Shade [Katawa Shoujo Reimagined] - The Saga to Date

Lu-Uh-du-Uh-dub. Lu-Uh-du-Uh-dub.
My heart pounds in my chest...
Off-tempo and only barely doing its seemingly-basic job of moving my blood around - I hear its every movement slamming around in my eardrums.
For once, though - there's an actual justification for it.
Nervousness...
I'm following my new teacher up a stupidly oversized stairwell to meet my new class.
A new school... A new life...
Well... actually - not so much. More like just picking up the pieces of my old one and haphazardly sticking them back together with masking tape.
A life that shattered four months ago...
...
'Arrhythmia'. A strange word...
"Do you want to introduce yourself?" The freaky-looking teacher I'm following asks as he stops us before the doorway.
Snapping back into reality, I only barely register the question.



After a minute, I shake my head in response.
He accepts my answer before even I do and simply turns around with a nod.
Feeling a bit relieved that I won't have to give a speech, I sink back into my reverie.
'Arrhythmia'...
I mouth it soundlessly as I follow him through the door.
It's a word that's foreign to the tongue. A word you don't want to be in the same room with.
"We have a new student." He introduces me. "Class, meet Hisao Nakai."
With no small measure of reluctance, I force my head up and look over the class.
My new class.



The first thought that crosses my mind is that it looks more like a field hospital.
Practically everybody looks injured in some way:
There's canes and other supportive devices scattered about, a few bandages are decorating our otherwise drab olive uniforms.
There's more than one person who's completely missing some limbs.
This is... my new class?
...
'Eh?'
A small flash catches my vision for the briefest of instants.
At the back of the class, a dark-haired girl has made a movement with one hand as if to cover her face...
Ironically, that concealing motion is the one which caught my attention.
It's a movement I probably would like to make myself right now since I've got twenty-so pairs of eyes on me.
...
Probably not even pairs, actually - in a class like this, you can't even make the basic assumption that everyone has functioning vision...
...
Why is it so quiet?



Finally, the sallow teacher remembers that 'he's' the one who's supposed to be doing the introduction and gives a bland, generic-sounding tirade.
I don't really care. 'Less interesting' means 'less unwanted attention'.
The conclusion of his introduction is followed by a supposedly polite clapping-of-hands and banging-of-stumps.
This... is my new classroom?
"Nakai, you can sit over by Miss Hakamichi over there." He tells me, motioning towards a bubbly looking girl who looks almost ridiculously out-of-place in this sideshow act.
I only nod and begin mechanically moving forward.
'Arrythmia'... A strange word.
To me it's a word that sounds so much like a curse.


= New World ====================================


School life is mostly as I remember... Mostly.
Unwanted group work because it takes less time for the teachers to grade you in groups instead of individually.
I work with two girls, a busty deaf-mute named Shizune and a vivacious girl named Misha, who has bright pink hair styled into spiraling drills through some kind of horrible arcane process.
They're nice enough, but, well...
I'm still on edge.
On top of that, I've never really liked group work, to be honest...
Well, we manage to finish just a few minutes before the lunch bell rings.



Having assisted Mutou in his noble goal of fucking off work early, I reign in behind my newfound companions to go obtain something edible.
"It's the caf~e~te~ria!" Misha declares, exploding into the room with a disproportionate passion.
A few people glance over, but no one really pays it any mind, least of all her.
I can't help but smile at this strangely cheerful person.
Psychologists call this the 'Chameleon Effect' - the phenomenon of your emotions changing to mirror those around you.
If it does exist, then having someone like Misha around is definitely kind of a comfort.
Sadly, even Misha's borrowed exuberance comes crashing down when I read the cafeteria menu.
You don't even need medical knowledge to figure out that its main focus is to accommodate students who need special diets.
Half of the items available I wouldn't even normally consider 'food'.
How lovely.



Picking out a lunch at random, I follow them both to a table by the window.
I can't help but notice that the spaces between the tables are too wide...
Oh, I see. It's for the people who need wheelchairs.
I shake my head as I sit down across from Shizune.
This is my second chance at life?
How... foolish.
You can't really call this a 'second chance'.
"-an?"
I was naiive to even think that would be possible.
"HIIIICHAAAN~!"
?!?
Misha's lilting voice accompanied by a gunlike snapping sound thankfully pull me back before I really start to brood.



I look up into my drilled companion's bubbly smile. "You seem distracted, Hicchan. Is something on your mind?"
Too much.
I glance from Misha to Shizune to the cafeteria surrounding us and finally back to Misha.
My heartbeat's pounding in my ears again.
Too much new stuff, Misha.
I... I need something familiar.
"Is there a library in school?" I ask, praying that the world I knew hasn't been completely shattered.
Misha pauses.
I feel it took at least seven years for her to respond.
Finally, she cracks a smile in response and gives a jovial nod.
"WA~HA~HA! There is! Would you like us to show you?"
Nodding, I can't help but feel a wave of relief rush through me as I realize I can still have my shield of books...



Lunchtime manages to  be tolerable thanks to this.
Finishing, I hike back up to Mutou's classroom with Shizune and Misha in tow.
More at ease than when I left, I manage to arrive back at the correct classroom and slide through the partially open door.
...
There... At the back of the class I spot that same dark-haired girl again, reading a book.
I smirk a little to myself.
What a novel idea.
!!!
She practically leaps out of her seat as Misha smashes into the room behind me with the elegance of a rhino.



Misha and Shizune either don't notice or don't mind her, as they walk directly past her to their seats and begin to converse.
I'm left wondering about her, even as the classroom fills with other students and finally, the teacher.
Class proceeds at a bleary pace - towards the end I start yawning and counting the minutes left.
... I shouldn't be this tired on my first day of school...
Maybe it's my long stay in the hospital.
Maybe it's the new environment.
Maybe it's my condition itself.
But for whatever reason, I genuinely feel physically weak and lifeless.


= Dollhouse =========================================================


After class finally ends Shizune and Misha deign to show me to the head nurse's office.
He's an insufferably smug fellow, but he's efficient at least - and before I know it I'm out of there.
I can't play soccer but I should do some kind of 'light exercise'.
Up until thirty seconds ago, I would have considered soccer to be 'light exercise' but apparently not.
I didn't ask him about the distinction. I don't care.
I'm trying to avoid thinking about my heart condition, not center my life around it.



Arriving at my dorm, I fish out my key.
Looking up and down the hall, I note that it's only myself and one other person in residence here.
On impulse, I knock on the door across from me.
Best to greet my dorm-mate, I suppose.
After about fifteen locks snap back, the door creaks open and I'm greeted by a sallow corpselike entity.
I can't help but step back when confronted by the freakish figure before me.
His hair is irregularly styled upwards into twirling grimy spikes.
His skin glistens beneath multiple layers of partially-dried sweat.
The scent of garlic bellows forth from the darkened interior of his lair.
After I shake his filth-encrusted hand I have the burning desire to go wash. Or possibly cut my arm off.



I can't quite remember the specifics of what this hideous creature talked about, but thankfully, it was over quickly.
It seems my parents went to my room ahead of me.
Of course - god forbid I be entrusted with the grown-up task of unpacking.
Before retreating into his foul-smelling room, he lets me know that I shouldn't get to know him for my own safety.
Then he walks into the wall before fumbling for the doorknob and disappearing.
I realize he was trying to sound deep, but I opt to take his advice quite literally and resolve to avoid talking to this squalid person if at all possible.
Well, if I was hoping to attain a sense of belonging from the dorms, that idea was just shot down fairly quickly.
With a defeated sigh, I turn and head back into my own room.



My room... It's nobody's room.
An empty room - devoid decoration of any kind with purely utilitarian items scattered about.
Monotonous bland beige walls, of course.
The kind of hospital color scheme which is so innocuous that it comes right back around and starts being offensive again.
If hell is a real place, I'd bet money that the walls there are beige.
I look about to the few objects contained within this unroom.
My uniforms which I've never worn...
My bed which I've never slept in...
I yawn.
With a groan, I resolve to change this.
I need to feel more rested if I'm gonna blend in more naturally.
I choke in my pills and flop down onto the sheets.



...
...
...
There's a tingling sensation at the back of my head which never went away.
Finally accepting that I'm not drifting off to sleep as I intended, I lift an arm to my head and stare up at nothing in particular.
...
Christ, even the bare ceiling manages to feel unfamiliar.
I keep drifting further away from the world I knew.
After a while, I start to feel a burning sensation where my back meets the sheets.
Spreading along my skin and into my spine.
I shift over to my side and glance at the clock - 1:00am.
It's alright... I can still get a functional amount of rest if I manage to fall asleep soon.
I'm thinking way too much.
Running my mind in circles.
...
No, that side doesn't wanna work.
Try the other one.
...
These sheets are clean, right?
Are they too clean?
Something's itchy.
Ugh.
I slam my face down in my pillow, perhaps trying to knock myself out.
Doesn't work and I just glance over at the clock.
3:26.
Fuck it. I'm not getting any sleep like this. Might as well move around a little bit.
Rising, I dress myself in one of 'my' new uniforms and head out to explore.



Yamaku's grounds are quite spacious.
And as with most environments at threeish in the morning, it's completely deserted.
The world looks like a tabletop model.
All the buildings are there. All tools are neatly packed away. Window panes are gray in color.
It's like I've wandered into an oversized dollhouse.
I idly pass the time walking in massive concentric circles to get a feel for the grounds, stopping to rest atop a small hill when I run short of breath.
...
Really? I'm out of breath from just that?
Giving a wry smile at this reminder of my newfound mortality,  I watch the sun rise from my perch on the hilltop.


= Feint ==========================================


I never even bothered going back to my dorm since I knew leaving would only be that much harder.
Since I was already dressed for it, I just trudged straight from the grounds to class.
"WA~HA~HA~! HEYY HICCHAN~!" Misha greets me as if a long-lost friend, leaping up to her feet with a broad grin.
I don't even acknowledge her beyond a wave and flop down into my seat, resting my head against my hand.
Casting a bloodshot gaze about the room, I notice a girl wearing a knee-brace in much the same slouched physical position as myself looking straight at me.
Lazily, she tilts her head to the side before tossing me a wink and turning back to the front of the class.
She doesn't seem very energetic, either.
...
Heh.



Other than her, everyone else either doesn't notice or ignores the combination of my slovenly posture and sloppy state of dress.
I suppose I should have known better than to worry about standing out in this school, of all places.
Class starts without a hitch.
However, we hit one quickly enough after we get going.
I'd honestly prefer not to talk to anyone today since I'm still not entirely at ease here and on top of that, I know I'll be less than eloquent given that I haven't had any sleep since arriving here.
Sadly, I guess Mutou has something to do over the weekend and once again we're divided into groups.
Oh, come on, Hisao.
This is the second freaking day. No being antisocial.



"You look tired, Hicchan." Misha translates for Shizune as the three of us drag our desks together. Or maybe it actually was her talking?
Is there a way to tell?
"Couldn't sleep last night." I answer simply, deciding to leave out specifics.
"Aw. That's no good, Hicchan." Shizune (I think) replies through Misha. "A healthy sleep pattern is fundamental for full combat capacity~!"
... Yeah, that was Shizune.
"Forgive me." I answer her. "We you intending to go into battle?"
"Yep!"
"Really?"
"Of course! What is life if not a battle, Hicchan? You should always be ready for anything~!"
I can't really say anything to that and nod to Shizune, who smiles and adjusts her glasses in what I assume is her version of a victory-dance.
"WAHAHA! Ok! Now let's get to the mission, soldier!"
Feeling a little better as I resonate with Shizune's enthusiasm, we start on the assignment together.
After a bit, something dark flutters in my peripheral vision, catching my attention.
?



Out of the corner of my eye, I spot that girl with long dark hair rising from her desk before silently slipping out of the classroom door.
Nobody seemed to notice.
Odd.
It didn't seem like she was in any  group...
And the teacher didn't try to stop her, either.
Looking after her, I furrow my brow as I contemplate this situation.
"Hi... chan...?" Misha asks, raising an eyebrow at me with a confused expression. "Is something wrong?"
... "No, nothing."



The rest of the school day drags on with no events either good or bad.
Well, for me at least, a 'bad' event could be lethal, so I suppose I can be grateful.
Pleasure is the riddance of pain, as they say.
"Heyy, Hicchan~?" Misha perks up after class as we pack up to leave. "Are you free, now?"
?
Well, I was gonna try and sleep since I feel particularly dead, but I'm not sure if that counts as much of a plan...
?!?!
As I formulate a reply, Shizune strolls up behind me and seizes my arm, pressing it up against her chest.
Hey! I didn't say anything yet!
"Come on!" Misha emotes, joyfully skipping to my other arm and seizing it in a similar manner as Shizune. "Come play with us, Hicchan!"
...
Let's review:
I'm alone in an afternoon classroom flanked by two cute girls cuddling against my arms who are asking me to 'play with them'.
It's worth postponing a nap to investigate this storyline.



Sadly, though not unexpectedly, their intentions are revealed to be chaste after they lead me downstairs into a vacant classroom and begin setting up a board game.
"What is this place?" I ask, spotting several different board games tucked into the cupboard they withdrew this one from. "Some kind of game club?"
Misha and Shizune exchange a grin. "Aha, nothing like that, Hicchan, this is the Student Council Room. Shicchan and I are both members. Actually, Shicchan is the president."
"Ah. So... will anyone else be showing up today?"
"Hm... No, I don't think so, Hicchan..." She leans closer and grins. "That is, unless you're offering to join?! Are you?!? YAY!!!"
"Wait? What? No." I stammer out.
"Aw... Really, Hicchan? You don't want to play with us?"
"Those questions are not synonymous."
Misha puts her hands on her hips. "Alright Hicchan. How about this: If we win this game, you have to join the Student Council!"
"I don't even know what game we're playing yet."
This tirade of illogical counterarguments continues for several minutes before I can finally get them to agree to a friendly game with no strings attached.



We decide on a game called Risk - one of those Wartime Strategy Games where you take the role of a malevolent god sending hordes of impressionable youngsters to horrifically slaughter each other while you eat hot pockets and laugh.
I don't fare so well. Shizune perfectly repels my initial assault and before I know it, I'm scrambling to defend my own territory.
Defend... Defend... Can't lose any more ground.
A few moves later, she's utterly crushed me.
"Tsk, Tsk, Hicchan!" Shizune scolds me through Misha. "You'll never make student council unless you learn to be more daring!"
"... Out of curiosity, do the other potential candidates have to go through this selection process, too?"
Pursing their lips, the two exchange a glance as if my fairly straightforward question could somehow have multiple interpretations.
After a minute, Shizune makes a couple gestures and Misha snaps back to me.
"WA~HA~HA~! Yup! Yes they do~!"
"Well, you won't get many new members if the selection process is this arduous... Shizune seemed unbeatable there."
She adjusts her glasses at this. Yeah, that's her victory-dance.



"That's alright, Hicchan!" Shizune philosophizes through Misha. "I'd rather have a dedicated small unit than a big, unwieldy army!"
I shrug. "Actually, speaking historically, nations who fielded large armies of shit had a higher wartime success rate than those with a smaller warrior caste."
This past spring, I was a confined teenage boy with  a shelf full of history books and limitless boredom.
Time to shatter some illusions.
Shizune stops her preening dead as Misha translates.
It's at this moment that I realize Misha's signing is apparently an automatic process, as she raises an eyebrow of her own when she finishes. "Eh? Really, Hicchan?"
"Really."
Whether we're talking about the Americans versus the British, the Dutch against the Spanish, or the Russians versus the Germans - as a general rule of thumb, the volume of soldiers has historically mattered more than their actual quality.
As with most things, facts of reality would not make interesting movies.
You don't strictly 'need' professional soldiers who devote their life to killing.
Killing is easy.
I should know.
I've seen the fragility of life firsthand.
...
I try to keep myself from becoming melancholy as I proceed to explain all of this.
It's tricky.



...
"Anyways." I perk back up, feeling quite tired and starting to slide into my brooding mode. "Congratulations on your victory." I tell Shizune as I turn to leave.
?
A force tugging on my sleeve stops me. Further inspection reveals it to be her hand.
"We were only teasing, Hicchan..." She informs me through Misha, who actually looks apologetic as she acts out Shizune's words. "We'd be really happy if you'd join."
... I can't just outright refuse Misha's pleading face. "I'll keep the offer in mind." I say ambiguously. "For now, I think I need to sleep."
If either of them found that comment strange, they hide it well.
"Night-night, Hicchan!"
Shizune waves.
Smiling back at these two, I head out of the double doors.
I'll just go quickly pick up some books at random and then I'll get back to my dorm to try and rest.



After a few moments, my sojourn to the library is offset by certain hitherto unnoticed procedural errors.
The most detrimental of which is the fact that I don't know where the library is.
Hm. Not as planned.
After my traditional technique of 'wander aimlessly' fails, a half-open door catches my attention.
The room doesn't seem as if it's large enough to be a library, but if nothing else I can probably ask directions.
Ask directions?
What if I interrupt someone doing something important?
I freeze.
...
Dammit.
It makes no sense, but the feeling of being an outsider to this school just can't be shaken from my mind.
It's so pervasive that I'm afraid of committing some kind of transgression just by the simple act of entering.



Gingerly, I press my fingers up against the door as if expecting it to suddenly catch fire.
It gives way with minimal pressure and creaks as it swings inwards.
With no small amount of trepidation, I poke my head inside to gain sight within the room as quickly as possible...
And the timid 'hello' forming on my lips completely dissipates.
...
This is... not what I was expecting.


= Mare Tranquillitatis =============================================


Nestled within the light as if being one with it...
I find a slender figure seated before an illuminated window.
A radiant girl - with clear porcelain skin and goldenrod hair cascading in waves down her back.
My breath is stolen away by the sight of this beautiful girl before me.
In a motion of delicate ease, she sets down the tea cup she was holding as if in acknowledgement of my presence.
...
The movements of her lips seem to break the silence moreso than her actual words.



She speaks...
"Shizune, if that's you, I will murder your family with a shovel and burn down the hospital you were born in. I will destroy all record that you ever existed-"
Suddenly, she cuts herself off -
!?!
Heart pounding in my chest, I shake my head from side to side as time apparently resets itself.
...
In a motion of delicate ease, she sets down the tea cup she was holding as if in acknowledgement of my presence.
Huh? Did that actually happen?
The girl repeats the motion I could have sworn I just witnessed her complete.
What... Was that? Some kind of sleep-deprived hallucination? A bizarre signal I somehow received from an alternate reality? Nah. That's just crazy talk.
Damn, I need sleep.



For the first or perhaps second time, she speaks.
"Hello there. May I help you?"
"O-Oh." I stumble, hurdling my exhausted brain into gear. "Sorry for intruding. I was just kind of lost."
Her hair flutters ever so slightly as she nods in acknowledgement before gesturing to an open seat on the side of the table opposite to her.
"Would you care to take a seat?"
As her eyelids open, I can make out a pale cloudy hue floating atop her otherwise cerulean-colored eyes.
I nod, trying to catch her gaze.
I'm at least perceptive enough to tell she's not looking at me. Or at anything. She's staring straight ahead of her...
Then I remember where I am.
Oh, I see... This girl must be blind.



As I sit, she rises.
"Please." She emotes, gesturing outwards with an open palm. "Have some tea."
I blink in startlement as she rises from her chair with an unnatural degree of grace, as if following the carefully choreographed motions in a scripted dance.
I feel myself grow calmer watching her.
"I'm Lilly Satou." She introduces herself after a moment as she hands me a cup and saucer. "Pleased to meet you."
I take it breathlessly. "Hisao. Hisao Nakai."
She nods in acknowledgement as she sets herself back down into her seat.
I can't help but stare at this beautiful girl against a backdrop of sunlight.
She looks almost... holy.



Time passes in a tranquil blur.
We speak of this and that. Of nothing in particular.
And moreover of subjects which do yet have some import.
From her I learn that it's not compulsory to join a club.
That's a welcome relief. It's enough to have Shizune and Misha breathing down my neck without adding faculty to the mix.
Turthfully, I don't want to join a club: I've had the myth of clubs shattered before my eyes.
The 'community' they're supposed to cultivate is fake.
Not one single member of my old soccer club visited me when I was in the hospital.
...



"Hi... sao?" The blind girl vocally prods me as if somehow sensing my mood.
... I have no idea what my tell was.
Did she hear me gritting my teeth? Did I spill my tea? Bang the table with my knee, perhaps?
In need of a deflection, I cite the first thing that comes to mind.
"Do you come here often?"
She nods, apparantly not confident enough in whatever her detective method was to pursue a conversation with it. "I do. Nearly every day, in fact."
"Ah." I say, finishing my tea and placing it back onto its saucer. "I can see why you would. This is a nice place."
Not a word of that is a lie.
There's a definite sense of serenity permeating the room...



Lilly has an arrestive calming presence about her.
Whether it's because of her beauty, her soft tone of voice, or her delicate mannerisms...
For whatever reason, I find it very easy to relax in her presence.
...
More time passes,  then-
"Huh." I notice the sun setting through the window. "Time's gone by quickly."
"Pardon?"
Oh. Right. She can't see it... I feel as though I've committed a faux pas, but answer her all the same.
"Oh, the sun's setting."
I make it sound as nonchalant as I can, but to my surprise, she raises a hand to her lips in an expression of mild alarm.
"Oh! Dear me."
Nice work, His-
"I'm so sorry, Hisao. I didn't mean to keep you from the library for so long."
Huh? 'That' is what she was worried about?



"No worries." I reply, becoming a bit apologetic myself for flustering her. "It's still open, right?"
I take note of her fingers deftly flicking to a braille watch beneath her sleeve.
She then smiles and nods. "Yes - you still have half an hour, about. Shall I show you where it is?"
"Oh."
I honestly wouldn't mind spending some more time with her... But...
I'm probably being a bother.
"It's no trouble, Lilly. I'm sure that I can-"
"I insist." She speaks, rising and extending a thin navigational cane. "It's the least I can do to make up for detaining you like this, Hisao."
... Best. Detainment. Ever.
"Well, when you put it like that, it's hard to refuse."
Together, we leave the peaceful room and exit our impromptu sanctuary in search of the library.


= Shared Library ===================================


Paradoxically, my search for the library goes much more smoothly while being led by the blind.
I guess old sayings can't always be said to be accurate.
Entering it - I'm quite pleased to find Yamaku houses a true 'library'.
Not at all like my improvised storeroom back at the hospital - it's both spacious and, from the look of it, quite well-stocked.
... I wonder if anyone uses that place now...
"Yuuko?" Lilly calls as we enter, apparently unable to perceive the room's vacancy.
BANG!
Both of us jump slightly at a cacophonous smacking sound followed by another dull thud as a purple figure tumbles out from beneath the reception desk.
"Owie..."
Oh, it's a person?
Indeed it is - a redhead with freckles and glasses, who convulses slightly before looking up.
"L-Lilly!" She squeaks before staggering to her feet.



It takes a moment to elaborate the situation to the somewhat-puzzled-looking blonde at my side.
Afterwards, introductions are in order:
I learn that this nervous-looking redhead is Yuuko, the Yamaku librarian.
I learn that Lilly regularly imports English books for the visually impaired.
I learn that Yuuko suffers from anxiety problems and desires to quit but can't because of her financial situation.
I learn that she keeps a rather large stack of yaoi yandere doujins on her work desk and accidentally checked some of them out instead of reference textbooks earlier.
I walk the hell away before I learn anything else which'll keep me awake with fear tonight.
Leaving the girls to chat, I head down the book-lined corridors, breathing in that comforting musty smell.
?
I recognize that figure nestled in the back corner.



I find that wraithlike girl from my class nestled comfortably into a beanbag at the back corner of the library.
Her flowing dark hair flutters ever so slightly through the ribbons of stale sunlight as she delicately flicks through the pages of her book.
I can only see small snippets of her skin, but from what I can see she appears quite pale; it contrasts sharply with the dark blanket of her hair.
That wispy figure resting against the plush beanbag chair... looks as if a shadow given form.
I get a strange feeling from her... A calmness somehow different from Lilly's radiance...
"!!!"
A serenity that breaks in an instant.



The girl suddenly jumps, looking straight at me.
It's at this moment that I realize I've been dazedly walking straight towards her while I was thinking.
And now I've seized her attention before I was ready to say anything.
Yeah... 'seized' is definitely the right word here for its forceful implications. Her head jolts up as she locks her gaze directly on me with an almost fearful expression.
I move to greet her, but stop suddenly.
Beneath her hair, I can now make out that almost half of her face is discolored and leathery...
It looks familiar somehow, giving me a strangely sickening feeling.
Suddenly, my eyes meet hers and I realize how horribly tactless I must have been just now - soundlessly walking up to her and stopping my greeting dead the instant I saw her face.

[] Hi! I'm new here. Hisao Nakai? We're in the same class...
[] Oh! I'm sorry! I didn't mean to startle you.


= Atrophy =============================================


"Oh!" I force a sound out of my mouth just to kill the awkward silence. "I'm sorry... I... hope I didn't startle you."
"It's... ok."
She clams up instantly after this terse riposte.
...
When you're meeting someone new, silence seems to have a visceral texture.
"So..." I try again.
Her gaze isn't oppressive at all, it's actually the opposite: I kind of feel like I'm giving her the silent treatment even though she's the one staying quiet.
"Is it ok if I sit here?" I ask, indicating the beanbag chair at her side.
She freezes dead for several seconds... and then finally, almost imperceptibly, issues a small nod.
I settle myself down next to her.



As I sit down, she never lifts her gaze from me once - or even blinks.
Did I seriously scare her?
I know I wasn't the smoothest just now, but I wouldn't say I was outright creepy.
"So... Sorry for scaring you again. Um... I'm Hisao, hi."
"I... k-k-know. We're i-in t-the same, tt-t-th-he same, s-s-same c-class."
With quiet, stilted words, the clearly nervous girl haphazardly tumbles over her own speech in response.
"Hanako. My name... it's Hanako."
"Oh." I muse just to have something to say."That's a nice name. What characters is it written with?"
"..."
[INSERT CULTURAL TRANSLATION PLACEHOLDER]
She volunteers nothing else.
A one-sided inquiry like this is an interrogation - not a conversation, and really I'm not such a mean-spirited person as to enjoy that sort of thing.
Deciding that I'm only going to be bothering her, I shrug and gesture to the bookshelves adjacent to us. "Don't mind me. I'll just... check these out."
She nods, visibly relaxing as I retreat back a few steps.



I retreat a little bit, but stay within visual range, a bit intrigued by this strange girl.
Looking her over, I feel like such an idiot, being as perplexed as I am with her scars.
Everyone in Yamaku is defective in some way; it's kind of the reason we're here.
Yet - her level of physical disfigurement strikes me moreso than anyone I've met thus far.
I'm not entirely sure why.
It might be the contrast.
Hanako... Between her alabaster skin and ebony hair she'd probably be very pretty if she didn't look as though she'd taken a grenade to the face.
As for her figure...
?
Although it seemed relaxed to me at first, I now find her posture to be extremely rigid.
Suddenly a slight flicker of color resulting from Hanako's eyes jumping directly from her book to me reveals why.
It's my presence.
She was only pretending to immerse herself in 'the Porcelain Knight'.



As our gazes meet, she practically leaps up from her beanbag chair, taking a deep breath.
"I... I..."
"'I'...?" I echo her.
"IVEGOTTOGODOSOMETHING!"
She suddenly bolts off to the side with the alarmed rapidity of a frightened rabbit.
"H-Hey! Wait!" I call after her, starting to follow after her and hoping I haven't committed some kind of terrible faux-pas.
Pushing myself, I accelerate to a dash as well-
?!!
And slip.



As I try to make a sharp turn in pursuit of her, my ankle slips off to the side and my top half careens along with my centrifuge directly into a bookshelf.
BANG.
A sharp wave of needle-like pain bursts out from the side of my head as I slam downwards.
Unceremoniously, I smack into the floor tangled up in my own limbs, the world now glossed over in a haze.
"FFFFFFUCK~!" I whimper out despite my best efforts to stay silent.
Pain has a way of breaking down inhibitions.
"Hisao?!" I pick up two female voices in unison.
Lilly and Yuuko?
I ignore them; My attention is elsewhere.



The pain itself is only a secondary distraction.
Every ounce of my awareness is firmly locked onto my heartbeat.
My heart.
My chest... Did I hit it?
Lu-lu-lud-dub-ludub. Lu-lu-lud-dub-ludub.
With my condition, the rhythm itself means basically nothing, but I pay close attention to the timing.
...
It's normal.
"Ow..."
Relief and pain flood into me as one.
I only hit my head.
Hard.



? I detect a soft force on my arm.
"Hisao?! Are you alright?" A shaky voice asks.
Lilly?
My eyes refocus on her genuinely worried visage.
I'm almost touched that she can show earnest concern for someone she just met earlier today.
"Ah... Ahaha..." I turn to her, flashing a reassuring smile without immediately realizing the futility of such an action.
It comes out as a much broader smile than I intended, more like a maniacal grimace.
In spite of myself, I start laughing.
I'm relieved...
I'm actually relieved that I 'only' smacked my head on the edge of a bookshelf.
"Hahaha!"
Am I really so close to death that 'this' is a relief?
"AHAHAHAHAHA~!"



Lilly's eyes widen in surprise while the redhead who can actually see me shrinks back from such an aberrant sight.
I pull myself free of Lilly's thankfully light grasp and lever myself up against the bookshelf.
"Hisao?! Do you need the Nurse?"
"Aha! Ha? Oh... nah... I'm fine, Lilly... Just need some air..."
Fighting down tearful giggles, I lumber off, piecing together what just happened through waves of inappropriate hysteria.



I was chasing after Hanako... No, just 'starting' to chase her.
And when I tried to make a sharp turn - my ankle gave way.
I can still stand, so I didn't twist it or anything... It just literally gave out.
Maybe it was because my muscles atrophied in the hospital.
Maybe I was uncoordinated due to lack of sleep..
Or perhaps it was just because my messed-up heart couldn't give me enough oxygen on short notice and I got dizzy.
Whatever the reason, I just got hurt because my body was weak.
No... Worse than that.
Not only did I just almost brain myself, but I also scared Hanako and probably freaked the fuck out of Lilly.
...
I feel horrible in every possible way.



Biting my lip, I head off to my dorm and lock myself in without turning on the lights.
Taking a seat against the wall, I yank a sheet off my bed and wrap myself in it.
Alone in the dark, hating myself for my own fragility, I spend a good length of time sobbing into my knees.


= Early Bird ==========================================================


The night dragged on slowly, so slowly.
I never got to sleep - just kind of sat there.
I tried to read but quickly learned that all it does when sleep-deprived is give me a splitting headache.
...
'Finally' I noticed it was morning and pulled on my uniform to go walk the grounds.
It's still quite early and before I know it I'm already looking over Yamaku's morning facade.
Well, since I'm up before class anyways, I'd very much like to find Hanako and apologize for yesterday.
As a rule, when you spook someone badly enough that they yell and run away, you have made some variety of non-negligible faux-pas.
... Dammit. Morning sunlight hurts.



Meandering about somewhat stupidly, I can't spot Hanako anywhere.
...Wait...
Why did I think I was going to find her just by aimless searching?
I... really am not thinking rationally.
Coming back to reality, I find myself heaving at the top of the hill overlooking the athletic grounds.
No way she'll be there.
Actually, pretty much no one is - I make out a single petite figure gracefully bounding around the track but it's otherwise empty.
I guess I forgot how early it still was.



The nurse did tell me I should get some exercise, but I feel as if I might collapse already.
Despite my state of mental fatigue, I'm still counting my heartbeats, so I can tell it's normal.
Well, whatever 'normal' means for me, at least.
I guess it's just my meds. Or my mind. Or losing my mind because of my meds.
...
I wanna pass out.
Maybe I can springboard into a nap using a food-coma?
Although I'm not really hungry, I decide to try it and head over to the cafeteria.



Arriving as early as I have, I ascertain the cafeteria itself to be rather sparsely populated and, better yet, that the handful of food items which are actually edible are all available.
Picking up some veal cutlet bread and milk, I move out of line, looking around for either Hanako or Lilly.
No such luck, at this hour even early-bird students wouldn't be here yet.
I do, however, spot one familiar figure: That sleepy-looking girl I noticed in class yesterday.
Since I'm at least a little curious about why someone else would be here at this dreadful hour, I head over to her table and pray there's not some unknown complex procedural rite involved with speaking to her as well.



Reaching her, I find her resting her head on the table with her body wrapped in a blanket.
Huh?
Was... she keeping that in her bag?
"Morning?" I probe.
In a dazed motion, she looks up at me and blinks a few times before responding. "Oh. Good morning. You're Hisao, right?"
I nod, a little pleased that she remembered my name.
"I'm Suzu. Suzu Suzuki." In a motion that seems to take her far more effort than it should, she reaches over to shake my  hand - then stops midway when she notices my hands are full.
Her lips form a wry grin as she simply squeezes my wrist instead. "Nice to meetcha."



"Likewise." I answer. "So... is it ok if I sit here?"
"Go for it."
I don't need to be told twice, half-sitting, half-falling in the chair adjacent to her.
My body feels as though it's made of jelly.
The veal bread isn't that big... but I'm not feeling particularly hungry...
I think one of my medications' side-effects was nausea? Maybe? I really should have paid closer attention to those.
Well, shame to waste it.
"Want some?" I ask her.
The girl named Suzu tosses me a half-smile. "I guess I wouldn't say 'no' if you're offering."
It's weird, actually - she's behaving as if I genuinely did wake her up but she doesn't seem the least bit bothered by it.
Deciding it's too early to play detective, I file it away and split the bread before tossing her a half.



Taking a few mechanical bites, I prop my hand on my head, staring off into space.
"Trouble sleeping?"
I jump a little as Suzu questions me with a mildness that belies her accuracy.
"Gold star." I force a smirk. "What gave me away?"
She returns the gesture. "I guess you could say I'm class 3-3's resident expert on sleep trouble."
"Lofty title."
A shrug.
"I was thinking about 'Liege of the Viridian Nightmares" but I wanna get some feedback first."
"Why Viridian?"
"Long story."


= Tonality ======================================


I'm not sure what to say in response to Suzu, who tosses me a smile which I can't tell between being either genuine or forced.
Asking about this sort of thing still kind of feels like a taboo.
Luckily, she absolves me of the responsibility to ask and segues into a different topic which I really can't focus on at all.
As we speak, I look her over: her hair's of a similar tone to Shizune's, maybe a bit lighter, but much less well-brushed, jutting and wavering about.
There's a dark tint around her eyes - which are focused on me, but are far from analytical in nature - their texture resembling wisps of a cloud.



It's at this moment that I realize I'm staring and hastily try to look engrossed in the divine mysteries of my bread.
Having just woken up, though, she seems only barely more attentive than me and either doesn't notice or doesn't care enough to say anything.
Or maybe she just didn't want to tease me this early.
No matter which way you look at it, I'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth.



"Sorry you got dropped in like this." I come back to the world as she makes an out-of-place comment. "I know Mutou's not exactly the easiest teacher in the world."
As she speaks, I can't help but notice how she keeps her head propped between her hand and her shoulder - even though her eyes are on me.
Am I that boring?
"It's fine." I reply. "I can keep up."
"You're about the only one, then." She muses with an exasperated expression.
Huh. Well I wouldn't exactly say physics is that hard.
It's just applied math. Anyone can do that. It's just patterns and formulas, like phrases in a language.
I've been going over it in the hopes that the monotonous repetitions will help me fall asleep...
?
As I ponder this, the bell rings, signaling us to class.



I'm definitely not feeling it today, but I still want to try catching Hanako.
I groan and lever myself up off the table.
"Well, speak of  the devil. I guess it's time for him now."
Suzu doesn't rise, keeping her head nestled within her arms same as before.
"Are... you coming?"
"Eh?"
At this, she looks at me. Then glances down, seeming as though going to class was an idea she was only haphazardly toying with.


= Hollow Solidarity ============================


"Hey, don't be a stickler. I'm going and I don't really feel that passionate about today either."
She looks at me, blinking slowly a few times.
"You really want to live with the guilt of being a bad influence on the new guy?"
"Ok..." She decides a bit reluctantly.
With even more effort than it took me, the girl pushes herself off the table into a standing position.
It's at this moment that I notice she's wearing a knee brace.
I decide not to ask. She didn't press me on my circumstances, so it'd just be plain rude to do it myself.
After Suzu folds up her blanket and crams it into her bag, we take leave and head up to class 3-3 together.



About ten minutes after class starts, Hanako slips in and takes her seat.
The teacher doesn't comment on her truancy and nobody even looks at her.
... How...
You'd think a school for the disabled would be more attentive.
Mutou stops his lecture mid-sentence to tell us we're going to break into groups again.
He then sits down at his desk and begins reading an academic journal in Norwegian for a couple minutes before looking up confusedly and remembering that he has to actually give us the assignment.



Although he's certainly intelligent, Mutou's completely disordered approach to life makes him feel as though he's a malfunctioning robot moreso than a person.
We break into groups and I'm quickly corralled by Shizune and Misha.
Suzu seems to have fallen asleep at her desk. I could go for some of that.
Hanako, at the back of the class, remains aloof from the commotion.
No one's even seeming to acknowledge her.



"Hey. Her, over there..."
Misha follows my gaze across the classroom directly past Hanako and then back to me. "Huh? Who, Hicchan?"
"Her. Hanako." I make a motion towards her...
"Oh! Yes, Hicchan?"
"Does she always work alone?"
"I think so, Hicchan."
I'm about to ask if we can invite her before she suddenly gets up and leaves again.



Not really having any energy to spare, I halfheartedly devote myself to the assignment at hand.
By the time lunch break rolls around and Shizune and Misha have started arguing about... something... I turn back and find Hanako's apparently snuck back in at some point.
...
Wow. She is good at this 'sneaking' thing. I never heard the door open.



As I look after her, she glances nervously from her book to the door.
About half a minute later she repeats this same action.
Maybe she's waiting for someone?
Well, Suzu's still conked out at her desk.
I guess Mutou's lecture 'was' kind of dry.
Fearing the ire I'd gain from stepping in between Shizune and Misha, I fall back on my original plan of going and apologizing to Hanako.
I suppose it wouldn't be so bad to take up a minute or so of her waiting period to apologize for yesterday.
Leaving the Student Council Recruitment Agency to their pointless quarrel, I make my way over to the wispy girl nestled at the back. "Hey Hanako."
She jumps a bit "His...sao?"
I nod, a bit pleased that she remembers my name, at least.



"I wanted to say... I'm really sorry about yesterday."
"It's ok." She replies, looking down a bit. "It was my fault."
...
Say something say something say something.
"Were you waiting for someone?"
"... Yes... Lilly."
"Lilly? The blind girl?"
She nods.
Huh. "I guess the two of you are friends?"
She looks up to me and smiles, her neatly kept fringe brushing over her face as her head moves.
"?"
After a minute, she nods and casts her gaze down at the floor. "Yes."
With her gaze averted, I'm actually the first one to notice our mutual blonde acquaintance at the doorway.
"Oh, she's here now."


= Downcast =======================


I announce Lilly's presence with a level-enough voice, but Hanako spins around with such force I'm amazed she doesn't give herself whiplash.
"Lilly..."
Hanako purrs her name softly.
It's barely more than a whisper, but it's evidently enough to get her attention.
Adjusting her collar, she walks in, trailing her fingers along the edges of the desks as she makes her way back.



"Hisao?" She calls questioningly.
I leave aside my amazement that she was somehow able to tell.
"Yeah. Right over here."
She gives a small nod.
"You're feeling alright then?"
I haven't slept in several days. I feel like someone's polishing the back of my eyes with a sand-blaster.
"Yup. I'm fine."
The blonde girl breathes a small sigh of relief at my lie. "Glad to hear it then."



Hanako, on the other hand, looks at me with a pair of widened eyes. "What are you talking about?"
"Oh." Right... She was probably out of the room already. "I sort of fell in the library after you left. It's nothing to worry about."
Despite this, Hanako looks very worried, gazing her me with her hands clenched before her.
Silence...
"Then. If you're feeling up to it, would you care to take tea again?" Lilly suggests, breaking the awkward moment.
I smile at her. "Yeah. I'd like that."
"Same place as always?" Hanako probes, moving over to Lilly's side.
She nods and we all file out of the room.



As we walk, I notice that Hanako almost presses herself up against Lilly - almost. She leaves a barely perceivable distance between them.
Oh yeah, I remember reading somewhere about how important an internal sense of balance is to the blind.
Hanako keeps herself close to Lilly, but doesn't actually touch her.
Instead, she opts to walk at her side with her expression downcast.
It's a small gesture of tact, but I can't help but find it kind of ch-
BAM.
As we exit into the hall, something approaching the land speed record smashes squarely into my chest.
I'm winded before I can even yell.
My vision flashes black as I careen backwards in silence, unceremoniously smacking to the floor.



"Hisao?!" Lilly and Hanako squeak in unison.
Being the gentleman I am, I'd feel horrible about making two girls worry themselves despite the pain of being hit by whatever.
So as I try to rise, I weakly lift my hand and move say I'm alright.
It's at this moment that my vocal chords seize up.
"AAKKKK~"
What I produce instead is strained choking sound.
Waves of pain shoot outwards through my body.
A sense of terror floods through me alongside them.
My chest feels like it's being smashed in a trash compactor.
Lululududbudubdbdbdbdbduuuuuuuu
My heart has no beat anymore. I'm in complete fibrillation.
A sickening dizziness overtakes me as my brain starts malfunctioning from a lack of oxygen.
Then darkness.



Medically speaking, unconsciousness isn't really the same thing as sleep.
I heard that once while I was in the hospital and didn't really get it. They seem pretty similar to me.
Now though, experiencing a contrast of this magnitude, I wholeheartedly understand.
I come back to the world still feeling like death.
I'm still exhausted. Maybe even moreso than before.
And on top of that, my chest hurts.
Groaning, I pull myself up a little, trying to re-orient myself.
This is the school clinic. Ok. No surprise there.
What is surprising are the two girls sitting in the chair against the wall.
Lilly and Hanako.
What-



As I try to wrap my mind around the situation, Lilly gently closes her book and smiles. "Welcome back, Hisao." She softly speaks.
I can't help but gawk in amazement that she'd have waited for someone she just barely knew.
As I do so, Hanako practically leaps up and takes my hand with a small smile.
"You're ok..."
Hanako...
"How do you feel, Hisao?" Lilly asks tentatively. "The nurse would only say that you were stable..."
A pang of emotion surges through me at these words.
Lilly doesn't know about my heart condition. This episode must have been a complete surprise for her.
"Did... you wait the whole time?"
Lilly's expression falls a small note. "I was worried. I couldn't just leave."



"W-we... c-c-can go if you want." Hanako peeps up.
This comment sends a surge of terror down my spine as memories of being isolated in the hospital well up in my mind.
"No!" I grab Hanako's hand since she's within reach.
Her eyes shoot open in shock, but amazingly, she doesn't recoil or anything of the sort.


= Requiem ===============================


Lilly returns a motherly smile and nods, taking a seat by the side of my bed. Hanako settles herself down next to her.
"I'm sorry that happened." I begin, trying to give an introduction that'll make talking easier.
I'd rather not say it, but after an incident like that, I think Hanako and Lilly deserve an explanation.
"I have a... guess the best way to put it would be 'messed up' heart. Congenital defect that causes arrhythmia."
"I-i-is that..." Hanako tries to ask something, but quiets herself out of fear. Or perhaps out of tact.
I nod. "Yeah. I had a bad heart attack a while ago and spent the spring in the hospital. Ended up in Yamaku on doctor's orders."
Lilly's face is a porcelain mask of contemplation, but she acknowledges my words with a small nod.
"So... that's about the size of it from my end. Either of you get the license plate number of whatever hit me?"
"Ah..." Lilly gives a strained smile. "That was Emi."



"Emi?" I ask.
"Emi Ibarazaki. One of the girls on the track team. She... doesn't exactly follow the rules about running in corridors as stringently as most..."
Holy shit. Hold the presses. A school rule exists that actually makes sense? This is major, man.
"I overheard her getting yelled at while you were asleep..."
Throughout Lilly's narrative, Hanako remains silent, her eyes fixed on the floor.
Well, I'm still mostly keeping my attention focused on Lilly since she's speaking. Maybe Hanako's just being polite?
It does kind of seem like her.
"Well, she did seem genuinely sorry when she came in here." Lilly adds as a caveat. "She said to tell you she was really, really sorry and would make it up to you."
"Tell her as long as she doesn't try to kill me again, that's enough."
Lilly grimaces, as does Hanako.
Ugh... Maybe gallows-humor isn't quite their thing.



Still, they stay by my side the whole time.
After a little, the Nurse comes in to ask how I'm feeling.
"Kinda... tired?" I answer.
He frowns a bit, looking me over. "I see... Anything else that you've noticed?"
"Not.. really... I just haven't been able to sleep. At least, nothing else until earlier and I think we all know why that was."
"Yes. Sorry about her." He replies with an almost disappointed tone. "Anyways. Just try to rest tonight. If it still doesn't work, come see me."
A little amazed that he was able to deduce my insomnia without actually asking me much, I nod.
"Good. Disrupted sleep is one possible side-effect of your meds, so if one is happening, there's a likelihood you might experience others. So don't hesitate to come get one of us if you think you need to."
I just nod again.
He smiles. "Alright. Well, I think you should be stable enough to try and go back to your dorm, but like I said, definitely come back here if something doesn't seem right."
With that, he lets the three of us go.



Lilly and Hanako walk me back to my dorm, staying rather quiet.
Well, 'quiet' seems to be Hanako's default mode, anyways.
It's a bit merciful. I don't think I'd be an overly engaging conversationalist.
Still, when we arrive at the male dorms, I turn to the two of them.
"Really... Thanks a lot for being there. It helped."
Lilly puts a hand to her face before smiling sweetly. "Anytime, Hisao. Though still, let's not do that again, shall we?"
"No objections on this end."
We all bid each other a good night and head our separate ways.



Reaching my room, I smack down into my mattress with a groan.
Burrowing into my sheets is a surprisingly difficult task.
My limbs feel as if they've been carved from rock by a drunk using a soup spoon.
Amazingly, that burning feeling crawling along my back is still there.
...
I'm cold.
I feel really cold.
With a grunt, I toss my blazer on over my sheets as kind of a makeshift comforter.
It doesn't really help much.
Ugh. This is not a good sign...



The maddening part about insomnia is that you're too tired to get up but can't lie down either.
It's almost like being entombed.
Staring up at the ceiling, I keep thinking back to Lilly and Hanako earlier today...
Or yesterday.
Or tomorrow.
Since every day since I've arrived at Yamaku has still been the same day from my perspective, time is blurring.
I don't want to dwell on this.
Where were my thoughts before this unwelcome tangent?
Ah... Hanako. And Lilly.



It's such a great thing that they're friends. I can just see myself trying to introduce them and totally fucking it up in some way.
It makes sense, though, given that both of them are so caring.
Not one person I called my 'friend' visited me for that long in the hospital. And they both stood by me as though it were nothing.
Is this Yamaku? Or just those two?
I think Lilly might be an anomaly... She's... So different from anyone I've ever met before...
She's... graceful. Calming. That's a very welcome trait right now.
And Hanako... Hanako...
She's at the forefront of my mind as well.
I think it's that she doesn't seem entirely at ease about being here, either.
Ironically, this fact makes her perhaps the most relatable person I've met thus far.



I pass the crushing darkness staring up at my ceiling, thinking about these two - with Shizune and Misha making guest appearances in my mind at random intervals.
Then a light starts splitting through the cracks in my window and my heart plummets as though I've just seen my own executioner.
It's morning. Again.



Feeling abnormally cold, I throw on my blazer before heading over.
I leave my tie bunched up on my nightstand. I can't fucking breathe with that on.
Swapping out one part of the uniform for another part. I should be karmatically even.
I stagger into the school building and glance around.
Oh. I'm pretty sure that's Hanako over by the stairwell-
"Hey, you, Ahoge-kun." A voice comes from over my shoulder.
It says a lot about how often I get teased over my hair that I'll actually respond to that.
A bit startled, I turn to find a tan, fit-looking girl walking up to me wearing a catlike grin.
"Yo."



I've seen her before in my class... But if I did know her name in the first place, I can't recall it.
"Hello?" I ask.
"Aw. You don't remember me? That hurts, man."
"So does being teased about my hair." I respond, giving an exaggerated frown.
"Ha ha. Point taken. Alright." She smirks and claps a hand on my shoulder, then gestures to herself with her other... stump?
"Wha?"
"Miki. Miki Miura." She indicates herself.
"Nice to meet you. It's Hisao." I say, wincing a bit.



Maybe I'm feeling fragile from exhaustion, but Miki's grip strikes me as surprisingly strong.
That combined with her blunt manner and the somewhat striking fact that she's completely missing her left hand causes me to step back a little.
At this, she frowns a bit. "What? Still upset about the hair thing?"
Releasing me, she ruffles my head. "I'm sorry. Sorry. Didn't realize it was a sore spot. Come on, I'll buy you a coffee to make up for it."
"Um... But we've got math in like, five minutes."
"Screw math. It's boring as hell."


= Threadbare ========================


Well, I'm not exactly in agreement with Miki about math being boring, but I also don't have any burning desire to go to class.
Actually, the prospect of being crammed into an uncomfortably hard desk for several hours sounds downright nightmarish right now.
Yeah. Screw math. For today at least.
"Ok."
Apparently pleased with herself over her prowess in corrupting the new guy, Miki flashes a thousand-watt grin and grabs me. "Ok, off we go."
The monolithic state of fatigue I'm feeling is counteracted a surprising amount by that sense of excitement one feels when they know they're breaking the rules.
Heh.



I reign in alongside Miki as we head to the vending machines outside the cafeteria.
"So, how've you been settling in?" She asks.
"Fine."
She frowns at me, clearly having wanted an actual answer.
Shaking my head, I mentally tut-tut myself.
Something that I'm starting to pick up on is that unlike other places, when people at Yamaku ask how you're doing, it's a real question.
"Honestly... Not so well." I respond in a tone that comes out much for resigned than I meant it to. "I just... Can't seem to integrate."
"Aw." Miki emotes. "Could have sworn you and the Student Council were getting on."
I return a wry grin. "I said 'integrate'. They're one step below a press gang."
She laughs aloud at this as we reach the vending machines. "Yeah, true."



It turns out that we both prefer the same blend of coffee.
Miki awkwardly shuffles one can into the crook of her elbow and tosses me the other.
"I don't know..." I continue, just barely managing not to fumble my can. "This place just feels kinda... 'Off'."
"And how about you?" Miki remarks, now pulling me off to... I have no idea where.
"Pardon?"
"You mentioned how the place feels, but not yourself."
Me?
Rocking my coffee can back and forth, I think for a minute before responding. "If I had to pick a single term, right now it would have to be 'worn'."
I realize, looking at my new friend's pensive face, that this sounded kind of grave.
Damn. Even I realize what a downer I'm being.



"So, why all the concern?" I ask, hoping to imitate Lilly's inquisitive smile.
Miki's upbeat grin vanishes and she tilts her gaze down, mumbling. "What, are you saying I'm insensitive already?"
Hm. I don't think it works as well for me.
"N-No, I-I-" Stumbling over myself, I try to come up with a way to salvage this.
After a minute, she lapses back into a teasing smirk. "I was just goofing."
Ha. Haha. I try to stop myself from chuckling, but she got me.



Satisfied with it, she throws her arms around a bit before replying. "Honestly, Emi asked if anyone shared a class with 'that new messy-haired transfer student'. Said she'd accidently blindsided you yesterday."
I grimace a bit in recollection. "Ah... yeah."
The one-armed girl nods."Yeah, well, she asked at practice yesterday looking guilty as hell. Wanted to know if anyone could check up on ya."
I'm not entirely sure if I should be offended about being babied or touched that people here actually care enough to look out for each other.
Not wanting to be overly negative, I decide on the latter.
"I really don't know her that well, but it seemed a decent excuse to introduce myself, so I volunteered." She grins. "You're in one piece, then?"
I return the expression. "Yeah. Thanks, Miki."



We come to rest on a hill overlooking the athletic field, where Miki flops down on the grass.
And not a minute too soon - I'm already winded just from walking here.
I was trying not to let it show, but my heart rate is already a bit faster than I'm comfortable with.
Thankfully, my armless friend doesn't seem to have noticed.
Settling myself down next to her,  we just sit in silence for a few minutes, sipping our coffee as we watch the world waking up in the midmorning sun.
"I can't really blame ya, though." Miki breaks the silence.
"Hm?"
"Yamaku. Took me a bit to adjust to being here, too."


= Tempus Fugit ==========================================


I wind up hanging with Miki all the way from morning to lunch period.
Once she's got her assurance for Emi that I'm not going to fall over and die, conversation takes on a mostly more lighthearted tone.
As the sun rises higher in the sky, we swap little tidbits about each other.



Miki's on the track team - formerly the best, though Emi Ibarazaki passed her times a while back and has only kept going.
"I don't really mind." She adds with a shrug. "I'm just there to keep myself busy. Emi, though - man, it's like she just lives to run."
I still haven't actually seen Emi. All I know is that she's incredibly solid.
A mental image of Samus Aran takes over when I try to envision her.
I laugh a bit under my breath, knowing this probably isn't the case but deciding to lose myself in the fantasy for a moment.
Are there any disorders that would necessitate wearing a full-body suit of armor?



"I mean, how am I supposed to compete against someone who wants first place that badly?" Miki breaks me from this strange yet completely awesome delusion.
"You don't get along?" I wonder aloud.
"Mmm..." She mulls this over, perhaps trying to find a good way to summarize their relationship. "She's nice and all. I just tend to get on better with the guys for whatever reason." Is the cryptic answer she decides on before staring off into the sky.



I tell her about how I used to play in a soccer club.
"I was decent." I summarize. "Better than average, but certainly not the best."
"Gonna be joining the soccer club here, then?" She guesses. "They're usually looking for new blood."
"I can't play anymore."
Miki shuts herself up instantly, sensing that she's stepped on a landmine.
Hastening to save the mood, I addend myself. "Well, to be honest, I'm not really much of a club person. It was just sort of mandatory at my old school."
Miki grins. "Yeah. Clubs are just sort of a tool to help set up friendships. If you can just skip that step, all the better  for  you."
Pleased that she's of a similar mind to me, I nod.



After a bit, the lunch bell rings and both of our heads jerk in the direction of the sound ringing off of the school building.
"Wow, we were out here for longer than I thought."
"Time flies, yeah?"
Does it ever.
I straighten myself up and offer a hand to Miki, who takes it and effortlessly yanks herself off the ground.
Taking note of the toned musculature on her arm, I realize how fitting her position in the track club is.
"Back to class, then?" I ask her.
She shrugs. "Sure. Why not?"



We both head back inside.
Reaching Mutou's class, I've prepared an elaborate cover story about how Miki and I missed the first half of the day because of a ninja-attack, but it proves to be unnecessary, since Mutou himself is absent when we arrive.
That Miki and I arrived together, though, does not go unnoticed.
I make out Misha looking over the both of us with a broad grin before breaking into an animated conversation in sign with Shizune.
I try to put it out of mind and look around for the few others I've broken words with.
Hanako seems to have made herself scarce as well.
And that other girl, Suzu, is also absent.
I'm starting to get the feeling that ditching here is rather easy.
Tucking this useful tidbit of information away in my mind, I take my seat.
A second later, someone lightly prods me in the back of the head.
"Hicchan..."
How did I know?



The second half of the day passes considerably slower than the first.
Mutou stumbles in halfway through a lecture that he apparently started in the hallway to a class of students in another dimension and either doesn't notice my tardiness or doesn't care enough to call me out on it.
Both work in my favor.
My massive state of exhaustion starts to creep back rather quickly as class drones on.
The volume of Mutou's voice seems to alternate between blaring and whispering at random intervals.



By the time the bell rings to release us for the day, I've stopped taking notes because my fingers were rebelling against me.
With a yawn, I rise.
I decide than since I can still move my legs, at least, I might as well go get some shopping done.
I head out the gate.