Wolf Boy/Girl Roommate Drags Your Neko-Ass to Bed

The relationship between you + the listener is playful banter, lighthearted, with you being more of the sender rather than the receiver. Both the speaker and listener are tsundere in nature, but the listener is more passive than the speaker.
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Hiya, squirt. [listener responds very aggressively]

 Woah, what crawled up your ass and died? Rough day, huh?

 You failed a test? Well, what did you get on it?

Hey, that's not that bad, you said there would be a massive curve on it, right?

 That... was with the curve... Oof, that's rough, dude. I'm sorry to hear that. Well, how's that pet project you were working on going? You told me that some make-or-break files were finishing up soon.

 [listener explains it frustratingly without thinking about how to 'translate' what they work on into casual language// slightly frustrated] Uh, I understood *none* of those words. [pause, listener thinks of how to explain it// incredulous, hopeful] Surely it didn't invalidate *all* of your work... Right?

[Trying to think of something positive to cheer up listener] God, that sucks... Well... Hey! You have that date with that cute girl tonight; you seemed pretty excited to meet up with her.

[angrily] She *what*? Gimme, I need to see what this little shitmuffin wrote. [reading texts, pause]

Wow, she sure seems like a prissy little bitch, huh? Well, you don't need *that* in your life. Can't believe there are people who are still speci-est in this day and age [is there a short way to say 'hates animal-human hybrids'?]. [still high + mighty]

By the way, I think your ears look *adorable*. [gets lost in fantasy] And your tail is *super* fluffy; not as fluffy as mine, but... Damn, boy...

[snaps out of fantasy; remembers that listener is having a *really* shitty day; trying to think of something to cheer them up]

Anyway, uhm... You-- It sounds like you really have had the stuffing beaten out of you today, huh? Like everything's gone to hell in a handbasket... Well, I can't fix what's happened, but maybe I can make your day a little better with some cuddles. Come on, [pats bed] come lay down with me.

 Yes, I'm serious! [slightly exasperated; pats bed more aggressively] *Come* Onn~nnn... [sing-song] I kn~ow yo~u wa~nt too~oo. [the listener is still protesting; peaking frustration/exasperation]

Nope, I'm not having it. You have had a shitty day, I am not going to let you have a shitty night, too. Now, get your furry ass over here. [still frustrated, but also jokingly/teasing] ~Good boy~.

Yes, I did just call you a good boy. [smug] What're you going to do about it, hmm?

Yea, exactly. You're going to snuggle [with force, as if pulling the listener tight against your chest as they reluctantly lay ~15cm/6in away from you] *against* me, and enjoy it. [listener complaining still; calmly + soothingly]

Shh, shh... We are going to cuddle and no amount of wriggling or struggling is going to change that. [listener still struggling; frustrated]

 Seriously, I am *so* much stronger than you, why do you think you can break out? [mouth goes faster than brain; said something kind of mean] Gosh, are you this stubborn with everyone that matches with you? Maybe that's why you can't get a date.

Okay, I'm sorry, that was really *really* mean. But like, come on. I *know* you're enjoying yourself. [mock surprise w/ smugness]

 Oh? You aren't? That must be why your tail is curling so coyly around mine~ [emphasis on each word, listener's secret just got revealed and they're trying to hide their face] Awh, *I* *know*! *So* *embarrassing*! How could I possibly have noticed that your apparent apathy is merely a cover for a meek, timid heart?  Speaking of, your heart's beating even faster, now.

[smug + aww] Oh, you are getting shyer by the second, aren't you? Oh, if you act like this on dates ladies must just *fawn* over you, huh? That girl who canceled on you is *totally* missing out. If she saw you like this, I *know* she'd fall *so* in love with you; [a bit quieter/wistful; "saying the quiet part out loud"] I know I have. [trying to cover for a slip-of-the-tongue; cheeky]

Did I say, love? [trying to maintain confidence] Slip of the tongue. [pause] Why do *you* care? You're the one insisting that I'm "torturing" you with affection.

[listener tries to backpedal not wanting the cuddles to end] Oh, it's not *that* bad? Aw, that's wonderful to hear; I'm glad your resistance is finally waning. Are you ready to admit that you'd enjoy some headpats, too? [pets listener somewhat mockingly/somewhat lovingly] [laughs]

Ah, not *quite* ready yet. Such an adorable hiss. [UwU voice] Awwhhh, Is kitty a wittwe upswet? *gasp* He *is*! *tsk tsk* [slowly] What. a. shame! [pull listener's face into your chest; calmly]

Okay, shush. I got it. Shh, shh. [1-3 second pause] *sigh* Enough of this charade, will you? You're not fooling anyone; honestly, I don't think you're even *fooling yourself* at this point. [pause; listener starts headbutting you for pets]

 I'm guessing you'd like some pets now? Or are you just headbutting me for funsies? [genuinely loving, w/o the previous sarcasm] Good boy. [petting listener, improv some reassuring/comforting words]

Yes, I meant what I said earlier; I love you *so* much, dude. You're super sweet, super caring; probably a bit *too* caring to be honest, but that's what makes you *you*, you know? I know you try to act uncaring and aloof so you don't get hurt; but like, I know that getting canceled on stings way more than you want to admit. Probably not helping that I'm dumping my emotional baggage on you, either...

[sudden change in mood; frustrated, surprised] Are you seriously just now realizing I've been flirting with you? [light to heavy frustration]

Oh, not for long, only just since you moved in.

Yes! Are you *that* *dense*? [/frustration; realization that listener is fairly pure-hearted and not wanting to mistake nothing for something + ruin friendship/make things awkward]

Oh, bless your heart, you really thought I'd tease you so much if I *didn't* have feelings for you?

Oh, no, I'd still sarcastically call you a "good boy" just to piss you off even if I didn't; that shit's funny as hell. But, like, I wouldn't be so touchy-feely along with it; hate girls that give mixed signals like that.

So, uhm, I'm guessing that you feel the same way? [listener stays silent, starts blushing]

 I think you ~do~. Okay, then, ask me. [listener says, ask what?]

 Ask me to be your girlfriend!

 Yes, you have to.

 Why? Well, mainly 'cause I want to see if I can embarrass you so much your head explodes. ["aww" feelings]

Come on! I believe in you! ~you can do it~. [listener stutters out something approximating 'will you be my girlfriend']

Aww, of course, I'll be your girlfriend; only if you'll be my boyfriend, though! See? Told you cuddles would be a good idea. [pets listener some more].

Hmm? Oh, no; you *don't* get to pet my ears, too. Or my tail. I spend too much time preening for you to mess them up. ['eye-roll']

Oh, don't give me those kitten eyes; the answer's no. [listener is insistant/pleading]

*sigh* Fine, then. [flatly/smugly] How about you be assertive for once and demand it.

 Yes, I'm serious. [laughs] Oh, that's "easy"? Go on then. Do it.

 Ah-ah, eye contact. Gotta look me in the eyes when you do it. [pause, effectively stare down listener; listener gets too nervous and breaks eye contact] [laughing mixed with awws]

 Hahahaawww, it's not so easy, huh? It's okay, you can always try again tomorrow. Now, come on, get comfy; we got a long night of cuddles ahead of us~.