Rhorse

Feb 2019

Mar 28th, 2019
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  1. >You will never spend weeks developing a painstaking plan to rub the First Celestial Bank of Camelot with Lyra
  2. >You will never feel embarrassed when Bon Bon not only figures out your secret plan, she tells you both exactly where you've gone wrong and how to improve it so that it actually goes off.
  3. >You will never find yourself stuck in your very own Dog Day Afternoon re-enactment in a bank in Canterlot, only oddly more comic
  4. >You will never find as the hours pass that your hostages have far more in common with you three than you'd ever have imagined, the cops are all horribly corrupt and bank management is secretly embezzling the Crown
  5. >You will never find the hostages actively helping you three figure out a way to escape
  6. >You will never narrowly escape with your lives through a tunnel in the sewers, with three times more money than you'd originally gone in for and the rest of it secretly cut up between the dozen hostages who aided you.
  7. >You will never spend the rest of your lives in a herd in the South of Prance under new identifies with your wealth, reading about the fallout as the bank/police corruption you accidentally exposed comes to media attention
  8. >You will never see movies, films and songs written to commemorate your brazen heist, since you're now folk heroes and legends.
  9.  
  10. ------------
  11.  
  12. >>33623869
  13. Bon is still low key a secret agent and lied about it fizzling out. Her assignment is to keep an eye on Anon.
  14. >Anon shows up at her door step with flowers for her best friend.
  15. >He knows.tapestry
  16.  
  17. >>33623579
  18. >Lyra asks Anon about human holidays.
  19. >He is thinking on his stomach and mentions thanksgiving.
  20. >She tries to get it set up for him on the wrong day and there's a blue jay in a bird cage in the middle of the table and she's completely flustered on being an accomplice for her meat eating friend.
  21.  
  22. >Lyra takes Anon and Bon to a My Little Human convention in manehattan.
  23. >MLH is a super hero comic series in where humans are these kryptonian motherfuckers, exploding plannet and a All
  24. >but replace super powers with high tech anal probe tier equipment.
  25. >[startled and arousd horse noises]
  26.  
  27. ------------
  28.  
  29. Lyra invites Anon over for a home cooked meal, and goes all out.
  30. >She knows humans eat meat, and so seeks out a gryphon seller.
  31. >She even manages to get some recipes from the hen as she's picking up her order, and goes to work as soon as she gets home.
  32. >It's gross and slimy, and doesn't smell appetizing to her pony nose, but she's pretty sure the final result is good.
  33. >She can't bring herself to try a bite before Anon arrives.
  34. >"Anon! You're here!"
  35. "Well, I did say I would be, right?" He asks with a chuckle as he slaps his belly. "And I skipped lunch so that I could enjoy your dinner to the fullest."
  36. >"And you won't be disappointed," she responds confidently.
  37. >Her head dips slightly as she mumbles under her breath, "At least, I hope you won't."
  38. >Inviting the tall human inside, Lyra quickly seats him at the dining table, the whole thing, along with his chair all propped up on her personal book collection to make it more comfortable to the human.
  39. >Then she rushes into the kitchen, only to return with a platter topped with a silver dome.
  40. >"And for the fine gentleman, we have a delicacy tailored to his unique palate," she starts in a mock Prench accent, suddenly grinning as she sets the plate down and levitates away the dome with a flourish of her magic. "Ta~da!"
  41. >Set in the middle of the plate is a small bowl of creamy tartar sauce surrounded by a ring of golden brown pieces of fried fish.
  42. "Are these...?"
  43. >"Fish fingers!" Lyra chirps. "The gryphon who sold me the fish says her family loves them. Plus... fingers!"
  44. >As Anon stares down at the plate, she begins to get nervous.
  45. >"Y-you know, 'cause of your hands... It's funny... Right?"
  46. "It's..." Anon starts, sniffling. "My mom used to make these for me all the time. Even when I grew up, she'd make them for when I visited."
  47. >He looks at her with a gentle smile.
  48. "Thank you, Lyra... They look great."
  49. >Lyra feels herself relax as she smiles kindly back at him.
  50. >"It was no problem. I'm just glad you're happy, Anon."
  51.  
  52. ------------
  53.  
  54. >>33627290
  55. >Lyra asks Anon if he wants to come along with her to Manehattan.
  56. >She has a show to perform there, and she'd like the company.
  57. >Normally, she'd ask BonBon, but her bestie is busy.
  58. >Of course, Anon agrees.
  59. "I've never been to a pony city before. Well, except for Canterlot, but I spent most of my time in the castle."
  60. >Once they arrive, and Anon rouses her from sleeping on his lap, the two decide to explore the city before heading to the hotel.
  61. >Lyra wants to check out the market, and Anon prepares himself to carry her bags on the impromptu shopping trip.
  62. >"I should pick BonBon up a souvenir," the mare is saying as she has her face pressed against a store window. "You think BonBon would like a snow globe?"
  63. "I'm sure she'll like anything if it's from you," Anon tells her as he scans the buildings around them. "You're her best friend after... all..."
  64. >Lyra blinks, turning to the human curiously.
  65. >"Anon?"
  66. >He doesn't respond, instead walking towards a window with bipedal mannequins on display.
  67. "These look like human clothes," he comments.
  68. >"Or minotaur," she adds, pointing to the legs. "Still, you could wear the coats."
  69. >Anon leans in, and winces.
  70. "Yeah, probably not. Look at the price tags. I don't have that many bits."
  71. >She looks, and flinches.
  72. >"Yeesh. Must be because they're specialty items."
  73. >Anon sighs.
  74. "Yeah... Well, come on, lets find BonBon that snow globe."
  75. >As he walks away, Lyra returns her attention to the store and bites her lip.
  76. >"I'll buy you something, Anon."
  77. "What?"
  78. >"Really, it's no problem. This gig is gonna pay a lot, anyway, come on."
  79. "No, I couldn't ask you to do that."
  80. >"It's fine, Anon, I want to, now come on."
  81. >She enters the store before he can argue further, and he reluctantly follows.
  82. >The two shop around, Anon intending to say there's nothing he wants, but stops as he spots something eye-catching.
  83. >"Are those... hand clothes?" Lyra asks, peeking around Anon.
  84.  
  85. >>33629041
  86. "Gloves," he corrects. "For winter. I need a pair, but Rarity is having trouble getting them to fit right."
  87. >"Well, lets buy these then," Lyra suggests. "Do they fit?"
  88. >Anon picks one up and slides it on, the fabric fitting perfectly around his hand, save for his pinkie and ring finger having to share one sleeve.
  89. >Darn minotaurs and their four digits.
  90. >Still, he can tell they're warm, made of quality material and they feel quite comfortable.
  91. >Maybe Rarity could even stitch on another finger for him.
  92. >As he thinks about this, he sees price tag, and heaves a sigh.
  93. "Still too expensive, though. Seriously, a hundred bits for gloves?"
  94. >Didn't I say I would buy them?" Lyra says, with a smile. "Come on, let's take them up to the register."
  95. "Lyra, no," Anon says sternly. "I'm not going to let you waste the bits. You need those."
  96. >"I already said this show-"
  97. "Is the only one you've gotten in three months. These bits have to last you until your next show."
  98. >"It's fine, really."
  99. >He goes to refuse her, but then she places a hoof on his hand, looking up at him with a pleading look.
  100. >"Please? Let me do this for you, Anon."
  101. >He tries to resist, but sighs.
  102. "Fine," he concedes. "You can buy me one glove."
  103. >"Huh?"
  104. "That's right. You buy the left, and I'll buy the right. We'll split the cost right down the middle."
  105. >"You don't need to do that, Anon."
  106. "Yeah, well it's the only way you'll be buying me something, so take it or leave it."
  107. >She huffs with a little pout.
  108. >"You're really stubborn, you know that?"
  109. "Pot meet kettle."
  110. >"Fine, come on, you big lug. Lets get you some hand clothes."
  111. "Gloves."
  112. >"Same thing."
  113. >Anon chuckles as the two make their purchase.
  114. >He'd have to pay the mare back with extra ear scritches for the foreseeable future.
  115. >It's the least he can do.
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