asd

First off I'd like to thank you for writing to me.

It's a little difficult for me to type this response back without thinking I am being sanctimonious, and that maybe a simple 'that's alright' would do, but in the capacity you have known me, a short and concise answer is probably not something you have come to expect. Nor, for that matter, would I reasonably expect you consider me something other than sanctimonious...

I have never had a great difficulty in seeing the best in people. Perhaps that is my particular knack.

I agree that there were things that were unreasonable and rude, but they seemed infrequent. I did not consider you belittled anyone for saying the truth - and moreover, I believe certain people could have had much more tact in venturing that truth to you - but I think you reacted poorly to hearing people with genuine knowledge about, or genuine concern for, your wellbeing. I certainly did take issue with you deleting things that you disagreed with, and that you perhaps entered into some arguments without any sincerity. Your personal choices and the way you went about them left many others, a great many times over, with very little empathy for you. I am not necessarily one of those people, but I sympathise a great deal with others who were in many ways the victims of your behaviour. Personally, I found myself regretting that you did not quite have the life experience and maturity of someone else in your shoes, but then, I did not and never really expected you to have it. I think some of your behaviour was and is understandable on that basis, but that is not to be confused with 'acceptable' in any way.

In summary, like other people who have yet to take meaningful steps in their life, I never thought to 'write  you off'. The sorts of things you did, I still think, can be made good given time. They were - in some instances - breathtakingly poor choices on your part. They had a very real and taxing impact on others that they will remember going forward. It does not surprise me those people (myself included) now no longer wish to include you in their lives. Perhaps that is for the best. Going forward, at least, you can remember what most of the consequences of your actions were.

As always, what is much more important for me that you understand that all are worthy of being granted second chances. There is no such thing as a mistake that cannot be fixed or forgiven in time. What is required is a commitment to yourself to do better and not to let your demons get the best of you. Hence, I am very pleased - even if you have probably given me more of an apology that I am owed - that you now say you are contemplating what it means to 'step back and think of the bigger picture', however much work that might really involve. I think it shows a step in the right direction on your part. I think it shows you're capable of doing better than you did, and perhaps that is all that matters.

All things considered, you might think of this time in your life as an opportunity for a good turning point (I certainly do). I can definitely remember such times for myself, when I wondered if my life would be alright or if I would be as bad, insufficient, unwise and deeply unhappy as I was at that point in time. But I did turn the corner eventually. It is all a step forward up the proverbial mountain, albeit after about eight or nine steps sideways. No matter what, if you keep taking steps forward and putting in the work, then you will come right eventually. It will be very difficult at times to remember, and you may want to give up, but to move a mountain, first you must begin by carrying away small stones.

It gladdens me that you considered my words of use to you. I have so very many of them, and they tend to run on and on and on, sometimes. There is no need to thank me for anything you think I have done, as it cost me so little and did not weigh on me terribly much.

Remember that a person is nothing more than the sum of their deeds, not their words. There is a lot of time in the world for good deeds.

I remain,


Jake