Garden of words

													---Garden of words---

**Only notes I could give is: Perhaps using a "phone voice effect" would make more sense. It is not a hard thing to do, you can even google it, it's a few clicks and bars to move. The other one would be, you can change a lot of things you feel like as in, to make it sound more natural because of odd wording or expressions. Feel free to change as much as you think is needed**

- Hey, it's me.
- So, I know that I haven't call in a long time.
- And, I have no excuses for that.
- But, I felt like there's something that I should at least tell you.

- You see when I left the city, I did it because I wanted to start a new life.
- I'm aware that, it was quite obvious.
- The previous days I was very moody and I was but... negativity for everyone around me.
- And despite everyone telling me that it was ok, I just couldn't allow myself to be a burden for everyone.
- I was, I don't know... prideful, I was reckless, I was immature.
- I didn't consider anyone's feelings, just mine.
- And, I regret that, so much.
- Among the people, I wanted to hurt the less with my self-hatred.
- You were the one that I hurt the most.
- And I know that!

- Despite telling me that it was fine because it was my decision.
- Deep down, I knew that I was about to leave a huge scar in you.
- You were trying to hide it.
- I know you so well.
- When I was done telling you that you shouldn't come with me. You sat and then you looked up.
- I know that you do as a silly attempt at controlling your tears.
- Looking up you think that they'll not run down.
- But it's not about seeing your tears, it's about seeing your entire face.
- You are so expressive. Even a fool like me can understand the situation, and you were never aware of that.
- I used to like that a lot, it was one of those features that you had that always made me look forward to the next time I would be able to see your face.
- I never told you that, I never told you a lot of things.
- And after that, for the first time, I did not want to see your face.
- Seeing you so broken felt like the weight of the whole ocean was now on my shoulders and head.
- And I actually had to look down.
- After that I left, thinking that not seeing you again was the best for us.

- We grew up together.
- We did a lot of stuff.
- We realized so many things that were too dumb to say them out loud.
- We had things that only we were able to understand.
- Remember?
- Do you remember when we went to the cinema together when we were 11yo and we said to each other: "Whoa, that's a huge TV".
- Or how we made a fool of ourselves when our friends pranked us and made us look for a staircase that was for just going up?
- We spent like 20 minutes trying to figure out how a staircase like that would look.
- And even so, there were so many things I did never shared with you...

- We wanted a garden on my balcony, remember?
- Not a big one, just, one made by ourselves.
- But nothing grew.
- And I was so fed up with a lot of things in my life that I blamed myself for that.
- I know that it had nothing to do with that, we were straight-up bad at gardening.
- But I was so filled with self-hatred that I just... had to blame myself.
- Sometimes we prefer to hurt ourselves instead of someone else because we think that it is easier and less painful for everyone.
- But that's a huge lie...
- The ones that love us are the ones that will get hurt the most when we do that.
- The balcony was empty, crops were dead, and none of us were there like we used to.
- Drinking something cold for summer, and something warm in autumn.

- Then... "that day".
- That day that none of us wanted it to arrive.
- I left.
- The first days felt like an eternity.
- But, if there is one good thing about routine, is that it makes you pass time faster.
- I got busy, I started over.
- And then, I met some new people.
- I was hesitant to, but they tried to get close to me.
- And they did, and I was able to stand the loneliness that we all fear.
- They taught me so many things.
- And they also realized that you were so important to me.
- It's crazy, I know.

- But they stopped me one day.
- Apparently, because I talked a lot about you.
- About the things we did, we talked, we learned.
- "It is so obvious", they said.
- They insisted that we were both a bit shy.
- Every time I repeated the things you once told me, they asked me "And you didn't notice?"
- And sometimes, when I said to them the things I told you, they asked to each other "Did he/she notice?"
- I wonder if you ever noticed "that".
- I didn't understand.
- I was still a bit blinded by the remaining hatred in my heart.

- One day, I started it. The "garden in the balcony project" that we once had.
- I used some non-conventional stuff.
- I used good memories as soil.
- I used some dreams as seeds.
- I watered them with hope.
- And after a while, I realized something odd.
- I didn't grow any plant.
- I'm a terrible gardener after all.
- But, instead, I grew words.
- Crazy, right?

- It took me a while and dedication, but the first wave of words wasn't that bad. You see, I grew these ones: I want to love myself.
- I learned to know the difference between growing those words with pride and selfishness and growing those with empathy and kindness.
- It didn't take me long to grow the next ones.
- Using the same soil and seeds, but I watered them with something different this time, the words you gave me so many times.
- Those words that you gave me but I didn't consider.
- They were really effective, I grew 3 words in like, no time.
- They were I AM SORRY.
- I'm sending them to you right now.
- And now, I'm so excited because, the new ones I got, I was thinking about giving them to you, but in person.
- I grew 3, again. But these ones, are very important. And I want you to know them.
- Since the first ones were "I want to love myself", I was already familiar with 2 words that I came up within this new harvest.
- Do you wanna know them?
- Here it goes...
- I LOVE YOU

- I'll go back, and I'll give them to you in person.
- And I hope that we'll be able to put them in that balcony that we left empty.
- Perhaps... you'll be able to grow some words for me.
- And I want to be there because I want to see them too.
- Give me a call once you have them ready.