile mixing in her stomach as she did so as the chaos clawed at the corner of her mind. Were it not for the fearful whimpers of the wolf hiding behind the changeling like a shield, she was not sure she could have held it in.

Instead, she could focus on in the dingy place, little more than a barely cleared section of forest, and of the things that brought her such ire. The bars of thick logs and strong twine holding together the unsettling things meant to hold and contain, meant to capture. From the rents, clawmarks and tears within every one of them, it was plain to see that whatever had been inside had been unappreciative, to say the least.

>Yes, well, they're not exactly in a... talkative mood at the start. However...

One by one, they emerged. Monsters of height great and small. Cragodiles, serpents, tigers, so many beast and beings. Slowly, cautiously, but they emerged... and so many of them had scars. Terrible, terrible scars.

They looked to him, the changeling in their midst, with joy. Curiosity towards her, a pony they had never seen before with minds as they were.

And fear, when they saw the wolf shake.

{She am scary? She... small.}

The pony of chaos could not help but jump a little bit when she heard the Cragodile rumble, a voice unnatural coming from it's lips.

>Please treat her nicely, she is our... guest.

{She am scaring Bubbles... not like her.}

She could not keep the pang from her chest when the thing spoke again, defensively rumbling and advancing as she did so.

It hurt all the more when she knew full well she deserved it.

>It's alright, Rock Biter. It was simply a... misunderstanding. Bubbles is fine, she's just a little spooked. You know how she gets.

{Hrmph.}

Tellingly, the creature shared a look with the manticore of the group. Only when she gave a slow nod and wave of her paw did the thing back down, and return to a stationary, if cautious, stance.

"...It's time you gave me some answers."

>Oh? Wouldn't you like to have a discussion with them? They don't get much company, I'm sure they'd love to talk.

He felt it, without ever seeing it. A slight rumble in the world, a twitch that made everything slightly off, slightly uneasy. He felt it seeping in, even as the world looked the same.

Her chaos was coming loose...

>Very well... I suppose you want to know what this is all about, don't you?

"That would be a good start."

>...Well, it all started after my... experience. Afterwards, it became obvious to me that we, changelings, are dependent on ponies for our love. Not simply for power to attack or destroy, but simply to be. I realized, quite frankly, that we would forever be tethered to you. Dependent on you, really. We could never be our own beings so long as we were forced to use you, and only you, for substance... so I sought to change that.

He proudly gestured to them all, a beaming, if slightly maddened, smile splitting his face.

>I decided to create a way for us to obtain love... without ponies. I took them, I captured them, and I gave them... knowledge, and thoughts and wishes and dreams. I gave them all of it so them, these before you, could feel it. I gave them this ability so that they could feel... love. At last they could know love.

"...How did you do all of this? How... how did you do so much?"

He couldn't help but let out a bit of a choked laugh, unable to keep it down. No poker face could cover up that.

>Look, while I really do appreciate that you think I'm capable of something like this, and I admit it does the ego proud that you think I'm intelligent enough to figure out something this grand in a few months... frankly, I'm just not that smart. This is all about Bubbles, really.

"What about her?"

He ran a slow, loving hoof over Bubble's wooden frame, illiciting a pleased rumble from her.

>Bubbles here was the very first step. She, as you can very plainly see, has been... used before me, we'll put it nicely. I'm not, as you probably figured out, the first one to think to themselves 'how useful would it be if we could speak to animals'? Admittedly, the funding behind Bubble's time implied it was more... shall we say, about what the animals could do for them in times of warfare, really.

"And you don't want that."

>Heh... quite counter intuitive, wouldn't you say? All the same, Bubbles was influentially chosen by the research team for her ability to 'come back together' quite quickly when they were poking around up there. As you can see, sadly... she had limits.

She could see that, plain for all to see, she could see that.

And it made her stomach boil.

>While investigating possible leads, I stumbled across hers. An infiltration here, a breakout there, and she was loose, and I had all the research leading up to her. They had never manged to finally break that barrier, you know. She was as mute as any other when I got to her... but I changed all that. With that research, I was catapulted... well, for me centuries, but for a reasonably smart one it probably would have been more along the lines of a couple years. They had left quite a lot of 'markers' on the way, it was simply a matter of following them, and then using my... special skills to go beyond. Changelings know of mind magics you ponies simply do not. Using it, I was able to make connections they couldn't see, build bridges they never could, and push her that last leg into thought. Now, here she is. Speaking, thinking, just as they were hoping for. She knows, and she understands... but...

"But?"

His eyes cut to the side, and his smile grew again. This time, less of the madness made it's way in. Far more of something else would take it's place.

Warmth.

>But, I didn't quite figure it out until Buttercup. She was special.

Said manticore proudly puffed out her chest, smirking with pride at the attention.

>She was the one who showed me how to make it take. Most of them were here quite longer than her, but she... she was the first real success.

'Me am smartest too.'

>Let's not make it a contest, shall we?

'Me am!'

>And... well, that's it, I suppose. That's how this all started.

She looked around, to every one of their waiting faces, noticing something... off...

"Why are they all predators?"

>Hm? Oh, it works better on them... don't ask me why, it's just when I tried this with squirrels and bunnies, it wouldn't stick. I don't understand it myself, it just seems to... work, with them.

Suspicion was blooming in her like a grand flower, but to her dismay she couldn't think of anything to bring to bare just yet.

"So it's... working?"

>They're speaking, aren't they?

"I meant your goal. Are you getting enough... love?"

At last, that smile went away entirely, replaced with a deep, uncomfortable frown.

>...no.

"No?"

>I won't sugar coat it, no. It hasn't worked like I want it to yet. Maintaining and expanding their intelligence is draining more love than I am getting back, by quite a large difference.

[H-him always look so sick at end...]

The poor thing shivered, unable to look at him any longer.

>I told you, Bubbles, I'm alright. It just takes a lot out of me.

"So it's not working?"

>...Not yet, no. Right now, it's a love-sink. They get their intelligence, but I'm not quite to the point where... I don't know, they don't quite have that final click yet. I've hit a wall... though I'm hopeful with my recent discoveries, I can finally break through it. If I can, if her words were true, then I can at last create sustainable, real food for my kin, no dependent on draining beings like Shining Armor, not relying on you to keep us alive. Of course... this assumes you allow me to continue.

He looked to her, as serious as he had ever been.

>If you do not, well... there is that, yes. But on the other hoof, I'm sure with your help and your powers, I could manage all sorts of new, wondrous things with this. Your magic might be the last thing I need to clear the final hurdle and give them hard, concrete, self-sustaining intelligence and emotions. Or, at the very least, I'd be happy if you supervised this and made sure they were being cared for and looked after. I'd appreciate the help, even. My Queen is your friend, I see no reason not to trust you to look after them. But it is all to you. You can help me... or stop me. What is it going to be?

To say she was at war with herself would do it no justice. If one were to open up her head and look inside, they would see nothing less than a grand scale battle that put every invasion ever been combined to shame, quite literally perhaps.

A part of her was still disgusted, sickened that he had gone into their minds, changed them, altered them in ways she didn't understand. This was wrong.

She hated that he was using them, and their affection, for food. Animals should be loved and cared for because of who they are, not what they can give. This was wrong.

Even the mere idea that he was planting thoughts into their minds made her sick, that anyone would do this to an animal when it clearly could not consent to such an act seemed unsettling, at best.

But...

"They don't look sad, or like you're hurting them."

>Would be rather backwards, I'd say. I get more success the happier and more loving they feel. I want them to feel like they are loved, and to love back. You cannot force love with violence, at least in the way we feed on, and certainly not in a sustainable way.

"...How are you feeding them?"

>Well, ones like Rock Biter aside, they love fish. Fish is rather easy to catch with some mind control, and despite my best efforts I cannot seem to give minds to them, so it's a healthy middle ground. I'm having them hold back on eating the small creatures in the hopes I can use this on them too, as breeding something like rabbits would be far easier and faster than, say, a Manticore-

'HRMPH! That right, they faster. Because me bigger.'

>-so until that point, they're fine... except for when some of them slip back into bad habits, Grounder!

{ME NOT SORRY!}

>Ugh. That lizard. She always has to chase the groundhogs.

{ME HAVE TASTE, THANK YOU!}

"So..."

So, for all intents and purposes, she reasoned, he was essentially... merely using them as domesticated animals.

"You're still draining intelligent creatures."

>And if I stop, then they won't be anymore. They'll go back to normal, and be like they were before.

All of them, every one, looked uneasy at the prospect of that.

"But... but..."

>Well? It's... it's all on you. If you tell me to stop, I clearly can't do anything else. You could destroy me, and all of them, with a whim. You're more powerful than anything I could hope to throw at you. You tell me, do you want them to go back to normal?

It was a perfect unison, a harmony unseen outside of this place. All of them, tensing in perfect synchronization, and looking ready to run at any moment.

[G-go back...]

The wolf whimpered like a broken puppy, hiding away as best she could.

>No, oh no no Bubbles, no, you won't go back to... there. Just back to... like you were before.

'Me no want to go back!'

Her roar was nothing less than thunderous, and her pointing of her empty gun as threatening as she could be with essentially nothing there.

'Me not want to be like was before! Me smarter! Me... me dream now...'

So many shared her thoughts, but the pony had only one.

How could she know?

That was all there was on Flutteshy's mind. How could she know if this was honest, or if this was merely as he commanded them to be? How could she know if these were their own thought...

Or his?

This wasn't as simple as the chickens she had in her barn, this wasn't as easy as the rabbit that was her pet. This had... consequences. This went against nature, theirs and the very balance of Everfree itself. They were not meant to have this.

But did that mean she deserved to take it away from them? Could she really proclaim the need of 'natural' when she herself was... like this? How could a thing of chaos shy the thought of things not being 'natural'?

This was her choice. She was the one who looked after the animals. They were being cared for, but they were being used. They were being looked after, but they were being lorded over as well. They did not harm the little animals, they could be free. All of her little friends could be free, and not be eaten... but it's possible they were supposed to be, and taking it away was wrong. Taking it away would have consequences.

Monsters big and small were waiting on her, to know if she would send them back... or push them forwards.

"...I..."

>Princess?... What would you like to do?

"...I..I..."

>Princess?

"...i..."

Pop.

Before the eyes of all present, she was gone. Popped like a balloon, and nothing remained but scraps that turned to mist upon hitting the ground.

They were silent as it hit them. She was gone.

'...So am that yes or no?'

The changeling, for once, didn't have the answers she sought.

For they were far, far, far away, on nothing less than the moon itself.

Where a single yellow dot was visible, sitting in it's shadow, with her hooves in her pink mane.

"I don't know what to do..."

The horn within her mane had never felt more useless, or alien.

Nor had she herself.

"I don't know what to do....."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>AJ
"SA"
'Celestia'
~???~
~~~

>AHHHHH!

"AHHHHH!"

'GAHHHHHHH!'

>WHICH ONE O' Y'ALL DID THIS!?

"Us! It was clearly you!"

>Oh sure, gang up on me after ya' put THAT in mah' dang bathtub!

'It clearly wasn't us!'

>HOW IS THAT CLEAR!?

"Because we said it!"

>So!? Y'all do some crazy stuff in there! Really unsettlin' stuff! Ah' don't know what'cha get up to!

'Do not correlate happy bath times with THAT!'

>Ya' might'a done it without even knowin' it!

"I THINK WE WOULD HAVE NOTICED! It was probably you!"

>Me!?

'Well, you are a bit... country.'

>OH BUCK NO!

KICK!

'MY FUCKING SHINS! OH!'

>We like it dirty down on the farm, but that is a WHOLE other thing!

"..."

>FREAKIN' PERVERT!

"OW! I didn't say anything!"

>You were thinkin' it!

"How would you know that!?"

>BECAUSE O' REASONS!

'Ugggghhh... just... just someone scoop it out of the tub?'

"NOT IT!"

>NOT...

KICK!

"OWWWW!"

>No buckin' way!

"It's your tub!"

>Oh sure, NOW it's mah tub!

'Just clean it, please!'

>NEVER! You are gonna do it, seein' as Ah'm sure YA' DID IT!

"NO!"

'Fuck no!'

>On the count of three, then Ah'm buckin'... one... twoooo-

SLAM!

[There's my chocolate bar! I knew I left it around her somewhere... Oh! Hi guys! We having a bath party? And you didn't invite me!?]

'...Pinkie, why were you eating a chocolate bar in Applejack's bath.'

[Ohhh, reasons.]

>...
"..."
'...'

[...Did she kick you yet?]

BLAM!

[WORTH IT!]

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>Chrysalis
‘Spike’

>So…..Here we are.

‘Yes. We are here.’

>Aaaaaat a river.

‘Y’know, looking at it, it really is more of a stream.’

>An underground river.

‘I mean it’s pretty small’

>A terrifying, surging, pitch black, underground river.

‘And the current is really slow. Honestly I think stream is overselling it.’

>Full of power, and fury, and malice.

‘Y’know what? This is a brook. A gently babbling brook, so let’s just…get…c’mon now, get… get in there!’

Despite his best efforts the queen would not budge. Apparently merely being drained of love did not eliminate her ability to terror grip the floor.

‘Chrysalis! Come on! Look, I’ve got charity here, with the grappling hook, we loop that around you, I go first, get up on the other side, then you go and worst case I can haul you out.’

>You are not that strong.

‘…I kinda am.’

>Bullshit.

‘Stop gripping the floor for a second? I’ll prove it.’

>Fine. Go ahead, embarrass yourself.

The dragon cocked an eyebrow scurried under the queen and hefted her over his head with a grunt.

‘See? Told you.’

>…how?

‘You honestly don’t weigh that much, and I’m a dragon, and I’ve been working out a lot recently.’

>Alright fine. You made your point, now put me down.

‘Y’know….I Could just toss you in now….’

>…you wouldn’t dare…

‘Wouldn’t I?’

>LETMEGO! LETMEGO! LEMMEGOLEMMEGOLETME GOHOHOHO!!

‘Ah! Ow! Stop thrashing gah! There! You’re down! I was just messing around!’

>Not funny you little prick! NOT. FUNNY.

‘Fine, Fine, I guess not. …but you know what is?’

He raised his claw and tugged at the silvery thread which connected charity’s grappling hook, and tugged gently. The queen felt a pull around her middle.

>…How?

‘Just a little slight of claw. Now then….’

He began backing up slowly toward the river, the cord spooling out as he went.

>Lizardo….

He kept going grinning like a loon.

>C’mon now, don’t do it.

‘It won’t be so bad.’

>Hang on…

‘Just a few seconds and you’ll pop up on the other side.’

>Seriously, I’m not ready yet!

He kept going.

>SPIKE!

He stopped at the very edge.

‘Chrysalis. Just trust me. I’ll go as soon as you’re ready, and not before.’

The queen swallowed hard, and calmed herself.

>You sure this thread’s secure?

‘I’d trust it with Twilight’s life.’

She nodded.

>Ok…go.
***
The pair of them stood there in the caves, far from all they knew and loved

>Never never never never

‘It wasn’t that bad’

>Never never never never

It was like 30 seconds.

>Never never never never

‘You’re Fine!’

>Never never never never

‘…again. The word you want is ‘again’

>Never never never never

‘Just…just say ‘again’. Just say it. SAY IT!’

>Never never never never

‘FINE! Don’t say again! Never say again! Just spend the rest of your nigh eternal life gibbering about ‘never’ for all I care!’

>again.

‘GAH!’

>So dark…so cold…so wet…

‘Yes! Ok! I get it! That was not fun for you! Can we please keep going?’

>Y’know what!? I’m sick of your attitude about this! I just faced one of my greatest fears!

‘And it’s ridiculous! We’ve faced robot armies! Undying fungal abominations! Monsters from the realm of Chaos itself! It was just a brook, get over it already!

>…That’s it. I’m going to figure out what YOUR greatest fear is, and then I’m going to make you LIVE IT. You’re going to live it as long as I was in that WATER!

‘So like…two minutes? Tops?’

>The longest two minutes of your life.

‘Uh huh. Well just so you know, my greatest fear is being locked in a room with AJ, Rarity, and an entire drum of sapphire frosting.’

>…what?

‘No really! The indecision is crippling. What if I pick the wrong one first? What if the other feels neglected? HOW CAN I POSSIBLY JUGGLE THEM BOTH!?’

>…that is the weakest attempt at a briar patch reversal I have ever seen.

‘But I’m being honest!’

>And I’m the princess of humility. For pity’s sake lizard boy, what happened to your ‘twilight’s in trouble’ level headgames? Step. It. Up!

‘Eh….It was worth a shot. Anyway, Looks like we’ve got three options so…right, left, or center?’

As if to answer his question the magical green flame bearing his earlier message flew out of the right hand passage, still searching for a way out and took the center path.

‘…Left it is!’

>What? Why!?

‘Because there’s clearly no way out to the right, and if there is one center the message will find it faster and more safely anyway. Left is the most logical choice to search next.’

>Fine. Lead on. Just remember: your worst nightmares: you’re gonna live ‘em

‘Fine, fine…at least she finally shut up about the river.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NC
>Luna
"Celestia"
~~~~
>CRECENT MOON CUTTER!
A yellow spinning crescent energy blast leaves her crescent blade and disintegrates a nightmarish looking mime.
>And another nightmare falls.
Luna smiles at a job done when Celestia pops up in her face.

"Hey little sis."

>GAH! Wha-...sister, what are you doing here and how did you find me?

"What? I can't hang out with my little sis every now and then? The nightguards directed me here to this dream. I wanted to see how you're doing since it's hard to catch you."

>What does it look like? I'm working.

"Mind if I tag along?"

>...I suppose.

~Later in another dream~
>Begone shadow scorpion! There will be no nightmares here! CRECENT MOON CUTTER!
A yellow crescent energy blast leaves her crescent blade and turns into a banana. It still hits the shadow and disintegrates it.
>...what was that?

"Sorry, it was an accident. I was thinking how much it looked like a banana and it turned."

>That couldn't possibly be an accident. It would require a lot of concentration to change my attack into a banana!

"Oh then it couldn't be me. Did you see me concentrating?

>...I suppose not. It'd be too difficult for you, Tia.

"Wow, hurtful."

>Let's just move on.

~An even later dream~
>Plague this filly's dream no more, demon dog! CRECENT MOON BEAM!
She points her crescent blade at the nightmare dog, but glances at Celestia who's squinting in concentration and a banana leaves her blade.
>IT WAS YOU, TIA!

"What? No...nooo. Do you really think I would turn your attack into a banana? You're working right now."

>I saw you! I clearly saw you turning my attack into a banana!

"Okay, so I picked up a few tricks over the years. It's still the same attack. It just...looks like a banana. It's your banana destiny! Own it like it's your own! Come on little sis. Lighten up."

>I'm not little! I'm over a thousand years old!

"Oh you'll always be little to me."

>Get out, Tia.

"Fine you're no fun."

>I am a bundle of fun!

"...isn't that from one of your ads for sleepytime baby blankets?"

>Go fornicate yourself, Tia!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Luna"
~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content doesn't matter, and some of them want to be abused! Now for our main guest...PRINCESS LUNA!!!
Applause

"We must speak with you."

>Oh really? That's different. What is it?

"Something has come up and we need you as a sub."

>*gasp* Is now my time? Are you finally calling on the P-team?

"Yes, go get the other two and I'll explain."

>Yay! What came up anyway?

"...it's not related to revenge...is all we are going to say."

>...okay. That's it for tonight, but tune in to find out what's going to happen next!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"18"
~~~~

>Eighteen? I'm feeling like knocking off early, you ready to... go...

"..."

>...Eighteen?

"..."

>Hellooooo? You, uh... you in there?

"..."

>Really hoping you'll give me some kind of sign here...

"...A-aahhhhh..."

>Was that a scream or a squeak?

"...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

>OOF! S-scream it is!

"AHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

>E-EIGHTEEN! CHOKING! CAN'T BREATH!

"THERE ARE THINGS IN MY WALLLLLLLS! I SEE THEM! I SEE THEM ALLL!"

>Which wall!?

"THAT ONEEEEE!

>...I don't see anything.

"IT'S ONLY MEEEEEE!"

>Oh, okay, so... you want to go to dinner now and get away from the, er, awful things in the walls?

"Sure!"

>...

"...Oh! I probably look a mess."

>Please don't spend the next four hours-

FWOOSH!

"There we go! All ready! You set?"

>...Yes.

"...Sooo-"

>You, uh, you okay?

"Never better! Come on, lets get going already!"

>Right behind you, sure...

LEAVES!

....

~DAMN IT!~

SNAP!

~I was hoping to have a little more fun with that one! But she got rid of my carefully calculated madness like that!... HRMPH! All that chaos wasted, that's just not right!... Oh well, I'll have to accept it....... Applejack next. Ha ha!~

SNAP!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OOCO
>SA
"Celestia"
'???'
~~~

>Rock?

"Check!"

>Bubbles?

"Check!"

>Powder to cover up any remaining blue signs?

"Check!"

>Comfort rubber ducky?

"Annnd, check!"

>Great! We've got everything, now lets get to-

Rattle rattle.

>...

"What's wrong?"

>The door won't open.

"Oh, ha! Big strong stallion can't even open a door? Don't you go limp on me, Shiny, we've got so much left to-"

Rattle rattle

>...

"...Hrm..."

Rattle Rattle.

>...
"..."

RATTLERATTLERATTLE

"WHY WON'T IT OPEN!?"

'Ah' put a lock on it.'

>...

"...You can do that?"

'Filed the paperwork and everything.'

>...NOOO!

"FOILED! WE HAVE BEEN FOILED!"

'HA! Ah' gotcha now, ya' little varmits! Ah've got mah' bathroom back-'

>Unless we do the thing, of course.

'...The thing?'

BLINK!

'GAH!... GADDANG TELEPORTIN' HORSES!'

RATTLE RATTLE!

'Wha-OPEN MAH DOOR!'

>Caannn't hear you!

"Over all this water we mean."

>If you want to stop us, teleport inside!

'...'

>That's what I thought.

"WHEEEE!"

SPLASH!

'...This did not go as planned.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >AB
"SL"
'SB'
~~~~~

>.... Okay, gals, lets take stock here and weigh our options. Lets he reasonable about this.

"It is raining."

>The rain has been noted.

'Hard.'

>Likewise, we got the severity of the rainin' down pat.

"We're on a road that is now mostly mud, and have not seen a town since this morning."

>Time and place, noted.

'Theres no lights in the distance.'

>None, noted.

"And thanks to us losing our saddlebags in the forest, and Sweetie Belle just plain forgetting hers on the cart-"

'I'M SORRY!'

"-Apology recorded, but without those, we have no shelter from the rain."

>And finally, right in front of us, is a creepy, broken down, abandoned looking house surrounded by overgrown weeds and trees.

"Along with, occasionally, what looks like a light inside."

'That might be the lightning.'

>... It probably ain't. So! Our options are, go along a road made o' mud, in a storm, in the middle of the night, without any sign of civilization, food or water, or we go in the creepy house till mornin'.

"So, hypothermia death, or ghost death."

>... Hypothermia ain't so bad.

"Heard you even feel warm during it even!"

>That sounds amazin'! Ah'm so cold.

"Hypothermia for the win-"

CLACK!

>... Did that house just drop a bowl on its doorsteps?

"A bowl of..."

'CANDYYYYYY!'

>SWEETIE BELLE NO!

SLAM!

>... Leave her?

"Brought it on herself."

*ARF!*

>Alright! Alright! Don't push me... Dang dog with a moral compass...

"... I'm just gonna go-"

*ARF!*

"Alright! Don't poke me... Maybe it won't be so bad-"

~Welcome.~

>GAD DANG IT!

SLAM!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________


>29
"Luna"
~??~
~~

One would think, after his last event, that he would feel frightened. So violently was he taken from his last 'test' that he would be in a state of shock, of fear. And it was true, for initially he had been nothing but terrified, he had worried she would finally snap, give in to the darkness that had consumed her once before, and that would be the last of him. His end brought about by her own angry words and obscene power.

Now, however, he felt no fear.

He merely felt annoyed.

>Thou cannot be serious.

~Eek! A changeling!~

~Runnn!~

Rather than react in any way one would expect to ponies fleeing in terror from him, he was simply annoyed.

Very, very annoyed.

>Really? Really!? Ugh.. BOOGA BOOGA BOOGA!

~EEKKKK!~

"No no no no!"

She struck down like black lightning, scorching the earth behind her and leaving rents into the ground that did not really exist.

"Does thou not see!? If thou keeps up this attitude, thine race will be feared again! Hated! Driven out!"

>HRMPH! Thou thinks I care what is thought of me by the rabble upon this earth? Thine lowbrow simpletons who could never understand mine brilliance!

"What!? Mine conjuring were of the Canterlot upper elite!"

>...And?

"And?!"

>And? That is hardly the royalty for which I actually find impressive.

"Wh- okay, thou has a point that they are not of mine own stature, but they are still of nobility!"

>HRMPH, I say!

"...So, then, what if we were to conjure this!'

~OH NO! A CHANGELING! EEK!~

>Then I would think thee stupid for thinking thine sister would go 'eek'. She is of royalty, you fool!

"...WE WILL MAKE THEE LEARN!"

>GLK!

"COME!'

>T-thestranglingisnotnessecary-

She cared not, nor did she listen.

She was already gone.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Fuzzy
"Buzz"
~~~~

>Annnnd COMING AT YOU LIVE, IT'S FUZZY AND THE BUZZZZZ!

~Fuzzy and Buzz in the Morning, 97.1!~
~The heat is o-oh-on! The heat is... on the street!~

"Top story toDAY! The trip has made it down to ponyville!"

>WOOO!

~*BANJO RIFF!*~

>With all eyes on the Princess, can she keep up her whirlwind victory?

"She managed to make Canterlot like getting punched in the face, she's got my vote!"

~Nothin's gonna stop us noowwww!~

>Sadly, that is the only type of thing Buzz can convince anyone to take to the face.

"OHHHHH!"

~Not in the face! Or the anywhere!~

>But with the integration going so well, questions are being asked. Top question we've received... who's paying for this?

"That's "What is the phrase Fuzzy says most often at a restaurant" for 500, alex."

>OHHHH!

~Gonna need bout tree fiddy.~

>The princesses have assured us everything is in the budget, and no tax raises are on the horizon!

"Thus, you all get to enjoy champagne once more, and never fear eating carpet."

~Silly daddy, you don't eat carpet.~
~Ya' gotta boil it first.~

>That's our show for today, but we're coming at you live with a brand new single by Party Pony Productions, "This Party Don't Stop" by none other than... PINKIE PIE HERSELF!

"Oh no, ohhh no no no, I STILL HEAR SMILE SMILE SMILE IN MY HEAD!"

~Hmm hmm hmmmhmmhmmhmmm...~

>Let's see if she can catch lightning twice, and I'm going to enjoy Buzz's pain if you all don't mind.

"GOODNIGHT!"
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________