Thread 13: Stories 46-60

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>Chrysalis
“Various Changelings”
‘???’
_____

Canterlot ballroom. A safe haven of Changeling rehabilitation, it was the humble abode for the lost, defeated, humbled, or otherwise wayward creatures of that bug-like race.

And, most importantly, it was a scene of nonstop chaos.

“I swear to Celestia if you don’t stop cheating-

“I’m not cheating, you just suck!”

“You put down two O’s in the same turn. The SAME turn.”

“It’s true, I saw it, you did.”

“Shut up, snitch. Hey, maybe that’s your talent, snitching!”

“Tried that, got my shit punched in. Now I mostly just snitch on stuff everyone already sees.”

“…anyway, there’s not a rule that says I can’t go twice in the same turn!”

“It’s freaking implied! Tic-Tac-Toe is not a game where two moves are ever accepted!”

“Guys, guys- hey guys, look! I’m doing it! I’M DOING-"

*thud*

“THESE FUCKING HOLES MAN!”

“Sheesh, juggy, just give it up.”

“Never! I finally earned a nickname off this stupid talent! I’ll make it work somehow!”

“Hope lives eternal in that one, I sw-”

“EH! You just tried to put two X’s!”

“You already put two O’s, what’s it matter?”

“You shouldn’t cheat just because I do! Have some honor about you!”

Chrysalis sat in an unusual silence, surveying her adorably dense underlings with a soft smile. When she looked at them out there, having a chaotic and carefree good time, it was easy to forget that they were considered the stuff of nightmares by some ponies around Equestria. Love-stealing demon-bugs. Right. More like spontaneously combusting juggle-bugs.

She chuckled under her breath yet continued to remain absolutely still. What she was doing required a fair bit of concentration and with them bouncing about as they were, she had to apply double the focus to make sure none were missed.

‘Ah, so this is where you’ve been all day.’

The voice that sounded behind her was instantly recognizable and Chrysalis sported a fanged grin.

>Aw, you found me. Is our game of hide and seek over so soon?

‘I’d be sincerely surprised if you could find a spot big enough to hide that ass.’

>Strange. I don’t know whether to feel insulted or overjoyed at that one.

‘You’re looking a might fatigued, Chrysalis. Are you okay?’

>Doing a Queen’s work once in awhile can leave a girl tired, okay?

‘You? Doing a Queen’s work? Okay, which Changeling are you and why’re you pretending to be Chrysalis? I knew your butt was a few inches too big!’

>…Oh hardy har har, Shiny. Although thanks for admiring my wonderful ass, always appreciated.

‘Really though, what does a Queen’s, uh… work entail that keeps you rigid like that?’

Silence followed his probing question, during which Chrysalis inhaled… held it… then exhaled, her chest rising and lowering.

>It entails keeping my followers alive, which I guess makes them happy.

‘…come again?’

>We Changelings thrive on love but over eighty percent of my hive stay within the ballroom, without access to that life-sustaining emotion. So I… I give them some of mine.

‘…’

>I-I mean honestly, they’re so helpless without me. Like children they are, worse than Two. Just look at that one over there trying to juggle. With holey hooves. Pointless. And that one up there on the high wire. I’ll probably have to give him a double dose of love for when he eventually falls.

‘So that’s why you look so tired….’

>A minor inconvenience, nothing big. Can’t have them dying or else there’d be all sorts of inspections, people would point hooves, it’d be a real m-

She nearly lost all focus when she felt the warmth of Shiny’s muzzle press up against the back of her neck. His every breath against her caused a shiver to cascade down her spine.

>What… w-what’re you doing?

‘Helping.’

>Helping…? The hell do you mean by that?

‘I’m loving you. You should feel it in a few seconds, trust me. I’m feeling very lovey towards you right now. You can share it with the others; it should lessen the stress, right?’

>…ngh.

‘Are you bleeding out the nose…?’

>Love overdose, you gave me too much….

‘I didn’t give anything, you created it so now I’m sharing it with- oh snap, that’s a lot of blood.’

>I… I don’t mind….
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Decided to try the Scots accented 77 again... and I wanted to test myself by trying to see how well I could do 77 in a very... unusual state of being. (in this case, getting work up like hell by Cheerlie)
I am so. So sorry for this.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1vP5TmL7vk0

http://vocaroo.com/i/s1n3rjv7vMXo
I was happy with most of this (though my Shining Armor sucks) but I didn't feel Sombra's last line and had to try again.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s1OtiDQYbNGe

And just for the heck of it, I'm opening up requests.

Small notes: I tend to do baritone mostly and I will not even attempt a female voice as I know it will sound poor.

And just for fun, an original thing in which Shining Armor contemplates Sombra's gnarly voice.
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0acGmHluZEP

I don't know why, but I love giving Sombra the most gravelly voice I can muster, even if I can't keep it up for too long, it records low on my mic, and it's nothing like his show voice.
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The world within the simulator consisted of a scant few rooms, the centerpiece being veiled in swatches of fabric from ceiling to floor, some thick velvets, others thin laces, all of them luxurious and elaborate. The ethereal quality of the room was added by the dim, shimmering lighting and thick, sweet smoke of incenses which formed a thick miasma as a vessel for the exotic music dancing through the air.

It was a perfect fantasy for the young dragon sitting in the plush chair, feet propped up on a velvet ottoman, waiting anxiously for something.

Soon the trial of his patience was relieved as the music crescendo and in danced an orange alicorn in harem wear, her movements were awkward and her face was flushed in disbelief she was really doing this. But when she saw her patron's eyes go wide, for once being acknowledged as a beautiful mare, she swept forward with new confidence and danced to the music in a slow, seductive sway.

The instrumental swelled once more and a white alicorn moved in bold motions, her outfit as scantily as her partner's but while the orange one had been demure, the white one was bold. She'd raise her hips in front of the small dragon, moan sensually as she would pull the fabric taut against her, and whisper promises of pleasure when she'd lean in close towards her patron.

The two dancers seemed apathetic rivals at first, each circling closer and closer towards the dragon, yet neither one seemed to mind the other until orange and white were upon the dragon, the once spacious chair became wonderfully claustrophobic as they joined the dragon in his seat.

The dragon was fidgeting and anxious, ancient instincts commanding him to breed pounding in his mind and hands folded politely over his lap while the two mares wordlessly moved in closer in their argument, the gossamer pants doing nothing to conceal their decency.

Orange and white, gold and royal clashed silently over the dragon patron.

White stared down her opposition who simply refused to yield, instead reaching down to give her full attention to the dragon, but the gesture of intimacy would never come, at least for much later.

Down below, the dragon was paralyzed with a delightful pleasure between two sets of legs and then felt the heat from each treasure spike glisten before something wet landed on his face. He chanced a glance up and saw white had seized orange and now both dancers had parted their lips to each other instead, the first dancer overwhelmed while the white one's grasp pulled her closer.

The two dancers became so distracted, they had not noticed their patron disappear from his seat until a sharp tug and the sound of tearing fabric alerted them they had been stripped. They would not have the time to take it in either when ecstasy shot through their bodies.

The dragon had joined in and encouraged the two to continue

Many hours later, the haze of lust had settled, hours later, the occupants of the room had vanished satisfied, hours later, the creator of the simulation chamber noted three terminals had each been accessed at different times, and the three users had made a terrible error that invalidated each's request for two additional simulacrums to join them.

NON CANON
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>Maneiac
"Sombra"
'Filly Scout'

>Haha, Aetherio, do you see that!?

"Indeed I do!"

>Do-Gooders! Namby pamby goody two shoes!

"Disgusting!"

>I will not stand for this, let's get 'em!

The two mighty super villains leap into action, sprinting towards their prey with malice in their eyes.

>YOOOOU!

'Good morning, ma'am, would you like a Filly Scout Cookie?'

>We're onto you, Steadfast Scout! Give us your Super Samoas or diiiiiieeee!

'Wha-but I-'

"Fork them over, Steadfast Scout, or face the consequences!"

'Eek, King Sombra!'

The Filly Scout runs away, leaving the two villains to maniacally...help themselves to her cookies.

>Another good bit of villainy done, Aetherio! But the day is young, and there are more heroes to thwart, come on!

Maneiac runs off, a gleeful smile on her face.

"Just a moment, oh Baddest of Hair Days!"

Nonchalantly, Sombra produces a bag of bits and places them on the Scout's stand as her head slowly peeks up from the edge.

"Keep the change."

>AETHERIO!

"Coming!"

Sombra whooshed off, humming a cheerful little tune to himself
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>SA
"Applejack"
~Cadence~
[Chrysalis]
{Celestia}
~~~

>You ever feel like we somehow got the short end of the stick on the whole 'ruler' thing?

"Ah' do. Ya' know what Ah' planned ta' do with mah' life? Work the farm, raise me a big ol' happy family someday, keep goin' till the day ah' dropped dead jus' like Granny, and finally move on in peace, surrounded by mah' loved ones and friends, never recognized as anyone special, just a loving mare who ya' could always go to fer' a problem. You?"

>Well, prior to seriously dating Cadence, it was become the captain of the guard, continue on in peacetime as my predecessors did, marry a nice, normal mare, nothing special at all, and quietly retire at age fifty or so and spend my Twilight years in quiet rest and contemplation, nothing really to impact my time here but a plaque and a picture in the line of past Captains.

"Boat's kind of sailed on that one, eh?"

~Stop kicking me out! It's my hot tub!~

[We were here first.]

{First come first- ooooh, bubble jet has just kicked on, that's nice. Riiiight up on my back.}

~IT'S MINE! I BOUGHT IT!~

[Yeah, with taxpayer money.]

{So decadent.}

~YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!~

{The amount of funds spent on my various sweets are a necessary evil to keep me from snapping and dropping the sun on your head, be thankful.}

[And I don't spend taxpayer money. My guys don't actually, like, pay taxes. I would do something about that, but most of them don't have jobs. Blood, stone, yadda yadda.]

~Come ooooon! Let me iiiiiin!~

{Nope.}

~Shiny they're picking on me! Make them stoooooop!~

>...And I just want you to remember, destiny itself chose those three.

"Ah'm startin' ta' think we might be a big, cosmic joke of some sort."

>Feels like, it, right?

~NEEEEHHHHHH~

[HAH! Size does matter.]

{She is just adorable.]

~NEEEEEEEEEHHHHHH~
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>Dadling
"Bat-mom"
~~~

>YAY!

"Well, you look happy. Really, really happy. Happy enough to bounce on the ceiling. I guess physics is on a lunch break or something?"

>I got a letter!

"A letter saying...?"

>"Where are you?"

"..."

>...That's all of it, according to the guard. I don't know, for sure, I can't read pony.

"Okay, walk me through this. Why is that something to be excited about?"

>Because the only one who can write pony all that well is the Queen! My Queen asked where I was and implied she wanted to know if I was okay! YAAAAAAAAY!

"This really that big for you?"

>REALLY THAT BIG!? Listen, love of my life who I would never question, it's big. No Queen, EVER, has ever asked this of a drone. High ranking soldier? Probably. Infiltrator? Strong 'MAYBE' on that one. But a drone? I didn't meet all of them, but from what I heard standard operation is "is he gone for two days? He's dead. Kill him if he tries to come back because he's a zombie."

"Huh."

>It's just... it's so nice not to be reserve cannon fodder, you know?

"Well, I'm happy for you. You want me to help you down from the ceiling?"

>No no, just... just let me bask.

"If you say so."

>...

"...You realize that was probably sent by-"

>Let me be happy, damn it.
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>Applejack
“Luna”
_______

“What is it thou requires of us, orange one?”

>…still with the ‘orange one’, huh? Even after all this months? Okay, right. Anyway, Ah was wonderin’ if ya had that list of new recruits ready so we could sort through ‘em.

“Yes, concerning that, we found the request quite odd! Why would we need to waste time with new recruits when our own legion stands as strong as it ever was?”

>Well, y’all gonna be losin’ one pair of hooves soon enough, best to prepare and pick a pony to fill that spot, Ah reckon.

“…wouldst thou care to elaborate?”

>That one nightguard mare, uh… where’s her paper, Ah had it riiiight… here we go. Glimmer. That’s the one. Ah gotta pull her from yer’ ranks.

“Now you listen here, you pessimistic applebucking headache-”

>Wow.

“-Glimmer is one of our most trusted and loyal guards! It’ll be a cold day in the burning bowels of Taratarus before we even entertain the thought of handing her over to the likes of you!”

>Luna, Ah-

“If it’s a matter of budget concerns we would rather hand over five other guards than Glimmer! We NEED her! Just as mine sister has her blasted cake and Two hugs, we have a Glimmer! No! You won’t have her, I won’t allow this, I’ll do whatever it takes to-”

>She’s pregnant.

“EEEEEEEE!”

>Yeah, settle yer’ damper, sheesh. Ah’m not takin’ her for financial reasons, Ah’m takin’ her because legally she can’t be allowed to work after passin’ a certain milestone of her pregnancy.

“EEEEEEE!”

>…Can y’all, uh, stop that? That high-pitch squeal? It’s-

“EEEEEEEE! Are… are you sure, do you know this for certain?”

>Nearly the entire castle knows, ‘cept you and the beetle. Well, ‘cept the beetle now.

The inclusion of Chrysalis flew over Luna’s excited head.

“The joy has been doubled indeed for this is wondrous news! We must be off to see this with our own eyes!”

>Luna, wait, Ah need those recruit names first so Ah can-

Clopping her hooves together with a thrilled flourish, Luna pulled a swift about-face and galloped from the room, the speed of her departure kicking up a wind powerful enough to send all of Applejack’s forms into the air.

>…

*POP!*

>AAAAAAAGH!… Ah buckin’ swear, everyday it gets just a lil’ bit harder not to try that Russian Roulette game mahself.
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>SA
"Chrysalis"
~~~~

>Yet another power that requires total darkness? Did you guys just like really dark caves or something?

"..."

>Realized it as soon as I said it.

"Alright... aaaand... TA DAAAAA!"

>...wow.

"Wow?"

>That's... that is really beautiful.

"Really?"

>Yeah. That's such a warm, pleasant glow. It even mixes with your hair and wings to give off this really ethereal look to it. Almost heavenly.

"Oh stoooop. Flatterer."

>What's the downside to this?

"I can't see anything."

>...What? I mean, it's not providing a lot of light, but I can still read my papers, at least.

"No, I mean I personally can't see anything. It's like shining a light right behind my eyes, it's all green glow to me."

>Oh. That's a shame, you really do look amazing right now.

"Oh, you flatterer!"

>Why was this one made?

"Sexy answer or not sexy answer?"

>Not sexy, please.

"Cousin Lunactias wanted to pretend to be a god, and convinced an entire village with this trick. Lots of sacrifices made in her name, and a TON of wealth acquired. She was one of the more successful Queens, until this trick made her go blind and she walked into a Dragon."

>It killed her?

"Nah, she walked into his spike and impaled herself. He took weeks to even notice it."

>Eeesh, can't say she didn't deserve it, but...

"...The sexy answer is that it gives off these AMAZING ripples down the back and up the wings when you fu-"

>Got it. Should you stop? I don't want you to go blind.

"Naaaahhh, I'd have to do this twenty four seven for a solid four months before I did any damage I couldn't instantly repair. She just got caught up in being a god is all."

>Oh... could you-

"Stay like this for a bit?"

>Please? It's really nice to look at.

"Oh, fine, but just because you're appreciating my good looks for once."

>Just this once.
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>Luna
"Batmom"
'Dadling'
-Twilight-
~~~
"I know I legally can't fight during my maternity leave, but what if I just hung out with Princess Luna? Is that alright?"

'Sounds like you and Princess Luna were pretty close. What did you two spend your shifts doing?'

~Inexplicably visible to the characters flashback!~

A non-pregnant Batmom and Luna sit in Luna's room, their manes done up in voluminous and funky 80's styles, pictures of handsome stallions, radio blaring synthesized music, the air is thick with hairspray, and every other 80's pop-girl effect was laying around

>Oh, my god!

"Oh! My god!..."

>Ohmygawd!

"Like! Oh, my gawd!"

>OHMIGAWD~!

"OH! MY! GOD!"

And it continues like this until dawn

~Flashback end~

'...'

"Yeah... looking back, I think getting pregnant's made me smarter."

-I can confirm this!-
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>Chrys
"AJ"
'Spike'
[AB]
{SB}
(SL)
~~~
We join AJ and Spike entering their shared office to find none other than the Cutie Mark Crusaders tackling the royal paperwork and Sweetie Belle on the phone

{Listen, Equestria is not going to lower the price of hardwood exports no matter how much you cry about it, your Kingdom's economy is stable enough, you're just being greedy!}

"... Howdy girls..."

[Hey, Sis! We're workin' on becomin' Bureaucrats! Can't talk though, got some reforms and proposals to write up an' we're oin tha clock! Mah next paper outta help expand schools ta be more than jus' one class fer al grades fer fillies an' foals o' different levels o' learnin'!]

'Sweetie, who are you talking to?'

{The Griffon Queen. She wants us to give her kingdom a discount on our hardwood exports, can you believe that? Hang on, Shining Armor's on the other line}

(Ugh! Another 'gag bill'! First a piece of paper with just a rock, now a bill proposing 'obligatory aiding of changelings through sex'? What idiot would fall for this? It's written in crayon!)

Chrysalis pops out of nowhere

>IT WAS A GOOD PLAN, YOU LITTLE BRATS!

Chrysalis runs off crying while Applejack and Spike feel a bit more of their confidence in their abilities slipping away

'Think we could keep them interested for at least a month?'

"We'll be lucky if their interest lasts till the end o' tha day."

'Damn.'

{You're breakin' my balls, Shiny, you're breakin' my balls.}
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>18
"42"
~~~~

>DAMN DAMN DAMN DAMN!

"That... is a loooong scroll. What the hell are you writing?"

>Stuff that won't work in the pursuit to get some multi-combo action from Shiny. This is all the stuff that's been attempted so far.

"By you?"

>Oh, hell no, I'm a third of this. Fuck, I might be a fourth, this is mostly Chrysalis's stuff, but I log it anyway. Just to stay ahead of the curve.

"You spend your lunch breaks on the weirdest things."

>Hey, I just finished laying the ground work for FOUR new universities AND another railway system, I can do whatever the hell I want while I'm stuffing my face full of ho-hos and ice cream!

"Sweet Chitania's thunder, that is a lot of it. Have you been... seeing anyone on the side, by any chance?"

>Pfft, no... no I have not because I am fucking pathetic.

"18? You okay?"

>I actually tried once, like, four months ago. Almost asked someone out on a date. Was about to just ask and then... damn it, it was like my whole body thought "This is dumb." Didn't even get a word out. Every time I try I just think to myself "I have absolutely no interest in any of these ponies and/or Changelings." And I lose interest immediately... wait, hold up, why would all of this mean...no!

"Er, no?"

>Are you... erm, I mean, did you have an 'experience' you wanted to talk to me about?

"What do you mean?"

>Fuck it, going blunt. Did you finally trade in your V-card?

"NO!... I mean, I'm not a- I never told you I was a- I mean you don't know if I'm a- YOU DON'T KNOW!"

>...

"...A-hem. No. I only asked because one of our rank recently has impregnated one of Luna's soldiers, and from what I have learned pregnancy cravings can consist of such odd appetites as the ones you are displaying. It was a simple question from commanding officer to subordinate, nothing more."

>Ah. So, were you happy when you found out Shiny could get you pregnant?

"Ye-NO! I DID NOT FEEL HAPPY OVER THAT! B-b-because that does not matter! I mean, I guess it matters to them but I have no investment in- I mean I DO have investment in the continuation of our species-NOT THROUGH ME DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK!"

>...

"...YOU DON'T KNOW!"

>...

"...Oh dear! It's window cock- WINDOW CLOCK! CLOCK IS WHAT I MEANT! THAT WAS CLEVER STOP STARING YOU DON'T KNOW-"

*CRASH!*

>...If I could understand half of that, I would probably be laughing.
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>Braeburn
"Little Strongheart"
'Various Bandits'
{???}
~~

>Shoot, this ain't good.

"Which part, exactly? The 'ponies with guns from those broken robot' part, the 'being surrounded' part, or the 'we're so boned' part?"

>All the above, actually.

'Now, you just give us that nice big ol' shipment o' money, and ain't nobody gonna be shot full o' holes, ya' hear?'

'Wait, Ah' thought you said we were gonna shoot 'em anyway?'

'AH' WAS TRYIN' TA' HIDE THAT FACT, THAT YOU VERY MUCH!'

'Why, boss? They're right there, iffnin' we're gonna shoot 'em, let's just do it.'

'Yeah, what're we waitin' for?'

'...Huh, guess ya'll have a point. Really, we should'a just shot 'em and been gone by now.'

'Yeah, big ol' waste o' time. There's only two.'

'Probably could'a just lined 'em up and saved on the bullets too.'

'Eh, hindsight is 20-20.'

>Well, sug, Ah' ain't seein' a way outta this. Before we go, Ah' just want ya' ta' know that-

"LOOK! IT'S HIM!"

'Him?'

>THE DEMON RIDER!

Atop a plateau, shrouded by the light of the moon, a single figure stood tall. Smoke poured from his mouth, and he spoke with a voice like the dead whispering in the night.

{THANKS, JERK!}

>...
"..."
'...'

{No, really, it's hard enough for me to light this up normally. You know what I have to do now? I have to do the fast method. The fast method is SO ANNOYING.}

>...He ain't quite what Ah' imagined.

"Yeah, wasn't he supposed to be some legendary demon who fought on the side of the angels?"

'Not scary, ta' be honest.'

'...What is that he's pourin' all over himself?'

'It smells like-'

As if hell itself had cracked open, a plume of flame erupted from where he stood.

"...I feel let down, slightly."

'Well, that aside now we can... is... is that fire moving?'

A demonic, raspy cackle rang out. It was their only warning before a fireball flew forth, swirling through the air in loop-de-loops before rocketing down to the bandits. The bullets fired in hasty fear did nothing, seemingly passing right through his firey body. A string of fire launched from his hoof, slicing through the weaponry like a knife through butter. Chains lashed out, whipping around all four of them and tangling them up in their searing, painful embrace.

He landed before the pony and buffalo, giving off a winning smirk that was completely masked by all the fire.

{No need to thank me, citizens! All in a days work!}

>...Ya' set our cart on fire.

{...OH CRAP OH JEEZOHCRAPCRAPCRAP SORRY I'M SO SORRY I CAN'T PAY FOR THAT I'M POOR SORRY!}

"Well, it is better than getting shot, I'll give you that."

>Much prefer the cart burnin' ta' bein' shot. Would'a preferred both, but eh?

"...You can stop trying to put it out now, it's only making it worse."

{A-hem, erm, yes... AWAY I GO! INTO THE- dang it, I'm low on fire. Can I go roll around in that for a little bit? Is that an issue with you guys?}

>Ah' guess not.

{Cool. WHEEEEE!}

"...He looks so happy."

>Yeeep.

{AH HAH! And with my flames restored, AWAY I GO INTO THE NIGHT!}

With that, he took to the sky, a trail of flame behind him as he flew off to parts unknown.

"...He seemed nice."

>Hmph.

"Don't be jealous."

>AH'M NOT! Ah can do that too! Ah' just don't wanna!

'OH SWEET CELESTIA THIS HURTS!'

'THESE CHAINS ARE BURNING MY SKIIINN!'

'SO MANY REGRETS, SO MANY, MANY REGRET!'

'GETTING CHAINED BY A CRAZY DEMON ESPECIALLY!'

'WELL, THAT JUST WENT WITHOUT SAYING.'

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>32
"42"
'77'

"Still down for the count, huh?"

'He comes and goes, whatever reliving that memory did to him, it's certainly hit him hard.'

"I've come to tell you the rest of us have agreed, his performance earlier qualifies as his vetting process, do you agree?"

'I do, but it's ultimately his decision, is it not?'

"You think he'd just refuse?"

'It wouldn't be the first time he resisted someone welcoming him with open arms.'

"He's lucky the Queen didn't order him executed. I know I'd do it happily."

'I'm not particularly fond of his recent actions either, but he hasn't shown any signs of running away to his cave, so perhaps he could come around.'

"Or have the sense beaten into him."

>And just who would be delivering the beatings, lovely sister?

32 has awakened in his infirmary bed, smirking at the other two changelings.

"Me, 77, the others too if they feel like it, which I think they will."

>It's the smile isn't it? I just have one of those faces...

'I assume you heard the news, brother?'

>Indeed I did, give me some time to think about it. I admit the idea entices me, but my actions were not meant to impress you. Rather they were to inform my friend of my past. Give the others my regards, of course.

'Of course, Brother. Now I shall leave you to your rest.'

With a nod, 77 moves to leave the room, 42 following him.

>Sister, may I ask a question?

42 looks back, arching an eyebrow.

"Huh?"

>When you take that monstrosity on your head off, how often does it take the wig with?

32 cracked another smile.

"32."

>Yes?

42 holds up a front hoof.

"Gun club or no, when you get out of that bed, you, me, and my brass knucks are going to spend a lot of quality time together."

>Can't wait.

42 storms out as 32 stretches out with a grin.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Spike
"Blueblood"
~~~~

>So we had a little battle royal between us members of the gun club.

"..."

>It was great. We had 2 prospective members join in the fight too. Twilight and Potatojack, or at least that's what we call her now I guess. She doesn't seem to remember her number.

"..."

>Anyway, it was a great fight and it ended in a draw. We thought they proved themselves well enough though and let them both join the club. Then there was a brutal fight between 77 and 42. 42 managed to pull off a victory and to the finals she goes. I fought against Diamond Tiara and boy it was a tricky battle for a bit, but I managed to find an opportunity and put her to sleep. Took a while to get rid of the smell.

"..."

>Then came the final battle. It was me against 42....weeeell long story short I lost the fight, but I made a lot of money betting against myself, so it worked out pretty well...well almost. I had to eat Princess Cadence's cooking. It was instant noodles, but somehow she managed to create an abomination that tried to eat me. How do you even do mess that up!?

"..."

>...Still nothing?

"..."

>I guess I'm cutting this visit short then.

"Uh wait...I...tell me how the Apploosa settlement is doing."

Spike gets back in his chair and continues talking.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Shiny
"Cadence"
~~~~

"Guess what? I made us a pot of Mac and Cheese. I'm pretty sure I got it right."

Shiny lifts the pot lid.
>...
He closes it.
>...
He opens it again.
>...honey...go get the shovel...and don't talk to Applejack or Pinkie Pie.

NON CANON
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