Kaz and Meru (P3)

"Are you just trying to torture me? Did you fail as a dark lady and figured subjecting schoolkids to your 'treatments' was the next best alternative?" Kaz had been stuck in the hospital wing for three days now. Madame Pomfrey hadn't been pleased that he'd snuck out last time, especially when she hadn't been planning to release him anyway, and he was convinced that this was punishment.

"Mr Reeds. You had some bad damage when your friend dragged you here. A broken nose, a black eye, four broken ribs... I wouldn't have believed a student did this to you if I didn't know about your relationship with Miss Snyde."

"Wait, Merula did all that? Damn, she really is feisty!"

"Take this ice pack and get going. Your injuries weren't hard to fix, but you might be a little sore." Madame Pomfrey smiled thinly, and Kaz wondered if she'd deliberately left his nose sore.

"Thanks, Madame Pomfrey. I'm sorry about your failed dark lady career."

"Just...try not to find yourself back here for at least a day, okay?"

"I make no promises." Kaz called as he left the hospital wing. He had been there twice in a single week, and both times had been because of his interactions with Merula Snyde. He hadn't realised just how easy it was to get under her skin until he'd made this bet with Rowan. Before this, he'd usually just let her throw insult after insult since he hadn't seen responding as worthwhile. Even with the increase in trips to the hospital wing, he was enjoying himself.

"Tunnel Snakes." He said clearly to the wall that was actually the entrance to the Slytherin Common Room. He wasn't sure what the significance of the password was, but the Muggleborns had found it hilarious. Every now and then Kaz had found a leather jacket left in the common room, so he'd taken to practicing charms on them. Of course, he doubted he'd ever top the time he'd set three of them on Barnaby and taken bets on when Barnaby would realise he could just throw them into the fireplace. Kaz had let this go on for over an hour before it became clear that Barnaby wasn't going to figure it out. Still, watching a man suplex an empty jacket had made for excellent entertainment, and the money Kaz had made from the bet was still supporting him weeks later.

Entering the common room, he found it surprisingly empty for a Sunday. Most of the chairs were empty, and no one was working at the study desks. Of course, he found Rowan exactly where he expected, sitting in one of the single chairs, reading. Making his way over, Kaz threw himself onto the larger couch, letting his legs dangle off the edge as usual. Rowan didn't even look up from his book.

"I see Madame Pomfrey let you out."

"Yeah, after three days. If I didn't know better, I'd assume she just wanted someone to be an unwilling test subject."

"I'm sure you could handle it. Based on what you said to Merula before she attacked you, one would almost think you liked pain."

"I'm not going to dignify that with a response. So, what actually happened? I don't remember anything after she broke my nose."

"Well, she got you good. You were down for the count after that first hit, but she wasn't finished. She started stomping you in the stomach and had just pulled out her wand before Madame Hooch got to her."

"Whoa...I didn't think she had it in her."

"I think actually getting physically assaulted is grounds to give up on the bet, don't you?"

"Hmm...Nah. My Dad always said 'The only good woman is one who can send you to the hospital.'"

"That sounds like the words of a masochist."

"No, that sounds like the words of someone with a taste for the finer things in life. So what happened to Merula? Did she get off scot free?"

"No, she lost Slytherin 30 house points and Snape's had her serving detention with him every day since. I think they were concerned she would sneak into the hospital wing to finish the job. She usually arrives back around now, actually, so you might want to clear off before she goes for round two."

"Nah, I'll take my chances." Kaz pressed the ice pack back against his nose, wincing as he did so. "Damn, she really packs a punch when she's mad."

Rowan snorted, but didn't respond. The two sat in a comfortable silence after that, at least until Kaz got bored and started conjuring pieces of paper to scrunch up and stick to the ceiling. He'd just finished sticking pieces into the shape of a snake when he heard someone enter the common room. He could tell, just from the heavy stomping sound, exactly who had entered.

"Ohhhhhhhhh, Merula?" The stomping stopped.

"Reeds. You want me to send you back to the hospital wing?"

"I'm injured. Can you come kiss it better?" The stomping resumed, this time in his direction. He didn't bother getting up, and soon enough, he could see her face, upside down from his perspective, leaning over the top of the couch leg. She was already somewhat red, and her eyes were narrowed so much they were almost slits.

"The only thing I'm kissing you with is my fist."

"That's just cruel. Can't you see I'm in pain here? I need you to work some magic on me." Kaz noticed Rowan slipping his wand out from the corner of his eye, clearly ready to stop Merula if she actually tried to attack him.

Merula, on the other hand, didn't seem to know what to say. The blush was still there, but each time he said something, her eyes would widen for a moment before narrowing again. "Damnit, Reeds, can't you leave me alone? I'll destroy you!"

"Could you truly attack someone you love?"

"I sent you to the hospital wing!"

"I hear girls attack boys because they can't deal with their feelings towards them." He reached up and patted her head. "It's okay, you know. You can tell me the truth." He smiled up at her upside-down face, which had reached tomato levels of redness again.

She jumped back, slapping his hand away. "God, Reeds, you're such an idiot!" She began storming upstairs, attempting to ignore Kaz's call from behind her.

"Wait, Merula! I'll give you a massage! They call me the God Hand!" Kaz didn't bother getting up, opting instead to look over to Rowan, who stared at him with a look of something resembling pity.

"You are really bad at this."

"Shows what you know. I'm already inside her head."

"I don't see how any of this implies that you're succeeding."

"You didn't notice? She was already blushing as soon as she heard my voice. You better get those ten Galleons ready, because soon I'm going to be all she can think about."

There was a moment of silence following Kaz's declaration. Eventually, Rowan broke it.

"Who calls you the God Hand?"

"I call me the God Hand."

"Do you know the first thing about giving a massage?"

"Actually, yes. My Mum made me take some lessons over the summer. I got pretty good at it. When I run out of money from the Barnaby incident, I'm planning to charge people a couple sickles for a massage."

"Why exactly did your mum want you doing massage lessons?"

While Kaz regaled Rowan with a story of his time learning the delicate art of massage, Merula collapsed into her bed in the dormitory. She tossed and turned, but even after hours of sorting Snape's inventory, she couldn't sleep. She knew exactly why, and it all came down to the words of the aviator-wearing maniac downstars. She could see the smile on his face as he patted her head. She could feel his breath on her ear as he whispered to her. She could even feel his nose cracking under her fist.

Try as she might, she couldn't resolve her feelings. He made her angry every time she saw him, but whenever he wasn't around she couldn't help looking for him. She wanted to attack him, but she also just wanted to talk to him.

'I wonder if his massages are as good as he claims...' The thought crossed her mind unbidden, and she quickly tried to clamp down on it. 'I wonder if his hands are soft...' The thoughts kept coming. 'No, damnit! I hate him! I want to see him crushed beneath my boot!' She attempted to convince herself. 'He might like that sort of thing...YOU might like that sort of thing...'

She shook her head, jumped up from her bed and started pacing the room.

This had to stop.