BallsOfFluff

The Lake: Part VIII

Mar 30th, 2012
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  1. >Morning of day six.
  2. >You expect a fecal holocaust when you step into the bathroom.
  3. >You're surprised to see a pristine bathtub.
  4. >And four panicking fluffies.
  5. >”Hewp! Hewp! We wan' go make poopies!” the unicorn says.
  6. >”But we don' wan' make bad poopies! No take fwiends! We wan' make good poopies so hooman no take fwiends anymo'!” the blue earth fluffy adds.
  7. >How cute.
  8. >They scamper around in the tub with their fluffy cheeks clenched, crying.
  9. “I'll help you make good poopies.”
  10. >They blurt out various iterations of 'I wuv you!' and 'fank you'.
  11. >You grab two fluffies under each arm and start walking toward the front door.
  12. >Holy shit, it's pouring rain.
  13. >You set them down in your living room, with very specific instructions to not touch anything.
  14. >This won't be a problem; all their brainpower is currently devoted to fighting the internal tsunami of crap.
  15. >You go into the garage.
  16. >The crate is upside down in there, in a corner.
  17. >This will do. It'll be a hell of a lot easier to wash the concrete than your carpet.
  18. >You return for the fluffies.
  19. >They mewl for help with fearful eyes, every muscle in their fluffy bodies clenched and trembling.
  20. “Come on, we're going to the poopie place.”
  21. >They waddle after you at top speed, bouncing and babbling.
  22. >Their gait is hilarious, skewed by tight fluffy sphincters.
  23. >They stick very close to you, not noticing the crate.
  24. >You tilt it up and push them under it.
  25. >The second you drop it, they panic.
  26. >”Why dawk! Wet out! Wet out!”
  27. “Make poopies first.”
  28. >”But it dawk! Fwuffy sowwy! Wet out!”
  29. >You ignore them and wait. It suddenly gets very quiet.
  30. >And then it gets really, really funky.
  31. >You tilt up the crate again and they all shoot out and huddle in the corner.
  32. >They're clean.
  33. >missionaccomplished.flv
  34. >They're also terrified.
  35. >”Fwuffy make bad poopies! Fwuffy make bad poopies!” they wail.
  36. >They scream with terror as you approach, their tiny hooves scraping at the drywall in a desperate bid to escape.
  37. “Good fluffies.”
  38. >They become motionless and look up at you with confusion.
  39. “Fluffies make good poopies. Don't be afraid.”
  40. >God, you're even talking like them now.
  41. >”Good...poopies?” the unicorn blinks.
  42. “Yes. Good poopies.”
  43. >It's like the weight of the entire world has been lifted from their fluffy shoulders.
  44. >They mill around your feet, babbling 'pway now?' and giggling.
  45. >You head back in, the fluffy herd following closely.
  46. >It's back in the tub while you get ready.
  47. >”Hung'y! Wan' sgettis! Pwease foodies?” they cry.
  48. “We're going to spaghetti land today.”
  49. >You wonder just how close they came to pissing themselves with glee.
  50. >They run around and over each other, babbling happily about spaghetti.
  51. >Since there are just four, you feel confident enough to take them in your car.
  52. >You still don't feed them, though.
  53. >You'd like your Panamera to complete the journey clean and shit-free.
  54. >You pluck them from the tub, in pairs so they don't freak out, and walk to the door.
  55. >Once outside, they mill closely around your legs.
  56. >They look like ducklings following their mom.
  57. >Fluffy, dumb-ass ducklings.
  58. >You all pile into the car.
  59. >They decide to hang out in the back with each other, which is fine.
  60. >As you drive, they babble about 'vwoom' and 'pway aiwpwane!' and look out the window.
  61. >The two earth fluffies are constantly hugging.
  62. >Thinking back to yesterday, you wonder if they might be siblings or something.
  63. >After a while, you pull in to the shelter's parking lot and walk in.
  64. >The fluffies follow you, crying nervously about the rain.
  65. >”Hey, it's you!” the woman waves. She looks down at the herd around your ankles and smiles.
  66. “Got some more strays.”
  67. >”I see that,” she giggles.
  68. >She takes each one to the back separately.
  69. >The ones left at your feet cry as their numbers dwindle.
  70. >Soon, the silver unicorn is the only one.
  71. >”Where fwiends? Wan' fwiends!” she calls, toddling about on the floor.
  72. >She squeaks when the woman picks her up.
  73. >”I'm taking you to your friends right now,” she reassures.
  74. >She carries the unicorn, using her back to open the door.
  75. >The fluffy waves her forelegs frantically. “Wha? Why you no come wif fwuffy!?”
  76. >The door shuts as she yells.
  77. >Sigh...
  78. >You walk back outside and get in your car.
  79. >The back windows have all manner of fluffy face and hoofprints.
  80. >You drive off.
  81. >The four fluffy ponies are now zero.
  82. >You drive home, frowning all the way.
  83.  
  84. >You had to air out the garage once you got back.
  85. >Then you had to spray the shit off the concrete.
  86. >That took an hour.
  87. >You wonder what to do with that crate. Probably could use it for storage, or something.
  88. >It's still pouring rain.
  89. >You grab your umbrella and walk out onto the deck.
  90. >You look at the empty island.
  91. >You sigh, but then you smile.
  92. >You walk back inside and look down on the kitchen floor.
  93. >”Why go out in sky wawa?”
  94. >The zero fluffy ponies are not zero after all.
  95. “Just looking at something.”
  96. >The orange earth fluffy looks utterly confused. “Wook fo' wha?”
  97. >You smirk and just pat her on the head.
  98. >You start making lunch, which now includes spaghetti.
  99. >She runs around, chasing a rubber ball and giggling wildly.
  100. >You can't help but smile.
  101. >Suddenly, she stands still and begins to shake.
  102. “Hey, Pumpkin!”
  103. >She looks at you fearfully.
  104. “Don't you dare shit on my carpet.”
  105. >”...sowwy, I be good Pum'kin,” she mewls, toddling over to her litter box.
  106. “Good girl.”
  107. >”I make good poopies?” she asks, once she's done.
  108. “Yes you did, Pumpkin. You made good poopies.”
  109. >”Yay!” she squeals, toddling over to hug your shin.
  110. “Yay, indeed.”
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