Crimson demons are really smart

“I can’t accept this! Rematch! I demand a rematch!”
On a certain afternoon, a storm raged outside.
While Megumin raged inside.
We took the day off from adventuring because of the rain.
Aqua snoozed next to the lamp, while Darkness did maintenance on her armor.

And so——

“Humph, your resistance is futile Megumin-kun. As long as the game has proper rules you may never defeat the one known as Kazuma the carry.”
“Ohhh…! We crimson demons have extremely high intelligence, so how can I possibly accept losing in a game of wits…”
Megumin and I were currently engaged in a 1 v 1 over a certain board game

I say board game, but its really <SHOGI>
“Ohhh… my favourite tactics are useless if I can’t create chaos through teleportation and explosions… what do I do…”

Games such as Chess and Chinese Chess also existed in this world. But because this is a world where magic is commonplace, the rules of these familiar games have been altered to allow for things like freely teleporting your own pieces or wiping the board with explosion. There were many such rules, but right now she had to play by mine.

“I will admit that I can’t wrap my head around all these fancy rules of yours. But come now, isn’t it time to admit defeat? Accept your punishment already.”
“Wahhhhhh…”
Darkness perked up as she heard the magic words
If she were my opponent, she would be doing her best… to lose, not that it would make a difference

“If I… move… there …”
“My turn! General takes your rook!”
“Ahhhh! W-wait! That didn’t count! Redo, Redo!”
As Megumin’s cries filled the living room, I reached over and gave her wrist a loud slap

“…Ohhh. I lost again… At this rate my explosion walk…”
“Give it up Megumin, staying inside and lazing around is what rainy days are for.”
I packed up the board and while Megumin nursed her bruised wrist.
If she loses she gets a slap on the wrist, if I lose I have to take her out for her daily explosion. That’s what we agreed to.

After that I picked up a deck of cards and started shuffling
“How about we play poker next? I’m sure Megumin already memorized the rules with your high intellect right?”
“No way! I’m not playing that game! Even though I know it’s not purely based on luck but I still feel like I have no chance!”

——Just then, the door bell rang

I emptied my hands and got up to open the door…
“It’s a man. It must be a man that rang the bell”
Megumin suddenly shouted
“Oh…? Is this your next challenge? Very well, I bet that it’s a woman”
I showed a fearless grin that Megumin returned in kind.

“humph, you underestimate the intelligence of the crimson magic clan. There’s a reason that I made my prediction! First of all, we don’t normally get visitors in this mansion! Which means, most of the people who show up are here to deliver either newspaper or mail, and I know the mailman. That’s right, it has to be a man!”

I walked away from Megumin’s confident declaration and opened the door.
“Good afternoon! Is Darkness home?... What’s going on with you two?... Why do you look so happy?... And why did you just collapse on the sofa?
The person at the door was in fact Darkness’ close friend, the female thief Chris.

“I win!”
“Why is it Chris! Shouldn’t it be the mailman at this hour?!”

Chris wore a perplexed expression as she walked inside.

“What’s…going on with these two?”
“Nothing. Don’t worry about it”

I watched Chris sat down next to Darkness, and then turned around and prepared to dish out further punishment.
“Well actually, yesterday I was at the guild and overheard Darkness inviting Chris over to play today, saying that she was going to be bored thanks to the rain”
“What! How is that fair! You’re despicable!”
“…And why am I despicable? This was your challenge…”

Just as the two of us were about to start an argument over this, the door bell rang once again.
“… … …” x2
Megumin and I stopped and looked at each other

“It’s a man! It must be a man this time! I have to right this time!”
“Wait, wait a minute! Why do you get to pick first again? You had first pick already so it should my turn now, and I agree that it’s probably a guy”
I played along last time because I knew Chris was coming today, but Megumin’s reasoning made sense.
“That’s way too despicable, Kazuma please bet woman again!”
“No… wait, how about we rock-paper-scissors for it…”

It was then that Darkness joined the fray and yelled at the two of us who were yelling at each other
“That enough! Hurry up and get the door!”