disgusting

A summary:
During the course of about 2 months, Blister/joga and I got to know each other really well. I told him a lot of deep and personal things about my life. Things became increasingly flirtatious on both sides. I trusted him a lot and developed extremely strong feelings for him over the time we spent talking to each other. I’m 16 and he is 20. He is aware of both those things. Occasionally things would even get sexual. Sometimes I would talk to him drunk. Things were especially sexual then. When I was drunk or in otherwise vulnerable states, he would use it as an opportunity to get me to say how much I liked him or what I saw in him, let alone the sexual stuff he would say. I've also expressed a little bit before things escalated that I'm uncomfortable in a lot of sexual situations because of past experiences (that are irrelevant to this).

Before I'm accused of bringing it upon myself, I'd like to take a look at this quote from a website about grooming:
"But desensitization works hand in hand with the illusion of a special relationship. This is produced by a mix of positive reinforcements, simulated affection, and possibly trauma bonding. Frequently, the primary aggressor will involve the survivor in some petty crime or violation of social norms."
Obviously a romantic/sexual relationship between a 16 and 20 year old violates social norms. The whole time, I really felt like the age gap was okay. I know now that it isn't. Blister's entire purpose of engaging with me was to take advantage of me. This is grooming. I did not realise this because I was naive and believed his manipulation.

Screenshots with explanations of context:
https://i.imgur.com/Y9b702w.png As you can see from what I said this is an example of something he said while I was drunk. It was virtually out of nowhere and I don't think he would've said this if i wasn't drunk at the time.
https://i.imgur.com/uj4FgWF.png Honestly I think this one is self explanatory.
https://i.imgur.com/CR1rA2N.png Also while I was drunk iirc, and also out of nowhere.
https://i.imgur.com/F05Drnc.png Yeah. This one's extremely gross
https://i.imgur.com/vVnV5mo.png This one is also very gross. I crossed out the stuff I said because I was drunk and 16 and nobody wants to see a drunk 16 year old say embarrassing and inappropriate things.
https://i.imgur.com/dUY5lO9.png We were talking about a sexual topic and I mentioned feeling awkward and implied that I felt he must feel awkward too. To which he said this. This isn't really a sexual screenshot, I just think shows that he knew he was in a position where it was easy to take advantage of me.
https://i.imgur.com/IJTVNrD.png Self explanatory.
https://i.imgur.com/TBmfsPh.png Him asking me to keep quiet about this stuff. Honestly, I think I was going to keep quiet about it. I'm very scared to share this, genuinely. I think the fact that he asked for it to stay between us is a very telling sign that he doesn't want anybody knowing about it for OBVIOUS reasons, and by that I mean that he manipulated and was sexual with a 16 year old.