Hoarders Level Shit

My apartment is readily approaching the point at which I either need to dedicate a couple of days to some serious cleaning, or I need to start developing a neurosis that gives purpose to the mess. It’s not like I have stacks of magazines that I’m too anxious to throw out; it’s just that I have stacks of magazines that are 3 flights of stairs away from the dumpster. Basically I don’t want to be the first person on the show Hoarders just for being insanely lazy. “Yeah go ahead and throw all this junk away; I’ll just pretend to be reluctant long enough for you guys to get the footage you need, then I think I’m going to go get some pizza. By the way, let me know if you come across a cat; we haven’t seen ours in a few weeks now. Oh hey you found him. Yeah just go ahead and throw it out.”

Alt: “Oh hey you found our old cat.”