Natural Born Derper Part 2 - Derp Harder

Anon turns and shoves open the door to Sugar Cube Corner. "Come on in Derps, still owe you some crullers or something.
>Smiling happily, Derpy gallops in behind him. "Honey glazed?"
"Ha, ya ya, I'll get on it." He waves at Pinkie behind the counter who waves back with at least three hooves.
>"Morning Nonny!"
Anon pulls on his apron and slips behind the counter. "Hey Pinks, gonna get right to work."
>"That's the spirit!" she high five/hooves him on his way by.
“You wait right there Derps, I’ll get right on it.”
>Practically dancing in spot, she takes a table and prepares to wait.
>It’s then that the rooms heavy atmosphere hits her, the place isn’t as crowded as usual and the pones that are here are all whispering silently to themselves and doing their best not to look at her.
>When she looks over them, they all conspicuously avoid her gaze.
>To her right, she sees Lyra grimly eyeing her harp case and visibly fidgeting.
>Derpy frowns and starts slowly inching her hoof to her saddle bag.
>The room freezes as BonBon hops out of her chair and trots up to the counter. “Pinkie dear?”
>“Ya Bonny?”
>“Would you mind grabbing me a snackerdoodle?”
>“Sure thing Bonny!” she grabs one of the snackerdoodles from behind the glass.
>“No not that one.”
>Pinkie scratches her mane. “Not this one?”
>“No.. the one in the back.”
>“But… there are no more…”
>“Oh Pinkie, they’re in the back.”
>Pinkie gasps. “There are snackerdoodles in the back!?”
>“Of course, way in the back darkest corner of the store.”
>Pinkie salutes and runs out back. “I’m on  the case!”
>Bonny turns and glares sharply at Derpy. “Take your time..”
>The room explodes into action as Bonny grabs some cookies from behind the counter and hurls them at Derpy with deadly pinpoint accuracy.
>Thinking fast, Derpy kicks her table up to shield herself as she grabs her trusty rolling pin out of her pack.
>Bonny goes for more ammo as Lyra pulls out her harp and rushes at Derpy, playing some dramatic music as she goes.
>Derpy kicks the cookie imbedded table into Lyra and sends her flying into the wall before hurling herself into the air and preparing to finish the job. But, her hooves slippery from all the sweets she had eaten this morning, sends the rolling pin flying out of her grasp and sailing at Bonny, who leaps for cover behind the counter.
>With incredible reflexes, Dr Hooves jumps out from behind the counter and parries the rolling pin away with his spinning mop.
>Lotus and Aloe  take this opportunity to jump down from their hiding spots in the ceiling wielding stools.
>Seeing them, Derpy slams her hooves into the floor, popping the floorboards up and flinging Aloe shrieking through the open window.
>Lotus, screaming in rage, swings wide as Derpy fluidly dodges aside.
>Dr Hooves pokes forward with his mop, but Derps slips on some discarded custard and inadvertently avoids him entirely.
>Quickly flapping her wings, Derpy flies up, narrowly dodging more of Bon Bon’s deadly sugary delights that imbed themselves into the wall behind her.
>Pinkie pops out of the back. “Hey Bonny I just don’t see any…”
>Bonny starts hurling more cookies. “Keep looking Pinkie! I’m sure they‘re there!”
>Pinkie salutes again and hops back into the kitchen. “Ok dokie!”
>Having recovered, Lyra kicks away the table and throws an errant banana sundae at Derpy, nailing her square in the face.
>Unable to see Derpy, collides into the wall, blowing a large section of it to splinters.
>Dr Hooves, Lyra, Bonny and the remaining lotus twin all gather and stare out the hole in the wall.
>“Did we get her?” Bonny mumbles.
>They all stare at each other uneasily till Lyra pushes Dr. Hooves forward, “Go check!”
>Dr. Hooves wipes some sweat from his brow, hoists up his mop and shakily trots toward the hole.
>He yelps in fear as he see’s Derpy hurtling toward him with a torn up lamp post swung over her shoulder. “Get DOWN!” he screams as he jumps for cover.
>But its too late as Derpy swings with all her might and turns what was left of the wall into so much wooden confetti.
>When the dust settles, the only ones left standing are Bonny and Derpy. Breathing heavily, they circle each other menacingly.
>Bonny grabs a broken board off the floor. “You just couldn’t do it could you?”
>Derpy, still holding her completely bent out of shape lamp post just glares back.
>Bonny yells in frustration as she charges forward. “You couldn’t just stick to the background like a good little mare!”
>Derpy tries to dodge but slips on the same custard from before. She tries to correct herself with her wings and hooves but instead just accidentally grabs Bonny and they both go sailing through the air like a spinning dervish of doom.
>Completely out of control they separate and slam into opposite walls, as they try to stand, they both freeze as what’s left of the walls begin to creak ominously.
>They both yell in surprise as half of Sugar Cube corner collapses on top of them.
Anon walks out of the kitchen with a paper bag of fresh sweets in his hand. “Hey we were all out of honey but I…” he drops the bag on the counter as he notices the damage. “The hell happened out here?!”
>The ponies all groan in pain as they pull themselves out of the wreckage that was Sugar Cube Corner’s dining area.
>Derpy pushes some rubble off of her and sheepishly grins at Anon. “I… I uh, tripped on some custard…”
“Ya that makes sense.”
>Pinkie comes hopping out of the back room with a plate full of Snackerdoodles on her back. “Classic Derpy!”
Anon laughs as he spins and high five/hooves her. “Yep, classic Derpy!”