Tired :/

mochiToday at 8:53 PM
But uh okay I love you a lot and I really don't want to come off as mean or rude when I say this because I don't want any issues or anything like that, but there is something that's been bugging me for the past couple days and I thought the best thing to do would be to talk it out!
EndymionToday at 8:54 PM
Absolutely, that's something that I always, always encourage whenever there's a problem rather than just sitting on it and hoping it goes away
I can't know something if I'm not told what's going on
mochiToday at 9:05 PM
The other night, when we were all on the voice call, there were a couple of things said and done that really upset me and Annie both. The first thing being when you and Milk were talking about wanting to re-join the Death Note server just to bully the Light. I tried to explain that I wasn't really wanting that to happen since they hadn't done anything wrong in the new server, and I actually really enjoyed interacting with them. But, I felt as if what I wanted was shot down, and the Light did end up leaving anyway. I know they were weird in the old bnha server, but they'd done nothing wrong in the death note server.

The second thing that really bothered me, and really upset Annie, was when you said that cosplaying and cons was a waste of money. Both of us have been doing it for years, and we both greatly enjoy it. For me, it allows me to escape and forget about all the BS going on around me. And Annie does have their own reasons for doing it, too. We realize it's an expensive hobby, and we don'
t go to cons all the time. We go to two big cons per year, and that's really when we get to see each other/other friends too. It means a lot to us, and we both felt shamed for doing something we enjoy.
(sorry for the double message i hit enter on accident)
EndymionToday at 9:19 PM
Okay, let me address these in order. First, you're right, that was completely a dick move on my part vis a vis the Light. This is your server and your community, so your preferences should be taken into account. Especially because I'm not a member of the server normally, it's not my place to come in and cause chaos just for the sake of it when I'm not even invested in Death Note enough to genuinely RP it. For what it's worth, at the time I genuinely didn't register that it was an issue to be taken seriously; we were all laughing and I thought that it was all just silly, harmless fun with no impact on the story. I certainly didn't think the Light would actually leave over it without giving any indication or requesting to stop. I just assumed it was a joke we were all in on and it wasn't hurting anyone. This turned out to be false. I'm sorry for that.
Secondly, what I want to be clearly understood, and what I maybe didn't get across as clearly as I wanted to, is not that I think cosplay and cons are inherently a waste of money. I love seeing people cosplay and I think it's a real art that deserves to be celebrated. I obviously don't have a problem with Ave or Starry or Julian cosplaying, what I wanted to make clear is that, in this situation, in these circumstances where everything is so uncertain and there could be serious, life-ruining, disastrous consequences especially financially, that now is not the time to be spending money that could be saved should the worst happen. Even before this Coronavirus pandemic, you had a pressing need to move out and live independently, and I felt that shelling out money for cosplay and cons, both very expensive endeavors, was not the right financial decision. You can disagree with me on this, that's fine, it is ultimately your life, but as your friend, as somebody who cares about you and wants the best for you, I want you to have the absolute best chance of succeeding. I don't want you to constantly be stuck in the same situation because I see and I hear how miserable it's making you. I've said before that there will be time for cosplay later, when you're set up somewhere that's just your own, when you're secure in your living situation and can afford to put your money toward something you're passionate about. It wasn't my intention to dismiss cosplay as a hobby or upset Annie, but I do stand by what I said and know in my heart that it comes from a place of worry, not of mockery.
The things that both Milk and I had a problem with were that you bought tickets to a con when there was already a crisis happening (Annie buying their ticket in October vs. yours in February) and that you already have cosplays that you can still use and fine-tune before moving onto the next one and the one after that. Using what you have instead of making room for more and more. That's really all there was to the conversation.
mochiToday at 9:45 PM
Okay but nobody knew how bad it was going to be? Plus, I am saving my money. I'm not spending all of it on cosplay and con tickets. I have over $2100 in my savings alone right now, and even then I was already building on it. Yes, I do want to get out really bad. And I am working on that. But I also still want to be able to go to cons and be able to get out for a few days and be able to be surrounded by friends and not have to worry about my mom or dad or brothers. Or be stuck at work all the time. Plus, I need time to find a roommate too. Because no matter how much I save, something could happen and it would be so much easier to have a roommate too. So yes, I do understand where you are coming from, but I'm also hoping that you can see where I am as well.

And I don't dish out new cosplays at every con, for the cosplays for this con that was supposed to happen in May, I already had a lot of the stuff for. And I know that I can reuse stuff, and I planned to. I still plan to at future cons. There's so many plans that I've been wanting to do for years that I still haven't done yet, too. I make sure that the ones I do at cons aren't going to cost me all that much(Persephone was a little pricier, but she was really the only expensive one).

And again, about the pandemic, nobody knew how bad it was going to be by then. It was still early February when I bought the ticket.

And with the Light, we weren't all laughing the whole time. I even said "I want to give them a second chance" to which you replied: "Mmm, don't like that" and immediately shot me down.  And that's why I was sop quiet for the rest of the night, because I wanted to say something and was afraid of being shot down again.
And, again, I really don't want to come off as rude or anything like that, I'm just trying to explain my side of things.
Also, one more note, not to change the subject or anything, but Annie uses they/them pronouns. Not she/her.
EndymionToday at 9:52 PM
My bad!
Editing
EndymionToday at 10:07 PM
Okay, yes, nobody knew that it was going to explode in the US, but we absolutely had confirmation all over the news and social media that it was a huge problem in February, that the death toll was climbing, and we have been warned since 2015 that we would be completely unprepared for an epidemic. This is the sort of thing that would cause me personally to stop and think, "Wait, just because this thing is happening the world over doesn't mean there's no chance of it becoming a problem here, maybe I should be ready to change my big, expensive plans sooner rather than later." Hindsight is 20/20 and no, I don't expect you or anybody else to see into the future, but keeping an eye on what plenty of people have been saying since January and considering how it might impact you if the situation gets bad enough is not an unreasonable thing to ask.

Like I said and continue to say, you can make your own decisions about your hobbies and what you choose to spend your money on. But the people in your life are also allowed to comment their thoughts and say their piece, to give you some insight or offer up a different perspective. This is not a new phenomenon, with me and Milk and Starry reminding you what the goal is, we've been nothing if not consistent on letting you know that cosplay is a priority that can be shifted aside temporarily. Not forever, not because it's dumb or a waste, but because it's not essential. Especially as of right now. Maybe you couldn't have made that decision back in February, but you can make it now, and that's really what my focus is on.
And with the Light, you're right, I should have been more attentive to what you were feeling and asked if it was okay rather than assuming, but I do wish you would have said something a little sooner after the fact so I could have corrected myself faster.