Loan Goes Shopping for Birthday Presents [/tlvg/][Loan]

>Loan enters a bed, bath, and beyond
>okay, Loan, focus!
>you’re here to- what’s that guy looking at?
>oh, the door, haha I didn’t set into the store...
>you’re here to buy Leina a birthday present, she bought you a Full Metal Alchemist pocket watch
>ugh...
>I know! I know you think merch is cringey and you wish you could throw it away, but that’s not what Alphonse would have wanted!
>yes, both are good. Giant metal husband or pale blond shota husband, both are good.
>Alphonse’s delicious milky skin, he must miss feeling after all those years, then a strong, mature state alchemist, Loan Loud, the Sound Alchemist rolls into town and-
>FOCUS!
>go to the As Seen on TV aisle and buy the first normie thing you see.
>stop saluting in a public place!
>oh god! that guy just thanked you for your service.
>no! don’t say “thanks, you too”!
>where is that aisle?
>there’s a guy in a vest!
>dammit! that old bitch started talking to him!
>just wait
>is this too long to wait?
>yeah, metal Alphonse is pretty nice too. he’s got nice strong hands, the metal probably would feel good on your skin...
>she’s gone!
>oh fuck! this guy doesn’t even work here!
>ABORT ABORT ABORT

>later that week
>”thanks, Loan. I need some Mentos. Where did you think to get them?”
>”O-oh, y’know, the old BBnB.”Loan says to Liena
>”The what?” Loan then sprints off to the bathroom. “She tries so hard...”
>The party goers nod in silent agreement.