domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 8:04 AM
Erm... hey. I saw you left pretty much... everything. Did something happen? Is it cuz I talked to Anysy? I’d like to talk about it because I feel like I don’t understand why you’re pushing us away... and if I did something I don’t know what it was... I mean the thought occurred that it was cuz of Yuki too, but, I don’t know what Yuki could’ve done to cause this because from my observation we were all pretty close in the group chat but maybe I’m stupid and blind.

Anyway, I’d like to talk about it if that’s okay when you’re awake? Sleep well. I’m sorry if I did anything.
I know you said we’re fine and all and I keep asking this but the reason I keep asking it is because I really feel like things between us have and keep changing and I’m not sure I understand why. I’ve done everything I can to support you and be the best friend I can to you but lately it seems like you just barely want to even talk to me. And it really hurts and makes me really sad because... I just dunno what I did. And the more I try and figure out what I did wrong, the more confused I end up and I can’t help but feel like you just decided you want nothing to do with me which is... fine... but it fucking hurts... and I wish it would be said if it was the case so I can just shelve it instead of dwelling on it every night. It’s seriously bothered me, because I can see your attitude towards me changing. And idk if it’s the drama or Anysy or what it is but, that’s just what I see. And even if it is cuz of Anysy, if you think I went back to him that is not what happened. We ain’t fighting anymore cuz we talked things out and that’s pretty much it.
And reading back I feel that I made a very grave mistake: when I said what I did about you being the issue, I meant their issue. If it was my issue I wouldn’t have spent all night defending you and taking your side because I really thought they treated you unfairly... :/ I’m sorry, shoulda worded that better... but we already kinda knew they had issues with both of us. I mean, it was in Kyo’s reasoning, which I showed you.
Floof - Today at 8:56 AM
idk, something just snapped inside me last night while we were in PvP. I realized that I just don't give a shit anymore. I don't give a shit about all the stupid drama that has been popping up nonstop since we made the discord server. I don't give a shit about having to constantly walk on eggshells in my own damn server just to keep special snowflakes from getting triggered. I don't give a shit about who people think I should and shouldn't hang out with. I don't give a shit about our raid group and their reasons for leaving. I don't give a shit about all the meme spam in our 10+ group chats with the same people. And I don't give a shit about everyone around me seemingly being depressed and miserable 24/7. I just don't give a shit about any of that anymore. I want to fucking live and not have to deal with everyone's shit for once, and that's exactly what I'm going to be doing for the foreseeable future. Make of that what you will.
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 8:57 AM
Er....
Do.... you not want to be my friend anymore, then...?
Floof - Today at 10:35 AM
That is not what I meant.  I just can't deal with all that stress anymore.
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 10:46 AM
I see. ^^; Um...
Look. I woke up really upset and hurt and borderline crying because several people came to me and said you left our mutual places. I noticed you went and stopped replying to me yesterday after I said what I did and figured it was my fault so I messaged you to talk about stuff. When I messaged you, I expected an actual conversation about how you feel, not this. I don’t understand why this happened. If you want to be away from stress. i don’t know why you left the servers you did, the group chats you did, etc.

My hands are shaking wrting this. I can’t believe I’m even seeing any of it. That explosion really hurt. I’m your friend. Or at least I thought. I don’t feel like I ever did anything wrong to deserve any of what you said. I’ve been a problem for you. I’m sorry. If you’d never met me, you’d still have your friends.

I’m just sorry. I left everywhere I could, you no longer need to deal with me. Without me around to constantly keep you stressed and dealing with the drama, maybe your friends will come back.

I’m sorry.
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:00 AM
I just. I’ve laid awake at night so many times because this relationship is one I’ve felt constantly keep getting worse despite your reassurances. I’ve done so much, I’ve defended you everywhere I could when your name came up negatively abd the more I think about it the less sense it makes. I laid awake in California wondering why you stopped messaging me first, wondering why your greetings towards me steadily got more and more curt, wondering why we used to talk all the time but getting replies from you nowadays feels like a constant need to message hoping you’ll notice one... the only reason I keep comig up with is it’s me. If I hadn’t been in the server, you wouldn’t have had the issues you did. You and Zeno might not be friends but I doubt it would’ve gotten quite this bad. I’ve been nothing but a problem. I don’t know what it was that I did to destroy this relationship but seeing the message you left made me feel extremely hurt and I just...

idk. I’m just rambling at this point. I’ll stop now. Thanks for being my friend
Floof - Today at 11:06 AM
You're reading too much into things. That message wasn't just about you and I still think of you as my friend.
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:07 AM
Are you really sure? Because I really feel like lately you just... you don’t like me as much.
Like despite all appearances I just...
Something just FEELS wrong.
Like why did you leave our places? Why not just leave the Basket? What did Nyk, Yuki, Kori and I do to cause you stress? Why not leave Kest’s server, where Zeno and Kali are darlings? I just don’t understand these decision, Ruk’a. You caused Nyk so much pain and he doesn’t even know why.
And if I’m your friend, why does it feel like lately I have to try so fucking hard just to get your attention?
Is that really just me reading too far? I’m asking you honestly, because I need to know.
We used to talk constantly all the time and do things together in game and lately I can’t even get you to tell me straight whether or not you wanna run shit with me. I mean I didn’t care you decided to do shit with Jae yesterday but you could’ve at least said “no, I’m going to do the event with Jae instead” instead of just not answering me at all when I invited you.
Floof - Today at 11:15 AM
I'd honestly just forgotten that kest's server is a thing. And I do think you're reading too much into things. You know I've been staying up lately and playing other games so I haven't been paying much attention to discord.
And I did the event on my own. As far as I know jae did it when it first came out and he just decided to follow me around and chat while I did it
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:17 AM
Alright. That’s fair. But... you still could have answered me so I knew you weren’t ignoring the invite or something.
Floof - Today at 11:17 AM
Fair enough
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:18 AM
And you’re right. I know you’ve been stressed and sleepless and annoyed and I’m sorry, I did overreact to that in spite of it, but...
I just get this feeling, when I talk to you, that something is wrong between us. It never goes away.
I’mma let you reply to the other things though, sorry
Floof - Today at 11:21 AM
I thought I already did
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:21 AM
No... not to the question as to why you left the places that were important to us or what we did to cause you stress
You even left Nyk’s linkshell. He seriously thinks that was his faukt
*fault
You left all the group chats... you didn’t stay in one of them.
How’re we all supposed to look at that Ruk’a?
The stress came from the Basket which I mean hasn’t even been a good place for either of us for ages. You could’ve just left that...
Floof - Today at 11:23 AM
I was angry and irritated. Heck, I still am. So I'd rather not have to deal with group chats and linkshells for a while
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:23 AM
But what about...?
Floof - Today at 11:24 AM
Everything
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:24 AM
And Nyk’s server?
Floof - Today at 11:26 AM
Jesus Dom I just wanted to be alone
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:26 AM
Okay...
I understand.
Just... next time could you tell one of us? So this doesn’t happen? We all would have understood if you’d just... said that.
We’re your friends, Ruka.
We want to support you. And... these kinds of things create concern and misunderstandings
Floof - Today at 11:31 AM
See, I don't think I have to constantly share my feelings with everyone. It's cool if some of you feel comfortable putting all that stuff out there or on tumblr/whatever, but my feelings are my own and I'd rather keep them to myself and share them when I feel is right
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:33 AM
But you could have at least told me if you wanted time away from these places. Couldn’t you? Instead of just leaving and making us think something happened?
Floof - Today at 11:34 AM
Fair enough
domiwoof (Dom) - Today at 11:34 AM
Alright.
That’s all I wanted to convey.
Uh... just gonna come clean about this so you don’t see it later and get confused: amidst that misunderstanding, I left a bunch of places, including the Basket. It wasn’t so much about this as... this was just kinda the straw, I guess, that broke the camel’s back. I figured you’d be better off without me there cuz of my thought process at the time led to that idea and... uh. I guess what I’m saying is, you can invite me back, if you want. I’m gonna leave it up to you. I just didn’t want you to see that and think I still harbored bad feelings towards you or anything.