Will You? [A4A]

Will You?
M/F4A
by /u/Eves_garden

I’m alone again tonight, because you’re miles away…a continent, an ocean, a universe away…right here with me, and yet untouchable, unreachable…we are together and apart, we are close but never touching…we are friends, and it is tearing my heart into small, sharp slivers that ache when I breathe.

I don’t know when I fell in love with you…I didn’t mean for it to happen. It grew the way a spring blossom grows, blooming unexpectedly one morning, full and resplendent with quiet beauty. Delicate, like a flower, too, fragile…and yet, somehow, strong and pure and determined to live.

I tried to ignore it. I tried to pretend that it was merely the affection of one friend for another, that the feelings you stirred in me weren’t inspired by you in particular, or any magic you alone might possess. But…what a fool I was. The petals of that flower kept unfolding, kept reaching their velvet softness out to me, enclosing me, like the heart of the flower in that ee cummings poem. Every day that passed, every smile you gave me, every laugh, every sweet gesture and affectionate touch…I was lost. I should have known I would be.

You are everything good and pure and wonderful. You are loved, by everyone who knows you. And really, what is friendship between men and women anyway, but a slow simmer, a gentle sea swell that hasn’t yet raged into a turbulent storm but could so easily? When a man and a woman care for each other, as we do, is there not just some little push needed, some tiny, reaching, grasping moment in which the flame is lit, and we are no longer merely friends? When a man and a woman find beauty in the other, as we do, when they feel the tug of sexual allure, as we do, is it so difficult to imagine that sweet, simple bond of friendship igniting into something more?

The way it has in me?

You don’t know how desperately I want to reach out for you, how often words of love batter against my sealed lips and struggle for release. You can’t know, because I never let you see it. I never utter so much as the word ‘love’ in your presence, because I've been too afraid.

Until now.

Are you just as afraid, just as shy, just as unable to reach a trembling hand out to me, or to lean in for a slow, tremulous, beautiful kiss? Do you love me too, in spite of all the reasons you shouldn’t, in spite of the endless difficulties that would ensue, if, in fact, our two souls have truly found each other through the mess and the pain and the heartache of this world? I would throw my arms around you gladly, and hold you, if so. I would face any hurdle, any barrier, I would welcome it all, just to feel your lips brush against mine, just to gaze into your eyes without the need for disguise.

I would let my fingers dance lightly over your skin, I would feel your body as if trying to memorize you. I would breathe you in and taste you, lingering there in your most intimate place, savouring you, worshiping you, adoring you with warm wet strokes of my tongue. I would plead with you, through heated kisses and breathless moans, I would tell you with every soft noise and gentle murmur, I would give you my body so freely, so openly, giving you pleasure as I take mine, sharing ecstasy with you until we collapsed together, in the silence of sated lust, our hearts thundering together as though trying to reach the other, until there was nothing but a smile, a touch, a whisper…a shared moment, a promise…the knowledge that what we are to each other now is so much more…

So….

Will you light the flame with me? Will you unfold in my hand as I will in yours? Will you take this tender, trembling heart and keep it safe? Will you lean in close and let me whisper, softly against your ear…

I love you…