big boring paragraphs ahead

see, i have never asked/begged for a game, not from people that i dont know at least. everything in my library have been gifts from friends around the world (specially those who left the country looking for a better life), raffles, etc. some years ago i even did some jobs through the internet for my uncles living in america (handling some "paperwork" stuff for their uni, things like that) in exchange of some paypal money, anything to give the developers at least something back because they deserve it, and more. even living in conditions like mine, i despise piracy with a passion, and i hate how im pretty much forced to do it sometimes because of my lack of options. i feel guilty, shitty, and i just cant enjoy the game properly knowing i didnt get it in a fair way.

now, why cant my uncles do me a favor? why cant my friends do it like they always do? well, thats the problem. my uncles have pretty much distanced themselves from me and my family (they used to send us some spare cash every now and then but i guess they got tired of it), and my friends, well... i just feel like they have done enough. i have asked for four games and i know that i would be crossing a line if i keep doing it. i dont want to be abusive, specially knowing that they might feel bad for me because i was left behind.

anyway. i typed too much, kinda needed to get it off my chest. i dont want anyone to feel bad for me, because i have a job, my mom has a job, we all work and have a low-middle class life, it's pretty alright compared to the horrors i see on the street almost daily, and hopefully, some years down the line, i'll be able to look for a better life somewhere else, and hopefully, be able to always buy my own games and repay those who helped me. but for now, im stuck to begging.

big thank you for anyone who read that god damn blog post, haha. also, now that i think of it, living in a country like this and asking for videogames instead of money for food feels sketchy as all hell. well, i cant simply accept money directly because i wont trust any online "paypal to bolívares" scam, and besides, as i said, we are pretty alright on that aspect. sure i cant buy new clothes nor eat anything thats not homemade (you wouldnt believe how expensive a mcdonald burguer is for example), so the only luxury that i have are videogames, and thankfully, thats also the only thing i "have" to beg for.

again. thank you for reading.