Homecoming, Pt. 1

	“W-what if they don’t like me?”

	I looked up from my book, the surprise on my face as clear as the surprise in my voice as I said, “What?”

	Hanako fidgeted in her seat, looking out the train window to avoid looking at me. In a small voice, she said, “What i-if your p-p-parents don’t like me?”

	I’m not sure what shocked me more, the question she asked or the fact that she had stuttered for the first time in months. When was it that she last stuttered? The fact that I had trouble remembering should be evidence enough that I thought she had finally gotten over her speech impediment during the time I had known her.

	“I m-mean, I just…” Hanako trailed off into silence, wringing her hands nervously. I looked out the train window as well, trying to gauge how much longer we had before we reached our stop. The landscape passed by at a brisk pace, as quickly as the train carrying us. So far we had only seen snow-covered farmland, broken  every so often by the odd town here and there. Northern Japan at this time of year was always like this, white ground, grey skies, and the wind blowing down hard and fast. I couldn’t say I fully recognized the landscape, but there was a passing familiarity to it all, something from my childhood coming back to me. We must have been getting close, no more than half an hour away if I had to guess.

	I put my book aside into the empty seat next to me and reached across towards Hanako, taking her hand in mine. She didn’t look at me, but neither did she pull way from my touch. She left me interlocking my fingers with her's.

	“They’re going to love you Hanako,” I said, putting as much confidence into my voice as I could. It wasn’t that I had to try very hard to sound confident, it wasn't like I was lying. It’s just that with Hanako, you had to be a bit more straightforward about these kind of things. No if’s, no maybe’s, only a straight yes or no.

	Hanako gaze out the window dropped, no longer looking at the white trees and fields of my home province, but down towards the ground closer to the train tracks, where everything was a white blur as the train sped on. With a shake of her head, Hanako closed her eyes and said, “I know I’m not the k-kind of girl that parents want their s-son to bring home, I get t-that,”

	“Hanako,” I said, trying to stop her for lying to herself, but she spoke over me.

	“I’m not n-naive,” Hanako said, turning to face me head on. She met my gaze, and said, “I j-just want-”

	A sudden, violent bump in the track interrupted her, the whole train car jumping up and down. Hanako’s grasp on my hand had turned into a death grip, her other hand holding onto the seat rest just as tightly to steady her. This was certainly no bullet train we were on, but when you’re only going from Miyagi to Aomori, you don’t really need that much speed. While the ride was cheaper, it was also much bumpier, as Hanako and I had learned over the past couple of hours.

	Grumbling under my breath about the lack of funding for these backcountry railways, I stood up from my seat and swapped over to Hanako’s side. She gave me a sheepish smile as I did, as if to apologize, but I just wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her close. She scooted in her chair towards me and leaning into my shoulder to rest her head against me.

	In a quiet voice I could just barely hear over the sounds of the train, Hanako whispered, “I’m scared, Hisao...”

	“I know,” I said, hugging her even closer, kissing the top of her head. When I breathed in, I could smell the shampoo she used. It was a pleasant smell, the sort of muted cherry that they used for candy and treats. It made me smile, as I continued, “But you’ve got nothing to worry about. Mom and Dad have both told me they’re excited to see you.”

	Hanako sighed, her breath tickling my neck as she turned her head to look up at me. “Yeah,” she said in a miserable tone, “The whole s-seeing part is what I’m worried about…”

	I didn’t meet her gaze. “Yeah,” I say, “About that…”

	From the corner of my eye, I saw Hanako cock her head to the side, the same adorable way she always did when she was confused. It’s such an innocent gesture that I immediately feel myself fill with guilt.

	“What do you mean?” Hanako asks.

	“Uh, there’s a slight chance that maybe, just maybe my parents, well…” I pretend to cough into my hand for a moment before saying in a very small voice, “they already saw you in a photo online.”

	Hanako went stiff in my arms. For a while, the only noise I can hear is the clacking of the train has it travels down the tracks. I scratched my nose, trying to seem bashful as I turn to look at Hanako. Her mouth had dropped open and a blush had spread across her face, bright red against her pale skin. Our eyes met for only an instant before she buried her face into my chest and began to beat against my shoulders with balled fists.

	“Hiiiisao!” She squealed, the noise muffled by my jacket, “Hisao, h-how could you!?”

	“Hey, hey!” I said, wrapping my arms around her to pin her arms in place where they couldn’t strike at me anymore, “It was Akira’s fault, not mine!”

	Hanako lifted her head just enough so that I could see her eyes, the rest of her face still hidden in the folds of my jacket. Her brow was furrowed to such an angry point that she didn’t have to say “Explain!” aloud, her expression asked it for her.

	“You remember that party we had for Akira’s big promotion this summer?” I said, speaking faster and faster as I went, “Well, apparently she was snapping photos all night long and got a good one of us together. And, I guess she just decided to upload it onto Facebook and for some reason, she just tagged me in it and you know my Mom checks Facebook more often than I do, so by the time I noticed it was up, she had already seen it and-”

	Hanako cuts me off me by pushing hard against me, reaching for her bag, and digging for her phone. I felt a smile creep onto my lips as I watched Hanako because, even though her expression was clearly that of distress, she was still somehow the cutest thing I’ve ever seen. The curve of her eyebrows over her worried eyes, the way she bit her lip, the motion she made when she pushed her bangs back out of her eyes, all of it together combined to make a face that I just loved seeing. Worried Hanako was without a doubt one of the cutest forms of Hanako.

	“There you are!” Hanako said softly, pulling her phone out. With a speed few could match, she began to search online for the offending photo, her finger a blur as it swiped and tapped at the screen. I reached over, trying to put my arms around her once again.

	“Come on, Hanako,” I said as gently as I could, “It really doesn’t matter that-”

	“Not now, Hisao,” Hanako said tensely, swatting away my arms without ever taking her gaze away from her phone. After a moment, she began to hum quietly. It was one of those habits that I’m not sure she even she realized she had, not that I was complaining. She was a born singer and even just her humming sounded heavenly.

	As Hanako searched, I took a moment to look out the train window once more. The train was passing a station and I was just able to make out a sign that said “Mutsu-Yanagita” before we left it behind in a whirl of white snow. Good, I thought, not much longer now. My attention was brought back to Hanako as I heard her give a surprised gasp.

	Hanako’s eyes were wide and she seemed frozen, her finger hovering above the glowing screen of her phone. I couldn’t see what she was looking at, but judging by how her cheeks were blushing a deep shade of red, I could guess that she had found the photo. Her free hand went to her face, covering her eyes, her head leaning all the way back into the seat as she groaned, “Akira…”

	I chuckled, clamping my mouth shut to keep as quiet as possible. I couldn’t help it. I know Hanako hates it when people call her such, but she really was very cute when she got all worked up over nothing. She was too cute for words, in a way that worked a spell on everyone she let get close to her.  I leaned over towards her, looking at the picture on her phone.

	It was actually a pretty good shot, a side-by-side of Hanako and myself, sitting on the red velvet couches at the karaoke place near Yamaku we often visited. I had my arm around her shoulders, and she had an arm around my waist, both of us laughing at something. I had thrown my head back as I laughed while Hanako was holding her hand to her mouth as she giggled.  In the dim lighting of the room, with the flicker of the disco lighting above, I thought we looked like a pretty cool couple, just two kids enjoy the night without a worry in the world. Best of all however, was the fact that Hanako’s hair wasn’t covering half her face. She had it brushed back behind her ear, the happiness on her face exposed to the whole world.

	“It’s a beautiful picture,” I said, putting my hand on Hanako’s knee. Hanako let out a breath she had been holding in, sighing loudly. She turned her head towards me, meeting my gaze. Her eyes darted back and forth, searching my face for any hint of deceit or mockery. Putting her hand over mine, she smiled sweetly and asked, “You really think so?”

	“Of course I do.” I let the moment last for a few seconds, then smirked and shrugged. “What can I say, Akira really got my good side in it, though all my sides are good so it wasn’t really hard.” I looked at Hanako from the corner of my eye before continuing, “Oh, and I guess you looked alright, too.”