Blended (2014)

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♪ Fixed & Synced by
bozxphd.Enjoy The Flick ♪

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Yes. Uh-huh.

3
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I'm not kidding.

4
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That's where this
"class act" brought me.

5
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Yeah, you heard me. Hooters.

6
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This is the first date I've
been on since the divorce...

7
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and the guy brings
me to a Hooters.

8
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Is Tyler asleep?

9
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Oh, yeah! Whoo!

10
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- Not all the way.
- What's he doing?

11
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This T-shirt's on fire!

12
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Why is he singing that?

13
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Must save planet Earth.

14
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No, It's all good.

15
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- It's out.
- What's out?

16
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Oh, God, I'm coming home.

17
00:01:07,240 --> 00:01:08,805
Intruder alert.

18
00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,439
Yeah, maybe that's not
actually a bad idea.

19
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Okay, here's the plan: You're
gonna call me in 10 minutes...

20
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so that I can tell this
dope I have an emergency.

21
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Can you give me my bath now?

22
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Make it five minutes.

23
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Got you, uh, Buffalo shrimp
with the sauce on the side.

24
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They'll do that for me here. I
didn't know how you took it so...

25
00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:12,039
You realize that you're not actually
looking at my face right now.

26
00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,799
Very tight game going on there.
I don't wanna miss it.

27
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:19,085
You gotta really swing the ax hard
to get those, uh, hits in deep.

28
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- Hi, Jim.
- Hey, Jim.

29
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Hey, Jim.

30
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Cheese sticks in the
shape of a heart.

31
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From me, Bunny,
Bethany and Britney.

32
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Thank you, Bubbles.
That's very nice.

33
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- Have fun.
- See you.

34
00:02:33,480 --> 00:02:35,125
All right.

35
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Hey, I noticed that you made
eye contact with Boobies...

36
00:02:38,320 --> 00:02:41,285
but I'm not sure it was her
eyes you were looking at.

37
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So you organize
closets for a living.

38
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Yes.

39
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Is it hard to find people who can't organize
their own closets? How does that work?

40
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,279
Well, it's not that they
can't do it for themselves.

41
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It's that they don't have the time
or they don't do it efficiently.

42
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Did you start with organizing
glove compartments...

43
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and just work your way
up from there or...?

44
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Listen, I'm sorry. I know this
is not going well. I, heh...

45
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I haven't been on a
date in 20 years.

46
00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:24,119
I haven't been on a
date since senior year.

47
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:26,129
You get married in college?

48
00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,087
- Yep.
- Me too.

49
00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:30,799
- Really?
- Yes.

50
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Is this not the weirdest feeling
in the world right now?

51
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Like Weird Al starring
in Weird Science.

52
00:03:37,040 --> 00:03:40,847
Yes. I like that. You
just came up with that?

53
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:42,839
Yes.

54
00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,530
Very good.

55
00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:49,359
You know, I think I will have
one of these Buffalo shrimp.

56
00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,210
And I'll have it with the sauce.

57
00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:52,647
Excellent.

58
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Oh, my God.

59
00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:00,885
Oh.

60
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,439
- It's hot.
- Oh, my God. Who makes sauce this hot?

61
00:04:04,440 --> 00:04:05,799
I just...

62
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Did you drink my beer?

63
00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,159
No. No, no. I think you did.

64
00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,319
Boobies! Buddy! Britney!

65
00:04:11,320 --> 00:04:14,919
- Can you get me some water?
- Here. Have some French onion soup.

66
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,119
You know, I'm curious.

67
00:04:24,120 --> 00:04:26,199
With so many possible reasons...

68
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,609
which one's the one
your wife left you for?

69
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,490
Cancer.

70
00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:41,404
I'm sorry. I...

71
00:04:41,560 --> 00:04:45,242
naturally just assumed
you were divorced.

72
00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:47,199
It's okay.

73
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,919
I naturally assumed your
husband shot himself.

74
00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,929
So we're even.

75
00:04:55,280 --> 00:04:57,164
I gotta take this.

76
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Hello.

77
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Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down!

78
00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,479
An avalanche in our backyard?

79
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,444
I'll be home right away.

80
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,568
It's an emergency. I'm sorry.

81
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,527
Twenty dollars should
cover my half.

82
00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,919
He used the emergency
excuse on you?

83
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,559
Like he's the one
that had to escape.

84
00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:23,199
- Like I'm so horrible.
- Huh.

85
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:26,959
Well, everybody has a bad blind-date
story and this loser is yours.

86
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Who set you up?

87
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,839
One of the mothers
in Tyler's class.

88
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Every time I see her she tells
me about her "friend Jim."

89
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,519
And, "Oh, I just
have to meet Jim."

90
00:05:37,520 --> 00:05:39,599
Well, she's a liar and an idiot.

91
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,799
You should roofie her
and shave her head.

92
00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:47,242
Dick? Hi.

93
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,919
- No, I can talk. I'm just at work.
- Great.

94
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,202
Ha, ha. I know. I'm so sore.

95
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,484
I L word you too.

96
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:02,767
Okay. Talk to you later. Bye.

97
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:08,439
Did you just use the
L word with Dick?

98
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,199
We said it last night.

99
00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:13,799
Jen! That's great! Why
didn't you tell me?

100
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:17,639
Well, you know. You finally went
on a date and it was so awful.

101
00:06:17,640 --> 00:06:21,079
I didn't want to make you feel lonelier
than you probably already feel.

102
00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:23,559
I'm fine, actually.
And I'm not lonely.

103
00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:26,159
I have two wonderful
men in my life:

104
00:06:26,160 --> 00:06:27,964
Brendan and Tyler.

105
00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:31,039
Brendan needs a girlfriend
and Tyler needs Ritalin.

106
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:35,799
You're suggesting sex and drugs as a
remedy for my children's behavior.

107
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:39,799
Aah. Oh, my God. This is the
dress I've been wanting forever.

108
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:41,079
Ooh.

109
00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:43,519
What? No.

110
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- Who has that kind of money?
- Dick.

111
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Try this on. This is
a total MILF dress.

112
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We don't try on the clients' clothes.
It's one of our selling points.

113
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"We won't wear your underwear while
we're organizing your closets."

114
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I'm just saying.

115
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Back to work.

116
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I think right at the bottom of this rack,
we could fit some more shoes and storage...

117
00:07:03,560 --> 00:07:04,839
Jen!

118
00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:08,119
Kanye, come and change the baby.

119
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:11,639
North is wet and I don't wanna
drop her on camera again.

120
00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:15,799
Okay. Take it off.

121
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,279
No! Look, this whole rack
still has the price tags on.

122
00:07:19,280 --> 00:07:23,359
Technically, she hasn't taken ownership
yet. And besides, she's at the tennis club.

123
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,199
Now, try this on.

124
00:07:25,200 --> 00:07:28,639
This dress can change a woman
from the kind a man cheats on...

125
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:30,599
to the kind a man cheats with.

126
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,011
I'm gonna go pee.

127
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:43,559
Expensive. Expensive.

128
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,649
Ooh, most expensive.

129
00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:57,246
Wow. I didn't know you were
gonna look that good in it.

130
00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,399
Oh, honey, what's wrong?

131
00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:03,759
I should have tried harder.

132
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:06,919
I should have dressed sexier.

133
00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,203
You didn't do anything wrong.
Mark is a pig.

134
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,559
But the kids don't know that.

135
00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:15,206
Agh. They just...

136
00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:17,839
They want us to get
back together.

137
00:08:17,840 --> 00:08:20,159
And I don't know how
to explain it to them.

138
00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:24,119
Well, it's time for them to learn
that their dad is a big pile of crap.

139
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:28,519
I get so depressed I need
to wear high, sexy heels.

140
00:08:28,520 --> 00:08:31,041
- Stop jogging.
- It helps.

141
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:33,079
It's freaking me out.

142
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,599
Look at me. I'm ridiculous.

143
00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,246
Come here. Come here.

144
00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:43,328
- Jen's got you.
- Now I see why they call you "Closet Queens."

145
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,799
- Instagram.
- Facebook.

146
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,161
- Yes!
- Yes!

147
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:54,239
It was awful, man. There
was no connection at all.

148
00:08:54,240 --> 00:08:57,039
I was so happy when you came
up with the avalanche thing.

149
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,799
- That saved my life.
- Ha-ha-ha.

150
00:08:58,800 --> 00:09:02,159
And the way she dressed was like an
assistant principal or something.

151
00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:03,850
I felt like I was in detention.

152
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:06,599
- I got a girl for you.
- Yeah?

153
00:09:06,600 --> 00:09:08,848
Blond lady. From my
belly-dancing class.

154
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,845
A little bit on the plus size.

155
00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:14,119
But when she gets to moving, all
that flapping can make it happen.

156
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:16,599
- No good.
- That big girl would hit that Hooters...

157
00:09:16,600 --> 00:09:20,725
like a hurricane. Agh! Chicken. Steak.
Fries. And a Diet Coke.

158
00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:22,851
- All right! Gotcha!
- Ha-ha-ha.

159
00:09:23,240 --> 00:09:25,359
I'm out, man. No
more dating for me.

160
00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,799
It's time and money I should
be spending with my kids.

161
00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,809
Look who it is.

162
00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,759
Hey, Larry!

163
00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:33,559
My all-star! Give me some.

164
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:36,445
It's Hilary, Dad,
which is bad enough.

165
00:09:36,560 --> 00:09:38,171
You gonna leave me hanging?

166
00:09:39,040 --> 00:09:40,639
Boom. Guess what?

167
00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:42,639
The new Kodiak tents
just arrived.

168
00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,330
In time for spring break.

169
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,279
We're going camping in our
back yard again this year?

170
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,891
Why? You too old for that?

171
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:52,039
No. It's just some kids in my
class are going to Florida...

172
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,323
or to Colorado or
even Switzerland.

173
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,119
You got a lot of rich
kids in your school.

174
00:09:58,120 --> 00:10:01,927
- We don't got that kind of money.
- I know. It'd just be nice to go someplace.

175
00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:06,159
You know where you could
take her that's cheap?

176
00:10:06,160 --> 00:10:08,362
My belly-dancing class.

177
00:10:08,520 --> 00:10:10,882
Oh. Put that away. Seriously.

178
00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:17,522
Excuse me, sir? I'm here to
pick up my basketball uniform.

179
00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:19,330
Did you just call me "sir"?

180
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:22,684
- Yeah.
- I'm a girl.

181
00:10:26,120 --> 00:10:27,879
That's one fugly girl.

182
00:10:27,880 --> 00:10:29,559
Hey, man, that's his daughter.

183
00:10:29,560 --> 00:10:31,079
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

184
00:10:31,080 --> 00:10:32,770
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Mm.

185
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,239
Hey, honey, how's the
math homework coming?

186
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,363
Are any of the tutor's
shortcuts helping?

187
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,606
Did you go on a date?

188
00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,479
A date? Who told you
I went on a date?

189
00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,889
You should really change your e-mail
password, little Miss 072099.

190
00:10:47,640 --> 00:10:50,559
That is the last time I use
your birthday as a password.

191
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:53,159
I can't believe you
read my e-mails.

192
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,999
Brendan, I love you...

193
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,682
but we have to learn to respect
each other's privacy in this house.

194
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,559
Who's Jim?

195
00:11:00,560 --> 00:11:03,799
Nobody, honey. A buffoon.

196
00:11:03,800 --> 00:11:06,439
Trust me. It was nothing.

197
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,799
- You promise?
- Promise.

198
00:11:10,240 --> 00:11:12,559
Hey! No wheels in the house!

199
00:11:12,560 --> 00:11:14,199
- I've told you this!
- Aah!

200
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:15,759
Tackle him, Mom! Get him!

201
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:18,279
Did your dad take you for
ice cream on the way home?

202
00:11:18,280 --> 00:11:20,439
- Spank him!
- Rocky Road and mint chocolate chip!

203
00:11:20,440 --> 00:11:23,439
- Take him to the ground!
- I'm on top of the world! Goose, goose!

204
00:11:24,920 --> 00:11:26,999
- Yeah.
- You're dead!

205
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:29,399
No more titty twisters, guys!

206
00:11:29,400 --> 00:11:32,159
You only have two titties
for the rest of your lives!

207
00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,170
We need to learn to
love and respect them.

208
00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:36,767
I always did.

209
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,119
How many times
have I told you...

210
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,439
not to pump him full of sugar
before you drop him off?

211
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,159
Oh, come on. Going out with
Dad for an ice cream cone...

212
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:46,879
is a lasting memory for a kid.

213
00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:50,439
Oh, okay. Well, if Dad spent
more time with him...

214
00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:53,279
then the memories wouldn't
have to be so "lasting."

215
00:11:53,280 --> 00:11:55,239
Boom, zing. Got me again.

216
00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:58,171
It's so great spending
time with you, Lauren.

217
00:11:58,640 --> 00:11:59,966
That doesn't go there.

218
00:12:02,240 --> 00:12:03,679
What are we gonna do?

219
00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:07,319
Oh. Oh, man! It's gonna
explode in 3, 2...

220
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:08,521
Oh, thank God.

221
00:12:09,240 --> 00:12:13,081
That was close. It was almost
unorganized for a minute.

222
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:14,999
- Hi.
- How are you?

223
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,439
Good. Are you going to
Tyler's game on Saturday?

224
00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,371
- Yes! Of course!
- Great. I'm putting you down.

225
00:12:20,600 --> 00:12:22,479
It's what you do best.

226
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:25,559
On the board, Mark.
On the board.

227
00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:29,003
Lauren, the boys don't need a board.
They don't need a list.

228
00:12:29,160 --> 00:12:31,799
The know they can count on me.
That's it.

229
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:33,919
Dad, can you help me
with my homework?

230
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:37,879
Oh, I can't, bud! Sorry! I gotta
go to a thing! Ask your mom!

231
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,048
This is not an example
of my behavior.

232
00:12:41,520 --> 00:12:43,006
Did you leave?

233
00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:52,439
No, oh, oh I'll never
be that girl again

234
00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,239
No, oh, oh

235
00:12:54,240 --> 00:12:57,359
My innocence is wearin' thin

236
00:12:57,360 --> 00:13:00,439
But my heart is growin' strong

237
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:05,799
So call me, call me, call me

238
00:13:05,800 --> 00:13:11,000
Miss movin' on Oh, oh, oh

239
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,608
- Larry, wanna shoot some hoops?
- Dad!

240
00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,719
- Oh!
- Aah!

241
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:23,319
- Stop! Get Out!
- Oh!

242
00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:24,999
Why wouldn't you knock?

243
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,119
I'm sorry, honey! I
didn't see anything!

244
00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:28,999
Oh, thanks a lot!

245
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,479
No, no, no!

246
00:13:30,480 --> 00:13:32,839
There was plenty
of stuff to see!

247
00:13:32,840 --> 00:13:34,079
Uh...

248
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,204
I mean, I didn't see
any gelling going on!

249
00:13:37,920 --> 00:13:40,282
- How about a fist bump?
- No!

250
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:44,410
Larry, we both need
this fist bump.

251
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:51,490
We're cool.

252
00:14:02,080 --> 00:14:04,328
Hey, how we doing in here?

253
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:05,806
I'm talking to Mom.

254
00:14:05,960 --> 00:14:08,640
Great. What are you
guys talking about?

255
00:14:09,320 --> 00:14:11,124
It's girl stuff.

256
00:14:12,440 --> 00:14:15,928
Okay. Well, just so you know, I'm
pretty good with girl stuff too.

257
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,445
Excuse me for a second.

258
00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:22,319
Thanks, Dad.

259
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,284
But I just wanna talk to Mom.

260
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,361
Sure, sure.

261
00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:27,931
Say hi for me.

262
00:14:31,400 --> 00:14:33,439
I'm all out of stickers.

263
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:36,879
You're all out of face.
What happened to you? Ugh.

264
00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,764
Can I play with Espn now?

265
00:14:38,920 --> 00:14:41,122
Espn is having her quiet time.

266
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,445
Oh. With Invincible Mommy?

267
00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:46,211
"Invisible." Yes.

268
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,999
It's not fair only
Espn gets to see her.

269
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,439
I know.

270
00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,279
I wish I could see her.

271
00:14:52,280 --> 00:14:53,766
Me too.

272
00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:54,959
Come here. Mm.

273
00:15:00,480 --> 00:15:02,762
Eh, eh?

274
00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:04,479
Mac and cheese?

275
00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,119
- Mac and cheese.
- Yeah!

276
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,639
I mean, he's looking around here.
Looking for you.

277
00:15:16,640 --> 00:15:19,679
You knew it was today. I
published the calendar.

278
00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:23,319
Laur, the meeting went longer than
expected. What do you want from me?

279
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:27,399
You know what? I just want you to be a dad!
I can't take it!

280
00:15:27,400 --> 00:15:30,999
Why don't you hop over to the snack
bar, see if they sell any chill pills.

281
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,489
"Chill pills"? Why don't you
"bust a move" back to 1990.

282
00:15:36,960 --> 00:15:38,889
You're at a baseball game?

283
00:15:39,200 --> 00:15:41,519
I'm going on a mystery
trip with Dick.

284
00:15:41,520 --> 00:15:42,679
That's so great.

285
00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,479
I have no idea where we're going.
He's so much fun.

286
00:15:45,480 --> 00:15:47,091
I'm so excited!

287
00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:52,044
Now batting, number
23, Tyler Reynolds.

288
00:15:52,200 --> 00:15:55,559
Okay! Come on! Go Tyler! Whoo!

289
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:58,159
- Come on, Tyler!
- They're putting this kid in?

290
00:15:58,160 --> 00:16:01,119
League rule. Every kid
has to play two innings.

291
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,526
Even kids like him.

292
00:16:02,800 --> 00:16:04,959
- You shut your piehole.
- I'll kick your ass!

293
00:16:04,960 --> 00:16:08,721
- Or I'll stuff my entire fist in your mouth!
- Burt Reynolds scrawny reject!

294
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:12,090
Hey, how old is that pitcher?
He looks like a NASCAR driver.

295
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,359
- Strike!
- Come on!

296
00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:23,239
It's okay, buddy! Shake it off!
It's okay!

297
00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:26,159
Oh, no. He's not gonna have
one of his meltdowns, is he?

298
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:29,119
No. He has two more swings.
It's gonna be okay.

299
00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:32,399
Okay. I better go now, then. Oh,
by the way, I need a week off.

300
00:16:32,400 --> 00:16:34,399
Oh, yeah, sure.
When's the vacation?

301
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:35,965
Two weeks from today.

302
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:37,919
Wait. No. That's not gonna work.

303
00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:41,249
Because that's spring break and
I've gotta take care of the boys.

304
00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:44,199
- Strike two!
- Why?

305
00:16:44,200 --> 00:16:46,239
It's okay, cutie, you got this!

306
00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:48,363
Check out what happens
when this kid strikes out.

307
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:51,919
- You have been warned, Ratso!
- One more comment and it is go time!

308
00:16:51,920 --> 00:16:54,122
- I will crush you!
- So checkity check it!

309
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:58,119
I thought Mark was taking the
kids whitewater rafting.

310
00:16:58,120 --> 00:16:59,879
Oh, shocker. He canceled.

311
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:01,439
Business trip.

312
00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:05,119
Now I'm racking my brain trying to
figure out how to compete with that.

313
00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:06,839
You won't. There's no time.

314
00:17:06,840 --> 00:17:08,959
And why should we
both stay at home?

315
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:12,289
You are the bestest
business partner ever. Heh.

316
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,519
- Strike three!
- I hate this!

317
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,599
I hate this! I hate this!
I suck!

318
00:17:17,600 --> 00:17:18,926
No.

319
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,081
Oh, boy. Here we go again.

320
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:27,447
Oh, God.

321
00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:29,484
Maybe you should try badminton.

322
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,319
- Maybe you should try mouthwash!
- And deodorant!

323
00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:36,439
- And some testosterone supplement!
- And some Cialis!

324
00:17:36,440 --> 00:17:38,290
I'm just assuming!

325
00:17:38,840 --> 00:17:41,042
And shave your neck!

326
00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,405
It's very hairy.

327
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,079
God.

328
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,206
What?

329
00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,245
Ugh.

330
00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:55,161
No.

331
00:19:05,880 --> 00:19:07,491
Damn it.

332
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,083
Rip that little loop off the back
of your shirt. And Step Three...

333
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,799
- Daddy?
- Yes.

334
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,651
What do you miss about Mommy?

335
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:20,444
What do I miss about Mommy?

336
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,805
Hmm.

337
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,247
Everything.

338
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,251
I miss her laugh.

339
00:19:28,520 --> 00:19:30,245
And her smile.

340
00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:34,239
And I miss her little nose
that she gave to you.

341
00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,919
Luckily you didn't get mine.
You'd look very weird.

342
00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,039
- Heh.
- Yeah.

343
00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,961
I miss every time The
Wizard of Oz was on.

344
00:19:43,280 --> 00:19:45,599
- I love that movie.
- I know.

345
00:19:45,600 --> 00:19:47,599
She would sing all
the songs to us.

346
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:50,565
Especially "Somewhere
Over the Rainbow."

347
00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,607
You know what I miss
most about her?

348
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,565
What?

349
00:19:57,040 --> 00:19:59,846
Getting to tell her
how much I love her.

350
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:05,370
Are you allowed to do
that with anyone else?

351
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,048
Am I allowed?

352
00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,883
Your mother, before she left...

353
00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:17,802
that's all she would talk about,
was me finding somebody else.

354
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:23,165
But I would tell her I can't
because she's my one and only.

355
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,644
What did Mommy say?

356
00:20:27,120 --> 00:20:29,199
Your mom would say...

357
00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:34,167
my heart is so big that
it has room for two.

358
00:20:35,160 --> 00:20:38,409
That's another thing I
miss about your mother.

359
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:41,804
She actually thought
I was awesome.

360
00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,002
I think you're awesome, Daddy.

361
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:49,519
Thank you.

362
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,279
Hey, Dad? Um...

363
00:20:51,280 --> 00:20:54,999
I have a personal errand to run,
and I need to borrow the car.

364
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:56,999
Well, you can't drive
without me yet...

365
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,719
and somebody's got to stay
here with your sisters.

366
00:20:59,720 --> 00:21:03,119
Dad, I have a personal errand.

367
00:21:03,120 --> 00:21:06,679
What does that even mean? You
taking a hit out on somebody?

368
00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,531
Dad, she's monsterating.

369
00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,999
- What?
- I have my period!

370
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,204
Oh. I forgot you get those.

371
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,369
"Tampax Pearls."

372
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,879
Douches. "Fresh Scent."

373
00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:25,119
"Medicated" and "Sweet Romance."

374
00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:29,689
Yeah, let's not be doing the
Sweet Romance douches quite yet.

375
00:21:30,360 --> 00:21:32,562
"Poise Feminine Wash."

376
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:35,407
"Poise"? That's a
little close, guys.

377
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,565
"Always Clean"?

378
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:40,846
I could actually use those.
Uh...

379
00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:44,930
What's a Diva Cup? Is
that to make coffee?

380
00:21:45,280 --> 00:21:46,970
I don't under...

381
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,609
What kind do you guys use?

382
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,930
Huh.

383
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,360
- No!
- Hi.

384
00:22:11,920 --> 00:22:13,645
Don't tell me.

385
00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,124
- Lauren.
- Lauren.

386
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:18,039
Mr. Hooters.

387
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:19,519
Jim.

388
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:22,963
What's going on in the sweater?
Just for the articles?

389
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:27,802
No. These, um, actually
are for my son.

390
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,971
Wow. What a progressive mother.

391
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:36,644
No. I found a centerfold under
his bed, and I tore it up.

392
00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:39,519
From a magazine,
not the Internet?

393
00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,719
He's old school. I respect that.

394
00:22:41,720 --> 00:22:43,285
Why'd you tear it up?

395
00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:46,000
Because as a woman I
was totally offended.

396
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:49,245
You don't have to be. It's a
normal part of growing up.

397
00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:55,399
Okay, but he taped a picture of
our babysitter's face on it.

398
00:22:55,400 --> 00:22:58,559
Okay, that's sick.
He needs help.

399
00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,359
Borderline Dahmer situation.

400
00:23:00,360 --> 00:23:03,439
Oh, very funny. Okay, but if you
had kids you'd understand...

401
00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,802
- Three daughters.
- ...it's complicated.

402
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,599
You have three daughters?

403
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,771
Yes. Do you have any other
children, or just the masturbator?

404
00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:14,239
He has a younger brother.

405
00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:16,602
Uh-huh. Maybe you'll do a
better job with that kid.

406
00:23:17,200 --> 00:23:21,200
I'm just joking. So what, you're here
to replace it before the kid finds out?

407
00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:25,879
Yes. But I can't tell what
magazine it's from. I just...

408
00:23:25,880 --> 00:23:28,367
Do you have any of the
centerfold remnants?

409
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,771
Yes, I do.

410
00:23:34,560 --> 00:23:38,399
I, um... I tried to
tape it back up.

411
00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:40,602
Did a great job. You
can hardly tell.

412
00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:45,919
Snapper magazine.

413
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:47,119
How can you tell?

414
00:23:47,120 --> 00:23:50,319
From the staple placement and
the way the paper feels...

415
00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:53,729
and I already have this copy at home.
How about a fist bump? Huh?

416
00:23:55,000 --> 00:23:56,690
Ah.

417
00:23:57,280 --> 00:23:59,130
- Yep, that's the one.
- Great.

418
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:03,679
Excuse me. Actually, I thought of
something that might help us both...

419
00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,199
to save us some embarrassment.

420
00:24:06,200 --> 00:24:10,007
How about I bring that up to the
cashier, and you bring this up for me.

421
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:14,159
- Whoa. Are these for your daughter?
- Yeah. She's 15.

422
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:16,931
And her "friend"
just paid a visit.

423
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,399
Okay. Well, these are for
a much older "friend."

424
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:25,639
A much heavier "friend" staying
in a much bigger "room"...

425
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,729
than your daughter has.

426
00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:29,999
You lost me.

427
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,519
You found me. Oh.

428
00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:33,799
- Can I get a bump?
- No.

429
00:24:33,800 --> 00:24:35,570
No.

430
00:24:37,640 --> 00:24:39,639
Okay. So you will do this.

431
00:24:39,640 --> 00:24:41,039
That'll be $13.

432
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,765
Hi, I'm Tom.

433
00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:46,240
- Here's your change.
- Hi, I'm Tom.

434
00:24:46,360 --> 00:24:48,688
Yeah, you told me. Next.

435
00:24:51,040 --> 00:24:52,639
Oh.

436
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:55,199
I remember the Slender Fit days.

437
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:57,084
You must be doing your Kegels.

438
00:24:57,360 --> 00:25:00,803
Nowadays, I need six of
these taped together.

439
00:25:01,160 --> 00:25:02,885
Okay. Moving on.

440
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,929
And we got...

441
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:08,081
that and card.

442
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,199
Rockin' Saturday
night, huh, Lefty?

443
00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:14,165
Oh, that's not mine.
That's for her kid.

444
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,729
Ooh, pretty progressive mom.

445
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:20,519
- Yeah. That's what I said to her too.
- Why would you do that?

446
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,799
- I'm sorry. I'll get you out of it.
- What is wrong with you?

447
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:27,482
She just takes her homeschooling
real serious, so that's why...

448
00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:30,086
We get those back?

449
00:25:30,200 --> 00:25:34,166
She's gotta get home to the
kid and get him going.

450
00:25:34,920 --> 00:25:37,407
- Take care.
- Yeah.

451
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:39,570
Hi, I'm Tom.

452
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:43,119
Ugh, thanks a lot for
selling me out back there.

453
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,999
Oh, she didn't
even hear about...

454
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,639
- I panicked. I'm sorry. Here.
- Oh, I noticed.

455
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:48,799
Thank you.

456
00:25:48,800 --> 00:25:52,129
I can't believe you
have three girls.

457
00:25:52,320 --> 00:25:56,320
- What does that even mean?
- I just can't imagine you with three girls.

458
00:25:56,321 --> 00:25:57,521
Don't, then.

459
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:01,327
I'm sorry. What are their names?

460
00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:04,571
Hilary, Lou and Espn.

461
00:26:05,040 --> 00:26:07,479
- "Espin." That's unique.
- Mm-hm.

462
00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:08,841
Is it Biblical?

463
00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,763
No. Named after my
favorite network.

464
00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,479
ESPN.

465
00:26:21,480 --> 00:26:23,239
- No.
- Yep.

466
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,999
- What?
- Heh.

467
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,239
Pretty cool.

468
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,039
Oh, my God.

469
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,891
Your wife must
have been a saint.

470
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:32,999
She was.

471
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,568
Your husband must have been
very patient dealing with...

472
00:26:37,280 --> 00:26:38,839
Ah.

473
00:26:38,840 --> 00:26:43,119
Another charming sentiment
from Captain Cheese Sticks.

474
00:26:43,120 --> 00:26:46,439
You know what? Hooters is too good for you.
I'd never bring you there again.

475
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:50,479
Well, then I guess I'll just have to learn
to get through life without Hooters.

476
00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:53,251
You've been doing a pretty
damn good job so far!

477
00:26:54,680 --> 00:26:58,601
- That doesn't make any sense.
- I didn't realize they were that big.

478
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:06,883
Oh, whatever.

479
00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:20,039
Guys, unfortunately your dad had
a business trip that came up...

480
00:27:20,040 --> 00:27:24,119
so your whitewater rafting trip is
gonna get postponed till this summer.

481
00:27:24,120 --> 00:27:26,799
- What?
- We're stuck here doing nothing all week?

482
00:27:26,800 --> 00:27:29,719
I have plans. I have
great plans actually.

483
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,810
Like what? Bowling and
going to the mall?

484
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,199
How did you know?

485
00:27:35,520 --> 00:27:38,291
- Bet that's Dad!
- Maybe he'll take us on his business trip!

486
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:44,439
- Oh, hey. Is your mom home?
- What do you mean "Is your mom home"?

487
00:27:44,440 --> 00:27:46,961
- Who are you?
- I'm Jim.

488
00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:51,086
akumenang.com

489
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:54,159
What is this, Dateline NBC?
Yes, you got it right.

490
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:56,599
- What do you want?
- I need to talk to your mother.

491
00:27:56,600 --> 00:27:59,439
- Not a big deal.
- She said she's not interested in you.

492
00:27:59,440 --> 00:28:03,599
Believe me, Frodo, I don't like her either.
I have to sort something out with her.

493
00:28:03,600 --> 00:28:06,963
- Brendan, honey, who's at the...?
- Hey.

494
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,839
- Jim.
- You lied! Liar! You like him!

495
00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:13,599
What? I didn't lie, honey.
He's a buffoon.

496
00:28:13,600 --> 00:28:15,519
- Just like I said.
- Don't talk to me!

497
00:28:15,520 --> 00:28:16,759
Ever!

498
00:28:16,760 --> 00:28:19,645
No, sweetie, come on.

499
00:28:20,760 --> 00:28:23,199
- What?
- Great.

500
00:28:23,200 --> 00:28:25,239
Which one was the masturbator?
The big one?

501
00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:27,799
Why are you here?
What do you want?

502
00:28:27,800 --> 00:28:30,439
The old bag at the pharmacy
mixed up our cards.

503
00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,239
That's impossible because I
keep my cards very organized.

504
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,959
I keep them in
color-coded sleeves...

505
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:38,559
All right, I'll give this back to
whoever it belongs to. Lauren Reynolds.

506
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,684
- You know her? Have you met her?
- Oh.

507
00:28:41,760 --> 00:28:46,170
God, I don't know what's wrong with me
lately. I feel like I'm losing my mind.

508
00:28:46,400 --> 00:28:47,839
Just come in.

509
00:28:47,840 --> 00:28:50,439
So wait. How do you
know where I live?

510
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:54,079
I Googled you and "Closet
Queens" came up.

511
00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,204
- You're a lesbian?
- No.

512
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:03,319
We organize "closets" and we're
the best, so we're "queens."

513
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,681
"Closet Queens."

514
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:07,447
Maybe the picture
was confusing me.

515
00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:09,041
What picture?

516
00:29:12,240 --> 00:29:14,519
Ugh, those little weasels.

517
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,199
Your girlfriend, like, does
she know we went on a date?

518
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,359
Is she gonna kill me?
She looks nuts.

519
00:29:19,360 --> 00:29:21,039
- Lauren!
- Well, here she is.

520
00:29:21,040 --> 00:29:25,839
- I have to talk to you!
- I never touched her. She repulses me.

521
00:29:25,840 --> 00:29:27,519
- What?
- What?

522
00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:28,839
Jen, what's wrong?

523
00:29:28,840 --> 00:29:31,839
- It's over between me and Dick.
- Over?

524
00:29:31,840 --> 00:29:33,849
I thought you don't like dick.

525
00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:36,959
But you guys just started
using the L word.

526
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:40,279
The L Word. I saw that show. You
guys love that one I'm guessing.

527
00:29:40,280 --> 00:29:42,919
I'm sorry. Who are you? Are
you here to fix something?

528
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:46,283
- You should probably go and do that.
- I'm Jim. I'm not a threat.

529
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,879
- Jim?
- The blind-date guy.

530
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,839
- You said that was a disaster.
- Oh, it was.

531
00:29:52,840 --> 00:29:54,679
You said he was a chubby loser.

532
00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:55,879
He is.

533
00:29:55,880 --> 00:30:00,399
You didn't mention he has that high phlegmy
voice like he drinks a lot of dairy.

534
00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:02,239
- I know.
- Standing right here, ladies.

535
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,559
Hearing everything.

536
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:06,799
All right, our cards got switched
so we're just dealing with that.

537
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:08,479
What happened with Dick?

538
00:30:08,480 --> 00:30:10,799
He just dropped a
major bomb on me.

539
00:30:10,800 --> 00:30:12,239
He's married.

540
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:15,011
No, worse. He's got kids.

541
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:21,160
Oh, you're still here. Why?

542
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,239
You still have my card. "Why?"

543
00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:29,039
Wait. You're just gonna break up
with him because he has children?

544
00:30:29,040 --> 00:30:32,239
Five children. Five.

545
00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:33,839
What am I, Julie Andrews?

546
00:30:33,840 --> 00:30:37,203
I'm gonna sew matching outfits
and sing to escape the Nazis?

547
00:30:37,560 --> 00:30:40,199
He asked me if I wanted
to be "part of the team."

548
00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:43,439
- No, I don't!
- Maybe you should just go on the trip...

549
00:30:43,440 --> 00:30:46,371
and, you know, spend some
alone time with Dick.

550
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:48,439
See, he wanted the
kids to come with us.

551
00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:51,919
He wanted me to get to know them in
a "fun and neutral environment."

552
00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,283
Eh, five kids? Is his
last name Theodopolis?

553
00:30:55,520 --> 00:30:58,326
- Yes.
- That's incredible. That's my boss.

554
00:30:58,560 --> 00:31:02,879
He owns all the Dick's Sporting Goods.
I manage the one in Ridgefield.

555
00:31:02,880 --> 00:31:05,082
Of course you do.

556
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:09,359
Dick takes a lot of special needs people,
makes them "managers" of something...

557
00:31:09,360 --> 00:31:12,131
so they can have a business
card and feel important.

558
00:31:12,520 --> 00:31:13,919
Good for you!

559
00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:16,279
That explains it.
That explains a lot.

560
00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,039
You know, actually I applied
to work at Closet Queens...

561
00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:22,279
but they said there's already a
gorilla filling that position.

562
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:25,239
It's a thyroid thing.

563
00:31:25,240 --> 00:31:27,959
- Heh.
- Where was he gonna take you?

564
00:31:27,960 --> 00:31:29,321
Africa.

565
00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:31,639
It was gonna be incredible.
Look at that.

566
00:31:31,640 --> 00:31:34,319
- Sun, sand, safaris.
- Wow.

567
00:31:34,320 --> 00:31:37,490
- Oh, my God.
- He must really like you a lot.

568
00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,319
Sorry, I'm not
getting it at all.

569
00:31:40,320 --> 00:31:42,807
Okay. And this concludes
our business.

570
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,719
Thank you. Africa.

571
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:49,319
So he's just gonna go here all
by himself with his kids now?

572
00:31:49,320 --> 00:31:53,239
No. He's heartbroken now.
Nobody gets to go.

573
00:31:53,240 --> 00:31:54,771
Oh, damn it!

574
00:31:55,280 --> 00:31:59,199
Why does he have to have joint custody? I
thought the mother always got the kids.

575
00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:02,679
I mean, this is a week away. I
hope he gets his money back.

576
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:05,439
- A week out? Not a chance.
- Aah!

577
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:07,879
Well, maybe they do things
differently in Africa.

578
00:32:07,880 --> 00:32:11,279
I forgot you were an expert at
closets and African refund policies.

579
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,768
Okay. Kick him out. Don't let
him talk to you like that.

580
00:32:14,880 --> 00:32:16,969
- Get out.
- I'm leaving.

581
00:32:17,400 --> 00:32:22,959
Jen. My boys would give anything
to go on a vacation like this.

582
00:32:22,960 --> 00:32:25,479
Mr. Theodopolis. Hi.
It's Jim Friedman.

583
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:30,959
I don't mean to be a vulture picking on
the carcass of your dead relationship.

584
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,279
But I wonder...

585
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:34,199
if you'd sell me the vacation...

586
00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:36,839
you were gonna go on with
Freddy Krueger's sister?

587
00:32:36,840 --> 00:32:40,639
I have been saving and saving. I could
never give him full value for it...

588
00:32:40,640 --> 00:32:42,799
but something's better
than nothing, right, sir?

589
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,519
It would just be
the three of us.

590
00:32:44,520 --> 00:32:47,199
It would just be the four of
us so we only need one room.

591
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,839
Oh, my God. Wait until
I tell the boys.

592
00:32:50,840 --> 00:32:53,039
Wait till I tell the girls!

593
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,279
We're going to Africa!

594
00:33:09,040 --> 00:33:11,599
Welcome to Africa

595
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,689
Welcome, welcome

596
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,759
I can't believe we're here.

597
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:17,479
This is pretty cool, Mom.

598
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:18,839
Yeah.

599
00:33:18,840 --> 00:33:22,559
Welcome, welcome,
welcome, welcome

600
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:27,399
So I did good? This is better
than, like, bowling and the mall?

601
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:29,170
Oh, yeah.

602
00:33:32,280 --> 00:33:38,919
- Welcome, welcome
- Africa!

603
00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,679
Thank you so much. Thank you.
This is terrific. This is great.

604
00:33:42,680 --> 00:33:44,039
What the fu...?

605
00:33:44,040 --> 00:33:46,879
- Brendan!
- What the fudge is he doing here?

606
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:50,599
We're going on family
vacations together now?

607
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:54,486
I have no idea why they
followed us to Africa.

608
00:33:57,760 --> 00:33:59,007
Whoa, whoa, whoa.

609
00:34:00,040 --> 00:34:03,239
Is this a sick dream? What
is happening right now?

610
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,639
You're stalking my mom!
You're a predator!

611
00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:08,759
Hey! Don't talk to my dad
like that, butthole!

612
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:11,279
- Language!
- How about you don't correct my daughter?

613
00:34:11,280 --> 00:34:13,439
She can say "butthole"
if she wants to.

614
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:15,079
- Butthole! Butthole!
- Not you.

615
00:34:15,080 --> 00:34:18,841
I hear thunder on the mountain.
Ha-ha-ha.

616
00:34:19,720 --> 00:34:23,527
Welcome to South Africa.
Mfana at your service.

617
00:34:23,720 --> 00:34:24,919
Mfana.

618
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:28,319
Uh, Jim. I mean, Dick.

619
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:29,959
Dick Theodopolis.

620
00:34:29,960 --> 00:34:31,599
Welcome, Dick Theodopolis!

621
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:36,442
And you are traveling with one
little girl and two, uh...

622
00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:42,410
- Big girls.
- Ha-ha-ha. Of course.

623
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,841
And you must be...

624
00:34:43,880 --> 00:34:45,079
Miss Palmer.

625
00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,519
Yes. Jen Palmer.

626
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,119
Oh, I see what you did.

627
00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:50,959
I see what you did too.

628
00:34:50,960 --> 00:34:55,199
Are you ready for the most exciting,
amazing, and romantic week...

629
00:34:55,200 --> 00:34:57,279
of your entire lives?

630
00:34:57,280 --> 00:35:00,529
Exciting, amazing, romantic!

631
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:05,368
Yeah, we're here for the
zero romance package.

632
00:35:05,480 --> 00:35:08,159
You still haven't told the
children, my friends?

633
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:09,599
Told the children what?

634
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:11,919
- Do I have a new mommy?
- Mfana.

635
00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,519
Will you do us a favor? Leave
us alone for just two secs.

636
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,199
- Which means "of course."
- Thank you.

637
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,079
All right. Listen. Would you just
reassure my son that we're not dating.

638
00:35:23,080 --> 00:35:25,639
We are not dating!
I promise you.

639
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:28,889
This is not a face I want to
wake up to every morning.

640
00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,559
Wow.

641
00:35:30,560 --> 00:35:33,799
You'd be lucky to wake up to that
every day. My mom is frigging hot.

642
00:35:33,800 --> 00:35:35,639
Did you just say
your mom was hot?

643
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,279
No! Not hot...!

644
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:39,369
That's just wrong.

645
00:35:39,440 --> 00:35:41,919
- Tyler! Tyler!
- Whoo!

646
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:43,839
- Get down from there!
- Wee!

647
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:47,399
Oh, God! Please, please,
please, please get down!

648
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,887
- Whoo!
- Aah!

649
00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,439
This place is ginormous!

650
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:53,759
Oh, my God!

651
00:35:53,760 --> 00:35:56,486
Follow me. Right this way.

652
00:35:57,080 --> 00:35:59,919
Welcome to your familymoon.

653
00:35:59,920 --> 00:36:01,201
Whoa.

654
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,808
This is so cool.

655
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,199
Now we're talking!
This is Africa, baby!

656
00:36:07,200 --> 00:36:08,439
We'll take this room.

657
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,639
No! We want this room.

658
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:15,129
Silly Theocropolises!
This is for the children.

659
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:20,284
This room is for the
mama and the papa.

660
00:36:22,240 --> 00:36:23,879
Look at that bed.

661
00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:25,605
- Huge.
- Awesome.

662
00:36:26,040 --> 00:36:28,239
- This is so cool.
- Look at this candy.

663
00:36:28,240 --> 00:36:30,999
Here is where you make
more Theopotamuses.

664
00:36:33,240 --> 00:36:34,851
My bad.

665
00:36:35,440 --> 00:36:38,439
What part of "not dating"
does this bed fit into?

666
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,039
- Oh, boy.
- Okay. You know what?

667
00:36:41,040 --> 00:36:42,799
Everybody fall into line.

668
00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,279
Brendan, Tyler honey, I
need you on the couch.

669
00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,199
Hilary, C-SPAN, Lou...

670
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:48,759
Espn, Espn.

671
00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:51,559
Excuse me. Espn.
I'm sorry, honey.

672
00:36:51,560 --> 00:36:53,119
Oh, my God.

673
00:36:53,120 --> 00:36:59,559
Dick was gonna propose to Jen. A
family honeymoon, a "familymoon."

674
00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:02,439
And your dumb friend ruined it.
Here's what's gonna happen.

675
00:37:02,440 --> 00:37:04,359
The first room we saw,
we're gonna take that.

676
00:37:04,360 --> 00:37:07,959
And you and your deranged boys can
have Wilt Chamberlain's headquarters.

677
00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:09,924
Dude, what are you eating?

678
00:37:10,680 --> 00:37:12,006
Mm. "Cherry Pan-ties."

679
00:37:12,720 --> 00:37:16,208
What are "Cherry Pan-ties"?
Let me see that.

680
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:20,199
- Oh, no! God! Spit it out! Spit it out!
- Why?

681
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,079
Just no Cherry Pan-ties ever!
Out, out, out!

682
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:26,409
Hey, Mom. I guess this
used to be a firehouse.

683
00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,999
Look at this place. Wow.

684
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,479
Hello, Mr. Snuffleupagus.

685
00:37:43,480 --> 00:37:45,444
Heh. Theodopolis.

686
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:47,205
Hello...

687
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:50,839
Girls.

688
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,399
- Girls. They're girls.
- That's twice.

689
00:37:53,400 --> 00:37:55,568
Let's go, guys... Girls.

690
00:37:56,320 --> 00:37:58,799
23. We're looking for 23.

691
00:37:58,800 --> 00:38:00,729
There it is.

692
00:38:05,200 --> 00:38:07,039
- Ahem.
- Oh.

693
00:38:07,040 --> 00:38:08,239
- Hi!
- Hey.

694
00:38:08,240 --> 00:38:10,759
How you doing? I think we're
sharing a table with you.

695
00:38:10,760 --> 00:38:15,204
Yeah. Hi! I'm Eddy Wernick and this
is Ginger Wernick and our son, Jake.

696
00:38:15,560 --> 00:38:16,959
We're from Vancouver.

697
00:38:16,960 --> 00:38:18,679
Okay. I'm your son. All right?

698
00:38:18,680 --> 00:38:22,719
Ginger would've had to give birth to
me when she was 6. She's not my mom.

699
00:38:22,720 --> 00:38:24,639
Okay. Get it out
there for everyone.

700
00:38:24,640 --> 00:38:27,839
Sharing it, loving it. No holding back.
That's good.

701
00:38:27,840 --> 00:38:31,719
- All right. Let's do our thing. Come on.
- Isn't this place fantastic?

702
00:38:31,720 --> 00:38:33,839
- So romantic.
- Oh.

703
00:38:33,840 --> 00:38:35,963
Good. Gonna have a
nice trip here.

704
00:38:36,320 --> 00:38:38,039
- Um, Dad?
- Hey, sweetie.

705
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:39,399
Where should I sit?

706
00:38:39,400 --> 00:38:40,999
You can sit anywhere you want.

707
00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,521
What about Mom?
Where does she sit?

708
00:38:43,960 --> 00:38:45,844
Uh, where do you
want her to sit?

709
00:38:46,240 --> 00:38:47,439
Next to me?

710
00:38:47,440 --> 00:38:49,799
Then that's where she'll sit.
Go ahead.

711
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:52,519
Get right next to Lou.
Your mom's right there.

712
00:38:52,520 --> 00:38:53,999
Okay?

713
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,850
All good.

714
00:38:56,560 --> 00:38:59,161
Ignoring it. Ignoring
the weirdness.

715
00:38:59,480 --> 00:39:00,806
Ah.

716
00:39:00,880 --> 00:39:03,239
Where's the funeral at, boys?

717
00:39:03,240 --> 00:39:05,199
Where's the golf
tournament at, girls?

718
00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:07,599
Oh, no. No, no, no, no.

719
00:39:07,600 --> 00:39:09,279
Mfana. Mfana!

720
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:11,599
Yes! Missus, uh...?

721
00:39:11,600 --> 00:39:14,999
Reynolds. Palmer! Just
not his wife, okay?

722
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,039
I don't wanna sit here.
Not gonna happen.

723
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,759
Ha, ha. I'm afraid it
must happen, ma'am.

724
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:23,279
All tables are filled and
this is your family.

725
00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:24,766
Please sit with us.

726
00:39:24,840 --> 00:39:26,724
You give it a try.

727
00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:30,119
Every family fights.

728
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,919
- You make it better.
- Mm-hm.

729
00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:33,119
- Yes?
- Yes.

730
00:39:33,120 --> 00:39:34,845
Try the chakalaka.

731
00:39:35,240 --> 00:39:37,759
- Hi, new people.
- Hello.

732
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:42,841
This is Lauren, by the way, and her children,
the karate kids: Wax On and Wax Off.

733
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,039
Isn't this place fantastic?

734
00:39:47,040 --> 00:39:49,766
Oh, it's so romantic.

735
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:51,971
Sorry, what'd you say?

736
00:39:52,240 --> 00:39:54,363
So romantic!

737
00:39:54,440 --> 00:39:55,679
Easy.

738
00:39:55,680 --> 00:39:57,399
Keeping it classy, huh, Ginger?

739
00:39:57,400 --> 00:39:59,728
Oh, Jakey, you have
something on your face.

740
00:40:01,760 --> 00:40:03,564
Oh, it's a mole.

741
00:40:05,400 --> 00:40:07,279
Hey! You can't sit there.

742
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:09,448
- Why not?
- My mom's sitting there.

743
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:13,522
- Is she in the bathroom or something?
- No. She's sitting there right now.

744
00:40:15,000 --> 00:40:16,599
Are you on meds?

745
00:40:16,600 --> 00:40:17,799
Ow!

746
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:21,083
It's okay, Espn. We'll get
Brendan another chair.

747
00:40:21,800 --> 00:40:22,999
Thank you.

748
00:40:23,000 --> 00:40:25,839
Whatever. I'm just gonna
go to the buffet.

749
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:28,479
Tyler, come with me. They eat
fried caterpillars here.

750
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,045
Hell, yeah!

751
00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,759
Very nice. Girls, why don't
you hit the buffet also?

752
00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:36,519
Larry, make sure you have plenty of beef,
okay? Gotta bulk up for the season.

753
00:40:36,520 --> 00:40:38,085
Love you. Go on.

754
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,926
"Bulk up for the season"?
What is she, a bear?

755
00:40:44,360 --> 00:40:48,599
She's trying out for girls' varsity this
year. A lot of big ladies out there.

756
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:52,039
- She's gonna eat her way into the starting five.
- My God.

757
00:40:54,280 --> 00:40:57,404
Hello, everybody!

758
00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:00,359
My name is Nickens.

759
00:41:00,360 --> 00:41:03,799
And we are Thathoo!

760
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:09,159
We play traditional South
African isicathamiya music...

761
00:41:09,160 --> 00:41:13,968
with a little bit
of American soul.

762
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:19,039
- Ha-ha-ha!
- It is getting a little hot in here.

763
00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:24,399
Finally, my huge
African arms are free.

764
00:41:24,400 --> 00:41:26,204
Yeah, baby!

765
00:41:26,720 --> 00:41:28,160
Yes, they are.

766
00:41:28,360 --> 00:41:29,599
No.

767
00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:32,679
I would like to
welcome you to our...

768
00:41:32,680 --> 00:41:36,680
Fourth Annual Blended
Familymoon Week!

769
00:41:40,400 --> 00:41:43,959
- What's a blended family?
- I don't know. It sounds painful, though.

770
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,159
I am looking out at
all you beautiful...

771
00:41:47,160 --> 00:41:50,599
stepchildren,
stepdads, stepmoms...

772
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:55,359
half-brothers, same-sex domestic
partners, and good old-fashioned...

773
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,839
booty calls gone wrong.
Ha-ha-ha.

774
00:41:59,560 --> 00:42:03,879
Now, even though the
emphasis is on family...

775
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:07,599
we here at the beautiful Sun
City Resort want to make sure...

776
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:11,679
you get some alone time.

777
00:42:11,680 --> 00:42:14,087
Oh...

778
00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:19,559
Because alone time can
sometime take a long time...

779
00:42:19,560 --> 00:42:23,651
we have many supervised activities
for the young ones to do.

780
00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:27,559
We have a fabulous
jungle play zone.

781
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:35,485
A nightly pool party.

782
00:42:36,120 --> 00:42:40,120
Hey, Espn. Why aren't you getting in?
Is your mom afraid of the water?

783
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,006
Good one, Mom.

784
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:47,039
Magical animal time.

785
00:42:47,040 --> 00:42:51,848
Little one, wouldn't you like
to try petting a living animal?

786
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:54,403
He's dead?

787
00:42:55,960 --> 00:43:00,599
And our famous
Tekula teen disco!

788
00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:08,007
Hey, dude. There's a lot
of hot chicks out here.

789
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:24,639
The best time.

790
00:43:27,200 --> 00:43:29,129
What the heck is...?

791
00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,205
What is that?

792
00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:34,091
Are you kidding me?

793
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,879
Oh, my God! Are you kidding me?

794
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:38,919
Oh, my God! Oh, God!

795
00:43:38,920 --> 00:43:41,119
Oh, God! Crocodile!

796
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:42,639
Crocodile attack!

797
00:43:42,640 --> 00:43:45,279
Help me! Somebody help me!

798
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:47,926
Please don't kill me!
God! Oh, my God!

799
00:43:50,080 --> 00:43:53,887
Mr. Bellyflopolis, the
crocodiles are fake!

800
00:43:58,080 --> 00:43:59,805
They're fake?

801
00:44:00,080 --> 00:44:02,009
Yes, they're fake!

802
00:44:02,800 --> 00:44:06,559
Why would you make them
look so realistic?

803
00:44:06,560 --> 00:44:09,839
Well, to scare the baboons away.

804
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:14,719
You just scared a zebra
stripe into my underwear!

805
00:44:14,720 --> 00:44:18,959
Don't worry! What happens
in Africa, stays in Africa.

806
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:28,119
Oh. Oh.

807
00:44:28,120 --> 00:44:30,084
Tyler. Okay.

808
00:44:31,200 --> 00:44:33,279
Excuse me. Oh.

809
00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:34,527
Okay.

810
00:44:39,640 --> 00:44:42,639
That's one way to get him
to sleep through the night.

811
00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:44,759
- You saw that?
- I actually heard it.

812
00:44:44,760 --> 00:44:46,479
I think they heard it in Uganda.

813
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:48,559
It was a lot easier
when he was Lou's age.

814
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:51,439
Of course, let me help you out here.
Here you are. You're home.

815
00:44:51,440 --> 00:44:53,279
- Thank you.
- Absol... Oh. Too late.

816
00:44:53,280 --> 00:44:55,479
- Aah!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

817
00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:58,399
All right, all right, all right.
Pick him up.

818
00:44:58,400 --> 00:45:00,719
Three-second rule.
Three-second rule.

819
00:45:00,720 --> 00:45:03,321
Good, good, good. You're fine.
He's fine.

820
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,923
Okay, now I'm getting scared.

821
00:45:22,880 --> 00:45:24,570
Okay.

822
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:27,528
Sleep, sleep.

823
00:45:28,520 --> 00:45:33,203
Too hot in here. No blanket, okay?
Shh.

824
00:45:34,040 --> 00:45:35,924
Here's your buddy.

825
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:40,603
Love ya, love ya.

826
00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,123
Mom's sleeping there.

827
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,484
Okay, can I sleep with her?

828
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:50,525
No, you'll crush her.

829
00:45:50,960 --> 00:45:54,243
No, I could get in with her and
spoon with her. It would be nice.

830
00:45:54,360 --> 00:45:58,007
- I don't wanna see that.
- No. Okay.

831
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:02,047
We'll let Mommy rest. I'll, uh...
I'll figure it out.

832
00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:03,359
I love you.

833
00:46:03,360 --> 00:46:06,086
- I love you too, Dad. Good night.
- Sleep good.

834
00:46:08,920 --> 00:46:10,999
Me and you there, shorty.

835
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:13,407
Okay, that's right.

836
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:18,567
Right on my neck. That's gonna
make a nice evening for me.

837
00:46:38,480 --> 00:46:42,890
Hey, guys. It is
time to wake up.

838
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:47,039
Africa awaits us. It's
a beautiful morning.

839
00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,767
- Is he crazy?
- Go away. It's way too early.

840
00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:54,171
Lou, will you wake up
with Daddy, please?

841
00:46:54,360 --> 00:46:58,087
In the name of
Lucifer, let us sleep.

842
00:46:59,960 --> 00:47:04,085
Up, up, up, you two. I
have quite a day planned.

843
00:47:07,920 --> 00:47:09,531
I need a coffee.

844
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:15,965
Morning.

845
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,479
- Big day planned?
- Oh, yeah.

846
00:47:19,480 --> 00:47:24,159
7:15 nature walk. 8:30 petting zoo.
10:00 a.m. native crafts.

847
00:47:24,160 --> 00:47:26,599
The boys, they're so excited.

848
00:47:26,600 --> 00:47:30,079
Really? My girls are ecstatic also.
Just jumping up and down on the bed.

849
00:47:30,080 --> 00:47:31,439
Can't believe they're here.

850
00:47:31,440 --> 00:47:33,639
- Cream?
- No, thank you.

851
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:37,003
- Sugar?
- Yes, please.

852
00:47:38,760 --> 00:47:41,279
- Couldn't get the boys out of bed?
- No.

853
00:47:41,280 --> 00:47:42,479
The girls?

854
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:45,399
The girls are probably
sleeping the rest of the trip.

855
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:49,127
Possible exorcism coming for the
little one. We'll see what happens.

856
00:47:50,800 --> 00:47:53,679
Well, it's beautiful here.

857
00:47:53,680 --> 00:47:55,211
Oh, yeah.

858
00:47:59,360 --> 00:48:02,530
- I'll see you around.
- Yeah. Have a good one.

859
00:48:04,200 --> 00:48:06,880
You won't see that
in New Jersey.

860
00:48:07,960 --> 00:48:12,039
Okay. All right. All right. Here we go.
Okay. Here you go, baby.

861
00:48:12,040 --> 00:48:14,719
That's it, sweetie. Take him down.
Take him! That's it.

862
00:48:14,720 --> 00:48:17,002
Back him. Use your weight!
Muscle him.

863
00:48:17,360 --> 00:48:19,079
- Unh.
- Use your body.

864
00:48:19,080 --> 00:48:21,806
- Unh!
- Oh, yeah! Finish it!

865
00:48:22,000 --> 00:48:24,851
- Ugh!
- And bam! That's it! Yes!

866
00:48:25,000 --> 00:48:27,168
Yes! Way to go, Larry.

867
00:48:30,160 --> 00:48:33,479
Winners up. Let's go.
Give me the ball. Buddy.

868
00:48:33,480 --> 00:48:35,125
Up top.

869
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,559
And we go in. Let's go.
Get loose.

870
00:48:39,560 --> 00:48:42,684
Cut. Cut! Larry! Move!

871
00:48:43,920 --> 00:48:45,849
Come on. What are you doing?

872
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:49,799
Larry?

873
00:48:49,800 --> 00:48:51,959
Just cut! Go! Break it.

874
00:48:51,960 --> 00:48:53,889
Shake him off. Come on.

875
00:48:54,720 --> 00:48:56,206
Are you voguing right now?

876
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:58,731
What is happening?

877
00:48:59,160 --> 00:49:00,725
Here! Just take the ball.

878
00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:03,359
Work the kid. Work him.
Lose him.

879
00:49:03,360 --> 00:49:06,279
Cross him. Cross him over.
Cross him.

880
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:07,879
Don't skip!

881
00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,879
Why you moving like that?
Is it the bra?

882
00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:13,209
Because if it's the bra, just take it off.
You don't need it anyways.

883
00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:21,521
What?

884
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,559
What are you doing?
We just started.

885
00:49:26,560 --> 00:49:29,331
Is your boy okay? Why
does he wear a bra?

886
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,206
She's a girl.

887
00:49:33,160 --> 00:49:34,719
You suck.

888
00:49:34,720 --> 00:49:36,879
You suck, you suck, you suck

889
00:49:36,880 --> 00:49:39,003
You suck, you suck, you suck

890
00:49:39,160 --> 00:49:42,239
You suck, you suck, you suck
You schooled by a little girl

891
00:49:42,240 --> 00:49:44,920
Your boy has no skills

892
00:49:46,080 --> 00:49:49,250
You schooled by a little girl

893
00:50:00,160 --> 00:50:01,964
Tyler, slow down!

894
00:50:02,280 --> 00:50:05,399
Come on, Mom! We're going
four miles per hour.

895
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,519
That's plenty fast enough.
Fast and safe.

896
00:50:08,520 --> 00:50:11,159
Miss Palmer! It's
okay to go fast.

897
00:50:11,160 --> 00:50:12,919
Oh, okay, Mfana.

898
00:50:12,920 --> 00:50:14,759
Watch me!

899
00:50:14,760 --> 00:50:17,279
Ha-ha-ha. Wee!

900
00:50:17,280 --> 00:50:19,959
- You're going the wrong way!
- Watch out, Grandma!

901
00:50:23,400 --> 00:50:24,726
My bad.

902
00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:29,279
The blending process is
really going well for us.

903
00:50:29,280 --> 00:50:34,239
My husband's 13-year-old still has
some hatred issues towards me.

904
00:50:34,240 --> 00:50:37,959
But it is becoming less
physical, so it's a start.

905
00:50:37,960 --> 00:50:40,638
- That's great.
- Good for you.

906
00:50:40,639 --> 00:50:44,599
I woke up this morning with a
pillow pressed against my face.

907
00:50:44,600 --> 00:50:48,639
But I could sense some guilt afterwards.
So that's progress.

908
00:50:48,640 --> 00:50:52,039
Hang in there, ladies. There's a
light at the end of the tunnel.

909
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:53,839
This little angel here...

910
00:50:53,840 --> 00:50:57,879
is finally starting to think
of me as her second mom.

911
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:00,447
Not just her former
gymnastics teacher.

912
00:51:00,480 --> 00:51:02,444
What are you drawing, honey?

913
00:51:02,480 --> 00:51:06,048
It's a picture of elephants stomping
on your head and making you dead.

914
00:51:07,280 --> 00:51:09,608
- Heh-heh-heh.
- Stop it.

915
00:51:11,000 --> 00:51:13,680
Don't worry. What happens
in Africa stays in Africa.

916
00:51:15,240 --> 00:51:16,439
Bump my fist?

917
00:51:16,440 --> 00:51:19,371
- Ha, ha. Jim's so funny.
- Yeah.

918
00:51:34,480 --> 00:51:37,079
My head is boiling, Mom.
Get it off.

919
00:51:37,080 --> 00:51:38,361
I'm trying.

920
00:51:38,400 --> 00:51:42,199
- Why did you tie it with so many knots?
- I didn't want it to come flying off.

921
00:51:42,200 --> 00:51:45,279
Oh, my God! What
happened to her face?

922
00:51:45,280 --> 00:51:48,679
- I painted it. She's a kitty cat.
- Are you wearing eye shadow?

923
00:51:48,680 --> 00:51:52,119
I made Daddy a princess, but
he washed the paint off.

924
00:51:52,120 --> 00:51:55,679
Well, not all the way off because
he looks a little like Lady Gaga.

925
00:51:55,680 --> 00:51:59,646
Why is this kid wearing a helmet? Are you
carrying him to bed again or something?

926
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:03,359
No, I tied the chin strap too many times.
I can't get it off.

927
00:52:03,360 --> 00:52:07,199
Best thing about working at a sporting
goods store: Swiss Army knives.

928
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,209
- Just be careful.
- I'll go easy.

929
00:52:10,560 --> 00:52:11,959
- Aah!
- Oh.

930
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:14,199
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- Thank you.

931
00:52:14,200 --> 00:52:17,199
- Daddy, I gotta go to the bathroom.
- You do? Okay.

932
00:52:17,200 --> 00:52:18,765
Can she take me?

933
00:52:19,560 --> 00:52:22,799
She's got her own life to live.
What do you gotta do? One or two?

934
00:52:22,800 --> 00:52:25,446
- Number one.
- I can handle this.

935
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:27,919
- Okay.
- Will you watch him?

936
00:52:27,920 --> 00:52:31,839
- And I mean watch him.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got it, home slice.

937
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:33,079
- Okay.
- For sure.

938
00:52:33,080 --> 00:52:35,079
What's number one again?

939
00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:37,123
It's a pee-pee.

940
00:52:39,560 --> 00:52:42,081
And sometimes he wipes too hard.

941
00:52:42,240 --> 00:52:44,479
I'm sure he doesn't mean to.

942
00:52:44,480 --> 00:52:48,287
No, he's a good daddy. He
just doesn't have a bagina.

943
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,959
Okay, honey. Let's
wash your hands.

944
00:52:53,360 --> 00:52:58,559
He's a bad daddy! He made me
look like the walking dead!

945
00:52:58,560 --> 00:52:59,759
Oh, no!

946
00:53:01,680 --> 00:53:03,279
Okay.

947
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:04,839
All right.

948
00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:07,679
Let's see what we have
in the magic bag here.

949
00:53:07,680 --> 00:53:10,599
Oh. Perfect.

950
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:12,962
All right. La, da, da.

951
00:53:14,480 --> 00:53:15,966
You're pretty.

952
00:53:17,480 --> 00:53:19,444
You're prettier.

953
00:53:20,000 --> 00:53:21,645
I said you are.

954
00:53:22,440 --> 00:53:25,119
Shut up and let me
do your makeup.

955
00:53:26,640 --> 00:53:28,279
Don't worry. They're around.

956
00:53:28,280 --> 00:53:29,879
Oh, I'm not worried.

957
00:53:29,880 --> 00:53:31,605
Maybe that's where they are.

958
00:53:32,400 --> 00:53:33,806
Yeah!

959
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:35,959
Yeah!

960
00:53:35,960 --> 00:53:37,286
Tyler?

961
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:39,241
- Hold on, now!
- Excuse me.

962
00:53:39,640 --> 00:53:42,119
- Hold on, big time!
- Aah!

963
00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:49,119
Aah! Oh, my God! I'm
gonna kill him.

964
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,239
Yeah, baby! Hold on, now!

965
00:53:53,240 --> 00:53:54,799
Whoa! Whoa!

966
00:53:54,800 --> 00:53:56,923
Easy, homey, easy!

967
00:53:57,160 --> 00:54:01,319
Tyler! Get off that
dodo bird right now!

968
00:54:01,320 --> 00:54:05,491
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everything's fine.
The safety instructor's on top of it.

969
00:54:08,160 --> 00:54:09,399
Ugh.

970
00:54:09,400 --> 00:54:12,524
Look at me, Mom! I'm a cowboy!

971
00:54:12,560 --> 00:54:15,079
Well, partner, I bet I can
stay on longer than you!

972
00:54:15,080 --> 00:54:16,759
It's on, sheriff.

973
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,883
No "longer"! No "staying"!

974
00:54:19,240 --> 00:54:22,119
- I can't be beat!
- I can't hear you! You're going down!

975
00:54:22,120 --> 00:54:25,722
I'm never gonna fall off! Never!

976
00:54:31,000 --> 00:54:32,719
Whoo! One hand, mama!

977
00:54:32,720 --> 00:54:34,046
Whoo... Aah!

978
00:54:35,160 --> 00:54:37,199
Ooh!

979
00:54:37,200 --> 00:54:38,359
Good!

980
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:41,564
Yes! I win! I'm the
king of Africa!

981
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,879
- Whoa!
- Tyler!

982
00:54:49,360 --> 00:54:51,039
A winner!

983
00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:52,599
Are you kidding me?

984
00:54:52,600 --> 00:54:54,919
Yee-haw! Yee-haw!

985
00:54:54,920 --> 00:54:57,999
Wow. Whoo, boom!

986
00:54:58,000 --> 00:55:00,879
You're a moron, okay? Because
he could've broken his neck!

987
00:55:00,880 --> 00:55:05,199
Mom. Mom, Mom. Did you see that? I stuck
the landing and did the bull dance.

988
00:55:05,200 --> 00:55:06,519
I saw it.

989
00:55:06,520 --> 00:55:09,119
Thank you so much for taking
me on this trip, Mom.

990
00:55:09,120 --> 00:55:11,163
This is the best day of my life!

991
00:55:11,640 --> 00:55:15,679
Okay. Great! Oh, good! Oh, good.
I love you so much.

992
00:55:15,680 --> 00:55:19,079
- I'm so glad you're having fun.
- Aw.

993
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:20,406
You're welcome.

994
00:55:20,600 --> 00:55:22,119
Thank you so much.

995
00:55:22,120 --> 00:55:25,085
- Why you flipping my dad off?
- Huh? I'm not.

996
00:55:30,920 --> 00:55:34,039
Yo! Check out white girl
in the neighborhood.

997
00:55:34,040 --> 00:55:36,641
Am I right, my brothers?
Woo-woo!

998
00:55:43,440 --> 00:55:45,919
I can't believe your
dad's into my mom.

999
00:55:45,920 --> 00:55:47,879
He doesn't like her.
She's into him.

1000
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:52,519
No way. He's goofy and flabby all over.
My mom's gorgeous with a rocking body.

1001
00:55:52,520 --> 00:55:54,399
Hey, that's sick, man.

1002
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:56,329
That was out of context!

1003
00:55:56,600 --> 00:55:58,079
Was it?

1004
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:29,799
You know, you should just go talk to
him because he probably won't bite.

1005
00:56:29,800 --> 00:56:32,844
Oh! No, no. I can't.

1006
00:56:33,240 --> 00:56:35,119
Got a boyfriend back at home?

1007
00:56:35,120 --> 00:56:38,679
Please. All the guys at my school
pretty much assume I'm a lesbian.

1008
00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:40,644
And not the hot kind.

1009
00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:45,008
Well, have you ever
considered, say, like...

1010
00:56:45,320 --> 00:56:46,719
changing your hairstyle?

1011
00:56:46,720 --> 00:56:50,119
Our barber only really knows
how to do this and crew cuts.

1012
00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:51,679
- So...
- A barber?

1013
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:53,999
Like the kind with
a pole outside?

1014
00:56:54,000 --> 00:56:57,319
He cut our grandfather's hair.
He cuts my dad's hair.

1015
00:56:57,320 --> 00:57:00,729
- And now he cuts our hair. Heh.
- May I just...?

1016
00:57:02,840 --> 00:57:04,201
Yup.

1017
00:57:07,760 --> 00:57:10,519
You have such a beautiful face.

1018
00:57:13,360 --> 00:57:18,168
You know, it's funny because I was
actually on my way to the salon.

1019
00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:20,329
Do you wanna come
check it out with me?

1020
00:57:21,040 --> 00:57:22,359
For what?

1021
00:57:22,360 --> 00:57:24,244
For a hairdo...

1022
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:25,799
for a girl...

1023
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:27,570
in this century.

1024
00:57:27,880 --> 00:57:32,199
I would but I'd have to
ask my dad for the money.

1025
00:57:32,200 --> 00:57:34,971
No. No, no, no. It's on me.

1026
00:57:36,240 --> 00:57:37,487
Really?

1027
00:57:38,120 --> 00:57:39,839
It would make me so happy.

1028
00:57:39,840 --> 00:57:42,247
Because I don't get to
do this with my boys.

1029
00:57:42,640 --> 00:57:44,879
- Come on, Prince Valiant.
- Heh.

1030
00:57:44,880 --> 00:57:47,759
- I don't know who that is but okay.
- Okay.

1031
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,399
Where do you buy your clothes?

1032
00:57:52,400 --> 00:57:54,999
Oh, Dad gets most of
our clothes from work.

1033
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:58,759
Oh, then I guess we should be
grateful he doesn't work at Hooters.

1034
00:57:58,760 --> 00:58:01,088
No, my mom worked at Hooters.

1035
00:58:01,640 --> 00:58:03,039
She what?

1036
00:58:03,040 --> 00:58:07,723
Oh, my mom, she used to work at Hooters.
She managed the one over on Lake Street.

1037
00:58:09,760 --> 00:58:11,849
Oh. Heh.

1038
00:58:19,240 --> 00:58:22,359
So then he gets down on
one knee and proposes.

1039
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:25,719
Right in the middle
of kickboxing class.

1040
00:58:25,720 --> 00:58:28,719
He's lucky he didn't get
kicked in the nuts.

1041
00:58:28,720 --> 00:58:30,604
Oh, my nuts! Ha-ha-ha.

1042
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:37,559
Espn. This is the best passion
fruit I've ever tasted. Try it.

1043
00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,762
And I got some for your mom too.

1044
00:58:41,800 --> 00:58:43,159
Thank you.

1045
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:44,719
You're welcome.

1046
00:58:44,720 --> 00:58:46,319
So how'd you two sexicans meet?

1047
00:58:46,320 --> 00:58:48,959
Yeah! Hitting them with the
hard questions. I like it.

1048
00:58:48,960 --> 00:58:51,039
Well, we met on a blind date.

1049
00:58:51,040 --> 00:58:54,079
- Argh. Those are the worst.
- Oh.

1050
00:58:54,080 --> 00:58:56,359
I've been on 10 blind
dates in my life.

1051
00:58:56,360 --> 00:58:59,719
All fatties. Ten for ten.
All fatties.

1052
00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:02,886
No offense, Jim.

1053
00:59:03,680 --> 00:59:05,039
What?

1054
00:59:05,040 --> 00:59:06,810
So what happened?
Where'd he take you?

1055
00:59:07,080 --> 00:59:09,359
Actually, Hooters.

1056
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:10,599
Here we go.

1057
00:59:10,600 --> 00:59:16,204
Which was wonderful service,
nice people, really great.

1058
00:59:17,600 --> 00:59:20,079
Aw. How romantic.

1059
00:59:20,080 --> 00:59:23,519
- Oh.
- Aw, everyone's shimmying now.

1060
00:59:23,520 --> 00:59:25,719
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
Ha-ha-ha.

1061
00:59:25,720 --> 00:59:28,730
Why you no shimmy, Jimmy?
Shimmy.

1062
00:59:29,040 --> 00:59:30,287
Jim?

1063
01:00:09,000 --> 01:00:12,761
Where's Larry? What
happened to Larry?

1064
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:14,365
I'm right here, Dad.

1065
01:00:15,240 --> 01:00:17,999
Why were the, uh...?

1066
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,202
How did this, uh...?

1067
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,369
What's happening right now?

1068
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:25,759
Um, well, Lauren gave me
her salon appointment...

1069
01:00:25,760 --> 01:00:26,999
Uh-huh.

1070
01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,726
and they put in hair
extensions and makeup...

1071
01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:34,999
and she even told them how to style
it and what to do, what not to do.

1072
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,168
She was pretty amazing.

1073
01:00:37,800 --> 01:00:39,968
She was amazing, huh?

1074
01:00:40,000 --> 01:00:43,039
Do you want to go get
some sushi from the bar?

1075
01:00:43,040 --> 01:00:45,799
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy, scarecrow!
She's gotta bulk up!

1076
01:00:45,800 --> 01:00:49,163
Pork chops! Lamb chops! Tri-tip!

1077
01:00:50,160 --> 01:00:51,359
Uh...

1078
01:00:51,360 --> 01:00:53,369
Let's go get our beef on?

1079
01:00:57,720 --> 01:01:02,159
Uh-oh. I think someone new came to dinner.
A flying baby named Cupid.

1080
01:01:02,160 --> 01:01:03,999
- Heh-heh-heh.
- Ping.

1081
01:01:04,000 --> 01:01:07,039
Aah! You got me!

1082
01:01:11,080 --> 01:01:12,719
Now we're both in love.

1083
01:01:16,040 --> 01:01:17,480
What's the matter?

1084
01:01:18,040 --> 01:01:19,479
What's the matter?

1085
01:01:19,480 --> 01:01:23,239
I just looked at my daughter, and
I didn't really recognize her.

1086
01:01:23,240 --> 01:01:25,090
Kind of threw me
off for a minute.

1087
01:01:25,200 --> 01:01:29,479
Well, she's 15, you know? She's
bound to grow up at some point.

1088
01:01:29,480 --> 01:01:31,079
I know. Call me crazy.

1089
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:35,001
I just thought maybe that would be
my decision because she's my kid!

1090
01:01:36,360 --> 01:01:39,079
Okay! Awkward moment. Uncomfortable.
Tension.

1091
01:01:39,080 --> 01:01:40,999
I'm leaving the table.
Who's with me?

1092
01:01:41,000 --> 01:01:43,248
- Me! Me!
- I'm going.

1093
01:01:43,840 --> 01:01:45,610
Wow.

1094
01:01:45,920 --> 01:01:47,159
Whoa. I just...

1095
01:01:47,160 --> 01:01:48,559
Can I ask you?

1096
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:52,970
What made you think you could tart up
my daughter without my permission?

1097
01:01:53,840 --> 01:01:57,283
You're right. I'm sorry. I am.

1098
01:01:57,560 --> 01:02:01,039
I just find it hypocritical from
someone who nearly killed my son.

1099
01:02:01,040 --> 01:02:02,879
So it was getting even?
Is that it?

1100
01:02:02,880 --> 01:02:05,559
No, it's not getting
even but I just...

1101
01:02:05,560 --> 01:02:07,519
- She's beautiful.
- Right.

1102
01:02:07,520 --> 01:02:10,279
With that pageboy Prince Valiant
haircut you gave her...

1103
01:02:10,280 --> 01:02:12,399
She looked very nice
with that haircut.

1104
01:02:12,400 --> 01:02:17,439
and the tracksuit, are you kidding me?
Dying on the inside to come out!

1105
01:02:17,440 --> 01:02:22,168
Her mother was tomboyish at her
age and that was fine with me.

1106
01:02:22,720 --> 01:02:25,161
You knew your wife
when she was 15?

1107
01:02:25,280 --> 01:02:28,119
I knew my wife when I was 13.
I had a crush on her.

1108
01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,448
I have no idea why
she liked me back.

1109
01:02:30,640 --> 01:02:33,810
I was 90 percent goofy
and 10 percent loser.

1110
01:02:34,360 --> 01:02:39,919
Well, I was 60 percent Urkel
and 40 percent Screech.

1111
01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:44,199
Put it to you this way: If I didn't have braces,
my teeth would be hitting you right now.

1112
01:02:51,320 --> 01:02:55,879
I'm sorry I yelled at you. I feel like a jerk
because I put your kid on a gooney bird...

1113
01:02:55,880 --> 01:02:59,971
- and I didn't ask your permission.
- No, but listen. You're right.

1114
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,799
I need to let go of the
reins a little bit.

1115
01:03:04,800 --> 01:03:08,721
I just want to say on
behalf of Thathoo...

1116
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:13,919
how happy we are to see you
two lovebirds finally...

1117
01:03:13,920 --> 01:03:15,319
blending.

1118
01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:18,839
No, we're not blending. We were
just having a conversation.

1119
01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:21,679
- Just happy we haven't killed each other yet.
- Heh.

1120
01:03:21,680 --> 01:03:23,839
Yes, yes, you are blending

1121
01:03:23,840 --> 01:03:25,759
We don't feel that way
about each other!

1122
01:03:25,760 --> 01:03:28,079
Yes, you'll be touching

1123
01:03:28,080 --> 01:03:30,079
Like wine and bobotie

1124
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:32,199
All right, let's go
and get our beef on!

1125
01:03:32,200 --> 01:03:34,199
And like malva pudding

1126
01:03:34,200 --> 01:03:35,639
All right, thank you.

1127
01:03:35,640 --> 01:03:38,559
I think they're blending over there!
Come now! Come now!

1128
01:03:38,560 --> 01:03:40,569
They're blending over here! Yes!

1129
01:03:50,720 --> 01:03:52,639
Daddy, look!

1130
01:04:17,240 --> 01:04:20,091
Ha-ha-ha. Woo-hoo!

1131
01:04:24,920 --> 01:04:27,726
What? I thought I saw an eagle.

1132
01:04:27,960 --> 01:04:31,767
I saw a camel! Ha-ha-ha.

1133
01:04:34,760 --> 01:04:37,919
Hey, Hilary. Uh... You
wanna come in our truck?

1134
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:40,600
Shouldn't you be in your coffin?
The sun's out right now.

1135
01:04:40,640 --> 01:04:42,729
Take a walk, homes.

1136
01:04:45,920 --> 01:04:47,451
Eh, yo, yo, yo.

1137
01:04:47,600 --> 01:04:49,040
Go ahead.

1138
01:05:03,400 --> 01:05:04,719
Oh!

1139
01:05:04,720 --> 01:05:06,604
- Oh, my God.
- Ha-ha-ha.

1140
01:05:13,320 --> 01:05:14,839
Look, children.

1141
01:05:14,840 --> 01:05:17,122
The bush pig has
lost its parents...

1142
01:05:17,160 --> 01:05:20,489
so it is being cared for
by Mama and Papa Lion.

1143
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:24,079
Even in nature there
are blended families.

1144
01:05:24,080 --> 01:05:25,639
- That's nice.
- That's sweet.

1145
01:05:34,320 --> 01:05:37,359
I may have misread
that situation.

1146
01:05:37,360 --> 01:05:40,239
- You think so, buddy?
- What is wrong with you?

1147
01:05:58,640 --> 01:06:00,399
Yeah, Lauren!

1148
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:01,965
Yeah, baby!

1149
01:06:02,200 --> 01:06:04,846
- No!
- You can do it, Mom!

1150
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,648
Go Lauren! Go Lauren!

1151
01:06:07,920 --> 01:06:09,929
Whoa.

1152
01:06:12,000 --> 01:06:13,406
Oh, my God.

1153
01:06:43,000 --> 01:06:46,719
Emotional. Time passing.
Changes.

1154
01:06:46,720 --> 01:06:49,319
It's... it's... It's hard.

1155
01:06:49,320 --> 01:06:53,605
You gotta let it go. Turning the page.
Moving on.

1156
01:06:54,400 --> 01:06:56,079
She was a little kid just a...

1157
01:06:56,080 --> 01:06:58,239
Processing it. Accepting it.

1158
01:06:58,240 --> 01:07:00,599
The circle of life.
Painful, though.

1159
01:07:00,600 --> 01:07:02,211
It hurts, right?

1160
01:07:02,360 --> 01:07:04,399
No. Not for me. I got a boy.

1161
01:07:04,400 --> 01:07:06,250
But you're in the shithouse.

1162
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:07,880
Thanks.

1163
01:07:08,800 --> 01:07:10,479
Whoo! Aah!

1164
01:07:10,480 --> 01:07:13,759
The view is splendid!

1165
01:07:15,200 --> 01:07:17,368
Which mean "who's next?"

1166
01:07:17,480 --> 01:07:18,719
Please, Mom?

1167
01:07:18,720 --> 01:07:21,239
What? That? Are you crazy? No.

1168
01:07:21,240 --> 01:07:24,279
If Mfana can do it, I could do it.
It's totally safe.

1169
01:07:24,280 --> 01:07:28,371
There is no way I'm going
to let you do that.

1170
01:07:29,080 --> 01:07:32,879
Unless I try it first...

1171
01:07:32,880 --> 01:07:35,599
- and make sure you can handle it.
- Yes!

1172
01:07:35,600 --> 01:07:37,719
Yeah! Oh, yeah!

1173
01:07:37,720 --> 01:07:39,888
Your mom is gonna do it.

1174
01:07:42,160 --> 01:07:45,159
You have nothing to worry about.
You are in tight.

1175
01:07:45,160 --> 01:07:47,159
You got 50-gauge webbing here.

1176
01:07:47,160 --> 01:07:49,959
Possibly malaria is the only
thing you gotta think about.

1177
01:07:49,960 --> 01:07:51,919
Don't swallow anything
weird up there.

1178
01:07:51,920 --> 01:07:54,679
Okay. What happens if, like,
I wanna signal for help...

1179
01:07:54,680 --> 01:07:57,959
- or, like, if I decide to change my mind? Aah!
- Whoa!

1180
01:07:57,960 --> 01:07:59,279
Oh, yeah, baby!

1181
01:07:59,280 --> 01:08:00,718
- You look good!
- Oh, my God!

1182
01:08:00,719 --> 01:08:03,079
I change my mind!
I change my mind!

1183
01:08:03,080 --> 01:08:05,199
- Whoo!
- That's awesome!

1184
01:08:07,840 --> 01:08:08,999
Oh.

1185
01:08:11,160 --> 01:08:12,521
Wow!

1186
01:08:13,680 --> 01:08:16,611
Oh, my God!

1187
01:08:16,840 --> 01:08:18,879
It's beautiful!

1188
01:08:18,880 --> 01:08:21,319
Go, Mama, go!

1189
01:08:21,320 --> 01:08:22,519
Aah! Aah!

1190
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:24,239
There are giraffes!

1191
01:08:24,240 --> 01:08:28,119
Jim, there are giraffes right there!
I can see them!

1192
01:08:28,120 --> 01:08:30,519
Well, say hello for me!

1193
01:08:32,000 --> 01:08:33,479
Oh, wow!

1194
01:08:35,400 --> 01:08:37,841
Oh, this is so pretty!

1195
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:42,919
Oh, my God! Elephants!
Elephants!

1196
01:08:42,920 --> 01:08:44,519
Aah!

1197
01:08:47,840 --> 01:08:50,599
- Thatta girl!
- Go Lauren!

1198
01:08:52,840 --> 01:08:54,599
Why is she screaming?

1199
01:08:54,600 --> 01:08:58,599
She's not screaming. She's howling.
She's having fun.

1200
01:09:02,600 --> 01:09:04,879
Looking good up there, baby!

1201
01:09:04,880 --> 01:09:09,319
Fly, Mrs. Thorpopolis!
Fly like the wind!

1202
01:09:11,520 --> 01:09:14,724
Tyler! You've gotta try this!

1203
01:09:18,720 --> 01:09:20,251
Why you slowing down?

1204
01:09:20,520 --> 01:09:23,724
- We're out of gas.
- You're out of gas? What does that mean?

1205
01:09:24,120 --> 01:09:26,919
We used to have gas.
But now we're out.

1206
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:28,359
Oh.

1207
01:09:29,800 --> 01:09:31,764
Oh, my God! What's happening?

1208
01:09:33,080 --> 01:09:34,327
Jim!

1209
01:09:34,520 --> 01:09:37,439
- We're out of gas!
- What?

1210
01:09:37,440 --> 01:09:40,079
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God! No!

1211
01:09:40,080 --> 01:09:41,479
This is all your fault!

1212
01:09:41,480 --> 01:09:43,799
Don't worry! My dad's gonna
come up with a plan!

1213
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,970
- What's the plan?
- Look for a gas station.

1214
01:09:47,080 --> 01:09:48,399
You suck.

1215
01:09:48,400 --> 01:09:50,959
Why did I let you
talk me into this?

1216
01:09:50,960 --> 01:09:52,199
Listen to me!

1217
01:09:52,200 --> 01:09:54,119
When you get close
to the ground...

1218
01:09:54,120 --> 01:09:56,799
start running fast!

1219
01:09:56,800 --> 01:09:59,399
I have the legs of a corgi dog!

1220
01:09:59,400 --> 01:10:03,321
It doesn't matter right now!
Move those little babies!

1221
01:10:03,600 --> 01:10:06,719
You cannot let your kids
see you die like this!

1222
01:10:08,520 --> 01:10:11,639
Go! Go! Go!

1223
01:10:11,640 --> 01:10:14,279
Now! Get those legs going!

1224
01:10:16,040 --> 01:10:18,879
Oh, my God! Rhino!

1225
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:20,599
- Rhino, rhino!
- Oh, my God!

1226
01:10:22,320 --> 01:10:23,559
Spread them!

1227
01:10:23,560 --> 01:10:25,799
- Oh, my God!
- Spread the legs!

1228
01:10:25,800 --> 01:10:28,599
- Aah!
- Her bagina!

1229
01:10:28,600 --> 01:10:30,450
Aah! Cw!

1230
01:10:33,120 --> 01:10:34,606
Yeah!

1231
01:10:35,000 --> 01:10:36,479
Ugh!

1232
01:10:39,120 --> 01:10:40,959
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- Dad!

1233
01:11:05,720 --> 01:11:07,445
Ooh.

1234
01:11:10,760 --> 01:11:13,088
Aah.

1235
01:11:13,240 --> 01:11:16,679
I didn't have you pegged for
the massage type of guy.

1236
01:11:16,680 --> 01:11:19,519
It's the first massage I'll
ever do in my life. I have to.

1237
01:11:19,520 --> 01:11:22,279
To see if they can rub my
pancreas out of my neck.

1238
01:11:22,280 --> 01:11:25,051
My God. You're
welcome, by the way.

1239
01:11:25,480 --> 01:11:27,250
For what?

1240
01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,439
"For what?" For saving you.

1241
01:11:29,440 --> 01:11:31,279
You didn't save me.

1242
01:11:31,280 --> 01:11:33,119
You told me to keep running.

1243
01:11:33,120 --> 01:11:34,879
Why didn't you catch me?

1244
01:11:34,880 --> 01:11:37,399
I was supposed to catch you?
Who am I, Batman?

1245
01:11:37,400 --> 01:11:39,479
Coming at me like
700 miles an hour.

1246
01:11:39,480 --> 01:11:43,559
You're weighing about a buck fifty. The
inertia would rip my arms off my body.

1247
01:11:43,560 --> 01:11:47,959
Yes. That's me. I weigh a buck fifty.
If I'm holding your left ass cheek.

1248
01:11:49,560 --> 01:11:52,559
- I don't know what women weigh.
- You don't know anything.

1249
01:11:52,560 --> 01:11:55,479
- Mm-hm. We'll see.
- Have a nice massage.

1250
01:11:55,480 --> 01:11:58,039
All right. Now do the
same on your partner...

1251
01:11:58,040 --> 01:12:02,679
while making sure to continue to
look deeply into each others' eyes.

1252
01:12:07,040 --> 01:12:09,799
- What is this?
- A scene out of The Doors?

1253
01:12:09,800 --> 01:12:12,079
I don't know. Uh...

1254
01:12:12,080 --> 01:12:14,679
Ma'am? Yeah. I booked a massage.

1255
01:12:14,680 --> 01:12:18,566
Yes. You've booked for the
Art of Couples massage.

1256
01:12:18,920 --> 01:12:23,439
- I just got a call from my babysitter...
- Oh. There was an avalanche in my back yard...

1257
01:12:23,440 --> 01:12:26,319
Come on! This is exactly
what you guys need.

1258
01:12:26,320 --> 01:12:28,799
We'll form a massage train.
I'll be the caboose.

1259
01:12:28,800 --> 01:12:32,243
- Unacceptable.
- I'm joking.

1260
01:12:34,800 --> 01:12:35,999
- Join us.
- No, ma'am.

1261
01:12:36,000 --> 01:12:38,039
- I'm so good.
- I'm being totally honest...

1262
01:12:38,040 --> 01:12:39,839
I think you should. This way.

1263
01:12:39,840 --> 01:12:42,679
- And there you go.
- Oh, my God.

1264
01:12:45,920 --> 01:12:47,199
Okay!

1265
01:12:47,200 --> 01:12:51,610
Let's loosen things up by
stroking your lover's neck.

1266
01:12:52,400 --> 01:12:54,329
- Okay
- Come on now.

1267
01:12:54,880 --> 01:12:56,279
Don't be bashful.

1268
01:12:56,280 --> 01:13:01,486
Give yourself over to the pleasure
of your loving partner's touch.

1269
01:13:05,160 --> 01:13:06,885
Yeah.

1270
01:13:09,560 --> 01:13:11,205
- Hello.
- How are you?

1271
01:13:15,200 --> 01:13:16,399
Ow.

1272
01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:18,239
Remember to keep the touch soft.

1273
01:13:18,240 --> 01:13:21,046
Lightly brush your fingers
against her skin.

1274
01:13:22,560 --> 01:13:23,807
It's so...

1275
01:13:24,280 --> 01:13:25,799
Oh, God! What's happening?

1276
01:13:25,800 --> 01:13:27,439
- Is there a bug on me?
- No.

1277
01:13:27,440 --> 01:13:32,119
There's no bug. I was just trying
to get some skin, like she said.

1278
01:13:32,120 --> 01:13:34,719
- Well, that hurts the jugular.
- I won't do it.

1279
01:13:34,720 --> 01:13:37,571
I'm sorry. I don't know...

1280
01:13:38,040 --> 01:13:40,322
how to give you a...

1281
01:13:47,800 --> 01:13:49,650
Okay, so...

1282
01:13:49,960 --> 01:13:51,685
- There you go.
- Oh.

1283
01:13:52,520 --> 01:13:55,679
- That's actually really nice. Heh.
- Good.

1284
01:13:55,680 --> 01:13:57,245
Oh, God.

1285
01:13:57,720 --> 01:13:58,919
Oh.

1286
01:13:58,920 --> 01:14:01,168
I feel like I'm relaxing.

1287
01:14:01,440 --> 01:14:04,079
Oh, it's wonderful.

1288
01:14:04,080 --> 01:14:06,959
Excuse me. Am I gonna get some
sort of rub action here...

1289
01:14:06,960 --> 01:14:09,279
or does the guy do all
the work in Africa?

1290
01:14:09,280 --> 01:14:10,970
Very funny, Mr. Moptopolis.

1291
01:14:13,200 --> 01:14:15,641
But he's right. Ladies, it's
time for you to join in.

1292
01:14:15,880 --> 01:14:20,399
As your partner moves down to
your shoulders, reach out...

1293
01:14:20,400 --> 01:14:22,125
and touch his ears.

1294
01:14:22,440 --> 01:14:26,479
Gently rub the lobes between
your thumb and index finger...

1295
01:14:26,480 --> 01:14:29,239
as if you were rubbing
the morning dew...

1296
01:14:29,240 --> 01:14:32,199
- off a flower petal.
- Uh-huh.

1297
01:14:32,200 --> 01:14:34,439
- Are these your flower petals?
- Yes.

1298
01:14:34,440 --> 01:14:37,166
- Now rub the dew. Ha, ha. Do the dew.
- Heh.

1299
01:14:37,280 --> 01:14:41,679
I'd be doing you a really big favor if I
just yanked these goofy things right off.

1300
01:14:41,680 --> 01:14:44,645
Oh, just shut up,
schlumpy shoulders.

1301
01:14:44,880 --> 01:14:48,239
- I do have schlumpy shoulders.
- No, you don't. They're very nice.

1302
01:14:48,240 --> 01:14:51,679
But you know what helps if you
need to work on your posture?

1303
01:14:51,680 --> 01:14:54,959
Here, just lift your arms a little bit.
Watch, I'll show you. Right...

1304
01:14:58,880 --> 01:15:00,411
Feels very good.

1305
01:15:00,560 --> 01:15:03,159
- You have nice shoulders.
- Really?

1306
01:15:03,160 --> 01:15:05,799
You really have a lot of muscle.

1307
01:15:05,800 --> 01:15:07,239
- Not as much as you.
- Heh.

1308
01:15:07,240 --> 01:15:10,039
From carrying that kid around
and smashing his head.

1309
01:15:11,360 --> 01:15:13,399
- Ugh.
- Oh, yeah!

1310
01:15:13,400 --> 01:15:16,080
Mr. Wernick. Those are not
your wife's shoulders.

1311
01:15:16,440 --> 01:15:18,165
Busted!

1312
01:15:18,760 --> 01:15:21,884
Loving it though. Respect the vision.
I get it.

1313
01:15:22,160 --> 01:15:23,850
- Gotta go for it, right?
- You do!

1314
01:15:28,280 --> 01:15:30,448
Whoa.

1315
01:15:30,520 --> 01:15:34,439
Mm. That was so relaxing.

1316
01:15:35,880 --> 01:15:38,719
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

1317
01:15:38,720 --> 01:15:42,720
I hope I put your pancreas
back where it belongs.

1318
01:15:42,800 --> 01:15:44,959
I don't even know where
it is right now.

1319
01:15:46,240 --> 01:15:49,919
- Are you my sexy little wormhole?
- Yeah, I'm your sexy little wormhole!

1320
01:15:56,440 --> 01:15:58,130
They have fun.

1321
01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,279
That's very pretty.

1322
01:16:11,680 --> 01:16:13,799
You were very nice. Thank you.

1323
01:16:13,800 --> 01:16:15,843
Heh. Oh, you know.

1324
01:16:16,160 --> 01:16:19,489
You're a strong woman.
Strong hands.

1325
01:16:19,960 --> 01:16:23,004
Mm. I'm glad you like my hands.

1326
01:16:27,000 --> 01:16:28,599
Daddy?

1327
01:16:28,600 --> 01:16:30,882
Can Lauren put me to bed?

1328
01:16:31,080 --> 01:16:34,682
Sweetheart, Daddy will put
you to bed in one second.

1329
01:16:34,960 --> 01:16:36,919
But I want Lauren.

1330
01:16:36,920 --> 01:16:40,602
Lauren... Another time,
Lauren will do that.

1331
01:16:40,760 --> 01:16:43,639
But I want her to put
me to bed tonight.

1332
01:16:43,640 --> 01:16:45,251
And Daddy said no.

1333
01:16:45,440 --> 01:16:47,279
- Mm!
- No.

1334
01:16:47,280 --> 01:16:51,079
- Mm!
- No!

1335
01:16:51,080 --> 01:16:53,931
I want Lauren.

1336
01:16:55,480 --> 01:16:57,728
I'm flattered.

1337
01:17:00,560 --> 01:17:03,331
That's good. You're all right.

1338
01:17:04,400 --> 01:17:07,809
Okay. How's that? Are
you all cozy now?

1339
01:17:08,200 --> 01:17:09,639
Yes.

1340
01:17:09,640 --> 01:17:13,322
Daddy? Can you give
us some alone time?

1341
01:17:16,120 --> 01:17:20,166
I could go to the bathroom outside.
Is that what you want? You got it.

1342
01:17:20,400 --> 01:17:22,284
Thrown out of my own tent.

1343
01:17:22,840 --> 01:17:24,690
I own him.

1344
01:17:25,040 --> 01:17:26,730
It seems that way.

1345
01:17:27,240 --> 01:17:29,920
Can you rub my head so
I have good dreams?

1346
01:17:31,760 --> 01:17:33,530
Of course.

1347
01:17:36,040 --> 01:17:38,004
What a cute little head.

1348
01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,763
Ew.

1349
01:17:43,120 --> 01:17:46,164
Couldn't go a little
further from the tent?

1350
01:17:46,440 --> 01:17:50,486
What do you want from me? There could
be gorillas out here, ready to kill.

1351
01:17:57,320 --> 01:18:01,639
Well, why don't you get them to
give you some Flomax or something.

1352
01:18:01,640 --> 01:18:04,286
Yep, getting older.
I'll give you that.

1353
01:18:04,920 --> 01:18:07,043
Can you sing to me?

1354
01:18:07,240 --> 01:18:09,249
Um, sure.

1355
01:18:10,320 --> 01:18:12,249
What should I sing?

1356
01:18:14,320 --> 01:18:21,085
Somewhere over the rainbow

1357
01:18:21,440 --> 01:18:25,281
Way up high

1358
01:18:25,720 --> 01:18:30,482
There's a land that I heard of

1359
01:18:30,760 --> 01:18:35,841
Once in a lullaby

1360
01:18:36,040 --> 01:18:39,959
Someday I'll wish upon a star

1361
01:18:39,960 --> 01:18:46,327
And wake up where the
clouds Are far behind me

1362
01:18:47,120 --> 01:18:51,239
Where troubles melt
like lemon drops

1363
01:18:51,240 --> 01:18:56,924
Away above the chimney tops

1364
01:18:57,160 --> 01:18:59,479
That's where

1365
01:18:59,480 --> 01:19:06,609
You'll find me

1366
01:19:35,200 --> 01:19:36,759
- There's a gorilla right there!
- Aah!

1367
01:19:36,760 --> 01:19:38,319
I'm just kidding! I'm sorry!

1368
01:19:38,320 --> 01:19:42,359
I'm sorry, I just couldn't handle how emotional
it was getting. I just... I'm sorry.

1369
01:19:42,360 --> 01:19:45,450
Get some rest. I didn't
mean to do that to you.

1370
01:19:54,360 --> 01:19:56,319
So get in your stance.
That's right.

1371
01:19:56,320 --> 01:19:58,959
And spread your legs just a little bit.
Like an inch.

1372
01:19:58,960 --> 01:20:01,199
Elbow up. It's all
about balance.

1373
01:20:01,200 --> 01:20:03,846
That's right. That's right.
Keep your weight right there.

1374
01:20:04,120 --> 01:20:05,879
How do you even play cricket?

1375
01:20:05,880 --> 01:20:08,039
We're not playing cricket.
We're playing baseball.

1376
01:20:08,040 --> 01:20:11,519
The only thing at the hotel they had
was this stupid battle thingamajiggy.

1377
01:20:11,520 --> 01:20:12,719
Who's that guy?

1378
01:20:12,720 --> 01:20:15,959
He's some guy named Dale. Uh,
he'll be pitching to you.

1379
01:20:15,960 --> 01:20:18,079
Yeah, in cricket we
don't pitch, we bowl.

1380
01:20:18,080 --> 01:20:20,279
Hey, Dale. How much
am I paying you?

1381
01:20:20,280 --> 01:20:22,960
Five Brooklyn T-shirts from
your sporting goods store.

1382
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:25,521
Okay, I'm gonna make it four
if you correct me again.

1383
01:20:26,040 --> 01:20:28,561
All right, Dale. Pitch...
Or bowl one in.

1384
01:20:31,120 --> 01:20:33,679
- I stink at this.
- No, it's not you. It's not you.

1385
01:20:33,680 --> 01:20:36,759
Dale, you think maybe you can
reach the plate? That would help.

1386
01:20:36,760 --> 01:20:39,167
Actually, in cricket
we bounce the...

1387
01:20:39,800 --> 01:20:41,319
I'll try. I'll try.

1388
01:20:41,320 --> 01:20:44,171
All right. Elbow up. Come on.
Get there.

1389
01:20:46,520 --> 01:20:48,319
I don't wanna do this!

1390
01:20:48,320 --> 01:20:49,679
Hey. What are you doing?

1391
01:20:49,680 --> 01:20:52,559
You don't throw your bat. Or
whatever this thing is called.

1392
01:20:52,560 --> 01:20:54,319
- A bat.
- Thank you.

1393
01:20:54,320 --> 01:20:58,286
You're an athlete. You're a sportsman.
You gotta respect your equipment.

1394
01:20:58,640 --> 01:21:00,479
- Yes, sir.
- We ain't leaving here...

1395
01:21:00,480 --> 01:21:03,650
till you hit the ball as
good as you ride an ostrich.

1396
01:21:04,240 --> 01:21:05,851
Pick up the bat.

1397
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:10,079
Hey. I know you're
up there all alone.

1398
01:21:10,080 --> 01:21:12,719
It's scary. You feel like
all the pressure's on you.

1399
01:21:12,720 --> 01:21:15,924
But guess what? The
pressure is on him.

1400
01:21:17,040 --> 01:21:19,481
Doesn't look like he's
feeling the pressure.

1401
01:21:22,160 --> 01:21:26,199
Oh, he's feeling it all right. He doesn't
think he can get the ball past you.

1402
01:21:26,200 --> 01:21:31,042
I want you to look him right in the
eyes and let him know you own him.

1403
01:21:32,600 --> 01:21:35,279
Go ahead. That's it, big time.

1404
01:21:35,280 --> 01:21:36,686
Give him the stink eye.

1405
01:21:39,960 --> 01:21:41,399
What's his problem?

1406
01:21:41,400 --> 01:21:43,599
Well, look at that.
You rattled him.

1407
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:46,804
Okay. Dale, pitch it
in if ya got the guts.

1408
01:21:49,600 --> 01:21:51,359
Whoa!

1409
01:21:51,360 --> 01:21:54,439
Yes! Did you see that?
I killed it!

1410
01:21:54,440 --> 01:21:56,199
Let's do it a
hundred more times.

1411
01:21:56,200 --> 01:21:59,239
If I hit like that, my dad's
gonna start coming to my games.

1412
01:21:59,240 --> 01:22:00,679
What's going on here?

1413
01:22:00,680 --> 01:22:03,486
Jim just taught me how to
make the pitcher my bitch.

1414
01:22:03,640 --> 01:22:05,046
Ah-ah-ah.

1415
01:22:07,120 --> 01:22:09,279
My brother doesn't need you
to teach him how to hit!

1416
01:22:09,280 --> 01:22:11,448
Okay. You wanna show
him how to do it?

1417
01:22:11,800 --> 01:22:13,079
Let's see what you got.

1418
01:22:13,080 --> 01:22:15,442
I don't need to prove
anything to you, d-bag.

1419
01:22:16,200 --> 01:22:18,846
Dale, did he really
just call me a d-bag?

1420
01:22:18,920 --> 01:22:20,963
This shit just got real.

1421
01:22:22,320 --> 01:22:23,759
I'm gonna kill you.

1422
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:26,930
Okay, we'll see. Let's get your gloves up.
Face protected.

1423
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:28,519
Kick his ass, Brendan!

1424
01:22:28,520 --> 01:22:30,679
- What's that?
- Kick his ass, Jim!

1425
01:22:30,680 --> 01:22:33,319
Uh-huh. Whoa! Whoa, whoa.

1426
01:22:33,320 --> 01:22:35,359
You see, you gotta
look at your target.

1427
01:22:35,360 --> 01:22:39,645
How about I put a picture of your babysitter
on my face? Will you look at it then? Huh?

1428
01:22:39,720 --> 01:22:42,359
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Just leave her out of this!

1429
01:22:42,360 --> 01:22:44,759
Use your right hand. You're
better with that one.

1430
01:22:44,760 --> 01:22:47,361
- All right, all right. Boom.
- Oh!

1431
01:22:48,280 --> 01:22:50,719
- You seem pissed at me.
- You just hit me!

1432
01:22:50,720 --> 01:22:53,799
No! Before that. Before that,
like when we first met.

1433
01:22:53,800 --> 01:22:57,919
- Just think that my mom could do better.
- First of all, she can't do better.

1434
01:22:57,920 --> 01:23:00,559
Because no one's better than me.
I am the greatest.

1435
01:23:00,560 --> 01:23:03,839
Secondly, I think it's nice that
you wanna protect your mommy.

1436
01:23:03,840 --> 01:23:05,279
I hate you!

1437
01:23:05,280 --> 01:23:08,370
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Calm down. Calm down.
That was good though.

1438
01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:11,399
Showing a little something in there.
Listen, being a man...

1439
01:23:11,400 --> 01:23:14,799
ain't about pissing and moaning
anytime something's bothering you.

1440
01:23:14,800 --> 01:23:18,243
It's about dealing with what's in
front of you. So deal with me.

1441
01:23:20,320 --> 01:23:21,601
Are you okay?

1442
01:23:22,720 --> 01:23:25,321
That was sneaky. But I'm fine.

1443
01:23:25,960 --> 01:23:28,561
Does that make me
a man now, Jimbo?

1444
01:23:29,440 --> 01:23:30,679
No.

1445
01:23:30,680 --> 01:23:33,565
Asking me if I was okay,
that was a start.

1446
01:23:34,880 --> 01:23:36,889
They are blending

1447
01:23:38,880 --> 01:23:40,809
They are bonding

1448
01:23:42,200 --> 01:23:46,291
Yeah, that's great. Didn't know you guys
worked out together, but it makes sense.

1449
01:23:46,640 --> 01:23:48,604
When one person

1450
01:23:48,760 --> 01:23:50,679
Meets another

1451
01:23:50,680 --> 01:23:53,121
Come together

1452
01:23:53,480 --> 01:23:56,399
Oh, they are blending

1453
01:24:03,760 --> 01:24:05,879
And then what happened?

1454
01:24:05,880 --> 01:24:11,199
The bowler threw it, and I
hit it like a mile away.

1455
01:24:11,200 --> 01:24:14,199
Yeah. And then Jim
taught me how to box.

1456
01:24:14,200 --> 01:24:17,599
And after 5 minutes, I
basically knocked him out.

1457
01:24:17,600 --> 01:24:18,799
Yeah!

1458
01:24:18,800 --> 01:24:20,809
Well, that was nice of him.

1459
01:24:22,360 --> 01:24:25,079
Kind of worked out well,
they came on this trip.

1460
01:24:25,080 --> 01:24:28,011
Yes, it did.

1461
01:24:43,720 --> 01:24:47,719
Lauren, you looked so hot in this
dress, I had to buy it for you.

1462
01:24:47,720 --> 01:24:49,719
And by "buy," I mean "steal."

1463
01:24:49,720 --> 01:24:51,729
Hope you're having
fun on my vacation.

1464
01:24:59,920 --> 01:25:04,479
So its tongue was ridiculous.
It got me, like, all over.

1465
01:25:04,480 --> 01:25:06,719
It was, like, in balls.
They were like:

1466
01:25:06,720 --> 01:25:10,129
Like a stem going against
each other, head-to-head.

1467
01:25:11,000 --> 01:25:13,799
Dad. Did you comb your hair?

1468
01:25:13,800 --> 01:25:17,239
No. Got out of the shower
like this, I guess.

1469
01:25:17,240 --> 01:25:18,851
You took a shower?

1470
01:25:18,920 --> 01:25:22,239
I shower! I'm allowed to shower.
My God.

1471
01:25:22,240 --> 01:25:25,919
- I haven't taken a shower since we got here.
- I know. You stink. I love it.

1472
01:25:25,920 --> 01:25:27,399
Yeah, I stink bad.

1473
01:25:27,400 --> 01:25:30,843
Yeah, you stink real bad.
Your breath smells terrible.

1474
01:25:34,240 --> 01:25:35,726
Where's Lauren?

1475
01:26:12,120 --> 01:26:13,319
Wow.

1476
01:26:13,320 --> 01:26:15,839
- Look at Mom.
- Hello.

1477
01:26:15,840 --> 01:26:17,405
Dad! Say something to her.

1478
01:26:18,000 --> 01:26:20,879
Yes, yes. You look
very, very nice.

1479
01:26:20,880 --> 01:26:23,526
Oh, well, thank you.
You showered.

1480
01:26:24,080 --> 01:26:27,599
Am I really known as the non-shower guy?
I shower all the time, guys.

1481
01:26:27,600 --> 01:26:28,759
No, he doesn't.

1482
01:26:29,960 --> 01:26:32,639
Ladies and gentlemen...

1483
01:26:32,640 --> 01:26:34,679
it's the final night...

1484
01:26:34,680 --> 01:26:39,359
of our blended family
experience here in Africa.

1485
01:26:43,240 --> 01:26:46,639
Our tradition is to invite the
kiddies to the pool area...

1486
01:26:46,640 --> 01:26:50,159
for our famous kids-only
safari buffet...

1487
01:26:50,160 --> 01:26:53,919
and 10-foot chocolate
rain forest fountain!

1488
01:26:53,920 --> 01:26:55,359
Can we go, Dad?

1489
01:26:55,360 --> 01:26:57,879
All right, go ahead. Stay
with you sisters though.

1490
01:26:57,880 --> 01:27:00,639
My boy here's a chocoholic.
You better watch out.

1491
01:27:00,640 --> 01:27:04,599
Or he's gonna jump in and come out
looking like a handsome Hershey bar.

1492
01:27:07,040 --> 01:27:08,730
Did you see that?

1493
01:27:09,000 --> 01:27:12,488
I made him smile. He tried not
to but he couldn't help himself.

1494
01:27:13,160 --> 01:27:16,489
- We're gonna be a great family.
- Yes, we are.

1495
01:27:18,040 --> 01:27:19,599
Love you.

1496
01:27:19,600 --> 01:27:23,486
All of the little
ones have gone.

1497
01:27:23,560 --> 01:27:26,331
Tonight the dining room is:

1498
01:27:26,960 --> 01:27:29,242
Adults-only.

1499
01:27:29,480 --> 01:27:31,959
Yeah, now we're getting there.

1500
01:27:31,960 --> 01:27:35,319
Let's have all you blended
lovers on the dance floor.

1501
01:27:45,800 --> 01:27:49,359
Love

1502
01:27:49,360 --> 01:27:53,963
Is a many blended thing

1503
01:27:55,600 --> 01:27:58,724
It's the April rose

1504
01:27:58,840 --> 01:28:00,759
That only grows In
the early spring

1505
01:28:00,760 --> 01:28:02,079
It's crazy, huh?

1506
01:28:02,080 --> 01:28:03,399
The song.

1507
01:28:03,400 --> 01:28:07,039
He took the word "splendid" and
replaced it with "blended."

1508
01:28:07,040 --> 01:28:09,639
So clever. It rhymes!

1509
01:28:09,640 --> 01:28:12,399
But, the real word
is "splendored."

1510
01:28:12,400 --> 01:28:14,329
So wouldn't it be "blendored"?

1511
01:28:14,680 --> 01:28:15,999
What's this now?

1512
01:28:16,000 --> 01:28:17,999
I'm just rambling. I'm sorry.
What...?

1513
01:28:18,000 --> 01:28:20,719
- Heh.
- Are you ready, Mr. Chiapetolis?

1514
01:28:20,720 --> 01:28:23,400
"Chiapetolis"? All right.
He finally got it.

1515
01:28:23,401 --> 01:28:28,559
- Heh. Ready for what?
- You scheduled a star-gazing experience.

1516
01:28:28,560 --> 01:28:29,886
So...

1517
01:28:30,040 --> 01:28:33,164
Mrs. Chiapetolis, would
you like to come join me?

1518
01:28:33,400 --> 01:28:35,639
- Oh. Yeah.
- All right.

1519
01:28:38,160 --> 01:28:41,639
Once

1520
01:28:41,640 --> 01:28:45,287
High on a windy hill

1521
01:28:45,640 --> 01:28:48,439
Or two hills, that's good

1522
01:28:48,440 --> 01:28:52,884
On a morning mist,
Two lovers kiss

1523
01:28:53,240 --> 01:28:55,159
Just a little bit farther.

1524
01:28:55,160 --> 01:28:57,119
- All right. Thank you.
- Okay.

1525
01:28:59,240 --> 01:29:01,044
Here we are.

1526
01:29:01,120 --> 01:29:03,004
Dinner for two.

1527
01:29:03,160 --> 01:29:04,439
Oh, yeah.

1528
01:29:04,440 --> 01:29:05,719
Wow.

1529
01:29:05,720 --> 01:29:06,999
This is good.

1530
01:29:07,000 --> 01:29:12,279
I gotta give it up to Dick. He's probably
the most romantic guy on the planet.

1531
01:29:12,280 --> 01:29:15,211
Yeah, he's got the moves.
No doubt about it.

1532
01:29:15,240 --> 01:29:18,399
I bet this is where he was
gonna ask Jen to marry him.

1533
01:29:18,400 --> 01:29:19,599
Maybe.

1534
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:22,799
We were able to get everything
you asked for this morning...

1535
01:29:22,800 --> 01:29:26,679
except the sticks of cheese
in the shape of a heart.

1536
01:29:26,680 --> 01:29:28,370
Cheese sticks?

1537
01:29:29,920 --> 01:29:31,559
Did you set this up?

1538
01:29:31,560 --> 01:29:33,205
I wanted a do-over.

1539
01:29:33,400 --> 01:29:35,204
For that first date fiasco.

1540
01:29:35,480 --> 01:29:36,966
I'm better than that.

1541
01:29:43,120 --> 01:29:44,367
Which means:

1542
01:29:44,640 --> 01:29:49,599
"Lovers long for the moment their
souls may blend in a whisper."

1543
01:29:49,600 --> 01:29:52,883
- Mm.
- May this be your moment.

1544
01:29:53,560 --> 01:29:56,879
Did you eat pork chops...

1545
01:29:56,880 --> 01:29:59,279
with tuna fish today at lunch?

1546
01:29:59,280 --> 01:30:01,679
- Yes, I did.
- I can tell.

1547
01:30:01,680 --> 01:30:05,965
Apologies. I will brush my teeth
presently, Mr. Lollipopolis.

1548
01:30:06,080 --> 01:30:09,239
I'd brush them twice. And did you
really call me "Lollipopolis"?

1549
01:30:11,000 --> 01:30:13,559
It's Theodopolis.
Just for the record.

1550
01:30:13,560 --> 01:30:15,569
I know. I just like
to have fun...

1551
01:30:15,720 --> 01:30:17,159
Jim Friedman.

1552
01:30:17,160 --> 01:30:20,045
- Wha...?
- What?

1553
01:30:20,120 --> 01:30:23,599
- That was good.
- Thank you, Mfana.

1554
01:30:30,600 --> 01:30:32,599
How about Thathoo
showing up everywhere?

1555
01:30:32,600 --> 01:30:36,441
They were in my shower this morning. I
had a very nice time with them too.

1556
01:30:39,160 --> 01:30:41,959
There she is. Oh,
thank you so much.

1557
01:30:41,960 --> 01:30:45,369
Hey, Bubbles. Nice wiggle, but
you grew a tail. Ha-ha-ha.

1558
01:30:45,880 --> 01:30:47,519
Here's looking at you.

1559
01:30:47,520 --> 01:30:51,167
No, really. Looking at you, because
you're actually looking at me this time.

1560
01:30:53,560 --> 01:30:55,000
You...

1561
01:30:56,280 --> 01:30:58,801
have the most beautiful...

1562
01:31:01,400 --> 01:31:02,681
kids.

1563
01:31:03,320 --> 01:31:06,046
- Oh. Thank you.
- Sure.

1564
01:31:07,360 --> 01:31:09,483
You're a great mom too.

1565
01:31:10,160 --> 01:31:12,840
You're a pretty
good mom yourself.

1566
01:31:13,320 --> 01:31:14,806
I'll take that.

1567
01:31:15,200 --> 01:31:17,639
Tyler has a playoff
game on Saturday...

1568
01:31:17,640 --> 01:31:18,887
Yeah?

1569
01:31:19,080 --> 01:31:22,363
and I think that...

1570
01:31:23,480 --> 01:31:30,199
for the very first time, he won't actually
be completely dreading it, thanks to you.

1571
01:31:30,200 --> 01:31:34,239
Tell your... His father the more he works with
him, the more he's gonna get confident...

1572
01:31:34,240 --> 01:31:36,839
the more he's gonna belt the
ball anytime he gets up there.

1573
01:31:36,840 --> 01:31:41,319
Yeah, well, his dad's not really
into working with him, you know...

1574
01:31:41,320 --> 01:31:46,162
because to do that, he'd have to show
up, which he's just not good at.

1575
01:31:46,200 --> 01:31:48,519
You gotta show up for your kids.

1576
01:31:48,520 --> 01:31:52,202
It should be boring how
reliable a parent is.

1577
01:31:52,920 --> 01:31:56,839
It's funny to me that some
people don't get that. You do!

1578
01:31:56,840 --> 01:32:00,919
I mean, your kid needs to come
first 100 percent of the time.

1579
01:32:00,920 --> 01:32:03,088
Absolutely. 99 percent.

1580
01:32:03,120 --> 01:32:07,239
One percent of the time, I think we
are allowed to get what we want.

1581
01:32:07,240 --> 01:32:09,759
Aah. God.

1582
01:32:09,760 --> 01:32:13,282
I forgot what it was
like to want something.

1583
01:32:13,720 --> 01:32:18,608
I vaguely remember
it feels good.

1584
01:32:30,000 --> 01:32:31,919
I can't do this.

1585
01:32:31,920 --> 01:32:34,282
I can't do this. I'm sorry.

1586
01:32:36,880 --> 01:32:40,323
I really... I'm... It's not you.

1587
01:32:43,720 --> 01:32:45,968
I thought I could do this.
I just...

1588
01:32:51,080 --> 01:32:53,009
Sorry about them too.

1589
01:32:55,480 --> 01:32:57,205
They're still awesome.

1590
01:33:04,080 --> 01:33:06,203
Sorry I did that to you.

1591
01:33:08,280 --> 01:33:10,323
He didn't kiss you?

1592
01:33:11,920 --> 01:33:13,531
He's an idiot.

1593
01:33:14,080 --> 01:33:17,919
Although, you have to admit. The
monkeys playing the violins and stuff?

1594
01:33:17,920 --> 01:33:19,610
That is hilarious.

1595
01:33:19,800 --> 01:33:22,439
I can't believe that we both
found these great guys...

1596
01:33:22,440 --> 01:33:24,439
and we're not gonna
end up with them.

1597
01:33:27,440 --> 01:33:29,085
Are you gonna get that?

1598
01:33:33,640 --> 01:33:35,968
Hi. It's not a good
time right now.

1599
01:33:38,120 --> 01:33:39,559
I L word you so hard.

1600
01:33:39,560 --> 01:33:42,359
And you know what? I am
gonna make L word to you...

1601
01:33:42,360 --> 01:33:44,079
for at least an hour and a half.

1602
01:33:45,800 --> 01:33:47,081
Okay.

1603
01:33:50,080 --> 01:33:52,039
That was my mom.

1604
01:33:52,040 --> 01:33:53,810
And she's doing good.

1605
01:33:55,320 --> 01:33:57,921
All right. I'm giving
Dick another chance.

1606
01:33:57,960 --> 01:34:00,606
To do what? Get rid of his kids?

1607
01:34:01,680 --> 01:34:04,406
I'm gonna meet his children.
Heh.

1608
01:34:05,120 --> 01:34:09,006
You should try saying that without
contorting your face so much.

1609
01:34:09,800 --> 01:34:12,287
I'm gonna meet his children.

1610
01:34:12,480 --> 01:34:14,762
Heh. Better.

1611
01:34:15,280 --> 01:34:17,005
I'm sorry about Jim.

1612
01:34:17,960 --> 01:34:19,446
Me too.

1613
01:34:44,040 --> 01:34:46,129
Why didn't you kiss her, man?

1614
01:34:47,760 --> 01:34:50,691
I couldn't. I just...

1615
01:34:51,640 --> 01:34:55,367
I was afraid it wasn't
the right thing to do.

1616
01:34:56,640 --> 01:34:59,286
What did Africa do to you?

1617
01:35:03,640 --> 01:35:05,808
- That doesn't hurt. Stop.
- Ow.

1618
01:35:06,120 --> 01:35:09,210
I'm trying my best.
Just sit still.

1619
01:35:09,320 --> 01:35:11,999
- Does it look pretty?
- It looks fantastic. Yeah.

1620
01:35:12,000 --> 01:35:13,850
Yay.

1621
01:35:14,200 --> 01:35:16,289
Ha-ha-ha. No.

1622
01:35:16,960 --> 01:35:19,639
- You look nice.
- Oh, thanks.

1623
01:35:19,640 --> 01:35:22,559
- Where you off to?
- Oh, I'm going on a date with Jake.

1624
01:35:22,560 --> 01:35:25,439
How can you go out with Jake?
He lives in Vancouver.

1625
01:35:25,440 --> 01:35:26,999
Hi, Mr. Friedman.

1626
01:35:27,000 --> 01:35:30,839
Yay there, Skeletor. Listen,
make sure plenty of beef.

1627
01:35:30,840 --> 01:35:32,883
Seriously. She's got
tryouts this week.

1628
01:35:33,160 --> 01:35:35,966
Lamb chops, pork chops, tri-tips.
You got it.

1629
01:35:36,040 --> 01:35:37,959
That's the way.

1630
01:35:37,960 --> 01:35:39,679
Garbage twisties?

1631
01:35:39,680 --> 01:35:41,679
- I don't know how to...
- You're awful.

1632
01:35:41,680 --> 01:35:43,199
Just fix it then.

1633
01:35:43,200 --> 01:35:45,402
So when are we gonna
see Lauren again?

1634
01:35:45,640 --> 01:35:47,799
Something happened
between you guys.

1635
01:35:47,800 --> 01:35:50,319
No. What are you, crazy?
Nothing happened.

1636
01:35:50,320 --> 01:35:52,679
Dad, come on. I saw the
way you looked at her.

1637
01:35:52,680 --> 01:35:55,439
- And I saw the way she looked at you.
- It's undeniable.

1638
01:35:55,440 --> 01:35:58,839
- You guys are infatuated with each other.
- Jake, butt out.

1639
01:35:58,840 --> 01:35:59,999
Sorry, sir.

1640
01:36:00,000 --> 01:36:03,839
Don't you guys have anything better to do
than look at people looking at each other?

1641
01:36:03,840 --> 01:36:06,039
Besides, what am I
supposed to do?

1642
01:36:06,040 --> 01:36:09,244
Change our whole lives just
because I'm in love with her?

1643
01:36:11,240 --> 01:36:12,680
Yes!

1644
01:36:15,120 --> 01:36:17,039
Wow.

1645
01:36:17,040 --> 01:36:19,599
Aah! So romantic!

1646
01:36:19,600 --> 01:36:23,168
Loving it! Taking a risk.
Go get her, baby!

1647
01:36:27,240 --> 01:36:29,799
I know I confused you.

1648
01:36:29,800 --> 01:36:32,890
I just had to make sure.

1649
01:36:32,960 --> 01:36:34,999
For my wife and for my kids.

1650
01:36:35,000 --> 01:36:37,885
And for your kids. And for you.
And...

1651
01:36:39,000 --> 01:36:41,239
Just so we have no lies.

1652
01:36:41,240 --> 01:36:44,279
It was me who drank
your beer at Hooters.

1653
01:36:44,280 --> 01:36:47,359
I don't know why I did that.
I get free beers there...

1654
01:36:47,360 --> 01:36:50,040
so it was just panic then.

1655
01:37:07,600 --> 01:37:08,881
Yeah?

1656
01:37:09,920 --> 01:37:12,282
This is 323, right?

1657
01:37:12,560 --> 01:37:13,966
Yeah.

1658
01:37:14,520 --> 01:37:16,449
I was looking for Lauren.

1659
01:37:16,880 --> 01:37:18,411
You and me both.

1660
01:37:19,040 --> 01:37:20,287
Jim!

1661
01:37:20,760 --> 01:37:22,928
Big time! Look at you!

1662
01:37:23,160 --> 01:37:25,647
Mom's not home. This is my dad.

1663
01:37:26,240 --> 01:37:27,441
Mark.

1664
01:37:27,640 --> 01:37:29,159
Yeah. Who are you?

1665
01:37:29,160 --> 01:37:31,089
Jim! The cool guy
from the safari.

1666
01:37:31,520 --> 01:37:34,041
Do you wanna "bowl"
me a few pitches?

1667
01:37:34,920 --> 01:37:37,441
I'm sure your father wants
to do that with you.

1668
01:37:38,200 --> 01:37:39,439
No, he doesn't.

1669
01:37:39,440 --> 01:37:42,246
No, no, no, no. Go get
your bat, big time.

1670
01:37:42,400 --> 01:37:44,279
Hey! We can all play!

1671
01:37:44,280 --> 01:37:46,482
I'll get Brendan's glove.
He never uses it.

1672
01:37:47,160 --> 01:37:49,919
Boy, he hasn't shut up
about that Africa trip.

1673
01:37:49,920 --> 01:37:52,851
Your kids are incredible.

1674
01:37:52,880 --> 01:37:54,119
Yeah.

1675
01:37:54,120 --> 01:37:59,199
That's why Lauren and I are, you know,
trying to make things work again.

1676
01:37:59,200 --> 01:38:00,640
For them.

1677
01:38:01,680 --> 01:38:04,079
- I didn't know that.
- Yeah.

1678
01:38:04,080 --> 01:38:06,039
I'll tell her you came by.

1679
01:38:06,040 --> 01:38:09,403
And I'll put these
in the bedroom...

1680
01:38:09,800 --> 01:38:11,968
next to where we make love.

1681
01:38:14,960 --> 01:38:16,571
Okay.

1682
01:38:18,960 --> 01:38:21,811
Tell Tyler I said goodbye.

1683
01:38:25,120 --> 01:38:26,685
Where's Jim going?

1684
01:38:27,360 --> 01:38:29,289
He had stuff to do, I guess.

1685
01:38:30,280 --> 01:38:32,639
- Can you and me play then?
- Yeah, of co...

1686
01:38:33,880 --> 01:38:36,447
Ooh. Saved by the bell.

1687
01:38:36,560 --> 01:38:38,330
Hey, what's up?

1688
01:38:38,680 --> 01:38:40,405
You busy?

1689
01:39:11,280 --> 01:39:13,767
- Hi.
- Oh, hi.

1690
01:39:13,960 --> 01:39:17,119
Is there a GQ photo
shoot going on here?

1691
01:39:17,120 --> 01:39:20,642
Oh, no. I'm just, uh...
I'm just chilling.

1692
01:39:21,000 --> 01:39:25,603
I'm sorry that took so long. Thank
you for watching after the boys.

1693
01:39:25,640 --> 01:39:29,399
I'm done now and I'm guessing you
have somewhere you gotta go so...

1694
01:39:29,400 --> 01:39:31,170
How do you always look so great?

1695
01:39:31,680 --> 01:39:35,039
Yeah? It's my haven't-washed-
my-hair-in-three-days look.

1696
01:39:35,040 --> 01:39:36,719
Thanks for noticing.

1697
01:39:36,720 --> 01:39:39,161
Heh. You're so funny.

1698
01:39:40,400 --> 01:39:42,919
It's hard for me to imagine
you with someone else.

1699
01:39:42,920 --> 01:39:45,559
Really? It wasn't hard for
you to imagine yourself...

1700
01:39:45,560 --> 01:39:47,719
with someone else when
you cheated on me.

1701
01:39:47,720 --> 01:39:51,319
You always bring it back to that. I
could say, "Hey, look at that house."

1702
01:39:51,320 --> 01:39:54,399
And you'd say, "Oh, we lived in a
house when you cheated on me."

1703
01:39:54,400 --> 01:39:57,239
Or I could say, "Pass that pickle."
And you could say, I don't know.

1704
01:39:57,240 --> 01:39:59,919
Something about a pickle
and you cheating on me.

1705
01:40:02,280 --> 01:40:04,679
It's fun to laugh with
you again, Lauren.

1706
01:40:04,680 --> 01:40:06,530
We used to do that all the time.

1707
01:40:06,720 --> 01:40:08,410
You brought flowers?

1708
01:40:09,640 --> 01:40:10,887
Yeah.

1709
01:40:13,440 --> 01:40:15,290
Why'd you bring flowers?

1710
01:40:15,560 --> 01:40:17,728
Because you deserve flowers.

1711
01:40:19,920 --> 01:40:23,681
Lauren, when you went away to
Africa, I did a lot of thinking.

1712
01:40:24,960 --> 01:40:28,799
You and I, we have so much
history together. Two boys.

1713
01:40:28,800 --> 01:40:30,119
One receptionist.

1714
01:40:30,120 --> 01:40:33,119
Look, I made a mistake!

1715
01:40:33,120 --> 01:40:36,239
You made it at least four
mistakes that I know of.

1716
01:40:36,240 --> 01:40:37,959
Made. Past tense.

1717
01:40:37,960 --> 01:40:40,003
I was a jerk.

1718
01:40:40,080 --> 01:40:42,806
Lauren, you were the
best thing in my life.

1719
01:40:42,880 --> 01:40:44,286
You and the boys.

1720
01:40:45,600 --> 01:40:48,804
And boys need their fathers.

1721
01:40:49,320 --> 01:40:50,726
They do.

1722
01:40:51,000 --> 01:40:53,362
I know that I'm a good father.

1723
01:40:53,680 --> 01:40:55,559
I just need to prove it to them.

1724
01:40:55,560 --> 01:40:58,081
Well, you can!
It's not too late.

1725
01:40:58,320 --> 01:41:00,279
Is it too late...

1726
01:41:00,280 --> 01:41:01,891
for this?

1727
01:41:03,280 --> 01:41:05,919
What are you doing?

1728
01:41:05,920 --> 01:41:07,599
I'm coming home, baby.

1729
01:41:07,600 --> 01:41:10,485
Oh! Mark! Get off of me!

1730
01:41:10,520 --> 01:41:12,449
You don't live here anymore!

1731
01:41:13,480 --> 01:41:14,920
Is there someone else?

1732
01:41:14,921 --> 01:41:19,364
Heh. No. And that's none
of your business anyway.

1733
01:41:20,640 --> 01:41:22,799
You're interested in
being a good father?

1734
01:41:22,800 --> 01:41:25,287
Tyler has a game on Saturday.
Be there.

1735
01:41:46,320 --> 01:41:47,851
Dad?

1736
01:41:48,120 --> 01:41:50,402
I didn't mean to wake you.
Sorry.

1737
01:41:51,800 --> 01:41:54,002
I was talking to Mom before bed.

1738
01:41:54,840 --> 01:41:57,759
- Mm-hm.
- And...

1739
01:41:57,760 --> 01:42:01,601
she says she has a
lot of stuff to do.

1740
01:42:02,840 --> 01:42:04,087
She does?

1741
01:42:04,720 --> 01:42:10,211
Yeah. So she might not be
able to hang around as much.

1742
01:42:13,280 --> 01:42:14,925
Okay.

1743
01:42:15,120 --> 01:42:19,245
She also said you need to increase
my allowance to 5 dollars.

1744
01:42:20,040 --> 01:42:22,129
She's very generous.

1745
01:42:26,320 --> 01:42:27,885
I just...

1746
01:42:30,720 --> 01:42:33,287
I don't want her to disappear.

1747
01:42:33,880 --> 01:42:37,959
Sweetheart, she's never
gonna disappear.

1748
01:42:37,960 --> 01:42:39,446
Never ever.

1749
01:42:40,040 --> 01:42:44,359
You can let her go. She
will always be right here.

1750
01:42:44,360 --> 01:42:47,803
And I will always be here.
I promise you.

1751
01:43:00,280 --> 01:43:02,239
By the way...

1752
01:43:02,240 --> 01:43:04,727
Mom loved the Africa trip.

1753
01:43:05,240 --> 01:43:06,885
So did I.

1754
01:43:10,360 --> 01:43:11,686
I miss her.

1755
01:43:12,200 --> 01:43:14,368
Your mother was the greatest.

1756
01:43:15,280 --> 01:43:17,084
I mean Lauren.

1757
01:43:20,480 --> 01:43:21,966
Me too.

1758
01:43:22,680 --> 01:43:25,645
We don't have to let
go of her too, do we?

1759
01:43:26,080 --> 01:43:27,930
Come here.

1760
01:43:39,120 --> 01:43:42,039
Brendan, don't forget that I'm
picking you up for Scouts...

1761
01:43:42,040 --> 01:43:43,685
so don't take the bus home.

1762
01:43:43,880 --> 01:43:46,879
Thanks for telling everyone
I'm still in Scouts, Mom.

1763
01:43:46,880 --> 01:43:49,481
You're a good boy. Be
proud of who you are.

1764
01:43:52,280 --> 01:43:53,925
Love you.

1765
01:44:12,880 --> 01:44:15,048
Say one word and you're dead.

1766
01:44:15,160 --> 01:44:17,522
You're driving a minivan.

1767
01:44:17,640 --> 01:44:19,159
It's Dick's.

1768
01:44:19,160 --> 01:44:22,523
I'm off to buy toilet paper
for Team Theodopolis.

1769
01:44:22,560 --> 01:44:26,159
When the team needs toilet paper,
the co-captain goes and gets it.

1770
01:44:26,160 --> 01:44:28,931
And believe me, those
kids never stop crapping.

1771
01:44:29,560 --> 01:44:31,439
Kids need to crap.

1772
01:44:31,440 --> 01:44:34,803
You need anything from Walmart?

1773
01:44:35,600 --> 01:44:36,847
I'm good.

1774
01:44:37,640 --> 01:44:40,844
- See you at the PTA meeting.
- Okay, foxy.

1775
01:44:54,920 --> 01:44:57,361
Yeah! Base on!

1776
01:44:57,720 --> 01:45:00,079
This is so good, honey.

1777
01:45:00,080 --> 01:45:03,204
- This is family.
- This is fun for me.

1778
01:45:08,000 --> 01:45:10,639
- Way to go, Dad.
- One out to go.

1779
01:45:10,640 --> 01:45:13,959
But Standard Fence
has a rally going.

1780
01:45:13,960 --> 01:45:19,359
Now batting, number
23, Tyler Reynolds.

1781
01:45:21,520 --> 01:45:24,879
- Hey, that's not nice!
- Shut up. That kid's awful.

1782
01:45:24,880 --> 01:45:27,319
Go Tyler!

1783
01:45:27,320 --> 01:45:28,760
Tracy.

1784
01:45:29,360 --> 01:45:31,369
What's your head doing here?

1785
01:45:51,600 --> 01:45:53,643
Strike one!

1786
01:45:53,840 --> 01:45:55,804
I'm so sorry Mark
didn't show up.

1787
01:45:56,040 --> 01:46:00,404
He just doesn't get it, you know? Your kids
have to come first 100 percent of the time.

1788
01:46:00,560 --> 01:46:03,570
Well, like, 99 percent. You
get one percent for yourself.

1789
01:46:04,320 --> 01:46:05,885
- That's great news.
- Heh.

1790
01:46:06,080 --> 01:46:09,489
Well, no matter what, you have
to show up for your kids.

1791
01:46:10,400 --> 01:46:11,879
Like him.

1792
01:46:11,880 --> 01:46:15,359
- Hey, hey! All right, big time!
- Come on, Tyler!

1793
01:46:15,360 --> 01:46:17,244
Looking good out there!

1794
01:46:18,880 --> 01:46:20,605
Get that elbow up!

1795
01:46:20,760 --> 01:46:22,166
Elbow up!

1796
01:46:22,320 --> 01:46:24,170
Incredible.

1797
01:46:29,600 --> 01:46:30,961
Come on, Tyler.

1798
01:46:33,240 --> 01:46:34,599
Strike two!

1799
01:46:34,600 --> 01:46:36,086
All right, all right!

1800
01:46:38,480 --> 01:46:41,719
Nice cut, nice cut. Slow
it down a little bit.

1801
01:46:41,720 --> 01:46:44,879
Bend those knees. Balance, okay?

1802
01:46:44,880 --> 01:46:47,479
Take care of this. That's it.

1803
01:46:47,480 --> 01:46:49,603
Elbow up. Higher, higher.

1804
01:46:49,920 --> 01:46:51,879
Now, remember the stink eye.

1805
01:46:55,400 --> 01:46:57,839
The mustache is rattled.

1806
01:46:57,840 --> 01:46:59,319
Come on, Tyler, let's go!

1807
01:46:59,320 --> 01:47:01,010
Take them deep.

1808
01:47:18,920 --> 01:47:20,201
You hit it!

1809
01:47:20,520 --> 01:47:22,279
Run, Tyler, run!

1810
01:47:30,200 --> 01:47:32,641
Keep going, brother! Go!

1811
01:47:33,480 --> 01:47:34,806
Go now!

1812
01:47:35,640 --> 01:47:37,729
Don't hesitate. Come, come!

1813
01:47:39,680 --> 01:47:41,679
Come to me, big time!

1814
01:47:41,680 --> 01:47:44,406
Go! Run to me!

1815
01:47:45,720 --> 01:47:47,479
Keep it going, Tyler!

1816
01:47:47,480 --> 01:47:49,489
We're going home, baby!

1817
01:47:49,720 --> 01:47:51,524
We're going home!

1818
01:47:53,040 --> 01:47:54,399
Safe!

1819
01:47:54,400 --> 01:47:56,409
Yeah! Yes!

1820
01:47:58,520 --> 01:48:01,041
Do you believe in miracles?

1821
01:48:03,960 --> 01:48:05,599
Yeah! Whoo!

1822
01:48:05,600 --> 01:48:09,247
Yeah! That's my brother!

1823
01:48:09,640 --> 01:48:11,604
Ha, ha! Whoo.

1824
01:48:12,080 --> 01:48:13,559
Thank you.

1825
01:48:13,560 --> 01:48:16,127
All you in there, big time.

1826
01:48:16,440 --> 01:48:18,404
Oh, my God!

1827
01:48:21,360 --> 01:48:22,891
What are you doing?

1828
01:48:23,640 --> 01:48:25,285
I love you!

1829
01:48:25,880 --> 01:48:27,879
That was amazing.

1830
01:48:27,880 --> 01:48:31,319
I'm so sorry to show up like this. I
was at your house the other day...

1831
01:48:31,320 --> 01:48:34,879
and I saw your ex-husband blow off
Tyler when he wanted to practice.

1832
01:48:34,880 --> 01:48:38,209
I know you guys are trying to work
it out, but it broke my heart.

1833
01:48:38,720 --> 01:48:41,491
We're not working it out.
That's never gonna happen.

1834
01:48:41,720 --> 01:48:42,967
Really?

1835
01:48:44,520 --> 01:48:46,961
What were you doing at my house?

1836
01:48:47,160 --> 01:48:49,806
I came by to tell you that...

1837
01:48:51,120 --> 01:48:54,164
I think it's okay now.

1838
01:48:55,000 --> 01:48:56,639
Okay for what?

1839
01:48:56,640 --> 01:49:00,399
Okay to have one of those
rare, rare moments...

1840
01:49:00,400 --> 01:49:02,329
where we get what we want.

1841
01:49:02,560 --> 01:49:04,759
Oh.

1842
01:49:04,760 --> 01:49:06,644
Well, what do we want?

1843
01:49:07,320 --> 01:49:09,170
You know what we want.

1844
01:49:10,280 --> 01:49:13,848
Yeah. I think the
kids want it too.

1845
01:49:14,160 --> 01:49:17,479
Not as much as I do there,
schlumpy shoulders.

1846
01:49:19,360 --> 01:49:21,050
Wait.

1847
01:49:21,640 --> 01:49:23,330
I can't do this.

1848
01:49:24,320 --> 01:49:25,521
You're kidding me.

1849
01:49:25,760 --> 01:49:28,959
Heh. Totally. I just had to
get you back for Africa.

1850
01:49:28,960 --> 01:49:30,241
Come on.

1851
01:49:39,960 --> 01:49:41,719
You know something?

1852
01:49:41,720 --> 01:49:43,959
Your mom is hot.

1853
01:49:43,960 --> 01:49:46,083
Your dad's pretty hot too.

1854
01:49:47,040 --> 01:49:48,679
Not hot.

1855
01:49:50,960 --> 01:49:52,559
Come on, you deserve
a nice massage.

1856
01:49:54,000 --> 01:49:56,519
- Ow! Oh, it's good.
- Come on, you like that.

1857
01:49:56,520 --> 01:49:58,961
- Oh, it hurts so good.
- Sorry.

1858
01:50:02,440 --> 01:50:04,319
Look, they're blending

1859
01:50:04,320 --> 01:50:06,199
Hearts are mending

1860
01:50:06,200 --> 01:50:08,479
Sad times ending
Good times spending

1861
01:50:08,480 --> 01:50:09,886
With love

1862
01:50:10,280 --> 01:50:12,479
Kids are friending

1863
01:50:12,480 --> 01:50:13,886
Wedding trending

1864
01:50:14,200 --> 01:50:18,239
Blending, friending, blending,
friending Movie ending

1865
01:50:18,263 --> 01:52:19,263
♪ Hope it helped -> bozxphd ♪