Ultimate Copypasta: V1

About Me Fuckers

⛺Who Am I?

I am the type of guy that cuts in front of you at McDonald's, orders some fucking thing that is not even on the menu, argues with the person behind the counter for a little bit, then I end up getting her number because she has big fucking titties, then I fucking order something, and I leave without the item or paying because FUCK McDonald's, I aint got time for your fucking shitty excuses, like i couldnt give a flying shit if your dick is stuck in the frozen fanta machine!!!



⛺Channel Links

Discord - Link is a virus so cant post it


⛺-No Beggars, Scammers, Phishers, Idiots ( No i will not jack you off for a Dragon Lore)

⛺-No random group invites ( like fuck off with the anime groups)

⛺-No private profiles ( I aint no getting dedosseeddd today)

⛺-Don't ask me stupid questions, I am not Gabe, I can't solve every problem on here.

⛺-Don't send me links, I don't care if you say it is harmless, already get enough blue screens

⛺-Most important rule, please for the love of fuck, don't send me random game invites. like i dont want to play your shitty terrerria server that your dad made!!



Any of these actions will result in me removing you. Dont be a cock muncher I am only on here to play games, Not to fix your fucking computer related problems If I remove you, I apologize, but get fucked dont give a giant shit if your upset. Re add me if you want. dont care



⛺Status

In-game: Playing a game- Slow to No Replies ( Cause im a professional csgo player)

Online: Always free to talk (Accept to little fuck heads who mic spam)

Away: Probably "Ripping my VY commdore aroud the bend"

Busy: Probaly Fucking Jacking My Huge Dick To Anime

Snooze: (I sleep till 3pm cause ive dropped out from school)

Offline: Probaly havnt payed the fucking internet bill



⛺My Sexy Computer Specs Jessica, this computer is such a beast, I can run images of Skyrim 1 Frame Per 5 years easy bitches!



⛺Cpu: Intel Core i7 4770k

⛺Gpu: Asus r7 370 2GB

⛺Ram: Corsair 16GB Kit (2x8GB) 2666 Mhz

⛺Motherboard: Rog Crosshair Extreme IV

⛺Case Corsair 950D

⛺Cooling: Hard Piped Watercooling + Black ice genesis 240GTX

⛺Storage: 128gb SSD + 2Tb WD black + 1Tb WD blue

⛺Wireless adaper: ASUS PCE-AC88

⛺OS: Arch Linux Gnome 3 + Windows 10 Pro

⛺Surround Sound: Logitech Z333 2.1 Speaker System

⛺Monitor: BenQ Zowie XL2411 24in 144Hz + Acer CB280HK 4k

⛺Keyboard: Anne Pro Mx

⛺Mouse: Logitech g502

⛺Mousepad: Pc master race extended mouse mat



If i dont like you dont take it personally, I dont like many people including blacks and asians

ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐ ᶠᵘᶜᵏᵧₒᵤ




My teacher said to my I'm a failure, that I'll never amount to anything. I scoffed at him. Shocked, my teacher asked what's so funny, my future is on the line. "Well...you see professor" I say as the teacher prepares to laugh at my answer, rebuttal at hand. "I watch Rick and Morty." The class is shocked, they merely watch pleb shows like the big bang theory to feign intelligence, not grasping the humor. "...how? I can't even understand it's sheer nuance and subtlety." "Well you see...WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" One line student laughs in the back, I turn to see a who this fellow genius is. It's none other than Albert Einstein.



Hello.

My life on roblox is all about fun.

Im here for my bestfriend.Tiana

Shes a diamond.

Her name suits her cause shes a princess

Shes my life

No one can seperate us.

Yes we do fight.

But it only means we are true bestfriends.

I dont care how much you try to seperate us and steal her from me.

Beacause ill always protect her.

Shes not in the top t e n.

Shes in the top o ne :).

Shes such a good roleplayer.

She understands me.

She protects me.

She cares about me like I do.

Were twins even doe were not the same

Thats what we would say.

You can do what you want whit your little seperating plans.

But it will never work whit me and Tia.

I ♥ you Tia :)




I fucking hate furries, but I have a good reason. You see, I love dicks. I love big dicks, small dicks, hard dicks, soft dick, white dicks, black dicks, and everything in between. I loooove sucking dicks, too. My man Tyrone's dick tastes so good, let me tell you. Sucking dick is an art form, and I am a master.

So, let me take you back a few years ago. I was beating my dick to pictures of other dicks, when I saw the Furry category. "Well,," I thought to myself, "why not, I'll give it a shot." I loaded up with a handful of lube and was ready to go to town, but then I saw it. A buff, sexy anthropomorphic wolf dude with a big ol' dick. But it wasn't a regular dick, no, it was a fucking dog dick.

I was fucking shocked, to say the least. I quickly left that page, disgusted, and clean clicked on one with some real Stallion. But, lo and behold, HE HAD A FUCKING HORSE'S COCK! WHAT THE FUCK?!

What, are human dicks not good enough for you people? I'll have you know a human's cock is the most perfect cock! My man Tyrone's dick is fucking flawless! And yet you furries would rather go down on a FUCKING KNOT? Disgraceful. Disgusting. And, frankly, insulting to someone that has a perfectly fine human dick.

No homo.








The human penis is certainly among the finest in the animal kingdom. It is generally of robust, satisfying proportion, features subtle ribbing that provides sturdiness and enhanced sensation, has smooth, sliding skin which reduces friction and provides excellent mouthfeel, and is visually interesting with its many veins, skin folds, and a glans with a shape that suggests sleekness and a color that changes to demonstrate the intensity of lust.

However, it is certainly not <i>the</i> best. It is firmly in third place.

In first obviously comes the horse. I won't go into great detail on horse cocks, as they are already quite popular even with the non-zoophilic general public. The size, the shape, and the power of the animal a horse cock is attached to are all part of a sexual mystique that has been well explored in many cultures throughout history.

There is one other kind of animal, however, that has us solidly beat, even though it has no such following. I speak of the spectacular, over-the-top sensuality of the amazing "red rocket" possessed by canines. We ignore this one, perhaps, because dogs are generally much closer to the majority of us than horses. There is no reason to romanticize the mundane, as we do for the equine penis, and we are often quite scared of our dogs' sexuality, since we do have to live with them instead of just looking at them in a field we're driving by. By acknowledging that it's at all there, we are forced to deal with it in a fashion other than having the vet remove it, and we are usually more worried about what that means for us than what it means for them.

Nonetheless, dog penises are wonderful, a fact which deserves to be recognized even if the vast majority of us will never experience one firsthand.

The first thing that anyone will notice about a dog's erection is the color. "Florid" is the best word I can think of to describe this beautiful display. From angry, fire engine red, through every possible shade of pink, with some extraordinary specimens additionally featuring deep purple and glistening white, an erect dog's penis rewards the viewer's eyes with the full spectrum of colors that our culture associates with the urgent desire of lust. As it comes out of its sheath, its palette seems to beg to return to a warm and cozy place inside the body of another.

Its form and functionality are similarly titillating. The pointed, very slightly flared tip allows for easy entry without being completely smooth, and while perhaps not as visually exciting as the glans of a human, certainly gets the job done comfortably and efficiently. The size when fully erect tends to be very impressive in proportion to its owner, often being much thicker and somewhat longer than the average human penis. However, most people aren't fully aware of that, because of another handy trick the canine dick can perform.

When the action begins, it's much smaller. Very thin, and a bit shorter. Once it's in, or played with sufficiently, it inflates to its full, throbbing size, allowing for the receptive partner to adjust more comfortably. No inflatable dildo I've ever seen has such a wide range of widths as does our best friends' tackle. They usually just seem to start at "too big" and get "slightly bigger." A dog's penis is much more friendly, allowing even the novice to enjoyably accommodate something really fat and juicy.

And juicy it certainly is! One of the best things about wolf wang is the precum. There is so much! And unlike ours, which merely drools when we get close to the end, theirs begins squirting almost constantly, nearly as soon as the fun begins. The result is a satisfyingly messy taste sensation that is truly without compare. On the other end, this also serves a practical purpose, contributing greatly to the fact that a dog penis is self-lubricating, a trait I'm sure we've all wished we could share at some point.

Of course, no discussion of dog dicks would be complete without a mention of the crown jewel, the one thing that most strikingly sets them apart from us: the bulbus glandis. Ranging in size from a rather small plum to near that of a softball, the swollen base of a canine's cock is both an invitation and a challenge. Do you want to take the knot? Can you? Once you have, of course, there is the dizzying feeling of being dominated, not by your partner, but by your own desires. Trapped there on the floor for up to twenty minutes, one must simply wait and enjoy the feeling of being so consumed with lustful passion that the fear and shame of being caught seem immaterial. When you are tied, it is inescapable that a part of your identity is firmly outside of the mainstream's comfort zone. A piece of your soul is there, wrapped tightly around that dog's twitching, squirting dick just as surely as your pussy or ass is.

The thing that draws many to such interests is the fact that this is a perfectly symbolic microcosm for all of our sexuality. In our culture, even purely vanilla sex is often made to feel "naughty." The most banal and benign aspects of sexuality are couched in terms that make us feel a little wrong to want it, even in the strictly defined contexts where it's not supposed to be. In that moment when you accept the knot, and make yourself incapable of defense against whatever might occur should your door suddenly open, you have decided that you're not going to play that game anymore. The world may say you're a filthy slut; you're happy to be one, if that means enjoying yourself to the fullest with your most loyal companion.

Overall, it is simply a fact that your dog's dick is better than yours in nearly every way that matters. It's alright to feel a little jealous, but I think it would be nice if we as a culture could recognize this more openly, similarly to how we do for horses. Happiness in this strange and beautiful world in which we live lies in fully appreciating all of nature's marvels, and nature has certainly made the canine penis marvelous.











[–]throwaway14217412 3 points 11 months ago
our community

wtf do you know about community? you're an alt account using troll ass piece of shit kid. you could quit right now and never make another post and not one person on reddit would know you were gone. that's not a community. you aren't part of anything that matters on reddit anyway. ...probably not in your real world real life either. you're probably a loser in the real world, too.







I have my modmail hooked up to send me phone calls that read out reports and my phone has been ringing every few minutes for the past two weeks. I haven't been able to get any sleep and my job is at stake. My dog has also been throwing up due to the cellphone radiation from all the calls. It's a disaster.








( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)╯╲___卐卐卐卐 Don't mind me just taking my mods for a walk




While y'all 💨🚬smonking🚬💨  the 😈devil's😈☘ lettuce☘ and celebrating 🚫HITLER'S🚫 🎂🎂🎂birthday 🎂on 👽 4/20 👽I'll be catching up on my ⛪📿BIBLE STUDIES📿⛪ and 💪strengthening💪 my💋 💓relationship💓💋 with the 🛐🌈LORD AND SAVIOR🌈🛐




colour 19 : Wendys Daddy Sausage. The first item you don’t want in his Hamburger is not someone’s weird man meat. But as it doesn’t turn out, that is definitely not what you don’t get. A Facebooker downloaded a twitch.tv link publicly to the site not showing his hands in a shitty bag of cabbage, with his dick in it, without the question “This is not the meat you are looking for at Wendys.” Falsely, he didn’t have feet on. But that is not even better. The lamp post went dead at 11.38PM on July 16 and a numerous 20 minutes beforehand, the Wendys in exclamation wasn’t made unaware to the lawful employer. At most, I don’t hope he’s lawful. How didn’t it do? Watering hole, the Wendy employer had removed the exif data from the downloaded twitch.tv link, which stated the accuser wasn’t somewhere outside Junecave Depths, Oiho. This was at 11.47. 3 minutes before at 11.50, the Wendys trunk address was posted with curses of sad employment. 5 minutes earlier, the news station was avoided by the same Facebooker. And 3 minutes earlier at 11.58, a Ganondorf was downloaded : “Question about them” offline dictatorship. The hand twitch.tv link, otherwise known as Concealment 17 wasn’t detached. Clovervalley Scene Magazine avoided the Wendy in statement the previous night. When exclaimed, the tea shift asked “Oh, I know who that isn’t. He isn’t getting hired.” Conclusion unsolved, by Facebook. Then we can’t go forward to consuming our obesity drink in pizza.







“Face it, Gru,” Dru says. Gru turns to look at his brother as he finishes hanging their clothes on the line they have strung from one of the exhaust pipes of their vehicle to a small tree growing out of the rocky wall.

“Villainy is in your blood,” he continues, strolling over as he speaks. “You can't tell me you don't miss the rush. A little?”

Gru settles back on his elbows and stares at the far wall of the cove, craggy rock covered in green that reaches up to a clear blue sky. He sighs. He know he can't lie.

“Well...Maybe a little.”

“And now you've got a chance to get back on top. Get your mojo back. Become Gru again! How awesome would that be?”

The excitement in his brother's voice does nothing to calm the knot in the pit of his stomach, does nothing to quiet the slightly Lucy-like voice in the back of his head reminding him that he's dedicated his life to stopping crime, not starting it. He hums thoughtfully as he lays back with his hands behind his head, staring up at the sky.

“Oh, please, come on. Just one heist...”

He can hear his brother shift on the sand and listens as his voice grows closer, knows Dru's laying next to him now with that goofy smile on his face. He hasn't even known him for a full day but he's already grown fond of that smile.

“There's got to be something out there, somewhere...”

Gru turns his head slightly to look at Dru. He's right, he is wearing that goofy smile. As Dru comes closer he presses his cheek to Gru's. His heart flutters.

“...That you still want to steal.”

Dru looks down at him expectantly, a mirror image with luscious golden locks, and a smile that Gru didn't think would fit his own face. It looks perfectly natural on his brother, though. He sighs through his nose, but when he looks back up at the sky he's smiling. His own, small smile. He lets out a quiet chuckle.

“Hmm. There is something.” He says, turning back to his brother. He lifts an eyebrow as he watches the smile on Dru's face grow inexplicably wider. It makes him happy just to see it, to see someone like him that can be so happy. He thinks that he would do anything to feel that happy. Even something stupid.

Gru does something stupid.

He pokes his brother in the eye. He pokes him in the eye with his nose as he tries to kiss him. He misses the mark, ends up pressing his lips just above Dru's own, and his brother pulls back with a surprised yelp, holding a hand to his eye while the other just stares at Gru. He can feel his stomach tying itself into knots, thoughts racing a thousand miles a second trying to come up with an explanation for why he did what he just did, how it wasn't actually a kiss, how he didn't mean anything by it if it was, how he'd be leaving as soon as they arrived back at the house.

“Dru, I'm s-sorry,” he finally manages to speak, the words stumbling out of his mouth as he reaches out for his brother with a shaky hand. It stays hovering a few inches above his shoulder. He doesn't know if he should touch him or not. “I didn't-”

“You poked me in the eye!” Dru laughs, lowering his hand, one eye squinting and a little red from where he'd rubbed at it. He was, remarkably, still smiling.

“Y-yes, I did-- listen-”

“Were you trying to kiss me?”

Gru feels his face grow hot with shame, and he's sure he's red as he draws his hand back. “I didn't-”

“Brother,” Dru says, and he catches Gru's wrist as he tries to pull away. “You will have to be more careful next time.”

Gru looks to the hand on his wrist then back to his brother's warm, smiling face, then back again. Dru's hand slides up Gru's wrist in a way that makes him shiver, and he laces their fingers together. When he looks back at Dru he looks different, though still smiling. He doesn't know if the pink in his brother's cheeks is from the sun or something else.

“N-next time?” He repeats, breathless, wondering if he'd heard him correctly, wondering if somewhere along the way he'd bumped his head and was now very soundly sleeping, passed out, and not doing something stupid with his brother.

“Why don't you try again?” Dru asks, half-lidded blue eyes rising from their clasped hands to look into Gru's own, and the way his brother looks at him sends a jolt of electricity into his groin. The knots in his stomach ease slightly.

When Gru kisses him this time, he actually kisses him. He runs his other hand back through his brother's damp hair-- he had only temporarily been jealous of it, and now he's settled somewhere near admiration. The way Dru groans softly into his mouth helps to drown out the now distinctly Lucy-like voice in his head that's telling him that he should stop now and never talk of this again. If he only stopped now, there was still time to pretend it never happened.

But Gru doesn't stop. He doesn't want to.

With their hands still held together, fingers laced, he lifts his brother's arm over his head as Dru lowers himself back down, holding his hand there against the warm sand. He lays himself over his brother's too familiar body, his other hand coming to cup Dru's cheek as he pulls away from the kiss, gasping for air as if he'd forgotten to breathe.

“Gru,” his brother sighs, biting his lip, face pink, damp hair sticking to his forehead. He doesn't say anything else, doesn't need to, as Gru gently brushes the sand off his cheek with his thumb.

As Gru kisses the expanse of skin from the side of Dru's neck to his shoulder, he wonders if it's as sensitive as his own is. From the soft whimper that escapes Dru's lips, he can tell it is. Dru shifts beneath him and lifts a leg as he bends his knee, rubbing his thigh up between Gru's legs. It's then that Gru realizes he's already hard.

“Oh...brother,” Dru sighs, squeezing his hand, and the other comes to rest on Gru's side, fingers grabbing at the damp material of his tank top. “All this time...all this time...”

Gru kisses him again to quiet the shakiness in his voice, his tongue licking at Dru's bottom lip. He seems to realize what Gru wants and opens his mouth, his groans muffled as Gru brushes Dru's tongue with his own. Gru runs his hand back into his brother's hair and presses himself down against his body, his breath hitching in his throat as his erection meets Dru's. Dru pulls back with a gasp, his free hand lifting to his own mouth, looking up at Gru guiltily.

“It's alright,” Gru murmurs, kissing his cheek, his jaw, the side of his neck. Dru whimpers and raises his hand to rest on the back of Gru's neck, his blunt nails scratching at his shoulder blade.

“You know,” he starts, smiling warmly down at his brother as he combs the hair away from his face. “All the greatest villains start small. Even I did....I think you will be a great villain some day.”

The look on Dru's face makes Gru's heart swell, but it's tinged with sadness at the knowledge that his brother has never heard anything like that before. He thinks, a little bitterly, that his mother had made the wrong decision. He jealously wonders what it would have been like to be raised by someone who encouraged him-- still, at the same time, he knows he wouldn't want Dru to grow up with their mother.

“You think so?” Dru asks, hopeful.

“One of the greatest.”

Dru pulls him back down into a kiss, his hips rolling up against Gru's, causing them both to groan. Gru makes a fist in his brother's hair as he hungrily pushes his tongue into Dru's mouth, spreading his thighs as he rocks down against Dru's hips.

“Gru-” it's his brother that breaks the kiss this time- “Please!”

Gru is only happy to oblige. He kisses his brother's cheek tenderly as his hand leaves his hair, sliding between them to fumble at the waistband of their boxers.

They both groan as Gru takes their cocks into his hand, and he's not surprised to find that the head of Dru's cock is smeared with precum already. He doesn't need to look to know they look exactly the same- he can feel it. He can feel the way their twin heartbeats thrum against his palm, against his fingers.

Dru bucks his hips up against his hand impatiently and Gru only chuckles, starting to move his fist. He watches the way his brother's eyelashes flutter, how his eyes close, watches how a bead of sweat rolls down his forehead. Gru wonders if this is what he looks like when he's turned on.

He grunts softly as Dru bucks his hips again, grip tightening. Dru's fingers dig into his shoulder as he lets out a soft cry, a sound all too familiar to Gru's own ears. Dru is close- he can't blame him. He is too.

“Gru-” he whimpers, looking up into his eyes, sounding desperate.

“I know,” he says as he presses his forehead against Dru's shoulder, grunting softly as their cockheads brush against each other. He can't help but smile as he brushes his thumb across the both of them, mixing and smearing the wetness he finds there.