1-02 Control

	A flurry of pages erupts into the air in time with the shrill din of the alarm. Groggily, I try to catch them as they fall back down, unpeel the page from my cheek and stumble over to shut off the damned clock all at once. The resulting fall lands me in a pile of my notes and pages, but I at least managed to knock the alarm-clock onto the floor beside me. You have to take the little victories in a day, I think as I slam the top of the alarm to silence. I don't remember falling asleep studying last night, but nor do I remember having the sense to set the alarm in case of such an event. I thank myself for being so predictable.

	The papers stacked as neatly as time accommodates for, I toss aside my pajamas and get ready for the day. The mirror hanging above my drawers informs me to remember that I'm having gym today and not to have a coffee this morning. I thank the note before tossing it in the wastebin and threading my bow through my collar. Normally, I'd rue the lack of a morning boost after such a late night, but after yesterday's events I know better than to complain; I shouldn't really have coffee at all with my heart, and I've been pushing myself a little too much lately. Which is terribly unlike me, really, but I've been terribly unlike myself this weather.

	Grabbing a few locks, I tie my silvery hair in my usual braid. It's about control, Rika. The hairs spin and weave neatly as I meet my eyes in the mirror. It won't happen again.

	The hall's unusually still, I take note. I close the door behind me and wonder if my clock's fast again. Slinging my bag over my shoulder, I head down towards the courtyard. It doesn't take long to notice the effects of a late night and a caffeine deficiency, but if I'm as early as I think I am there might be time to steal some of Lilly's tea and make a cup before class. She tells me she doesn't mind, and she has such nice blends I've never cared whether or not she's just being polite.

	'Rika! You're up early!' Saki confirms my suspicions as she jogs up beside me outside the dorm.

	'I always try to be a diligent student, you know that.'

	'Uh-huh. You got ink on your cheek.' She licks her finger and rubs my cheek, me cringing all the time, 'late night, huh? You know the exam isn't for a fortnight?'

	'I told you, diligent student.' Saki doesn't need to know what I was studying in truth.

	I flash her a grin, 'So I suppose you're not at all worried about the English test, then?'

	'Me? You know I got that in the bag, I'm a twelfth British on my father's side, it comes naturally to me,' Saki boasts, before glancing off in the distance and shouting, 'oh! It's Molly, she owes me breakfast this morning! Sorry, gotta' run, I'll see you in class!' Saki dashes off before I can ask her why Molly owes her breakfast, but my own grumbling stomach quells my curiousity. Maybesome of yesterday's cakes in the tea room.

	The corridors of the school building are near as silent as the dorm halls, save for Mr. Mutou looking panicked about something as he runs up the stairs. Again, my grumbling stomach prevents me from pursuing my nosiness. The door to the tea room isn't locked even this early, thankfully, and I push inside to see Nakai and Lilly already in occupation.

	'Oh, pardon me.' I stammer out as I turn to leave as quickly as I entered. The sight of Nakai is still not something I want to see until I've gotten myself in order.

	'Rika, is that you? Please, sit, we were just talking about you.' Lilly's airy voice calls out from behind the closed door I'm leaning against, her words doing absolutely nothing to encourage me back in. But it's too late now, it'd just raise more questions me running out like that. I take a deep breath and open the door again.

	'Lilly, Nakai, I'm sorry, I thought I was intruding.' I manage to say.

	Lilly turns her head in my direction and just smiles at me with her big pale eyes. 'Of course not, you're always welcome. Hisao was telling me you were in the nurse's office yesterday, are you alright?' She asks, as innocent as a Winter snow. She means no harm, of course, but it's a subject I'm still tender about, in front of Nakai especially. I try to be nonchalant and walk over to the counter.

	'I'm perfectly fine, just a flutter.' I tell her over my shoulder, pouring a blend of black tea I haven't seen before into a cup and then having a seat while it brews. I choose to sit beside Lilly on the opposite corner of the table from Nakai.

	I think he notices something, but he doesn't show it as he says, 'Funny bumping into you again. Are you and Lilly friends?' I sit for a while in silence, before it becomes obvious Lilly won't answer this for me.

	'Recent friends. We've seen eachother in the halls before, but we met down in the Shanghai after classes last week. Lilly was the only person there when I came in, and I suppose heard me ordering from Yuuko and recognized me. We share a fond appreciation in dirty leaf water,' I laugh, but Nakai stares blankly, so I correct myself, 'tea, I mean. I don't normally have tea with Lilly here mind, I just steal from her not-so-secret stash.' The story flies out of me and I politely laugh at my own joke, far, far louder than I'd intended. Clearing my throat, I look to see Lilly was nodding while she was listening, and reaches her hand over to rest on my arm once I finish.

	'Hanako is still warming up to her, I'm afraid.' Lilly reassures Nakai. He laughs.

	'I've had the same problem, don't worry.' He laughs again, and I keep up my smile.

	I make a show of glancing over at the counter and say, 'Excuse me, I have to go see to my tea.' Fiddling with my braid, I try to snap out of it. This is deathly uncomfortable, but it is grossly apparent I'm the cause of that.

	The tea glazes from a deep black to a milky brown as the milk pours in, then back to a chestnut hue as I stir. I take a deep inhale of the tea's aroma, and breath it back out. The cinnamon tinge smells relaxing, that's good. That's all, I just need to relax. If I don't think about yesterday's events and just focus on the cinnamon, I'll be fine. Nakai's just another student.

	But when I turn around and see him, the image of his hands around my medical alert bracelet flashes through my mind.

	'Rika, is your chest okay? You've gone pale.' Nakai asks from the table, looking uncomfortable.

	'Rika, you've gone pale? Should I take you to the nurse?' Lilly's stirred from her chair and from the worry writ onto her face, she thinks this is more serious than it is.

	'Lilly, no, I'm fine. Despite what my doctors might tell you, it does takes more than the caffeine in a sip of tea to cause me harm,' I shrug, 'I was just thinking about... that exam next week. That's all.' Lilly's face washes with relief, but Nakai's been squirming since I mentioned doctors.

	The bell rings when Lilly opens her mouth to reply, and both Nakai and I take our turns to be sigh with relief. Setting the tea back down on the table, I mumble an apology to Lilly and rush out the door, with Nakai on my heels. He doesn't stop to say goodbye, however, and rushes down the hall away from me.

	Well.

	...I cannot say that is how I wanted nor expected my morning to start. The rumbling in my stomach reminds me I was so busy making awkward chit-chat that I completely forgot to eat, but I think I've lost my appetite. Nakai's face comes back to mind when I mentioned doctors. It could well be that he was as uncomfortable as I was. Still, I'll have to avoid that room from now on if he visits there.

	I run my braid through my fingers again. No, not until I can sort this mess out.