alex and the list eng

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♪ ♪

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Subtitles by explosiveskull

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[dogs panting]

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[panting]

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Whoo!

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[cell phone ringing]

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Shit.

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[lively chattering]

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[man]
You know, I think that...

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- They asked me to, right?
- No.

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You know?

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The hill?

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It's good you're late.

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You're getting too thin.
Eat something.

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Where is she?

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I became completely gluten-free,

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which for me was
a definite journey.

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Wait, was this
because of an allergy?

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Oh, no, no, nothing like that.

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Oh, that's good.
I'd be so concerned.

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There's a lot of food
that has gluten.

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[blowing softly]

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You're spectacular.

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And you're sweaty.

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[chuckles]

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- [dog barking]
- Stop it.

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- Stop it.
- [dog continues barking]

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Stop it!

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Stop, stop, stop it!

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Oh! Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

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Sorry. Stop it.

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- Oh!
- [conversations stop]

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He's brilliant with dogs.
He coaches them professionally.

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May I?

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- Oh, my.
- Here we go.

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- [whimpering]
- There we go.

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[guests] Aw.

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All right. You see, she...

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She thinks my shoe hitting
the floor is an act of God.

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Now she associates that
unpleasant noise with barking.

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- [whimpers]
- She's actually really sweet.

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No one has ever called
my dog sweet.

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- [chuckles]
- You must be Alex.

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Uh, you must be Victoria.

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- [Victoria] Yes.
- [growling]

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[stifled sneezing]

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[clears throat]

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[Victoria]
Are you all right?

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Yeah, just a little allergic.

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I'll be fine.

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You are going to come with me.

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I'm going to show you off.

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- [sneezing]
- [Victoria] Hello, everybody.

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Really see it. Picture it.
Picture a coin.

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Picture a coin.

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There we go.

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[laughs]

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What would be really great...

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is if it were something...

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[woman gasps]

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...that I could give
to my lady.

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- [man] Oh!
- [laughing]

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You know, I'm starting
to like your, uh,

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bizarre, insane...

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sometimes pretentious friends.

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Well, you know,
there's some very talented,

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powerful people here.

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- Yeah?
- [chuckles]

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There he is. Hey, buddy.

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- [Alex chuckles]
- How you doing?

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Dave, what a sight?

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Oh. Uh-huh.

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Oh. Hey.

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This is a great party, really.

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- Okay. Thank you.
- [woman laughing]

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[groans]

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You do realize that
he presses up against me,

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he rubs back and forth, pressing
his chest into my boobs, right?

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He-He's just really excited
to see you.

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[chuckles]

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I'll talk to him. Again.

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[laughing]

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[coughs]

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Hmm. I'm getting myself
another martini.

85
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Anyone want anything?

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A Sapphire and tonic.

87
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Cosmopolitan.

88
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Alex, how about a real drink?

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Are you fine with your
non-alcoholic gay cranberry thing?

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[Lily]
It's not gay.

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When one person doesn't drink,
it's such a buzzkill.

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It brings everyone down.

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[whispering indistinctly]

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- Hmm.
- Okay.

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I look like a piece of shit
next to her.

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[chuckling]
No, you don't.

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I do.

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[sighs]

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Was I charming and likable?

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Captivating.

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I think I am in love with her.

102
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Wow.

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That's huge. You hate women.

104
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True. I come from a long line
of women-haters.

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My grandmother
didn't like women,

106
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my mother didn't, and I don't.

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But Katherine,

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I mean, she has
a beautiful voice,

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a nice laugh,
no irritating quirks,

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and a good enough personality.

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She's perfect, right?

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And I love that
she doesn't despise me

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like your other girlfriends.

114
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Remember Robyn?

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[exhales]

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I will never forget her.

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She looked at me with that
homicidal glare in her eye.

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Yeah. She was a great cook.

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She was.

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Well, I mean,

121
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why isn't Katherine
with one of these

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handsome, wealthy guys then?

123
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Because she doesn't want
the good-looking studs.

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She wants you.

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She loves your old-fashioned
sense of chivalry.

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You're a gentleman.

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All right.

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- Check this out.
- Hmm?

129
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Oh...

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Oh, my God. Alex.

131
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It's stunning.

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It's my grandmother's.

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[softly]
Wow.

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When are you gonna
give it to her?

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[door opens]

136
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What's going on in here?

137
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Uh, um...

138
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Michael's had
too much to drink.

139
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They have to do this shot
exactly at nine o'clock, so...

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[clears throat]

141
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Yeah, I'm on another
IVF cycle.

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- The seventh one.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

143
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Well, at least you have Nicky.

144
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I know, but, um,

145
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one is just not enough.

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You'll see.

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You know what?
Let me do it.

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I bet I can do it better.

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I bet she can.

150
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I mean, I'm sure this is fun
for you in some way, but...

151
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[Lily and Katherine laughing]

152
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[clears throat]

153
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[Katherine]
All right.

154
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[Katherine]
Oh, you poor thing.

155
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Make sure you blow on it.

156
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[Katherine]
Okay.

157
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[Katherine blowing]

158
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[Lily]
Just stick it in.

159
00:09:05,402 --> 00:09:06,537
[Lily groans]

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[Lily]
Slowly.

161
00:09:13,609 --> 00:09:15,211
I have to ask you, Lily.

162
00:09:17,113 --> 00:09:19,917
How did you know
that Michael was the one?

163
00:09:20,984 --> 00:09:23,153
That is a very good question.

164
00:09:25,855 --> 00:09:28,057
And I think I know
where you're going.

165
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Okay.

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I discovered when you have
to make a tough decision,

167
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you do it from the heart.

168
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I know, most people think

169
00:09:41,271 --> 00:09:43,304
the heart is purely
an emotional organ,

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but it's not.

171
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It's actually quite cold
and unemotional.

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It's logical,
but it knows what's best.

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More than the brain sometimes.

174
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You just... you have to know
what you want in a man.

175
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You could even write it down.

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[Michael]
He is not going to propose.

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Yes, he is.

178
00:10:12,668 --> 00:10:14,569
[laughing]
He's a child.

179
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Hangs onto you
like you're his mommy.

180
00:10:17,172 --> 00:10:19,909
Runs to you when there is
the slightest crisis.

181
00:10:21,176 --> 00:10:22,175
[laughing]

182
00:10:22,177 --> 00:10:24,547
I can see why you only
dated him three times.

183
00:10:27,249 --> 00:10:28,585
Actually, it was four.

184
00:10:31,086 --> 00:10:33,323
And he pretends Nicky's his son.
He's my boy.

185
00:10:35,358 --> 00:10:37,291
He's lonely.

186
00:10:37,293 --> 00:10:39,128
He doesn't have any family.

187
00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:41,398
I know he doesn't.

188
00:10:42,431 --> 00:10:44,234
And I want him to get there.

189
00:10:45,634 --> 00:10:47,604
- Hmm. You smell good.
- Hmm.

190
00:10:49,239 --> 00:10:51,208
You know Katherine's not gonna
put up with this.

191
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,311
Why do you?

192
00:10:56,713 --> 00:10:59,483
Because I have... this.

193
00:11:15,264 --> 00:11:17,300
You and Dave are so different.

194
00:11:21,003 --> 00:11:24,738
Yeah. He's one of those friends
you inherit from childhood.

195
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There for life.

196
00:11:29,144 --> 00:11:30,346
I'm sorry.

197
00:11:35,752 --> 00:11:37,186
I know he's crude.

198
00:11:38,455 --> 00:11:40,420
But he looks out for me,

199
00:11:40,422 --> 00:11:42,125
and I look out for him.

200
00:11:43,258 --> 00:11:44,460
[chuckles softly]

201
00:11:49,365 --> 00:11:52,235
[dog growling]

202
00:11:53,235 --> 00:11:54,571
[barking]

203
00:11:56,538 --> 00:11:58,107
[toy squeaks]

204
00:11:59,142 --> 00:12:00,244
Come here, buddy.

205
00:12:01,411 --> 00:12:02,513
Come here.

206
00:12:04,781 --> 00:12:06,514
Use it up, buddy.

207
00:12:06,516 --> 00:12:07,618
Use it up.

208
00:12:08,685 --> 00:12:10,054
Use it up.

209
00:12:14,724 --> 00:12:15,756
Hey.

210
00:12:15,758 --> 00:12:17,224
[taps floor]

211
00:12:17,226 --> 00:12:18,261
Mail?

212
00:12:19,595 --> 00:12:21,130
Good boy!

213
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:23,530
Good boy. Bring it here.

214
00:12:23,532 --> 00:12:25,266
Bring it here, bud.

215
00:12:25,268 --> 00:12:26,369
Good boy.

216
00:12:31,608 --> 00:12:34,308
Remember Katherine's brother?
Gary?

217
00:12:34,310 --> 00:12:35,412
The weird guy.

218
00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:37,681
He's getting married.

219
00:12:39,449 --> 00:12:40,517
Maybe I could bring you.

220
00:12:42,351 --> 00:12:43,353
Come on.

221
00:12:51,127 --> 00:12:52,426
You ready to go to work?

222
00:12:52,428 --> 00:12:53,727
[sniffs]

223
00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:54,697
[whimpers]

224
00:12:58,133 --> 00:12:59,666
[Alex] Does he ever
walk around like he's drunk?

225
00:12:59,668 --> 00:13:00,703
Yes.

226
00:13:01,704 --> 00:13:02,773
[whimpers]

227
00:13:04,740 --> 00:13:06,776
Prolonged staring
where nothing distracts him?

228
00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:09,779
Sometimes.

229
00:13:12,114 --> 00:13:13,484
Bang his head against the wall?

230
00:13:14,850 --> 00:13:16,186
Yes.

231
00:13:19,189 --> 00:13:20,554
Does he eat his own feces?

232
00:13:20,556 --> 00:13:22,556
Not that I'm aware of.

233
00:13:22,558 --> 00:13:24,127
[dog whimpers]

234
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:27,527
Well, Gumball here,

235
00:13:27,529 --> 00:13:29,764
he's experiencing anxiety.

236
00:13:29,766 --> 00:13:31,368
- We're gonna find out why.
- [whimpers]

237
00:13:32,768 --> 00:13:34,135
Take a deep breath.

238
00:13:34,137 --> 00:13:35,368
[exhales]

239
00:13:35,370 --> 00:13:37,405
We're just gonna go
in one smooth movement.

240
00:13:37,407 --> 00:13:38,539
- All right.
- It's all good.

241
00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:39,841
- Smooth.
- Smooth.

242
00:13:39,843 --> 00:13:41,641
- Smooth.
- Smooth.

243
00:13:41,643 --> 00:13:43,144
Smooth movements.

244
00:13:43,146 --> 00:13:44,712
It's all good.
Just like...

245
00:13:44,714 --> 00:13:46,247
Look, he's fine.

246
00:13:46,249 --> 00:13:48,116
- Enzo's good. He's good.
- What if he bites me?

247
00:13:48,118 --> 00:13:50,251
He's not gonna bite you. I promise you.
He's not gonna bite you.

248
00:13:50,253 --> 00:13:52,120
- Okay.
- He's not gonna bite anybody.

249
00:13:52,122 --> 00:13:53,753
- Promise?
- I promise you.

250
00:13:53,755 --> 00:13:54,725
Let's do it.

251
00:14:21,618 --> 00:14:22,853
[Alex]
Good boy.

252
00:14:24,186 --> 00:14:25,288
Good boy.

253
00:14:31,494 --> 00:14:33,261
Isn't that the one that bit you?

254
00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:34,330
Sure is.

255
00:14:35,465 --> 00:14:36,800
You never cease to amaze me.

256
00:14:38,334 --> 00:14:39,900
Wanna grab an early bite?

257
00:14:39,902 --> 00:14:41,434
Can't. I have a date.

258
00:14:41,436 --> 00:14:42,672
- Can I come?
- [laughs]

259
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:46,375
I'm proposing
to Katherine tonight.

260
00:14:49,378 --> 00:14:51,348
Oh. I hope she doesn't say no.

261
00:14:52,614 --> 00:14:54,448
- I've never had anyone say yes.
- Hmm.

262
00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:56,383
- [kids shouting]
- Sir!

263
00:14:56,385 --> 00:14:58,419
You kid is playing
with your dog's shit.

264
00:14:58,421 --> 00:14:59,786
You might want
to clean that up.

265
00:14:59,788 --> 00:15:02,125
[dog barking]

266
00:15:06,628 --> 00:15:08,795
[muted conversations]

267
00:15:08,797 --> 00:15:12,369
- [slow jazz music playing]
- [waiter] Here's the appetizer menu that you wanted.

268
00:15:14,369 --> 00:15:17,438
- Just let me know if you need anything.
- [man] Thank you.

269
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,209
[waiter] I recommend
the calamari.

270
00:15:27,917 --> 00:15:29,253
So this dog...

271
00:15:30,787 --> 00:15:33,753
Uh... Yeah, he, um...

272
00:15:33,755 --> 00:15:36,256
Anyway, he's just... he's like
getting more and more anxious,

273
00:15:36,258 --> 00:15:37,724
and I think he's gonna
have to go on

274
00:15:37,726 --> 00:15:39,459
anxiety medicine
or something like that.

275
00:15:39,461 --> 00:15:40,660
Oh, my God.

276
00:15:40,662 --> 00:15:42,465
- Yeah.
- That's really serious.

277
00:15:57,312 --> 00:15:59,949
Alex, you're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

278
00:16:02,985 --> 00:16:05,621
You take me seriously.
You listen to me.

279
00:16:07,556 --> 00:16:08,758
You think I'm smart.

280
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:12,296
You make me laugh.

281
00:16:15,665 --> 00:16:18,632
I thought about this.

282
00:16:18,634 --> 00:16:22,303
Methodically. From my heart.

283
00:16:22,305 --> 00:16:23,507
I wrote it down.

284
00:16:29,311 --> 00:16:31,681
And what I'm trying to say is...

285
00:16:34,584 --> 00:16:35,852
let's go the distance.

286
00:16:48,498 --> 00:16:50,530
Oh, and don't take
any of this as criticism.

287
00:16:50,532 --> 00:16:52,967
These are just
well-thought-out suggestions.

288
00:16:52,969 --> 00:16:55,336
Think of them as observations.

289
00:16:55,338 --> 00:16:57,371
Like, um, this first one.

290
00:16:57,373 --> 00:16:58,506
Get teeth whitened.

291
00:16:58,508 --> 00:17:00,073
Don't be embarrassed by it.

292
00:17:00,075 --> 00:17:01,474
A lot of people have
this problem.

293
00:17:01,476 --> 00:17:03,010
Yellow, dullish looking teeth.

294
00:17:03,012 --> 00:17:05,680
It can make one look
a little older.

295
00:17:05,682 --> 00:17:07,580
I get them done
every six months.

296
00:17:07,582 --> 00:17:08,848
As you know.

297
00:17:08,850 --> 00:17:11,786
This next one is very fun

298
00:17:11,788 --> 00:17:12,955
and a no-brainer.

299
00:17:14,090 --> 00:17:15,455
Upgrade wardrobe.

300
00:17:15,457 --> 00:17:18,459
You've this great,
perfect body for clothes.

301
00:17:18,461 --> 00:17:20,027
Let's show it off.

302
00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:21,765
And I'm a soon-to-be designer.

303
00:17:23,099 --> 00:17:26,369
Okay, three,
I'm very excited about.

304
00:17:27,904 --> 00:17:30,370
Like sports.

305
00:17:30,372 --> 00:17:31,571
I mean, come on,
let's be honest.

306
00:17:31,573 --> 00:17:33,907
Gary did not quite turn out
to be the son my dad wanted.

307
00:17:33,909 --> 00:17:36,444
I was the one who grew up
loving sports.

308
00:17:36,446 --> 00:17:37,511
Loving sports.

309
00:17:37,513 --> 00:17:38,913
Football, basketball, baseball.

310
00:17:38,915 --> 00:17:40,815
Soon as I hear
Al Michaels' voice,

311
00:17:40,817 --> 00:17:42,817
I go straight back
to those halcyon days

312
00:17:42,819 --> 00:17:44,751
where my dad and I are
arguing and cussing,

313
00:17:44,753 --> 00:17:47,088
and he's downing a whole bottle
of California Red

314
00:17:47,090 --> 00:17:48,556
and throwing the remote
at the TV.

315
00:17:48,558 --> 00:17:51,658
[laughing] I mean,
you are a sports guy.

316
00:17:51,660 --> 00:17:54,994
Just you like the ones that
aren't on the major networks.

317
00:17:54,996 --> 00:17:57,732
Like Snooker. Just,
you know, if you just try

318
00:17:57,734 --> 00:18:00,033
to like the sports
that other people know about,

319
00:18:00,035 --> 00:18:01,638
my dad...

320
00:18:02,671 --> 00:18:05,539
will be yours for life.

321
00:18:05,541 --> 00:18:08,378
And that's something we can do
together every Sunday night.

322
00:18:09,645 --> 00:18:10,714
With my dad.

323
00:18:12,982 --> 00:18:15,715
[inaudible]

324
00:18:15,717 --> 00:18:18,888
[jazz music continues]

325
00:18:23,792 --> 00:18:27,161
And, Alex, really, if there is
anything you want me to change,

326
00:18:27,163 --> 00:18:29,463
anything you want me to change,

327
00:18:29,465 --> 00:18:30,500
I-I will do it.

328
00:18:31,767 --> 00:18:33,536
I don't want you
to change a thing.

329
00:18:36,705 --> 00:18:39,743
I really think we can have one of those
great relationships of all-time.

330
00:18:42,844 --> 00:18:45,481
You know what would really be
the icing on the cake?

331
00:18:46,515 --> 00:18:47,548
No.

332
00:18:47,550 --> 00:18:49,783
If we could finish this...

333
00:18:49,785 --> 00:18:51,554
in time for Gary's wedding.
[chuckles nervously]

334
00:19:00,663 --> 00:19:02,930
- [pounds table]
- You know what? That's perfect.

335
00:19:02,932 --> 00:19:04,434
That's perfect.

336
00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:08,068
You know why? Because
everybody's gonna be there.

337
00:19:08,070 --> 00:19:10,671
All your friends,
your relatives,

338
00:19:10,673 --> 00:19:11,871
your family members.

339
00:19:11,873 --> 00:19:13,540
Everybody that's important
in your life.

340
00:19:13,542 --> 00:19:16,911
No, I just... I want...

341
00:19:16,913 --> 00:19:19,446
them to see the kind of couple
that we can be.

342
00:19:19,448 --> 00:19:21,752
Yeah. No. Of course, that's...

343
00:19:23,051 --> 00:19:24,388
obviously...

344
00:19:26,522 --> 00:19:28,688
what this thing is about.

345
00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:31,157
Showing all of them,
all those important people

346
00:19:31,159 --> 00:19:33,194
how great you are.

347
00:19:33,196 --> 00:19:34,830
No, I'm sorry,
how great we are.

348
00:19:35,831 --> 00:19:37,063
Right?

349
00:19:37,065 --> 00:19:39,466
You know what?
Let's treat this like a game.

350
00:19:39,468 --> 00:19:41,071
Right? Come on!

351
00:20:09,698 --> 00:20:11,667
[exhaling]

352
00:20:17,740 --> 00:20:21,511
[cell phone ringing]

353
00:20:43,698 --> 00:20:44,834
[yelling]

354
00:20:46,836 --> 00:20:50,937
You remember that Russian girl
I was emailing a while back?

355
00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:52,740
One who loves dogs?

356
00:20:52,742 --> 00:20:54,911
[TV playing indistinctly]

357
00:20:57,847 --> 00:21:00,750
[sighs]

358
00:21:17,099 --> 00:21:18,268
[laptop chimes]

359
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,607
[woman with Russian accent]
Hello, my love, Alex.

360
00:21:27,609 --> 00:21:30,344
You are ray of light
on my heart.

361
00:21:30,346 --> 00:21:32,579
Yes, I give to you pardons

362
00:21:32,581 --> 00:21:34,615
that long you not writes to me.

363
00:21:34,617 --> 00:21:36,884
[Lily]
"You imagine dream today

364
00:21:36,886 --> 00:21:38,751
"has dreamed me.

365
00:21:38,753 --> 00:21:40,921
It was such bright and fine."

366
00:21:40,923 --> 00:21:41,989
[chuckles]

367
00:21:41,991 --> 00:21:43,190
"I am at home.

368
00:21:43,192 --> 00:21:44,657
"You enter my room,

369
00:21:44,659 --> 00:21:46,894
and I feel your aroma."

370
00:21:46,896 --> 00:21:47,962
[laughing]

371
00:21:47,964 --> 00:21:49,797
"You cautiously place me
in a sofa

372
00:21:49,799 --> 00:21:51,065
"to unbutton me.

373
00:21:51,067 --> 00:21:53,733
"The dress and your soft hands

374
00:21:53,735 --> 00:21:57,271
start to caress
my breasts softly."

375
00:21:57,273 --> 00:21:59,772
Oh! "And our bodies
merge as a whole

376
00:21:59,774 --> 00:22:02,742
"and you compress me
so strong.

377
00:22:02,744 --> 00:22:04,912
"Then we start
to be borrowed love.

378
00:22:04,914 --> 00:22:08,084
About as I would like that
this dream appeared the truth."

379
00:22:11,219 --> 00:22:14,088
What the hell are you doing?

380
00:22:14,090 --> 00:22:15,822
I thought you stopped
emailing the Russian

381
00:22:15,824 --> 00:22:17,259
two weeks
after you met Katherine.

382
00:22:18,260 --> 00:22:19,126
I did stop.

383
00:22:19,128 --> 00:22:21,328
You were doing that
out of loneliness,

384
00:22:21,330 --> 00:22:23,097
and you're not
the lonely guy anymore.

385
00:22:23,099 --> 00:22:24,964
What's wrong with keeping
my options open?

386
00:22:24,966 --> 00:22:27,166
Options? Uh, what are you
talking about?

387
00:22:27,168 --> 00:22:29,970
She's a nurse from Ivanovka,

388
00:22:29,972 --> 00:22:31,871
in the Kirov area.

389
00:22:31,873 --> 00:22:33,040
That's interesting.

390
00:22:33,042 --> 00:22:34,343
Wait a minute.

391
00:22:35,645 --> 00:22:37,080
What happened?

392
00:22:43,084 --> 00:22:44,084
[Lily]
Did she, um,

393
00:22:44,086 --> 00:22:45,351
say anything as to how
she came up with this?

394
00:22:45,353 --> 00:22:50,626
Uh, something about the heart
being smarter than the brain.

395
00:22:51,961 --> 00:22:53,096
Oh my.

396
00:22:55,063 --> 00:22:56,963
Jesus!

397
00:22:56,965 --> 00:22:59,098
I mean,
this is really incredible.

398
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:00,667
I just didn't expect this.

399
00:23:00,669 --> 00:23:02,935
I know. The audacity of it.

400
00:23:02,937 --> 00:23:04,137
I mean, it's humiliating.

401
00:23:04,139 --> 00:23:06,773
No. No, it's not humiliating.

402
00:23:06,775 --> 00:23:09,012
It's actually quite brilliant.

403
00:23:10,079 --> 00:23:11,444
It makes me sound like a loser.

404
00:23:11,446 --> 00:23:14,013
Well, what she's saying is,
she wants to marry you.

405
00:23:14,015 --> 00:23:15,382
Uh, no, no, no, no.

406
00:23:15,384 --> 00:23:17,984
I don't... I don't see that
in any way at all.

407
00:23:17,986 --> 00:23:20,753
No woman would give a guy
a list like this

408
00:23:20,755 --> 00:23:24,224
unless she wanted to be with him
for the rest of her life.

409
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:26,326
Hmm?

410
00:23:26,328 --> 00:23:28,896
And every woman has a list.

411
00:23:28,898 --> 00:23:30,399
She just wrote it down.

412
00:23:36,738 --> 00:23:38,641
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay.

413
00:23:45,715 --> 00:23:47,216
That's my dad's root beer.

414
00:23:48,751 --> 00:23:50,020
Oh, Michael's home.

415
00:23:51,052 --> 00:23:52,254
Let's see what he thinks.

416
00:23:54,189 --> 00:23:56,025
This ought to be good.

417
00:24:02,997 --> 00:24:04,798
She expects Alex
to become a Jew?

418
00:24:04,800 --> 00:24:07,467
People convert
all the time, Michael.

419
00:24:07,469 --> 00:24:09,738
And Judaism is
a beautiful religion.

420
00:24:11,372 --> 00:24:13,406
Why is number seven crossed out?

421
00:24:13,408 --> 00:24:16,009
That's "Replace male friend
who is a bad influence."

422
00:24:16,011 --> 00:24:17,744
You mean me? Fuck her.

423
00:24:17,746 --> 00:24:20,180
- No, no. Dave.
- She means Dave.

424
00:24:20,182 --> 00:24:23,349
We crossed it out,
so he's not gonna do that one.

425
00:24:23,351 --> 00:24:24,420
Okay.

426
00:24:26,155 --> 00:24:27,354
"Get teeth whitened."

427
00:24:27,356 --> 00:24:29,125
What about Alex's
lifelong dentist phobia.

428
00:24:30,792 --> 00:24:32,158
That's no joke.

429
00:24:32,160 --> 00:24:34,263
- [Michael] Very serious.
- We'll help him through it.

430
00:24:35,363 --> 00:24:36,396
Look, Alex.

431
00:24:36,398 --> 00:24:37,900
[Michael sighs]

432
00:24:40,535 --> 00:24:43,439
If a woman gave me this list,
this is what I would say to her:

433
00:24:45,174 --> 00:24:47,441
"You do know
if I make these changes,

434
00:24:47,443 --> 00:24:49,041
"I won't love you anymore.

435
00:24:49,043 --> 00:24:51,310
"I love you because
you love my faults.

436
00:24:51,312 --> 00:24:53,113
"If I fix them,

437
00:24:53,115 --> 00:24:56,015
"I'd have to raise my standards,
and you won't make the cut.

438
00:24:56,017 --> 00:24:59,019
Now do you really want
to hand me that list?"

439
00:24:59,021 --> 00:25:00,190
Wait a minute.

440
00:25:01,423 --> 00:25:03,190
Men expect women to be perfect.

441
00:25:03,192 --> 00:25:04,457
Like, all the time.

442
00:25:04,459 --> 00:25:06,092
You expect us
to have perky tits,

443
00:25:06,094 --> 00:25:09,029
firm asses, and perfectly
symmetrical facial features.

444
00:25:09,031 --> 00:25:10,864
And then you expect us
to have your kids,

445
00:25:10,866 --> 00:25:13,533
and then have our bodies
go back to looking great.

446
00:25:13,535 --> 00:25:14,835
And we're not allowed to age.

447
00:25:14,837 --> 00:25:15,869
Not a sag, not a wrinkle.

448
00:25:15,871 --> 00:25:17,570
So do not tell me
Katherine did anything wrong.

449
00:25:17,572 --> 00:25:19,405
How's he gonna pay
for this shit?

450
00:25:19,407 --> 00:25:21,410
Well, remember the money
his parents left him.

451
00:25:23,212 --> 00:25:25,846
This could be good
strategically.

452
00:25:25,848 --> 00:25:28,315
If you do Katherine's list,
you'll have leverage over her.

453
00:25:28,317 --> 00:25:29,482
She'll owe you.

454
00:25:29,484 --> 00:25:32,019
Oh, honey,
always so Machiavellian.

455
00:25:32,021 --> 00:25:34,855
Alex, if you don't do this,

456
00:25:34,857 --> 00:25:36,359
you'll regret it.

457
00:25:50,238 --> 00:25:51,972
[Dave] And why is
number seven crossed out?

458
00:25:51,974 --> 00:25:56,042
Uh, it's "Replace male friend
who's a bad influence."

459
00:25:56,044 --> 00:25:57,911
You mean me?

460
00:25:57,913 --> 00:25:58,779
Oh, fuck her.

461
00:25:58,781 --> 00:26:01,415
No, no, no.
She means, uh, Michael.

462
00:26:01,417 --> 00:26:03,319
Oh, okay.

463
00:26:04,419 --> 00:26:06,185
Look, dude, Alex,

464
00:26:06,187 --> 00:26:08,055
everybody has some weird shit.

465
00:26:08,057 --> 00:26:09,292
I guarantee you she does.

466
00:26:10,326 --> 00:26:11,390
Like what?

467
00:26:11,392 --> 00:26:13,862
How about that
she gave you a list?

468
00:26:15,430 --> 00:26:17,463
This is my life, okay?

469
00:26:17,465 --> 00:26:19,566
I'm never gonna find
another girl like this.

470
00:26:19,568 --> 00:26:21,538
Yes, that's one hundred
percent true.

471
00:26:23,071 --> 00:26:25,004
[groans]

472
00:26:25,006 --> 00:26:26,141
[chair squeaking]

473
00:26:27,909 --> 00:26:29,211
[sighs]

474
00:26:32,881 --> 00:26:35,147
What's with
the plastic furniture, man?

475
00:26:35,149 --> 00:26:36,518
It's inflatable.

476
00:26:37,653 --> 00:26:39,286
I can pack this up
and be out of here

477
00:26:39,288 --> 00:26:40,921
in ten minutes
if I have to be.

478
00:26:40,923 --> 00:26:42,559
Jesus.

479
00:26:44,193 --> 00:26:45,862
Look at the way we live.

480
00:26:46,928 --> 00:26:48,194
This is so fucked up.

481
00:26:48,196 --> 00:26:49,663
No, it's not.

482
00:26:49,665 --> 00:26:53,200
Hey, we are youthful-ish.

483
00:26:53,202 --> 00:26:55,402
We're allowed to be like this.

484
00:26:55,404 --> 00:26:57,604
After 40, it's starts
to get pathetic,

485
00:26:57,606 --> 00:26:59,309
but we're still okay.

486
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:07,282
[chair squeaking]

487
00:27:26,467 --> 00:27:28,702
[Mrs. Stern]
Katherine's got an eye.

488
00:27:28,704 --> 00:27:30,203
[Mr. Stern]
I have an eye.

489
00:27:30,205 --> 00:27:33,005
I pick out my own underwear
and socks.

490
00:27:33,007 --> 00:27:34,473
Don't need
to pay anyone for that.

491
00:27:34,475 --> 00:27:35,608
Dad.

492
00:27:35,610 --> 00:27:37,109
You don't need to work.

493
00:27:37,111 --> 00:27:39,578
Uh, do it as a hobby.

494
00:27:39,580 --> 00:27:41,682
- I'm gonna be a designer.
- Ah.

495
00:27:41,684 --> 00:27:44,417
You have a very
talented daughter, my dear.

496
00:27:44,419 --> 00:27:45,484
Don't sell her short.

497
00:27:45,486 --> 00:27:46,720
Do I have to work?

498
00:27:46,722 --> 00:27:48,124
Yes.

499
00:27:49,257 --> 00:27:51,124
You're a man.

500
00:27:51,126 --> 00:27:53,993
Honey, you're never gonna have
to worry about money.

501
00:27:53,995 --> 00:27:58,298
But your... husband should
be able to support a family.

502
00:27:58,300 --> 00:28:01,233
Do you think that idiot with
the dogs is gonna support you?

503
00:28:01,235 --> 00:28:04,203
I mean, what kind
of profession is that?

504
00:28:04,205 --> 00:28:06,339
What's next, elephants?

505
00:28:06,341 --> 00:28:07,609
What about elephants?

506
00:28:10,579 --> 00:28:11,547
[doorbell rings]

507
00:28:28,230 --> 00:28:30,166
Alex is here.

508
00:28:39,774 --> 00:28:40,976
Hi.

509
00:28:42,043 --> 00:28:43,111
Hi.

510
00:28:48,149 --> 00:28:50,218
Well, I-I'll let you two, um...

511
00:28:53,121 --> 00:28:54,289
Whatever.

512
00:29:01,663 --> 00:29:04,630
We had to pick Nicky up
from school and then...

513
00:29:04,632 --> 00:29:06,599
Lily demanded to come so...

514
00:29:06,601 --> 00:29:07,800
Well, they should come in.

515
00:29:07,802 --> 00:29:10,069
No, they're fine.

516
00:29:10,071 --> 00:29:13,008
Um, I just wanted
to talk to you.

517
00:29:16,578 --> 00:29:18,645
I'm not gonna do your list.

518
00:29:18,647 --> 00:29:19,745
I know.

519
00:29:19,747 --> 00:29:21,781
I never should have asked you.

520
00:29:21,783 --> 00:29:22,816
It's not fair.

521
00:29:22,818 --> 00:29:24,651
Uh...

522
00:29:24,653 --> 00:29:25,819
No, no, it's not fair.

523
00:29:25,821 --> 00:29:29,822
To expect you to do all those
things that I wrote down,

524
00:29:29,824 --> 00:29:31,625
it's a lot.

525
00:29:31,627 --> 00:29:33,059
Yeah, it is a lot.

526
00:29:33,061 --> 00:29:35,395
Well, it's not. I mean...

527
00:29:35,397 --> 00:29:37,431
I could do them.

528
00:29:37,433 --> 00:29:40,099
I know. You could, very easily.
I believe in you.

529
00:29:40,101 --> 00:29:41,534
Yeah, that's right.

530
00:29:41,536 --> 00:29:45,607
I mean, I could probably do them
perfectly if I chose to.

531
00:29:48,744 --> 00:29:50,178
Of course.

532
00:29:53,448 --> 00:29:54,750
But I don't want to.

533
00:29:56,784 --> 00:29:58,053
Okay.

534
00:30:00,121 --> 00:30:01,721
Hello, Alex.

535
00:30:01,723 --> 00:30:04,193
Um, I just wanted to ask,

536
00:30:05,224 --> 00:30:06,326
your friend and her son
are still out there.

537
00:30:06,328 --> 00:30:08,161
Should I bring them
something to drink?

538
00:30:08,163 --> 00:30:10,532
Oh, don't worry about it.
I'll go get them, Mom.

539
00:30:20,842 --> 00:30:21,811
Hey!

540
00:30:23,244 --> 00:30:26,780
Uh... you didn't say
anything to Alex?

541
00:30:26,782 --> 00:30:27,813
About what?

542
00:30:27,815 --> 00:30:29,182
Our bedroom conversation.

543
00:30:29,184 --> 00:30:30,884
I didn't say anything about you.

544
00:30:30,886 --> 00:30:32,485
Okay.

545
00:30:32,487 --> 00:30:34,186
Look, just promise me,
you'll never tell him.

546
00:30:34,188 --> 00:30:36,755
I'm not gonna tell him,
but you were the inspiration.

547
00:30:36,757 --> 00:30:38,558
I would never have thought
to do that without you.

548
00:30:38,560 --> 00:30:40,292
No, no, no.

549
00:30:40,294 --> 00:30:42,561
I was not the inspiration.
I'm not the inspiration.

550
00:30:42,563 --> 00:30:43,797
You wrote the list, okay?

551
00:30:43,799 --> 00:30:45,665
I didn't tell you that part.

552
00:30:45,667 --> 00:30:48,137
You don't have to worry
about it. He's not gonna do it.

553
00:30:49,271 --> 00:30:50,604
He's not?

554
00:30:50,606 --> 00:30:54,140
Because I kinda told him
that he should.

555
00:30:54,142 --> 00:30:55,577
- You did? Really?
- Yes.

556
00:30:57,178 --> 00:30:59,282
Shouldn't we get your son
out of the hot car?

557
00:31:01,183 --> 00:31:03,782
Yes. Yeah. Yes.
[laughing] Oh, God.

558
00:31:03,784 --> 00:31:05,253
That's a really good idea.

559
00:31:06,888 --> 00:31:09,155
Oh. Okay.

560
00:31:09,157 --> 00:31:10,493
This is so embarrassing.

561
00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:13,827
Oh!

562
00:31:13,829 --> 00:31:15,630
I look like a rat.

563
00:31:18,667 --> 00:31:20,700
I have Nicky set up
in front of the TV

564
00:31:20,702 --> 00:31:21,867
in the den with a treat.

565
00:31:21,869 --> 00:31:24,303
- Thank you.
- He's so darling.

566
00:31:24,305 --> 00:31:26,205
Katherine showed him
her old room,

567
00:31:26,207 --> 00:31:27,743
her stuffed animals.

568
00:31:29,378 --> 00:31:32,311
So, Gary, you excited
about the big day?

569
00:31:32,313 --> 00:31:34,380
What big day?

570
00:31:34,382 --> 00:31:35,882
- Your wedding.
- He's thrilled.

571
00:31:35,884 --> 00:31:37,854
Alex, do you have a minute?

572
00:31:50,698 --> 00:31:52,632
Something to drink?
I'm having scotch.

573
00:31:52,634 --> 00:31:55,338
No, I'm okay.

574
00:31:58,639 --> 00:31:59,641
Are you?

575
00:32:00,908 --> 00:32:01,878
Alex... [sighs]

576
00:32:03,579 --> 00:32:05,214
Katherine showed me
the list.

577
00:32:06,548 --> 00:32:07,614
And I want you to know

578
00:32:07,616 --> 00:32:11,686
I wholeheartedly support
your choice not to do it.

579
00:32:14,590 --> 00:32:16,192
Look around.

580
00:32:17,725 --> 00:32:19,529
This is her world.

581
00:32:20,995 --> 00:32:22,598
It's not yours.

582
00:32:24,532 --> 00:32:25,901
She expects a lot.

583
00:32:27,369 --> 00:32:29,001
Too much from men.

584
00:32:29,003 --> 00:32:30,205
But...

585
00:32:31,505 --> 00:32:32,707
it's not her fault.

586
00:32:34,609 --> 00:32:36,178
It's mine.

587
00:32:40,349 --> 00:32:42,382
Let me help save you
from the pain

588
00:32:42,384 --> 00:32:45,454
of trying to fit in
with all of this.

589
00:32:49,358 --> 00:32:50,956
You're a dog guy.

590
00:32:50,958 --> 00:32:52,594
That's fine.

591
00:32:55,630 --> 00:32:57,600
We don't have any dogs.

592
00:33:07,775 --> 00:33:10,809
We did seven IVFs
to get one kid,

593
00:33:10,811 --> 00:33:13,416
and he never complained once.

594
00:33:14,549 --> 00:33:16,683
Each time, he had
to sit in a little room

595
00:33:16,685 --> 00:33:18,784
and jerk off to some 1980s porn

596
00:33:18,786 --> 00:33:19,985
that other men
have jerked off to.

597
00:33:19,987 --> 00:33:22,454
- [Lily chuckles]
- Jerking off.

598
00:33:22,456 --> 00:33:23,790
Been there.

599
00:33:23,792 --> 00:33:25,325
[both laugh]

600
00:33:25,327 --> 00:33:27,894
And then he had to put
the cup in a paper bag

601
00:33:27,896 --> 00:33:30,829
and walk it across the room
like a child carrying his lunch

602
00:33:30,831 --> 00:33:32,331
and give it to his secretary.

603
00:33:32,333 --> 00:33:33,936
- [Lily laughing]
- Paper bag.

604
00:33:35,704 --> 00:33:38,672
[engine revving,
tires screeching]

605
00:33:38,674 --> 00:33:40,276
What the hell was that?

606
00:33:42,343 --> 00:33:44,911
This is gonna be
very interesting.

607
00:33:44,913 --> 00:33:47,717
[opera playing on stereo]

608
00:33:49,984 --> 00:33:51,419
[exhales]

609
00:33:52,486 --> 00:33:53,855
- [keys jingle]
- [music stops]

610
00:34:03,732 --> 00:34:06,633
Oh!
[laughing]

611
00:34:06,635 --> 00:34:08,434
Wow, that's a beauty!

612
00:34:08,436 --> 00:34:09,871
- Thank you.
- Come on in.

613
00:34:18,112 --> 00:34:21,417
[speaking Italian]

614
00:34:24,618 --> 00:34:26,518
- [laughing]
- [Mr. Stern] Everyone,

615
00:34:26,520 --> 00:34:30,590
may I introduce
Dr. Antonio Rosenblatt.

616
00:34:30,592 --> 00:34:32,695
Best optometrist
on the West Side.

617
00:34:34,061 --> 00:34:35,728
Buongiorno.

618
00:34:35,730 --> 00:34:36,831
Rosenblatt?

619
00:34:38,065 --> 00:34:39,666
Yeah, my father is Jewish.

620
00:34:39,668 --> 00:34:41,735
My, uh, mom is from Florenzia.

621
00:34:41,737 --> 00:34:43,536
[gasping]
Fascinating.

622
00:34:43,538 --> 00:34:44,871
Interesting.

623
00:34:44,873 --> 00:34:46,105
Well then, you're not
actually Jewish

624
00:34:46,107 --> 00:34:47,373
'cause you're mother isn't.

625
00:34:47,375 --> 00:34:48,944
No, no, I'm Jewish.

626
00:34:50,545 --> 00:34:51,981
Who is this
beautiful little man?

627
00:34:53,882 --> 00:34:55,882
He's mine.

628
00:34:55,884 --> 00:34:56,918
I'm the mother.

629
00:34:58,052 --> 00:34:59,853
Lily.
[clears throat]

630
00:34:59,855 --> 00:35:01,820
- Does he like cars?
- Oh!

631
00:35:01,822 --> 00:35:03,123
Loves them.

632
00:35:03,125 --> 00:35:05,628
Well then, we'll take you
for a ride later on then.

633
00:35:06,694 --> 00:35:07,796
I would love that.

634
00:35:09,663 --> 00:35:12,834
- And, uh, my daughter Katherine.
- Hey.

635
00:35:14,835 --> 00:35:16,770
Oh, wow.
[laughing]

636
00:35:16,772 --> 00:35:20,440
What? That's my thing.
I do the magic tricks.

637
00:35:20,442 --> 00:35:22,511
[speaking Italian]

638
00:35:26,547 --> 00:35:29,084
Do not show your hand,
okay, Alex?

639
00:35:30,085 --> 00:35:31,518
Be strong.

640
00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:34,654
That big, overly Italian guy

641
00:35:34,656 --> 00:35:35,621
isnt' a threat.

642
00:35:35,623 --> 00:35:37,424
[Alex] Not a threat? Come on.
Look at you.

643
00:35:37,426 --> 00:35:38,659
You can't even help yourself.

644
00:35:38,661 --> 00:35:41,661
Please, please take me for a
ride in your European car later.

645
00:35:41,663 --> 00:35:44,496
- [Lily] Okay, stop.
- [Alex] Your penis must be gargantuan

646
00:35:44,498 --> 00:35:45,898
just because you're Italian.

647
00:35:45,900 --> 00:35:48,701
Suddenly, I don't care
about my husband and my child.

648
00:35:48,703 --> 00:35:51,003
- Run away with me.
- Alex, stop.

649
00:35:51,005 --> 00:35:53,672
Stop. There's just something
about Italians, okay.

650
00:35:53,674 --> 00:35:54,773
- It's hard to explain.
- Oh God.

651
00:35:54,775 --> 00:35:56,476
All women react like this.

652
00:35:56,478 --> 00:35:58,177
I mean, look at him.

653
00:35:58,179 --> 00:35:59,779
- [speaking Italian]
- [Lily] Oof!

654
00:35:59,781 --> 00:36:01,815
[Lily] But it doesn't
really mean anything.

655
00:36:01,817 --> 00:36:04,016
♪ ♪

656
00:36:04,018 --> 00:36:07,889
[indistinct conversations,
laughter]

657
00:36:11,025 --> 00:36:12,761
Good coffee goes a long way.

658
00:36:15,096 --> 00:36:17,967
Katherine, I'm doing the list.

659
00:36:25,706 --> 00:36:27,777
♪ ♪

660
00:36:44,893 --> 00:36:47,793
Well, my friend,
you have seven cavities,

661
00:36:47,795 --> 00:36:49,795
receding gums...

662
00:36:49,797 --> 00:36:51,730
- Ah!
- ...and cracked enamel.

663
00:36:51,732 --> 00:36:54,266
I'm not even sure
I can save that one.

664
00:36:54,268 --> 00:36:57,737
Also, your front incisors are
a bit rabbit-like.

665
00:36:57,739 --> 00:37:00,009
- I'd like to file those down.
- [Lily snickers]

666
00:37:01,208 --> 00:37:02,875
Sorry.

667
00:37:02,877 --> 00:37:04,045
Rabbit-like.

668
00:37:05,246 --> 00:37:06,913
Teeth whitening comes last,

669
00:37:06,915 --> 00:37:08,614
after all these
other procedures.

670
00:37:08,616 --> 00:37:10,650
Uh, well, I appreciate
your concern

671
00:37:10,652 --> 00:37:11,817
for the health of his teeth.

672
00:37:11,819 --> 00:37:12,951
The reason we came here is

673
00:37:12,953 --> 00:37:15,020
for the teeth whitening.

674
00:37:15,022 --> 00:37:17,492
I'd like to discuss what kind
of white you'll be using.

675
00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:19,527
White.

676
00:37:21,128 --> 00:37:25,601
Well, there are other shades
and intensities and...

677
00:37:27,168 --> 00:37:29,205
different variations on white.
I-I'll show you.

678
00:37:31,105 --> 00:37:32,475
I thought this might come
in handy.

679
00:37:33,275 --> 00:37:34,076
See, um...

680
00:37:35,576 --> 00:37:37,576
eggshell white might be
a nice one.

681
00:37:37,578 --> 00:37:39,878
Yeah, no, that's really nice.
Uh, what about polar bear?

682
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,146
Mm, that might be
a bit too dingy.

683
00:37:41,148 --> 00:37:42,949
How about something
a little closer to, ooh,

684
00:37:42,951 --> 00:37:44,050
nebulous white.

685
00:37:44,052 --> 00:37:46,552
Ooh, that...

686
00:37:46,554 --> 00:37:48,554
that is a very nice
neutral white.

687
00:37:48,556 --> 00:37:50,692
- Yeah, exactly.
- I think you're right.

688
00:37:51,692 --> 00:37:53,793
- Polar bear.
- [chuckles]

689
00:37:53,795 --> 00:37:55,762
Is it polar bear or nebulous?

690
00:37:55,764 --> 00:37:57,633
- I think it's nebulous.
- Definitely nebulous.

691
00:37:58,632 --> 00:38:00,768
[machine whirring]

692
00:38:05,674 --> 00:38:06,775
[dentist]
Open.

693
00:38:16,083 --> 00:38:17,219
[groans]

694
00:38:23,857 --> 00:38:25,693
[machine whirring]

695
00:39:06,266 --> 00:39:07,636
[grunting]

696
00:39:09,069 --> 00:39:11,971
You conquered a lifelong fear.

697
00:39:11,973 --> 00:39:13,405
I'm so proud of you.

698
00:39:13,407 --> 00:39:15,310
[slurring]
I'm so proud of you.

699
00:39:17,679 --> 00:39:19,645
Definitely less, uh,
rabbit teeth.

700
00:39:19,647 --> 00:39:20,846
[laughing]

701
00:39:20,848 --> 00:39:23,349
It's outstanding.
Look, it's outstanding.

702
00:39:23,351 --> 00:39:24,750
Outstanding, huh?

703
00:39:24,752 --> 00:39:27,152
You don't need this.
Yeah, yeah, Oxycodone.

704
00:39:27,154 --> 00:39:28,688
You definitely
don't need all these.

705
00:39:28,690 --> 00:39:29,956
Yeah, I'll take a few.

706
00:39:29,958 --> 00:39:31,657
- [door bumps]
- [Katherine] Oh God.

707
00:39:31,659 --> 00:39:33,094
[Alex laughing]

708
00:39:37,965 --> 00:39:40,802
♪ ♪

709
00:39:52,212 --> 00:39:53,813
[Katherine]
It's for my parents really.

710
00:39:53,815 --> 00:39:55,447
You know my dad.

711
00:39:55,449 --> 00:39:57,886
It would make things
less complicated.

712
00:40:02,290 --> 00:40:05,291
Many people
stereotype Jewishness.

713
00:40:05,293 --> 00:40:09,829
Characterize them as nitpicky,
stingy, scheming merchants.

714
00:40:09,831 --> 00:40:12,331
Misers collecting diamonds,
counting money.

715
00:40:12,333 --> 00:40:14,067
Uttering phrases like,

716
00:40:14,069 --> 00:40:16,804
"Shalom, mazel tov, Oy vey"

717
00:40:17,871 --> 00:40:20,172
Constantly hearing about bagels,

718
00:40:20,174 --> 00:40:22,210
violin playing, haggling.

719
00:40:24,112 --> 00:40:26,145
The complaining,

720
00:40:26,147 --> 00:40:28,980
guilt-inflicting Jewish mother.

721
00:40:28,982 --> 00:40:32,150
The spoiled, materialistic
Jewish-American princess.

722
00:40:32,152 --> 00:40:34,689
The often meek but nice
Jewish boy.

723
00:40:35,924 --> 00:40:38,257
You sure you're not
anti-Semitic.

724
00:40:38,259 --> 00:40:40,393
That all spilled out
of your mouth a little too easy.

725
00:40:40,395 --> 00:40:42,962
I take umbrage at that.

726
00:40:42,964 --> 00:40:44,362
I am just a concerned friend

727
00:40:44,364 --> 00:40:46,734
who can't believe
you're doing this for a woman.

728
00:40:48,469 --> 00:40:50,038
[breathes deeply]

729
00:40:51,105 --> 00:40:52,237
Hey, remember.

730
00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,375
No more Christmas,
no more Easter Bunny.

731
00:40:55,442 --> 00:40:57,178
Think about it.

732
00:41:05,487 --> 00:41:07,889
[blowing]

733
00:41:13,127 --> 00:41:14,763
Do you know
what it means to convert?

734
00:41:16,964 --> 00:41:18,100
Uh, you...

735
00:41:21,935 --> 00:41:23,071
become a Jew.

736
00:41:24,304 --> 00:41:26,274
It's a little more complicated
than that.

737
00:41:28,042 --> 00:41:29,444
I've known the Sterns for...

738
00:41:30,511 --> 00:41:31,714
over 20 years.

739
00:41:32,813 --> 00:41:34,082
I've watched Katherine grow up.

740
00:41:35,784 --> 00:41:39,418
Yes, she's spoiled,
and she has a good heart.

741
00:41:39,420 --> 00:41:41,956
And she certainly knows
what she wants.

742
00:41:44,225 --> 00:41:45,293
Do you?

743
00:41:50,964 --> 00:41:51,933
Sometimes.

744
00:41:54,101 --> 00:41:56,434
You know that
it is my job

745
00:41:56,436 --> 00:41:59,237
to dissuade you from converting?

746
00:41:59,239 --> 00:42:01,873
I'm committed to protecting
the Jewish religion

747
00:42:01,875 --> 00:42:03,044
and the Jewish people.

748
00:42:04,212 --> 00:42:06,179
My personal feeling is
to welcome people

749
00:42:06,181 --> 00:42:07,750
to this beautiful faith.

750
00:42:10,250 --> 00:42:11,449
But...

751
00:42:11,451 --> 00:42:14,020
if they are not serious...

752
00:42:14,022 --> 00:42:16,588
or they have
stereotypical ideas, beliefs...

753
00:42:16,590 --> 00:42:18,523
Oh, no, no. No, no.
I-I am serious.

754
00:42:18,525 --> 00:42:20,159
I am totally serious.

755
00:42:20,161 --> 00:42:22,261
I don't want to harm any Jews.

756
00:42:22,263 --> 00:42:24,329
I would protect them all
if I could.

757
00:42:24,331 --> 00:42:25,498
I respect Jews.

758
00:42:25,500 --> 00:42:28,034
I... I've watched Jews
my whole life.

759
00:42:28,036 --> 00:42:30,472
The entire Holocaust
was terrible.

760
00:42:31,505 --> 00:42:34,373
Ho-Horrific.

761
00:42:34,375 --> 00:42:36,011
It makes me sick like...

762
00:42:37,244 --> 00:42:39,313
uh, and... but...

763
00:42:40,915 --> 00:42:43,148
They've done so well
for themselves in Hollywood now.

764
00:42:43,150 --> 00:42:44,983
I mean, they make
all those great...

765
00:42:44,985 --> 00:42:45,853
movies and...

766
00:42:47,455 --> 00:42:49,889
That was the stupidest thing
I have said.

767
00:42:49,891 --> 00:42:51,527
I'm sorry I said that.
I'm babbling.

768
00:42:54,362 --> 00:42:56,130
What about your family?

769
00:42:59,167 --> 00:43:00,168
Gone.

770
00:43:02,136 --> 00:43:03,138
I'm sorry.

771
00:43:06,007 --> 00:43:08,273
I like you. You're honest.

772
00:43:08,275 --> 00:43:09,474
You didn't come here
and tell me

773
00:43:09,476 --> 00:43:10,876
what you thought
I wanted to hear.

774
00:43:10,878 --> 00:43:12,114
You didn't try to fool me.

775
00:43:13,147 --> 00:43:14,116
I'm not very good at that.

776
00:43:15,449 --> 00:43:17,349
- All right.
- [taps desk]

777
00:43:17,351 --> 00:43:20,887
Let's start with the basics
and move on from there.

778
00:43:20,889 --> 00:43:23,456
And I think you may be surprised
at what you learn.

779
00:43:23,458 --> 00:43:25,023
Okay, Rabbi.

780
00:43:25,025 --> 00:43:26,125
Do I call you Rabbi?

781
00:43:26,127 --> 00:43:27,626
Yes.

782
00:43:27,628 --> 00:43:29,264
Did you know
rabbi means teacher?

783
00:43:30,898 --> 00:43:34,634
We educate people
in how to connect to God

784
00:43:34,636 --> 00:43:36,839
and to spirituality.

785
00:43:38,473 --> 00:43:39,507
I like that.

786
00:43:40,540 --> 00:43:42,210
The process takes
about six months.

787
00:43:43,610 --> 00:43:44,679
Uh, that's actually not...

788
00:43:46,447 --> 00:43:48,915
gonna work because I need
to be Jewish in three weeks

789
00:43:48,917 --> 00:43:51,050
for Gary's wedding.

790
00:43:51,052 --> 00:43:52,554
We'll deal with that
when we get to it.

791
00:43:54,121 --> 00:43:56,188
But for now, you need to study.

792
00:43:56,190 --> 00:43:57,623
You'll also have a mikveh,

793
00:43:57,625 --> 00:43:59,592
a ceremonial baptism.

794
00:43:59,594 --> 00:44:01,362
And you will need
to be circumcised.

795
00:44:03,331 --> 00:44:04,499
Oh, I am. I, uh...

796
00:44:06,134 --> 00:44:08,099
I believe you.

797
00:44:08,101 --> 00:44:10,471
It's a ritual circumcision
by a mohel.

798
00:44:12,607 --> 00:44:14,208
It's not as bad as it sounds.

799
00:44:16,310 --> 00:44:17,311
Okay.

800
00:44:21,415 --> 00:44:22,450
[sighs]

801
00:44:25,552 --> 00:44:28,119
[Lily] When I came here,
I hated all American sports,

802
00:44:28,121 --> 00:44:29,989
especially baseball.

803
00:44:29,991 --> 00:44:31,489
I mean, it was torture.

804
00:44:31,491 --> 00:44:34,192
I didn't get it, at all.

805
00:44:34,194 --> 00:44:37,429
Then, I started
to get to know the players.

806
00:44:37,431 --> 00:44:39,732
This one's married.
This one's single.

807
00:44:39,734 --> 00:44:41,634
This one's good-looking.

808
00:44:41,636 --> 00:44:43,668
I started to see the pictures,

809
00:44:43,670 --> 00:44:45,438
the split finger fastball,

810
00:44:45,440 --> 00:44:47,909
the cutter, the sinker,
change-up.

811
00:44:48,976 --> 00:44:52,277
I began to understand
the strategy.

812
00:44:52,279 --> 00:44:55,681
I decided to change
how I felt about baseball.

813
00:44:55,683 --> 00:44:58,219
And now, I'm more passionate
about the game than Michael.

814
00:45:00,520 --> 00:45:03,121
And then, there is football,

815
00:45:03,123 --> 00:45:04,623
American football.

816
00:45:04,625 --> 00:45:07,226
There's no other sport
that makes grown-up men cry,

817
00:45:07,228 --> 00:45:10,195
brings them to their knees
more than football.

818
00:45:10,197 --> 00:45:12,998
It taps into our most
primal instincts.

819
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,201
So, allow yourself to enjoy
the epic struggle,

820
00:45:16,203 --> 00:45:18,603
the spectacle that is football.

821
00:45:18,605 --> 00:45:21,540
[crowd on TV cheering]

822
00:45:21,542 --> 00:45:23,509
Come on, run it down
their throats.

823
00:45:23,511 --> 00:45:25,311
Time to air it out. Go long!

824
00:45:25,313 --> 00:45:26,645
[laughing]

825
00:45:26,647 --> 00:45:29,114
[TV announcer
talking indistinctly]

826
00:45:29,116 --> 00:45:30,384
Maybe he should
dump it off short.

827
00:45:32,453 --> 00:45:33,753
- No.
- Pssh, of course not.

828
00:45:33,755 --> 00:45:35,624
Good try, Alex.

829
00:45:38,092 --> 00:45:40,226
Brady likes to stay aggressive,

830
00:45:40,228 --> 00:45:41,161
move it down the field.

831
00:45:41,163 --> 00:45:43,561
Yeah, except the defense
is expecting that.

832
00:45:43,563 --> 00:45:44,730
They have
their nickel package in.

833
00:45:44,732 --> 00:45:46,264
[Mrs. Stern]
That's true.

834
00:45:46,266 --> 00:45:47,569
Brady better be careful.

835
00:45:48,569 --> 00:45:49,538
That was a good try, babe.

836
00:45:50,605 --> 00:45:52,507
Okay. Third and one.

837
00:45:53,708 --> 00:45:56,108
Run it off tackle.
Get the first down.

838
00:45:56,110 --> 00:45:59,145
[TV commentary continues]

839
00:45:59,147 --> 00:46:02,451
Or... maybe he should fake it
into the line and go deep.

840
00:46:03,451 --> 00:46:06,217
Oh, that's bold, Alex.

841
00:46:06,219 --> 00:46:08,454
[commentator] ...fires
into the end zone. Touchdown!

842
00:46:08,456 --> 00:46:10,726
[all cheering]

843
00:46:11,793 --> 00:46:13,659
Outstanding, Alex.

844
00:46:13,661 --> 00:46:15,828
Good. Good work. Good...

845
00:46:15,830 --> 00:46:18,197
Hey, come over here.
Sit by me.

846
00:46:18,199 --> 00:46:19,465
Katherine, give him some room.

847
00:46:19,467 --> 00:46:21,233
[commentator 1]
What a touchdown by 22.

848
00:46:21,235 --> 00:46:22,701
[commentator 2]
He's a great football player.

849
00:46:22,703 --> 00:46:26,204
Unfortunately, earlier in the
season, he took a big hit.

850
00:46:26,206 --> 00:46:28,674
You know, I wouldn't be surprised
to see him bootleg it here.

851
00:46:28,676 --> 00:46:31,580
Hey, I got my own John Madden
next to me.

852
00:46:44,859 --> 00:46:46,194
[knocking]

853
00:46:52,165 --> 00:46:54,735
[TV commentary continues]

854
00:46:57,304 --> 00:46:59,572
He's so surgical
in that position.

855
00:46:59,574 --> 00:47:01,806
Changing up tempos like that. His
guys giving him passing lanes.

856
00:47:01,808 --> 00:47:04,143
Hey, Brady's got ice water
in his veins.

857
00:47:04,145 --> 00:47:05,311
No-flinch mentality.

858
00:47:05,313 --> 00:47:06,846
Damn you, Brady!

859
00:47:06,848 --> 00:47:08,282
[Mr. Stern]
I'm taking you to a game.

860
00:47:14,388 --> 00:47:15,424
Jesus.

861
00:47:16,723 --> 00:47:18,791
Fifty-yard line, ten rows back.

862
00:47:18,793 --> 00:47:21,293
How the hell did you get these?

863
00:47:21,295 --> 00:47:22,628
Go get yourself a drink.

864
00:47:22,630 --> 00:47:25,500
Oh, I brought you
something to drink.

865
00:47:27,201 --> 00:47:29,634
Wow! 1967 Bordeaux.

866
00:47:29,636 --> 00:47:31,505
Antonio, you didn't need
to do that.

867
00:47:36,143 --> 00:47:38,844
Alex, uh, why don't you open it?

868
00:47:38,846 --> 00:47:40,648
Or do you need some help?

869
00:47:46,186 --> 00:47:47,322
Tell you what.

870
00:47:48,656 --> 00:47:50,822
You go ahead
and open it yourself.

871
00:47:50,824 --> 00:47:52,558
You might wanna decant it first.

872
00:47:52,560 --> 00:47:54,795
Although it's probably lost
all its fruit by now.

873
00:47:58,266 --> 00:47:59,868
Katherine, go get him.

874
00:48:04,804 --> 00:48:06,808
Patriots are the forces of evil.

875
00:48:09,277 --> 00:48:10,744
Alex, please.

876
00:48:11,846 --> 00:48:13,281
Don't go.

877
00:48:22,822 --> 00:48:24,255
[sighs]

878
00:48:24,257 --> 00:48:25,791
You know I didn't invite him.

879
00:48:25,793 --> 00:48:27,793
My dad did.

880
00:48:27,795 --> 00:48:29,764
He is stalking you.

881
00:48:31,199 --> 00:48:33,199
He's an optometrist.

882
00:48:33,201 --> 00:48:34,900
That's not a real doctor.

883
00:48:34,902 --> 00:48:37,636
The real doctor is
an ophthalmologist.

884
00:48:37,638 --> 00:48:40,838
Mr. Antonio Rosenblatt

885
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:42,241
is a pretend doctor.

886
00:48:42,243 --> 00:48:43,741
He sells glasses.

887
00:48:43,743 --> 00:48:44,845
What a scam.

888
00:48:46,380 --> 00:48:47,813
And you, oh,

889
00:48:47,815 --> 00:48:52,351
"Yes, may I please have
some of your special wine."

890
00:48:52,353 --> 00:48:55,253
Because everything Italian
is automatically incredible

891
00:48:55,255 --> 00:48:57,556
just because it's Italian.

892
00:48:57,558 --> 00:48:59,692
And by the way, I'm pretty sure
he's not Italian.

893
00:48:59,694 --> 00:49:02,695
He sounds French to me. I don't know
why anybody else doesn't hear that.

894
00:49:02,697 --> 00:49:04,933
How'd you know about
the wine and the football?

895
00:49:07,634 --> 00:49:09,770
Because when I say I'm gonna
do something, I do it.

896
00:49:10,971 --> 00:49:12,406
Hundred percent.

897
00:49:13,907 --> 00:49:15,243
I like that.

898
00:49:18,378 --> 00:49:19,647
All right, uh...

899
00:49:21,348 --> 00:49:23,349
I guess I'll go get back
to your dad.

900
00:49:23,351 --> 00:49:25,186
I don't wanna be rude
or anything.

901
00:49:26,319 --> 00:49:27,455
I don't wanna be a dick.

902
00:49:28,755 --> 00:49:30,225
Where do you think you're going?

903
00:49:41,002 --> 00:49:45,270
I guess it is only the beginning
of the third quarter out there.

904
00:49:45,272 --> 00:49:46,874
My dad's never leaving
that game.

905
00:49:48,308 --> 00:49:50,375
And that score is pretty tight.

906
00:49:50,377 --> 00:49:51,976
Really tight.

907
00:49:51,978 --> 00:49:53,948
We have a good 32 minutes.

908
00:50:03,757 --> 00:50:07,494
♪ ♪

909
00:50:27,380 --> 00:50:29,947
[Katherine]
This next one is very fun

910
00:50:29,949 --> 00:50:31,449
and a no-brainer.

911
00:50:31,451 --> 00:50:32,985
Upgrade wardrobe.

912
00:50:32,987 --> 00:50:35,920
You have this great,
perfect body for clothes.

913
00:50:35,922 --> 00:50:37,556
Let's show it off.

914
00:50:37,558 --> 00:50:38,627
[laughing]

915
00:50:48,802 --> 00:50:49,837
Hmm.

916
00:50:56,076 --> 00:50:57,544
[cell phone ringing]

917
00:51:09,489 --> 00:51:11,989
I'm sorry, I gotta go.
It's Victoria.

918
00:51:11,991 --> 00:51:13,125
Uh-oh.

919
00:51:13,127 --> 00:51:14,226
Wardrobe emergency?

920
00:51:14,228 --> 00:51:17,563
Yes. One of our big clients
who no one can stand,

921
00:51:17,565 --> 00:51:20,902
apparently, she hates the dress
I pulled for her.

922
00:51:22,036 --> 00:51:23,538
I'll get back soon as I can.

923
00:51:24,739 --> 00:51:26,374
I'm so sorry.

924
00:51:27,741 --> 00:51:29,810
But there's so many
beautiful clothes here.

925
00:51:30,810 --> 00:51:31,779
Have fun.

926
00:51:32,947 --> 00:51:35,012
[Katherine]
Mix and match.

927
00:51:35,014 --> 00:51:36,114
Do whatever you want.

928
00:51:36,116 --> 00:51:38,052
It's gonna make you look
so handsome.

929
00:51:47,127 --> 00:51:49,763
♪ ♪

930
00:52:04,011 --> 00:52:06,945
[Alex] I was finally getting
comfortable around Mr. Stern.

931
00:52:06,947 --> 00:52:08,614
Like we were bonding.

932
00:52:08,616 --> 00:52:09,884
We were watching football.

933
00:52:11,719 --> 00:52:14,953
And then this Antonio guy
comes in.

934
00:52:14,955 --> 00:52:16,422
He ruined everything.

935
00:52:16,424 --> 00:52:17,525
Ruined the whole moment.

936
00:52:21,494 --> 00:52:23,529
What do you think
I should do?

937
00:52:23,531 --> 00:52:25,831
Tell him to go away.

938
00:52:25,833 --> 00:52:26,898
I shouldn't punch him?

939
00:52:26,900 --> 00:52:29,867
Only policemen and Marines
are allowed to punch.

940
00:52:29,869 --> 00:52:30,869
Only what?

941
00:52:30,871 --> 00:52:33,070
Policemen and marines
are allowed to punch.

942
00:52:33,072 --> 00:52:34,907
[laughs]

943
00:52:34,909 --> 00:52:36,511
That's a good point.

944
00:52:38,746 --> 00:52:40,712
We're oddballs, huh?

945
00:52:40,714 --> 00:52:41,782
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

946
00:52:43,683 --> 00:52:45,583
I think we need to be more
like Steve McQueen.

947
00:52:45,585 --> 00:52:46,721
Yeah.

948
00:52:48,688 --> 00:52:52,025
[sighs]

949
00:52:54,127 --> 00:52:57,598
[men grunting]

950
00:53:01,534 --> 00:53:03,067
Grunters.

951
00:53:03,069 --> 00:53:04,037
What the hell?

952
00:53:07,507 --> 00:53:09,042
Look at that lame fuck.

953
00:53:20,688 --> 00:53:23,255
Alex, my friend!

954
00:53:23,257 --> 00:53:25,590
Who's he?

955
00:53:25,592 --> 00:53:28,494
That's the Jewish-Italian
optometrist.

956
00:53:28,496 --> 00:53:30,195
Clearly sounds French though.

957
00:53:30,197 --> 00:53:32,197
[Michael] The one who wants
to get into Katherine's pants?

958
00:53:32,199 --> 00:53:33,635
That's the one.

959
00:53:34,634 --> 00:53:35,933
Look who dropped by, Alex.

960
00:53:35,935 --> 00:53:37,037
Great.

961
00:53:38,172 --> 00:53:39,507
How about we play a match?

962
00:53:41,641 --> 00:53:42,940
Terrific idea.

963
00:53:42,942 --> 00:53:44,509
That's all right.
I think we'll come back.

964
00:53:44,511 --> 00:53:46,545
Absolutely. Let's do this.

965
00:53:46,547 --> 00:53:47,949
[chuckles]

966
00:53:49,683 --> 00:53:50,851
Yea-oh!

967
00:53:52,219 --> 00:53:53,822
Kick their asses.

968
00:54:04,998 --> 00:54:07,067
Fuck me! Fuck me!

969
00:54:08,067 --> 00:54:10,802
[grunting]

970
00:54:10,804 --> 00:54:12,607
- Ooh!
- [laughing]

971
00:54:16,911 --> 00:54:18,880
You know, Katherine is
a very special woman.

972
00:54:20,179 --> 00:54:21,913
She deserves the best.

973
00:54:21,915 --> 00:54:24,017
Oh, she's more than satisfied
with what she's got.

974
00:54:25,953 --> 00:54:27,184
No, she's not.

975
00:54:27,186 --> 00:54:28,889
What'd you say?

976
00:54:31,225 --> 00:54:32,627
What'd you say?

977
00:54:35,061 --> 00:54:36,563
My serve.

978
00:54:46,072 --> 00:54:47,609
[grunting]

979
00:54:51,578 --> 00:54:52,878
Oh!

980
00:54:52,880 --> 00:54:54,246
- Ooh!
- Ooh.

981
00:54:54,248 --> 00:54:55,617
[groans]

982
00:54:57,317 --> 00:54:59,253
Sorry, that was an accident.

983
00:55:01,154 --> 00:55:02,753
Ah, you're okay.

984
00:55:02,755 --> 00:55:03,991
Just, uh, walk it off.

985
00:55:07,795 --> 00:55:08,930
[groans]

986
00:55:18,605 --> 00:55:20,274
[laughing]

987
00:55:22,643 --> 00:55:25,079
♪ ♪

988
00:55:32,685 --> 00:55:33,787
[sneezes]

989
00:55:43,864 --> 00:55:47,001
[whirring]

990
00:56:04,317 --> 00:56:06,587
[creaking]

991
00:56:11,025 --> 00:56:13,094
[dog barking in distance]

992
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:28,309
[thudding]

993
00:56:51,264 --> 00:56:52,366
Oh, Jesus.

994
00:56:54,400 --> 00:56:56,737
[Russian accent] Transfers you
the greetings, my love!

995
00:57:04,911 --> 00:57:07,648
[dog panting]

996
00:57:12,085 --> 00:57:14,085
What the hell is she doing here?

997
00:57:14,087 --> 00:57:16,690
- Did you tell her to fly over?
- No, Dave, I didn't.

998
00:57:18,092 --> 00:57:19,994
She must've misunderstood me.

999
00:57:22,128 --> 00:57:24,262
Look, I gotta get out of here.

1000
00:57:24,264 --> 00:57:26,434
Just keep here here until, uh...

1001
00:57:27,768 --> 00:57:28,967
until I get back.

1002
00:57:28,969 --> 00:57:30,302
I don't know how long
that's gonna be.

1003
00:57:30,304 --> 00:57:32,304
No problem.

1004
00:57:32,306 --> 00:57:33,838
Does she speak English?

1005
00:57:33,840 --> 00:57:36,377
Your dog, it likes a stroke.

1006
00:57:37,444 --> 00:57:38,946
Okay, we're good.

1007
00:57:44,083 --> 00:57:46,817
Don't worry. I come back.

1008
00:57:46,819 --> 00:57:47,955
Dave...

1009
00:57:49,322 --> 00:57:51,058
good guy.

1010
00:57:55,362 --> 00:57:58,866
[loudly]
What do you do in Russia?

1011
00:58:00,900 --> 00:58:04,069
I work as the seller-advisor.

1012
00:58:04,071 --> 00:58:06,804
To me I like
when people thank if

1013
00:58:06,806 --> 00:58:10,808
I in what that have helped them

1014
00:58:10,810 --> 00:58:13,447
and on them faces smile.

1015
00:58:16,984 --> 00:58:19,416
Listen, do not mess with her.

1016
00:58:19,418 --> 00:58:22,052
Hey, buddy, this is your thing.

1017
00:58:22,054 --> 00:58:23,221
Now go.
[slaps ass]

1018
00:58:23,223 --> 00:58:24,257
Beat it.

1019
00:58:32,498 --> 00:58:35,333
To keep our relationship fresh,
we should go out every week,

1020
00:58:35,335 --> 00:58:37,469
explore the city,
do different things.

1021
00:58:37,471 --> 00:58:39,407
It would be like
a first date each time.

1022
00:58:40,940 --> 00:58:43,340
[Lily]
Special night out every week.

1023
00:58:43,342 --> 00:58:45,143
I haven't had one in years.

1024
00:58:45,145 --> 00:58:46,813
I've earned it. She hasn't.

1025
00:58:48,447 --> 00:58:51,485
All right, fine. Give her
the damn special night out.

1026
00:58:56,522 --> 00:58:57,824
Just...

1027
00:59:03,496 --> 00:59:04,965
Just wait.

1028
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:15,507
I know you wanted
to go out, but...

1029
00:59:15,509 --> 00:59:18,043
Alex... it's beautiful.

1030
00:59:18,045 --> 00:59:19,380
- Yeah?
- Mm-hmm.

1031
00:59:22,516 --> 00:59:25,217
Okay, I'm gonna go check
on the fillets in the oven.

1032
00:59:25,219 --> 00:59:26,851
Fillets? Wow.

1033
00:59:26,853 --> 00:59:29,987
Um, why am I not sneezing?

1034
00:59:29,989 --> 00:59:33,925
Oh, I de-Tuckerized
the whole place.

1035
00:59:33,927 --> 00:59:36,261
Yeah, he's gone for the evening.

1036
00:59:36,263 --> 00:59:39,364
There is no CSI
that could find any evidence

1037
00:59:39,366 --> 00:59:41,034
of canine DNA in here.

1038
00:59:42,168 --> 00:59:43,300
[softly]
Thank you.

1039
00:59:43,302 --> 00:59:44,438
Yeah.

1040
00:59:46,306 --> 00:59:48,109
I'll be just one sec.

1041
01:00:03,924 --> 01:00:05,126
[sniffs]

1042
01:00:06,460 --> 01:00:08,128
[sniffs deeply]

1043
01:00:10,397 --> 01:00:11,833
[exhales]

1044
01:00:13,000 --> 01:00:14,135
Hmm.

1045
01:00:29,148 --> 01:00:31,282
It's from California.

1046
01:00:31,284 --> 01:00:33,617
Heaven. How did you find that?

1047
01:00:33,619 --> 01:00:35,455
I have my ways.

1048
01:00:40,192 --> 01:00:42,128
I don't know
how you pulled this off.

1049
01:00:51,438 --> 01:00:53,538
[clattering]

1050
01:00:53,540 --> 01:00:55,176
- [dog barking in distance]
- What's that?

1051
01:00:57,610 --> 01:00:59,045
Holy shit.

1052
01:01:01,248 --> 01:01:02,447
What's going on?

1053
01:01:02,449 --> 01:01:03,551
No, no, no. Anastasiya.

1054
01:01:05,451 --> 01:01:07,719
Go. Back. Dave. Now.

1055
01:01:07,721 --> 01:01:10,487
I come to here.
Alex tell me.

1056
01:01:10,489 --> 01:01:12,424
- Do you know this girl?
- No, absolutely not.

1057
01:01:12,426 --> 01:01:13,393
But you know her name.

1058
01:01:14,460 --> 01:01:16,695
Okay, I kind of know her.

1059
01:01:16,697 --> 01:01:18,128
Are you having an affair?

1060
01:01:18,130 --> 01:01:20,699
Oh, my God, no. No.

1061
01:01:20,701 --> 01:01:22,333
I was hurt after
you gave me the list.

1062
01:01:22,335 --> 01:01:24,302
I went online just to talk
to somebody.

1063
01:01:24,304 --> 01:01:26,070
- She's from Russia.
- I'm from Russia.

1064
01:01:26,072 --> 01:01:27,237
I never told her to come.

1065
01:01:27,239 --> 01:01:29,373
- He said come.
- No, I didn't say that.

1066
01:01:29,375 --> 01:01:30,507
[speaks Russian]

1067
01:01:30,509 --> 01:01:31,875
I don't understand
what you're saying,

1068
01:01:31,877 --> 01:01:34,378
but you need to get your ass out
of here before I mess you up.

1069
01:01:34,380 --> 01:01:37,181
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
- [gasps] What! Stop!

1070
01:01:37,183 --> 01:01:38,983
- Bitch!
- Hey!

1071
01:01:38,985 --> 01:01:41,251
Russian girl. Think you're trying
to find an American husband.

1072
01:01:41,253 --> 01:01:43,387
- Baby, what are you doing?
- Why aren't you protecting me

1073
01:01:43,389 --> 01:01:45,025
- from this lunatic?
- I am. Just...

1074
01:01:49,196 --> 01:01:51,496
- Get out of here. Now.
- But you said come.

1075
01:01:51,498 --> 01:01:53,297
- Dave.
- Alex, what...

1076
01:01:53,299 --> 01:01:57,335
[shouting in Russian]

1077
01:01:57,337 --> 01:01:58,706
So sorry about that.

1078
01:02:01,475 --> 01:02:05,645
[Katherine panting]

1079
01:02:12,152 --> 01:02:14,451
Okay. I know that was...

1080
01:02:14,453 --> 01:02:15,652
weird.

1081
01:02:15,654 --> 01:02:19,357
A Russian off the Internet?
How tacky.

1082
01:02:19,359 --> 01:02:21,358
I told you,
it was a mistake.

1083
01:02:21,360 --> 01:02:22,694
All right? I'm an idiot.

1084
01:02:22,696 --> 01:02:24,561
Katherine, look,
I'm doing the best I can

1085
01:02:24,563 --> 01:02:26,697
with this stupid list thing.

1086
01:02:26,699 --> 01:02:29,034
In fact, I'm pretty sure
no other guy in the world

1087
01:02:29,036 --> 01:02:30,300
would put himself through this.

1088
01:02:30,302 --> 01:02:32,670
You know, I went against
all of my instincts

1089
01:02:32,672 --> 01:02:34,438
as a man to please you.

1090
01:02:34,440 --> 01:02:36,440
Oh, stupid list?

1091
01:02:36,442 --> 01:02:38,509
You know who inspired
that stupid list?

1092
01:02:38,511 --> 01:02:42,146
Your good old friend
you can't seem to live without.

1093
01:02:42,148 --> 01:02:44,518
Remember my little bedroom talk
with Lily?

1094
01:02:48,054 --> 01:02:50,690
You nailed it. What a wonderful
special night out.

1095
01:02:59,398 --> 01:03:01,132
[Lily] I didn't tell her
to give you the list.

1096
01:03:01,134 --> 01:03:03,634
Okay? I told her that you have
to know what you want in a man

1097
01:03:03,636 --> 01:03:05,672
and maybe write it down.

1098
01:03:09,275 --> 01:03:10,641
Well, that's great.

1099
01:03:10,643 --> 01:03:12,444
So you were
the inspiration then.

1100
01:03:12,446 --> 01:03:13,777
Okay, yes!

1101
01:03:13,779 --> 01:03:15,380
Yes, I was the inspiration,

1102
01:03:15,382 --> 01:03:18,116
- if you want to look at it that way.
- Great.

1103
01:03:18,118 --> 01:03:20,652
I was just trying to help you get
moving 'cause you just sit there.

1104
01:03:20,654 --> 01:03:23,387
- You never make a decision.
- Stop acting like you're my mom.

1105
01:03:23,389 --> 01:03:25,393
- Stop interfering.
- You need me to interfere.

1106
01:03:28,761 --> 01:03:30,163
Oh God.

1107
01:03:31,397 --> 01:03:34,232
Oh, I'm sorry, Alex.
I'm sorry.

1108
01:03:34,234 --> 01:03:36,333
God, I just can't keep
my mouth shut.

1109
01:03:36,335 --> 01:03:38,136
And I do interfere.
It's pathological.

1110
01:03:38,138 --> 01:03:40,838
I can't help myself.
Oh God.

1111
01:03:40,840 --> 01:03:42,540
It's just that
it's too much fun interfering.

1112
01:03:42,542 --> 01:03:43,875
It makes me feel like
I'm part of it.

1113
01:03:43,877 --> 01:03:45,677
Now I fucked up your future
with the perfect girl.

1114
01:03:45,679 --> 01:03:47,314
No, no. No, no, you did not.

1115
01:03:49,315 --> 01:03:50,784
She put chocolate on you
because of this?

1116
01:03:51,884 --> 01:03:54,219
No, the crazy Russian.

1117
01:03:54,221 --> 01:03:56,454
The crazy Russian,
she flew in here,

1118
01:03:56,456 --> 01:03:58,223
found my address,
I don't know how.

1119
01:03:58,225 --> 01:03:59,657
She scared the crap out of me.

1120
01:03:59,659 --> 01:04:01,458
Uh, Dave was supposed
to be watching her,

1121
01:04:01,460 --> 01:04:04,262
but she just burst in the middle
of the dinner with Katherine,

1122
01:04:04,264 --> 01:04:06,163
starts demolishing the place,

1123
01:04:06,165 --> 01:04:07,898
and rubs chocolate
on both of us.

1124
01:04:07,900 --> 01:04:10,603
And now Katherine thinks I've been
having an affair with this girl.

1125
01:04:12,438 --> 01:04:13,871
- [Alex] It's not...
- [both laughing]

1126
01:04:13,873 --> 01:04:15,706
That's the funniest thing ever.

1127
01:04:15,708 --> 01:04:18,279
You should see the dress that...

1128
01:04:19,645 --> 01:04:21,512
I want to know exactly
what's so funny,

1129
01:04:21,514 --> 01:04:23,614
but I already took my pill.

1130
01:04:23,616 --> 01:04:26,150
So, Lily, come to bed.

1131
01:04:26,152 --> 01:04:28,753
And, Alex, you'll stay
in the guest room.

1132
01:04:28,755 --> 01:04:30,090
Okay.

1133
01:04:33,192 --> 01:04:34,328
Good night, honey.

1134
01:04:35,594 --> 01:04:37,330
[both laughing]

1135
01:04:39,165 --> 01:04:40,366
[shushing]

1136
01:05:01,688 --> 01:05:03,190
It's pancake day.

1137
01:05:04,891 --> 01:05:06,193
Okay.

1138
01:05:09,362 --> 01:05:11,362
This Russian sounds wild.

1139
01:05:11,364 --> 01:05:13,400
- Oof.
- I wanna hear every detail.

1140
01:05:14,433 --> 01:05:15,468
But, Alex...

1141
01:05:16,770 --> 01:05:19,237
I think under the circumstances,

1142
01:05:19,239 --> 01:05:21,206
everything is fair game now.

1143
01:05:21,208 --> 01:05:22,507
Who knows
about Katherine, right?

1144
01:05:22,509 --> 01:05:24,478
Who knows what the hell
she's doing.

1145
01:05:25,811 --> 01:05:28,148
If I were you, I would take
a look at this Russian.

1146
01:05:29,281 --> 01:05:30,415
[Russian accent]
A good look.

1147
01:05:30,417 --> 01:05:31,782
[laughing]

1148
01:05:31,784 --> 01:05:33,386
Test the waters.

1149
01:05:48,435 --> 01:05:51,436
For 28 years,
I am living with Mama.

1150
01:05:51,438 --> 01:05:53,904
She works in an agriculture.

1151
01:05:53,906 --> 01:05:55,609
She looks after birds.

1152
01:05:57,009 --> 01:05:58,912
From what you become happy?

1153
01:06:01,014 --> 01:06:04,652
What to give
to your face a smile?

1154
01:06:06,752 --> 01:06:08,321
Alex, tell to me.

1155
01:06:10,623 --> 01:06:11,759
Uh...

1156
01:06:13,025 --> 01:06:14,895
dogs.

1157
01:06:16,429 --> 01:06:17,764
I love for them!

1158
01:06:19,331 --> 01:06:21,969
[classical music playing]

1159
01:06:25,272 --> 01:06:27,775
[indistinct conversations]

1160
01:06:35,514 --> 01:06:36,917
Have you ever been in love?

1161
01:06:41,420 --> 01:06:42,489
Many times.

1162
01:06:43,489 --> 01:06:45,523
But with each relationship,

1163
01:06:45,525 --> 01:06:47,625
your idea of love changes.

1164
01:06:47,627 --> 01:06:48,929
And I think that's a good thing.

1165
01:06:51,831 --> 01:06:54,835
I will have
the chicken parmigiano.

1166
01:06:55,902 --> 01:06:57,402
That-That's not Italian.

1167
01:06:57,404 --> 01:06:58,802
Of course it is.

1168
01:06:58,804 --> 01:07:00,438
[Italian accent]
Chicken parmigiano.

1169
01:07:00,440 --> 01:07:01,471
[both chuckle]

1170
01:07:01,473 --> 01:07:02,974
Uh, no, I mean,

1171
01:07:02,976 --> 01:07:05,576
an Italian would never take
a chicken, fry it,

1172
01:07:05,578 --> 01:07:08,012
and put a lot of sauce
and melted cheese on it.

1173
01:07:08,014 --> 01:07:09,450
That's just not
an Italian dish.

1174
01:07:10,583 --> 01:07:12,817
It is to me.
I think it's delicious.

1175
01:07:12,819 --> 01:07:14,819
It's our best-selling dish, sir.

1176
01:07:14,821 --> 01:07:16,688
Well...

1177
01:07:16,690 --> 01:07:19,023
I wouldn't order it.

1178
01:07:19,025 --> 01:07:21,262
I'm sure there's
better things on this menu.

1179
01:07:22,594 --> 01:07:23,930
Wh-Where's your chef from?

1180
01:07:25,031 --> 01:07:27,565
Seems like Northern Italy.

1181
01:07:27,567 --> 01:07:29,036
He's from Mexico.

1182
01:07:30,869 --> 01:07:33,337
So this is American food?

1183
01:07:33,339 --> 01:07:35,275
In that case,
I will have, um,

1184
01:07:36,442 --> 01:07:37,710
New York strip, medium rare.

1185
01:07:39,913 --> 01:07:41,878
Chicken parmigiano.

1186
01:07:41,880 --> 01:07:42,681
[Katherine clears throat]

1187
01:07:44,717 --> 01:07:46,650
I'm sorry, Katherine,
but in Italy...

1188
01:07:46,652 --> 01:07:48,920
I know, everything in Italy
is superior.

1189
01:07:48,922 --> 01:07:51,054
Guess we're not as persnickety
about our food

1190
01:07:51,056 --> 01:07:52,824
because we're so busy
being a superpower.

1191
01:07:52,826 --> 01:07:55,393
For example, in America,
we do not take a nap

1192
01:07:55,395 --> 01:07:57,128
from 2 to 4 p.m.
because we think it's lazy

1193
01:07:57,130 --> 01:07:58,895
and bad for business.

1194
01:07:58,897 --> 01:08:02,535
By the way, how are
the eyeglasses selling?

1195
01:08:04,938 --> 01:08:07,407
You're upset because
it didn't work out with Alex.

1196
01:08:13,045 --> 01:08:15,381
You're right. I'm sorry.

1197
01:08:19,619 --> 01:08:21,786
I know you, Katherine.

1198
01:08:21,788 --> 01:08:23,054
You're a woman
who needs to experience

1199
01:08:23,056 --> 01:08:24,924
the best in life.

1200
01:08:27,794 --> 01:08:29,663
And I can give you this.

1201
01:08:37,971 --> 01:08:39,772
I am never getting married.

1202
01:08:41,173 --> 01:08:43,573
I made that choice
a long time ago.

1203
01:08:43,575 --> 01:08:45,044
Makes my life a lot easier.

1204
01:08:49,481 --> 01:08:51,616
I'm gonna pawn it.

1205
01:08:51,618 --> 01:08:53,818
You'll regret it.

1206
01:08:53,820 --> 01:08:55,723
Antique rings aren't worth
what you think.

1207
01:08:56,856 --> 01:08:58,559
Nothing's worth
what you think.

1208
01:08:59,659 --> 01:09:00,861
Hey, Alex,
can I tell you something?

1209
01:09:02,027 --> 01:09:03,528
The reason you can't go
the distance

1210
01:09:03,530 --> 01:09:04,630
with Katherine is that...

1211
01:09:06,199 --> 01:09:09,167
well, she expects
more than a dog.

1212
01:09:09,169 --> 01:09:12,670
I mean, you love dogs
because it's a one-way street.

1213
01:09:12,672 --> 01:09:15,042
You know,
it's unconditional love.

1214
01:09:17,811 --> 01:09:19,545
Don't pawn this.

1215
01:09:21,013 --> 01:09:22,815
You don't wanna end up like me.

1216
01:09:44,204 --> 01:09:46,871
Who is this hot piece of ass

1217
01:09:46,873 --> 01:09:48,842
putting holes in my grass?

1218
01:10:02,021 --> 01:10:03,056
Katherine.

1219
01:10:04,857 --> 01:10:06,224
Welcome to my park.

1220
01:10:06,226 --> 01:10:07,795
Uh, she's allergic to dogs.

1221
01:10:09,995 --> 01:10:11,095
Well...

1222
01:10:11,097 --> 01:10:13,200
then she shouldn't come here.

1223
01:10:25,044 --> 01:10:27,577
Let's get you out of here before
your face turns purple and blows up.

1224
01:10:27,579 --> 01:10:30,046
Wait, I wanna
show you something.

1225
01:10:30,048 --> 01:10:31,282
It's a prescription.

1226
01:10:31,284 --> 01:10:33,786
It will reduce my allergy
by 90 percent.

1227
01:10:35,288 --> 01:10:37,287
And this you'll like.

1228
01:10:37,289 --> 01:10:39,524
There's injections too.

1229
01:10:39,526 --> 01:10:40,791
And you can do the honors.

1230
01:10:40,793 --> 01:10:42,527
I think you've gotten
very good at that by now.

1231
01:10:42,529 --> 01:10:44,628
[chuckles] They already
gave me my first shot,

1232
01:10:44,630 --> 01:10:46,999
and-and I think
it's starting to kick in.

1233
01:10:57,043 --> 01:10:58,242
Oh, my God.

1234
01:10:58,244 --> 01:11:01,077
- It was my grandmother's.
- It's gorgeous.

1235
01:11:01,079 --> 01:11:03,581
- [growling]
- [Katherine grunts]

1236
01:11:03,583 --> 01:11:05,248
- I kill you, bitch!
- [Katherine screaming]

1237
01:11:05,250 --> 01:11:06,917
- Hey!
- [Katherine] What the hell!

1238
01:11:06,919 --> 01:11:08,219
- Hey!
- [Katherine] God, help me!

1239
01:11:08,221 --> 01:11:09,720
- Get off of her!
- [shouting in Russian]

1240
01:11:09,722 --> 01:11:11,087
Get off of her!

1241
01:11:11,089 --> 01:11:12,924
Look!

1242
01:11:12,926 --> 01:11:15,062
Stop it! Listen to me!
Stop it!

1243
01:11:17,664 --> 01:11:20,230
[Dave] I got her!
I got her! I got her!

1244
01:11:20,232 --> 01:11:21,698
Where the hell
have you been, Dave?

1245
01:11:21,700 --> 01:11:24,335
I thought you had strict orders to
keep this lunatic under lockdown.

1246
01:11:24,337 --> 01:11:26,604
You enjoying this?
Is this making you happy?

1247
01:11:26,606 --> 01:11:29,340
Alex just proposed to me,
and you've ruined it.

1248
01:11:29,342 --> 01:11:31,141
What a great friend you are.

1249
01:11:31,143 --> 01:11:33,310
Oh God, look at
my Louis Vuitton boots.

1250
01:11:33,312 --> 01:11:35,345
- Oh, no.
- I'll buy you another pair.

1251
01:11:35,347 --> 01:11:36,646
You can't afford them.

1252
01:11:36,648 --> 01:11:38,114
You always this much
of a bitch?

1253
01:11:38,116 --> 01:11:40,150
[Anastasiya shouting in Russian]

1254
01:11:40,152 --> 01:11:42,219
Nyet! Nyet! [speaks Russian]

1255
01:11:42,221 --> 01:11:44,588
Dave, stop!
Just get her out of here!

1256
01:11:44,590 --> 01:11:45,855
All right?
I'll talk to you later.

1257
01:11:45,857 --> 01:11:46,957
I gotta deal with this.

1258
01:11:46,959 --> 01:11:48,594
Go! Get her out of here!

1259
01:11:50,262 --> 01:11:53,199
[shouting in Russian]

1260
01:11:54,200 --> 01:11:56,069
This is bullshit!

1261
01:12:01,273 --> 01:12:03,877
Oh. Okay. It's okay.

1262
01:12:04,877 --> 01:12:05,978
We got it.

1263
01:12:07,213 --> 01:12:09,346
- All right.
- Yeah.

1264
01:12:09,348 --> 01:12:12,248
Uh, yeah, I wouldn't...
I wouldn't put that on.

1265
01:12:12,250 --> 01:12:14,820
[panting]

1266
01:12:18,725 --> 01:12:20,561
I'm not a bitch.

1267
01:12:22,128 --> 01:12:23,597
[laughing]
Oh, no.

1268
01:12:26,898 --> 01:12:29,303
♪ ♪

1269
01:12:35,842 --> 01:12:38,145
[Anastasiya moaning]

1270
01:12:55,828 --> 01:12:57,193
My God is alive,

1271
01:12:57,195 --> 01:12:59,296
and I believe that
he would see me through this.

1272
01:12:59,298 --> 01:13:01,032
And I would surprise you

1273
01:13:01,034 --> 01:13:02,433
when I'm out of you

1274
01:13:02,435 --> 01:13:03,900
to let you know that

1275
01:13:03,902 --> 01:13:06,106
you just messed yourself up,
not me.

1276
01:13:07,973 --> 01:13:09,241
I worry for you.

1277
01:13:12,844 --> 01:13:13,946
Much luck.

1278
01:13:25,258 --> 01:13:27,761
Alex, people judge you
by the friends you keep.

1279
01:13:32,365 --> 01:13:36,000
[Alex] Uh, it's "Replace male
friend who is a bad influence."

1280
01:13:36,002 --> 01:13:37,868
[Dave]
You mean me?

1281
01:13:37,870 --> 01:13:39,239
Uh, fuck her.

1282
01:13:56,222 --> 01:13:57,954
Honey,

1283
01:13:57,956 --> 01:14:00,123
you know I can't possibly
stay for this,

1284
01:14:00,125 --> 01:14:01,395
but Gary will be right here.

1285
01:14:06,164 --> 01:14:07,965
Look how beautiful it is.

1286
01:14:07,967 --> 01:14:10,201
- Hmm.
- No smell, no...

1287
01:14:10,203 --> 01:14:11,935
no residue of anything.

1288
01:14:11,937 --> 01:14:13,203
Hmm.

1289
01:14:13,205 --> 01:14:15,005
My mom went crazy.
She loved it.

1290
01:14:15,007 --> 01:14:16,442
My dad was so impressed.

1291
01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:29,052
I'll be right outside.

1292
01:14:29,054 --> 01:14:30,089
Okay.

1293
01:14:43,436 --> 01:14:45,138
I really need to talk to you.

1294
01:14:47,005 --> 01:14:48,008
Can it wait?

1295
01:14:50,209 --> 01:14:51,411
Of course.

1296
01:14:53,445 --> 01:14:54,714
Word of advice.

1297
01:14:55,947 --> 01:14:58,752
Stay soft.

1298
01:15:00,119 --> 01:15:01,822
- Okay, Gary.
- [door opening]

1299
01:15:11,396 --> 01:15:12,498
It's from the waist down.

1300
01:15:14,133 --> 01:15:15,268
Oh.

1301
01:15:23,543 --> 01:15:25,176
Ah, sit, sit, sit.

1302
01:15:25,178 --> 01:15:26,847
- It's all right.
- [Alex] Okay.

1303
01:15:31,551 --> 01:15:33,951
Not to worry.

1304
01:15:33,953 --> 01:15:37,086
I'm going to numb
the coronal skin

1305
01:15:37,088 --> 01:15:38,792
around the head
of your penis.

1306
01:15:40,258 --> 01:15:44,028
If you become erect,
it's perfectly normal.

1307
01:15:44,030 --> 01:15:45,965
One prick and we're all done.

1308
01:15:57,509 --> 01:15:59,913
Oh, uh... Hmm...
[clears throat]

1309
01:16:02,581 --> 01:16:04,049
[exhales forcefully]

1310
01:16:05,051 --> 01:16:06,319
[mutters]
My parents having sex.

1311
01:16:09,454 --> 01:16:11,123
My grandparents are having sex.

1312
01:16:13,292 --> 01:16:15,161
My parents are having sex
with my grandparents.

1313
01:16:29,241 --> 01:16:30,476
[thuds]

1314
01:16:35,313 --> 01:16:36,512
Did it hurt?

1315
01:16:36,514 --> 01:16:38,317
No, the mohel had, uh...

1316
01:16:39,951 --> 01:16:41,120
good hands.

1317
01:16:43,255 --> 01:16:44,257
Thank you.

1318
01:16:46,124 --> 01:16:47,127
Thank you.

1319
01:16:48,227 --> 01:16:49,296
Thank you.

1320
01:16:50,463 --> 01:16:51,464
Thank you.

1321
01:16:52,464 --> 01:16:53,465
Thank you.

1322
01:16:54,467 --> 01:16:55,835
Gary passed out.

1323
01:17:02,475 --> 01:17:03,877
[Gary retching]

1324
01:17:05,011 --> 01:17:06,012
Alex.

1325
01:17:08,079 --> 01:17:09,114
It's too late.

1326
01:17:10,115 --> 01:17:12,149
I'm a Jew.

1327
01:17:12,151 --> 01:17:13,320
Not quite yet, Shlomo.

1328
01:17:14,654 --> 01:17:17,186
Jesus! I have
to call you Shlomo?

1329
01:17:17,188 --> 01:17:20,024
It's my new second middle name.

1330
01:17:20,026 --> 01:17:22,128
[scoffs]
I need a drink.

1331
01:17:24,664 --> 01:17:27,197
[Katherine] Forget the cliche
of drinking with friends.

1332
01:17:27,199 --> 01:17:29,201
Pairing wine with food
and all that crap.

1333
01:17:30,201 --> 01:17:32,403
It's the sensual part of liquor.

1334
01:17:32,405 --> 01:17:34,305
Like being kissed.

1335
01:17:34,307 --> 01:17:37,174
That first sip rushes
to your thighs,

1336
01:17:37,176 --> 01:17:38,574
the warm release of pleasure,

1337
01:17:38,576 --> 01:17:40,614
and suddenly everything is okay.

1338
01:17:42,181 --> 01:17:43,884
I wanna share that with you.

1339
01:17:44,984 --> 01:17:46,984
[woman laughing]

1340
01:17:46,986 --> 01:17:49,322
[jazz music playing]

1341
01:17:53,526 --> 01:17:55,295
The main purpose of alcohol...

1342
01:17:56,728 --> 01:17:58,162
it's your lifeline.

1343
01:17:58,164 --> 01:18:00,596
It will help you
through anything.

1344
01:18:00,598 --> 01:18:04,404
Marriage, children,
work... women.

1345
01:18:06,539 --> 01:18:09,305
Scotch is the most
important drink.

1346
01:18:09,307 --> 01:18:12,042
If you're out with a coworker,
you order scotch. Neat.

1347
01:18:12,044 --> 01:18:13,743
Doesn't matter what kind.

1348
01:18:13,745 --> 01:18:16,046
If you're with a boss or client,

1349
01:18:16,048 --> 01:18:18,482
you ask for a Macallan 12.

1350
01:18:18,484 --> 01:18:19,552
Let me show you the difference.

1351
01:18:25,223 --> 01:18:26,458
[sighs]

1352
01:18:31,364 --> 01:18:32,499
Oh.

1353
01:18:35,034 --> 01:18:36,303
Now...

1354
01:18:37,703 --> 01:18:39,438
the Macallan.

1355
01:18:50,115 --> 01:18:51,083
Smooth.

1356
01:18:52,618 --> 01:18:54,154
You have a good palate.

1357
01:19:00,026 --> 01:19:02,162
[slurping]

1358
01:19:03,562 --> 01:19:04,664
Mmm.

1359
01:19:06,432 --> 01:19:08,165
I do feel that in my thighs.

1360
01:19:08,167 --> 01:19:09,169
She was right.

1361
01:19:10,535 --> 01:19:13,470
That's a saketini, cosmopolitan,

1362
01:19:13,472 --> 01:19:15,538
lemon drop, pomegranate martini.

1363
01:19:15,540 --> 01:19:18,177
- Hmm.
- All these drinks are pretty...

1364
01:19:20,111 --> 01:19:21,412
gay.

1365
01:19:21,414 --> 01:19:22,715
But for some reason,
women love it.

1366
01:19:25,450 --> 01:19:27,020
[sighs]

1367
01:19:28,721 --> 01:19:30,522
You know what my favorite part
of the day is?

1368
01:19:31,790 --> 01:19:34,293
Picking Nicky up from school.

1369
01:19:35,326 --> 01:19:37,226
There's this moment

1370
01:19:37,228 --> 01:19:39,363
where he comes
out of the classroom,

1371
01:19:39,365 --> 01:19:41,131
he runs over
and gives me that hug...

1372
01:19:41,133 --> 01:19:42,402
Hey. Hey.

1373
01:19:44,669 --> 01:19:46,205
It's my kid.

1374
01:19:47,639 --> 01:19:50,509
You can't poach
another man's family, Alex.

1375
01:19:52,645 --> 01:19:54,246
Go get your own.

1376
01:19:57,249 --> 01:19:58,218
I am.

1377
01:19:59,552 --> 01:20:01,321
I proposed to Katherine.

1378
01:20:02,855 --> 01:20:04,854
Bullshit.

1379
01:20:04,856 --> 01:20:07,426
I gave her a ring
with dog shit on it.

1380
01:20:08,861 --> 01:20:10,196
Good job.

1381
01:20:11,563 --> 01:20:13,566
Because you were starting
to piss me off.

1382
01:20:15,101 --> 01:20:17,568
Every time I open the door,
there you are,

1383
01:20:17,570 --> 01:20:20,369
on my couch, eating my food,

1384
01:20:20,371 --> 01:20:22,741
showing Nicky how cool you are
with the boxing and the magic.

1385
01:20:24,209 --> 01:20:26,275
But this is great.

1386
01:20:26,277 --> 01:20:27,379
Yeah.

1387
01:20:28,414 --> 01:20:29,749
Let's drink to Katherine.

1388
01:20:33,451 --> 01:20:36,787
Thank you, God, for Katherine.

1389
01:20:36,789 --> 01:20:38,124
[bottles clink]

1390
01:20:50,835 --> 01:20:53,338
♪ ♪

1391
01:21:02,313 --> 01:21:05,317
[panting]

1392
01:21:10,655 --> 01:21:11,690
So...

1393
01:21:13,491 --> 01:21:15,225
you're Jewish,

1394
01:21:15,227 --> 01:21:17,497
a drinker, and getting married.

1395
01:21:19,898 --> 01:21:21,334
I guess so.

1396
01:21:22,834 --> 01:21:24,868
Well, who's gonna be
your best man?

1397
01:21:24,870 --> 01:21:26,473
- Me?
- [both laugh]

1398
01:21:29,642 --> 01:21:32,278
Uh, I don't know. I haven't
really thought about it.

1399
01:21:33,411 --> 01:21:35,746
Well, you better start.

1400
01:21:35,748 --> 01:21:38,118
Because now is when it starts
to get really fun.

1401
01:21:39,218 --> 01:21:40,787
All the attention
is gonna be on you.

1402
01:21:44,190 --> 01:21:45,822
I'm glad

1403
01:21:45,824 --> 01:21:48,194
I was the inspiration
for Katherine's list.

1404
01:21:51,362 --> 01:21:52,798
[chuckling]
I love you.

1405
01:21:53,932 --> 01:21:55,498
[both laughing]

1406
01:21:55,500 --> 01:21:57,169
- [Alex] It's gonna be okay.
- Yeah.

1407
01:21:59,605 --> 01:22:00,970
Really fun.

1408
01:22:00,972 --> 01:22:02,808
- Yeah.
- Just like you said.

1409
01:22:04,709 --> 01:22:05,844
I promise.

1410
01:22:08,746 --> 01:22:10,881
Hey, bud. You ready?

1411
01:22:10,883 --> 01:22:12,381
Yeah.

1412
01:22:12,383 --> 01:22:13,716
Be careful with my boy.

1413
01:22:13,718 --> 01:22:14,786
Okay.

1414
01:22:16,888 --> 01:22:18,391
[door opens]

1415
01:22:21,259 --> 01:22:22,494
[door closes]

1416
01:22:31,837 --> 01:22:35,538
It's like being in the cockpit
of your own fighter jet.

1417
01:22:35,540 --> 01:22:37,674
It's sleek
and technically advanced

1418
01:22:37,676 --> 01:22:40,711
with ultimate power
at your fingertips.

1419
01:22:40,713 --> 01:22:43,846
Once you feel that torque,
you will never go back.

1420
01:22:43,848 --> 01:22:45,881
You and Tucker deserve that.

1421
01:22:45,883 --> 01:22:47,484
It's respect on the road.

1422
01:22:47,486 --> 01:22:50,386
People will think twice
before messing with you.

1423
01:22:50,388 --> 01:22:52,322
That's the real beauty.

1424
01:22:52,324 --> 01:22:53,860
[engine roaring]

1425
01:23:05,637 --> 01:23:06,838
[engine shuts off]

1426
01:23:10,409 --> 01:23:12,576
- Nicky, don't touch that.
- He can touch whatever he wants.

1427
01:23:12,578 --> 01:23:14,877
Come on, grab the wheel.

1428
01:23:14,879 --> 01:23:17,546
Grab it! Squeeze it!

1429
01:23:17,548 --> 01:23:18,614
Yeah.

1430
01:23:18,616 --> 01:23:20,751
That's the power.

1431
01:23:20,753 --> 01:23:22,222
It's a game-changer, bruh.

1432
01:23:23,621 --> 01:23:25,956
Why don't we take it
for a spin?

1433
01:23:25,958 --> 01:23:27,326
Uh...

1434
01:23:33,398 --> 01:23:34,965
I can't. I mean, I got the kid.

1435
01:23:34,967 --> 01:23:36,366
You don't have to go fast.

1436
01:23:36,368 --> 01:23:37,637
Let's go fast.

1437
01:23:38,803 --> 01:23:40,272
Listen to your kid.

1438
01:23:42,374 --> 01:23:44,006
He's not my kid.

1439
01:23:44,008 --> 01:23:45,645
Oh. Why's he here?

1440
01:23:47,679 --> 01:23:49,615
I wanted to get his opinion.

1441
01:23:54,085 --> 01:23:55,618
And what do you think,
little man?

1442
01:23:55,620 --> 01:23:57,453
Let's buy it.

1443
01:23:57,455 --> 01:23:59,558
There you go. Let's make a deal.

1444
01:24:25,116 --> 01:24:27,551
You-You know what?
I'm worried about your dog.

1445
01:24:27,553 --> 01:24:29,485
- Uh... Enzo.
- What?

1446
01:24:29,487 --> 01:24:31,354
He felt heavy,
uh, the other day.

1447
01:24:31,356 --> 01:24:32,889
Like a half pound over.
Am I right?

1448
01:24:32,891 --> 01:24:34,024
He's a little heavier.

1449
01:24:34,026 --> 01:24:35,524
But I've been controlling
the portions

1450
01:24:35,526 --> 01:24:36,792
just like you told me.

1451
01:24:36,794 --> 01:24:38,761
[Alex] I don't know.
Maybe you should show me

1452
01:24:38,763 --> 01:24:40,497
what you're feeding him.

1453
01:24:40,499 --> 01:24:42,431
I mean, if he is,
that could be really...

1454
01:24:42,433 --> 01:24:43,703
[Nicky]
Whoo!

1455
01:24:44,870 --> 01:24:46,039
[Alex]
You know?

1456
01:24:48,539 --> 01:24:51,774
[indistinct]

1457
01:24:51,776 --> 01:24:53,378
- [car crashes]
- [Nicky screams]

1458
01:24:57,383 --> 01:24:58,715
[doctor] CT scan
came up negative.

1459
01:24:58,717 --> 01:24:59,852
He's lucky.

1460
01:25:01,587 --> 01:25:02,818
My God.

1461
01:25:02,820 --> 01:25:04,387
My God, honey, are you okay?

1462
01:25:04,389 --> 01:25:06,756
- Yeah, I'm fine.
- Is he gonna be okay?

1463
01:25:06,758 --> 01:25:09,059
He's gonna be fine.
It's just a few bruises.

1464
01:25:09,061 --> 01:25:11,627
- [sighs]
- Good thing it was a Porsche.

1465
01:25:11,629 --> 01:25:13,365
It's like a tank.
I have two myself.

1466
01:25:18,904 --> 01:25:20,005
Alex.

1467
01:25:22,141 --> 01:25:23,643
It was an accident.

1468
01:25:30,615 --> 01:25:32,582
[Alex]
It's my fault.

1469
01:25:32,584 --> 01:25:34,050
[Michael]
Hey,

1470
01:25:34,052 --> 01:25:35,185
we all make mistakes.

1471
01:25:35,187 --> 01:25:36,856
So don't beat yourself up.

1472
01:25:38,456 --> 01:25:39,622
Everything's okay.

1473
01:25:39,624 --> 01:25:41,127
No, it's not okay.

1474
01:25:47,766 --> 01:25:50,103
[Lily talking indistinctly]

1475
01:25:55,907 --> 01:25:57,174
I don't know
what the hell I'm doing.

1476
01:25:57,176 --> 01:25:58,977
I have no idea
what the hell I'm doing.

1477
01:26:00,145 --> 01:26:03,212
My dependency on this family
is so unhealthy.

1478
01:26:03,214 --> 01:26:04,547
And this list...

1479
01:26:04,549 --> 01:26:06,485
Slow down. Take a seat.

1480
01:26:12,557 --> 01:26:14,757
These are separate issues.

1481
01:26:14,759 --> 01:26:16,091
First...

1482
01:26:16,093 --> 01:26:17,163
Nicky is fine.

1483
01:26:18,963 --> 01:26:20,997
Every family makes
a mistake like this.

1484
01:26:20,999 --> 01:26:23,867
You looked away for one moment.

1485
01:26:23,869 --> 01:26:26,936
You dependency on this family,
that is a problem.

1486
01:26:26,938 --> 01:26:28,238
I need to back off.

1487
01:26:28,240 --> 01:26:31,475
Yes, you do. But not just
for them, for you.

1488
01:26:31,477 --> 01:26:33,076
You're hanging on to them
for dear life.

1489
01:26:33,078 --> 01:26:34,911
You're like a swimmer
who's drowning.

1490
01:26:34,913 --> 01:26:36,782
Don't drown them.
Don't drown yourself.

1491
01:26:39,116 --> 01:26:40,753
And the list...

1492
01:26:42,855 --> 01:26:45,921
Take time to explore
what you have with Katherine.

1493
01:26:45,923 --> 01:26:48,225
It's silly, but use
the list as a catalyst

1494
01:26:48,227 --> 01:26:51,130
to move your relationship
to the next level.

1495
01:26:52,830 --> 01:26:55,567
[sighs]

1496
01:26:59,804 --> 01:27:02,238
How did you find
your bashert?

1497
01:27:02,240 --> 01:27:03,672
Ah, you've been studying, hmm?

1498
01:27:03,674 --> 01:27:04,709
Bashert.

1499
01:27:07,545 --> 01:27:09,115
Well...
[chuckles]

1500
01:27:11,215 --> 01:27:12,651
With my Miriam...

1501
01:27:14,652 --> 01:27:17,052
it started out hot and heavy.

1502
01:27:17,054 --> 01:27:19,525
And after a while,
I started to become bored.

1503
01:27:21,259 --> 01:27:23,762
And then one night,
we really...

1504
01:27:24,795 --> 01:27:26,499
started to talk.

1505
01:27:28,734 --> 01:27:32,234
I learned that she had
a great family.

1506
01:27:32,236 --> 01:27:34,637
We realized that we had
similar morals,

1507
01:27:34,639 --> 01:27:36,640
which made it easy
for us to get along

1508
01:27:36,642 --> 01:27:37,844
and to have fun.

1509
01:27:38,944 --> 01:27:40,810
She didn't hold back,

1510
01:27:40,812 --> 01:27:42,615
and I didn't hold back.

1511
01:27:47,285 --> 01:27:50,155
And for the first time
in my life, Alex, I-I felt...

1512
01:27:52,257 --> 01:27:55,561
completely able to be myself.

1513
01:27:56,762 --> 01:27:58,030
I felt freer.

1514
01:28:00,264 --> 01:28:03,235
I felt freer with her than I
ever had as a single man.

1515
01:28:05,803 --> 01:28:08,173
We have
an authentic relationship.

1516
01:28:10,208 --> 01:28:12,578
And this is what you should have
with Katherine.

1517
01:28:14,279 --> 01:28:17,881
This is the foundation that
we built our relationship on.

1518
01:28:17,883 --> 01:28:20,116
But you have to do this
without family interference,

1519
01:28:20,118 --> 01:28:21,888
without all the bells
and whistles.

1520
01:28:23,722 --> 01:28:25,157
Friends, money...

1521
01:28:27,793 --> 01:28:29,094
This is what I wish for you.

1522
01:28:30,861 --> 01:28:31,897
Hmm.

1523
01:28:32,931 --> 01:28:34,200
Don't settle for anything less.

1524
01:28:35,200 --> 01:28:37,537
[crickets chirping]

1525
01:28:59,825 --> 01:29:02,895
[panting]

1526
01:29:08,400 --> 01:29:11,804
Whoo!

1527
01:29:15,339 --> 01:29:17,944
[woman]
Whoo!

1528
01:29:30,321 --> 01:29:31,757
Whoo?

1529
01:29:35,326 --> 01:29:36,695
[woman]
Whoo!

1530
01:29:42,868 --> 01:29:45,638
Whoo-woop!

1531
01:29:49,040 --> 01:29:51,776
[woman]
Whoo-woop!

1532
01:30:08,325 --> 01:30:11,060
Lead me in the path
of righteousness.

1533
01:30:11,062 --> 01:30:14,363
Help me use my abilities
to repair this broken world.

1534
01:30:14,365 --> 01:30:17,033
Help me ease and gladden

1535
01:30:17,035 --> 01:30:18,971
the lives of those I cherish.

1536
01:30:33,185 --> 01:30:34,783
This is your mikveh.

1537
01:30:34,785 --> 01:30:36,019
Regardless of what happens,

1538
01:30:36,021 --> 01:30:38,424
it will always be
a source of comfort.

1539
01:30:40,959 --> 01:30:42,261
This is for you.

1540
01:30:50,835 --> 01:30:52,370
That took chutzpah.

1541
01:31:03,414 --> 01:31:05,850
Hey, you all right?

1542
01:31:08,219 --> 01:31:10,789
You shouldn't have to take shots
for the rest of your life.

1543
01:31:15,893 --> 01:31:17,163
I gave Tucker away.

1544
01:31:18,329 --> 01:31:19,364
Alex.

1545
01:31:20,965 --> 01:31:22,468
I'm so sorry.

1546
01:31:27,138 --> 01:31:29,441
It's... probably
the right thing to do.

1547
01:31:39,151 --> 01:31:41,053
I can't get Gary
out of the pool.

1548
01:31:56,200 --> 01:31:59,504
[Gary gasping]

1549
01:32:03,275 --> 01:32:04,744
Hey, man.

1550
01:32:05,843 --> 01:32:06,978
You doing okay?

1551
01:32:08,413 --> 01:32:09,482
I don't know.

1552
01:32:13,884 --> 01:32:15,120
Is it Rhonda?

1553
01:32:17,388 --> 01:32:18,523
Yes.

1554
01:32:21,058 --> 01:32:21,959
Cold feet?

1555
01:32:26,030 --> 01:32:27,365
This is more than cold feet.

1556
01:32:28,933 --> 01:32:30,168
I'm not attracted to her.

1557
01:32:31,535 --> 01:32:33,271
I don't like the way she smells.

1558
01:32:35,206 --> 01:32:36,374
Rhonda's garlicky.

1559
01:32:37,875 --> 01:32:39,408
It's reciprocal.

1560
01:32:39,410 --> 01:32:41,079
My last girlfriend was musty.

1561
01:32:43,181 --> 01:32:45,451
You'll, um...
You'll get used to it.

1562
01:32:47,384 --> 01:32:49,187
She's not into
the way I smell either.

1563
01:32:50,422 --> 01:32:52,255
And the way
she drinks her coffee?

1564
01:32:52,257 --> 01:32:53,989
[slurps loudly]

1565
01:32:53,991 --> 01:32:56,128
[coughing]

1566
01:32:59,030 --> 01:33:00,965
You're focusing
on the wrong stuff, man.

1567
01:33:02,433 --> 01:33:04,266
That's nothing, right?

1568
01:33:04,268 --> 01:33:07,205
You guys laugh together?
Is the sex good?

1569
01:33:10,609 --> 01:33:11,877
Great sex.

1570
01:33:12,977 --> 01:33:14,243
And we laugh.
[chuckles]

1571
01:33:14,245 --> 01:33:15,380
Good.

1572
01:33:17,249 --> 01:33:19,585
But we don't laugh
at the same things.

1573
01:33:22,053 --> 01:33:23,989
She laughs
while we're having sex.

1574
01:33:26,423 --> 01:33:28,026
It's weird.

1575
01:33:31,529 --> 01:33:33,464
Well, Rhonda can't change
her smell, Gary.

1576
01:33:44,476 --> 01:33:46,312
[shouting indistinctly]

1577
01:34:03,695 --> 01:34:04,864
Hey.

1578
01:34:06,463 --> 01:34:08,197
Hey. Hey.

1579
01:34:08,199 --> 01:34:10,335
[panting]

1580
01:34:24,148 --> 01:34:27,419
I just can't stand watching
how sad you've been.

1581
01:34:28,652 --> 01:34:31,056
This is in no way
meant to replace Tucker.

1582
01:34:41,633 --> 01:34:43,232
[meowing]

1583
01:34:43,234 --> 01:34:44,570
I'm not allergic to cats.

1584
01:34:47,739 --> 01:34:49,572
It's...

1585
01:34:49,574 --> 01:34:50,640
It's cute.

1586
01:34:50,642 --> 01:34:51,977
[meowing]

1587
01:34:53,745 --> 01:34:55,744
You okay?

1588
01:34:55,746 --> 01:34:56,915
I'm okay.

1589
01:34:58,450 --> 01:35:00,216
Gary's wedding will be
a good diversion.

1590
01:35:00,218 --> 01:35:01,751
We should make it fun.

1591
01:35:01,753 --> 01:35:03,455
[meows]

1592
01:35:06,523 --> 01:35:09,160
♪ ♪

1593
01:35:14,199 --> 01:35:16,067
[purring]

1594
01:35:18,003 --> 01:35:20,168
♪ Take me to the docks ♪

1595
01:35:20,170 --> 01:35:23,271
♪ There's a ship
without a name there ♪

1596
01:35:23,273 --> 01:35:27,245
♪ And it's sailing
to the middle of the sea ♪

1597
01:35:37,121 --> 01:35:38,958
[Alex] I got the cat to sit
with me for a few minutes.

1598
01:35:39,758 --> 01:35:41,556
You're bonding.

1599
01:35:41,558 --> 01:35:42,658
No way.

1600
01:35:42,660 --> 01:35:44,760
That's great.

1601
01:35:44,762 --> 01:35:46,998
- [door opens]
- Oh, my God. It's that lunatic.

1602
01:35:48,133 --> 01:35:50,533
It's okay. I am not attack.

1603
01:35:50,535 --> 01:35:53,105
Dave is needing
to be sorry to you.

1604
01:35:54,705 --> 01:35:56,805
To him, it hard talk

1605
01:35:56,807 --> 01:35:59,375
emotional shit in your face.

1606
01:35:59,377 --> 01:36:00,611
Just keep her away from me.

1607
01:36:01,612 --> 01:36:03,449
Sorry I had sex with Anastasiya.

1608
01:36:05,450 --> 01:36:08,253
And, Katherine,
you are not a bitch.

1609
01:36:10,588 --> 01:36:11,590
Ha!

1610
01:36:20,632 --> 01:36:22,067
- [Dave chuckles]
- Wow!

1611
01:36:23,601 --> 01:36:24,603
Dave...

1612
01:36:26,570 --> 01:36:27,605
Oh.

1613
01:36:29,706 --> 01:36:31,440
Oh...
[chuckles]

1614
01:36:31,442 --> 01:36:32,444
Thank you.

1615
01:36:33,445 --> 01:36:34,612
- You should try them on.
- Okay.

1616
01:36:37,382 --> 01:36:40,248
I am sorry I jump your body.

1617
01:36:40,250 --> 01:36:41,520
Oh, don't worry about it.

1618
01:36:42,587 --> 01:36:43,589
We okay?

1619
01:36:44,655 --> 01:36:45,757
Hey, yeah.

1620
01:36:50,128 --> 01:36:51,760
[Rabbi Baskin] As you share
this one cup of wine,

1621
01:36:51,762 --> 01:36:54,332
you undertake all
the future brings.

1622
01:36:56,234 --> 01:36:59,202
All the sweetness life brings
will be that much sweeter

1623
01:36:59,204 --> 01:37:01,040
because you drink
from it together.

1624
01:37:04,508 --> 01:37:05,743
[slurps]

1625
01:37:15,553 --> 01:37:16,655
[sniffs quietly]

1626
01:37:36,508 --> 01:37:39,211
[exhales forcefully]

1627
01:37:41,346 --> 01:37:42,711
- Stop.
- [screams]

1628
01:37:42,713 --> 01:37:44,382
[crowd murmuring]

1629
01:37:46,884 --> 01:37:48,150
I'm sorry, Rabbi.

1630
01:37:48,152 --> 01:37:49,784
I don't mean any disrespect.

1631
01:37:49,786 --> 01:37:51,222
Alex.

1632
01:37:54,225 --> 01:37:55,194
As a new Jew...

1633
01:37:57,161 --> 01:37:59,862
I can't in good conscience
watch Gary break that glass

1634
01:37:59,864 --> 01:38:01,866
after the feelings he shared
with me in the deep end of...

1635
01:38:03,234 --> 01:38:04,667
Mr. Stern's pool the other day.

1636
01:38:04,669 --> 01:38:06,538
[crowd murmuring]

1637
01:38:08,173 --> 01:38:10,805
Feelings that indicate
this wedding shouldn't happen.

1638
01:38:10,807 --> 01:38:12,210
What are you doing?

1639
01:38:13,477 --> 01:38:14,645
Um...

1640
01:38:16,446 --> 01:38:17,548
[Alex]
Uh...

1641
01:38:28,959 --> 01:38:31,894
A very wise person told me

1642
01:38:31,896 --> 01:38:33,764
that you must live
an authentic life.

1643
01:38:35,232 --> 01:38:36,400
I believe if we...

1644
01:38:38,503 --> 01:38:41,540
let this wedding go forward,
it will be a lie.

1645
01:38:45,276 --> 01:38:47,146
Gary, is this true?

1646
01:38:49,414 --> 01:38:50,449
[Rhonda]
It is true.

1647
01:38:52,717 --> 01:38:54,186
And I'm sorry, Gary...

1648
01:38:55,852 --> 01:38:57,619
but I'm in love
with someone else.

1649
01:38:57,621 --> 01:38:59,324
[crowd gasping]

1650
01:39:02,526 --> 01:39:04,961
Oh, my God.
That makes so much sense.

1651
01:39:04,963 --> 01:39:06,365
[Mr. Stern clears throat]

1652
01:39:07,999 --> 01:39:09,966
Settle down, everybody.

1653
01:39:09,968 --> 01:39:11,236
Settle down.

1654
01:39:12,402 --> 01:39:14,470
Alex...

1655
01:39:14,472 --> 01:39:15,871
normally,

1656
01:39:15,873 --> 01:39:18,608
I would kill you
for pulling a stunt like that.

1657
01:39:18,610 --> 01:39:20,976
But in this case...

1658
01:39:20,978 --> 01:39:22,411
it was the right thing to do.

1659
01:39:22,413 --> 01:39:23,679
[sighs]

1660
01:39:23,681 --> 01:39:24,750
Now, look...

1661
01:39:26,618 --> 01:39:29,788
we came here to enjoy
a beautiful ceremony.

1662
01:39:31,588 --> 01:39:33,723
Celebrate the joining
of two lives.

1663
01:39:33,725 --> 01:39:35,393
And I'm paying for it.

1664
01:39:36,628 --> 01:39:37,663
So...

1665
01:39:38,730 --> 01:39:40,331
somebody here
is getting married.

1666
01:39:41,665 --> 01:39:42,668
You two.

1667
01:39:44,901 --> 01:39:46,735
Wait.

1668
01:39:46,737 --> 01:39:50,273
Antonio, you're a good man.

1669
01:39:50,275 --> 01:39:52,608
It's not gonna happen
with my daughter.

1670
01:39:52,610 --> 01:39:53,612
Go get a drink.

1671
01:39:54,879 --> 01:39:56,378
Alex, Katherine,

1672
01:39:56,380 --> 01:39:57,912
you two love each other.

1673
01:39:57,914 --> 01:40:00,451
Now, let's get on with it.

1674
01:40:06,691 --> 01:40:07,993
[both laughing]

1675
01:40:09,494 --> 01:40:10,462
Umm...

1676
01:40:11,462 --> 01:40:13,628
give me just... one moment.

1677
01:40:13,630 --> 01:40:15,433
- Yeah.
- Okay?

1678
01:40:17,401 --> 01:40:18,567
One moment.

1679
01:40:18,569 --> 01:40:19,736
[crowd murmuring]

1680
01:40:23,807 --> 01:40:25,841
[Rabbi Baskin]
As you share this cup of wine,

1681
01:40:25,843 --> 01:40:28,347
you undertake all that
the future may bring.

1682
01:40:29,847 --> 01:40:32,014
All the sweetness
that life brings

1683
01:40:32,016 --> 01:40:33,948
will be even sweeter

1684
01:40:33,950 --> 01:40:35,721
because you drink
from it together.

1685
01:41:10,120 --> 01:41:13,725
♪ ♪

1686
01:41:58,136 --> 01:42:00,938
♪ ♪

1687
01:42:05,709 --> 01:42:07,712
Alex, break the glass.

1688
01:42:09,079 --> 01:42:10,114
What are you doing?

1689
01:42:11,581 --> 01:42:12,616
I didn't buy the Porsche.

1690
01:42:15,585 --> 01:42:16,821
What are you talking about?

1691
01:42:18,588 --> 01:42:19,590
It's the cat.

1692
01:42:20,958 --> 01:42:22,558
What?

1693
01:42:22,560 --> 01:42:23,695
The kitten.

1694
01:42:24,695 --> 01:42:25,764
It made me see.

1695
01:42:30,868 --> 01:42:32,036
Look...

1696
01:42:33,538 --> 01:42:36,441
even if I got a 100 percent
on this list,

1697
01:42:37,441 --> 01:42:38,609
it still wouldn't matter.

1698
01:42:40,678 --> 01:42:42,414
And there's some
great things on there.

1699
01:42:44,882 --> 01:42:46,982
There are, but...

1700
01:42:46,984 --> 01:42:48,085
in the end, I'm...

1701
01:42:51,588 --> 01:42:53,057
I'm just not a cat guy.

1702
01:42:54,124 --> 01:42:56,127
You'll learn to like cats.

1703
01:42:57,661 --> 01:43:00,496
I just... I just wanted
to lift you up to this

1704
01:43:00,498 --> 01:43:01,963
great life.

1705
01:43:01,965 --> 01:43:04,132
I know, I don't want
to be lifted into another life.

1706
01:43:04,134 --> 01:43:07,036
Katherine, you see, you...

1707
01:43:07,038 --> 01:43:09,738
you've put together
this imagined person

1708
01:43:09,740 --> 01:43:11,877
that just doesn't exist
inside of me.

1709
01:43:13,143 --> 01:43:14,909
This isn't happening.

1710
01:43:14,911 --> 01:43:16,414
This isn't happening.

1711
01:43:24,856 --> 01:43:26,892
This is the list
you should give your bashert.

1712
01:43:42,005 --> 01:43:43,074
Lily...

1713
01:43:45,877 --> 01:43:47,012
what are you doing here?

1714
01:43:49,780 --> 01:43:50,882
You called her, didn't you?

1715
01:43:52,048 --> 01:43:53,282
Yeah.

1716
01:43:53,284 --> 01:43:55,551
She's my best friend.

1717
01:43:55,553 --> 01:43:58,953
If I was getting married today,
I wanted her to be here.

1718
01:43:58,955 --> 01:44:01,256
You just really can't make
a decision without her, can you?

1719
01:44:01,258 --> 01:44:03,024
You-You couldn't even decide

1720
01:44:03,026 --> 01:44:04,726
to marry me without asking her.

1721
01:44:04,728 --> 01:44:07,162
Katherine,
I just told her to come.

1722
01:44:07,164 --> 01:44:08,867
I didn't tell her
we were getting married.

1723
01:44:12,270 --> 01:44:13,938
You know, I almost put you
on the list.

1724
01:44:15,138 --> 01:44:16,173
You almost put...

1725
01:44:21,579 --> 01:44:22,647
I'm sorry.

1726
01:44:36,227 --> 01:44:37,061
Katherine...

1727
01:44:40,231 --> 01:44:42,200
I hope you find
what you're looking for.

1728
01:45:00,884 --> 01:45:02,885
I have something
I need to do.

1729
01:45:02,887 --> 01:45:04,155
I'm gonna go with you.

1730
01:45:10,962 --> 01:45:13,130
♪ ♪

1731
01:45:18,335 --> 01:45:19,905
[tires screeching]

1732
01:45:37,722 --> 01:45:38,921
[car doors close]

1733
01:45:38,923 --> 01:45:40,189
- Alex, hey.
- Hey, hey.

1734
01:45:40,191 --> 01:45:41,790
- Hey.
- You're coming for a visit?

1735
01:45:41,792 --> 01:45:43,058
We were just gonna go
for a walk.

1736
01:45:43,060 --> 01:45:44,659
No, I didn't come for a visit.

1737
01:45:44,661 --> 01:45:47,363
I came to tell you guys
I made a huge, huge mistake.

1738
01:45:47,365 --> 01:45:49,030
Tucker's my dog.

1739
01:45:49,032 --> 01:45:51,766
- Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, no.
- Oh, no, no, he's our dog now.

1740
01:45:51,768 --> 01:45:53,268
It hasn't been 48 hours.

1741
01:45:53,270 --> 01:45:55,738
You don't have any written or
witness to a verbal agreement.

1742
01:45:55,740 --> 01:45:57,305
Legally, you have no standing.

1743
01:45:57,307 --> 01:45:58,907
Who is this?

1744
01:45:58,909 --> 01:46:00,011
I'm Alex's attorney.

1745
01:46:01,846 --> 01:46:03,949
So don't fuck with me.

1746
01:46:08,953 --> 01:46:10,885
Alex? Alex?

1747
01:46:10,887 --> 01:46:12,356
Shut up!

1748
01:46:13,790 --> 01:46:15,424
I know, I know.
Guys, I'm sorry.

1749
01:46:15,426 --> 01:46:17,792
I'm so sorry. Look, I'll get you
guys any other dog you want.

1750
01:46:17,794 --> 01:46:19,795
Any kind. I promise.

1751
01:46:19,797 --> 01:46:21,363
How about a labradoodle.
She wants a labradoodle.

1752
01:46:21,365 --> 01:46:22,398
Yeah.

1753
01:46:22,400 --> 01:46:23,368
Done!

1754
01:46:26,870 --> 01:46:27,838
[sighs]

1755
01:46:29,740 --> 01:46:31,305
Open the door. Open the door!

1756
01:46:31,307 --> 01:46:33,177
[Alex snickering]

1757
01:46:34,911 --> 01:46:37,445
Look, you didn't get the girl,
but you got your dog back.

1758
01:46:37,447 --> 01:46:39,848
And you are now
a well-read, well-dressed,

1759
01:46:39,850 --> 01:46:42,083
handsome Jewish man
with sparkling white teeth

1760
01:46:42,085 --> 01:46:44,752
who likes football
and knows good scotch.

1761
01:46:44,754 --> 01:46:45,757
Huh?

1762
01:46:47,391 --> 01:46:48,627
Get in the back.

1763
01:46:51,928 --> 01:46:53,063
[engine starts]

1764
01:46:56,333 --> 01:46:59,004
♪ ♪

1765
01:47:08,044 --> 01:47:09,079
[groans]

1766
01:48:04,334 --> 01:48:06,837
Whoo!

1767
01:48:09,373 --> 01:48:11,776
[woman]
Whoo!

1768
01:48:19,917 --> 01:48:20,948
Hey.

1769
01:48:20,950 --> 01:48:22,721
- Hi.
- Hi.

1770
01:48:24,320 --> 01:48:25,453
Nice Australian shepherd.

1771
01:48:25,455 --> 01:48:27,088
Oh, thanks.

1772
01:48:27,090 --> 01:48:29,190
I like yours too.
Beautiful coloring.

1773
01:48:29,192 --> 01:48:30,328
[chuckles]

1774
01:48:32,228 --> 01:48:33,231
So...

1775
01:48:34,464 --> 01:48:35,734
you're the yeller.

1776
01:48:38,435 --> 01:48:39,737
Yeah, I am.

1777
01:48:40,971 --> 01:48:42,507
Well, It's nice
to finally meet you.

1778
01:48:44,008 --> 01:48:45,210
Well, thanks for yelling back.

1779
01:48:46,944 --> 01:48:48,510
You have a lovely resonance
to your yell.

1780
01:48:48,512 --> 01:48:49,877
[laughing]

1781
01:48:49,879 --> 01:48:51,078
Thanks. So do you.

1782
01:48:51,080 --> 01:48:52,350
[both laughing]

1783
01:48:54,351 --> 01:48:55,420
I'm Lara.

1784
01:48:57,887 --> 01:48:58,856
I'm Alex.

1785
01:49:23,480 --> 01:49:28,317
♪ So I see it seems
we've settled down ♪

1786
01:49:28,319 --> 01:49:31,856
♪ Quite a bit from
the energy we once had ♪

1787
01:49:33,190 --> 01:49:37,326
♪ Oh, believe me
we've settled down ♪

1788
01:49:37,328 --> 01:49:39,627
♪ Way down ♪

1789
01:49:39,629 --> 01:49:42,163
♪ Way down ♪

1790
01:49:42,165 --> 01:49:45,302
♪ Way down ♪

1791
01:49:48,239 --> 01:49:49,406
♪ And all we are ♪

1792
01:49:50,540 --> 01:49:53,007
♪ Is burning stars ♪

1793
01:49:53,009 --> 01:49:57,578
♪ Shining brightly making sure
you don't float too far ♪

1794
01:49:57,580 --> 01:50:02,451
♪ I'll keep an eye on you
if you keep one on me ♪

1795
01:50:02,453 --> 01:50:04,920
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1796
01:50:04,922 --> 01:50:07,558
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1797
01:50:26,243 --> 01:50:30,444
♪ And all the time it takes
till you've had enough ♪

1798
01:50:30,446 --> 01:50:34,484
♪ Has shortened even
in the last couple of years ♪

1799
01:50:35,919 --> 01:50:40,188
♪ But so too have
the years themselves ♪

1800
01:50:40,190 --> 01:50:42,424
♪ Themselves ♪

1801
01:50:42,426 --> 01:50:44,626
♪ Themselves ♪

1802
01:50:44,628 --> 01:50:45,993
♪ The years themselves ♪

1803
01:50:45,995 --> 01:50:47,461
♪ And all the years fly by ♪

1804
01:50:47,463 --> 01:50:48,966
♪ While the clock's
still ticking ♪

1805
01:50:51,035 --> 01:50:53,268
♪ All we are ♪

1806
01:50:53,270 --> 01:50:55,703
♪ Is burning stars ♪

1807
01:50:55,705 --> 01:51:00,609
♪ Shining brightly making sure
you don't float too far ♪

1808
01:51:00,611 --> 01:51:05,279
♪ I'll keep an eye on you
if you keep one on me ♪

1809
01:51:05,281 --> 01:51:07,549
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1810
01:51:07,551 --> 01:51:10,385
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1811
01:51:10,387 --> 01:51:12,520
♪ All we are ♪

1812
01:51:12,522 --> 01:51:15,189
♪ Is burning stars ♪

1813
01:51:15,191 --> 01:51:19,728
♪ Shining brightly making sure
you don't float too far ♪

1814
01:51:19,730 --> 01:51:24,599
♪ I'll keep an eye on you
if you keep one on me ♪

1815
01:51:24,601 --> 01:51:27,034
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1816
01:51:27,036 --> 01:51:29,470
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1817
01:51:29,472 --> 01:51:32,006
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1818
01:51:32,008 --> 01:51:33,944
♪ And then
what happens we'll see ♪

1819
01:51:33,946 --> 01:51:38,946
Subtitles by explosiveskull

1820
01:51:53,664 --> 01:51:55,997
[dogs barking]

1821
01:51:55,999 --> 01:51:57,265
[Lara laughing]

1822
01:51:57,267 --> 01:51:59,370
Quick! Come here!

1823
01:52:00,404 --> 01:52:01,472
Hey.

1824
01:52:03,007 --> 01:52:04,405
Come on.
Come and get it.

1825
01:52:04,407 --> 01:52:05,640
- [toy squeaking]
- [Lara laughing]

1826
01:52:05,642 --> 01:52:08,310
[barking]

1827
01:52:08,312 --> 01:52:10,381
[Alex] She's quick.
She's so fast.

1828
01:52:12,383 --> 01:52:14,049
Come here. Come here.

1829
01:52:14,051 --> 01:52:15,183
Come here...

1830
01:52:15,185 --> 01:52:18,353
[barking]

1831
01:52:18,355 --> 01:52:19,991
Ow! No!
[laughing]