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Elohemian

Unforeseen Consequences - A harmonious advice.

Apr 11th, 2018
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  1. >Ahhh! Isn’t this nice, Eris? We’re finally out of that horrible, boring factory! Too bad this ain’t that cool, either. I mean, yeah, it’s an improvement, but this hotel room is just so bland!
  2. >DUH! Of course it looks bad! You gotta how bad the griffon kingdom was in the show. I bet this cheap-looking room is the best that Luna and the dork could get.
  3. >Tee-Hee, I remember that episode! I bet it was more expensive than renting a penthouse in Las Pegasus! I still don’t get why the owners thought it’s a good idea to all of those sheets with numbers and diagrams on the walls tho.
  4. >Maybe is because it’s cheaper than real wallpapers? WAIT! NO! You ain’t dragging me into your stupid games! I came here for the dork! Not to bash onto crappy decorations!
  5.  
  6. >Awwww! But I was having fun! Besides, is not like the dork is here, we can do whatever we want for now!
  7. >What are you talking about?! He’s right there!
  8. >Where? I don’t see the lil’ fella, but y’know what I see? Tons of boring things we can improve with chaos!
  9. >You stupid air-headed bimbo! The dork is sitting at that desk over the window! For Pete’s sake! He’s the only pony in this stupid small hotel room! How could you miss him?! Those goggles on his head ain’t exactly subtle, y’know?!
  10. >Oooooh! You’re right! Guess all those books and papers and boring stuff he has on that desk made me miss him, and… D’aww! Look at him! He looks so adorable when he’s all focused in work and stuff!
  11. >Adorable? Dude, you’re seriously blind. The dork looks like he’s about to collapse. Seriously, I’ve never seen him this tired before.
  12.  
  13. >Who cares?! Let’s go and pinch his cheeks! Maybe I can play a little with those goggles he always wears for some reason!
  14. >Uh… wait wouldn’t be a good idea Starlight too? Y’know, so she can give the dork all the boring details about what kind of magic Accord is using and all that?
  15. >Nah! She would just say something stupid, besides, look at her! Don’t you think she looks so happy floating around in that invisible state, without being able to be heard?
  16. >No, not really, she looks like she’s about to murder me, but… I ain’t half wrong. Starlight would only make the dork even more stressed than what he’s right now, and I seriously don’t want that to happen.
  17. >Getting a little too caring, are we?
  18.  
  19. >What did you expect?! He’s my little brother, if there’s anypony who cares, then that’s me. So shut up! And lemme do the talking!
  20. >A’ight, but dontcha dare to do it without style!
  21. >Of course I won’t, you bimbo-head! I’m Eris and style is my game.
  22. “Doing homework at these hour? Geez, dork, and here I thought that all the time you spent with Rainbow had teach you how to chill out”
  23. >“AAAAAAAAH!” Whoopsie! That totally wasn’t the reaction I wanted. Hope he didn’t hurt himself when he fell from that chair.
  24. >What are you talking about?! It was great! He jumped so high I thought he was gonna break the ceiling! Now, whaddya say if…
  25. >Shut up! I ain’t gonna mess with him this time! Besides, he already got up on his hooves.
  26. >“Eris? What are you… doing here? Hnng!” Dude, he’s more messed up than what I thought
  27. “What does it look like? I just came to see my favorite little dork… and maybe laugh at Purple for a bit.”
  28.  
  29. >“I see…” And… he just got back up to his chair and continued working on those papers. “Well, Eris, sucks to be you, because that’s simply not going to happen. I don’t want to be rude, but I really need to learn about these taxes… and more coffee, so if you excuse me, I gotta get back to work.”
  30. >The dork is doing taxes? What?! Hold up! I know what’s happening and it totally sucks! Accord already got his way with him!
  31. >Don’t be stupid! I would be getting another round of shocks if Accord and his brats had already conquered Equestria. Nope, this is just the dork trying to solve whatever problem Purple got in.
  32. >Who cares?! We ain’t getting any help if he keeps his eyes on that boring math garbage! You gotta do something, dude!
  33. >I know! I ain’t stupid like you! I already got the perfect way to calm him down AND get the dork outta those papers for bit.
  34. >Really?! Tell me, are you gonna summon a giant tornado that will make the boring math to go away?! Oh! I know! You’re gonna swap those books for a giant swarm of bunnies!
  35.  
  36. >Nope, I’m gonna give him a little massage, and that’s it. Simple and clean, a perfect stylish workaround if you ask me.
  37. >Laaaame!
  38. >The only lame-o here is your brain! So shut up and lemme work my magic!
  39. “Working this much is gonna put some serious wrinkles in your cute face, dork. You’re lucky tho. ‘Cuz your big sister is here to help you with that problem!”
  40. >“C’mon, man! Can’t you see I’m…? I’m… ooooh! That’s the spot!” See? He just melted like butter under my cute paw! “Dang it! What do you want?!”
  41. >He just slapped the cute paw away, dude.
  42.  
  43. >Yep, but that was the plan anyway. ‘Cuz you see, I actually got his attention now.
  44. “Is that how you treat a lady? You seriously need to learn some manners before you make me mad… But a’ight, I’m cool and I’ll let it pass this time, ‘cuz I need some help with an itty-bitty problem.”
  45. >“Now this is weird, I know you too darn well Eris, and you’re not the type to ask for help from anyone. Hmmm…” D’awww! Look at him! He’s just so adorable when he goes deep in thought! Bet he’s thinking on getting another massage!
  46. >Nah! The dork ain’t stupid. Trust me, he must’ve already deduced a whole lot of things with what I just said.
  47. >“Okay, Eris. We both know that you’re lying, this isn’t a small problem otherwise you wouldn’t be here in the first place since you could’ve fixed it with your powers. So tell me what’s going and why you came to me instead of my uncle.”
  48. >Dude, is it just me, or the dork just went full Celestia there?
  49.  
  50. >Of course he did! He’s her son! What did you expect?
  51. >It’s still kinda creepy tho.
  52. >Just wait and see, dude. There’s a reason why this dork out played Chrysalis at every front.
  53. “I can’t hide anything from you, can I, dork? A’ight, I’ll explain everything and won’t sugarcoat any detail. I’ll give you a warning tho. This ain’t gonna be pretty… but you’re probably the only pony who can help me out here.”
  54. >“You don’t need to tell me things I already know. It’s obvious that there’s no one else who can get you out of this problem except for me” Oh… he’s already going smug on me.
  55. “Uh-Huh… you already know, sure. So why did you ask me to tell you the reason of…”
  56. >“Because I wanted to hear those words coming from your mouth. Now sis, before you get angry at my super cool ruse, why don’t you tell me the whole story? Because I’ve got a feeling that we’re working against time.”
  57.  
  58. >I swear, if this was any other day, I’d teach that little colt to not interrupt a lady when she’s speaking! Maybe I can turn that little poo-eating grin he has on his cute face into…
  59. >Forget it, dude. I need the dork in full power and that means having to endure his annoying smugness… besides, he ain’t wrong, the clock is ticking.
  60. “Okay, dork, this is the situation, the white crazy laser horse sent me on a mission to investigate a giant factory that had appeared outta nowhere near…”
  61. >Dude, are you seriously gonna cut out my super bombastic recap?! That’s just lame!
  62. >Duh! I hate big exposition dumps! Besides, I already know what happened! No need to backtrack.
  63. >I know… but is still lame.
  64. “… That’s when I used the last magic I had to teleport me and Motley here, and that’s pretty much it.”
  65.  
  66. >“I’m not going to lie to you, Eris. That’s… That’s a pretty messed up situation you got there… uh… where’s Glimmer by the way?” Dude! Look at the dork! He’s so calm even after hearing all of that!
  67. >He’s not tho.
  68. “Oh! You can’t see or hear her ‘cuz I made tied Motley up and made her invisible. She must be floating all around this cheap room.”
  69. >“I see… well, then, that’s a problem less to worry about.” WHAT?! And you say I’m the blind one?! Come on, dude! Just look at him! He didn’t even flinch!
  70. >Just trust me on this one. The dork was totally freaking out, is just that he’s very good at not showing it.
  71. >Dude, that’s actually kinda cool… hold up… if he’s crashing and burning as hard as you say, then how he can pull off that calm act?
  72. >I dunno, royal training or something. Lemme tell you another secret about the dork. Do you see how he just did that exhaling and inhaling thing?
  73.  
  74. >Yes, it was annoying. What about it?
  75. >That means the dork is calm again. Now, another lesson in dorkology 101. Do you see that warm smile he does without realizing it?
  76. >Yeah, dude. It kinda feels like what Celestia did, a little too much, no wait! Is exactly like Celestia! Whoa! Talk about creepy!
  77. >That’s not the point, you stupid bimbo! Listen, when the dork smiles like that, it means he just came up with a plan… a good one, not the crappy plans that always backfire.
  78. >What are you waiting then?! Ask him how he’s gonna get us out of this trash-fire!
  79. “Don’t leave your big sister hanging, dork! Tell me how you plan to kick Accord’s butt! Oh! And the Anons too! I hate those brats with a burning passion!”
  80. >He chuckled? Why did he chuckle?! “Me? Eris, you’re getting the wrong idea here. I can’t really do anything in this situation. The only one who can bring Harmony Inc. down is you. Well, and Discord, but I’m sure you’d rather be thrown into a volcano than asking him for help”
  81. >WHAT?!
  82. >WHAT?!
  83.  
  84. “WHAT?! C’mon, dork! I ain’t in the mood for jokes!”
  85. >“I’m seriously not joking, Eris. There’s only one thing that can stop Accord and those bootleg versions of me, and that is chaos. The last time I checked, you were supposed to be a spirit in that.”
  86. >Did I hear that right or I’m just crazier than usual? Like, did the dork just shot me down with a smug grin?! ‘Cuz if he did that… then there ain’t nopony in this world that can’t stop me from chaos his butt up!
  87. >You ain’t gonna do anything like that to the dork. Y’know, maybe he didn’t hear my incredibly detailed explanation. I JUST NEED TO EXPLAIN IT AGAIN SO THE DORK CAN KNOW WHY HE’S BEING SO STUPID!
  88. “Did you fall asleep while I was explaining?! I said they’re using the elements of harmony! The entire stupid company runs on harmony! That’s why I came to you in the first place! Because your talent is supposed to be harmony!”
  89.  
  90. >“Calm down, Eris and let me explain.”
  91. >Oooh… he rolled his eyes at me… that’s it, good Eris is outta this one, dude. He’s gonna hear me and gonna do it good!
  92. “DON’T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN! I’VE BEEN GETTING SHOCKS ALL DAY! Do you’ve any idea what will happen to me if I go back there?! I’m gonna get turned into stone, or banished into nothing or get brainwashed again!”
  93. >“Eris, that’s not going to…”
  94. “And you know what will happen when I get brainwashed? I’m gonna get an office job! Can you imagine that?! Me! A spirit of chaos working a lame job! That’s just not right, dude! Like, it ain’t natural!”
  95. >“Eris, listen, I know how…”
  96. “Oh no! What if it’s worse?! What if they make me work as a janitor or… or … AAAAH! What if Accord decides to adopt me?! I bet he would make me wear some stupid dress and call him father! Eww! Eww! Eww!”
  97. >“Eris, maybe if you let me…”
  98. “And I can’t believe you ain’t willing to help me! Seriously, dude! The one time I decided to ask my little brother for some help and he decides to…”
  99.  
  100. >“ERIS, YOU INCOMPETENT FOOL! BE STILL AND LET ME EXPLAIN THE PLAN!”
  101. >What the heck was that, dude? Is like, the dork swallowed a megaphone or something! And what was up with the white glowy eyes? I’m telling you dude, the dork is creepy.
  102. >Ugh! How stupid can you be?! The dork just used the royal Canterlot voice, that thing is even in the show!
  103. >Oh, right! That was like… second season stuff or something. How can the dork pull that off tho?
  104. >He totally picked that from Luna. Look, his eyes even glowed white like Luna’s during the episode. Whatever, I already finished venting off.
  105. “Sorry. Needed to get that outta my system. I’ve been having a specially craptastic day, y’know?”
  106.  
  107. >“I understand, Eris. Sorry for using the voice. I just can’t control the darn thing when I get angry. Is just… well… my day hasn’t
  108. been super awesome either, and a good chunk of tomorrow is guaranteed to suck”
  109. >Look at how cute he looks when he’s sorry! I just love it! C’mon! Lemme pinch one of his cheeks! It’ll be just for a sec, I promise!
  110. >MMM! That sounds tempting and the dork is really cute when he has his sowy face… maybe just a lil’ pinch… Wait, NO! You ain’t fooling me this time! I know you will go overboard! That’s what you always do!
  111. >Dude, you totally suck.
  112. >Nope! I just ain’t falling for your tricks again!
  113. “Aww! Don’t think like that! Think more like, if I screw this up, then tomorrow will suck for everypony in the whole wide world! And then, every single day for the rest of our lives will be miserable!”
  114. >“Alright, I get it already! Don’t need to be so frickin’ annoying about it! Listen, as I already said, I can’t do anything to physically help you because the only thing that can stop Accord is chaos.”
  115. “But…”
  116.  
  117. >“LET ME FINISH!” Geez dude, the dork gotta chill down that stupid voice! “Okay, so the reason for that is because despite the name, Harmony Inc. doesn’t really operate under harmony. They use order, which is a different thing.”
  118. >Dude, I think he’s just dumb.
  119. >Nah, he just ain’t getting it right.
  120. “Uh-Huh… so explain to me, dork. If Accord and the brats ain’t using harmony, how comes they can use the elements better than Purple and her gang?”
  121. >“Because as I learned after getting my cutie mark and kicking Glimmer’s fat flank. The elements are tools that are meant to bring order, that’s why Glimmer and Accord could use them at will. Because they were seeking order and nothing else.”
  122. >I know I ain’t the brightest bulb in the series, but… I really didn’t get that part.
  123. >Don’t worry… that’s kinda normal when it comes to him. Just… lemme do the talking and we’ll get through this.
  124. “Then… what? Seriously, dork, I ain’t understanding a word you’re saying”
  125. >“I know it’s hard to understand, but… uh… you’ll have to bear with me on this one. Harmony is much more complex and nuanced than a simple magical blast. It’s a system that we all are part of, and it needs a proper balance of both order and chaos. Uh… you hang around with Fluttershy a lot, right? Maybe you’ll get this example. What would happen to a forest if it was always in order?”
  126.  
  127. >He wants ME, to answer that?! You gotta be kidding me!
  128. >I know! This went from confusing philosophy to a boring ecology class.
  129. “Why are you asking me that?! Y’know I never pay attention to any of that stuff she says!”
  130. >“Dang it! I should’ve seen this one coming!” D’aww! He’s so cute when he sighs like that! “The answer is… the forest dies off. Why? Well, because without any variance whatsoever, the system becomes stale and life cannot continue because of that. The same happens if you have too much chaos, without any sort of order, then the forest couldn’t exist either.”
  131. “That sounds cool and all, but… dunno, dork. Nothing in that massive factory was really dead, it was boring and awful, sure, but I didn’t saw a massive graveyard or anything like that.”
  132. >“Maybe not the factory itself, but this is the thing. Do you really think that… no, wait, I’m sure Accord would be that stupid…” HAH! Look who’s scratching his head now! “Err… okay! If the Anons actually have a brain, then they wouldn’t risk their entire company the way they are doing it right now.”
  133. “And what’s this risk you’re talking about?”
  134.  
  135. >“Making a massive factory to pop out of nowhere brings attention, a lot of it. Yeah, they can use the elements, but they can’t do it on the same level of power as Twilight and her friends. Accord uses order to fuel the elements while our awesome six heroes do it with some of the most important core values to maintain harmony. Accord has no chance to win against that and I’m willing to bet my entire Power Ponies collection that he knows it.”
  136. “Okay, dork. I’m all ears, if this was the stupidest move they could’ve made. Then why did they do it in the first place?”
  137. >“Well… uh… Accord said something about having to expand his company, because they couldn’t grow anymore if he stuck with his world, right?”
  138. “Right”
  139. >“Okay, so imagine that Accord’s world is like the forest from my example. Everything became stale, so… uh… man, this is going to get really grim, Harmony Inc. doesn’t need to expand just to spread order across dimensions. It needs to expand because there’s no option left.”
  140. >Dude… I really don’t like where this is going.
  141. >Sucks to be you, ‘cuz we just got into that place, and the ride doesn’t seem to have any breaks.
  142. “So you’re telling me that Equestria is… y’know… gone forever?”
  143.  
  144. >“Or is in the process to. Whatever the case ends up being, I’m sure that the Accord and the Anons are doing this conquest plan out of desperation.”
  145. “Gotta give it to you, dork. Now you actually made me feel bad for the jerks who have been tasing me all day long! Bravo! What am I supposed to do now? Send that factory back so everypony from that world dies horribly instead of us?!”
  146. >“Oh, sweet mother of science! Of course not! Uh… I think I should’ve started with this, but… uh… listen, the magic of the elements can be reversed. Look at my uncle if you don’t believe me. Those things turned him into stone, but my mom told me that they also freed him from that.”
  147. “Dork, I dunno if you’ve realized this but, there’s a huge, and I mean, HUGE difference between un-stoning a senile old man and making an entire world to come back from the grave.”
  148. >“The horrible state that Accord’s world is in was caused mostly by the elements’ magic, so I’m pretty sure that can be reversed too… kinda…uh… the thing is, you won’t get anything done if you try your luck with Accord or my knockoff versions.”
  149.  
  150. “I already know that! Wanna know why? ‘Cuz they have been giving me shocks every time I’ve tried to kick their saggy butts!”
  151. >“Well, t-that’s a good reason, but not the one I had in mind. Uh… Eris, I’m going to ask you a question that my mom Celestia gave me during a match of chess that I totally won. What’s the most important part of a kingdom? The rulers or the subjects?”
  152. >Dude, he totally lost that match.
  153. >You’re wrong like always! The dork didn’t just lose, he got his butt stomped before he could even know what happened!
  154. “Pfft! What kinda question is that? The ones calling the shots of course! They’re the ones who have all the power, and in these parts, that’s a literal thing.”
  155. >“Nope, you’re wrong!” Geez! No need to shake your head that hard, dork! “The subjects are the most important element of the kingdom because without them, there’s no kingdom. The rulers serve the subjects, not the other way around. That’s something that Accord and his two mini-me don’t understand and that you will make them learn the hard way”
  156. “A’ight, dork. I see where you’re going with this. You want me to go back to that factory, and spread my cute chaos around the working folk… That’s cool! Just a little problem… HOW AM I GONNA AVOID GETTING SHOCKED AGAIN?!”
  157.  
  158. >“Well, you have Glimmer on your side, right?” Oh, there’s the smug grin again! “I bet she can stall Accord long enough for you to make everyone in that factory-world-whatever to remember that being spontaneous, random and a little chaotic is totally fine.”
  159. “Uh-Huh! Because that’s so easy to do and I totally know where to start!”
  160. >“Oh, that’s easy!” How does he dare to say it’s easy and shrug like that! Don’t he know who’s he talking to?! “Start with the alternate version of my moms.”
  161. >He wants to be that smug with me?! Fine! I can play dirty!
  162. “And what about the chess thing that you lost miserably?”
  163.  
  164. >“I totally won that match!” Nyehehe! Look how he blushed! He totally got his butt kicked! “Is just that my mom Celestia cheats! A-Anyway, my mom Luna has told me a whole lot of times that the role of a leader is to guide ponies when they’re lost, and trust me, my moms are the best at that. Like seriously, I can’t even compare to how cool my moms are when it comes to leading and guiding others.”
  165. >That’s right! You ain’t on the level of C-Tia or Luna! So…
  166. >Dude, shut up before I actually hurt you.
  167. >What? I just said…
  168. >Don’t go in there, just… don’t, or I’ll get really angry and trust me pal, you don’t want to see that.
  169.  
  170. >Alright, alright I’m gonna shut up! Geez!
  171. >You better this time. ‘Cuz I don’t want to hear your stupid voice while I actually take care of my little brother.
  172. “I think you’re speaking too soon, my little brother. But alright, I’m gonna take your advice and do exactly that… I just hope is not too late… and that I don’t mess up.”
  173. >“Nah! Don’t worry about that! I’m the one who always screws everything up! You on the other hoof, are the cool big sis who can do anything! Now, go there, and show Accord and those low-quality copies of me who’s boss!”
  174. >Dang it dork… don’t say that, please, I don’t want to see you like that.
  175. “I… I will, take care dork…”
  176. >Okay… I already gave him a little so long kiss on his cheek, maybe that will make him feel better. I gotta go back to that factory and deal with Accord and the Anons and… darn it, I’m a terrible big sister.
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