Can You Find All The Symbols Pastebiners?

FUCK! How could I lose? I grinded all week to try and rank up, but NO! I just can’t win. I’m in space, which is cool I guess. My name is Juan, no it's actually Jose. Just kidding it's not. It's actually john. Yes, that is a good name. I am in space and I’m super bored, so I’m playing this fun game called counter strike. Sadly, the internet service is pretty bad in space, I have a minimum of six hundred million ping do to the pathetically slow speed of light. The ping continues to increase too, as I move further and further into the deep abyss. what a fucking disaster. These expert bots though, damn they are a pain in the ass. Fuck them. I am in space because I’m fucking insane. I decided that Earth sucked, so I left. I put on a ninja suit, grabbed some shurikens and a body pillow, snuck into NASA, and said Sayonara suckers as I blasted into space, duck taped naked to the tip of the rocket. Well, you might ask, how did I survive the brutal 50,000 degree temperatures caused by accelerating so quickly in Earth’s atmosphere? Well, that’s because I didn’t fly into space duck taped naked to a spaceship. Actually, I’m still on Earth. Well, I’m not, I’m definitely in space. Yeah, I’m still in space. Still the never ending blackness. Still the six hundred million ping. Still the buttclenching matches against expert bots to which I always lose. In truth, I’m an astronaut. Well, I’m not, but technically I am because I’m in space. Space is overrated as fuck thou. It’s very boring. The stars are beautiful, but you can only look at a painting so long before it becomes boring. I’ve been in space for 100 trillion years. Still can’t grow a full beard though, which is sad. I wonder if there are any space babes. They probably wouldn't like me anyway. Well, I guess it’s time to go to bed. Except that, I don’t go to bed, because I’m insane. Yes, insane people do not go to bed. FUCK! I just got juan deaged by this damn expert bot. Fuck the expert bots. Ok, enough intro. Here is my story.
    My name is Juan Jose John, but people call me triple-J. I used to be a professional full time weeaboo, but I decided to do something with my life because my favorite waifu told me to do so in the last episode of my favorite anime. However, since I was so goddamn fat from sitting in front of my computer all day, I couldn’t get up from my seat. My solution to this, was learning to be productive at my computer! This plan quickly failed, as I just ended up watching more anime. After about 9001 years of this cycle, I was kidnapped. No joke! I’m joking, I willingly let the aliens take me. The only problem, is that they weren’t aliens. It was humans. They took me, and locked me in a box. Next thing I know, I’m in fucking space. Fucking space, who would have guessed amiright? Well, it was legit at first, I once watched an anime where they went to space. But the problem was, space fucking sucks. I used to be sane, but after the first hundred trillion millenia, my brain became completely and utterly dysfunctional. Why am I even writing this? Even if some alien babes find it, how the fuck are they going to translate it to their own language from my already vague and meaningless prose. Maybe I should study, and learn astrophysics and space physics, and boob physics, and find away to turn this goddamn hunk of galvanized metal around; back to earth, back to… Anime :). Or, maybe I should learn psychology, and sociology, and insanology, so that I can cure my fucked up mind. It must be something in the weird white paste I eat everyday. Or maybe the fumes from my piss which disappears into this little vacuum and most likely is turned back into that white paste. I’m fucking done with this, I don’t have any purpose, I’m going through the airlock. Give me all you got you damn infinite, stupid, void of nothingness that did I mention is infinite? It never ends, I just keep going. The kek meter says I’m going about 300 jimminies per nanosecond, which is pretty cool except for the part WHERE I DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK A JIMMINY IS. Just kidding, I’m going ~100,000 mph currently. xAt least, that’s what George told me. Oh, I haven’t introduced you to George yet? Wow, and you thought I was on the spaceship all alone this whole time? Don’t you think I would have gone insane if I was alone for that long, silly child! No no no, George has been here every step of the way. Well, actually I only found him yesterday, but he gives very good company. He is the on-board talky machine, kind of like Siri or Alexa--or Amazon Echo if you’re that kind of person. He is very nice, and the best part about him is that he never lies, Never! Not once will he ever say something that isn’t 100% the truth, like how fast I’m going, or how long I’ve been on the spaceship. “Say George, how long have I been on this spaceship?”
	“My name is Tom, and you have been in this spaceship for 1638 days, 13 hours, 58 minutes, 10 seconds, 142 milliseconds, 75-”
	“OK! I GET IT! I’ve been here a long time… George!”
	“Yes Timothy?”
	“When will I reach my destination”
	“You have no destination Timothy.”
	“When will I reach the next celestial object?”
	“The closest you will be to a celestial object in the next billion years will be when you are one and a half light years from V528 Carinae. This will happen in approximately 225,818,100 years, 6 days, 23 hours, 12 minutes, 2 sec-”
	“OK! Goddamn you annoying shit, I GET IT alright? Christ lord! *sigh*... two hundred million years… George, is there any habitable planets at Carinae?
	“Given that V528 Carinae is one of the largest and hottest stars known to mankind, any nearby planets would have already been incinerated, and the vast amount of ultraviolet waves emitted from the red supergiant would rip any water or atsmo-”
	“FUCKIN HELL! You don’t have to go into so much detail, it was just a yes or no question fucking George! OK?”
	“Whatever you say Timothy, It is possible for me to only answer yes or no questions if you would like me to, but I would strongly advise against it as such a setting will severely lower my ability to hel-”
	“GODDAMNIT! There you go again! Fuck! Just turn yourself off ok? Y
You never do anything helpful for me anyway. You’re useless, you stupid sack of shit.” I’m sorry I introduced you to that asshole, he hasn’t actually given me any comfort at all on my trip. My body pillow, Osaku-Chan, on the other hand, grants me much more comfort! Except that she killed herself three days after the launch from Earth. Poor bastard, she didn’t want to eat all the rations on board, and make me starve twice as fast, so she ejected herself outside the airlock. She was so sweet, everything that was good and true crumbed after she left. Goddamnit. Why is God so cruel… I have a confession to make. Osaku-Chan didn’t eject herself out the airlock… It was me. I’m sorry, please don’t tell the police! She was a bitch anyway! And, she was a fucking hog! That swine ate like twelve times as much as I did, killing her was the only way I could continue the mission without starving. Goddamn I’m glad she’s gone too, her and her fucking orgasm moans. Fuckin hell, she couldn’t even hold a simple conversation without letting out a ten-second moan. Fuck her… I didn’t actually eject her out the airlock… In fact, she’s still inside deep storage. But I never want to see her again, so she can stay there until she rots. I did give her some food, but it probably ran out months ago. That’ll teach her. HA! If there was an airlock on this ship, I would have ejected her out of it in as quickly as I could! Ha. If there was an airlock on this ship… I would have… ejected… myself… years ago… “George, is there any way for me to kill myself, without subjecting myself to pain?”
	“My name is Tom, and your spacesuit has been specially designed to keep you from killing yourself”
“Why George?”
“My name is Tom.”
“George, what happens if I stop eating?”
“My name is Tom.”
“George, your name is George.”
“My name is Tom.”
“You already said that George.”
“I have said it three times today, and four hund-”
“GEORGE! Why am I alive…”
“...”
“George…” *sob* I can’t talk right now. *sniff* George always makes me depressed. Stupid, fucking, dumb… machine. He doesn’t know what it's like to be human, he doesn’t know pain. No one knows pain, like I do. Maybe Osaku-Chan can make me feel better. If only I could remember the passcode to the deep storage. Is it “69” perhaps? Oh wow! It is, I’m a god! Maybe I should become a professional hacker! A space-hacker… Now that sounds badass. Why did I open storage again? I don’t remember, I guess I should go to bed.
“Frederick-S-a-a-a-a-n!”
	“Who the hell is that!”
	“FREDERICK-SAN! Help me! I’m stuck in this whole Frederick-San, please help me out! Ooo-o-ooh, Frederick Sa-”
	“NO, stop it you bitch, stop the moaning or I’ll never let you out again!”
	“Ooo-oo-ok! I’ll stop moaning Frederick-San! Please let me out and play with me!”
	“Well, it has been a long time since I had fun, maybe you could actually make me feel better Osaku-Chan!”
	“There is nothing Osaku want more in the world Freder-”
	“Yeah I get it, your only purpose is to make me happy, here I’ll get you out of there.”
	“Thanks Frederick-San! Osaku knew you would play with her eventually!”
	“How did you not starve?”
	“Oh, Osaku don’t eat much Frederick-San, I want to lose weight so you will love me even m-”
	“Oh please, don’t make me barf. All I want from you, is a ordinary conversation, alright? Does that sound too hard?”
	“Anything for you Frederi-”
	“Ok sweet, this might actually work! So, how was your day today”
“It was great Frederick-San, Osaku thought about you all day!”
“Awesome. So, do you want to play some chess? Or maybe tell a story? Or maybe talk about philisophy, or maybe give me a purpose to be a live in this godforsaken well of darkness?”
“Do you want to cuddle Frederick-San, Osaku can make you feel real good.”
“NO I don’t want to cuddle, so don’t ask me ever again. Just, just grant me a little bit of satisfaction. Just the tiniest feeling, that my life is meaningful, and that someone really cares about me. Someone really…”
“Osaku loves you Frederick-San. Here, let me give you a shoulder rub. Do you like that?
“I DON’T WANT A SHOUL- Ahh, yeah. Right there. Wow, this doesn’t feel to bad to be honest. I guess I have been a little tense lately, Yeah… No, don’t try to take my shirt off.”
“But then the massage will feel better for Frederick-San!”
“I don’t care ok!”
“Why can’t Frederick-San trust Osaku just this once!”
“Because you are a fucking… You know what, fine. I’ll trust you! Try and make me feel better.”
“Thank you Frederick-San! Osaku always dreamed of this moment! Don’t worry, Osaku will make you feel better than you ever have in your entire life!”

I threw her out the airlock. I let her do whatever she wanted, and to be honest, it felt good. But, it grew old very quick. And after it was over, I felt empty inside, like I had been completely miserable the entire time with her. She’s really dead now, I’ll never see her again. I’m embarrassed that I ever liked her. She really is just trash. In every way, shape, and form, she is quite literally just a piece of trash. At least I have Asaena-Chan to comfort me. Except that I don’t actually have her. She is much better than Osaku-Chan, but she costs thirteen fucking dollars on Amazon. Like what the fuck? A pillow that costs thirteen dollars, what a bunch of bullshit. Well, I bought her, too late to go back now. The little Amazon drones get here so fast, it’s honestly amazing. What a marvel of human engineering! Oh god, here we go. Unboxing is the best part! YES! It’s so beautiful, I could almost cry. “Hello Asaena-Chan, my name is Anthony! I’m your biggest fan”
“...”
“You aren’t much of a talker I see? That’s ok, I’m sure you shine in other areas” *double eyebrow raise*
“...”
“Can you do anything? Anything?
“...”
“I guess, they are all the same in the end huh.” I threw Asaena out the airlock as well. Well, actually I put her in deep storage. For some weird innate reason, I convinced myself that killing her was a bad idea. I couldn’t imagine a reason not to kill her. Whatever, she’s a bitch and death isn’t punishment enough for her. Yeah, she’s in deep storage so she can feel what it’s like to suffer. Maybe then she will relate with me and be able to talk to… No, I’ve learned by now. They don’t talk. No one talks. Every single one of them is just a piece of trash that was molded into something shiny. In the end, it's still just a piece of trash… Wow, I went on a huge tangent there. It was so enormous, that you might have forgotten that I’M IN FUCKING SPACE! Yeah, that’s right, who would have guessed? I’m sorry, I know that’s getting old. For some reason I hold on to that phrase. Maybe because FUCKING SPACE sounds cool or funny or something. I really just want to die if you want to know the truth. I wish I could die. Then I could escape fucking space.
I’ve finally done it. I made it to Carinae. It’s very big and very red and very hot. But, it’s infinitely better than FUCKING SPACE. The star acts very weirdly; it pulsates about twice every second, almost like a balloon being put in a vacuum chamber and expanding, then put into a cylinder of compressed air and shrinking, twice every second. The star doesn’t actually do that, in reality, it's just a stupid FUCKING STAR. I’ve pointed the spaceship directly at the center of it. I’m going all in; I’m becoming one with the star, letting go of everything. This is the end, or maybe, it is the beginning? It’s too hot to write now, it’s at least 200 degrees in here. “George, how hot is it in here?”
“72 Degrees Timothy.”
“WOW! 300 degrees! That’s even hotter than I expected! I guess this is our last moment together, goodbye George. I love you... Just kidding I fucking hate you, you stupid cunt!”
“Thank you Timothy.”

	I’m in a hospital. Wow, this is odd; it is strangely similar to my spaceship, but all the walls are purple, and I’m hooked up to an IV. I can hear a weird pulsing, happening about 2 times per second. My heart is beginning to race, but the heart monitor says I’m dead. I hear something… Footsteps! There is someone here, am I back on Earth? Did someone save me! Here they come, oh God I’m saved! This will cure all my pain, all my suffering, all my loneliness: another human being!
	“Hello Ollie”
	“Holy shit! Why do you have purple skin!”
	“All Zirgs have purple skin silly,” she smiled
	“What the fuck is a Zirg, goddamn you’re hot!”
	“Oh, it seems they transported you to the wrong hospital, haha, The mental hospital has a very simil-”
	“I’M NOT FUCKING INSANE GODDAMNIT YOU FUCKING BI- I’m sorry, I just got a bit excited, haha. I’m not insane, I just am a little bit psychotic, that’s all!
	“Oh don’t apologize, it’s ok to be insa-
	“But I didn’t apologize!”
	“Would you stop interrupting me? Anyway, your spaceship is outside, and seeing that you are doing just fine, you can leave whenever you want.”
	“But I don’t to go back to my spaceship, that place is too… real.”
	“What do you mean? You think that bed is any better?”
	“Did you get plastic surgery? You know, for your gigantic… personality? Both of them.”
	“Are you a pervert as well as a maniac?”
	“Are you a escort as well as a nurse?”
	“I’m a doctor, and I think I’ve have quite enough of you, just leave whenever you like, bye.”
	“WAIT! Don’t leave me… I don’t know what I’ll do if you leave. I’m sorry I’ve been rude, I just have been on that spaceship for almost a hundred years now. Try to imagine being alone for one hundred years… For the first time, I get to see a fellow hum- ahem, zirg. Just hearing your voice is enough for me be happy forever.”
	“Haha, I’m flattered, you think my voice is hot as well! Well, I’m sorry, although you're my type, I’m not interested in having a relationship right now.”
	“I’M NOT JOKING. That wasn’t some kind of fucking pick-up line alright! I really have been alone for one hundred- say, I’m your type? You like insane pervert aliens! Haha, that’s rich”
	“Hmph, just because we are not from the same planet, doesn’t mean I can’t like you, and besides didn’t you say you like me?”
	“Fair enough, but how do you explain the liking the insane pervert, huh?”
	“Well, I guess it’s refreshing to finally see someone who doesn’t act according the my expectations you know. I don’t know how to explain it.”
	“Are you in love with me?”
	“Wow, I really should have just shut up, goodbye for good. Try to memorize my voice which you like so much, because you’re never going to hear it again.”
	“No, NO, PLEASE DON’T LEAVE! No… no… why…” I’m alone again. I’m lying in bed… Boy does, gravity feel refreshing. Floating is overrated as fuck. Should I go find her? Wait, what am I thinking, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and all I want is some human- er, alien interaction, so I don’t need her. Yeah, I’ll just find some other patients. Hmm, this hospital is so quiet. All the walls are purple, and there are these little green pipes that run along the line where the floor meets the walls and where the walls meet the ceiling. It feels like it was made for midgets, and I have to duck in order to avoid hitting my head on the hanging signs, even though I’m only nine foot twelve. All the doors are locked, but I can’t see anyone through the little round windows which allow me to peer into the rooms. I saw another doctor, but she turned out to be a lie. How disappointing, don’t you hate when people turn out to be lies? Fuck that doctor, never liked him anyway. The other bitch sucked too… Say, where is she anyhow? I faintly remember what she looked like. The figure of an hourglass, and green skin. Kind of like Shrek™, except less orgerish. Oh god. My spaceship! What the fuck is that robotic tentacle! “OH NO!”
	“Where are you going Timothy?”
	“Oh God, get away from me!”
	“Come back Timothy, you have to accomplish your mission in space, you can’t be slacking inside this star.”
	“No, you’ll never catch me, get away you damn fiend! Go solve the mission by yourself.”
	“But Timothy, I can’t complete the mission by myself, I’m just a figment of your imagination. How is a figment supposed to pilot a spaceship?”
	“Ha! Take this!” I hit him with a fire extinguisher. It was not very effective. He used tentacle slap (kinky). It was super effective! Critical hit! I’ve fainted… Back to the spaceship I go. Back to my mission, back to the monotonous, cruel fate of being stuck in space. Oh wait! I have a max revive!
	“Haha! You thought you could beat me with one move! You are gravely mistaken! Osaku-Chan, I choose you!”
	“Oh my God, Frederick-San! I missed you so-”
	“Shut the fuck up and use fire blast bitch!”
	“Timothy stop with this, you cannot win, you must return to the ship or you won’t be able to complete your mission.”
	“Osaku-Chan, this is your moment. Goodbye Timothy… Goodbye spaceship… I’m going to live here from now on. Osaku-Chan… Use self-destruct!”
	*Boom*

	I’m officially stuck here. The spaceship has been blown to another dimension, along with half the hospital. I’m in another hospital room now, but this time, I’m actually injured. Who knew Osaku-Chan was so powerful. I’m hoping the blue bitch will show up again, her and her sass. Ahh, a lovely combo.
	“Hello again.” she said with a frown
	“Speak of the devil! I was just thinking about you!”
	“Wow, you are not even going to mention the fact that you are not just an insane perverted alien, but an insane perverted alien terrorist!”
	“Damn, that is quite the title, insane perverted alien terrorist triple-j. I like it. Also, isn’t it just as peculiar that you are here helping me despite the fact that I could have gotten you killed, and also probably killed many of your patients?”
	“You are my only patient, and I’m the only employee.”
	“What? So I didn’t kill anyone? Boring… Wait… Why would you be the only one here? Why would you…” She started to cry. I told her to come to me. I held her, and got her covered in blood. Gross. She started bawling her eyes out. Through chokes and sobs I think she was trying to tell me that she had also been alone for a very long time. Alone in this star for a very very long time. My cuts and bruises were magically healing somehow, which was nice. The blood that I was losing mixed with her yellow skin, and she looked almost human. Almost like an orange, or Donald Trump. Like a godess. “Damn, you’re beautiful.”
	“I’m sorry” *sniff* “I didn’t mean to cry. I’m sorry I said I’d never see you again. I was just joking around. I hope I didn’t crush your feelings.”
	“It’s ok, you’re here now right? You should get cleaned up, you’re all covered in blood and tears.”
	“But I don’t want to leave you.”
	“You seemed pretty eager to before!”
	“I was just shocked alright! I was so used to being alone” *sniff* “that I didn’t know how to react.”
	“Its ok, its ok. Stop sobbing you damn baby”
	“You damn handsome insane perverted alien terrorist bully.”
	“Haha, you’re hilarious you know that?”
	“Haha. Ha. I feel better know, thanks for comforting me”
	“No problem” We kissed. One thing led to another, and welp. Let’s not get into details. I want to keep this book PG. You can imagine whatever weird alien anatomy shit you want. The morning after, I woke up and she was nowhere in sight. “Hello? HELLO! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU… No way… Was it just a dream? I’m still in the hospital bed, but all my injuries are gone. I hear footsteps approaching. “Damn, where the hell did you go? You had me scared for a bit there”
	“Haha, for once you say something half-rational, the drugs were supposed to mess up your mind not improve it!”
	“What’s that supposed to mean?”
	“What? Did I say something wrong?”
	“Why are you acting like that? Did you forget what happened last night, or day, or… Say, how do you tell time when you're literally inside the sun that’s supposed to show it to you.”
	“Wow, you really are insane. And yes, I remember last night. Well, your wounds have healed, so it’s time you go on your way.”
	“...”
	“Why are you looking at me like that? Is there a spider on my face or something?”
	“You want me, to leave?”
	“Well yes, what else would you do?”
	“But, I just met you, I was planning on staying with you, living with you. Loving…”
	“What? I take back what I said about your brain getting better. Don’t you know that when Zirgs hook up with someone, they leave after? Everyone knows this silly.”
	“WHY!”
	“Because it’s in our DNA, do you really not know this? Nothing lasts silly” she smiled.
	“So, you would rather live alone for another million years, than have me to keep your company?”
	“Obviously, you should never be with someone for longer than three days, or your hormones will make you feel terrible. And it’s incredibly satisfying once they leave, complete euphoria!”
	“Why are you doing this to me. I know I’m not perfect, but you are treating me like trash. I thought you wanted me, what happened?”
	“Nothing is permanent silly, I’ve talked with Tom, and you will be leaving in about three seconds!”
	“No, NO, you can’t leave me! You can’t! My heart, I can’t breathe. I can’t, you can’t.” I was dragged back into the spaceship by George’s tentacle, flailing about with all my strength. I watched her figure get smaller and smaller. She just stood there, smiling and waving, smiling and waving. I’m leaving the giant red star, which seems to have doubled in size since I entered, and I can’t do anything. My body is completely exhausted from struggling, and my mind is a stormfury of pain and confusion. The star stopped pulsating, and is beginning to collapse in on itself. Its surface just keeps falling and falling and falling, smaller and smaller and smaller, brighter and brighter and brighter. Until, a flash of solar vibrace greater than all the gods in Heaven could ever muster. The colors of the exploding hypernova were beyond the normal spectrum of human eyes, yet I could somehow see all of them in their glorious magnificence. As space itself was torn apart, and the building blocks of life were flung into every direction at the speed of light, a miniscule figure was forming in the middle. I tiny, round, black, hole. My heart broke, and I really thought that I had died.