Anon delivers a pizza [Complete]

>Be Anon the peetzer delivery boy
>Its been a slow night, not many orders
>10 minutes till you get to clock out and go home
>However some rat bastard calls in a delivery order
>Your boss screams at you
>"ANON, I GOT A PEETZER GOING OUT CMON!"
>Fuck your life
>You pick up the delicious disc of cheese and leave
>The address leads you to some sleazy bar on the outskirts of town
>A paper on the door reads "DANCERS WANTED" as well as a second paper below that reads"MOMMY MONDAY, MOMS GET HALF OF AND HALF IN"
>Its that kind of sleazy bar and today is Monday
>Fuck your life
>You push open the door hesitantly and peer inside
>Its dark and hard to make out just how many ponys are inside the bar
>You also take notice of that the lighted stage where the dancers "dance" is void of anypony
>"Ok anon just go in, deliver the pizza, and go home. No shenanigans." You whisper to yourself
>You enter the bar and are immediately assaulted by a familiar smell
>The smell of needy mare
>This is not a good thing
>You now notice that the attention of all the bars inhabitants is now focused solely on you
>"Uhhhhh......"
>Ok Anon now deliver the pizza
>"Ummmm....did anyone order a large peetzer with extra carrots, extra cucumbers, extra eggplant, extra zucchini, and extra mushrooms?"
>What kind of fucking pizza is this?
>The bar bursts into laughter and giggles and you swear the musky mare smell only increases in strength
>Your cheeks start get hot and you feel like you maybe might have read the address wrong
>*click*
>You turn around to see an older looking grey unicorn locking the door behind you
>Or maybe this was a fucking trap!
>This is also not a good thing
>Sorry nothing

>ok fine something
>"Ummm why did you lock the door?" you question the grey unicorn
>Sweat is now visibly forming on your brow
>Fuck when did it get so hot in here?
>"Oh dont worry Anon, we closed 5 minutes ago. Just locking up shop is all."
>Yeah and sealing your only way out
>Wait, how did she know who you were(besides being the only Anon that delivers pizza) and how come you recognize that voice?
>This is not important right now, dumping the pizza and getting out of here is whats important
>"A-are you the one w-who ordered the peetzer?" You ask nervously.
>Remember Anon, dont lose your spaghetti, as soon as you lose your spaghetti these mares will pick it up and mix it in with their pasta salad, and boy will shit get messy.
>"Oh no, not me Anon, but i must admit the smell is absolutely alluring."
>You now notice that the grey mare was able to close the distance between you to while you were considering how to get out of here unmolested.
>You also take the time out of your busy schedule to notice how uncomfortably close to your crotch her muzzle is, oh and holy shit its twilights mom
>" A-ah Mrs.Velvet, I didnt know you ran one of these kinds of places."
>"Oh, I dont dear, Im just holding down the fort for a friend."
>She takes in a large breath of air from the area around your crotch and gives out a large sigh of relief
>You take a step back from the mare, odds are she wasnt trying to smell the new detergent you have been using on your clothes
>"O-okay....do you know where i can find the pony that ordered this peetzer?"
>"I believe I see her waiting for you on the stage."
>Sure enough when you turn around you see a cyan Pegasus waiting on stage by the pole
>She gives you a wave and you swear that those are "come fuck me stud" eyes she is rapidly blinking
>Suddenly you flinch as you feel a hoof slowly massage the right lower cheek of you work pants
>"A-ahhh! Mrs.Velvet!?" You squeak in surprise.
>"Oh dont worry Anon. You just have a little peetzer dough stuck to your pants. I will get it off for you." She says in a sultry tone as she continues to kneed your dough.
>You now feel two hoofs massaging your rear, one on each cheek
>Your afraid to make any sudden movements less the pasta in your pocket bursts and sends twilight's mom into an uncontrollable sex rage
>all you can do is prey that the extra strength ziploc baggy holds.
>"D-d-did you get it?" You stammer out.
>"No not quite, it looks like it seeped through your pants, I think I need to get a closer look."
>BULLSHIT
>As her magical aura starts to envelop your belt you decide that your gonna have to risk spaghetti upsetti
>You quickly start to make your way to the stage breaking the unicorns magical hold on your belt
>You wave back to the unicorn. "Thats okay miss velvet, I uuuhhh really gotta deliver this peetzer."
>She wears a disappointed expression, but it is quickly replaced with that of a hungry mare
>And its not peetzer she is hungry for.
>Thankfully you make your way to the stage without any additional confrontation from milfy mares, however that doesn't mean every mare in this bar wasn't watching your peetzer like a hawk.
>You get on the stage only to be greeted by an over excited pegasus
>Low and behold its rainbow dashes mom
>Hopefully this isn't a reoccurring theme
>"Hey windy, its been a while. I got the peetzer you ordered."
>"Anon! You cutie! How are you doing?"
>"Oh you know, just making the rounds ha ha."
>That wasnt actual laughter, that was just you awkwardly saying "ha ha". Just thought you should know.
>"Thats great Anon!" she says over excitedly
>"Im so glad you made it, Its been sooooooooo long since I had a nice, hot, thick, slice....of peetzer"
>The way she said that makes the hair on the back of your neck stand on end
>She was neither hungry nor needy, she was starving, and probably not for peetzer

"Right...well anyways here is your peetzer, that will be 10 bits."
>You hand the pizza over to windy and she takes it into both of her hoofs, her "please destroy my reproductive organ" eyes not leaving yours for even a second
>MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! THE PEETZER HAS BEEN DELIVERED. NOW YOU JUST NEED TO GET THE BITS AND GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE
>You feel a bit proud of yourself having been able to deliver the pizza somewhat unmolested while also keeping your sketti in tact
>"Sure thing Anon! Lemme just..." She holds the pizza in one hoof while digging around in her shirt with the other
>Her eyes still staring seductively into your soul.
>"Now where did i put that peetzer money......Oh! Thats right! she yips in excitement
>You can feel the pasta noodles start to quiver in your pocket
>Something is wrong. Very wrong.
>"Thats right, silly me, I put the peetzer money up their!"
>She points to the top of the strip pole with her hoof. There you see a brown sack tied to the top of the pole.
>Your pride plummets and the noodles in your pocket whimper
>Of course it wouldn't be that easy, why would anything be easy for you?
>Fuck your life
>You notice Windy's expression changed to a smug grin
>So thats where Rainbow gets her annoyingly cute smugness from
"Why is it tied to the top of the pole?"
>"Oh you know, just so I Wouldn't lose it on accident." She finishes her sentence with a wink.
>BULLSHIT
"Well do you think you could fly up and get it for me?"
>You already knew she wasn't going to
>"I would anon, but I don't wanna risk dropping the peetzer" She says in a fake worried tone.
>Yup
>She immediately backpedals to her "sexy" tone "Dont worry Anon, im sure you will find a way to get those bits. Even if you gotta get a little sweaty for them." She finishes by licking her lips for way to long and making her way off the stage.
>Just like that your situation went from Not good to Very Not good.
>"Oh and Anon~! She calls from across the bar. "You and your tip for the pizza have something in common~!"
>Here it comes
>"Your both very sizeable!"
>The bar erupts into laughter and giggles for a second time tonight and any remnant of the fresh smell of peetzer is drowned out by that of liquid mare.
>You briefly consider just forgetting the whole thing and leaving without the money, but you know the boss will make you clean the mares bathroom everyday for half a year if you come up empty handed again.
>You really wish your rent wasn't due soon otherwise you would just pay for the pizza with your own funds
>If you had a clone of yourself he could just stand on your shoulders and you could jump and then maybe he would be able to reach the sack.
>To bad you dont have a clone
>Yes you seem to have found yourself in quite the cloneless situation
"Ok, just gotta climb the pole, get the bits, and get the hell outta here."
>Surely nothing bad will happen this time, your pretty certain your almost at bedrock when it comes to your situation getting bad.
>You reach out and firmly grasp the pole in both hands
>Its cold......and......well lubricated
>No.......No No No No No No No No!
>you move your hands up and down the base of the pole in disbelief
>You hear whistling coming from the newly formed crowd of mares around the stage
>"Yeah! Work that pole anon!" One shouts
>You remove your hands from the pole, they are now generously covered in a cherry smelling lubricant
>You turn to the crowd of mares
"Does anyone have a towel that I can use?"
>The crowd goes silent, not even a peep except for an awkward cough
>Figures
>You were certain your situation hit bedrock, but you were wrong so horribly wrong
>There is only one thing you can do now
"Dont worry spaghetti, Im gonna get that sack"
>The spaghetti in your pocket begins to tremble knowing whats coming next
>Slowly you remove your "P.C's Peetzer" shirt, exposing your relatively new muscly physique to the crowd of mares
>You still cant believe how swole you had gotten just from lifting peetzer all day, maybe it was something they put in the water or.....peetzer?
>The crowd of mares pulls you away from your thoughts
>They have gotten louder, not shouts and whistles however. Heavy breathing, thats all their is. Just....heavy breathing
>You observe the crowd to get a good idea of what your dealing with. Every eye you see is large and focused on you. Some mares are licking their lips while others you swear are grinding on the floor. There are also a few that are panting heavily and slowly inching towards the stage
>You think you might even see a mare that reassembles the mother of a certain butter pegasus doing unwholesome acts upon her body with her own hoofs
>Spaghetti was right, taking of your shirt was a huge mistake, you can see that now
>You wipe of your hands with your shirt and begin rubbing the pole with it as well, trying to remove as much of the sweet smelling lubricant as you can and then stuff the shirt into your back pocket
>Your back is faced to the crowd in an effort to hide your swoleness from the horny mares as well as to keep you from seeing their hungry faces that are constantly focused on you.
"Well here goes nothing."
>You place both hands on the somewhat de-lubed pole and hoist yourself up
>Surprisingly you dont slip down
>Finally something is going your way
>As you start to slowly shimmy up the pole the crowd of mares begin to start up again with more whistling and shouts
>You try to block them out to the best of your ability and try to stay focused on your current objective
>"I dont get paid enough for this shit" You think to yourself
>Your making decent headway however, you are already more than halfway to your target.
You pause for a moment and find the most stable grip you could get with one hand
>You take your free hand and fish out the shirt from your back pocket and begin to mop up the sweat that is starting coat your body
>Wouldn't want a sweat related slip up now would we?
>You return the shirt into your back pocket and prepare to start shimmying up again, but you can feel something tugging at your shirt
"What the...."
>You look back towards your pocket and to your dismay you see a pink aura tugging on your shirt slowly removing it from your pocket
>Oh hell no!
>You reach back to grab your shirt, and tug back on it, but the pull is strong and makes you slide down a few inches
>Your shirt is now fully out of your pocket and is suspended in the air by both your hand and the unicorns magical tug
>Its gonna be risky, but you cant afford to lose that shirt, its the only one you have and you cant afford to buy another
>You squeeze the pull as hard as you can with your thighs and bend backwards reaching for your shirt with your other hand all the while exposing more of your sweaty chest to the crowd of mares.
>The shouts and whistles grow even louder than before and some mares begin to get on the stage
>This positions was attracting even more unwanted attention
>However with this position you are able to see the offending unicorn
>Its a slightly chubby pink mare with purple mane that you immediately recognize as rarity's mom
>Her face is a dark red and her eyes are of someone who knows what she wants, and she wants your shirt
>How many more of these mom ponys are their in this sleazy place?
>Do they all just hang out like their daughters, but instead of going on adventures and saving the world, they hit up strip clubs and try to molest peetzer boys?
>Your thoughts are interrupted by the shifting of the contents in your pocket
>Spaghetti noodles are starting worm their way out
>You dont have much time
>With all the force you can muster, you tear your shirt from the unicorns magical grip and put it in between your teeth
>You are so close to your goal and your spaghetti has almost reached its limit, you have to pull through no matter what
>You forget the building aches in your muscles
>You forget the sweat rolling down your body
>You forget the sweet taste of the cherry lubricant that stains your shirt
>You forget the suffocating smell of love juices
>You forget the loud crowd of mares now gathered around the pole
>All your focused on is getting that sack
>You are almost able to climb up to the top of the pole
>Just one little shimmy from being able to reach the brown bag
>You reach up and put one hand just underneath the bit bag
>Your hand is greeted with a familiar feeling, a familiar slippery feeling
>It immediately slides down knocking into your other hand making you gasp in surprise releasing your shirt from your mouth
>Your shirt falls from your mouth into the horny milf infested waters below
>FUCK MY LIFE
"They lubed the top of the pole those fuckers"
>With no shirt to rub the lube off the pole your shit outta luck
"No, I was so close, dammit" you sigh to yourself in defeat
>"nnn....noooo....anon.....dont give up...." a strange voice emanates from your pockets
"What the hell was that?"
>You look down towards your pocket and see your spaghetti
>It is 3/4 out of your pocket and is ready to fall at any moment
>"be...lieve...in.y..yourself like..I...believe in...you"
>His time is almost up and he knows it, and yet he still believes in you.
"Spaghetti...." you say with tears starting to form in your eyes.
>You have to do this
>Do it for Spaghetti!
>Mustering the last of your strength you attempt to launch your body up to the ceiling
>To your surprise you dont actually make that much headway to the top, you just go up a couple of inches, enough to reach the sack however
>Another odd detail is the grinding of what sounded like metal when you tried to launch yourself up the pole
>These details are interesting and all, but not really the most important thing you should be focusing on right now
>With that thought you shoot your hand up and quickly grab the sack before you descend
>Windy wasn't lying when she said their was a sizeable amount in this bit bag, just buy the heft it has you estimate there is at least 40-50 bits in their.
>MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! THE BITS HAVE BEEN RETRIEVED. NOW YOU JUST NEED TO GET DOWN THIS POLE AND GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE.
>You release your legs and arms from the pole ready to descend however you dont descended
>Somehow your caught on something
>After looking more closely its your belt buckle that appears to be glued to the pole
>Its just a smooth cylinder surface so how can your belt get stuck on it
>You use your legs and free hand to try hand push yourself off the metal cylinder
>Your only able to separate your belt from the pole by a few centimeters till it is pulled back with great force
"Who the hell magnetized my belt?" You ask bewildered
>However it hits you quick
>Velvet must have did something to your belt when she was trying to magic it off.
>These pony are devious, they literally thought of everything.
>Thank god they only want to fuck you and not murder you
>You dont think anyone would ever find the body
>You try to remove your belt from the pole again, but you cant even manage get it off anymore
>You cant even get enough room to undo your belt
>Fantastic
>It would seem you have use your last resort
>Your last resort being to flail around
>You flail to the right and left trying to get your belt unstuck
>The crowd of mares stare up at you wondering what exactly are you doing
>All except for two mares however
>Windy looks over to velvet with a stern look on her face
>"Velvet, I think you might have over magnetized his belt a bit."
>"He he yeah, sorry about that. He kinda moved away before I could get it just right." Twilight Velvet says sheepishly with and embarrassed grin on her face.
>"Lemme just..."
>Velvet points her horn at anon and it begins to glow
>You feel your belt turn 90 degrees to the left as you flail around
"Oh this is not good"
>You try to correct yourself to an upright position, but your belt only continues to move counter clockwise
>Soon you find yourself face towards the crowd of mares and feet facing the sealing
>Spaghetti levels are critical! You cant hold back anymore
>You see spaghetti start to dribble out of your pockets and fall towards the heated ponys below
>You reach your hand out trying to grab your spaghetti, but its no use
>Seeing your spaghetti finally spill out of your pants you fail to realize that its not the only thing slipping out of your pants
>You feel your pants slide below your waste and the group of mares as well as the ground get closer
>You fall to the stage with pants left behind at the top of the pole
>You land on your back with a thud
>Fortunately it wasnt really that far of a drop, just a few feet so the pain is minimal
>Your pride is in pain however since you are surrounded by a bunch of horny horses wearing nothing but your pepperoni patterned boxers
>Your boss says they are apart of the uniform
"Ow"
>With no Anon to keep the balance in your now anonless pants, spaghetti and marinara begin to spew forth from your pockets
>Its raining tomato sauce and noodles all over the stage
>The hot and bothered equines look towards the spaghetti shower and try to catch as much sauce and noodles as they can in their mouth
>You think to yourself "How can this get any worse?"
>Little did you know it can always get worse, and it will always get worse
>With the pasta seal broken and the air ripe with the smell of sexy juice and marinara the ancient beast awakens from its slumber
>Your boner slowly rises from the fly of your boxers with a yawn and stands at attention
>"Hey Anon! Hows it going? What did I miss?"
"Boner please."
>With the torrent of the fine Italian dish coming to an end, and the mares now thoroughly covered in you spaghet, they direct their attention back to you
>Their eyes just as hungry if not more so as before
>Your spaghetti was just an appetizer for them, and now the main course is rocketing out of your underwear
>"HOLY SHIT YES" your penis twitches in excitement
"Boner......why?"
>"Cmon anon, dont be gay, we both know where I stand in these types of situation"
>A light grey mare wearing glasses with a mane tied up in a bun trots over to your hand and lifts the sack of bits from your hand
>"I'll set these aside for you Anon, wouldn't want your hard earned money getting lost in the commotion now would we"
"Uhh, thanks."
>"Dont worry about it anon, you have plenty of time to show how thankful you are." she says in what can only be described as a seductive amish tone.
>The mares begin to swarm to you, and all light in your vision begins to fade to black as numerous cougar pones obstruct your vision
>You swear the last thing you saw was Windy Whistles now stripped of her long sleeve shirt munching on a slice of the "extra everything phallic pizza" she had ordered as she made her way to the herd of ponys around you
>"Hey save some anon for me!" she shouts at the crowd.
>As you feel the warm breath of countless mares hit every part of your exposed body you close your eyes and resign yourself to your fate.
>The hot breath and mare musk only gets more intense as they finally close in on your exposed everything
>In all actuality these types of nights have become more common in your line of work during the more "heated" months of the year
"Pizza Time." you whisper to yourself.

*INSERT CLOP HERE*

>*Some time later*
>You hobble back to "P.C's Peetzer", a shell of the former Anon you were when you got out of bed this morning
>You hold a bag of bits in one hand and a Tupperware container of pasta salad in the other
>Everything aches and your body is covered with so many different marks of passion and secret sauces that you fear what sex monster will stare at you from the bathroom mirror tonight
>Fortunately you were able to get your pants back, as well as your shirt
>However you did have to perform lewd unspeakable acts upon Rarity's mom in order to convince her to give you your shirt back
>You would rather not talk about those acts
>You push the door open to your place of work and limp inside
>You see your boss picking her teeth at the counter while reading a book
>She looks up in your direction
>"ANON WHERES IN EQUESTRAI HAVE YOU BEEN? YOUS BEEN GONE FOR ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF!"
>"Sorry Cadance, I.....I got lost.....Can I go home now?"
>Cadance's face turns to that of bewilderment
>The way her expression is, its almost like you had asked her if you could throw a peetzer party for all of ponyville and serve only tacos
>"GO HOME? YOU CANT GO HOME ANON! YOUS STILL GOT PEETZERS TO DELIVER! she hollers in her fake Italian Brooklyn hybrid accent.
>What?
"What!? Ok Cadance, drop the fucking accent, we closed well over an hour ago! How the fuck do I still have peetzers to deliver?!"
>Being sent out 10 minutes before close to deliver a pizza was very annoying
>Having to climb a pole to get peetzer money wasnt fun
>Getting violated by a bunch of mature horses was definitely taxing on your morale
>You also know for a fact that your gonna have to spend a generous amount of time in your bathroom scrubbing out the love stains that have seeped into your soul
>But having to work more than your scheduled hours is really starting to upsetti your late spaghetti
>"DANG IT ANON, THEIR ARE MARES OUT THERE IN HEAT AND THEY ARE HUNGRY FOR PEETZER! THEY NEED THE PEETZER ANON!"
>You give her a stern unamused look
>Seeing this, Cadance shrinks a little and starts to look somewhat apologetic
>"I.....Im sorry Anon. They called it in right after you left and I didnt want to let anypony down. I told them their would be a long wait, but they insisted." She says in a now quiet mournful tone
>Her face has turned to that of sorrow as if she just had to tell her daughter that she is deathly allergic to peetzer and would never be able to enjoy a hot slice of Equestria's most perfect vegetable
>The sight of this cute princess pony experiencing the forbidden emotion known as sadness starts to make your icy pizza heart thaw
>BUT NO! YOU HOLD ONTO YOUR RESOLVE! BESIDES, WORKING WHEN YOUR NOT SUPPOSED TO BE WORKING IS THE WORST
"Cant we just call and tell em that we wont be able to make it tonight? Im sure they would understand."
>She seems to get even more desperate as she gets on her pony equivalent of knees and rests her front hoofs on your stomach
>"Oh no! Please Anon! You have to deliver those peetzers! They are for Twilight and her friends! She his having a sleep over at her castle and I promised her the peetzers would be delivered there tonight!
>She looks to you with tears starting to form in her eyes and her bottom lip starts to quiver
>God dammit
>You let out an audible sigh
"Fine, I'll deliver the peetzers to Twilights dumb little sleepover." you groan in defeat
>Cadance's expression immediately one-eightys into an overjoyed one as she wraps her front hooves around your waist and pulls her face uncomfortably close to your crotch
>"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you Anon! I knew my #1 employee wouldn't let me down!" She exclaims as she mashes her face into your groin
>You stand there starting to get progressively more uncomfortable with her show of affection
>You feel now is the optimal time to end this """"""hug"""""" being that Cadance is starting to rub her muzzle on your crotch
"Alright, I better get to delivering those peetzers to Twilight and her friends ha..ha." you exclaim awkwardly as you pull away from Cadance's embrace
>"Y....yeah." she whispers still somewhat entranced by your musky pizza boy aroma
>Quickly, you make your way to the kitchen to get your bearings
>Throwing open the fridge, you set your Tupperware container of pasta salad next to the others and withdraw a fresh new Ziploc baggy of spaghetti
>It vibrates in excitement at the thought of finally getting to go on its first peetzer delivery
>slipping the spaghetti into your pocket, you grab the pizzas for Twilight and her friends and make your way towards the door
>Stopping right before you exit, you turn to Cadance
"Oh before I go, lemme give you the peetzer money from my last delivery."
>She looks up to you with a puzzled look
>"Money? You weren't supposed to collect any money from that job. It had been prepaid."
>What?

THE END........or maybe not.......

Thank god thats over. Maybe when I decide to write another green text 2 years from now, I might actually make it RGRE related. Anyways thanks for reading my first ever green text story. Sleep tight Pizza anons.