This is the sad story of my life. If you’re into sad stories with messed up situations, romance, and heartbreak. This I worth reading. If not just close the tab. I haven’t told many things about my life you’re about to read. Most will be confused on how I can live through my pain, but life’s what you make it. Also don’t be mad about my grammar or spelling errors please.


	Lets skip the early part of my life. I was a typical kid until around 4th grade. I was the loner of the grade. All the groups started to form and I was the only one without friends. I had a thing for the girls though. Around 6th grade I was always hanging out with a girl. Never a relationship though. That was the first grade I started getting picked on. I let it happen and never defended myself. After 6th grade I never had a thing for girls. They all had boyfriends and then a few started picking on me as well. Every year there was a new kid and I was able to befriend them until the other guys became best friends with the person and turned them against me. Freshmen year I got lucky. Griffin was his name. We became best friends and still to this day. Freshmen year was also the year I got deep into my personal studies. I learned a lot about computers and phones. I had successfully jailbroken my iPod and got all the apps I wanted for free. Also replaced a lot a phone screens during high schools for girls and fixed computer problems for them too for free just charged them for parts.
	Freshmen year wasn’t all happy u may think it might be. I have the biggest regret about that year. Google+ was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I made myself up a profile and started talking to people online. It was cool at the time but I’ll get into the reasoning for regret soon. Sophomore year was the Google+ regrets. I also dyed my hair black and was super cool, I thought at least. I was emo and punkish kid and loved punk rock. I hate talking about it but for you I will. I had been talking to this one girl for awhile and we video called late at night a lot before we started dating. Yes it was all online. She had this other guy. Who she loved and had left her before I got with her. It was great. We had the greatest time together.  She had this monster muscle shirt which I promised if I met her one day I would take it off her and steal it, was a skater girl, and loved 80s rock. I asked her about the last boyfriend. She said she hadn’t talked to him since I last knew. I started seeing stuff on her profile about him and asked her again. She again denied. I found real solid proof and she told the truth. She instantly went to the question “can we start a polyamorous relationship between us three?” (polyamorous is a relationship between three people) I couldn’t do it and instantly told her no. Then left the video call, muted the notifications, and didn’t open it for two weeks. When I did, I got messages from her friend saying that she had tried to hang herself then took a razor blade to her arms viciously. She bled out and died. Now I knew she loved me, but I didn’t know it was that much. I got into a video call with the friend of hers who had messaged me and she showed me the blood and as well as the mother of my girlfriend who insisted to know what the call was about. She was told by the friend and called me some names and I hung up. The account has been inactive ever since. I wish I knew that she cared so much about me. I wouldn’t of let it go down the way it did.
	During the summer of my sophomore year I had got myself a girlfriend. She was ok. It wasn’t very special. My mother got so attached and always had this girl over. She became more of a friend. I didn’t fall in love with her and I had to leave her cause I didn’t feel right. Later on in the fall there was my second google+ regret. I needed something to pull me away from the feelings about the girl with the monster muscle shirt. I couldn’t remember her name or even the color of her eyes anymore. I was lost and needed a get away. So this girl was surprisingly close so we met up a few times but was mostly over video calls. She moved a few hours away and never messaged me. A few weeks later she contacts me. She had a new boyfriend. She never broke up with me but claimed she did. When the boyfriend dumped her we got back together. A week after she noticed she was hungrier and started getting a bigger stomach. She was a little anorexic so she knew something was up. Turns out she was pregnant. I told her she needed to tell me everything and be completely honest with me. She told me about the crack addiction she had and also that her new friends made her into a hooker. I was pushing myself away from the relationship at that point. I told her we could still be together and when I had the money I would go and help with the baby. Also that if she wanted to be more into the relationship that she would have to deal with the addiction and the hooker thing. She lied and lied about it to me and believed her. Until I talked to the friends who turned her into a hooker and she was still doing both actively. I told her I found out and told her it was over and that we should still be friends. We talked off and on for a month and during that month I met another girl online. Another sort of regret and I will get into this part of the story after we continue about the pregnant girl.  We talked off and on until she wanted to get back with me and I told her no and turned off notifications for a few days. I got a call from her friends. They were crying a lot and couldn’t make out what they were saying. So I told them to text me it. They were jumbled words and I read that she had killed herself. I couldn’t read more so I blocked them and her account stays inactive to this day as long with the other. I would’ve don it differently if I knew. Yes I did unintentionally cause the suicide of two girls and an unborn child. I didn’t know how to live with myself. Sadly I found the best way to get through it was self harm…. To be continued