13 Trips part 4

“How's Cloister?”

“Someone killed him. It's hunting all the trips. For some reason, it's targeting the Time Lords. And whatever creates it happens here,” said Belle.

“At a Kanye concert?” said Cats. “Well, I am doing a private project...but that shouldn't cause anyone to try to kill me, or kill any other trips.”

“What's the project?” asked Starfu. A sense of foreboding filled her stomach.

“Well, you see, I've seen every single hip-hop concert in existence. Every single one. But, I have a problem.”

“You have several.”

“No, Belle. I have one. I can't ever see those concerts for the first time again...because I've already seen them. I admit, I was quite upset. But then I spoke to a good friend of mine, John Wiles. He pointed out that if I could wipe my memory, I wouldn't have that problem. He's a sci fi guy. So I trusted him,” said Cats. His cane was striking to the ground to the beat of the music.

“You're wiping your own memory?” asked Belle.

Cats' cane began to glow. The heads of everyone in the crowd began to sparkle, and the glow grew brighter as they sang. Starfu could feel their temporal energy being harnessed for some sort of ritual.

“No. That'd be silly. I'm going to wipe the memories of my future selves. That way, I might have a chance to see Kanye concerts for an infinite amount of times,” said Cats. A large red machine floated down from above. It appeared like a large mass of tentales, thrashing about. Tentacles drew in the glow from the crowds.  Small bits of biodata, gathered from the people, collected into the machine. Only the Time Lords could see the device, as it was refracted across the reality

“Isn't that illegal? To mess with your future selves?” asked Starfu.

Creaking noises rebounded from the device. Cats smiled, and said “Yes, it's illegl. But who would know?”

Then he hit the ground with his cane. All the temporal energy channelled into the biomechanical monstrosity above.

And all hell broke loose.

Cats screeched, as his timeline was mutilated. The tentacles ripped into his back, cutting off his future history, and reversing his biodata. For every time he was fated to be reborn, a part of him was cut out. A part of his temporal state was chiseled away, until there were 13 (or so) holes in his memory. Each version of him would think he or she or xhe was the first. Each would walk around in life, unawares that he or she was one being. It was temporal modification on a basic level that should never be done even by a professional, and Cats had done it with no supervision whatsoever.

Starfu caught Cats, as he fell to the ground, unconscious. His face, craggy with wrinkles, looked even older now.

Then the ground began to shake. The concrete started to break apart, as a red light began to glow from underneath. Belle slowly approached the crack, and she wrinkled her nose.

“It smells rotten.”

Then Mongo grabbed her, and pulled her down into the depths. Starfu jumped after her, and  was dragged with her. Down, down, down she fell. She landed in a dark cave, with Belle and Mongo in front of her. Belle's face was pressed into Mongo's, and her biodata flew into Mongo's lack of essence. Starfu could feel Belle become non-existent. Then, Mongo began to crawl toward Starfu.

“Hello, Cats. Using another of your bodies to hide from me?” said Mongo.

“I'm not Cats!” said Starfu, scrambling out of the darkness. She tried to warp away, but her abilities didn't seem to work here.

A bright light appeared from above. Then, a rope came down. Starfu began to climb it, when it evaporated. Mongo was behind her, grinning.

“You will soon see,” it said. And Mongo grew closer, and then she did see.


Gina sat at Cloister's home, rather annoyed. Cloister and Belle had invited her for a bit of “private fun”, and she had dressed up in some nice, sexy, clothes. She picked out a nice red corset to contrast a chocolate brown skin. But when she got home, they were nowhere to be found. She was about to leave, when someone rushed through the door. It was an old man with sunglasses.

“That didn't go as planned. Oh, hello,” he said to Gina, having just noted her. He looked at her red corset, and nodded approvedly.

Another man ran inside, and he looked upset. “Something's very wrong here. Why are you wearing a red corset?”

“Um, I think I need to go,” said Gina. She honestly hoped this wasn't part of a roleplay.

A black spark ran through the air, and a woman appeared. Her eyes were blue, and her face was cute. But a long scar laid on her left cheek. Behind her was a blue haired man with a trimmed beard, and a dashing black coat. He actually looked rather sexy, to be quite honest.

The brown-haired woman stared at the old man, enraged.

“F==11 r346 hj990 Mongo, Cats!” said the woman. “F=11 r567u ii Mongo aso2gy Binertyu!”

“What? And remember, Starfu, there's a human in the room. Let's not talk Gallifreyan here,” said Cats. “And stop blaming it on me.”

“Blame what? And who are you all, anyway?” said the man with black hair. He looked extremely confused.

“I'm sorry, Cloister. couldn't save Belle. She died, by Mongo's hand,” said Starfu.

“Who's Belle? And I'm Neo, by the way,” asked Neo.

“Do you guys like, know each other?” Gina asked.

“Yes. We're all temporal events who possess knowledge far greater than anything you can imagine,” said Starfu. “More importantly, we all post memes on the /who/ thread of the /tv board on 4chan.”

“Who? You mean, that show about that guy called Dr. Who? Man, that show's kinda--”

For a slight moment, all three of those Time Lords' faces slipped, and she saw three large, formless shapes of impossible Eldritch form. The angles of their bodies became beyonf fourth-dimensional, and anger filled their countless writhing shadows. Her mind began to slowly draw into madness.

“He's called the Doctor. Never call him Dr. Who again,” said all three of those creatures. Then their human forms returned, and she forgot what she had seen of that portion of their true form, and her sanity returned. For the rest of her life, she would only remembered the warning.

“Anyway, why do you guys act like you know me? And who's Belle? Or Cloister. Wait, do you mean those trips I met on /who/?”

“Neo, how many bodies have you had so far?”

“Bit forward, huh?” asked Gina, trying to wrangle some humor out of this trainwreck.

“I'm on my first body. Rather nice one...you know, I think I'm into Asian women,” said Neo.

“Damnit. Cats, can't you see what you've done?” said Starfu. “None of the Time Lords who trip realize that they aren't the first o their regen cycle. They don't realize it, even though one glance of their biodata from a half-decent psychic can tell you that they aren't on their first body. Not even me. Do you know why that is?”

“...I don't like your tone,” said Cats.

“Because all of the trips are YOU. You refracted your time, ripped your own memory, but you did it crappily. None of us know who we are. And whatever you did caused Mongo to be born,” said Starfu. “Even now, it's hunting us. And it really hates you, for some reason.”

“Well...my bad. But in my defense--”

“Alright, so what can we do. How can we hide from Mongo?” said Neo.

“We can't. It can smell us anywhere,” said Starfu. “The only solution is for us to go talk to the Time Lord council. We have to take it to the Three Pillars of Time.”

“Three Pillars of Time?” said Gina.

“Yeah, that's the government of our planet. Well, actually they're the dying carcasses of the Time Lords of the last universe, who have died in linear time, but not in nonlinear time, so we can converse with them still,” said Cats.

“The answer to your question would be far too complicated,” said Neo suddenly.

“What's the difference between linear and non-linear time?” asked Gina.

“So, I'll be back soon. I suppose I should be the one to explain it, since I did it. I'll see you guys later,” said Cats. He snapped his fingers, and the old man disappeared, the sound of rap music faintly in the air as he disappeared.

The other Time Lords waited for Cats. Unfortunately, they decided  to do it in her apartment. They promised to leave as soon as Cats returned...also, every time she kicked them out, they somehow teleported in. She was honestly just waiting for Cloister or Belle to show up, as the Time Lords had assured her that as soon as this was settled, Cloister and Belle would return to life. So she sat and watched them.

None of the Time Lords ate or drank regularly. At least, she never saw them eat or drink regularly. Cats told her that they had no need to eat or drink, but they did it to maintain their human form. They rarely blinked, and often acted like they were unused to having human bodies. Gina almost began to believe they were aliens.

From what Gina could gather, Cats had done something to piss off a murderous stalker called Mongo. Starfu had nearly been killed by Mongo, before Edge, who Neo notified on /who/, used his TARDIS to save Starfu. Starfu had managed to, in her words, “warp reality”, and trapped Mongo in his realm for a few days.

Also, they loved arguing about Who. She had heard the words “canon”, “looms”, and “fuckofferino” far too many times. She eventually banned all Who arguments, which made them all grumpy.

Eventually, she found herself sitting next to Edge. The man was drawing art. Art of...ponies?

“I'm not a furry, or anything. I get commisions from my art. It supplants the income I get from pirating other people's time-ships,” he said. His unblinking eyes focused on Gina like a laser, making her stomach butterflies flutter.

“You're a pirate?”

“Yes. I only take from the deserving. I mean, do you know how pompous my race can get?” said Edge. A grin covered his elfin features. At his feet was a black cat.

“Is that an alien cat?”

“No. Just a normal black tabby. We Time Lords are nothing like you humans, but who can't appreciate a kitty?” said Edge.

“What exactly is a Time Lord?”

“My true form doesn't just exist outside time. I am a living breathing sense of time. When I die in my final regeneration, and don't get reborn, a piece of history will be lost forever,” said Edge.

“That sounds...bad,” said Gina. “I'm not sure what it means, but it sounds bad.”

“If it makes you feel better, humans will never notice it was lost,” said Edge. He suddenly grinned, and leaned in closer. “By the way,” said Edge, making his voice husky, “I was Neil Gaiman's inspiration for the Corsair.”

“Who is the Corsair? And what about a gay man?” asked Gina.

“...Never mind,” said Edge. He suddenly looked around, and put down his art book. “Cats is back.”

Cats appeared in the living room. Cats flopped onto Gina's couch, very annoyed.

“Do you know what I just went through? I just had to escape my own trial. The Time Lords arrested me for crimes against Gallifrey for illegally modifying my timeline. And Mongo was there, as the one holding a case against me. I barely escaped with my life!”

“Did you find any helpful information?” asked Starfu.