Because I feel like I need to say something

I want to preface this by saying this post is in complete support of the anonymous poster. I do not know the anonymous poster personally, I and my experiences are not theirs and I do not want to imply I know how their trauma has affected them.

This post is may have references to my own personal experiences, and while I don't want to talk about them directly, I have too many direct parallel's to anonymous's personal experience to create a response without them. I will likely make inferences, based on my own experiences with something almost nauseatingly similar, but I want people to understand the anonymous poster should not need to defend herself or her actions.

Regarding "a breakdown in communication":

Anonymous stated that when she stated she did not want to have sex, arguments would ensue. THIS IS NOT NORMAL BEHAVIOR. THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR. THIS IS NOT EXCUSABLE BEHAVIOR. Why do you think anonymous stopped communicating with you? Being yelled at because you don't want to have sex with your partner would make any normal person shut down. You start to wonder if that's all you're good for, is that all they care about? You don't just get to write this off as "we were both toxic - she didn't communicate with me." That's absolute bullshit. I know this feeling too well. This is not a "normal breakdown of a relationship." This is EMOTIONAL ABUSE and you can not expect anonymous to just go about the relationship normally and want to hold hands/kiss/touch like a person would in a normal, happy relationship.

It is not your partner's job to fulfill your sexual needs. It does not matter if you haven't had sex in a week, a month, a year, or 50 years. Your partner is allowed to say no. And this speaks to a greater problem with how it feels a lot of cishet men see women. Because it is not just me, it is not just anonymous, a lot of women deal with this issue in their own ltr.

Just because you are in a relationship does not mean you are required to have sex with a person. Ever. It does not mean you can expect sex from your partner. If your partner DOES NOT WANT TO HAVE SEX YOU DO NOT GET TO MAKE THEM FEEL BAD ABOUT IT. EVER. Sex is not guaranteed. Sexual acts are not guaranteed. This is not something you are owed by being in a relationship with someone.

Consent is a yes. A lack of a no is not consent. There is no grey area. A long term relationship is not grey area. A breakdown in communication is not a grey area. Coercing someone into saying yes is not a yes. Yelling at someone for saying no is emotional abuse.

I will state this clearly: Nakkiel's post is gaslighting. He is gaslighting the victim by saying that "we were both toxic" and deflecting from the actual assault at hand. This is not ok, and I'm disgusted by the number of people calling this a grey area. I sincerely hope you never inflict the pain he has inflicted on his victim onto anyone by acting similarly.

You don't get to demonize people who have assaulted women they barely know but then turn around call this a grey area because they were in a long term relationship. THERE IS NO GREY AREA. THIS IS NOT A GREY AREA.

BELIEVE VICTIMS. A RELATIONSHIP IS NOT CONSENT. BELIEVE VICTIMS.