Lunch on XP Hill

You were sloshed, barreling down some Sonoma highway at twice the speed limit. Commiefornia might be a shithole but if the company is paying, why not have some fun? It shouldn't be legal for wineries to serve solo customers with no driver, but you aren't complaining.

As you drift around a corner, you see a hill that looks familiar. That's right, it's the Windows XP hill! You have many fond memories rocking XP SP3 on your first PC chama. You slam on the brakes and skid off the side of the road to get a closer look. The hill might be covered in grape vines now but it's definitely the same hill.

Suddenly, you see a polar bear cresting the hill and running towards you. WHAT? Polar bears don't live in California. Must have had too mamy drinks. You blink twice and there's the cutest most beautiful girl you've ever seen standing right in front of you. She looks like how you always imagined your daughter would look.

"Ohadayo I'm Kumagai Chisato. Please call me Beatani."

You can feel the spaghetti slipping out of your pockets. You haven't talked to a girl in months, let alone a girl this perfect.

"I'm hungry now."

Your heart is beating frantically. Is the cutest girl in the universe asking you out? The alcohol coursing through your veins gives you the courage to respond.

"W-want to get some lunch?"

"Tabun maybe," she says as she reaches towards you.

"aAaaaAaAaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

Your torso is torn open, your intestines and viscera spilling from the bloody laceration. Chunks of flesh and fat are stuck to Beatani's hands (claws?) and her fur (hair?) is covered in your blood. Like this, Beatani almost looks like you, except instead of crimson eyes, it's your red blood violently splattered across her face.

She pushes you down and whispers in your ear. "So cute and funny and usuful!"

Her bear ear is right in front of your face. You weakly bite it and she screams "neeee3333333! I want to die."

With the last of your strength you grab your gun and dump the mag. The bear (girl?) goes limp. "Bea.. be.. a."

You have one last thought as everything fades away. "I miss her already."