SciTwi & Anon Part 8

>The crowd of small people cheer as their presidents sign the treaty.
>"And with this, we have officially ended the war between the pixies and fairies!" one of them shouts with a hilariously high-pitched voice.
>Miniature confetti falls from the ceiling as a tiny orchestra starts to play.
>A fairy in a fancy-looking suit flies up to Twilight.
>"And as agreed for taking part in this, uh, peaceful conclusion," a he says as he hands her a rock just as large as his entire frame. "Here is what you asked for."
>Twilight grabs it with her thumb and index finger and eyes it carefully.
>"Good," she says as he pockets it.
>The fairy bows and leaves.
>"Okay, mission accomplished. Ready to head back?"
"Yeah. I think so," you reply while suppressing a yawn. "Don't know why you had do to this now, though. I'd usually be waking up by now."
>You and Twilight head over to the beacon, and she presses a button.
>Within seconds, you're back in the teleportation chamber.
>"Welcome back, Twilight and Anonymous," Cel says monotonously.
>You exit the chamber and stretch your limbs.
"Maybe I should take the day off. Hopping between worlds is a valid reason to be absent, right?"
>Twilight goes over to a machine and places the rock under its scanner.
>"I wish."
"Not enough love for that sort of traveling, I guess"
>You hear a sudden flapping of wings next to you, followed by a weight on your shoulder.
>"Did someone say 'love?'"
>You scream and jump back, and the weight leaves your shoulder.
>In front of you is one of those small people from the world you just left.
"What the fuck?"
>"Allow me to introduce myself," the tiny flying person says. "I'm the love pixie, here at your service."
"Uh, Twi? We have a problem."
>Twilight walks over.
>"Must've entered the perimeter when we jumped. Easy fix."
>She draws her firearm.
"Wait, stop!"
>Twilight lowers her gun and sighs.
>"Let me guess. It's not right to kill a seemingly innocent sentient being blah blah blah."
"No! Well, yes, actually."
>"Don't be fooled by their childlike appearance and nature. These things are nothing but pests."
>You walk over and wrestle the gun from her hold.
"Come on, Twi. Have a conscience for once. What harm could possibly come from this little guy?"
>The pixie gives an innocent-looking smile, showing off his perfect teeth.
>Twilight shoots you a look before throwing up her hands.
>"Fine. We'll just send him back after the chamber cools down."
"And how long is that going to take?"
>"About an hour."
"But school starts in thirty minutes!"
>"Not my problem," she says as she picks up her backpack. "That thing's your responsibility."
>You look at the pixie hovering a couple feet from your face.
>"Thanks for saving my life, mister human. For a moment there, I thought I was a goner."
"Anytime."
>Now what are you supposed to do with a pixie?
>You can't bring him to school for obvious reasons.
>And even though he seems harmless enough, you're not sure that you trust him enough to be roaming around on his own.
>You spot a jar lying on a table.
>Not exactly ideal, but it'll do.
"Hey, do you mind waiting in that jar until I get back? No offense, but I can't take the risk."
>"Not at all, mister kind human, sir!" he says with a salute, and he flies into the container with a grin on his face. "Just like this?"
>You walk over and screw the lid on.
"Yep. Thanks."
>The pixie looks around his new temporary home.
>"Uh, not to be rude, mister human, but could you perhaps poke a few holes at the top? So I can breathe, of course."
>You think the question over.
>No harm in doing that, right?
>Seems like a reasonable enough request.
>You pick up a screwdriver and punch a few holes in the lid.
"That good?"
>The pixie beams.
>"Perfect. Thank you."
"No problem."
>You pick up your backpack and head to the exit, where Twilight is struggling to pry open the lab door with a crowbar, a foot pushing against the wall.
>A rather amusing scene, given the primitive nature of her solution.
"Is there a problem, boss?"
>"Door's...stuck..." she manages to let out, sweat starting to form on her forehead.
"Allow me."
>She tries for several more seconds, but gives up and hands the tool to you.
>You stick it into the gap and start pulling.
>Creaking noises can be heard as the door tries to resist.
>But eventually, it yields and slams open with a loud bang.
>Twilight walks past you and starts walking up the stairs.
>You wipe a brow and lay the crowbar down.
"You're welcome!"
>"Uh huh."
>Typical Twi.

>As much as you hate to admit it, school is almost necessary for an education and a successful life.
>That is, unless it's not.
>"Remember, class," the teacher drones on with an air of self-righteousness. "That is why sometimes it is impossible to be racist or sexist against a specific group of people."
>You roll your eyes as you continue to doodle oppressive, privileged dicks on your notebook.
>Maybe you should become a professional phallic artist.
>Anything can be art nowadays, right?
>The bell rings and saves you from your suffering.
>You pack your things and start to join the herd of students walking out the door, not paying any attention to the teacher's reminders on homework due tomorrow.
>"Hey, dude."
>You turn around and see your friend.
"Yeah, man?"
>"Your backpack's open."
>Really? You could have sworn that you zipped it up not a minute ago.
>"Don't worry. I got it."
>Your friend starts closing it like the bro he is.
>Maybe you're just tired for the morning's adventure.
"Thanks, man."
>"No prob, fellow oppressor. Wanna stare-rape some girls next period?"
>You laugh, disregarding the strange looks some nearby students are giving you.
"Of course."

>You are Flash Sentry.
>And you are currently playing basketball with your bros.
>The sound of shoes sliding against the asphalt fills the air as you navigate around the opposing team.
>With the grace of a gazelle, you dribble past them and triumphantly dunk the ball through the hoop.
>It doesn't matter how little points a simple dunk gives you, but it sure does feel good.
>Besides, it's not about winning.
>It's just for fun...and maybe showing off a little.
>The bell rings, indicating the end of your game.
>Fun never seems to last that long.
>Your friends start heading out to their next class.
>"See you guys later."
>"Sure thing, dude."
>"Later, fags."
>You go to the corner to pick up your jacket and backpack.
"Hey," you say to Jack, who's walking next to you. "Wanna hang out after school?"
>"Sorry, man. I got a date tonight."
"Oh, that's cool..."
>"Later, man."
"Y-yeah. Later..."
>He leaves, and once again you're alone.
>All your friends are in relationships.
>It feels bad being the odd one out.
>It feels...uncool.
>You sigh and start walking to your next class.
>Where did you go so wrong?
>You were hitting it off with some strange girl from out of town or something, and then she left.
>And then a girl with the same name and face showed up.
>You figured that they might as well be the exact same people, but this one's such a bitch.
>Why is life so cruel?
"Man," you mumble to yourself. "I would love to just get a second chance at that."
>"Did someone say...'love?'" a small voice says next to you.
>You jump back and find yourself facing what appears to be a smaller man with wings.
"The heck are you?"
>"I'm the love pixie!" he says as he twirls in the air. "And I'm here to fix your personal love problem."
>Are you dreaming?
>You always said no to drugs, just like your parents taught you.
>Maybe you're dehydrated or something.
"Are you real?"
>The fairy-thing laughs.
>"Of course I'm real! Could a hallucination do...this?"
>He comes up to you and boops your nose.
>Definitely feels real.
"Probably not," you say as you rub where he touched you. "Did you say that you were a love fairy?"
>"Love PIXIE," he corrects. "I'm not one of those sub-pixie monsters. They're animals! All of them! But that's beside the point."
>He flies up so that he's inches from your face.
>"I'm here to fix YOUR love problem, no matter how big or small."
>You scratch your chin.
"Love problem, huh? Well..."
>"Yes?"
"Well, there is this one girl. I kinda like her, but she doesn't really like me back."
>"Say no more!"
>The pixie snaps his fingers, and a small pouch materializes in front of you.
>"Take it!"
>You gently grab the bag.
"What is this?"
>"It's love powder!" he almost shouts. "You just throw this into the eyes of your beloved, and she won't be able to take her eyes off of you."
>You open the tiny bag and examine the contents.
>Inside is what appears to be sparkling sand.
"So all I have to do is toss this sand stuff in her eyes?"
>"LOVE POWDER!" he snaps with indignation. "But yes."
>If the tiny talking flying man is telling you the truth, then maybe you do have a second shot at this.
"Thanks, love fa--, er, love pixie."
>"No problem! Best of luck, lover boy!" he says with a salute.
>He then flies off into the distance, doing whatever love pixies do.
>You close the bag and put it in your pocket.
>All you have to do is find a certain someone, and once again everything will be right in the world.

>You're navigating the bustling hallway, scanning the sea of faces.
>Where is she? She usually comes this way.
>Sure enough, you find Twilight walking to her next class.
>Here goes.
>You act as though you don't see her, then suddenly move out of the way and slam directly into her smaller frame.
>"Oof!" she grunts as she falls to the floor.
>Her glasses are knocked off her face, leaving her vulnerable to the powder in your closed fist.
"So sorry," you say as sincerely as you can. "Didn't see you there. Here, let me help."
>You then subtly throw the powder directly into her eyes.
>"What the--?"
>She covers her face and rubs her eyes as the powder hit their mark.
>You then hand over her glasses.
"Sorry."
>She puts them on and squints her eyes, adjusting to the change in vision.
>They make contact with yours, but instead of malice or apathy behind them, it's--
>"F-flash? Is that you?"
>You hold out a hand, your heart racing.
>Is she going to take it?
>Please do. Oh, please do.
>She lifts up a hand with uncertainty...
>Yes, yes...
>And then she places it in yours.
>Yes! It worked!
>You pull her up.
"Sorry about that."
>She looks away, as if she's uncertain about something.
>"N-no. It's f-fine."
>Play it cool, Flash.
"Okay, then. See you later, Twilight!"
>"Y-you too..."
>You walk away and head to your next class, using all your willpower to not fist bump here and now.
>It looks like things are finally looking up for you.
>If a magical flying person gave you this second chance, then surely the universe wills it that you two be together.
>It only makes sense.

>You are Anon.
>And you're sitting with Twilight at lunch.
>She's been acting rather strangely.
>Hasn't touched her food or played with whatever new invention she's making.
>Twi's just sort of...staring into empty space.
>You wave a hand in front of her.
"Hey, Earth to Twi."
>"Anon?"
"Yeah?" you say with a mouth full of burger. "What's wrong with you?"
>"What is it like to be...in love?"
>You choke on your food, bits of half-chewed meat flying onto the table.
"Did you just say...the L WORD? Hold on for a second."
>You hit your head a few times and dig a finger into an ear.
"Okay. Repeat the question."
>"What's being in love like?"
>You pause.
"What the fuck has gotten into you?"
>The door opens and Twi's head jerks up.
>Her eyes widen, and you turn to see who she's looking at.
"Don't tell me that you suddenly got the hots for Trash Sentry."
>He looks at her and smiles, and she looks back down on the table, clutching the sides of her head as if her brain is starting to leak out.
>"I-I don't understand. I just bumped into him on the way to class, and something happened. I don't know what. But ever since then, I...I..."
>She's starting to tremble.
>"I couldn't stop thinking about him. It's illogical. It's irrational. It's absolutely insane!"
"Welcome to the world of normal people, Twi."
>You lean in.
"But seriously," you whisper. "Trash. Sentry. What the fuck has gotten into you?"
>"Hey Twilight!"
>Her head instantly perks up.
>She's visibly blushing.
>Flash is standing over her, looking as nice as usual.
>That fucking fuckface.
>"Flash? W-what are you d-doing here?"
>"Oh, just getting some lunch. Hey, uhh..."
>He rubs the back of his head.
>"I know this is sudden, but do you want to go grab dinner...tonight?"
"Ha. As if. Right, Twi?"
>You start to drink your milk.
>"S-sure."
>You start choking on your beverage. Not because of her response, but totally because you just remembered that you hated milk.
>Unless it's with cereal.
>"Great! I'll pick you up at your place at 7! See you then!"
>He then walks away and gets in line to get food.
>You stare at her with your mouth agape.
"You're joking, right? You're just gonna stand him up as a sort of prank. RIGHT?"
>She doesn't reply.
>You know what? You're not hungry anymore, either.
"Help me out here, because I just don't get it. Of all people on this weird planet. You. YOU just happen to suddenly fall in love like some sort of teenage romance novel? It's as if some magical love fai--"
>You pause.
>It can't be.
>You sealed him in a jar.
>There's no way that he could have possibly escaped.
>But that's way more likely than Twilight finding true love on her own.
>A feeling that you thought was physically impossible for her.
"Hey, Twi?"
>No response. She's absentmindedly playing with her hair.
"Twi?" you repeat, snapping your fingers in front of her.
>"Huh? What?"
"Do you happen to have something that, I don't know, detects pixies or something like that?"
>"Yeah, sure..." she replies, digging into her backpack and handing you something the size of a small tablet. "Just turn it on and you're..."
>And she's gone once again. Probably daydreaming.
>"I gotta go," she says as though in a trance. "Class is starting soon."
>She then gets her things and heads for the exit.
>You turn to the device and examine it.
>There is more than one button on this thing, meaning that it's going to take a while to figure out how it works.
>Well that's just fucking fantastic.
>Fuck fuck fuckity...
>"I knew she'd give in sooner or later," a voice next to you says.
"Go away, Rarity. Not in the mood."
>"Ohh," she says and leans in. "Is someone perhaps...jealous?"
>You continue to press buttons on the device.
>So far, it's still off.
>Why doesn't Twilight ever make these things easily usable by non-mad scientists?
"I said I'm not jealous. Now go and solve a friendship problem or whatever you and your group of weirdos do."
>"Maybe a little? You have to admit that they're quiet darling together."
"I'm not jealous!" you shout and stand up.
>The cafeteria falls silent, and all eyes fall on you.
"It's not...It's just..." you try to explain, but you're at a loss of words. "Pixies, and fairies...and the air holes! The fucking air holes! That little two-faced prick!"
>You grab the device and storm out of the room.
>The room still remains silent.
>"I say," Rarity huffs. "That brute needs to seek some professional help. Heaven knows what kind of mental trauma he's putting poor Twilight through."

>It's after school, and you're scanning every inch of the premises for a sign of the little bastard.
>By some miracle, you've managed to get the stupid thing working. You think.
>The screen is exactly that of a radar, except this time there's no blip to follow.
>You eventually end up back at the empty cafeteria, half-eaten lunches still sitting on the tables.
>Is it really so hard for people to just clean up after themselves?
>With a heavy sigh, you take a seat and put the gadget down.
>What if the pixie didn't escape after all?
>What if Twilight just did a complete 180 on her own?
>Girls can be unstable like that, right?
>She is crazy, after all.
>But Trash? Really?
>He'd be the worst match for someone like her.
>She deserves way better.
>Not to say that you'd be a better fit, but...
>The door swings open and a girl skips in, humming some sort of tune.
>"Oh, hey, Anon!"
>You look up to see Lily waving at you.
>"Watcha doin'?"
"At this point, I don't even know anymore."
>Lily pouts.
>"Aww, is someone having a bad day?" she says as she walks over and takes a seat next to you.
"What are you doing here?"
>"Well, I was on my way out, but then I heard that Flash was taking Twilight out tonight. Can you believe it? Flash and Twilight? They are waaaay too different to be a good match."
"I know someone who would beg to differ."
>Lily crosses her legs and rests an arm on your shoulder.
>"Well tell them that their opinion is wrong. Anyways, so I was walking out, and my friends were talking about the whole Flash Twilight things because that's what girls do, and then I saw you roaming around campus with this..."
>She picks up the scanner.
>"...little thingamajid. I got curious, so I decided to check it out. What is it?"
"A pixie scanner."
>Lily presses a few buttons. She seems to know how to work it better than you do.
>"Ooooh. Is there a pixie on campus?"
"Yes. Well, no. I don't know. A pixie ended up in our lab, and I put it in a jar, but then it asked for some air holes to breathe--"
>She gasps.
>"Air holes? Are you NUTS?"
"Is that bad?"
>"Duh," Lily says as she blows a raspberry. "Pixies can fit through tiny spaces like that. Didn't you read the 'Universal Guide to Everything Pixie?'"
>You shake your head.
>She puts the device down.
>"Well, if there is a pixie on campus, then you don't need this silly thing to find one."
>Lily hands you a milk carton.
"What am I supposed to do with this?"
>"When I give the signal, use it."
>Use it? How?
>Lily stands up and does a little stretch, outlining her fit form.
>You can't help but think that you'd tap that so hard if she'd let you.
>Too bad she'd never let you...or anyone with a penis for that matter.
>Stupid hormones. And lesbians. And lesbian hormones.
>"Gee," she says out loud. "I'd LOVE to have someone fall in love with me right now."
>And in the next moment, the love pixie appears next to her in a cloud of dust.
>"Did someone say 'love?'"
>"Now, Anon!"
>What?
>Are you supposed to make him drink milk or something?
>You chuck the thing at him, but he dodges it with ease.
>"Now that was rather rude," he huffs. "Why would you dare do someth-- aaaaack!"
>Lily spews a mouthful of milk at the pixie, and he drops like a rock.
>She catches him as he's falling and walks back over to you.
>"Pixies hate getting wet," she says as she wipes some milk off her mouth. "Makes them unable to fly."
>"Ugh! That was absolutely disgusting! You are a very crude little girl!" the little guy says, coughing up bits of milk as he struggles in her grip.
>She sets him down on the table.
"Is it okay to let him go like that?"
>"Not like the thing's going anywhere."
>At this point you probably trust her more than you trust yourself.
"Alright, you little asshole."
>"What language. I-- ow!"
>You flick him in the stomach, and he ends up flat on his back.
>"Ooooh. Anon's mad!" Lily says.
"Turn Twilight back to normal, cupid."
>"Oh, so that was the girl the young man fancied," the pixie says with a cough as he gets back on his feet.
>He's flapping his wings, but they're no use to him now.
"Undo what you did."
>"Oh? but I didn't do anything. I just gave a boy some love powder, and let him use it to find true love."
>You get down so that you're on eye level with him.
"How do I reverse the effects?"
>"Reverse? Why I never..."
>He crosses his arms.
>"I have helped someone find true love! Why would I ever want to break them up?"
"Because first of all, it's not true love. And second of all, you're not the one calling the shots."
>"I still refuse. I'm a pixie of honor."
>Lily holds up another milk carton behind you and opens it slowly, a mischievous grin on her face.
>"I'm already wet, little girl. What's the worst you could do?"
>She swipes his legs so that he's once again on his back.
>Then she places a napkin over his face.
"What are you doing?"
>"Being persuasive."
>She then starts to pour the milk directly onto the napkin.
>Fuck, man. She's water-- milkboarding him.
>He's thrashing around, trying to escape, but it's no use.
>And for a moment, you forget that for the past couple hours you wanted to gut him alive.
>Girls really are crazy.
>Lily lifts up the napkin.
>"Still care about honor?"
>"I'll tell you! Just stop!" he coughs, hands clutching at his throat. "It's cold water! Just soak her in cold water!"
>"Now that wasn't so hard, was it?"
"The fuck's wrong with you?"
>Lily puts her hands on her hips and faces you.
>"Uh, you're welcome? Do you want your friend back or not?"
>You don't respond.
>Alright. Cold water. That should be easy enough.
>Right?

>Wrong.
>Lily pulls up to the restaurant with you in the passenger seat.
>The both of you are wearing formal attire.
"How do I look?" you ask, turning to face her.
>She gently touches the pink mark on your face, and you wince.
>"Geez, Anon. What did you do?"
>Nothing really.
>All you did was sneak up on Twilight with a bucket of ice water in her own home.
>Who knew she had such good reflexes?
>Twi was in a worse state than before, too.
>All she could ever talk about was Flash.
>Flash this, Flash that.
>Twilight and Flash, forever and ever.
>Just thinking about it makes you shudder.
>At least you were able to learn where he was taking her.
>And for now the pixie's out of the picture.
>He's in a jar half-full of water back at the lab.
>No air holes this time. That prick.
>You exit the car, and Lily hands a valet her keys.
>"Ready for a wonderful night together, love?" she says with a surprisingly flawless English accent as she takes your arm.
>You half expect her to ask for a cocktail that is "shaken, not stirred."
"Sure," you reply as you roll your eyes.
>At the front of the restaurant is a sign labeled, "The Swan."
>There's a drawing of a swan next to the sign, probably just in case you didn't get that the restaurant was named after a particular bird.
>A waiter leads you to your seats and hands you a menu.
>"Let me know when you're ready," he says with a fake French accent before leaving.
>"I've always wanted to eat here," Lily says as she looks over the menu. "It's such a romantic setting. Perfect for a classy date. And look at the view."
>You look out the window.
>Lily's right. It is a rather nice view.
>There's a lake, and some swans.
>Gee, wonder why those are there.
>The sun's starting to set over the horizon.
>And your eyes find a person you hate at a table, talking to a person you hate less.
>View ruined.
>You look over the menu.
"Why aren't there any prices listed?"
>"Do you really want to know?"
>Oh.
>It doesn't help that you don't recognize anything on the menu.
>Might as well be written in another language, which it probably is.
"Could we even afford any of this?"
>"I can. Not sure about you, though."
>A waiter comes up to your table and sets down a large bucket filled with ice water.
>"And here's the bucket you requested, ma'am," he says to Lily.
>"It's perfect. Thank you," she replies in her English accent, and he leaves.
"Where'd you learn to do that?"
>Lily takes a sip of water.
>"Do what?"
"The accent?"
>"Oh, you mean like this? Lots of practice, my friend," she says, this time in a French accent.
"You a cross-dimensional spy or something?"
>She puts a hand to her chest and feigns shock.
>"How could you even accuse me of such a thing?" she says like a native German. "Such baseless claims."
>You shrug.
"I'm just saying that you're a little too good at it."
>"Spasibo."
>Spasibo.
>Okay. You're sad now.
>You look at the large bucket.
"I assume that's for me?"
>"For Twilight, actually. But yes."
"It didn't work the first time."
>"As the wise people of Gratua say, 'If at first you don't succeed, then use a larger bucket.'"
"Really?"
>She shrugs.
>"Are you going to get your friend back or have me culturally enrich you for the rest of the evening?"
>To be honest, the latter sounds a bit appealing.
>You forgot how much you liked having Lily around.
"Why did we stop hanging out again?"
>Lily looks down at the table, swirling the water in her glass.
>"I guess that's just a thing that happens."
>Great. Now you're both sad.
>She shakes her head.
>"Now go, silly!"
>You bend over and pick up the bucket.
>The thing's so massive that you have to carry it on your shoulder.
>Bits of water and ice drip down the sides as you head out.
>"Good luck, love!" she shouts in her English accent. "And God save the Queen!"
>People are giving you strange looks as you head outside with the bucket on your shoulder.
>An ice cube lands on someone's plate.
>"Hey!"
"Sorry!"
>You somehow manage to make it outside.
>Now where is Twilight?
>"And then I dunked it right over his head!"
>A girl laughs.
>"That's hilarious!"
>Your eyes narrow as you find the source.
>There she is.
>It's time for her medicine.
>Twilight's wearing a rather girly dress.
>She even had curls done on her hair.
>Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
>You grieve a bit on the inside as you approach your prey.
>All her attention is on Flash.
>There's no way she's going to see you coming.
>There's no way she's going to see him coming, either.
>You shake your head.
>The fuck's wrong with you?
>Maybe Rarity was right.
>Maybe you are jealous. But in a platonic sense.
>Are you two even friends?
>And if not. What are you?
>This isn't the time, Anon.
>Focus.
>You start to increase your pace, but in the process your foot catches something and you start to fall forward.
>Everything seems to be going in slow motion.
>The bucket of ice water flying ahead of you.
>Your arms reaching out in a futile attempt to save it.
>The people watching you go horizontal.
>Just like in the movies.
>And then you fall flat on your stomach, knocking the wind out of you, and everything returns to normal speed.
>Fuck that hurts.
>The ice water spills across the wood floor.
>Some reaches Twilight, but it only manages to get her shoes a little wet.
>"A-anon? What are you doing here?" she says.
>Fuck.
"Fucking hell..."
>You slowly pull yourself up to your feet.
>So much for a bigger bucket.
>Everyone's looking at you now.
>You turn around to see Lily, and she's shaking her head.
>At least she seems to be amused by it all.
>You can't remember a single time when she got upset.
>"What are you doing here, Anon?" Twilight asks.
>She's giving you a wide-eyed look. The kind of look that one would give when at their mental tipping point.
>Water's out of the question.
>Maybe logic can work.
>She is, or was, a rational thinker.
>It's not like you have a choice.
"Twilight, you gotta snap out of it! You're under the influence of the pixie's love powder!"
>She tilts her head to the side with an uncanny grin.
>"Love what?"
>Flash is starting to look a little uneasy.
"Why'd you do it, Flash? Are there not enough fish in the sea for you?"
>"I-I don't know what you're talking about! You're talking nonsense!"
>You turn back to Twilight.
"You're not actually in love with Flash! Deep down you know that! What happened to the Twilight who would never do this sort of thing in a million years? The one who'd puke at the very sight of anything romantic? That's the Twilight I know!"
>Wow, Anon. That was not cheesy in any way.
>"People can change, Anon!" Flash says, getting up from his seat. "You're just jealous because she chose me over you!"
>Really, Trash? That's the road you're going to take?
>"What do you know? Dinner and a show," a customer mumbles to his date.
"Twilight, just..."
>You sigh.
"Let's just go over to your house and talk this out, okay? Take a nice, cold shower to wake yourself up, and then I'll let you do date whoever you want."
>Worth a shot, right?
>"Don't you see, Anon? This was meant to be!" Flash shouts. "It's happened before, and it'll happen again! You can't change fate!"
>And you thought you were the crazy one.
>"It's just like my soap operas," an old lady whispers.
>"Just leave, Anon! You're ruining our n--"
>Twilight gets up and presses a finger against his mouth.
>"Shhhhh, it's okay," she says. "I'll take care of this."
>She then rather forcefully pushes him onto his seat.
>"Don't you dare move. Got it?"
>He nods, clearly frightened by her sudden aggression.
>"Why, Anon? Why would you want to separate us? Can't you see that we're destined to be together? Forever and ever?"
>That love powder is potent stuff.
>Maybe if this fails, you and the pixie can start a thing with cocaine.
>She's walking towards you with determination, and you take a couple steps back.
>Come on, Anon. Be an alpha for once.
>You hold your ground and find yourself face to face with Twilight.
>She's got a look in her crazy eyes, and it's making you rather nervous.
>Her dilated pupils are probably not helping.
"It's j-just...y-you're..."
>"I can't have you prevent me from being with him for the rest of eternity. I've seen our future, and it's absolutely perfect."
"Do you even hear yourself right now? It's nothing but crazy ta--"
>Your sentence is cut short by a rather powerful blow to the stomach.
>You stagger back, and Twilight closes the distance with clenched fists.
"Don't do this, Twi," you say between coughs.
>"I'm not doing anything. You're doing this to yourself."
>And the fact is, you did do this to yourself.
>All because you wanted to be humane for once in your life.
>That sure worked out real well for you, huh?
>She throws another punch straight for your head, but you manage to block it.
>But you are not prepared for the follow-up knee to the gut.
>That sends you onto your back.
>The crowd "oohs."
>You grunt.
>Lily winces.
>Get up, Anon.
>You pull yourself up and clutch your stomach.
"Please, Twi. I don't want to have to do this."
>She's got fire in her eyes. Figuratively speaking.
>"Neither do I. But it must be done."
>Twilight charges you and does a flying kick.
>You instinctively move to the side and she goes past you into a table.
>Bits of food and drinks go flying into the air and come crashing onto the wet, wooden floor.
>She jumps back onto her feet and cracks her neck.
>Yep. That's intimidating.
>Twilight storms over to you and starts to deliver a barrage of kicks and punches from all angles.
>You try to block and dodge, but there's only so much you can do against someone powered by the power of love, er, love powder.
>Again and again she hits you, and you're powerless to stop her barrage.
>Where exactly did she learn to fight?
>A palm strike against your chest sends you crashing onto your back.
>The crowd "oohs."
>"I don't know who to root for!" a middle-aged man says, a cigar in his mouth.
>"I bet you five grand that the boy lasts at most 1 minute more," he associate says to him.
>"Done."
>Looks like the odds aren't in your favor.
>Twilight picks up a cleaver from a table and approaches you.
>You try to crawl back, but she easily catches up to you.
>"This is entirely personal," she says with a wide grin on her face. "But don't take it too personally."
>You hold your hands up to protect yourself, but it's probably no use.
>At least this way you won't have to suffer by seeing Twilight and Flash together.
>But as she brings the knife up, Lily tackles her from the side.
>At this point you've lost count of the number of times you've glimpsed the light at the end of the tunnel.
>Looks like the tunnel likes to give blue balls.
>Lily is the first to get up.
>"That's just fighting dirty, you crazy nut!" she says.
>She holds out a hand towards you, and you grab it.
"Thanks," you say as she pulls you up.
>"You need to learn how to fight. Getting beaten by a girl is a turn off for girls."
"And beating them isn't?"
>"Fair point."
>Twilight gets up, looking even more vicious than before.
>Her dress is torn up a bit.
>"You can't stop this!" she shouts. "It's our destiny!"
>"She really is crazy in the coconut."
"That girl needs therapy."
>"Ooh, I love that song!"
>Twilight sends a flying punch in your direction, but you manage to move out of her range.
>Lily then lands a blow on Twilight's cheek.
>It doesn't seem to be very effective, though, as Twilight easily recovers and shoots her a look full of daggers.
>"Oops. Is someone mad?" Lily taunts.
>Her love-infused opponent then screams and sends a roundhouse kick her way, which Lily ducks.
>The two start engaging in intense combat.
>"Ha! Now this is a fight!" Lily shouts as she blocks another blow. "Come on, Anon! This is your fight!"
>Oh, right.
>You try to find an opening.
>Twilight's back is currently facing you while she's occupied with her other foe.
>That's as good an opening as you'll ever get.
>You send a punch straight towards her, but Twilight grabs your fist without even looking at it.
>Could she do that before she went insane?
>Lily sends a strike, only for it to also be caught in Twi's grasp.
>She then brings her arms together, and you and Lily end up butting heads. Hard.
>And the next thing you know, you're seeing stars while staring at the evening sky.
>At least the weather seems to be fine in heaven.
>You hold your head as you get up on unsteady legs.
>That's definitely going to hurt in the morning, given that Twilight won't be nice enough to cure it for you.
>Lily's down for the count.
>That's probably why she wears the helmet when dimension hopping.
>You remind yourself to ask where she got it.
>Twilight's shoulders are heaving and her hair is undone.
>She's hunched over while giving you a death stare.
>The tunnel's back again.
>You look around for anything that could help.
>The cups won't be enough, since the pixie says that her body has to be soaking wet.
>Ha.
>But there are no other buckets filled with ice water lying around.
>Then a realization comes to you.
>You're outside.
>Next to a fucking lake.
>Is that water even cold enough?
>Might as well find out. It's your only option.
"Hey, lovebird!" you shout at Twi as you casually limp over to the railing. "You may have won this fight, but I'll be back! And when I return, I'll make certain that I separate you from your one true love for all of eternity! And then some!"
>Her eye twitches, and she's baring her teeth like fangs.
>That did it.
>She then charges towards you not unlike a bull.
>You can almost see the steam coming out of her ears and nose.
>There's no way you can dodge this in your current condition.
>This is going to hurt.
>Maybe it's best if you close your eyes.
>Tell me about the rabbits, Twi.
>Her body crashes into yours with her throat closing around your vulnerable neck, and together you tip over the railing into the murky lake water.
>You try not to scream as the shock almost overwhelms you.
>Yes, it's cold!
>But fuck, it's cold.
>You breach the surface with a gasp and look around.
"Twi?"
>Nothing.
>You grab the railing and hop back onto the platform.
>You're absolutely soaking wet from head to toe.
"T-twi?" you shout again towards the lake, your teeth chattering.
>Still nothing.
>You didn't kill her, did you?
>Suddenly, a hand reaches out and grabs the railing directly in front of you.
>You jump back, clutching your arms.
>It's Twilight.
>She's soaking wet and missing a shoe.
>Her wet hair is covering the front of her face.
"Twi?"
>She takes off her other shoe and tosses it to the side.
>It's deathly silent.
"You alright?"
>She walks towards you, and you instinctively curl up, anticipating another series of blows.
>But none comes.
>Instead, Twi just walks past you, not even acknowledging your existence.
>"Twi?"
>She stops directly in front of a very frightened Flash.
>"What did you do?" she says in a low, menacing voice.
>"W-what?"
>She grabs him by the collar and brings her face inches from his.
>"WHAT DID YOU DO, FLASH?"
>Twilight then butts her forehead against his nose and throws him out of the chair.
>The rest of the customers remain silent.
>"I-I don't know what you're talking about, Twilight!" he desperately says as he covers his bleeding nose.
>She picks up a bottle by the handle and smashes the end against a table.
>Wine pours from the jagged opening.
>"SPILL IT, FLASH. YOU HAVE EXACTLY THREE SECONDS BEFORE I SPILL YOU GUTS OVER THIS ENTIRE ESTABLISHMENT."
>Fuck, now you're more scared than ever.
>She's never raised her voice that much before, at least as far as you remember.
>"ONE."
>"Please, don't do this!"
>She brings the pointy end close to his throat.
>"TWO."
>"We're supposed to be t-together forever! R-remember?"
>You step behind her and bring your arms up underneath her shoulders.
>"LET GO."
"It's not entirely his fault!" you say as you start to drag her writhing body back. "I'm also to blame!"
>"What are you talking about?"
"The pixie! He got out!"
>"HE WHAT?"
>She stops resisting, and you let go.
"I..."
>You look down.
"He asked for air holes, and I poked some. Then he got out, and somehow got to Flash. The rest of the story, well..."
>You rub an arm.
"He's back at the lab. No air holes this time..."
>That sounded a lot more pathetic than you imagined it would sound.
"And some water to keep him here, too..."
>She looks at you for what feels like forever.
"I'm sorry. You were right. Again."
>You look over to Lily. She's now sitting on the floor and rubbing her head.
>Twi looks back at Flash.
>He's just looking at her.
>His shirt is starting to turn a rather dark shade of red.
>"Let's go," she says in a dead, cold voice.
>Twilight then exits the restaurant, and you go over to help Lily up.
>"Did we win?" she asks, still a bit dazed.
"Yes and no."
>"Better than just no.
>The two of you leave together, and the rest of the customers look at each other with confused faces.
>A waiter, hoping to save the day, hops in.
>"Well, ladies and gentlemen, we hope you enjoyed tonight's entertainment..."

>After some time, you pull up to Twi's place in Lily's car.
"You gonna be alright, Lily?"
>"Yeah, I can take it from here," she says from the back. "I've gone through worse."
"Thanks for letting us borrow the ride."
>You and Twilight exit and head towards her home.
>She hasn't said anything on the way back.
>The tension is absolutely killing you.
"Twi?"
>There's no reply as she opens her home door and enters.
>You follow her to the hallway, where first entrance is still open.
"Speak to me, Twi. Yell at me. Anything."
>She picks up a crowbar and heads down the stairs.
>Once at the bottom, she jabs it into the gap and manages to open it all by herself.
>You flinch when the door slam open.
>"Welcome, Twilight and Anonymous," Cel says.
>Twilight walks over to the desk where the pixie is.
>"I see you are no longer under the influence of my powder," the love pixie says matter-of-factly from his jar.
>She doesn't reply.
>"Silent treatment, eh?"
>You nod.
>"Then we're both screwed, buddy."
>Maybe you should look into the cocaine business with him after all.
>Twilight starts typing into a computer.
"Speak to me, Twi."
>"You know how it is when a girl is angry at you," the pixie says.
"Quiet."
>You walk over to her and flick off her screen, which in retrospect is a bad idea.
>She stops typing and glares at you.
"Twi, look."
>She jabs a finger at your chest.
>"No, you look here, Anon."
>At least she's talking now.
>"I WARNED you about the pixie being a problem. I warned you, Anon. And you thought that you knew better than me. That not being rid of him would be the better option. And for what? A false sense of moral superiority?"
"Okay, first of all, I did want to get rid of him. But just in a manner where he would live."
>"Oh, and he lived, all right. Lived long enough to cause this entire mess."
>"I'm still alive, you know," the pixie says from his jar.
"It wasn't my intention to let all this happen! Surely you know that!"
>Twilight pinches the bridge of her nose.
>"You don't know anything, Anon. That's the problem with you. Sometimes it's like taking care of a toddler."
"And you let a toddler handle something that he was clueless about? That's bad parenting if you ask me. You can't give a kid a bomb and place all the blame on him when it explodes and kills his entire family."
>She opens her mouth to reply, but closes it.
"If you were so certain that your way was better, then why didn't you just ignore me and shoot him? Huh?"
>"Because."
"Because what?"
>"Because, Anon. I--"
>She places her hands on the table and looks down.
>"Can we not do this right now?"
"Tell me."
>Silence.
"Just say it, Twi," you say in a soft voice. "You value my opinion."
>She sighs.
>"I might not...completely dismiss everything you say."
"Thanks."
>"I'm still mad at you, though."
"I think I've gotten used to it by now."
>She gives you a weak smile.
"So what's gonna happen to cupid here?"
>"Will you let me handle it?"
>The pixie's giving you a pout, but you turn away.
"He's all yours. But I still want to know what you're going to do."
>"Have you heard of the pixie gulags?"
>Before you can reply, you hear a voice from up the stairs.
>"Twilight? You home?"
>Is that...?
>"It's me. Flash. Sorry for breaking into your home, but the door was sorta...open."
>Oh, that's right. You forgot to close it.
>Twilight looks back down on the table.
"You alright?"
>"Give me a moment."
>His footsteps starts to echo down the stairs.
"He's going to find the lab."
>"You should have let me kill him when I had the chance."
>His head peeks into the massive room, a tissue stuffed up a nostril.
>"Hello?"
>He walks in with the same bloodied attire from earlier.
>"What is this place?"
>Twilight walks over to him.
>"What do you want, Flash"
>"Look. I know that maybe it's not my place to ask this. But I need to get it off my chest."
>"Oh, really?" she says as she raises an eyebrow. "Let me guess. You want my forgiveness."
>"Yes. Well, sorta. I was kinda hoping that maybe...we could let bygones be bygones and give me another chance?" he asks with a shrug.
>And for the next couple seconds, it's absolutely quiet in the lab except for the machinery.
>"Another chance?" she asks. "Another CHANCE?"
>"Yeah," he says sheepishly. "You know. We were really hitting it off once you decided to open up to me."
>"You mean poison my mind with pixie dust."
>"Details, but--"
>"Well let me ask you something, Flash Sentry."
>She starts walking forward, and he starts to retreat.
>"You were given a clear choice. Either go on with your boring, meaningless life or try to force me to fall for you. And guess what? You chose WRONG. You chose to poison my brain. My mind. The most important thing I posses in this entire disaster of a universe just so that you could satisfy your own selfish, carnal whims! Is that sort of person worth another chance?"
>"Slow down, Twi. I didn't--"
>"Don't 'Twi' me, you dirt-eating, pixie-kissing, brain-dead devolved ape! You are in no position to ask anything of me! Not now! Not ever!"
>He's back at the hallway entrance now.
>You're cowering where you're standing.
>"Why did he like her again?" the love pixie asks.
"I don't know," you whisper.
>"So if you would kindly escort yourself out of my own home and avoid me for the rest of your pathetic life, then I might consider not throwing you into a shark tank while you're sleeping."
>Flash starts to walk back into the lab.
>"Twilight, I'm--"
>But he doesn't get to finish his sentence, because the door suddenly slams shut directly on him.
"What the fuck?"
>His head and a hand drop to the floor, completely detached from his body.
>Twilight jumps a bit at the door closing, but then calmly surveys the growing pool of blood.
>Your heart is starting to race.
"What did you do, Twi?"
>"Me? I didn't do this. You think I'd kill someone in such a messy manner? In my own sanctuary?"
>Oh geez. This can't be real.
>Flash can't really be dead.
>This has to be dream.
>The patter of small feet suddenly meets your ears, and you turn to see a small dog run to up Twilight.
>It drops a couple wires at her feet.
>"Oh, there you are. I've been wondering when you'd show up."
"What is that?"
>"This is Spike."
>Wait.
"You have a DOG?"
>Twilight bends over and scratches him behind his ears.
>"Of all the things to be surprised by, you sure made an odd choice. Dogs are a popular pet."
"But what about Flash?"
>"What about him? He's dead now."
>You gesture frantically at the head.
"What do we do, Twi? We have a body! I don't wanna go to jail!"
>Twilight picks up a wire and inspects it.
>"Well that explains why the doors are malfunctioning. Spike, I told you that I'd take you to the vet if you kept this up."
>Spike barks happily and wags his tail.
"Are you even paying attention? We have a corpse on our hands, Twi! I'm freaking out!"
>Twilight sighs.
>"How long do you think until they suspect something?"
"Twi!"
>"Fine, fine. I can fix this...sort of."
>She walks over and grabs a large set of pincers.
>Twilight then picks up his head with the tool and moves it to a table.
>"Open the door, will you?"
>This is bad.
>This is really bad.
>You pick up the crowbar and try to get the door to open again, careful not to slip on all the blood.
>The door eventually gives way.
"What now?"
>"Move is body over to that pod over there."
>You cautiously grab his body and hand and drag him over to where she pointed, a trail of blood smearing on the floor.
>Then you carefully pick the parts up and set them on the horizontal pod.
"And?"
>She carries over his head and callously drops it on top of the neck.
>Then she take a pointy wire and jams it through his skull.
>"I can reattach the head and hand and restart the heart. It won't be considered a murder if he's not dead."
"But what about his brain?"
>She turns to you.
>"What about it?"
"Won't it, I don't know, be damaged from lack of oxygen?"
>"There'll be some damage. But what can you do about it?"
"You're joking, right?"
>"Anon, look. I'm not some sort of miracle worker, okay? There's only so much I can do."
"Isn't there a better option?"
>Twilight rubs a finger against her chin.
>"I could make a flash clone of his brain. Get it? Because..."
>You only stare at her.
>She sighs.
>"I'm unappreciated in my own time."
"Well, what do we do?"
>"Anon. Relax. I have this all under control. Take deep breaths. You don't have to worry about dropping the soap."
"Relax? Someone's DEAD and you want me to RELAX?"
>Twilight turns and faces you.
>"Do you trust me or not?"
>You look at her, then back at the body.
"I want to say yes."
>"Then say it."
>You take a deep breath.
"Okay, Twilight. Do your thing."
>"Thank you."
>You then stand back and watch as Twilight takes out a bunch of tools and gets to work on the person you used to hate.
>And for once in your life, you hope that things work out okay for Trash.
"Will he at least know his name?"
>"Don't think about it. In fact, maybe it's best if you don't think at all for now."
>Maybe you should take her advice.