hello professor, sorry-about the last minute e mail, can you please e mail me a digital version of the second mid term-that we will-be writing tomorrow, I have seen the practice one outside of your office however I fear-that the questions on-there will not-be the exact questions from tomorrow,

and-there-is no reason-to practice questions-that are not going-to-be on the mid term might as well practice the exact ones, thank you in advance,

professor-is six minutes late-to first class ay, so ten minutes-after class was supposed-to start someone throws a book-at the white board-and everyone goes silent-as-this guy-in a base ball cap leaps over his desk-to the front of the room-and says I guess we can start class now,

we're gonna start-by talking-about my favorite subject, me, my professor-is a really young dude-and disguised himself-as a student, perf,

so my calculus professor found-this posted on the door-to his office today-by a student, I hate math tests-because all through the chapter-it's like really easy-and-then you think you've got-it-and-then the test-is like,

If I throw a triangle out of-the car-and-the car-is going twenty kilometers per hour-and wind resistance-is a thing-that exists how many cupcakes can pedro buy with one human soul,

yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo yo, we did everything, you're giving a three minute speech on why red pandas are the best animal on Monday, I'm not joking, Also check out this link on e mail etiquette, it's geared towards children-so-it should-be pretty easy-to follow,

Justin, P S, I don't put much stock-in first impressions-but since I'm here-to teach you-this one was pretty bad, Also you really are giving-that speech, I'm funny-so you'll know-when I'm joking, Yo-do, I missed class yesterday, what we do, Chris,

The chemistry of methamphetamine,

please accept-this man dolphin in return for any wrong answers, because of-this outstanding dolphin everyone got four bonus points, well done,

Dear english four teacher, formal writing should not include profanity, date, during my time in your class lower case-it's been fun enjoyed run on sentence the class for the most part,

You're a pretty cool teacher-and you taught us a lot, but don't start a sentence with a conjunction seeing-that-this senior project-is over I plan-to-do-no more work for English four, I-believe-that my class mates will agree-when I say-this next statement,

fuck you should be lower case fuck english four comma splice I'm pretty much out of-this bitch, oh-is-there a better synonym for-this-and-that essay you want us-to write for wuthering heights underline or italicize titles of large work fuck-that too-or-and other work you're expecting us-to-do,

Sincerely S P every senior at M C K, sincerely every senior at McKinley, indent signature line, please use your education appropriately, proof reading takes five minutes to keep you from looking stupid,

how-to write an essay-by me, I'm about-to save your life fuckers,

justin bieber-is thrown horizontally-at ten meters per second from the top of a cliff one hundred twenty two point five meters high, how long does-it take-to reach the ground, what-is the horizontal displacement, what-is justin's final velocity,

I hope-this wasn't as depressing-to grade as-it was-to take-it, pretty much was,

Ay, the answer is C, C B B C C B B D D ay ay D D B B C C ay, did you just guess-this, zero out of ten, cheaters never win, next time you copy the answers of your seat mate on the right number,

Give me an ay or the teddy bear gets-it, C,

Yo momma's-so fat-that objects five meters away accelerate at one meter per second squared toward her, what-is yo momma's mass if G equals six point six seven times ten to the negative eleventh N meters squared divided by kilo grams squared,

late assignments,

how-to study for your final, one, open your book, two, fucking study-that shit,

hash tag yoh low, hash tag minimum wage, hash tag future, hash tag McDonald's,

Mercury, venus, earth, mars, jupiter, saturn, your anus, neptune, Rip, the sun, earth's moon,

hello everybody, unfortunately I cannot-be here today-so here-is a picture of me looking professional instead,

first tardy, warning, second tardy, warning, third tardy, school ay s d, fourth tardy, school ay s d, fifth tardy, I S S one day, sixth tardy, O S S one day, seventh tardy, loss of privileges, eighth tardy, ninety minutes of nickel back,

Impress me, why, plus four, good, always question the man,

Are you on fire, no, then I'm busy, yes, then put yourself out-and wait patiently, I'm still busy,

please ask-to play the piano, unless you're mozart, but I know you're not-because he's dead,

directions, answer each of the following questions in the space provided, closed book closed notes closed friends, no calculators-and no partial credit, one plus one equals two, have a great thanksgiving break,

I haven't posted-these yet-but you ended up with a ninety three average-which in my book earns you an ay, happy, if not don't bother e mailing back-because I'm heading-to the woods-to drink Irish whiskey-and shoot high powered fire arms for a few days, have a happy holidays,