zan

Week 00 - Introduction
A Message From Zan
Hello and welcome!
You found your way into the secret treasure room of the Way of the
Amorati – Fundamentals. I want to welcome you here!
This program is, first and foremost, a commitment to change.
The courage to commit and to stand apart from the world for 45 days is
part of the experience. And it is this level of commitment that will help to
create a lasting and life long change in the way you move through this
world.
So start with a beginner’s mind. Leave all your assumptions at the door, and
know this: we are all in this together, and you are safe in this group. You
may not get a sense of this now, but you will come to understand this as
we journey together.
Because this is the greatest thing we offer you: at completion of the
program, you will be invited into the ranks of the Amorati!
The Amorati is our international private group of men from around the
world who are profoundly committed to constant excellence with women
and in their lives. When I am asked, “Who are the Amorati?”, my answer is
always, “The Amorati are the world’s greatest lovers!”
So let’s get this voyage underway and introduce yourself to your fellow
students. Who are you? What are you passionate about? What do you
expect from this journey? Write it all up on your profile.
Oh, and one thing you must not tell us in your introduction… do not tell us
what you do for a living. It is not to be mentioned ever. Well, at least until
the 45 day program is finished. Why? Well, this is also part of the learning:
how do we tell about ourselves if we can’t describe the things we have
been trying to do as a career all our lives?
Yes, this is an excellent way to begin our journey together! We only have
each other to rely on during this voyage.
To your success, gentlemen. It is an honor to sail with you…
~ Zan Perrion
A Message From Hans
Welcome to the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals!
We know you have a lot of questions. We will address only a few of them
right now.
This program is meant to unfold, so you can look at the lessons with fresh
eyes and experience these 45 days with the curiosity of a new born child.
Let go of everything you think you know and trust the process you have
embarked on.
First of all, take the time to congratulate yourself.
You have taken the first and most important step towards more excellence
in your life and your relationships with women. You entering the Ars
Amorata Academy means you have committed to change, and it is a hugely
important step.
You can be proud of yourself, and as long as you are committed to more
excellence, you can forgive yourself all of your ‘mistakes’.
Also, throughout these 45 days, and for the rest of your life we will be
checking in with you and your commitment to more excellence, and for as
long as you are committed, we will be here for you. The Amorati will be
here for you. Every single step of your exciting journey.
From this day forward, and for as long as you are committed, you will be
connected to a network of men who are on the same journey as you are.
When it comes to your learning, it is the most powerful feature of this
program and of everything we are trying to create in this world.
Here is little bit more info and guidance to the Way of the Amorati –
Fundamentals.
The most important point for your learning, is to realize from the outset
that this program has very little to do with classic teaching, or the transfer
of information from ‘teacher’ to ‘student’. You will learn a lot from this
course, but the Way of the Amorati is first and foremost a wake-up call. A
wake-up call to live a life of excellence, and a code of conduct on your
journey towards your own authentic approach to meeting women, dating,
relating, to love, to seduction.
We will show you what is possible … but it will be up to YOU to choose a
life of excellence. Your actions will show if you really want that change, or
if you just say you do. Only by doing your missions and applying the Way of
the Amorati – Fundamentals to your daily life, will you ‘get’ the full depth of
the message. Those experiences will teach you everything you want to
know.
As such, the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals is meant as an experience;
an experience we are creating with you, an experience that you are
creating with us. Your contribution is as vital as ours for your learning and
for the success of this experience.
Now, having stressed the importance of experience, the importance of
learning by doing, there is a place for sharing, a place for conversation. In
fact, once you have become a man of action, then having a conversation
with people on the same path is the only real urgency.
The core of the Way of the Amorati is to create a space where we can have
a conversation… a space where people can express themselves
authentically and share their thoughts with people on the same journey.
Here is how we safeguard that conversation:
1. Everyone here has committed to change. Everyone has committed to
more excellence in their life and their relationships with women. Everyone
has committed to start designing their life. In that commitment, there is no
room for ‘problems that need solving.’ The Ars Amorata will never ‘solve’
whatever problem you may think you have. You are already creative,
resourceful and whole. We will show you a different path, and for as long
you are on that path, we will be here for you.
2. Your authentic self is your attractive self. This journey is one towards
your authentic self, finding ways to maximize your attractive traits by
finding better ways to express your authentic self. This journey is one
toward finding your own authentic approach to seduction, to love, to life.
3. There will be no room for your old story. There is no need to resolve your
past. Instead, shake hands with it and make a choice to move on.
4. We have no time for small questions – like ‘How can I get her phone
number?’ or ‘There is this one girl…’. The small issues could be interesting
as long as they touch upon bigger issues, but yes, there are bigger issues at
stake. There are larger questions to be asked.
So what do you want to focus on? What are the questions you will be
asking? We have made a choice to focus on larger issues: What is the
nature of chemistry? What is intimacy? How can I be a man of integrity?
What is my authenticity? How can I be the most dynamic man I can
possibly be?
Tying a couple of threads together, we want to stress the importance of
ACCOUNTABILITY during this program – you will get out of this program
what you put in. We offer you both the best toolbox we can think of to help
you maximize your attractive traits AND an elaborate network of men you
can rely on, men that are dealing with similar issues as you and are also on
a journey towards more excellence.
Having the toolbox and the network at your disposal, it will entirely
depend on YOU how much you will get out of this program, how much you
will learn. Do your missions, apply the Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals
in your daily life, and contribute to the conversation here… the more you
invest, the more you will get back.
We also know that not everybody will have the discipline to see this
program to the end to become one of the Amorati, let alone continue this
journey towards more excellence, authenticity and integrity. We are not
here to babysit you. We are here to walk next to you for as long you choose
to be on this journey.
The Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals is in a way also a 45 day
application process to become one of the Amorati.
In more practical terms, it is important to remember that you will benefit a
lot more from coming on the platform daily for a couple of minutes to
read/discuss/think about the post of that day – and to apply it in your daily
life. You will benefit a lot more from that than doing several posts at once.
Think of the ‘lessons’ as tools to help you set the intention for your day.
So leave everything you think you know at the door, trust the process, and
SHOW UP! Suspend judgement, choose your higher self, trust the process
and act anyway.
Onwards, gentlemen!
A Quick Guide To This Course
This program is designed to be paced, 6 themes for 6 weeks, with 4 main
entries per theme.
We suggest you start with theme 1 this coming Monday, and study one
theme per week.
There is nothing to stop you from going at a faster pace, of course, but the
best way to lock in the learning is to sit in the questions day by day, and to
explore the themes from week to week. We have discovered that this is the
optimal time and path through this program.
The general structure of this program is:
– Each theme is explored for an entire week
– Each theme contains 4 main entries (plus reminders and bonuses) that
build upon the theme of the week
– There are 6 themes with 3 days of introduction and debriefing, for 45
days total
The weeks will unfold in the following manner:
Monday: Words of Wisdom – an introduction to the week’s theme
Tuesday: Further Exploration of the theme
Wednesday: A mission for you to complete during the remainder of the
week
Thursday, Friday, Saturday: reminders
Sunday: Debrief and discussion to lock in the learning
In addition, there is full discussion and interaction throughout. Every entry
can be discussed directly, and even the themes themselves can be
discussed on a overall level.
Also, you will find many bonus items, even bonus themes, to explore the
Way of the Amorati – Fundamentals in even more depth.
So jump in, discuss, share, do your missions, and give us feedback about
your experiences. It is in the sharing and debriefing that the greatest
learning and understanding is achieved!
The Amorati
Upon successful completion of this 45 day program and all of its missions,
you will be eligible to join the ranks of the Amorati.
Who are the Amorati?
Ars Amorata is the art of love, and the Amorati are the world’s greatest
lovers!
The Amorati is a close-knit fraternity of men from all over the world who
have devoted their lives to the philosophy of the Ars Amorata.
This is a brotherhood of men who “get it”, who have moved away from
manipulation and playing games, men who are ready for true and authentic
relationships with women.
The Amorati are men who have chosen to move through the world in a
different way than most. They are men who pause, who celebrate women,
who choose to design their life instead of reacting, and who move through
life deliberately, with purpose, strength, with true ease and delight.
The Amorati are lovers of women. The Amorati are lovers of life. The
Amorati are treasure hunters and raconteurs. The Amorati are on a lifelong
quest for beauty and adventure. The Amorati believe in the rebirth of
romance. The Amorati are men who love women and who are loved by
women.
We have members of the Amorati all over the world: Brussels, London, Oslo,
New York, Montreal, Toronto, Austin, Las Vegas, Monterrey, Tokyo, Bucharest…
to name just a few.
Work hard to finish this program, and we will be honored to welcome you
into the ranks of the Amorati, to stand shoulder to shoulder with you as a
brother on this earth! For life!
Your Main Mission: The Amorati Ritual
Your first mission is the most important one of the entire program, and it is
something that you must take care to do every single day throughout the
45 days.
It is called the Amorati Ritual.
This ritual is critically important to your success. It is what all Amorati do,
and it is what keeps us moving toward lives of excellence. As such, it is
imperative that your commitment is to make it the highest priority of every
single day.
It is not hard to do, and it doesn’t take much time. Here is the Amorati
Ritual:
1) Find a moment where you can sit down in a quiet place with a piece of
paper and write out the things you want for your life. This can be anything
that has real meaning to you. In other words, pause and consider how you
want your life to look, and write down the essence of that vision.
2) Every morning when you awake, take time to be still. Even five minutes
is better than nothing. No matter how busy your day might be, sit quietly
and consider your life. Ask “Who am I today?” Ask “What do I want my life to
look like?” Sit quietly with your list. If anything needs to change or adjust
on your list from day to day, then feel free to change it. After all it is your
list, and so it needs to be relevant for you.
3) Sit and quietly consider the things on your list. Repeat this quiet time
every day as the last thing you do for the day.
4) And now this is the most important part. Visualize it as if it was true
today! As you read each item on your list, close your eyes and try to
imagine how you would feel if the thing on your list was already true today.
How would you feel?
Try to actually inhabit that emotion, like it was true today, and you knew it.
As you sit with your eyes closed, try to experience the same sense of
euphoria or peace that you would have if you knew it was already true. It is
important to envision it with as much intensity and as vividly as you can. In
other words, imagine all the little details. Smell the smells, feel it in your
hands, etc.
For instance, if one of the items on your list is to write a book, imagine how
you would feel if you saw the book on the shelf of a bookstore today.
Imagine how it would feel picking it up, opening it up, smelling the pages,
everything. Imagine watching the people walk by and looking at your book.
Imagine your secret joy of standing and watching and “willing” those
people to stop and pick up your book. Imagine everything in as much detail
as you possibly can. And really feel those emotions.
This step of imagining each thing on your list as if it was real today might
seem time consuming, but it can be as short as a minute or two for each
item. As long as you get the sense of emotions that you would have if you
knew it was already absolutely true today.
5) Then all day long, think about your list as often as you can. If something
bad happens, simply “recover” to the knowledge that, no matter what, you
have your list.
6) Never think about how the things on your list will become true for your
life. In other words, do not ever consider “how”. “How” does not matter at all,
because “how” will take care of itself.
7) This process is yours and yours alone. So never tell anyone, no matter
how close to you, what you are doing. This is really important. Never tell
anyone that you have a list, or the things that are on your list. This is yours
alone! The only people that will know that you even are doing this daily
practice are your brothers here. And even then, keep the details of your list
for only yourself.
That is it. It sounds way more complicated than it actually is. It could be
simply summarized as: write down what you want, imagine the things you
wrote as if they were absolutely true today, and how that would make you
feel, do this morning and night, think about it all day long, and don’t tell
anyone what you are doing. Simple, really.
Remember, this is not a to-do list. It is not a list of items that you expect or
need to check off during the 45 days. It is simply a list of the essence of the
things you want for your life.
And also remember, you can’t do this wrong. If there is something you
desire for your life, write it down. Your list will always be changing.
It is a tool to make you pause… and a tool to put your mind into a receptive
state for all the opportunities that come your way.
Oh, and another thing, don’t think it is enough to just do a list in your head.
And do not do it on a computer. The act of physically writing it down and
keeping that paper close to you is very important. There is something very
mindful and visceral in the act of creating the words with your hands.
The Amorati Ritual is your first mission as a practitioner of the arcane art
called the Ars Amorata.


Week 2 - Curiosity
Day 8 - Words of Wisdom
“Love is three quarters curiosity.” ~ Casanova
Are you curious about your life or are you judging it?
Are you in awe for the mystery of this magical world, or are you trying to figure things out?
Are you desperately looking for an answer to your questions, a quick fix, the next tip… or are you
enjoying raising the issue and sharing it with others?
Do you think you are not progressing fast enough, or do you realize you are exactly where you need
to be – sitting in the question?
Are you passionate about your learning and about relationships, or are you trying to take care of it
once and for all?
Are you strategizing how to get past the walls of the women you meet, or are you sharing your
curiosity and passion with her, enjoying the interaction itself?
Are you listening to her in an attempt to get a step closer to what you want, or because you want to
know who this woman right in front of you really is?
Are you trying to take, to share or are you trying to give?
Are you judging the people close to you… or do you still have the willingness to listen and
‘understand’ them?
How ready are you right now to change your opinion about them?
Are you rigidly steering your children in a direction you foresee, or are you curious about their
path, being there for them every step of the way?
Are you allowing others to continue to be judgmental about you, or are you taking steps to surround
yourself with curious people, people who are willing to understand you?
Are you giving your light where it is not invited or are you saving it for people who want to listen to
what you have to say?
Have you labelled this text by now – filing it under ‘like’, ‘dislike’, ‘boring’, … – or can you allow it
to raise new questions you can share with others?
Our theme for this week is curiosity.
Curiosity is one of the most important things that you can develop in your life. In fact, intelligence
is curiosity. That’s all it is. If you are curious, you are automatically intelligent.
And curiosity is seductive to women.
Usually when a man meets a woman he likes, he thinks – mistakenly – that in order to attract that
woman he must impress her. So he begins to brag desperately, trying to tell her as quickly as he can
everything he believes she might find interesting about him. He talks non-stop, he tries to be funny,
he tries to impress her, and quickly overwhelms her with a pile of unremarkable personal
information.
This week we are going to concentrate on changing that completely. We are going to be curious
about her.
Day 9 - Further Explanation
“Go around asking a lot of damfool questions and taking chances. Only through curiosity can we
discover opportunities, and only by gambling can we take advantage of them.” – Clarence Birdseye
Curiosity is not just something to help you approach a girl. It is the essential ingredient for every
dynamic interaction in life. It allows you to approach the women in the world with ease and delight,
to have meaningful and fun dates, and to keep your relationships interesting and alive.
And when we talk about curiosity, we are talking about genuine curiosity. It is caring about who she
is and curious about what she loves.
Sometimes reporters will ask: “What is the difference between a Pickup Artist and a Romance
Artist?”
Well, the answer is this: curiosity… curiosity and empathy. In other words, the Pickup Artist is out
to win, to conquer, to take… the Romance Artist is only out to maximize the experiences of himself
and everyone around him. In other words, to share, to give.
Pickup Artists are trying to impress… Romance Artists are trying to connect.
Start to learn to be genuinely interested in her, and in men and women in general… and she will
open up to you like you have never seen.
Be puzzled, amazed and enchanted by this incredible person sharing your life, by how we connect,
by attraction and love. She thinks about these things all the time, and there are no men who she can
talk about it with. Be that man!
So here’s a practical 3-step process:
1) Encounter a woman
2) Become curious about her (again)
3) Blurt what you are curious about
Day 10 - Your Mission
Your mission this week is to immerse yourself fully in the concept of curiosity.
Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you. Be curious about what your doubts
and fears – don’t judge them. Just be curious. Be curious about how your body reacts when you are
nervous. Be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit that kind of thinking.
Build on what you learned in the previous week. Remember to just become aware of your doubts
and fears, remember also that you have the blood of champions. This week we add curiosity.
So when you encounter a woman in your life:
1. Become aware of your doubts and fears
2. Remember that you have the blood of champions
Add curiosity…
3. Become curious about her and the situation
4. Blurt what you are curious about
What is really important is for you to act anyway – in spite of your old story, in spite of your doubts
and fear. What is really important is you approach anyway. What is really important is for you to
talk to her anyway. What is important is that you speak your truth anyway. With curiosity and
empathy.
To go and talk to her is a decision to make. You only need to focus on having an interaction. No
matter how that interaction goes. The interactions themselves will teach you all you need to know.
So here’s the mission:
Speak your curiosity to 10 women.
Approach women with your curiosity.
Speak your curiosity to the woman you are on a date with.
Explore your curiosity for the women in your life.
Find AT LEAST 10 instances. If you can do more, even better.
In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about everything. Get curious about
her and the situation, use whatever tools we gave you, and blurt whatever you got curious about.
Say: “I’m curious about…” Then pick something – anything! What you say after that does not
matter at all.
“I’m curious about those shoes…”
“I’m curious about why I am drawn to you…”
“I’m curious about why you look so happy…”
“I’m curious about why men are afraid to talk to girls like you…”
“I’m curious about why you came on a date with me…”
“I’m curious about why you decided to marry me. How am I different than other men? Are you
happy?”
Day 11 - Reminder
Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you.
Be curious about what your doubts and fears – don’t judge them. Just be curious.
Be curious about how your body reacts when you are nervous.
Be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit that kind of thinking.
Day 12 - Reminder
1. Become aware of your doubts and fears
2. Remember that you have the blood of champions
3. Become curious about her and the situation
4. Blurt what you are curious about: “I am curious…”
Do this at least 10 times until the end of the week.
Day 13 - Reminder
Speak your curiosity to 10 women.
Approaching, dating, in your relationships.
In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about everything. Get curious about
her and the situation, use whatever tools we gave you, and blurt whatever you got curious about.
Say: “I’m curious about…” Then pick something – anything!
Day 14 - Debrief And Food For Thought
Curiosity will help you fulfill your duty as a man.
Curiosity will be your number one tool to act anyway and to approach a woman you feel drawn to.
Curiosity will also be your number one tool when you are dating that woman, and when you are in a
long-term relationship with her.
The fantastic thing is that you will become good at what you are curious about. If you are really
curious about computers, you will become good at them. If you are really curious about women,
you will be good with women.
And curiosity is attractive to women. If you are curious, if you are interested, you are automatically
interesting to her. If you are interested in her, you are interesting and seductive to her. You do not
have to have something interesting to say – you have to know how to ask the right questions.
So CHOOSE CURIOSITY and curiosity will breed curiosity. Worlds will open up to you …
In practical terms, when moving in the land of women it looks like this:
1) You encounter a woman
2) You become curious about her
3) You blurt what you are curious about, starting with “I am curious …”
Blurting your curiosity and asking the right questions shows that you commit to being present with
her and being present with her means that you hear what she is saying, you know what she really
wants to say and you do what is expected from you as a leader.
When reflecting on your encounters, check your intentions:
Were you really curious about her?
Did you have empathy and compassion for her?
Did you want to take or do you want to share, or give?
Are you a true romance artist?
Are you committed to becoming one of the Amorati and live by this code of conduct?
If you can stick with that commitment and do your missions till the end of this program, you will be
invited into the ranks of the Amorati.
Here are some questions to lock in the learning and fuel a discussion.
1. Were you able to choose curiosity more than before?
2. What were you curious about?
3. How did it make you feel?
4. Did it change her reaction? Were you surprised by her reaction?
5. What did you learn from your encounters?
6. Why is the curiosity of a ‘nice guy’ not attractive to women?


The past four weeks have all about raising our awareness. So far we have
explored:
Awareness of your Saboteur and what it is saying to you. Awareness also of
the multitude of Perspectives that are valid and from which you can choose.
Finally, awareness of the fact that you have the Blood of Champions running
through your veins.
Awareness is curative. Becoming aware of all this is all you can do, and
becoming aware is all you need to do.
Awareness is indeed a tool to start designing your life. The reason why we
put so much time and energy into this is because of the stories we have been
telling ourselves all these years. Without being aware of it, we have carried
this default story, these beliefs, these perspectives, with us for most of our
life and we have brought it into most of our interactions with women.
And now we are becoming aware of all that.
And now that we are becoming aware of the stories we tell ourselves, it is
time to act anyway and do it with a big push. We are going to learn to
approach and interact ANYWAY. Since last week, our missions have changed
from theoretical scenarios to practical interactions, and for the rest of the
program, the focus will be on those practical interactions. We are going to
practice approaching and interacting anyway - no matter what the Saboteur
says to us. TO ACT ANYWAY, despite what our Saboteur is telling us, is the
difference between living a mediocre life and a life of excellence.
And amazingly, the act of approaching and interacting with women in this
world will teach you everything.
We will provide you tools to make ACTING ANYWAY easier, but never forget
that everything stops and starts with YOUR CHOICE, your decision to ACT
ANYWAY.
Let's move with big strides into the land of women!
Today, we want to introduce another tool to make acting anyway easier. It is
the most important tool to move into the land of women with ease and
delight, whether you are meeting new women, dating them or in a
relationship with them.
It is the most important gift a man can give to women, and the single tool
that will make you interesting, charming, attractive.
Curiosity.
"Love is three quarters curiosity." said Casanova, and we think curiosity not
only is your gift to women; it is also your fast lane to maximizing your
attractive traits.
Curiosity is one of the most important things that you can develop in your
life. It is our belief that intelligence is curiosity. That's all it is. If you are
curious, you are automatically intelligent.
The fantastic thing is that you will become good in what you are curious
about. If you are really curious about computers, you will become good at
them. If you are really curious about women, you will be good with women.
Decide to explore your curiosity for women, and you will become better with
them. Invariably!
And curiosity is attractive to women. If you are curious, if you are interested,
you are automatically interesting to her. If you are interested in her, you are
interesting and attractive to her.
Usually when a man meets a woman he likes, he thinks - mistakenly - that in
order to attract that woman he must impress her. So he begins to brag
desperately, trying to tell her as quickly as he can everything he believes she
might find interesting about him. He talks non-stop, he tries to be funny, he
tries to impress her, and quickly overwhelms her with a pile of unremarkable
personal information.
He tries to impress her rather than be interesting ... he tries to impress her
rather than be interested ...
So be interesting rather than being impressive.
How?
By being curious about her ... if you are interested in her you are
automatically interesting to her ...
This week we are going to concentrate on becoming more curioius. We are
going to be curious about her and only her.
“The most important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has it’s own
reason for existing.” - Albert Einstein
"Go around asking a lot of damn fool questions and taking chances. Only
through curiosity can we discover opportunities, and only by gambling can
we take advantage of them." - Clarence Birdseye
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
If you couldn't talk about your job, city of birth or hobbies and
were asked who you are, what would you say?


How can you learn to be curious? How can you learn to be genuinely
interested?
By making a decision to do so.
Choose to become curious.
Choose curiosity and curiosity will breed curiosity.
Choose to say "I am curious ..." and you will become more curious.
Remember to focus on what and the how will take care of itself.
Like we said yesterday, the fantastic thing is that you will become good in
what you are curious about. If you are really curious about computers, you
will become good at them. If you are really curious about women, you will be
good with women. Decide to explore your curiosity for women, and you will
become better with them. Invariably!
If you decide you want to become more curious, you will find a way.
So here’s a practical 3 step process:
1) See a woman
2) Become curious about her
3) Blurt what you are curious about, starting with "I am curious..."
Check this interview on Belgian TV again for more on
curiosity: http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=99544596882
And here’s the link about it on the forum:
http://www.naturalgame.com/showthread.php?t=2839
Guys ask us all the time: "How can I be curious about a woman I just met?"
Like we said: choice. Choose curiosity. Choose to cultivate your curiosity.
Curiosity is a muscle you can train. Choose curiosity now, and as you will
notice, with experience, that your curiosity will grow and grow ...
You will find bigger and more questions ... and your world will expand ... At
first you will become curious about her, about that necklace, about the dress
.... With experience, you will become curious about the bigger questions.
What does she love?
Who is this person across form me?
What is she passionate about?
As you become more curious about the woman that is sitting across from
you, you will dispense with the chitchat and dial right into the bigger
questions. You can even blurt her: "Let's dispense with the chitchat for now,
and tell me ... who is this person across from me. You are a beautiful woman,
Maria, I can see that .... you have been complimented many times .... I know
... but tell me something interesting about you."
Choose curiosity now and through your experiences curiosity will breed
curiosity.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
p.s. avoid being heavy when you are approaching and just talking to a
woman. This post is about curiosity and how to train it. It does not mean you
have to be profound and heavy with a woman you just met.
Question:
Think about your last girlfriend or closest female friend, and
answer this question: What are you curious about right now in
that woman


Curiosity breeds curiosity.
Choose to be curious BY SAYING IT.
Choose what you want to become curious about and you will become good at
it.
Saying "I am serious" is like changing your position to change perspective!
Your Mission this week is to immerse yourself fully in the concept of
curiosity. Explore your curiosity ... Explore your curiosity for women, for
people, for attraction, for life .... and share that curiosity with the people you
meet. Explore your curiosity and speak your truth.
Be curious about everything, and notice what that creates in you. Be curious
about what your saboteur is saying. Be curious about your intention during
the interaction. Are you trying to speak your truth? Are you genuinely
interested in this person? Are you trying to get something from her? Are you
present or are you trying to steer the interaction towards a certain outcome?
Be curious about how your body reacts when you are nervous.
Most importantly, be curious about the woman you see over there. Inhabit
that kind of thinking.
Build on what you learned in the weeks before. Remember that becoming
aware of the stories your Saboteur is telling you, and learning to choose new
Perspectives, and remembering always that you have the Blood of
Champions - these are all incredible tools that you will use throughout the
rest of your life.
So when you see a woman, become curious about her and the situation and
blurt what you are curious about.
What is really important is for you to act anyway - in spite of your old story.
What is really important is you approach anyway. What is really important is
for you to talk to her anyway. What is really important is not to hold back
and say whatever is on your mind ... blurt what you are curious about.
To go and talk to her is a decision to make. To no hold back and speak your
truth in every interaction is a decision to make. You only need to focus on
having an interaction. No matter how that interaction goes. Stop measuring
your success by the reaction you get - measure your success by your
commitment to putting yourself forward into the interaction. Have you
spoken your truth?
The interactions themselves will teach you all you need to know. And we only
want to hear about how those interactions went.
So here’s the mission:
View Comments (0) Comment
Approach ten women.
In each of these situations, concentrate only on being curious about
everything. Get curious about her and the situation, use whatever tools we
gave you, walk up to her, and blurt whatever you got curious about. Say: "I'm
curious about..." Then pick something - anything! What you say after that
does not matter at all.
"I'm curious about those shoes..."
"I'm curious about why I am drawn to you ..."
"I'm curious about why you look so happy ..."
"I'm curious about why men are afraid to talk to girls like you ..."
"I am a student of life and of attraction and I am curious about you ..."
or answer any of her questions with "I am just curious."
Remember, it is not important to get a certain result. We just want you to
train your curiosity muscle and speak it to the world.
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you talk to?
Answer required
Question 2
What were/are you most curious about when it comes to the
women that enter you life?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
Were you able to speak your curiosity?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 4
How did it make you feel to speak it? How did you think it made
her feel?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 5
What were you thinking afterwards?


What does it mean to you to be good with women? How does this
look?
Answer
Upload or Insert:
Question 2
What is the number one mistake you have seen guys make with
women?
Answer
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
What do you need to do differently to become good with women?
Answer
Upload or Insert:


The first four weeks have all about raising our awareness: awareness of the
voice of Your Saboteur, awareness of your assumptions and perspectives,
awareness also of the power of choice also, and awareness of your legacy -
your duty as a man when it comes to moving into the land of women.
Curiosity will help you fulfill your duty as a man. Curiosity will be your
number one tool to act anyway and to approach a woman you feel drawn to.
Curiosity will also be your number one tool when you are dating that woman,
and when you are in a long term relationship with her.
The fantastic thing is that you will become good at what you are curious
about. If you are really curious about computers, you will become good at
them. If you are really curious about women, you will be good with women.
And curiosity is attractive to women. If you are curious, if you are interested,
you are automatically interesting to her. If you are interested in her, you are
interesting and attractive to her. You do not have to have something
interesting to say - you have to know how to ask the right questions.
So CHOOSE CURIOSITY and curiosity will breed curiosity. Worlds will open
up to you ...
In practical terms, when moving in the land of women it looks like this: 1)
You see a woman 2) You become curious about her 3) You blurt what you
are curious about, starting with "I am curious ..."
Blurting your curiosity and asking the right questions shows that you commit
to being present with her and being present with her means that you hear
what she is saying, you know what she really wants to say and you do what is
expected from you as a leader.
In this context of being present that you can practice drawing her out, and
interrupting her ...
So check your intentions: Are you really curious about her? Do you have
empathy and compassion for her? Do you want to take or do you want to
share? Are you a true romance artist?
Any experience-based questions, gentlemen?
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorat


Discussion
Question 1
In what other ways is seduction like a dance? Elaborate on the
metaphor underneath, and add another way in which seduction is
like a dance.

Start following your urge more.
Yes there are social graces to be respected, and we are not advocating being
blunt, but most of us would greatly benefit from following our urge more.
When it comes to projecting yourself into this world, the fear of ridicule
would be the most counterproductive stand.
So stop holding back, stop dialing yourself down. Instead follow your urge
and speak your truth. Put yourself forward into this world, so you can find
your voice, so you can find better ways to express your authentic self and to
maximize your attractive traits.
If your intentions are right, than always follow your urge. Trust your gut.
Trust the process.
How many times did we want to tell a joke, but we held back, because we
were afraid that the others might not find it funny. Afraid of ridicule. We
check ourselves, think that the others may not think it is funny, and hold
back. We measure our success by the reaction we get from others, so we hold
back.
The world wants more of YOU. Measure your success by the way you put
yourself forward into this world, and the first step in putting yourself forward
is to always follow your urge.
If your intention is right, always follow your urge. It is a huge part of dancing
in the moment.
~ Hans Comijn and Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Question:
How does following your urge look to you? Following your urge
starting today, what will you DO differently than before?
Dancing In the Moment
Tags: follow your urge
Hans Comyn
Are you holding back something that seems too obvious to share? Watch this video
from http://wimp.com/obviousyou/


One of the most powerful things you can do in your interactions with
women, is to constantly name what is going on in the experience. Learning to
describe the experience the two of you are having is a great tool to get you
out of your head, and allows you to be present in the interaction with that
fantastic woman in front of you.
This is a subtle element of dynamic and effective conversation. And so it is a
skill you should learn and practice consciously.
Since the beginning of this program we have stressed the importance of
speaking your truth, of not holding back, not dialing yourself down. Blurting
by means of naming what is going on in the interaction is part of that.
Blurting is part of speaking your truth, following your urge, dancing in the
moment.
If you can measure your success by you showing up and speaking your truth,
than it is clear to see that when you are blurting, there can be no "mess-ups".
You are simply naming what is going on the in the interaction. You are
simply allowing yourself to blurt whatever comes to you in your head.
So, if you run out of something to say, say that. Name it. If you are nervous,
name it. If she seems nervous, name it. Name it, and name it with delight in
your words and your voice. Try to be curious about your nervousness and
speak with that kind of curiosity in your voice. If you say it, if you name it
with a serious tone, it is not good.
So here is what you could do:
If you run out of something to say, say exactly that:
"Wow, I just ran out of things to say... tell me something interesting about
you!"
Or if you are feeling a little nervous, name it. You don't have to say it
like:"Uh, I am really nervous talking to you because you are so pretty, and
usually pretty girls want nothing to do with me." Instead say it with more
delight in your words and your voice:
"You know, for some reason... there is something really interesting about
you that makes me kind of nervous."
Smile as you say it (even though you are nervous).
Try to be curious about your nervousness and speak it with that kind of
curiosity in your voice. You should even say the phrase we recommended a
while ago last week: "I'm curious...":
"I'm curious about what it is about you that makes me feel a little
nervous..."
Smiling and ease and delight is important here.
Or also, name what you are thinking about her experience in the moment:
"Hmm, you seem to be a little tense... ah well, no need to be... I'm a little
nervous too... I try to live every moment of my life with ease and delight...
including this moment with you... so let's just relax and laugh at ourselves! I
promise you will not be uncomfortable in any way..."
So follow your urge more, blurt more. Use what comes to your head to name
what is going on in the interaction and you will instantly go from being in
your head to being in your body and fully present with her in the interaction.
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata

What would you do? What would you say?


Go and talk with as many women as you can this week... and strive for at
least ten. Concentrate on constantly describing to her what is going on... if
you are nervous, if you run out of something to say, if you are curious about
something. Anything that you are experiencing in the moment, or that you
think she is experiencing, or that is happening around you. Be relaxed and
curious.
Blurt. Name what is going on inside of you, inside of her, in the interaction.
Also, concentrate on describing how you want the experience to look like.
Speak it! "... you know it's going to be fun." ... "... yeah, but look what's
going on here between us." (we will talk a little bit more about this
tomorrow)
Blurt. Name what is going on and create the experience with her.
Remember to take careful mental notes about what the experience was like.
In fact, it really helps if you write about your experience in as much detail as
possible - as soon as you can after it happens.
Remember the themes from the weeks before... use the tools you have
learned about Perspectives, etc. And then go forth in the spirit of true
Champions.
And really be bold in naming things that are happening... Why not even
"name it" to her that you are consciously trying to "name it"?
"You know, there is so much mis-communication and guesswork that, on
this date, let's both name what is going on... just throw it out there. For
instance, I can see that you are really happy to see me!"
Blurt. Name what is going on and create the experience by naming it.
Smile, wink... and have fun!
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
At the end of the week choose the 3 most interesting interactions
and put your notes here in the assignment.
Answer



New found confidence in a man tends to trigger a type of cocky behaviour,
but there is a level of confidence that goes beyond this. Men filled with true
confidence, men completely and unapologetically being themselves, men
with a purpose and nothing to prove tend to be the opposite of cocky. In fact,
they playfully downplay their skills, their knowledge, their value.
This is what could be called self-deprecating humour, and it is the type of
humour that women love in a man.
Think about the moments you were being cocky, and what you were cocky
about... then think about the moments you were completely confident and
resorted to self-deprecating humour.
Aren't we being cocky only when we feel like we still have something to prove
(to ourselves and to others)?
A man with nothing to prove does not need to be cocky - he has no fear of
ridicule and thinks it's funny to downplay whatever he's being confident
about.
I like to quote what Cary Grant said when he was asked "What is the secret
to your success with women?". His answer? "I tell them I can't get it up..."
Another example is George Clooney, the fantasy of many many women. He
never shies away from putting himself on the spot, taking a 'ridiculous' role
or talking about himself with self-deprecating humour.
One needs to have massive confidence to allow oneself to do this. We know
this, and women certainly know this. George Clooney is not so popular
despite that sense of humour, he's popular (in part) because of that sense of
humour.
That sense of humour is a symptom of his confidence, of him being
completely at peace with himself, a man with nothing to prove... women
sense that, and are massively attracted to it.
That's the true spirit of being a man with a purpose, and it is also in this
sense that you should stop being so serious.
In the animal kingdom, animals display cocky behaviour because they feel
threatened, or because they really need to mate. They feel that, and so they
try to impress. Remember the last time you were trying to be cocky - you
were either among other guys measuring up to each other, or with a new girl
whom you were trying to impress. Are you usually cocky with true close
friends or girlfriends you feel completely comfortable with? Exactly!
Men with core confidence, with nothing to prove, never feel under siege,
under threat... they NEVER defend themselves and they don't feel the need to
be cocky... no hint of insecurity, no need to prove or impress... no fear of
ridicule. These men do not need to resort to cocky behaviour; they think it's
funny to downplay whatever they feel confident about.
Remember: "You don't have to be impressive... you just have to be
interesting."
~ Zan Perrion and Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata


Go into your week and let 10 women know that you desire them. Do
the same thing you did in the previous weeks, incorporating all the mission
themes from before. And also incorporate this new concept of Conspiracy -
smiling, winking, sub-communication - everything that makes up the
Masculine Edge of men.
And even though we are saying to let as many women as you can know you
desire them, you must do so with at least 10! And here is how we want you
to do it:
First of all, focus carefully on the intent behind the things you say. Empathy
is the number one thing to concentrate on. And never stray from the spirit of
humour and invitation and charm and delight as you practice adding in
masculine edge. Always make sure you show your genuine love and curiosity
for women.
For at least 5 of the 10 women, say this phrase exactly:
"... you should run away with me!"
For example, as an opening:
“Wow, I like your (dress|lipstick|hat|smile). You look fantastic... you should
run away with me!”
Or during the middle of the conversation:
"Wow, I have never met a girl from Hawaii before... I like it! You should
run away with me!"
Use your imagination, but include that phrase! And as you know already, do
not have any trace of seriousness in you at all. Smile and wink, like you are
just kidding. Put a sparkle in your eye.
Having fun, smiling, ... smile and wink.
Concentrate on the intent behind what you are saying. Don't look for any
result.
Ease and delight!
And for the other 5 girls of the 10, use your intuition and be a little more
sexual. With absolute kindness and respect, of course!
Say exactly this phrase:
"Look at you... you're a bad girl... I like it!"
For instance:
"Look at you in that incredible dress... wow... you're a bad girl... I like it!"
And lastly, if any of these ten women tells you that she has a boyfriend, do
not skip a beat! You must not change your facial expression or your body
language or your hand gestures or your smile at all.
Instead say this:
“Wow, does this mean we are going to have to be secret lovers? Wow... I
don't know..."
Smile, wink.
Remember, nothing but empathy...
~ Zan Perrion, Ars Amorata
Assignment
Question 1
How many women did you give the gift of desiring them?
Answer required
Question 2
How did you show your desire? What did you say, what did you
do?
Answer required
Upload or Insert:
Question 3
How did that make you feel?


Debrief Masculine Edge
While the main part of this program is about becoming a charming man,
becoming aware of and displaying a lower moving energy is an essential
ingredient of an integrated man. It cannot be undersestimated and it is the
number one thing that most of us men are missing.
Your masculine edge, your sexual desire, or anything you feel passionate and
strong about is the element in you that will take you from being a charming
man to being a magnetic man. It is the ingredient that makes you a woman's
fantasy, and it should be the first thing in the room when you enter.
Having said that, masculine edge is very hard to explain. It is something you
will start recognizing and celebrating when interacting and relating to
women.
A good way to summarize how masculine edge shows up in your relationship
to women is CONSPIRACY. A man conspiring with a woman.
Conspiracy is symptomatic for your understanding for women. Decide to
start picking up signals from women and you will start seeing them. You will
start recognizing the rhytm and flow ... the dance ... the subcommunication.
Once you recognize that language, you can start speaking it. You can start
creating it. You can create conspiracy with your words ... but they are less
needed than you think. A look, a touch, or the mere projection of your
energy ...
Masculine edge is a very complicated and very personal part of your
attractive traits. You need to explore how it looks to you. Decide to become
aware of what masculine edge means to you. Decide also to explore how it
shows up in your relationship with women --- try to pick up on the
subcommunication of women and explore how you can create conspiracy
with her.
It is a life-long journey, but once you start seeing this, complete new worlds
open up - and they are wonderful!
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Question:
1. After a week sitting in the question of Masculine Edge, what
have you become aware of when it comes to fully accepting the
integrated you? What part of you were you hiding and you now
can say : no more!?
2. Also, what changes in YOUR relationship with women when you
become aware of the world of subcommunication, of conspiracy ...


Intimacy
Your mission this weeks is at the same time very simple and very hard.
We want you to talk to women about the concept of intimacy.
Think about what intimacy means to you and talk about it with the women
you meet. Talk to at least 5 women about intimacy. Ask them what they
think it is, what it means to them, ... be completely curious about the
concept, about their ideas and what it means to you ...
If you can remain present and curious about the concept of intimacy and
what SHE thinks it is, you will probably learn a lot about how women look at
the world.
Discussion
Question 1
What were the definitions she gave, how is that different from your
concept of intimacy, what can you learn about that?


Authenticity, and your authentic desire is a concept that is very hard to
explain.
In fact, it cannot really be explained since it is a very personal issue. Nobody
can tell you how your authenticity looks. Nobody can tell you what your
authentic desire looks like. It is your authenticity, your honesty, your
vulnerability, your intimacy, ...
It all comes down to who you are today and what you want your life to look
like. Questions that need to be answered by YOU.
All we did this week was raise some issues, raise some questions, raise some
awareness to guide you along this journey towards YOUR AUTENTICITY.
And the journey does not stop today - the journey does not stop and the end
of this program - that journey never ends!
If there is one thing we want to affect you with it is our excitement to be on
this journey. It is probably the most important transformation you can go
through. It is probably the most important CHOICE you can make. As soon
as you embrace this journey with ease and delight you will have arrived. As
soon as you embrace this journey with ease and delight, every day of the rest
of your life will be a beautiful day.
And as long as you stay committed to this journey, we will be there for you.
Before we start the last week - is there something you would like to ask us? Is
there something you would like to ask me?
~ Hans Comijn, Ars Amorata
Hans Comyn
Embrace the Question
The most important transformation you can go through is to transform from someone who
desperately tries to figure out the answers to his/her questions, to someone who embraces that very question. To someone who embraces the mystery, the
quest. Someone who embraces his/her journey.
"Who am I today and what do I want my life to look like? What is my passion? What is my authenticity? What is my integrity? What does it mean to be a
woman, to be a man? What kind of relationships do I want? How can I truly connect?"
The answers to the most important questions in your life are temporary; the questions themselves are eternal. You do not have to be fixated on finding the
answers; it is enough for you to sit in the questions. As soon as you do, you can relax in the knowledge that you are already aspiring to more excellence in
your life. As soon as you embrace the question, you can find ease and delight in your journey towards more excellence.
The only sense of arrival you will ever get is to know you are on the right track. There is no endpoint you need to rush at, and you do not need a plan to get
there. There is only a path to be followed, and the next step along that path unfolds before your eyes as soon as you embrace the question. As soon as you
decide to sit in the question, you are on that path. And as soon as you are on that path, you have arrived. The rest of your life will be an exciting journey, a
beautiful mystery.
Embrace the mystery, your quest, your journey. Embrace the question.
~ Hans Comy