Thread 42: Stories 31-45

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>SA
"Dash"
~~~~

>So, Twilight tells me you are a little irate.

"WHATEVER GAVE YOU THAT IDEA!?"

>Well, for starters, you are here in my Empire.

"JUST CAME FOR A VISIT!"

>And you are punching.

"NEEDED A WORKOUT!"

>Punching my desk.

"PAPERWORK IS MY TRIGGER!"

>...Want to talk about it?

"UGGGHHHHHHHHARBLABLAHHHH!"

>...

"...A-hem... I recently re-tested my ex-wonderbolts to see who I could let back on the team."

>Ah. Not so good?

"All they had to do was pass the Wonderbolt physical and take a drug test! I backpedaled on disbarring them forever because of substance abuse, Shiny! I BACKPEDALED ON DON'T DO DRUGS! Do you realize how bad that looks!?"

>And?

"Guess what? Over half of them failed the physical! They couldn't even keep up with the basics required by the job!"

>Ah. And the other half?

"Passed the physical with flying colors!"

>I feel like there is an 'and' coming-"

"AND THEY'RE ALL ON DRUGS!"

>Yep.

"I just..."

*HEADDESK*

"How did you deal with it, Shiny? You led a bunch of muscle obsessed idiots, how'd you keep them clean?"

>Well, truth is, I uh...

"..."

>...I maaaay have been a little... lax in the testing.

"...Shiny, no."

>Yeah, not one of my prouder moments.

"Nooooo..."

>Well, it's just, I would have had to fill out the paperwork for every single one of them to have them tested, and that would have been really, really long.

"Nnnnoooooo..."

>So, I uh... just kind of let them fill out the forms themselves? Honor system and all that.

"..."

>...I mean, they're kind of lazy, and they don't need rockstar VIP level athlete bodies, so they probably, you know...

"..."

>...If it makes you feel any better, I've been up to speed with my current army.

"It really doesn't."

>Ah, well... sorry.

"...Can I hit you?"

>Come again?

"Can I hit you? Just once? I won't go for the face. It's just, what you just said embodies everything I hate right now, and I need this."

>...Sure, I-YOUSAIDNOTTHEFACE-

*BLAM!*

"I lied... thanks Shiny."
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>Actarius
"JJ"
'Random Changelings'
~~~~

>Soooo.... this isn't awkward.

The poor stallion was currently sitting in what could, on a good day, be described as 'enemy territory'. Stuffed in a corner with a military style sleeping bag under his rear and surrounded on all sides by green goo wall fixtures, love sucking bug monsters, and more than the standard or safe amount of fires.

And yet, somehow, despite clearly looking like a guard out of his armor...

>Is everyone really just ignoring me? Really. Even when I am literally the only pony in the room, I still get ignored. Really.

Beside him, Jugglejack shrugged without looking his way, tongue poking out the side of his mouth as he concentrated on his juggling balls that he idly tossed up and down.

"Isn't that good? Her majesty said you could only stay if they didn't mind you."

>Well, yeah, I mean on the whole. But it's a little discouraging, you know?

"Meh, most of us would love to become invisible in a crowd. That's a sign you are one hell of a changeling."

>Not so great when you're a pony.

"Wouldn't know what that's like."

>...Yeah, point. What are those two arguing over?

"Which ones?"

>The uh... ones hanging above us.

'I'm telling you, salt is not lethal to changelings!'

'Awww no, I'm not falling for that one again. You said the same thing about butter.'

'Butter isn't poisonous to us! You're just allergic!'

'Well, how do I know I'm not allergic to salt?'

'You don't until you try it!'

'Meh, too risky. Want to punch each other in the face some more?'

'...Fiiiine!'

>So is this just what you guys do all day?

'HEY! What's wrong with facepunch!?'

>Well, it makes you look roughed up for one. Not exactly presentable.

'Pfft, we can look presentable any time we want!'

*FWOOSH!*

'See?'

>Huh... that actually sounds pretty useful. Have you guys ever tried getting a job in modeling?

'...'
'...'
'''''PFFTHAHAHAHHAHA!''''

'Us!? Jobs!?'

'AHAHHAHA! Yeah! Ask 12 how that works out so far!'

'The fucking stabbed the guy!'

>Ah, right, they did do that.

'Oh? You saw?'

>Oh yeah, I was there. Pulled the knife out... he uh, he bit me. Want to see the scar?

"Why'd he bite you?"

>Because I pulled a knife out of him? That shit hurts.

'Point. Buuuut yeah, none of us even bother with shit like that going down. Not that a PONY would worry about that.'

>I uh... I'm actually jobless too.

'Oh. I thought your coltfriend was a guard?'

"HE'S *NOT* MY COLTFRIEND!"

>I got... fired. Let's just say.

'HAH!'

>...

'It's funny to me.'

>But you guys should at least try to get jobs, you know? It's not that bad out there. Probably someone who'll hire you.

'...Pfft.'

'Seriously. Facepunch?'

'FACEPUNCH!'

'OW'

"Don't bother, they're happier in here."

>I guess...

'WHA-BAM!'

'HEY! NO GOING FOR THE TOOTH!'

>So uh... do they ever sleep, orrr?

"...I'd use some of your funds for some earplugs."

>Advice noted.

'CRACKA-BOOM!'
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>AJ
“???”
‘Chrysalis’
~Celestia~
[???]
~~~~~~

“YES!”

>Did… did Ah really jus’…?

~Lose? Yes. Yes you did. Expertly, I might add.~

>But how?!

‘See, I told you he was freakishly good at this game, but no, you didn’t want to believe me. Well, now you can believe in that ass whoppin’ he just handed out.’

“AW YEAH! WHO DUH BUG? ME THAT’S WHO!”

>There’s no way Ah coulda lost! Not at this, Ah’m the best! Really, Ah got trophies from mah filly days for competitions on this game!

~…You have awards for playing Tic Tac Toe?~

>Long story, Celly, let’s jus’ be happy the curriculums changed since then.

“That’s all very good an’ stuff but ya know what hasn’t changed? ME WINNIN’! BAM THERE IT IS!”

>…is it too late tuh’ throw a smoke bomb?

‘Faaaar too late, appleass. I’ve seen it, alabaster booty over there’s seen it-’

~You can bite this alabaster booty, bugbutt.~

‘-and there’s not a paper shredder in existence that can get rid of all that evidence. You two played over fifty games. And he won each of them.’

~Seriously. It was fated for you to lose so now it’s time for you to accept your destiny.~

>Didn’t y’all tell me somethin’ similar back when-

“Less talk, more movin’! You know what you gotta do!”

>…oh c’mon, 56… y’all ain’t really gonna hold me to that silly ol’ wager, are ya?

‘If he doesn’t, I sure as hell will. I went out and bought this new camera just for the occasion.’

~…You do realize that your ‘camera' is Ten’s old camera. Right? Which is to say nothing but a cereal box with a blinking red light?~

‘Don’t you spoil this for me!’

“It’s okay, not-mom! Applebooty lost fair and square — multiple times — so now… now comes my happy hour!”

She wanted to whine. She wanted to beg. Buck it, she was even willing to get down and kiss his hole-riddled hooves. But she did none of those things. No, the princess of paperwork only held her head up high, crown sparkling, and firmed her jaw.

>If Ah gotta… then Ah guess Ah gotta….

Two hours later, 56 was shivering in spot, filled with excitement as he watched the curtain of the dressing rustle about.

“I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t wait I can’t-”

Celestia pressed a gentle hoof to his lips.

~While we wait, what was their bet again? I forgot around the thirtieth Tic Tac Toe match.~

Still fiddling with her ‘camera’, Chrysalis set up the tripod.

‘It went something like if crabapple won, then 56 would go to school on the weekends for extra studies. But if 56 won, which he did, then she would have to-’

The curtains gave one final tremble, then were flung back.

Carrying a rather large axe, obviously fake, Applejack stepped out into the spotlight with her hair flowing and luxurious yet still confined to a ponytail. The blonde was a nice contrast to the red glow in her cheeks as she fidgeted nervously in spot, adorned in an amazonian bikini of sorts with matching leg protectors.

>Ah… Ah feel silly….

‘Dem hips.’

~Dat ass.~

>Sh-shut up!

Embarrassed, she tried to make those parts of her seem small but in such skimpy clothing, they only appeared more prominently.

56 looked oddly solemn.

“…Now you have to say it.”

>…

“C’mon, you lost, you gotta say it.”

>…nuh.

~Applejack dear, no one likes a sore loser. I believe you gave your word on this, no?~

>Fine! Fine, Ah’ll say it!

‘Drum roll please!’

>…Ah’m… Ah’m comin’ to crush yer’ skull with… w-with mah thighs, 56.

He fell out.

No, not 56. He was standing with a spot of blood leaking from his left nostril. The one that hit the ground was Spike, who had happened across the doorway just in time to not only catch AJ in her get-up but hear her losers speech.

‘HA! Two for one right there! Nice!’

>Spike! Spike, y’all okay?! What’s wrong?

[N-nothing… nothing’s ever going to be wrong again. Ever.]

“PERFECT! MY LIFE IS COMPLETE!”

~My people, everyone. These… are my people.~

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>Dash
"Scootaloo"
'56'
~~~~~

>So remember kids, don't do drugs, because if you do you could be kicked out of the Wonderbolts FOREVER!

"GASP!"

'I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DRUGS ARE, BUT I AIN'T TOUCHIN' THEM!'

>Good job! You two will learn a lot.

~~~~~~~~LATER!~~~~~~~~~

"..."

'...'

>...Okay, so, to revise my earlier statement, don't do drugs, because if you do you might not be a Wonderbolt for a few months but ultimately let back on the team because otherwise I have essentially crippled Equestria's airforce and oh sweet Celestia no what have I done JUST STOP DOING THE DRUGS LONG ENOUGH TO COME BACK THAT'S ALL I AAAAASSSSK!

"..."
'...'

>...Winners don't do drugs! Unless you want to count becoming a wonderbolt as a win, I mean. In which case you win but lose later.

"..."
'...I don't even know what to think anymore!'

>JOIN THE FREAKING CLUB!
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>Dash
"Twi"

>"Twilight!"

"R-rainbow?"

>"Please....please pleasepleaseplease I need your help."

"With what?! I'm so busy with all the other projects I am almost literally swamped here!"

>"I need you to find me a way to get these idiots back on track or...or...can you do me a solid?"

"Er...depends, what do you have in mind?"

>"Well I was reading this series called Ponyo, and they had an interesting idea..."

"Which is...?"

>"They kiinda had this really cool idea for making the best super ponies ever!"

"Really? What did they do?"

>"..."

"Rainbow, is it something illegal?"

>"Noooooyeah?"

"Ugh, fine just tell me what it is so I can explain why it won't work."

>"Basically they take the best and brightest kids they have and induct them into a boot camp type deal and mold them into the best of the best as they grow and then even make them better using science!"

"..."

>"Eeeh, too much?"

Twilight picks up her clip board, detaches the papers within them and rolls the paper up. Then quiet calmly she leveitates the rolled up paper and bops Rainbow on the nose.

"Bad. Bad Pony. No!"

>"Twiglight pleaaaase!?"

"No Rainbow, fix it on your own I'm not conducting foal abductions so you can make the Equestrian airfore better!"

>"BUT THEY SUUUUUUUUUCK!"

"Yes we all have to deal with our own little fantasies being crushed and move on."

>Dash sniffles as she looks up at Twilight with large teary eyes.

"Oh no , not the eyes, don't you even think...about...it...nnn..."

>"..."

"Nnnnn...."

>"......."

"UGH! Fine I'll figure something out, but why don't you just throw out the old and bring in the new in the meantime?"

>"YES!" Coming down from her new high Dash explains "Then i'd wind up crippling the air force and we'd have no fliers at all and Gyphonia would kick our flanks back to Cloudsdale."

"Then why don't you make them all go through the routine you did?"

>"..."

"Didn't think of that did ya?"

*Thud*

"Hey that's a delicate piece of machinery!"
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NC
>Dash
"Soarin'
-Spitfire-
'Fleetfoot'
~Bulk Biceps~

>RECRUITS, FALL IN!

>NOW, as you are most certainly aware by now, practically EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU have failed your preliminary examinations. Not everyone has failed every subject, of course, but if you sad-sacks of feathers weren't Wonderbolts already your applications would have gone STRAIGHT to the trash.

'But we ARE Wonderbolts already, so who cares? I passed that junk back in the day, isn't that good enough?'

>Maybe it was good enough for Spitfire, but I'm in charge now. I've tried overhauling everything and I'm out of ideas, so now I'm going to try overhauling you guys.

"I flew really fast though, what's the problem? Isn't that basically the whole job aside from signing autographs?

>You absolutely bombed the History of the Wonderbolts written exam, Soarin. You couldn't tell me the founder of the Wonderbolts even though the test was in Firefly Exam Hall. It's bucking named after her! Do I have to get Pinkie to sing the song again?

"Noo!"
'Noo!'
-Noo!-
~YEAH!~

>Spitfire, you aced the history test and kept pace with your speed records from your rookie days. Gotta say, I'm impressed. I would be anyway, if you didn't test positive for Horse Growth Hormone. Not a lot, but enough to set the test off. Stop trying to fool it by low-dosing, just stop completely and you're back in the clear.

-I do what it takes to keeps to stay competitive! But fine, I'll work on it.-

>Fleetfoot, I'm impressed! Your flight scores are fantastic, your written test was a solid B+ and your drug test came back 100% clear. Nice work, keep this up and you're looking at a promotion to Squad Leader!

'UH-HUH! I aim to please Commander!

*Fleetfoot salutes*

>Bulk... I'm disappointed man. I thought you were all natural buddy... Written test was fine, flying scores were good, but you came back positive for just about everything. Horse Growth Hormone, steroids, amphetamines, diet pills, testosterone, estrogen...

Several minutes later

..... guava fruit extract, tequila, anti-depressants, blood doping, caffeine, nicotine...

>D-Don't give me the wibble-lip Bulk, you brought this upon yourself. I don't know what happened for you to turn around like this, but it is UNACCEPTABLE. If you don't whip yourself into shape you're up for demotion to rookie.

~BUT I NEVER DID DRUGS, I SWEAR~

>Test results don't lie, Bulk. Now let me finish. You were also found positive for cocaine, heroin, aspirin, beef jerky and sniffing the ends of black markers to get a buzz.

~THAT SHOWS UP?~

>Apparently. You're also pregnant.

~NOOO, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?~
'NOOO, HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME?''
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>77
"42"
'Spike'
-Guard-
_Changeling_
[Q]

>So yes, if you happen to see a little crystal lying on the floor, just bring it to me.

"I have no idea why you're even trying at this point with him, there is no chance this is going to mend anything between you and him."

'Yeah, man, those bridges weren't just burned, they were nuked from orbit.'

>I'm not so certain, he called me brother for the first time in months earlier, and even if he didn't seem to realize it, I think this may be an opening to at least open a dialogue with him.

"The only dialogue he deserves is a nice informative lecture on all the myriad reasons he is an incorrect, self-serving, treacherous worm."

'Wait, what do you mean he may not have realized it?'

>He seemed to enter a daze mid-rant against me, some form of fugue state. The lackwit guarding him postulated it may have something to do with him nearly starving over the weekend-

"If only."

>-but I have reservations. Spike, if you can, ask Twilight if she'll have an opening soon to examine him. With the recent chaos magic outbreak it could literally be anything.

'Yeah, I'll ask, but Twilight's pretty busy right now with the red stuff Arana put in Jugglejack and-

The dragon's explanation is cut off by a small crystalline creature stumbling out of a nearby bush.

[*tink*]

>"'...'"

[*tink tink tink*]

>Is that a-

"What's one of Two's little pet golem's doing here?"

'I don't really know...waitaminute.'

>...

"Son of a BITCH!"

[*tink*!]

-There it is!-

_Stabbyjack! Punchbug! Grab it!_

-Spike, quick, get it first!-

[*tink*!]

The tiny crystal creature bolts for it once more.

>I...can't believe it...

"That sneaky bastard had one of those the whole time!?"

The crystal golem ducks out of sight.

"'-_Catch that crystal!_-'"
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>Dash
"Scoots:
[Rumble]


>"Now if I were highly succeptable children with high scores for flying...where would I be..."

Two blurs of color speed past the rainbow mare, one orange and the other a light SFW blue.

"Hey Rainbow Dash!"

[Hi Rainbow!]

>"Oh, hey kids."

Rainbow stomps a hoof on the ground in annoynace as she thinks.

>"Darn it I can't just think of anyone that comes to mind!"

"Hey what you think Rainbow was talking about back there?"

[I dunno, who cares lets race again that was fun![

"Alright on three!"
"2.."

Zoom!

"Rumble you cheatin; flank sniffer i didn't say one yet!"

[Nya nya! Come and catch me chicken butt!]

"Oh your dead!"

Unaware of the duo's race through the air Rainbow huffs unhappily trying to figure out candiates for the wonderbolt program.
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>Celestia
“Chrysalis”
~~~~~~~~~

Well. This was it.

She had given herself a set time frame, and stuck to it. In her desperation, three days ago she had sent out Jetset to see if he could solve the problem, but to his own, considerably overblown perhaps, shame, he had turned up empty. As such, she knew it was finally time, and made her departure.

Celestia found her wandering the halls of the Empire, of course. As always carefree and without any concern for the world around her. As always, a smile on her face.

And that made it all the harder to do what she was about to, but she knew it had to be done.

>Chrysalis?

The black Queen paused mid-trot, idly looking back at the more regal royal without much regard.

“Celly! Hey, want to go grab Shiny and jump off the top of the castle? All we have to do is have him put us in the bubble, and-”

>Actually... there is something I must discuss with you. About one of your... subjects.

She groaned dramatically, clearly annoyed.

“What did they do this time, how much is it going to cost me, and...”

It was only then that she noticed the serious, almost somber look upon Celestia's face.

>Is there any chance you've heard from Seven since Partyland?

She tilted her head, confused.

“What? No, I haven't. I figured he was still doing the... contest...”

When Celestia's eyes softened, Chrysalis's got harder.

“Celestia... what happened to my minion?”

>...I waited a week in the hopes he would appear, and I would not have to have this discussion with you.

“Well, he didn't, and you do, now speak.”

She let out an uneasy breath, looking away.

>When the chaos first struck, I was still inside of the hotel. Shortly after awakening I was in the hallway, trying to locate Fluttershy. I was... distracted, only for a moment, but it was more than enough. The chaos tried to grab hold of me, but he...

She looked back, meeting the wide, shocked eyes of the Queen.

>He took my place instead. I was too stunned from being pushed out of the way to grab him in time, and it dragged him off. I haven't seen or heard from him since.

She waited after that, giving the other plenty of time to digest exactly what she had said. Giving her plenty of time to mull over just what it was this absence implied.

To Celestia's surprise, and a touch of worry, Chrysalis remained completely stone faced throughout.

“I did not order him to protect you.”

She sounded annoyed, almost dismissive.

>Nonetheless, he did.

“His orders were merely to obtain the strands and then return to me. If you were so distracted you could have been grabbed, he should have been able to achieve his goal.”

>Likely, he could have. Yes. But he chose to protect me instead.

Dismissively, she scoffed and looked away.

“Then any fault is his own. Thank you for telling me, but his foolishness falls on him, not me.”

Her slender white throat actually contracted a bit at her harsh words.

>Foolish...

She snapped her head back, a hint of a snarl on her face.

“Yes, foolishness! If it had even the barest of chances of seriously harming you, then nothing he could have done would have even deterred it. His disobeyed my orders for nothing! I commanded him for a specific mission, and he went against my will! He merely spared you a moment of discomfort in exchange for his...”

When she failed to finish, Celestia continued.

>...Chrysalis, I still have hope he survived, and is merely taking his time to recover. But if he is not... if he is gone... would you like us to hold a service?

Confusion marred her face almost instantly.

“Service? What?”

>A funeral, Chrysalis. Would you like us to hold a funeral?

“Oh... oh, right, that thing you ponies do.”

>Do you not?

She scoffed, almost mockingly.

“No! We set aside no time for our dead. We do not bury them. When a changeling falls, they are burned away, no trace they ever were upon this earth to remain. We leave no markers, we say no words. Be you a drone felled on a whim or a Queen felled when her daughter ascends, you are declared dead, your body burned, and that is the end of it.”

Something about those words struck Celestia, right in her broad white chest.

>It seems... cruel. To lose all they did, the life they left. To be forgotten...

“Forgotten?”

There was an edge to her voice, almost insulted sounding.

“To them, being able to blend into a crowd was everything, to fool others into thinking you never existed at all a mark of pride. To leave behind a body is a mark of shame, a sign you have put your entire hive at risk through foolishness. At the end of life, to be as if you never were, was everything to a lesser.”

>Perhaps... but you do not need to hide anymore, you don't need to fear leaving something behind.

“There is always something to fear leaving behind, Celestia. For them, at least.”

She turned away coolly, looking back with a single eye.

“Thank you for telling me of my minions actions. If you should see him, have him report to me immediately. If a body is found, I would appreciate it also being returned so I may deal with it.”

The chest of the alabaster princess felt ever heavier with each word.

>Is that really all?

Her head snapped forward. Not fast, but quick enough Celestia could notice.

“I suppose... if I were a pony, I would be proud of him for saving you. You ponies are like that, aren't you? Always so proud of those that sacrifice themselves for others... even when it would have been better to just stay. But I am not. He left his hive one fewer, and that was wrong of him, even for you.”

>Chrysalis... you don't have to hide everything.

She snarled, turning back on her.

“Do not imply you know what is required of-NOOO!”

Celestia reeled back in shock as Chrysalis's horn ignited to life, flames burning off of it in an intensity that matched her wide eyed, horror stricken face.

A horror stricken one that slowly, but surely, melted away into just plain shock.

>W-what...

The white princess followed the Queen's line of sight, trailing back, behind her regal flowing hair, to find...

A changeling, suspended in the air, held aloft by the green flaming magic that burned atop Chrysalis's head. A knife was in his hoof, pointed downwards, right at the back of Celestia's head.

“...S-seven?”

The changeling, aghast, took a deep breath.

'...OH COME ON! I WAITED DAYS FOR THIS!'

Chrysalis's mouth creaked open into a stunned gape, her eyes going wide as the changeling fidgeted in her magical grasp.

'Why, Majesty!? I WAS SO CLOSE! SHE DIDN'T SEE ME I ALMOST HAD IT!'

Almost pathetically, he wiggled his hoof outward, unable to quiiite reach the hair in front of him.

>You've been following me... all this time?

First, it was just a twitch of the lips.

Then it was just a creak of her cheek.

Her breathing became a little harder to control.

...and then she let it all out.

An ear splitting, roaring laughter.

>AHAHAHAHHA! Y-you had it this time, and you got stopped by CHRYSALIS!? AHAHAHAHHAH!

Chrysalis could only bring up a hoof to her face in embarrassment, flames rocking over her body again and again as she tried to disguise it.

>AHAHAH! O-OH MY!... AHAH... ohhh, Seven, I really do have to give it to you, that's quite some dedication.

He tried to remain stone faced. Celestia, on the other hand, just beamed a smile.

>Your abilities should be commended, I suppose. But I am more happy I can than thank you for protecting me, especially now that I know it was of your own choosing.

She kissed him on the cheek, and his poker face burned away beneath a red hot blush so intense her own sun would have been jealous.

Satisfied with her results, Celestia began walking down the hallway, back the way she came, but considerably lighter than when she had come up it.

>I am sorry for worrying you, Chrysalis! But you have your chance for revenge now. This was quite the surprise, so he'll have to try extra hard if he wants to win this contest! As long as you don't stop him again, of course.

She just let out a low, angry growl in response.

>My, I'll have to tell Jetset to up his game at this rate... oh well! Look forward to seeing you again, Seven! Best of luck!

With that, she turned a corner. A cheery, upbeat hum coming from her growing quieter and quieter as she left.

Awkwardly, the two changelings remained in the hall. A hoof still pressed to the Queen's face, and an embarrassed flush on the others. Eventually, with enough calming breaths, her magic flickered, and the infiltrator was brought before his Queen and her harsh, burning gaze.

Instinctively, he bowed.

'I am sorry for not informing you of my survival immediately, highness! I believed that your honor of winning the bet was more important than if a lowly one such as myself had survived. It was entirely necessary not to see you directly, due to your frequent meetings with others who could not be trusted. I apologize if I made you look weak by implying an infiltrator of yours would fall to the chaos.'

Her eyes narrowed dangerously.

'If you wish to leave this matter, I will instead resume my search for the Titan's whereabouts now that I have-'

“No.”

He flinched at her tone.

“She was able to fool Shining Armor, Cadence and two of my best despite being not five feet away from them. If 42 was unable to detect her, then I was wrong concerning her infiltration capabilities, and you are merely wasting more time and energy. Resume the mission I gave you, and follow it this time.”

'O-oh... of course, your highness...'

Neither moved, sitting there in silence for the longest time. Uncomfortable as he was, 7 still knew better than to move until she gave him the okay.

That said, he still flinched just a bit as she raised up her hoof sharply, and closed his eyes as he waited for the blows for his insolence.

But instead... he only felt a light tapping atop his head, like one would pat the head of a small child. During, he heard her mumble something, garbled words within a growl.

Before he could question her further, she abruptly got up and walked off, just a bit quicker than normal, pointedly not looking back at him, or saying another word.

He waited till she was gone before he rose back up, confusion all over his face as his head tilted to the side, and he tried to process her words. Words that, even now, he was sure he must have misheard.

'...Did... did she just say... “Good job”?'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Vekir
"007"
'Jetset'

>Okay! Brain we must think now. Where can we hide until brother and brother-by-mate give up the chase? Seek asylum with one of the Princesses? That would not work, Rekulk would just trade for me back, his silver tongue is far too skillful! Think more-

"Closer..."

>-hide within the tunnel in the bathroom? No, I could not desecrate a memorial to the siblings of Zhetri Tuuhl-

"Cloooser..."

>Wait! That is it! Zhetri Tuuhl! If I find him, he will explain how I am right and Rekulk is wrong and many nyah nyahs will be had! I just have to figure out where he i-

"Now!"

>Ooh, shiny coin!

"Whoa!"

Vekir blinks and looks up from her new property, finding a changeling in a heap nearby, she tilts her head.

>Sibling of Zhetri Tuuhl, whyfor do you crash?

"Ngh...do not associate me with him..."

>Okay, Not-Sibling of Zhetri Tuuhl, whyfor do you crash?

"You have something I need, I'm afraid."

>What kind of thing?

"Wipe your faceplate."

>...ooh! A hair!

"From the Princess' mane."

>I must have taken it with me when I left my hiding place...it still does the flowy thing!

"Oh wow, it does, neat!"

>Hm?

"I mean, yes, it is imperative I have that hair."

>Really?

"Yes, I need it."

>Hmm...

"Sooo...fork it over."

>But if you have the pretty thing...Vekir does not.

"Oh come on! Give it!"

>Never!

"That wasn't a request, pipsqueak!"

>You shall have to pry it from Vekir's cold dead hooves!

"With pleasure!"

Five minutes later...

'Alright, that plan didn't work, better check in on...'

>...

"..."

'Are you two...?'

"No!"

>We are engaged in mortal combat!

'Oh so you're not rolling around on the ground, hooves all over each other, making grunty noises?'

"No! ...well yes, but not like that! She has one of your Princess' hair-OW! She bit me!"

>YOU WILL NEVER TAKE VEKIR ALIVE....Deja vuuuuuu!

"No! Get back here!"

'...I should really just incinerate the hair to prevent him from winning...but this is much funnier.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
~~~~~~

"....He's just been sitting there, eyes wide and goggling into space."

'Told him he shouldn't have eaten that mushroom.'

"It was just a shittake mushroom, it's not a drug."

'Well, yeah. But that wasn't powdered sugar he put on top of it.'

[Just because it is in my sugar jar, to assume with be a mistake. That powder is what I use to knock out manticores, it is not meant for a changeling to take.]

"So, why didn't you stop them."

[I was distracted by other things, at that time. Do not look at me, inaction is not a crime.]

'Or, in other words, rolling her 'herbs' is hard.'

[I ONLY HAVE HOOVES TO USE FOR THIS! Do you think I do this often!? I do nothing but miss!]

'Amateur'

"We don't all need 'inspiration' for acts."

'She's the one with the drugs.'

[MEDICINE!]

"See? Jumping to-"

>ALLLLIEEEENNNNNNNNNNNS!

"Gah!"
'WHAT!?'
[EEP!]

He suddenly shot to his hooves, and tore off.

>YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MINE MIND THOU FOUL CREATURES FROM BEYOND-

*WHAM!*

And then went facefirst into the closed door.

"...Niney? You okay?"

*WHUMP!*

"Not okay, gotcha."

'Sooo... finish rolling those 'herbs'?'

[...]

'...Just asking.'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Actaruis
"JJ"
'Random Changelings'
~~~~~~

>What are they doing?

"Honestly? I never know."

'HALT! If you want to go past this point, you need the password.'

'Seriously!?'

'Look, apparently there are some chaos monsters who were running around, and we need to errr on the side of caution.'

'YOU KNOW IT'S ME!'

'Oh yeah? What's your number?'

'....Uh, shit, what number was I again?'

'SEE!'

'HEY! It's hard, you know! S'cuse me for not being used to suddenly having a fucking name! I didn't even want one, I liked being 'that changeling'!'

'Well, too bad. I have no means to verify your identity.'

'Who put the fucking drone class in charge of guarding stuff anyway!?'

'Hey! Just because I'm not solider class doesn't mean anything!'

'It means you're not a soldier!'

'Besides that!'

'Why do I need a besides that!? That's a pretty big 'besides' to that!'

'Wait, how did you know I wasn't a soldier class.. unless...'

'Here we go, now you're putting it together-'

'OH NO! INFILTRATION! THE CHAOS CREATURES HAVE INFILTRATED US! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!'

'COME ON!'

'Never! I shall hold you here, for all of time!'

'YOU FUCKER!'

>...So he does know he's keeping that one IN the ballroom, right? Which would mean he thinks he's locking in a-

"Don't... just... just don't."

'MOVE OR I WILL KICK YOUR ASS!'

'NEVAH!'

'THAT'S IT! FACEPUNCH!'

'NOT IF I FACEPUNCH YOU HARDER!'

'I WILL BE FREEEEEE!'

>...That's the door to the closet, isn't it?

"Yeeeep."

'ARRRGHH!'
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Rekulk
"Grehm"
'Q'

Okay, fantastic, so the fruits of her impatience were that the castle was seemingly all out to get her, including the special ops team that thwarted a robot invasion, the situation was still salvageable, seriously.

If TWO people would stop pacing around the table she was under.

>Brother-by-mate we must think like sister to catch her, like any good hunter!

"Agreed."

>So! We must...

"..."

>Please return my bag of shimmerstones.

"No."

>...

"I am doing this correctly, yes?"

>Thank the ancestors she is not as big as you.

"Do I stop?"

>Yes.

"Here."

A large bag flopped onto the ground, its open top showing it to be full of shining jewels and ores. Had Q actually possessed a mouth, it would have dropped.

It was perfect!

With all the speed she could manage, Q flung herself into the bag, switching reverting into her inert form in midair.

'*tink*!'

>Hm?

"What?"

>Did you hear something?

"I hear many things. Like a commotion outside."

>Hm, odd...oh! It may be sister causing mayhem! Quickly, we must find the source!

"At once."

Q felt the bag get yanked up, she began to bounce around inside it with the running of its owner. Now all she needed was wait for the commotion to die down and make a break for it...again.

She was the best at plans.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Cadence"
~~~~

>Honey, what is that I smell?

"OH! That's just me. I thought I'd try a new recipe."

>...

"Now don't give me that, even *I* can pull this one off! Literally everyone can smoke vegetables in a pot, all you have to do is-"

>Steam.

"...What?"

>You steam vegetables in a pot, you don't smoke them. If you wanted to smoke them, you put them on something to grill.

"..."

>...We down a pot?

"Try... four...."

>...Sigh.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>AJ
“Blueblood”
‘Arana’
~~~~~~

A tingling sensation ran the length of her spine even before the knocks at her door came and Arana instinctively withdrew deeper into her nest of webbings.

>…Come in.

The door opened and a hollow pair of hoof steps proceeded the less-than-royal stallion as he entered, his gaze rightfully glued to the floor.

>Huh.

If not for the gleaming tiara resting on the brim of her stetson and the wings that signified her ascension, Applejack knew quite well she would have dove at her visitor.

But as she exhaled all of the raw loathe that built up at just the sight of him, she only flipped the book she’d been reading closed.

>An’ who’re you again?

"..."

That… was an odd question. Who was he?

“I’m, uh… I’m Blueblood.”

Like his name was a summons, a mess of legs quivered in the corner, unraveling to reveal an ecstatic face.

‘BLUEBLOOD!’

It might’ve suddenly jumped to Christmas by how Bluebloods face first displayed confusion at the yell, then lit up with realization.

“It… it can’t be… ARANA!”

>Stay.

The command itself was ambiguous but that didn’t stop either Arana or Blueblood from giving strangled motions as they ceased whatever move they’d been planning to make towards one another.

>So ya walk into mah office unannounced an’ then proceed to ignore mah question? Not the way we do things ‘round here. Now, Ah’ll ask ya again….

She swept her hat from her head and laid it off to the side, leaning forward like she wanted to get a clear view of the tarnished stallion.

>Who. Are. You?


The question made no more sense to him now than it did the first time.

So he gave the same answer, with added detail for good measure.

“I’m Blueblood, royal to Canterlot, nephew to Princess Celes-”

She cut across him with the smallest of sounds, a chuckle if anything.

>That’s not who ya are. That’s who ya were.

“…”

>Y’all got one more chance to smarten up an’ answer correctly ‘fore ya find yerself saddled with a deeper sentence than ya already had.

Her eyes were slits, the once mellow glow of her emerald eyes alit with a wicked fire.

>Ah want to know who this stallions is standin’ right there.

When she pointed a hoof at him, a cog turned within Bluebloods skull.

Ah. So that’s what she wanted….

As he tried to muster up the words he knew would assuage the apple princess, Arana still did not understand.

‘B-but… he’s Blueblood, Apple Prime, you know that, right? It was him and Spike and the glamor pony that came and got me!’

“Arana, please….”

‘No! Th-this is silly, she should know w-who you are! I don’t-’

One of Applejack’s wings twitched away from the rest of her body, pointing almost rigidly up at the Spiderling. When she fell into an obedient silence, the wing retracted back into its proper place.

>As y’all were, stallion.

He nodded with a shuddering inhale.

“…My name is Traitor, a fugitive who turned against my own land the day I picked up a weapon and used it against a princess of royal right. I have no name… I have no status, no power, no words to make my actions right. I’m a traitor.”

His voice cracked with sorrow and while pinpricks of tears began to gather in Arana’s eyes at having to hear him say that, Applejack herself could only scowl.

>Why….

She pushed her chair back with a loud, dragging scrape and approached the wilted stallion.

>Why!

He flinched at her yell and offered very little resistance when she slammed a hoof under his chin to force him to look up, to look her in the eye.

She screamed at him.

>Tell me why?!

“Why… what?”

>Why is it Ah’m havin’ such a goldarned time treatin’ y’all like the scum you are? Y’all deserve everything’s thas’ happened to ya an’ then some! So why can’t Ah jus’ be happy that justice is gettin’ served and be done wit’ it? Why does yer’ repulsive face pop up in mah mind nearly every day, wond’rin’ if ya done offed yerself or somethin’? Why does seein’ ya so damn malnourished and beaten like this make mah heart hurt when y’all tried to kill me?! TELL ME WHY!

There was no answer forthcoming from Blueblood. Even if he had one, her words were too stunning for him to get it out anyway. There was no way that, after everything he’d done, that she still-

‘IT’S ‘CAUSE YOU CARE!’

>“AGH!”

From out of nowhere came Arana in a divebomb, her multiple legs spread and hooking onto both Applejack and Blueblood to ensure she didn’t outright crash to the floor.

The distraught Spiderling faced the apple princess with a red-eyed pout.

‘It’s ‘cause you expect better of him! That’s why you’re confused! You… you and my momma are a lot alike that way… tough on the outside but really, really kind on the inside! You don’t like seeing anyone hurt like this and you can see he’s hurting and you’re hurting because he’s hurting!’

Her shoulders trembled, the urge to cry overwhelming but she managed to keep her voice steady.

‘He… he did something really stupid, something you never thought he’d do and it hurt, it hurt a lotta people, it hurt a nation… so you got angry to cover the pain of betrayal. You don’t want to give him a second chance b-but you care too much about him, about all of us, to let us just fade away like that! You forgive him and that confuses you, I know it does ‘cause I felt the same way whenever my momma forgave me when I messed up. I always wondered ‘why does she give me another chance? Why don’t she just eat me?’ And th-then I learned it was ‘cause she cared! And so do you!’

Damn it, damn it, damn it….

Looking over the sniveling Spiderling, Applejack caught Blueblood’s eye and saw that despite best efforts at keeping his face straight, that a few stray tears had found their way down his taut jaw.

With her eyes blurring with water, she was no better.

‘Giving up on others… that’s not your way, Apple Prime. Princess of Second Chances, th-that’s your title, and it’s one you stick with. Even n-now. He’s part of our hive, from a stupider part, and a hive sticks together even when one of them acts dumb! S-so don’t eat him, or boil him in chicken grease, or—or whatever ponies do to punish the other!’

A thin, alabaster hoof fell over Arana’s head bringing a halt to her babbling and she hastily scurried aside as Blueblood stepped forward.

For a tense moment, he and Applejack only stared at one another.

Then, slowly, he leaned in until his forehead touched hers, their horns crisscrossing.

“I’m sorry… I’m s-so sorry, Applejack… I should’ve seen you f-for the princess you were, that you still are, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sor-”

A foreleg around the neck silenced him.

>Faust damn it, Ah forgive ya, Blueblood. Ah do….

He choked on nothing, chest tightening as more tears spilled forth.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness.”

She sniffled.

>Darn right ya don’t, but thas’ not gonna stop me from givin’ it to ya anyway.

“I’m sorry.”

>Be quiet….

“I’m so sorry….”

>Hard’uh hearin’, aren’t ya?

“One of my many, many faults, I’m sorry.”

>Ah think ya left off a few ‘manys’ there.

That insult stunned Blueblood to the point where he snorted, which caused a bubble of snot to blow and subsequently pop between their faces.

>UGH!

“S-sorry! I didn’t mean—here, hold on, I’ve got some tissue, just let me-”

>YER’ JUS’ SPREADIN’ IT!

“SORRY!”

Rubbing at her eyes, Arana couldn’t help but laugh as she watched the two ‘royal’ ponies in front of her squabble over snot.

>Ya danged idgit, gimme that tissue! …Yegh… now anyway, jus’ ‘cause Ah forgive ya doesn’t mean others will, or that yer’ punishment’s up. Not by a long shot.

“…I know, and I’m prepared to fulfill whatever time you see fit, princess.”

>Good. So Ah reckon after another week on lockdown, y’all can be reassigned as a helper around the castle. You’ll be expected to greet newcomers, make sure paperwork flows from one area to another, keeps things shinin’, make sure everyone has what they need.

Wait….

His heart leapt.

“Y-you mean I’ll… that after a week I’ll be-”

>A castle keeper? Yes. Got a problem wit’ that?

She called it a castle keeper. He called it more than he could have hoped for.

“Not a one, princess. Not… not a one.”

>Good. Dismissed. Oh, an’ give Ara’ a hug before ya go. Ah’ll work out visitin’ hours with her later.

“Thank you.”

And as several legs wound themselves around the prince in a long overdue hug, he smiled, those same two words repeatedly falling from his lips.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________