demon anon 6

>you are the demon who identifies as [spoiler]mayonnaise[/spoiler] human. on the inside.
>after all it's the human on the inside that counts
>/you're not entirely human on the inside. i'm still here./
>oh jee. thanks for reminding me.
>/being stuck with you isn't too pleasant for me either. but i'm helping you because this is my body now too. you just seem to be stuck in the pilots seat. i've tried to take control, but i cannot. at least not for very long. but we're stuck together until we figure a way to fix it./
>nah. it's my body. you can't control it at all
>you do your best to give a mental :^)
>and you get kicked by your own leg
ow.
>fine. point taken.
>/shut up. the purple one is trying to get your attention./
>twilight looks irritated
>"listen when i talk to you demon! i'm trying to get more information out of you and you're just making weird faces and kicking yourself!"
sorry twilight. i was having a mental dialogue.
>"you mean monologue"
i'm sure i did....
>she shuddered a little when you spoke
are you cold?
>"n...no. anyway. so you know the consequences of breaking the promise you just made, right?
>you muster up your best angry ponkers impersonation
NOPONY BREAKS A PINKIE PROMISE
>she seems shocked
>but she probably tossed that in the bin of "creepy weird things this thing knows about me and my friends" mental bin
>"i'll...take that as a yes."
yes, it's a yes.
>"and you know that while not no paper, it's a binding contract?"
affirmative
>"so how were you planning on
>she makes air quotes with her hooves
>help me"
by pretending to be a stallion or...otherwise to help you know what to do and react to situations in a well mannered fashion i suppose
>"...roleplaying"
robe and wizard hat included.
>"what?"
so are you going to accept or not?
>she seems hesitant
>but after some time she nods
>that makes a wide smile form on your face
>and she blushes while looks away
>holy shit she's too cute
>/cute enough to fuck until she's a quivering mess/
>shut up, you

>can i use my new demon powers or whatever to make a robe and wizard hat?
>/yes. but don't./
>fuck you, i do what i want
>/i won't stop you. but i'll make you regret it if you do./
>oh no. don't kick me again.
>/do it and i will brutally and violently rape you in your dream tonight./
>damn. that's out of proportion isn't it?
>/that was a joke. but don't do it./
>top tier joke. ten out of ten.
>"so when do we start, anon?"
there's an important demonic ritual i need to preform before we begin
>/demonic ritual? there isn't anything you need to do to preform the task she asked of you./
>twigglywigglys concern over this statement is evident on her face
>"what do you need to do?"
>ignoring the question, you walk past her back to the kitchen
>your tail moves to where it caresses her side as you walk by her
>dripping is heard from behind you a moment later
>but that doesn't matter.
>important demonic things to do
>and by demonic things you mean drinking the remainder of the pot of coffee
>which is almost full
now that my terribly evil ritual is done, let's do it
>twilight bites her lip then shakes her head a little
>"y-yeah. but first can you....do that thing again?"
>boop
be more specific, twi
>after the scrunch she turns around and lifts her tail
>you sigh
again?
>"i know you don't really like it...but please?"
>/use your dick this time/
>no, head demon.
mmmm. no. not yet. let's get some of that help in first.
>"b-but you have to! it's in the contract!"
yes it does. but it doesn't say i must immediately act upon your command. think of it as....a reward for how you do. the more you pay attention and the better you do, the....better i will uhm....relieve you of your heat.
>"you're making this a kind of game? like a roleplaying learning game?! i love learning games!"
>she claps...clops?...claops? her hooves together and make a cute little squee noise
>and also makes a small puddle of mare juice behind her
>man, she must REALLY love learning games

>twilight has led the two of you to the not rape dungeon
>it's just her basement
>she's excitedly running around gathering necessary note taking materials
>parchment, quill, ink
>extra parchment, extra quill, extra ink
>backup extra parchment, quill, and ink
>when she's done gathering her "necessary" items she plops down in front of you and smiles widely
>"so how do we start this, anon?"
well....imagine you're at your favorite.....resturaunt.
>she bites her lip and squirms as she closes her eyes
>"mmhm... i'm at that little hayburger place"
>your ear flicks and turns towards a click noise
>as you turn your head to locate the source of the sound your surroundings start to dissolve
what the fuck is this?
>twilight opens her eyes and looks around in confusion
>"this is...where i was imagining we were. did i accidentally teleport us there? i've never done something like that before, i swear!....but it isn't unheard of for unicorns to unintentionally cast spells during estrus....i didn't do this, did i?!"
no twilight, i don't think you did.
>you look around once more suspiciously. nopony seems to be around. so onwards regardless of whatever the fuck just happened
anyway
>you take a seat at a booth a ways away from the littlest princess of the pony princess pride
you're at your favorite resturaunt, and you see a pony that you fancy. pretend that i'm this pony. what do you do? be realistic about your actions.
>she starts to walk over to you
>"well....i trot over confidently and i introduce mys-
no, twilight. you don't. what do you really do?
>she walks to a different booth and sits there dejectedly for a little while before speaking again
>"....i keep eating and glance hopefully every once in a while at you"
>another clicking noise
>there's now a triple order of hayburgers and fries in front of twilight
>she sees absolutely nothing wrong with food breaking the rules of reality and appearing before her
>and proceeds to stuff her face like it's going out of style

>what the fuck spiggles
twilight. ignoring the fact that we have no idea how the fuck that just happened, so you glance at me every now and then while i'm eating, yes?
>another click
>a cheeseburger appears in front of you
>you sniff at it suspiciously
>food doesn't serve itself to you very often
>HOLY SHIT THIS IS ACTUAL BEEF
>matching the twigglys eating habits you start eating as well
>you don't give a shit if it's poisoned
>been too long since you've had a burger
>after wolfing down half of it you get back to what you were doing
twilight. here's what you do when you see a pony you like in a resturaunt.
>she immediately stops eating and readies her handy dandy writing tools
grab all your food and walk over to me. not too excitedly, though.
>being sure to get every last morsel, twilight complies
take it from here, let's see what happens. remember, i'm a pony you like that's just eating some lunch.
>"uhm....hello, i'm twilight sparkle.
>awkward pause
>you shift a little in your seat
>because of the awkward moment
>not because you were sitting on your tail
>which wasn't pressing into your cooter at all
>"did you know that it takes 3 pounds of raw hay to make 10 hay burgers? hayburgers require quite a bit of vegetable oil to be held together while they're being cooked! not to mention the spices and herbs they add! standard hayburgers use about 1 teasp-
stop. twilight, stop.
>with a sheepish smile she ceases speaking and looks down at the floor
facts on hayburgers are interesting, dear...but you're standing there holding your food. wouldn't it be a little better to ask me to sit?
>furious scribbling from the princess of notes
>she points to the side of the booth opposite you
>"can i sit here?"
close, but no~
>for some reason she blushes
>weird
try asking a little more politely, twi
>"uhm......can i please sit here?"
closer, but still no cigar. try "do you mind if i sit here?"
>"alright"
>more scrawling
>"do you mind if i sit here?"

no, go ahead
>you smile at her and motion towards the seat
>she blushes as she sits
>AWW YEAH YOU'RE SO GOOD AT ROLEPLAYING SHE'S ALREADY IMMERSED
>you toss her an expectant look
>a slightly confused one is her reply
now what do you do?
>"...talk about hayburgers now?"
>this illicits a small giggle out of you
>you're still a little weirded out by your feminine voice
>no matter
>interrupting twilights array of small varied facial expressions, you correct her
try something a little less out of the blue. standard small talk. weather, hobbies, current going-ons, et cetera
>NOTES FOR THE NOTE GOD
>"hmm.....so....it's kind of cold outside, isn't it? a little colder than usual. i wonder why the pegasi made it so cold....how was that?"
perfect. yeah, it was a lot nicer last week. it was cold enough to be winter, but not as biting as it has been. maybe they're making up for it this week.
>"YOU WEREN'T HERE LAST WEEK! I SUMMONED YOU YESTERDAY!
>facehoof
twilight. we're pretending. i don't actually know what the weather was last week."
>another sheepish smile
>"sorry..."
>she looks you in the eyes
>and blushes more
>/hey, it smells like you're in estrus, want me to rut you senseless?/
hey, it sm-....smells good. what you've got. what did you get?
>fuck you mind demon
>the only response is cackling
>"yeah, this is my favorite! loaded hayburgers and hayfries with the special spices! i don't know what the special spices are but they're so good!
...can i try the fries?
>she levitates a couple fries over to you
>and into your face
>so polite
mmm...these are pretty good. i've never had hay fries before.
>"really? maybe we should come here togethe-..i mean more often, then!"
that sounds good, twi
>she beams at you
>which prompts a go on gesture from you
>this confuses the twilight
set a date and time, twi
>"oh!"
>SO MANY FUCKING NOTES
>"uh....how about next saturday at noon? i have a little bit of time in my schedule then."
that sounds good. i'll be there.