dev 2 - control

To think that he would bask in the emotions this way. It is often said that the urges and desires of all kinds, especially ones that stem from pure emotion, tend to fuel the magics of people as a whole- that they tend to provide the raw, necessary sustenance to their bodies to perform the greatest feats of magic that exists. And yet.. at the same time, there's something which has bothered him greatly, something that has proven rather detrimental to him.

The way his body acts out on its own.
The way he lost control that fateful day.

Even if the reports and everything else tells him that it's been rather the influence upon him, be it from Banshee or anything else.. the fact remains a single aspect - he doesn't know the line, he doesn't know where exactly it was still him. For all of it felt so natural, without restrain to be had.. is he truly a monster then, to attack his comrades like this?

"I brought you here to discipline me and teach me how to control myself." Though, not directly.. and at least, not in the way that Lax expects him to. Around them, there's a brilliance of the lake amidst the forest, one of the sacred blooms that remain upon the land. Here, they could find themselves at peace..

If one could call it that.

"My body reacts on its own to threats, harm or anything that pushes me around. Knowing your type of magic, knowing how you can summon torturous, spiked vines and the spores to suffocate.."

"I want you to push me around with those. I want you to drive those thorns into my flesh, and prevent me from manifesting my natural weaponry." Is he referring to the Bone magic? Perhaps.. but Nerin is indeed known to sprout out those deadly blades rather swiftly at the sight of trouble.

"I want you to prevent me from slipping." For he already had talent and raw strength.. but not control.

"Could you?"
(Nerin)

A few moments are simply spent on thinking, from Lax's side. This whole 'controlling one's emotions' quite did not make sense to the man, as he was an adept of following natural order and acting as one left on these lands by Creation, or did he mean..not allowing another to influence him? These were still quite not clear to him, but he would call out.

"It depends. I can simply keep you locked into the ground for good, dizzy, or I can actually inflict pain, toxins that if not cured, would eventually maim you, destroy your brain, or even kill you."

"It's your body, you decide."

With that much said, Lax would kneel, facing the lake and resting his palm onto the ground, closing his eyes - he seemed rather serene if anything, as if having had some rest, but that is as far as it goes. There was no excitement to the man, nor any joy.

"Do not allow me the choice, that much I can warn you." - and he did well, warning Nerin of that, as he knew how cold and decisive the man could be in such situations, and he knew that by allowing him this freedom, he might actually end up dead.
(Lax)

To control one's emotions was important to Nerin. That being said, it does not necessarily mean that he would be there to stop them altogether from incoming.. if anything, he knew that by allowing these emotions to spring up in his soul, heart and mind, he could be stronger as a whole - he could be made much better, but..

Losing himself to it?

It is not what he had intended. Even now, he remembers a single note that Id had left him after lecturing him on the Energy magic, something that he always kept in his mind ever since the day that it happened.

---
'You have to control yourself.'
'Find yourself. Find something to believe in.'
'Find something to fight for and keep it in your mind.'
'Concentrate. Focus. Steel your mind.'
---

Almost as if it became a new dogma for his mindset, he knew that he would need to ensure it stays that way.. lest it would become something that he's incapable of doing. Considering everything that's been happening, the faith and belief upon his mind was greatly shaken by the actions of Vandigan and the like, but..

Steadily, he removes his upper garments, revealing bare torso. Here, he carefully sits himself onto the ground in what seems like meditative position, and he speaks out.

"Push it slowly."

"You can wrap thorns around my body and inflict pain. You can suffocate me in spores- but do not overstep your boundary to maim me. I want to remain conscious."

"Continue doing so until the very last edge, until you see that I'm about to lose it. Keep me edging there and do not let go."

At least, this should suffice.. right?
(Nerin)

Oh, but one does not learn from being honourable in their ways, does he? No, not at all, honour was something Lax stopped believing in - it was something imposed by humanity, to maintain order and to give oneself a feeling of superiority over another.

There was no honour in the natural order, only Genesis.

"Hmm.."

That much is said, as a surge of Mana is being redirected into the ground - before Nerin got to blink, the ground below him started shaking, a shrieking of sorts being heard shortly after that. It was the man's summon that had gotten to the Bonemancer, the thorned vines that would wrap themselves around his frame, around his neck and limbs, twirling around his fingers and not allowing him to close his fist, so that no blade may be summoned by doing so.

Nerin was sent to the ground, with his face in the mud, forced by the natural forces brought forth by the man to step at his lowest, forced to succumb into madness and wrath ashe is forced to the soil, just like a dog.

Flowers would start sprouting from the summoned vines, emanating toxic spores that were indeed meant to hurt another, seeping the toxins deep inside the man's Pattern second passing, weakening him, turning his limbs numb, driving him into a fever of sorts, and perhaps turning his stomach outside down, too.

Lax was not holding back, and that is what Nerin could notice from the get-go. However, the man was not watching his chosen brother, keeping his eyes closed as he rose to his feet, from his kneeling position, exhaling in relief.

Perhaps, something was on his mind.
(Lax)

This is for his control.
This is where he must not succumb to the anger.

Already something within him stirs.. something that causes the ivory colors to protrude from his body and slash away at a single vine, immediately separating it, but.. it's not too long before Nerin grits his teeth, almost as if trying to reel in the control over his body once more.

"Stop-- stay down.."

He disciplined his body too much. So much that it defends him almost on its own.. and the natural response that follows after his body is one that attempts to lash out against Lax; if anything, it feels as if Nerin is in deep struggle for not letting his instinct and emotion to overwhelm him, one in which he basks within the turmoil and violence imposed by his chosen-brother.

Inhale, exhale. He must remember the day.. the day of his own humiliation, of how everyone turned against him. He knows that by lacking control, he would not prevail in this.. that he would not be able to paint the image of the future in exactly the way that he wants - that he would not be able to ensure their prosperous tomorrow comes about.

Here.. it becomes a test of his willpower.

One in which the steady flow of mana surges through his circuits, manifesting as a shimmering brilliance of blue. It's rather quaint how he attempts to restrain himself, how he intends to find control amidst the eye of the storm that becomes tormenting pain.. the suffocating presence of spores released, but..

"I can do this.."

Is it an utterance to himself? Perhaps. Yet, it seems that he's handling it so far..
(Nerin)

When Life dies, new Life protrudes and so, from the sliced vine, another would grow in the blink of an eye, which would replace the other, coiling around the downed man's frame and maintaining him locked in their grasp, whilst constantly tightening the grip on his limbs and neck, to suffocate him and to make him forfeit to his own feelings, of anger, of wrath.

If anything, Lax was not working towards offering Nerin control, but towards making him lose it - he believed not in in such, and that is the main reason he would push the man harder, and harder, to his demise.

The toxins pumping through his veins, they would take their toll on the man's body, forcing him to regurgitate before's meal, and the blood resulted from the bacteria's feast on his organs - if anything, they were not children, to play with their powers.

However, the purple haired Knight would not pronounce himself on the whole ordeal, letting Nerin believe that he was helping, having 'control' over how the toxins act still, being able to withdraw them from one's body at Will.

"If I could change the way that you see yourself, you wouldn't wonder why you're here. They don't deserve you."

That much is said, called out to the downed man, perhaps to add to his anger, to give him something more to control.

Needless to say, with all the trust Nerin was entrusted by the man, Lax did not believe in him succeeding into such, after all that is being done to him. There was only so much one could do, before giving in.

Things were just not meant to be.
(Lax)

It's agony, refined and pure. The opulence that coursed through his veins and persisted in the air caused his countenance to become pale, paler.. until one could very easily mistake him for a very sickly, ill man. Steadily weakened by the constant pressure of the flooding toxins that are present to him, the vines do not help to that- if anything, the constant irritation that follows the thorns is met with a grit of his teeth.

It's tempting to lash out. It's tempting to just slash away at the vines, to reform his body and purge the toxin, but.. it would be an easy way out, one that he doesn't intend to take- for if he were to do so, it would only mean that he's become a failure when it comes to the Energy magics. That temptation still lingers on, however..

So much that the bone begins protruding from his body. Here, where he's pushed to the edge, the entirety of his body seems to grow aggravated; words of Lax only adding salt to the injury with the way that he speaks towards him, with the way that he seeks to irritate the magi and turn him into a weapon of self-destruction. It's so close, so terribly close..

But he must remember why he's here.
Why he's doing this.

The reasons why he fights.. which would be the justice for the fall of his chosen-brother Zus, and the death of Jasper. After latest confession that Elijah has spoken, that witches in fact do exist.. there's no doubt in his mind that they must act. There's a desire in his mind to overcome the fragile uncertainty and rage that he possesses.. to find the peace of mind amidst the storm of constant betrayals. The desire to overcome, the desire to be something more, despite others leaving him in the dust..

The desire to change.

Here, the brilliance of blue begins to shimmer. He seems terribly, terribly weak by now.. and yet, much like a beating heart within him, it perseveres against the odd. Here, it aligns to the heart within the chest of a warrior, where the pure Energy alone courses him in the ways unseen, all to sustain him.

Thud, thud, thud..

"--It's not about them."

"It's about me.."

A simple remark, and steadily, the shimmering light seems to try and push back. Even now, after all this turmoil.

He dares resist?
(Nerin)

One man once said that if violence does not solve your problems, then you are not using enough of it.

Beating one into submission was perhaps, one of the most favourite acts Lax could witness and do - he would force the vines to strengthen around the man's limbs, up to the point of perhaps even breaking his bones, forcing him to feel the pain of his own weapons tearing at his flesh and feasting on his blood, which seems to have taken a rather green-ish colour of sorts, due to the spores.

"You are alone from now on."

And with that, pacing steps could be heard, as the man remained still in control of the vines and the toxins in one's body, continuing pushing him down, and down, and so down that one might lose all will to live, if not for the blue that starts protruding through the little space the vines would leave, after coiling around his body.

"You have taken what you wanted. It is my time, now."

The sound of steps would become more and more clear, more resonant, as Nerin slowly loses his consciousness, or is he?
(Lax)

To be on the verge of passing out, and yet remaining in control. These are the principles that he believed Id was willing to instil in him- to cling onto his belief as if there's no tomorrow and focus his will, not emotion, in order to refine himself in a way that would suggest he's incapable of being brought down in such manner. Here, where he finds himself enveloped in vines and toxins..

He dares fight back.
Again and again.

The shimmering light becomes more, far more than he could imagine.. for when Nerin focuses upon the flow within his body, it becomes a disciplined technique attuned to his heartbeat and breathing. If anything, it feels as if he could touch upon the very substance of energy just about any moment.. that he could become something more, something far more refined than what he used to be.

Perhaps, with this..
He'll find both justice and peace.

At least in his mind. Here, this light protrudes further around his form, enveloping him in the steady flicker and light that threatens to fight back against the toxins and vines alike- where he was pushed beyond the measure, instead, it becomes a steady pulse that could not be defied - the steady pressure of the Energy which could not be snuffed out.

For the first time, Lax could feel his natural weaponry failing.. up until it falls apart around him, and the toxin steadily flushes itself out with the constant empowerment that follows. It isn't clear what thought, what idea that he's grasped onto for such will- not for Lax at least.

But deep inside..
Nerin knew.

"I think.. I'm done.."

He passed the test, did he not? As much as steady control was a fickle, vague thing.. he managed to grasp onto his firm belief to push on.

Something to commend him on.
Something to hold onto in the days of dark.
(Nerin)