[JEFF THE SCIENTIST: NEW GAME >CONTINUE< OPTIONS QUIT]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:24 PM
Continue
PB - Last Tuesday at 5:25 PM
Continue
pionoplayer - Last Tuesday at 5:25 PM
"New game" :mspa:
MSPalBOT - Last Tuesday at 5:25 PM

TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:25 PM
[> CONTINUE<]
[...The recent past is recalled...]
[You are Jeff Mason, a scientist at Aperture Science. Today is the big day - Project Binary, the artificial intelligence you and everyone else have been building, under the strict supervision of the Advanced Superiors, is going to be turned on. But in the meantime, you've found yourself on the wrong side of the Superiors, and they're out to kill you. You've retreated to Old Aperture, the facility below yours, with Interrobang, the tenth Superior. You're in a series of test chambers called Project Seven-X-Seven, using various tools to find your way through, with the purpose of gathering the credentials of the Advanced Superiors to escape Old Aperture. You've found six of these credentials. Recently, Interrobang died in front of you and stored some colored energy into an item you picked up.]
[> Please input commands. <]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:27 PM
We're at the big door correct
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:27 PM
[Yes.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:28 PM
Enter the next test chamber
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:29 PM
[DOOR 7 is inscribed with an CARET. Below it is what appears to be a stick figure with a set of wings protruding from it.]
[You head through DOOR 7. It closes behind you. You feel weightless for a brief second as a TEST CHAMBER generates itself around you. A transmission starts up.]
[You... do not recognize this voice.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:30 PM
Oh joy
>check inventory for next special item
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:31 PM
["Hey there. It's Caroline. Mr. Johnson's out sick right now. Why? I don't know, but I bet he wouldn't want you to either! I'm here in his place. So, let's see what files we've got here. 'Army of Mantis-Men...' no, that's not right. 'Burn This Document...' ooh! Gladly!"]
[You hear the sounds of a lighter.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:31 PM
Amazing
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:32 PM
["Hm, next up is... Ah! 'Seven-X-Seven!' Let me just flip to the right page... Alright. Here we go. You ready? I'm ready. You're going to want to pick up the object... directly in front of you. Not to your left or anything. And yeah! That's it. I'll be here at the next test chamber - which I know you'll get to."]
[The transmission ends.]
[The object you recieved at the end of the last TEST CHAMBER was a PURITY FEATHER.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:32 PM
Alright then
Uh, look for object
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:33 PM
[You examine TEST CHAMBER ^-01. It consists of a very narrow space with an apparatus hooked up to the wall directly in front of you. Said apparatus contains a single object. The ceiling appears to be nonexistent - at the very least, it stretches absurdly high up.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:34 PM
...
Anyways take object
PB - Last Tuesday at 5:34 PM
Investigate object..?
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:36 PM
[You wrench the object from the APPARATUS. You acquire an APERTURE SCIENCE ANTIGRAVITY COLLISION MOLECULIZER. It resembles a cross between a JETPACK and a BACKPACK. There is a large red button at the object's backside with what seems to be a hole for recieving a narrow object directly below it.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:36 PM
Insert purity feather
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:37 PM
[You insert the PURITY FEATHER. The MOLECULIZER accepts it. The FEATHER turns slightly, and a pleasant ding erupts from the pack. The device seems to vibrate. You suppose there's only one thing left to do.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:38 PM
Put it on
PB - Last Tuesday at 5:38 PM
Take it
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:38 PM
Try to use it somehow
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:38 PM
[You press the RED BUTTON. Immediately, two long feathery WINGS eject from the sides of the MOLECULIZER. They vibrate intensely. Are they... flapping? You equip the MOLECULIZER, putting it on your back. You are now wearing what seems to be a JETPACK.](edited)
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:39 PM
Hm
Fly up
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:39 PM
[How? You do not know how to activate the MOLECULIZER's powers.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:40 PM
...
Are the wings still there
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:40 PM
[Yes.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:40 PM
Hm
Think floppy thoughts
*flappy
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:41 PM
[You concentrate, attempting to think about FLYING and the FLAPPING OF WINGS. This does not seem to work.]
we can't have nice onions - Last Tuesday at 5:41 PM
flap your arms
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:41 PM
Dang
Jump
TwinBuilder - Last Tuesday at 5:42 PM
[You jump.]
[Your feet do not touch the ground afterwards.]
[You realize with a shock that you're slowly drifting upwards. You have unlocked THE POWER OF FLIGHT.]
Pope Cipurr - Last Tuesday at 5:42 PM
Nice
Erelye: Hah.
Pope Cipurr: Rip
Nomble: . . .
PB: Oh my god
PB: good going
Bill Cipher: ((It's fine, just keep going.))
PB: So, uh, to where do we go?
Bill Cipher: [Up.]
Pope Cipurr: >try falling since you'll have to do that eventually
Pope Cipurr: or i assume we just push the button again if it comes to htat
Bill Cipher: [You do nothing, assuming you will fall. Nothing happens, and you keep moving upwards. When you push the BUTTON again, your WINGS immediately retract, and you immediately DRIFT to avoid injuring yourself.]
Pope Cipurr: that's what i figured
Pope Cipurr: anyways fly to the top
Bill Cipher: [You reactivate the MOLECULIZER. You propel yourself all the way up to the top of the room, steadily gaining speed. Eventually, you come across an EXIT DOOR.]
Pope Cipurr: whee
Pope Cipurr: enter
pionoplayer: "No, exit"
pionoplayer: "It says so in the name of the object"
Bill Cipher: [You enter TEST CHAMBER ^-02. A transmission starts up.]
Bill Cipher: ["Caroline here. Again. You must have gotten the hang of those wings pretty quickly! Personally, I think there's much more efficient ways that we could have simulated antigravity or, uh, something like that. But our... *benefactors*, is that the word he used, really? Uh, our benefactors insisted we do the whole "feathery wings" bit. Said it was mythologically accurate, or whatever."]
Pope Cipurr: hm
Bill Cipher: ["So! Now you can fly across pits and whatnot. Go you! With drifting you were still stuck to platforms, and with hard-light you were limited by sound. But now you can go anywhere. Which is good! You'll need to."]
Pope Cipurr: alright then...
Bill Cipher: ["And by the way, in case you were wondering. Mr. Johnson... is doing somewhat better."]
Bill Cipher: [The transmission ends.]
Pope Cipurr: "he's dead"
Pope Cipurr: anyways examine chamber
Bill Cipher: [You examine TEST CHAMBER ^-02. It is a long open field. Pillars of INK spew from the ceiling. There seems to be a massive dome of wire around the perimeter of the chamber. The entire middle portion of the ground consists of spikes, with a raised platform jutting from it. The EXIT DOOR is visible outside of the dome of wire, opposite from your position. It is locked behind what seems to be a HARD-LIGHT CUBE of massive proportions.]
Pope Cipurr: hm.
Pope Cipurr: >inv check
Bill Cipher: [You currently hold a TURRET GUN, INK-RESISTANT BOOTS, a QUANTUM STABILIZER, an AUDIOVISUAL AMPLIFIER, a HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER, and an ANTIGRAVITY COLLISION MOLECULIZER. You also carry **GODHEAD**, which contains the kaleidoscopic fire of INTERROBANG.]
Pope Cipurr: alright then...
Pope Cipurr: shoot the wire <:msPaint:213597855041060864>
crystalcat: Antigravity collision moleculizer...
crystalcat: First, test the HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER on the wire.
crystalcat: See if you can cut through it.
Bill Cipher: [You FLY all the way to the edge of the DOME and slice at the WIRE. The HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER does not make a dent - what's more, it ELECTRIFIES the entire DOME. The cracking and snapping of electricity fills the air.]
Pope Cipurr: alright then
crystalcat: Crap.
crystalcat: Okay...
Nomble: Shoot a door into the dome.
crystalcat: Examine your MOLECULIZER.
Pope Cipurr: uh, examine raised platform
Pope Cipurr: it's wings
Pope Cipurr: not much to figure out
crystalcat: hah
Pope Cipurr: turn em off turn em on
Pope Cipurr: etc.
crystalcat: if there's a dome of wire, and it's called a collision moleculizer, then I think there is more.
Bill Cipher: [You FLY to the raised platform. It is completely circular. There's not much else to say.]
crystalcat: Say, phasing or something.
Pope Cipurr: huh
Bill Cipher: [Do you stand on it?]
Pope Cipurr: sure
crystalcat: Do so.
Bill Cipher: [You stand on the ARENA PLATFORM. The spikes rumble, and shapes jump out from them.]
Bill Cipher: [You are attacked by five CHERUBIM.]
crystalcat: >Examine cherubim.
Pope Cipurr: >shoot cherubim
Bill Cipher: [The CHERUBIM are DIRKS with dark green skin. Their heads have been torn off and replaced with dark green skulls forged from crystal. CHERRY and LIME fire burns in their eye sockets. Leathery bat wings keep them aloft.]
Bill Cipher: [You shoot a CHERUBIM with your TURRET GUN immediately, damaging it. The CHERUBIM falls into the SPIKES, immediately dying.]
Pope Cipurr: beautiful
Bill Cipher: [The other four CHERUBIMS rattle their bones, swooping towards you and then quickly flying out of range. Their jaws unhinge, and beams of CHERUBIC CANDY surge their way across the ARENA, towards you.]
Pope Cipurr: right we can't...
Pope Cipurr: hm
Pope Cipurr: drift off the platform i suppose
crystalcat: Activate your antigravity collision moleculizer.
Pope Cipurr: unless there's enough room to dodge and stay on
Bill Cipher: [You DRIFT off of the ARENA PLATFORM. You are now instants from death.]
Pope Cipurr: activate wings
crystalcat: Fly, Jeff! Fly!
Bill Cipher: [You activate your MOLECULIZER in the nick of time. You fly upwards. The CHERUBIM's skulls all vibrate angrily as they see you have FLIGHT. You grin smugly.]
Bill Cipher: [The CHERUBIM vomit flaming swords. One of them rushes at you.]
Pope Cipurr: ...
Yung Venuz: >turret gun sord if we can't dodge
Pope Cipurr: uh, grab the one rushing and use it as a shield
Bill Cipher: [You want to grab an entire CHERUBIM armed with a FLAMING SWORD?]
Yung Venuz: Those are basically fully grown cherubs generic
Yung Venuz: and english was just a stunted child
Erelye: That isn't a fair comparison, as English obtained unholy amounts of spacetime-rending godlike powers.
pionoplayer: Technically,
pionoplayer: They're supposed to have those by default.
pionoplayer: These aren't fully grown,
Yung Venuz: ^
pionoplayer: Otherwise they'd basically be immortal.
Yung Venuz: ^
Bill Cipher: [> Please input commands. <]
pionoplayer: >get close to the spikes, switch directions at last moment, sending your pursuer into spike heck
pionoplayer: Enjoy your new facial piercings
Pope Cipurr: also these are just dirks
Pope Cipurr: with weird skull heads
Pope Cipurr: your arguments are flawed
Bill Cipher: [You FLY close to the SPIKES and then quickly fly upwards, leaving the CHERUBIM faceplanting into SPIKES. They manage to recover, but are bleeding horribly. Their FLAMING SWORD has fallen into the SPIKE PIT as well, and if they attempt to vomit another one, they will shatter their skull.]
Pope Cipurr: >examine size of spikes
Bill Cipher: [They aren't terribly huge, but they're *everywhere.*]
Pope Cipurr: alright then
pionoplayer: Shoot it in the face.
Bill Cipher: [You shoot the CHERUBIM in the face. The CHERUBIM dodges.]
pionoplayer: Oh
pionoplayer: Crap
pionoplayer: It dodged a machine gun?
Bill Cipher: [The other three CHERUBIM quickly rush into the way, flinging their SWORDS in front of you, above you, and below you.]
pionoplayer: Or is the turret gun not a gun from a turret?
Bill Cipher: [You ripped the TURRET GUN from an APERTURE SCIENCE TURRET.]
pionoplayer: So, it dodged a machine gun? Suddenly it crashing into the spikes seems a lot less plausible but okay.
Bill Cipher: [> Please input commands. <]
pionoplayer: >Move sideways instead while using another attack... more bullets? They can't keep dodging forever. If one of them gets too close, cut them in half.
Bill Cipher: [You dodge sideways, but the fourth CHERUBIM was anticipating this, and raises their SWORD to strike. You quickly draw the HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER and cut them in half. That leaves three.]
Bill Cipher: [> Please input commands. <]
Nomble: Are the Cherubims close together?
Bill Cipher: [They are all floating in roughly the same location.]
Nomble: >Fly up, divebomb one of them with the HLD and immediately float back upwards.
Bill Cipher: [You do so, and immediately fly away. The other two CHERUBIMS quickly fly backwards, hissing.]
Bill Cipher: [They both land on the ARENA PLATFORM and begin to dance spastically.]
Bill Cipher: [Both of their SKULLS shatter. They fall over.]
Nomble: uhh
pionoplayer: Got any explosives or ot-
pionoplayer: Uhh...
pionoplayer: I guess we won?
Bill Cipher: [CHERRY and LIME FIRE rages on top of their bodies.]
Pope Cipurr: oh
Pope Cipurr: ...
Bill Cipher: [A ghostly INFERNAL rises from the literal ashes.]
PB: ...
Erelye: Ijlco, o spirit of ash. We praise thee.
Bill Cipher: [You momentarily contemplate praising the INFERNAL but decide against it.]
Pope Cipurr: attempt to divert the ink into the infernal
Bill Cipher: [You can't move INK! You are only resistant to it.]
Pope Cipurr: dang
Pope Cipurr: >experimentally slash the ink
Bill Cipher: [You slash the INK with your HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER. The blade boils whatever INK it touches, creating noxious black smoke that you quickly back away from. The INFERNAL looks reviled.]
Pope Cipurr: hm, alright then
Pope Cipurr: whatever, shoot at the infernal
Bill Cipher: [You shoot at the INFERNAL. Being made of fire, its flames just burn somewhere else, avoiding the bullets entirely.]
Pope Cipurr: that's what i figured..
Pope Cipurr: how far is it
Bill Cipher: [It is fairly close to you. You can feel the heat radiating off of it.]
Pope Cipurr: cut it
Bill Cipher: [You slice through the INFERNAL with the HYPER LIGHT DRIFTER, inflicting real pain and chopping an arm off. The INFERNAL howls, breathing a column of fire at you.]
pionoplayer: Just dodge out of the way
Bill Cipher: [You DRIFT.]
Bill Cipher: ((should I continue this some other time))
pionoplayer: Such would be my guess
pionoplayer: When *I'm* the only one playing, you know it's bad.
Bill Cipher: alright then