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- 1
- 00:01:00,811 --> 00:01:01,858
- Is he asleep yet?
- 2
- 00:01:01,979 --> 00:01:04,607
- Yeah, I'll go put him to bed.
- 3
- 00:01:07,943 --> 00:01:11,038
- R. Kelly always does the trick.
- 4
- 00:01:11,947 --> 00:01:15,167
- I think Evan may be
- developing a rash.
- 5
- 00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:17,498
- You know, when you rub
- the Aquaphor on his tush,
- 6
- 00:01:17,578 --> 00:01:19,080
- you can't just
- put it on his cheeks,
- 7
- 00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:21,256
- you have to rub it
- all over the anus, too.
- 8
- 00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,333
- All over the anus, got it.
- 9
- 00:01:25,127 --> 00:01:27,050
- I think I'm going
- to take a bath, okay?
- 10
- 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,886
- Okay, babe. Go for it.
- 11
- 00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:56,537
- Not this time.
- 12
- 00:01:57,367 --> 00:02:01,372
- Okay, come on, come on, come
- on, come on, come on. Okay.
- 13
- 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:05,713
- Yep.
- 14
- 00:02:08,879 --> 00:02:10,802
- Oh, yeah, you like
- it nasty, don't you?
- 15
- 00:02:10,881 --> 00:02:14,385
- Oh, I do. I do, I'm sorry.
- Guilty as charged.
- 16
- 00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,603
- God, you're so big, it hurts.
- 17
- 00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:18,605
- I know, I can't help it.
- 18
- 00:02:18,764 --> 00:02:19,936
- Oh, yeah!
- 19
- 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,224
- Give it to me, daddy. Oh, yeah.
- 20
- 00:02:21,308 --> 00:02:22,776
- Give it to me, daddy.
- Give it to me... Oh, yeah.
- 21
- 00:02:22,934 --> 00:02:24,186
- Daddy?
- 22
- 00:02:25,896 --> 00:02:28,024
- Evan! What the...
- 23
- 00:02:28,190 --> 00:02:29,567
- You're opening doors now?
- How did...
- 24
- 00:02:30,150 --> 00:02:31,868
- - I saw a monster.
- - A what?
- 25
- 00:02:32,027 --> 00:02:33,745
- Stick your
- finger in my asshole.
- 26
- 00:02:33,904 --> 00:02:34,951
- God.
- 27
- 00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:36,205
- Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah!
- 28
- 00:02:36,281 --> 00:02:37,533
- Come on, come on, come on.
- Fuck, yeah!
- 29
- 00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,417
- I want you to come
- all over my...
- 30
- 00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:41,578
- Oh, my God!
- 31
- 00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,421
- Evan, don't touch that!
- 32
- 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:48,836
- Don't...
- 33
- 00:02:50,587 --> 00:02:51,759
- Daddy, boo-boo.
- 34
- 00:02:52,589 --> 00:02:53,761
- What the...
- 35
- 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:55,847
- Oh, my God.
- 36
- 00:02:55,926 --> 00:02:57,553
- Okay, don't move. Stay here.
- 37
- 00:02:57,636 --> 00:02:59,388
- Daddy needs a Band-Aid.
- 38
- 00:03:04,267 --> 00:03:05,439
- Michelle?
- 39
- 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:08,438
- Do you...
- 40
- 00:03:10,273 --> 00:03:12,071
- Mommy, Daddy, are you okay?
- 41
- 00:03:46,476 --> 00:03:47,568
- Jim Levenstein.
- 42
- 00:03:47,644 --> 00:03:49,988
- They still haven't gotten
- you an assistant yet, huh?
- 43
- 00:03:50,147 --> 00:03:52,775
- Kev, I'm sorry, I've been
- meaning to call you back.
- 44
- 00:03:52,941 --> 00:03:54,614
- - I've just been...
- - Busy?
- 45
- 00:03:54,776 --> 00:03:55,993
- I get it.
- 46
- 00:03:56,153 --> 00:03:57,655
- Look, I'll make
- this quick, okay?
- 47
- 00:03:58,530 --> 00:04:00,828
- The reunion, you in?
- 48
- 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,789
- Hold on, is that
- really happening?
- 49
- 00:04:02,951 --> 00:04:04,328
- Yeah, man, check your Facebook.
- 50
- 00:04:04,494 --> 00:04:06,246
- Look, I know they missed
- the ten-year by a couple,
- 51
- 00:04:06,329 --> 00:04:08,832
- but, you know, seems like
- people are actually going.
- 52
- 00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:11,176
- - Hey, hon.
- - Hey!
- 53
- 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,299
- Mmm. Dinner smells great.
- 54
- 00:04:13,462 --> 00:04:14,429
- Hey, Ellie.
- 55
- 00:04:14,504 --> 00:04:15,505
- Hey, Jim.
- 56
- 00:04:15,839 --> 00:04:17,682
- Ooh, Bachelorette finale later.
- 57
- 00:04:18,341 --> 00:04:20,810
- And don't forget, we still
- have to watch Real Housewives.
- 58
- 00:04:20,969 --> 00:04:23,017
- Yeah, how could I forget?
- 59
- 00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:25,148
- Hey, Kev, you know who
- my favorite housewife is?
- 60
- 00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:27,313
- You.
- 61
- 00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:28,693
- Very funny.
- 62
- 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:33,028
- Look, I love my wife, but I
- need a weekend with the guys.
- 63
- 00:04:33,190 --> 00:04:36,239
- Come on, we'll go a few days early.
- No Stifler this time.
- 64
- 00:04:36,401 --> 00:04:39,029
- Just you, me, Oz and Finch.
- 65
- 00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,823
- Yeah, well,
- good luck with that.
- 66
- 00:04:40,989 --> 00:04:43,663
- I heard Finch's mom doesn't
- even know where he is.
- 67
- 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,917
- And what about Oz?
- 68
- 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:48,338
- I mean, do you really think he would
- come with all he has going on?
- 69
- 00:04:54,711 --> 00:04:56,884
- And we're back
- here on Sports View,
- 70
- 00:04:56,963 --> 00:05:00,388
- with my special guest,
- Chad Ochocinco.
- 71
- 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:03,178
- Chad, which college
- football powerhouse
- 72
- 00:05:03,345 --> 00:05:06,098
- is gonna have the most players
- drafted in this year's draft?
- 73
- 00:05:06,264 --> 00:05:09,188
- I'm gonna have to go with my
- alma mater, the Oregon State.
- 74
- 00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,571
- Come on, man!
- What are you smoking, Ocho?
- 75
- 00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:14,481
- You think I don't know
- what I'm talking about?
- 76
- 00:05:14,564 --> 00:05:16,737
- Do me a favor,
- take a look at the tape.
- 77
- 00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:19,073
- Hey, babe, I'm home!
- 78
- 00:05:19,236 --> 00:05:22,581
- And that wraps it up for my
- special guest, Chad Ochocinco.
- 79
- 00:05:22,739 --> 00:05:27,415
- This is Chris Ostreicher reminding
- you to play on, plava!
- 80
- 00:05:36,628 --> 00:05:38,050
- Hey, Mia?
- 81
- 00:05:39,589 --> 00:05:42,843
- Oh, my gosh!
- So funny.
- 82
- 00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:46,972
- Oh, hey, baby!
- 83
- 00:05:47,556 --> 00:05:48,603
- Hi!
- 84
- 00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:50,642
- I was just watching
- your show a minute ago.
- 85
- 00:05:50,725 --> 00:05:51,772
- Oh, yeah?
- 86
- 00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,027
- Is everything okay?
- 87
- 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,939
- You tell me. You're in the
- hot tub with another dude.
- 88
- 00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,449
- You are worried about Deshaun?
- 89
- 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,776
- Aw, that is so cute!
- 90
- 00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,913
- Deshaun's the interior
- decorator I told you about.
- 91
- 00:06:03,071 --> 00:06:04,539
- Hey, Christopher!
- 92
- 00:06:04,698 --> 00:06:06,951
- Strip down! Come join us.
- 93
- 00:06:07,576 --> 00:06:10,420
- Maybe next time, Deshaun.
- 94
- 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:15,922
- I still don't get why we
- need an interior decorator.
- 95
- 00:06:16,084 --> 00:06:19,213
- Because the place needs to look
- perfect for the InStyle shoot.
- 96
- 00:06:19,379 --> 00:06:20,972
- Babe, trust me.
- 97
- 00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:23,509
- Remember how you didn't wanna go
- on Celebrity Dance Off at first?
- 98
- 00:06:23,925 --> 00:06:25,893
- Now think of all
- the fans you have.
- 99
- 00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:30,728
- Oh! I almost forgot, Mario Lopez
- is having a Memorial Day party.
- 100
- 00:06:31,474 --> 00:06:32,726
- I told him we're in.
- 101
- 00:06:33,909 --> 00:06:36,564
- Actually,
- I was thinking about going
- 102
- 00:06:36,646 --> 00:06:39,069
- to my high school
- reunion that weekend.
- 103
- 00:06:40,150 --> 00:06:42,949
- Well, if you're going,
- I'm going, too.
- 104
- 00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,783
- - Really?
- - Yeah.
- 105
- 00:06:44,946 --> 00:06:45,947
- All right.
- 106
- 00:06:46,031 --> 00:06:48,375
- Mia, love, phone call.
- It's Rumer.
- 107
- 00:06:48,450 --> 00:06:50,293
- Oh, shit, let me talk to her.
- 108
- 00:06:50,952 --> 00:06:53,751
- What's with you jacking
- my style, bitch?
- 109
- 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,629
- Anything I can
- get for you, Christopher?
- 110
- 00:07:00,921 --> 00:07:02,013
- Uh...
- 111
- 00:07:18,021 --> 00:07:21,321
- Morning, co-workers
- and cock-jerkers!
- 112
- 00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:23,280
- Reggie, give me some love.
- 113
- 00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,953
- Looking good, Stifler.
- 114
- 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,781
- Ladies, better be working hard,
- 115
- 00:07:27,864 --> 00:07:29,286
- you weren't hired
- for your looks.
- 116
- 00:07:29,366 --> 00:07:31,039
- Actually, you were.
- 117
- 00:07:31,368 --> 00:07:32,665
- Not you.
- 118
- 00:07:34,537 --> 00:07:35,959
- Seriously?
- 119
- 00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:40,089
- Bob, what are you doing here?
- 120
- 00:07:40,168 --> 00:07:41,420
- Don't you know
- they fired your ass?
- 121
- 00:07:41,503 --> 00:07:42,595
- What?
- 122
- 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:44,514
- I'm just fucking with you.
- 123
- 00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:45,799
- Or am I?
- 124
- 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,600
- Hey!
- 125
- 00:07:49,386 --> 00:07:51,730
- Coffee for the pretty lady?
- 126
- 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,686
- Sure, thanks.
- 127
- 00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,816
- Let me know if you want
- some creamer with that.
- 128
- 00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:04,905
- Hello, you. How are you?
- 129
- 00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:06,593
- "Oh, I'm good, Stifmeister,
- 'cause you know what?
- 130
- 00:08:06,594 --> 00:08:08,117
- 'Cause you're the best."
- 131
- 00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,494
- "Oh, I am the best."
- "Yes, you are the..."
- 132
- 00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:13,786
- "You know, I love you so much that I'm
- going to just have some fun down here."
- 133
- 00:08:13,868 --> 00:08:15,285
- "Oh, yeah, yeah..."
- 134
- 00:08:15,286 --> 00:08:17,664
- - What the hell are you doing?
- - Jesus Christ!
- 135
- 00:08:17,914 --> 00:08:21,043
- Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy
- It's... I was just...
- 136
- 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,168
- - Huh?
- - That's good, it's all clean.
- 137
- 00:08:22,752 --> 00:08:25,005
- I told you to print out the morning
- numbers and put them on my desk,
- 138
- 00:08:25,088 --> 00:08:26,635
- and you're making
- yourself at home?
- 139
- 00:08:26,756 --> 00:08:28,554
- - No, I just thought...
- - "I just thought..."
- 140
- 00:08:28,883 --> 00:08:31,102
- I don't pay you to think.
- You are a temp.
- 141
- 00:08:31,553 --> 00:08:34,432
- Yeah, about that. I feel like I'm
- being way underutilized here.
- 142
- 00:08:35,557 --> 00:08:36,854
- Oh, you do, do you?
- 143
- 00:08:37,058 --> 00:08:38,935
- Thank you for telling
- me how you feel.
- 144
- 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:40,729
- Do you mind if I
- tell you how I feel?
- 145
- 00:08:41,563 --> 00:08:44,942
- I feel the sooner you realize
- that you're the bitch,
- 146
- 00:08:45,775 --> 00:08:47,027
- not the boss,
- 147
- 00:08:48,737 --> 00:08:50,410
- the better
- off you will be.
- 148
- 00:08:51,239 --> 00:08:52,832
- - Fucker.
- - What was that?
- 149
- 00:08:52,991 --> 00:08:54,117
- Nothing!
- 150
- 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,419
- Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy.
- 151
- 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:58,254
- Fucker!
- 152
- 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:09,178
- You know, we still haven't
- discussed the whole
- 153
- 00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:11,558
- bathtub incident.
- 154
- 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,728
- Huh? Oh, that? That's...
- 155
- 00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:16,060
- That... Don't worry about that.
- 156
- 00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:19,980
- Well, I mean,
- you know, obviously,
- 157
- 00:09:20,060 --> 00:09:22,688
- I would prefer it
- if I was the one
- 158
- 00:09:22,771 --> 00:09:25,024
- that made you
- feel that way, but...
- 159
- 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:26,692
- I know how you feel.
- 160
- 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:30,863
- Every time I want to shop online
- and I start typing "Amazon,"
- 161
- 00:09:31,029 --> 00:09:35,535
- akumenang.com
- pops up.
- 162
- 00:09:36,659 --> 00:09:38,457
- Amazing what?
- 163
- 00:09:39,162 --> 00:09:41,915
- Okay, look, obviously
- 164
- 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:47,596
- we need to have
- more fun together.
- 165
- 00:09:47,754 --> 00:09:49,552
- I promise you, this weekend,
- 166
- 00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:54,060
- there is going to be plenty of
- Jim and Michelle time, okay?
- 167
- 00:10:01,893 --> 00:10:02,985
- Hey!
- 168
- 00:10:03,061 --> 00:10:04,108
- Hello, sweetheart.
- 169
- 00:10:04,187 --> 00:10:05,530
- How are you? Oh!
- 170
- 00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,240
- - It's so good to see you.
- - Hey, Dad.
- 171
- 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:09,113
- Hello, son! Come here.
- 172
- 00:10:09,192 --> 00:10:11,695
- Hi! Hi!
- 173
- 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,746
- - Oh, no!
- - Look who that is!
- 174
- 00:10:13,822 --> 00:10:17,452
- Look at this big bruiser!
- Oh, my goodness!
- 175
- 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:20,211
- He has grown.
- Look at him! Huh?
- 176
- 00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,794
- Someone's got
- a little poopy diaper.
- 177
- 00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,031
- Jim?
- 178
- 00:11:01,494 --> 00:11:03,542
- I can't believe it's you.
- 179
- 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:06,878
- You don't remember me, do you?
- 180
- 00:11:07,250 --> 00:11:10,379
- - Uh...
- - Remember Teletubby Tuesdays?
- 181
- 00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:12,923
- Kara?
- 182
- 00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:14,762
- Oh, my God.
- 183
- 00:11:15,008 --> 00:11:19,434
- What? You're not
- a kid any more.
- 184
- 00:11:19,596 --> 00:11:22,065
- It's been a long time since
- I needed a babysitter.
- 185
- 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:26,103
- I can't believe how
- much you've grown up.
- 186
- 00:11:26,269 --> 00:11:27,316
- Thanks!
- 187
- 00:11:27,395 --> 00:11:29,397
- It's actually my 18th
- birthday tomorrow.
- 188
- 00:11:29,564 --> 00:11:30,565
- Eighteen, wow.
- 189
- 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,237
- You should come to my party.
- 190
- 00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,318
- Oh, uh...
- 191
- 00:11:33,443 --> 00:11:35,571
- Thank you, no. I...
- Yeah, that might be difficult.
- 192
- 00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:37,530
- Please, I want you
- to come so bad.
- 193
- 00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:42,126
- Hey, Kara! We gotta go.
- 194
- 00:11:42,452 --> 00:11:44,454
- Okay, relax.
- 195
- 00:11:45,079 --> 00:11:47,377
- That's AJ. Don't ask.
- 196
- 00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,542
- Hopefully I will
- see you tomorrow.
- 197
- 00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,133
- - What?
- - Who the fuck was that?
- 198
- 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:54,881
- Hey, sweetie.
- 199
- 00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:55,965
- Hey.
- 200
- 00:11:56,132 --> 00:11:57,224
- Who were you talking to?
- 201
- 00:11:57,300 --> 00:11:59,803
- That was just
- the kid next door.
- 202
- 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:26,629
- Hello, my old friends.
- 203
- 00:12:34,796 --> 00:12:37,015
- I thought about
- throwing them out,
- 204
- 00:12:38,007 --> 00:12:41,432
- but they just have
- too much sentimental value.
- 205
- 00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:42,641
- Yeah.
- 206
- 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:46,266
- Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim.
- 207
- 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:52,363
- You know, I can remember when
- you were just a little guy.
- 208
- 00:12:52,647 --> 00:12:54,445
- And now you've got
- your own little guy.
- 209
- 00:12:54,607 --> 00:12:55,608
- I know.
- 210
- 00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:58,411
- And before you know it,
- he's gonna be a teenager...
- 211
- 00:12:58,486 --> 00:12:59,612
- Wow.
- 212
- 00:12:59,696 --> 00:13:03,121
- And you'll be teaching him
- about masturbation
- 213
- 00:13:03,283 --> 00:13:05,786
- and, you know, all the
- do's and all the don'ts
- 214
- 00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,211
- that have to do with
- the little guy's weenie.
- 215
- 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:08,288
- - Okay?
- - Right?
- 216
- 00:13:08,371 --> 00:13:11,124
- Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst
- by the time he's a teenager...
- 217
- 00:13:11,207 --> 00:13:12,424
- Okay, Dad, I get it.
- ...but I'm just...
- 218
- 00:13:12,500 --> 00:13:14,002
- Well, these are things you're
- gonna have to deal with.
- 219
- 00:13:14,085 --> 00:13:15,758
- I understand. It's just,
- you know, he's two.
- 220
- 00:13:15,837 --> 00:13:17,680
- Well, yeah, maybe
- you've got time, but..
- 221
- 00:13:17,755 --> 00:13:20,725
- So, you know, I just, I'd rather
- not talk about his penis.
- 222
- 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:22,928
- - How you doing, Dad?
- - I'm good.
- 223
- 00:13:23,011 --> 00:13:26,106
- Yeah? What are you doing for fun?
- You seen any movies lately?
- 224
- 00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:29,897
- Well, you know, your mother and
- I did go to a lot of movies.
- 225
- 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:32,645
- Well...
- 226
- 00:13:34,397 --> 00:13:38,243
- You know, it has been three
- years since she passed, Dad.
- 227
- 00:13:39,068 --> 00:13:41,571
- There's gotta be someone in
- town you can see a movie with.
- 228
- 00:13:42,405 --> 00:13:45,033
- I have you now.
- We'll see a movie tonight, you and me.
- 229
- 00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:47,085
- Tonight?
- 230
- 00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:48,878
- Well, I made plans
- with the guys,
- 231
- 00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:50,671
- - to meet up with them tonight at the bar...
- - Oh.
- 232
- 00:13:50,747 --> 00:13:51,919
- - But...
- - Yeah, yeah...
- 233
- 00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:54,672
- But I don't need to do that.
- I can do that tomorrow.
- 234
- 00:13:54,751 --> 00:13:57,425
- No. No, no, no, no.
- This is why you're in town, isn't it?
- 235
- 00:13:57,587 --> 00:13:59,840
- No, no, no.
- You go. I'll be fine.
- 236
- 00:13:59,922 --> 00:14:02,141
- I was just planning
- on staying in tonight
- 237
- 00:14:02,216 --> 00:14:03,934
- and, you know,
- doing a little reading.
- 238
- 00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,433
- Oh, not this. No. No.
- 239
- 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:15,610
- Although, I do remember reading
- a very interesting article
- 240
- 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:18,616
- on something Brazilian.
- 241
- 00:14:18,775 --> 00:14:22,200
- Boy, these pages are all
- stuck together here.
- 242
- 00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:25,911
- I got it.
- 243
- 00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:35,625
- Kev.
- 244
- 00:14:36,542 --> 00:14:37,589
- Hey!
- 245
- 00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:40,801
- - What's up, man?
- - Jim.
- 246
- 00:14:41,089 --> 00:14:42,136
- Hey, guys!
- 247
- 00:14:42,256 --> 00:14:43,758
- - Oz.
- - There he is.
- 248
- 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:44,888
- You made it.
- 249
- 00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,846
- Hey, I missed your wedding,
- I wasn't gonna miss this.
- 250
- 00:14:47,970 --> 00:14:49,643
- - Hey, buddy.
- - What's up, pal?
- 251
- 00:14:49,806 --> 00:14:51,479
- - Good to see you.
- - Yeah, man.
- 252
- 00:14:51,641 --> 00:14:53,143
- Hey, Kev!
- 253
- 00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:54,523
- Looking good, look at you!
- 254
- 00:14:54,602 --> 00:14:56,400
- Oh, stop it. Come on.
- 255
- 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:14,163
- Gentlemen.
- 256
- 00:15:14,414 --> 00:15:16,291
- Finch? Finch!
- 257
- 00:15:16,374 --> 00:15:17,421
- - Oh, my God!
- - It great to see you, James.
- 258
- 00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,467
- Changed at all, Jim.
- 259
- 00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:19,544
- Good to see you, pal.
- 260
- 00:15:19,627 --> 00:15:20,674
- I didn't think you
- were gonna make it.
- 261
- 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,754
- Finch, how are you, man?
- 262
- 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:26,761
- So, after my troubles in Beijing,
- I just moved to Dubai,
- 263
- 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:30,100
- and then I got all caught up in the
- world of underground baccarat.
- 264
- 00:15:30,263 --> 00:15:33,563
- Spent the rest of '09 living
- with this African tribe.
- 265
- 00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:36,815
- Oh, they made me
- an honorary tribesman.
- 266
- 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:37,937
- Oh.
- 267
- 00:15:38,187 --> 00:15:39,359
- Whoa, that looks like it hurt.
- 268
- 00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,524
- It looks like that
- because it did hurt, Kevin.
- 269
- 00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,696
- Since then, I've just been
- biking through South America.
- 270
- 00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,786
- So, basically, you are the most
- interesting man in the world.
- 271
- 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:51,038
- - Yeah.
- - Let me guess,
- 272
- 00:15:51,284 --> 00:15:53,662
- you guys are here
- for the reunion, huh?
- 273
- 00:15:53,828 --> 00:15:55,830
- You got it. Class of '99.
- 274
- 00:15:55,997 --> 00:15:57,544
- Haven't I seen you before?
- 275
- 00:15:57,707 --> 00:15:59,801
- Yeah, I'm on TV.
- 276
- 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,337
- No, not you. You.
- 277
- 00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:07,888
- 'Cause, your face,
- you're just so familiar.
- 278
- 00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,644
- Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right?
- 279
- 00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:12,643
- Oh! Man, Nadia!
- 280
- 00:16:12,722 --> 00:16:15,191
- More, more, you bad boy!
- 281
- 00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:17,477
- I swear I had these all taken down.
- How did you...
- 282
- 00:16:17,560 --> 00:16:19,654
- Oh, yeah. How many times did
- you pre-ejaculate again?
- 283
- 00:16:19,729 --> 00:16:21,197
- Oh, leave him alone.
- 284
- 00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,359
- I bet you were all desperate
- virgins back then.
- 285
- 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:29,242
- Selena Vega.
- 286
- 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:32,663
- - That's Selena Vega in front of us.
- - Wait, wait, wait, Selena...
- 287
- 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:34,744
- Hold on, Michelle's
- friend from band?
- 288
- 00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:35,828
- You got it.
- 289
- 00:16:35,912 --> 00:16:37,710
- Oh, my God. I'm sorry
- I didn't recognize you.
- 290
- 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:39,215
- You look
- 291
- 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:40,666
- different.
- 292
- 00:16:40,917 --> 00:16:43,670
- Well, next round's
- on me, okay, guys?
- 293
- 00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,843
- Hey, that chick was in band?
- 294
- 00:16:47,215 --> 00:16:49,434
- This is the first long weekend
- I have had in a while
- 295
- 00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,761
- so I wanna make it count.
- 296
- 00:16:50,927 --> 00:16:54,056
- I want the place spotless, and
- I want it filled with booze.
- 297
- 00:16:54,222 --> 00:16:56,145
- And I wanna make sure you're
- not around on Sunday night,
- 298
- 00:16:56,224 --> 00:16:58,192
- 'cause I plan on bringing some
- ass back from the reunion,
- 299
- 00:16:58,267 --> 00:17:00,861
- and I wanna tap that without you there.
- You got it?
- 300
- 00:17:01,020 --> 00:17:04,274
- You know, first of all,
- Steven, it's my house.
- 301
- 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,067
- You're lucky I'm
- letting you stay here.
- 302
- 00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:08,361
- Look, you wanted me to
- get a job, so I got one.
- 303
- 00:17:08,528 --> 00:17:10,201
- At least let me have the
- house for the weekend.
- 304
- 00:17:10,363 --> 00:17:12,616
- My house, my rules.
- 305
- 00:17:12,782 --> 00:17:15,080
- And as for tonight, if you
- don't wanna risk coming home
- 306
- 00:17:15,243 --> 00:17:16,870
- and seeing more of your
- mother than you'd like,
- 307
- 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,710
- I suggest you stay out late.
- 308
- 00:17:21,999 --> 00:17:23,000
- Gross.
- 309
- 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,306
- That was really...
- 310
- 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:30,682
- Hey, bar wench,
- can I get a Budweiser?
- 311
- 00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:35,471
- Beer down.
- 312
- 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,359
- What the fuck are you
- fuckers doing here?
- 313
- 00:17:47,108 --> 00:17:49,031
- - You made it!
- - Made what?
- 314
- 00:17:49,110 --> 00:17:50,157
- What are you talking about?
- 315
- 00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:53,243
- What do you mean?
- We sent you an e-mail
- 316
- 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,125
- about getting together a couple
- of days before the reunion.
- 317
- 00:17:56,284 --> 00:18:00,209
- You know what? I must have put
- two F's in "Stifmeister."
- 318
- 00:18:00,371 --> 00:18:01,793
- - What?
- - I'm sorry.
- 319
- 00:18:05,835 --> 00:18:08,008
- Two F's? You dumbass!
- 320
- 00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:09,384
- Kev!
- 321
- 00:18:09,463 --> 00:18:11,340
- Hey, Kevin, is that
- a pussy on your face?
- 322
- 00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:12,801
- Oh, come on!
- 323
- 00:18:12,967 --> 00:18:14,685
- Yeah, yeah, yeah!
- 324
- 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:15,886
- Nice.
- 325
- 00:18:15,970 --> 00:18:17,643
- So, Stifler,
- you're looking sharp.
- 326
- 00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,144
- What are you up to these days?
- 327
- 00:18:19,849 --> 00:18:21,601
- I work at JBH Global.
- 328
- 00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:23,686
- Wow! That's a big-time firm.
- 329
- 00:18:23,936 --> 00:18:24,937
- What do you do over there?
- 330
- 00:18:25,187 --> 00:18:27,189
- Oh, you know,
- 331
- 00:18:27,773 --> 00:18:29,366
- investment stuff.
- 332
- 00:18:29,734 --> 00:18:32,203
- People wonder why our financial
- system's falling apart.
- 333
- 00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,327
- Nice scarf. I see you finally
- came out of the closet.
- 334
- 00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,036
- How is your mother, Stifler?
- 335
- 00:18:37,199 --> 00:18:38,917
- You stay away from
- my mom, shitbreak.
- 336
- 00:18:39,076 --> 00:18:41,579
- Okay, boys,
- the past is the past.
- 337
- 00:18:41,662 --> 00:18:43,289
- We can bury
- the hatchet here, huh?
- 338
- 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,045
- Yeah, fuck it.
- 339
- 00:18:45,207 --> 00:18:47,960
- Hey, short-shorts!
- A round of Jagerbombs for me and my boys!
- 340
- 00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,470
- Go fuck yourself, Stifler.
- 341
- 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,011
- How the hell does
- she know my name?
- 342
- 00:18:54,157 --> 00:18:55,055
- Lard Arms?
- 343
- 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,306
- Jesus, Stifler.
- 344
- 00:18:56,510 --> 00:18:59,354
- Talk about an ugly duckling
- turning into a swan, right?
- 345
- 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:02,350
- Let me see that.
- 346
- 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:08,774
- Oh! Fingered her,
- hairy nips, huge boobs.
- 347
- 00:19:12,026 --> 00:19:13,619
- There she is!
- 348
- 00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738
- The creme de my cock.
- 349
- 00:19:16,447 --> 00:19:17,573
- Blowjob Lipstein.
- 350
- 00:19:17,782 --> 00:19:21,082
- Her given name
- was Loni, Stifler.
- 351
- 00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,962
- She used to call me Big Stiffy.
- 352
- 00:19:25,665 --> 00:19:27,963
- She was the mouth
- that got away.
- 353
- 00:19:28,125 --> 00:19:29,172
- Last call!
- 354
- 00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:32,464
- Already? Wait here, guys.
- 355
- 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,933
- Oh! Man, the Senior Wish List.
- 356
- 00:19:36,592 --> 00:19:38,060
- Wish List?
- I don't remember that.
- 357
- 00:19:38,135 --> 00:19:40,854
- Oh, yeah, man.
- It's that cheesy page in the yearbook
- 358
- 00:19:40,930 --> 00:19:43,058
- where we all had to write
- wishes about our future.
- 359
- 00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:46,019
- What, did you write something cheesy?
- Let's see.
- 360
- 00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:50,941
- "Chris Ostreicher.
- Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team."
- 361
- 00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,242
- Oh! Isn't that the
- sweetest thing?
- 362
- 00:19:53,317 --> 00:19:54,534
- Well,
- 363
- 00:19:55,569 --> 00:19:57,742
- I guess I thought
- I'd have a family by now.
- 364
- 00:19:57,822 --> 00:19:59,119
- All right, you wanna hear
- what you wrote, Finch?
- 365
- 00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,290
- I do.
- 366
- 00:20:00,449 --> 00:20:04,249
- "Paul Finch hopes to
- find le grand amour."
- 367
- 00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:06,539
- Yes, true love.
- 368
- 00:20:07,331 --> 00:20:11,256
- Alas, I have yet to find what you
- would call a real relationship.
- 369
- 00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:14,047
- Right, because banging
- Stifler's mom didn't count.
- 370
- 00:20:15,589 --> 00:20:17,262
- All right, let's see
- what you got, Kev.
- 371
- 00:20:17,425 --> 00:20:20,850
- "Kevin Myers. Hopes to
- still be living it up"
- 372
- 00:20:21,011 --> 00:20:24,106
- "with the amazing
- Vicky Lathum."
- 373
- 00:20:24,265 --> 00:20:25,562
- Oh, man! Vicky! What?
- 374
- 00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,023
- I am sure your wife would
- be very happy to read that.
- 375
- 00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:30,938
- What? I was dating
- Vicky at the time.
- 376
- 00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,447
- Let me see what I put.
- 377
- 00:20:34,275 --> 00:20:35,902
- "Jim Levenstein"
- 378
- 00:20:41,991 --> 00:20:45,086
- "hopes to have the
- sex life of Ricky Martin."
- 379
- 00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,917
- So, I'm assuming you didn't
- know he was gay back then.
- 380
- 00:20:51,125 --> 00:20:52,672
- Jim, it's a good thing
- you found a woman
- 381
- 00:20:52,752 --> 00:20:54,595
- with the sex drive
- of a dozen groupies. Hmm?
- 382
- 00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:57,006
- I mean, you're probably having
- more sex than any of us.
- 383
- 00:20:58,507 --> 00:21:00,350
- Probably, you know.
- 384
- 00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:03,513
- Hope you guys are thirsty.
- Stifler Claus is here.
- 385
- 00:21:03,679 --> 00:21:06,273
- Whoa! Stifler, that's a little
- too much, don't you think?
- 386
- 00:21:06,432 --> 00:21:08,526
- Dude, find your balls
- and return them to your sack.
- 387
- 00:21:09,143 --> 00:21:10,690
- I say we keep this party going.
- 388
- 00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,693
- I say we make this
- weekend our bitch.
- 389
- 00:21:13,105 --> 00:21:16,325
- We could party together, do all the
- same shit that we used to do together.
- 390
- 00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:17,827
- It'll be just like old times.
- 391
- 00:21:17,985 --> 00:21:20,659
- Hell yes! That's why I'm here.
- 392
- 00:21:20,821 --> 00:21:23,324
- No Bachelorette,
- no Real Housewives.
- 393
- 00:21:23,491 --> 00:21:27,041
- Thing is, you only get one
- chance at your 13th reunion.
- 394
- 00:21:29,830 --> 00:21:32,583
- I was kind of hoping to spend
- a little time with the wife.
- 395
- 00:21:32,708 --> 00:21:33,709
- - Fuck!
- - Dude!
- 396
- 00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:36,171
- - James?
- - What? Come on!
- 397
- 00:21:36,670 --> 00:21:39,014
- I mean, I'm in. Of course I'm in.
- Come on, what?
- 398
- 00:21:39,173 --> 00:21:40,174
- Yeah! Yeah.
- 399
- 00:21:40,382 --> 00:21:43,932
- Then, gentlemen, I hope you're
- all wearing protection,
- 400
- 00:21:44,094 --> 00:21:46,142
- because this weekend,
- we're gonna fuck shit up!
- 401
- 00:21:46,931 --> 00:21:47,978
- Cheers!
- Yeah! All right!
- 402
- 00:22:08,828 --> 00:22:10,626
- What the fuck?
- 403
- 00:22:12,206 --> 00:22:14,174
- Holy shit.
- 404
- 00:22:18,379 --> 00:22:19,676
- Hey!
- 405
- 00:22:19,839 --> 00:22:21,261
- Hi.
- 406
- 00:22:22,591 --> 00:22:23,683
- What happened?
- 407
- 00:22:24,885 --> 00:22:28,435
- I don't really remember.
- 408
- 00:22:28,597 --> 00:22:32,522
- I blame you. How much did you
- let him drink last night?
- 409
- 00:22:32,685 --> 00:22:35,404
- Honestly,
- not that much.
- 410
- 00:22:35,563 --> 00:22:38,783
- Well, we gotta clean this up
- before we go to the lake.
- 411
- 00:22:38,941 --> 00:22:42,036
- What? The lake?
- 412
- 00:22:42,736 --> 00:22:45,285
- Yeah, the lake, dude.
- It was your idea.
- 413
- 00:22:45,406 --> 00:22:48,000
- We discussed
- all this last night.
- 414
- 00:22:48,158 --> 00:22:50,377
- Oh, the lake!
- Yes, of course, the...
- 415
- 00:22:50,536 --> 00:22:52,755
- Hey, Jim, can you hand me
- those paper towels, please?
- 416
- 00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,469
- - Oh, those paper towels?
- - The paper ones.
- 417
- 00:22:59,461 --> 00:23:00,553
- Uh...
- 418
- 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:03,390
- The paper towels, Jim.
- 419
- 00:23:04,049 --> 00:23:05,471
- - Jim!
- - Yeah...
- 420
- 00:23:05,551 --> 00:23:07,019
- The paper towels!
- 421
- 00:23:13,100 --> 00:23:15,478
- I'm really sorry.
- 422
- 00:23:15,644 --> 00:23:20,525
- Jim, you do realize that
- the lid is see-through, right?
- 423
- 00:23:23,485 --> 00:23:25,158
- Oh, wow.
- 424
- 00:23:28,032 --> 00:23:29,579
- Good eye.
- 425
- 00:23:30,993 --> 00:23:33,166
- That's the father of my child.
- 426
- 00:23:47,676 --> 00:23:49,144
- Oh, come on!
- 427
- 00:23:49,219 --> 00:23:51,722
- Hey, watch it! Okay, jeez.
- 428
- 00:23:52,890 --> 00:23:55,439
- Am I wrong, or was this place a lot
- more fun when we were younger?
- 429
- 00:23:55,601 --> 00:23:58,775
- No, no. I think it's the same.
- We're just old now.
- 430
- 00:23:59,980 --> 00:24:03,154
- But were we just as obnoxious
- as these kids back in the day?
- 431
- 00:24:03,317 --> 00:24:04,489
- No.
- 432
- 00:24:05,110 --> 00:24:07,329
- Us, our generation,
- we were more mature.
- 433
- 00:24:07,488 --> 00:24:09,161
- Hey, guys, check it out.
- 434
- 00:24:10,282 --> 00:24:11,659
- Vagina shark!
- 435
- 00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:16,584
- He touched my snatch!
- 436
- 00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:18,833
- I take that back.
- 437
- 00:24:27,132 --> 00:24:29,260
- Oh, my God.
- 438
- 00:24:29,510 --> 00:24:31,183
- Fellas, do you gotta stare?
- 439
- 00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,346
- - Yeah.
- - Yeah.
- 440
- 00:24:32,513 --> 00:24:34,106
- Yes, we do need to stare.
- 441
- 00:24:36,549 --> 00:24:39,149
- Could Jim
- be any more obvious?
- 442
- 00:24:40,062 --> 00:24:41,735
- Oh, give him a break.
- 443
- 00:24:42,147 --> 00:24:45,492
- I mean, it's not every day you get to see
- a model walking around off the page.
- 444
- 00:24:46,235 --> 00:24:49,990
- There hasn't been
- a whole lot of sexy time
- 445
- 00:24:50,072 --> 00:24:52,120
- in the Levenstein
- household lately.
- 446
- 00:24:52,199 --> 00:24:53,200
- Why not?
- 447
- 00:24:54,118 --> 00:24:56,997
- I don't know. I'm a mom now.
- 448
- 00:24:57,579 --> 00:24:59,377
- Oh, please!
- 449
- 00:24:59,540 --> 00:25:01,463
- Just because you're
- a mom doesn't mean
- 450
- 00:25:01,542 --> 00:25:04,091
- there isn't a whole other side to you.
- 451
- 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,969
- Hey, remember that
- one time at band camp,
- 452
- 00:25:08,173 --> 00:25:10,517
- when we licked whipped cream
- off each other's...
- 453
- 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:13,812
- Yes! Yes! I remember.
- 454
- 00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:16,056
- Let's keep that
- in the past, though, okay?
- 455
- 00:25:18,642 --> 00:25:19,689
- Oh, she's...
- 456
- 00:25:20,102 --> 00:25:22,446
- Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or
- else you're gonna get tan lines.
- 457
- 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:25,073
- Sideboob. There... Sorry.
- Sideboob. Ozzy, look!
- 458
- 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,610
- Okay! Come on!
- 459
- 00:25:28,318 --> 00:25:30,491
- You're a lucky man, Oz.
- 460
- 00:25:31,071 --> 00:25:33,915
- Oh, come on, guys.
- I think we're all pretty
- 461
- 00:25:35,159 --> 00:25:36,786
- lucky.
- 462
- 00:25:39,204 --> 00:25:42,299
- Wait, is that Heather?
- 463
- 00:25:45,794 --> 00:25:47,137
- Yeah, it is.
- 464
- 00:25:50,632 --> 00:25:51,633
- Heather.
- 465
- 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:52,760
- Chris!
- 466
- 00:25:53,719 --> 00:25:54,811
- Hey.
- 467
- 00:25:55,262 --> 00:25:56,479
- What are you doing here?
- 468
- 00:25:56,638 --> 00:26:00,393
- I guess we had
- the same idea, huh?
- 469
- 00:26:00,934 --> 00:26:03,107
- Chris, this is Ron,
- my boyfriend.
- 470
- 00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:05,565
- Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas.
- It's a pleasure to meet you.
- 471
- 00:26:05,731 --> 00:26:06,732
- How do you do?
- 472
- 00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,817
- Ron's a cardiologist
- at my hospital.
- 473
- 00:26:09,151 --> 00:26:11,324
- A cardiologist. Wow.
- 474
- 00:26:11,487 --> 00:26:15,037
- Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call
- me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or just Dron.
- 475
- 00:26:15,115 --> 00:26:16,082
- So you feel free.
- 476
- 00:26:16,158 --> 00:26:17,705
- Okay.
- 477
- 00:26:17,785 --> 00:26:18,957
- Hey, fuckface!
- 478
- 00:26:19,495 --> 00:26:21,168
- Choir chick! Whoa!
- 479
- 00:26:21,997 --> 00:26:23,590
- Nice to see you, too, Stifler.
- 480
- 00:26:23,791 --> 00:26:24,792
- Who's this douche?
- 481
- 00:26:26,001 --> 00:26:27,173
- I'm her boyfriend.
- 482
- 00:26:28,504 --> 00:26:30,632
- So, you two are banging,
- 483
- 00:26:31,006 --> 00:26:33,259
- and you two used to bang.
- 484
- 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,266
- This must be awkward
- for all of you.
- 485
- 00:26:37,545 --> 00:26:38,097
- It is now.
- 486
- 00:26:39,807 --> 00:26:41,650
- That little shit took my top!
- 487
- 00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,152
- Give it back!
- 488
- 00:26:43,519 --> 00:26:47,149
- Um, that's my girlfriend.
- 489
- 00:26:48,982 --> 00:26:50,609
- What's this? What's this?
- 490
- 00:26:51,819 --> 00:26:54,789
- Hey, kid!
- What do you think you're doing?
- 491
- 00:26:54,947 --> 00:26:57,541
- - Come on, come on, let's go!
- - Hey!
- 492
- 00:26:57,699 --> 00:26:59,827
- Come on, guys. Not cool!
- 493
- 00:27:00,452 --> 00:27:02,955
- What're you assholes gonna do about it?
- 494
- 00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:14,133
- Well, that was interesting.
- 495
- 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:15,676
- Well, should we do something?
- 496
- 00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:17,143
- What are we gonna do? Come on.
- 497
- 00:27:17,219 --> 00:27:20,393
- Agreed. There's no need
- to stoop to their level.
- 498
- 00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:21,978
- Fuck that!
- 499
- 00:27:22,141 --> 00:27:24,064
- I know exactly
- where they're going.
- 500
- 00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,363
- Stifler?
- 501
- 00:27:46,915 --> 00:27:48,417
- Where the hell is he?
- 502
- 00:27:48,584 --> 00:27:49,927
- Guys, this is stupid.
- 503
- 00:27:50,085 --> 00:27:52,213
- I really can't keep Michelle waiting.
- Can we just head back?
- 504
- 00:27:52,379 --> 00:27:54,256
- Hold on.
- Let Stifler do his thing.
- 505
- 00:27:54,423 --> 00:27:56,517
- Yeah, that's what
- I'm afraid of.
- 506
- 00:28:04,099 --> 00:28:05,726
- Did you guys see
- the look on their faces?
- 507
- 00:28:05,893 --> 00:28:06,940
- Fucking awesome.
- 508
- 00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:08,570
- He is crazy.
- 509
- 00:28:10,105 --> 00:28:12,858
- I think one of those guys
- was Kara's babysitter.
- 510
- 00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,033
- Which one?
- 511
- 00:28:14,109 --> 00:28:16,407
- You know, the one that
- looked like Adam Sandler.
- 512
- 00:28:23,911 --> 00:28:26,130
- Stifler better not
- do anything crazy.
- 513
- 00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:27,915
- All he's gonna do
- is tell them off.
- 514
- 00:28:28,081 --> 00:28:29,879
- I thought he was gonna
- cut their jet skis free.
- 515
- 00:28:30,042 --> 00:28:31,589
- What happened to pissing
- in their suntan lotion?
- 516
- 00:28:31,752 --> 00:28:34,221
- Hold on. He told me he was
- going to steal their beer.
- 517
- 00:28:36,122 --> 00:28:36,469
- Stifler.
- 518
- 00:28:47,768 --> 00:28:50,362
- Oh, wait. There he is.
- 519
- 00:28:50,437 --> 00:28:51,563
- All right.
- 520
- 00:28:51,647 --> 00:28:53,945
- Yep, he's
- taking their beer.
- 521
- 00:28:54,274 --> 00:28:56,276
- All right, hurry up,
- Stifler. Come on.
- 522
- 00:28:57,277 --> 00:28:59,496
- What is he doing?
- 523
- 00:28:59,613 --> 00:29:01,081
- - Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- - Wait.
- 524
- 00:29:01,156 --> 00:29:02,783
- - Oh, God!
- - Oh, my God.
- 525
- 00:29:02,908 --> 00:29:04,080
- - No!
- -Steven!
- 526
- 00:29:04,159 --> 00:29:05,160
- Oh, God.
- 527
- 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:07,333
- Yo, so you really think Kara's
- gonna give it up tonight?
- 528
- 00:29:07,496 --> 00:29:09,419
- She was waiting until she turns 18.
- You do the math.
- 529
- 00:29:10,540 --> 00:29:15,262
- The only math I know is you've added
- your penis to her vagina zero times.
- 530
- 00:29:20,926 --> 00:29:22,519
- Jennifer's not a skank.
- 531
- 00:29:22,594 --> 00:29:23,595
- Dude, yes, she is.
- 532
- 00:29:23,679 --> 00:29:24,771
- I'm gonna throw up.
- 533
- 00:29:24,930 --> 00:29:27,274
- Oh, my God. That's disgusting.
- 534
- 00:29:27,349 --> 00:29:28,475
- What're you doing?
- 535
- 00:29:30,644 --> 00:29:32,362
- Hurry up. Come on!
- 536
- 00:29:33,355 --> 00:29:34,607
- Down it, man!
- Just chug it! Chug it!
- 537
- 00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,692
- Do it. Do it! Don't puss out.
- 538
- 00:29:36,858 --> 00:29:38,360
- Don't puss out!
- 539
- 00:29:38,443 --> 00:29:39,444
- Let's just go. Let's go.
- 540
- 00:29:39,528 --> 00:29:40,529
- Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go.
- 541
- 00:29:42,364 --> 00:29:43,707
- You want another?
- 542
- 00:29:43,865 --> 00:29:44,866
- For sure.
- 543
- 00:29:46,326 --> 00:29:49,626
- Guys, I'm telling you, tonight is gonna
- be the night she promised me a year ago.
- 544
- 00:29:56,503 --> 00:29:57,800
- What the...
- 545
- 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:00,223
- Hey! Dipshit!
- 546
- 00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,733
- No!
- 547
- 00:30:11,643 --> 00:30:13,236
- No, no!
- 548
- 00:30:17,649 --> 00:30:19,572
- Stifler! Are you crazy?
- 549
- 00:30:19,860 --> 00:30:23,160
- Jesus, Stifler, what happened
- to just stealing their beer?
- 550
- 00:30:23,322 --> 00:30:25,245
- I know, this is so
- much better, right?
- 551
- 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:26,205
- What?
- 552
- 00:30:27,409 --> 00:30:29,252
- You destroyed
- their jet skis.
- 553
- 00:30:29,411 --> 00:30:31,413
- They splashed us.
- 554
- 00:30:32,414 --> 00:30:33,415
- So...
- 555
- 00:30:39,212 --> 00:30:40,680
- Come on, guys.
- That was pretty funny.
- 556
- 00:30:40,839 --> 00:30:43,683
- Maybe in high school it was funny.
- Now it's just a felony.
- 557
- 00:30:43,842 --> 00:30:45,014
- Only if we get caught.
- 558
- 00:30:45,093 --> 00:30:47,846
- Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice
- giving those kids a little payback.
- 559
- 00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:50,015
- Maybe it was good that they will
- learn to respect their elders.
- 560
- 00:30:50,182 --> 00:30:51,399
- Exactly!
- 561
- 00:30:51,558 --> 00:30:54,232
- Hey, give me a second, I gotta
- find some toilet paper.
- 562
- 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:55,611
- That's gross.
- 563
- 00:30:56,521 --> 00:30:57,989
- What's up,
- Class of '99-ers?
- 564
- 00:30:58,148 --> 00:31:00,116
- Oh, my God! Vicky!
- 565
- 00:31:00,192 --> 00:31:01,193
- Hi!
- 566
- 00:31:01,276 --> 00:31:02,277
- Hey!
- 567
- 00:31:02,444 --> 00:31:03,616
- I can't believe you're here.
- 568
- 00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,288
- Yeah, I flew in from
- New York last night.
- 569
- 00:31:05,447 --> 00:31:06,915
- I've been hanging
- out with my parents.
- 570
- 00:31:07,074 --> 00:31:09,122
- They were actually just
- talking about you earlier.
- 571
- 00:31:09,284 --> 00:31:10,831
- Really? About what?
- 572
- 00:31:10,994 --> 00:31:13,463
- That time they caught us
- making out at the Falls.
- 573
- 00:31:13,622 --> 00:31:15,044
- Oh, right.
- 574
- 00:31:15,123 --> 00:31:18,093
- The Falls. Wow, I haven't
- been there in forever.
- 575
- 00:31:18,251 --> 00:31:20,299
- Michelle used to love
- going to the Falls.
- 576
- 00:31:20,462 --> 00:31:21,805
- The place is romance incarnate.
- 577
- 00:31:22,214 --> 00:31:25,138
- Hell, yeah.
- I got my first rim job at the Falls.
- 578
- 00:31:25,300 --> 00:31:26,426
- Okay.
- 579
- 00:31:28,303 --> 00:31:29,304
- Hey, sweetie.
- 580
- 00:31:29,388 --> 00:31:30,389
- Mmm, sweetie pie!
- 581
- 00:31:30,639 --> 00:31:31,686
- Hello.
- 582
- 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:36,566
- So, the guys were all talking
- about heading over to the Falls.
- 583
- 00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,781
- Well, what about
- Jim and Michelle time?
- 584
- 00:31:39,856 --> 00:31:42,154
- I was thinking it could
- be kind of romantic.
- 585
- 00:31:42,317 --> 00:31:45,867
- Well, I'd love to, but your
- dad has been with Ev all day.
- 586
- 00:31:45,946 --> 00:31:47,698
- Yeah, no, you're right.
- 587
- 00:31:47,864 --> 00:31:49,866
- Okay. Yeah, we'll
- just, we'll go home.
- 588
- 00:31:50,033 --> 00:31:53,082
- Oh, no, no.
- You go and have fun.
- 589
- 00:31:53,161 --> 00:31:54,253
- - Really?
- - Yeah.
- 590
- 00:31:54,329 --> 00:31:57,924
- Just, when you get home,
- you just better be ready.
- 591
- 00:31:58,083 --> 00:31:59,630
- You better be ready.
- 592
- 00:31:59,793 --> 00:32:01,340
- I'm ready.
- 593
- 00:32:07,092 --> 00:32:10,642
- Um, Stifler, do you know
- where you're going?
- 594
- 00:32:10,804 --> 00:32:13,273
- I know this place
- like the back of my cock.
- 595
- 00:32:24,025 --> 00:32:26,244
- It looks like
- a high school party.
- 596
- 00:32:28,155 --> 00:32:29,532
- With high school chicks.
- 597
- 00:32:31,533 --> 00:32:32,830
- It's on.
- 598
- 00:32:32,993 --> 00:32:35,542
- Watch it, Stifler. You know these
- girls are, like, half your age.
- 599
- 00:32:35,704 --> 00:32:36,796
- I know.
- 600
- 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:46,549
- Okay, is it just me, or do girls
- today seem a bit sluttier?
- 601
- 00:32:46,715 --> 00:32:47,762
- Definitely.
- 602
- 00:32:47,841 --> 00:32:50,890
- Teen sex, rainbow parties,
- sexting nude photos...
- 603
- 00:32:51,052 --> 00:32:53,430
- I saw it all on
- Kathie Lee & Hoda.
- 604
- 00:32:53,597 --> 00:32:55,645
- Happy birthday!
- 605
- 00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:03,656
- Jim?
- 606
- 00:33:04,065 --> 00:33:05,783
- - Kara.
- - You came!
- 607
- 00:33:05,984 --> 00:33:07,361
- Hey!
- 608
- 00:33:08,445 --> 00:33:09,492
- Sorry.
- 609
- 00:33:10,822 --> 00:33:11,914
- Happy birthday.
- 610
- 00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,460
- Oh, my God,
- is this the babysitter?
- 611
- 00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,502
- Mmm-hmm.
- 612
- 00:33:16,578 --> 00:33:19,081
- You make it sound like I'm a superhero.
- 613
- 00:33:19,247 --> 00:33:21,966
- Faster than a speeding stroller,
- more powerful than a mini-van.
- 614
- 00:33:23,460 --> 00:33:24,552
- I told you he was funny.
- 615
- 00:33:24,711 --> 00:33:25,837
- He's adorable.
- 616
- 00:33:28,173 --> 00:33:30,096
- Hey, Jim. Do you wanna
- introduce me to your friends?
- 617
- 00:33:30,258 --> 00:33:31,259
- No.
- 618
- 00:33:33,595 --> 00:33:35,017
- Girls, this is Stifler.
- 619
- 00:33:36,097 --> 00:33:37,940
- So, how do you know
- my best friend Jim?
- 620
- 00:33:38,099 --> 00:33:39,817
- Jim used to be my babysitter.
- 621
- 00:33:41,645 --> 00:33:43,693
- Hey, I was just
- gonna do a birthday shot.
- 622
- 00:33:43,772 --> 00:33:45,115
- Do you guys
- wanna do one with me?
- 623
- 00:33:45,190 --> 00:33:46,316
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
- 624
- 00:33:46,399 --> 00:33:47,400
- Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
- 625
- 00:33:47,526 --> 00:33:49,369
- - I shouldn't.
- - Yes, we should, yes, we should.
- 626
- 00:33:49,819 --> 00:33:53,824
- Never have I ever
- had sex in public.
- 627
- 00:33:58,870 --> 00:34:00,998
- Really? None of you?
- 628
- 00:34:01,164 --> 00:34:03,792
- Oh, come on, Heather.
- You haven't drank once.
- 629
- 00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:05,506
- You are such a prude!
- 630
- 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:09,424
- Or maybe I've just
- never had sex in public.
- 631
- 00:34:10,257 --> 00:34:15,764
- Okay, never have I
- ever been in an orgy.
- 632
- 00:34:21,351 --> 00:34:23,274
- They were really nice guys.
- 633
- 00:34:24,604 --> 00:34:27,153
- Believe it or not, this is
- my first high school party.
- 634
- 00:34:27,315 --> 00:34:28,783
- You didn't miss much.
- 635
- 00:34:28,942 --> 00:34:33,493
- I always preferred staying at
- home, throwing on a little NPR.
- 636
- 00:34:33,655 --> 00:34:35,498
- You were so much
- cooler than me.
- 637
- 00:34:35,824 --> 00:34:39,579
- I sat around writing
- X-Files fan fiction.
- 638
- 00:34:42,122 --> 00:34:47,344
- I translated The Brothers
- Karamazov into Latin for fun.
- 639
- 00:34:48,420 --> 00:34:51,173
- That is so sexy.
- 640
- 00:34:52,257 --> 00:34:53,679
- You know it is.
- 641
- 00:34:53,925 --> 00:34:55,518
- I've only been
- working as an architect
- 642
- 00:34:55,594 --> 00:34:58,017
- for the last few years,
- and from home.
- 643
- 00:34:58,179 --> 00:35:00,056
- You've been with the same
- company for over ten years.
- 644
- 00:35:00,223 --> 00:35:02,476
- That's awesome, it sounds like
- everything is working out for you.
- 645
- 00:35:03,518 --> 00:35:05,941
- Yeah. I mean, everything's
- good, especially work-wise.
- 646
- 00:35:06,021 --> 00:35:07,523
- But now that we're
- back here in the town,
- 647
- 00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,149
- and we see, like,
- all of our old friends,
- 648
- 00:35:09,316 --> 00:35:11,865
- and everyone's married
- and having kids,
- 649
- 00:35:12,027 --> 00:35:14,951
- it just makes me,
- you know, think.
- 650
- 00:35:17,365 --> 00:35:18,537
- You okay there, Kev?
- 651
- 00:35:18,908 --> 00:35:22,208
- Yeah, I just don't
- normally drink like this.
- 652
- 00:35:22,370 --> 00:35:24,418
- You're telling me you haven't
- gotten a little bit tipsy
- 653
- 00:35:24,497 --> 00:35:25,919
- on Myers Family Wine Night?
- 654
- 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:29,131
- I see somebody's been
- stalking my Facebook page.
- 655
- 00:35:29,294 --> 00:35:31,672
- At least I don't take
- pictures of my meals.
- 656
- 00:35:31,838 --> 00:35:33,306
- Who's stalking who now?
- 657
- 00:35:33,465 --> 00:35:36,810
- Okay, so I've been by your
- page maybe once or twice.
- 658
- 00:35:36,968 --> 00:35:40,222
- You were dating someone
- named Alessandro?
- 659
- 00:35:40,805 --> 00:35:44,059
- You know, he does know that he can take
- a picture with his shirt on, right?
- 660
- 00:35:44,225 --> 00:35:47,320
- Alessandro is long gone.
- 661
- 00:35:49,397 --> 00:35:50,990
- It's over, huh?
- 662
- 00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,238
- Okay, after this drink,
- I have to go home.
- 663
- 00:35:57,405 --> 00:35:58,372
- Jim.
- 664
- 00:35:58,448 --> 00:36:02,294
- There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl
- over there that you used to babysit.
- 665
- 00:36:02,452 --> 00:36:04,420
- And you're not going to
- do anything about that?
- 666
- 00:36:04,579 --> 00:36:06,673
- Need I remind you that
- I am married to Michelle?
- 667
- 00:36:06,748 --> 00:36:07,749
- Exactly.
- 668
- 00:36:08,249 --> 00:36:13,631
- Dude, these young chicks, they know
- some crazy shit in the bedroom.
- 669
- 00:36:14,464 --> 00:36:17,013
- You could take what
- you learn from Kara,
- 670
- 00:36:17,175 --> 00:36:19,769
- bring it home,
- and apply it to Michelle.
- 671
- 00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:23,098
- You do care about your
- marriage, don't you, Jim?
- 672
- 00:36:23,264 --> 00:36:24,766
- What are you talking
- about, Stifler?
- 673
- 00:36:24,849 --> 00:36:27,022
- I'm not gonna cheat on my wife!
- 674
- 00:36:27,185 --> 00:36:29,187
- I'm a father
- for Christ's sakes.
- 675
- 00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:31,356
- Yeah, that's perfect.
- 676
- 00:36:31,523 --> 00:36:34,151
- Yeah, chicks love a father figure.
- Keep playing that card, dude.
- 677
- 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:36,490
- It's not a card,
- it's the truth.
- 678
- 00:36:36,653 --> 00:36:38,030
- - Hey.
- - Hi.
- 679
- 00:36:38,113 --> 00:36:39,456
- What are you guys
- talking about?
- 680
- 00:36:39,531 --> 00:36:41,784
- Oh, you know... Just...
- 681
- 00:36:41,950 --> 00:36:45,375
- Jim was just saying how much
- fun he had taking care of you.
- 682
- 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:48,165
- Hey, ladies, why don't we give
- them some time to catch up?
- 683
- 00:36:48,248 --> 00:36:49,420
- - Mmm-hmm.
- - Yeah, after you.
- 684
- 00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,797
- No, that's not necessary.
- We should all hang out together.
- 685
- 00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:53,553
- Why don't we all...
- Stifler, just...
- 686
- 00:36:53,628 --> 00:36:55,050
- Be her daddy.
- 687
- 00:36:56,339 --> 00:36:58,137
- Stifler? Stifler!
- 688
- 00:37:00,135 --> 00:37:05,141
- So, sounds like you and Mia have
- quite an adventurous lifestyle.
- 689
- 00:37:05,473 --> 00:37:07,726
- Sometimes a little
- too adventurous.
- 690
- 00:37:07,892 --> 00:37:12,398
- Wow. Well, Heather's a bit
- more on the conservative side.
- 691
- 00:37:12,480 --> 00:37:13,481
- But, uh...
- 692
- 00:37:13,565 --> 00:37:14,987
- - Hey!
- - Hi.
- 693
- 00:37:16,192 --> 00:37:20,663
- But, I gotta be honest, Chris, I
- could use a little adventure myself.
- 694
- 00:37:21,156 --> 00:37:22,703
- What are you getting at, Ron?
- 695
- 00:37:22,866 --> 00:37:27,588
- I'm just saying that usually
- I'm not one for swapping,
- 696
- 00:37:27,746 --> 00:37:33,003
- but the fact that you've been with
- Heather already, kind of makes it okay.
- 697
- 00:37:33,835 --> 00:37:36,588
- So, what do you think?
- 698
- 00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:38,923
- Think they'd be into it?
- 699
- 00:37:41,176 --> 00:37:42,723
- I'm kidding.
- Come on, I'm kidding!
- 700
- 00:37:44,345 --> 00:37:46,188
- Seriously,
- I would never do that!
- 701
- 00:37:47,515 --> 00:37:48,937
- Unless you guys wanted to.
- 702
- 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:52,854
- So you've really been to every
- country in South America?
- 703
- 00:37:53,021 --> 00:37:54,944
- No, no, not all of them.
- 704
- 00:37:55,106 --> 00:37:58,201
- And I don't consider
- French Guiana a nation.
- 705
- 00:38:00,403 --> 00:38:03,202
- I remember, I couldn't
- wait till graduation
- 706
- 00:38:03,364 --> 00:38:06,288
- so I could leave this town
- and reinvent myself.
- 707
- 00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:09,170
- You have certainly
- reinvented yourself.
- 708
- 00:38:09,245 --> 00:38:10,337
- I don't know.
- 709
- 00:38:10,413 --> 00:38:12,632
- There's just a part of me
- that still wishes that
- 710
- 00:38:12,707 --> 00:38:15,130
- I could just explore
- the world, you know?
- 711
- 00:38:15,293 --> 00:38:17,136
- Be everything I set out to be.
- 712
- 00:38:17,587 --> 00:38:21,308
- You can be whoever you wanna be.
- You just gotta be it.
- 713
- 00:38:24,052 --> 00:38:25,304
- - You wanna make out?
- - Yeah.
- 714
- 00:38:29,390 --> 00:38:32,985
- Are you crazy?
- I love the Twilight books.
- 715
- 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,896
- New Moon is my favorite.
- 716
- 00:38:35,063 --> 00:38:36,064
- Mine, too!
- 717
- 00:38:36,147 --> 00:38:38,775
- Oh, my God!
- We have, like, so much in common!
- 718
- 00:38:38,942 --> 00:38:40,159
- - I know!
- - I know!
- 719
- 00:38:42,403 --> 00:38:43,575
- Wanna hit this?
- 720
- 00:38:43,738 --> 00:38:45,411
- In more ways than one.
- 721
- 00:38:54,290 --> 00:38:57,464
- I don't know who this is, but
- I'm pretty fucking busy right now.
- 722
- 00:38:57,627 --> 00:38:58,844
- So sorry to interrupt, Stafler.
- 723
- 00:38:59,003 --> 00:39:01,131
- Didn't realize the Special
- Olympics competed at night.
- 724
- 00:39:01,297 --> 00:39:02,298
- Oh, fuck.
- 725
- 00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:05,351
- What the hell's
- going on over there?
- 726
- 00:39:05,426 --> 00:39:06,848
- What, are you choking
- on your own dick?
- 727
- 00:39:07,804 --> 00:39:10,853
- Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy,
- nothing.
- 728
- 00:39:11,307 --> 00:39:12,684
- What can I do for you, sir?
- 729
- 00:39:12,851 --> 00:39:14,694
- Bob from Acquisitions
- had a heart attack.
- 730
- 00:39:14,769 --> 00:39:16,521
- Some idiot told him
- that he was fired.
- 731
- 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,905
- He flipped out, I don't know.
- 732
- 00:39:18,064 --> 00:39:20,408
- Listen, I need someone
- to finish his presentation.
- 733
- 00:39:20,567 --> 00:39:23,320
- I need you to go in on Sunday
- and get everything ready. Yes?
- 734
- 00:39:23,486 --> 00:39:25,784
- Oh, wait, Sunday.
- 735
- 00:39:25,947 --> 00:39:27,870
- I got my high school reunion.
- 736
- 00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,158
- Oh, wow, how fun!
- 737
- 00:39:29,242 --> 00:39:30,664
- Yeah, no, I'll just
- call the chairman,
- 738
- 00:39:30,743 --> 00:39:31,835
- and I'll get him to reschedule.
- 739
- 00:39:31,995 --> 00:39:34,248
- Seriously?
- Hey, that would be awesome!
- 740
- 00:39:34,414 --> 00:39:37,793
- That was a fucking joke, you moron.
- Jesus Christ, what am I doing?
- 741
- 00:39:38,459 --> 00:39:40,757
- You know what, I am gonna
- handle this myself.
- 742
- 00:39:40,837 --> 00:39:43,716
- No. No, no, no,
- listen, Mr. Duraiswamy,
- 743
- 00:39:43,882 --> 00:39:46,601
- I can do it, okay?
- I promise, I'll get it done.
- 744
- 00:39:46,801 --> 00:39:48,303
- Just don't fuck up, Stafler.
- 745
- 00:39:48,386 --> 00:39:50,935
- It's Stifler.
- 746
- 00:39:51,097 --> 00:39:53,065
- Dick! Hey, ladies...
- 747
- 00:39:53,474 --> 00:39:55,602
- - Ladies?
- - They bailed, dude.
- 748
- 00:39:55,768 --> 00:39:57,486
- Aw, fuck!
- 749
- 00:39:59,647 --> 00:40:00,648
- - Ugh!
- - Um...
- 750
- 00:40:02,567 --> 00:40:05,992
- Hey, Kara, how are you
- getting home tonight?
- 751
- 00:40:06,738 --> 00:40:08,832
- AJ was supposed to
- drive my car back,
- 752
- 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:10,333
- but he hasn't
- even shown up yet.
- 753
- 00:40:10,491 --> 00:40:12,835
- Some lame excuse
- about his jet skis.
- 754
- 00:40:12,994 --> 00:40:14,667
- Can you believe that jerk?
- 755
- 00:40:16,831 --> 00:40:18,333
- What about you?
- 756
- 00:40:18,499 --> 00:40:19,671
- Will you take me?
- 757
- 00:40:19,834 --> 00:40:22,053
- Uh... Um...
- 758
- 00:40:22,670 --> 00:40:25,674
- Come on! We're going
- to the same place.
- 759
- 00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,763
- Besides, it wouldn't
- be responsible
- 760
- 00:40:27,842 --> 00:40:30,186
- to let me drive
- in this condition.
- 761
- 00:40:30,553 --> 00:40:31,600
- Right?
- 762
- 00:40:38,895 --> 00:40:40,238
- Okay, Kara.
- 763
- 00:40:40,855 --> 00:40:44,234
- Hey! Whoa! Careful!
- Careful. Yeah.
- 764
- 00:40:44,359 --> 00:40:46,077
- Oh, my God, I love this song.
- 765
- 00:40:46,235 --> 00:40:47,282
- It's a good one.
- 766
- 00:40:47,362 --> 00:40:48,909
- Isn't classic rock the best?
- 767
- 00:40:49,072 --> 00:40:52,372
- Classic rock?
- This is classic rock now?
- 768
- 00:40:54,202 --> 00:40:56,421
- Hey, you know, Kara, you
- should drink some more water.
- 769
- 00:40:56,496 --> 00:40:58,043
- Where's that bottle I gave you?
- 770
- 00:40:58,206 --> 00:41:00,129
- Oh, it's right here. Okay.
- 771
- 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:02,385
- In the back.
- 772
- 00:41:07,715 --> 00:41:10,090
- Shit. Sorry. Sorry.
- There was a...
- 773
- 00:41:11,469 --> 00:41:15,474
- There was a little baby
- squirrel in the road, so...
- 774
- 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:20,111
- Whoa! Hey! Whoa!
- That's not water. Okay.
- 775
- 00:41:20,269 --> 00:41:23,614
- It's a little too much now.
- 776
- 00:41:23,773 --> 00:41:27,573
- I love how, after all these years,
- you're still taking care of me.
- 777
- 00:41:27,735 --> 00:41:30,705
- Well, you know, a
- babysitter's job never ends.
- 778
- 00:41:31,580 --> 00:41:34,000
- You knew I always
- had a crush on you, right?
- 779
- 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,253
- No.
- 780
- 00:41:38,287 --> 00:41:40,540
- I want you to be my first.
- 781
- 00:41:42,166 --> 00:41:44,260
- Your first?
- 782
- 00:41:44,419 --> 00:41:46,421
- Oh, God. Okay. Um...
- 783
- 00:41:46,587 --> 00:41:48,635
- Kara, listen. Um...
- 784
- 00:41:49,674 --> 00:41:54,145
- A person's virginity is
- something sacred, you know?
- 785
- 00:41:54,303 --> 00:41:55,805
- You should save yourself
- for someone special.
- 786
- 00:41:55,888 --> 00:41:56,935
- You're special.
- 787
- 00:41:57,015 --> 00:42:00,485
- No! Not special.
- 788
- 00:42:00,643 --> 00:42:02,771
- You think? I really...
- 789
- 00:42:03,146 --> 00:42:04,773
- What are you doing?
- 790
- 00:42:04,939 --> 00:42:06,031
- Hey, what are you doing?
- 791
- 00:42:06,190 --> 00:42:08,693
- Come on. No one
- will ever find out.
- 792
- 00:42:10,194 --> 00:42:12,117
- I don't know. I don't think...
- 793
- 00:42:12,142 --> 00:42:15,069
- No, I don't.
- I don't think that's um.
- 794
- 00:42:15,070 --> 00:42:17,458
- I don't think I should do that.
- 795
- 00:42:17,459 --> 00:42:20,722
- No I-I can't, I won't
- so, you know that's
- 796
- 00:42:20,723 --> 00:42:22,121
- Whoa. Hello. Okay.
- 797
- 00:42:22,122 --> 00:42:25,663
- Kara! Kara! That's kissing.
- Kara you need to stop
- 798
- 00:42:25,664 --> 00:42:26,548
- Stop!
- 799
- 00:42:28,280 --> 00:42:29,657
- You don't think I'm pretty?
- 800
- 00:42:29,740 --> 00:42:34,541
- Huh? Oh, no! You're very pretty, Kara.
- You're very, very...
- 801
- 00:42:34,619 --> 00:42:36,371
- - Really?
- - Yes, very pretty.
- 802
- 00:42:36,455 --> 00:42:37,877
- - But I... Very pretty.
- - Thanks.
- 803
- 00:42:38,040 --> 00:42:39,462
- Oh, my God!
- 804
- 00:42:39,624 --> 00:42:42,878
- Holy shit! What?
- 805
- 00:42:44,212 --> 00:42:45,213
- Oh, my... Where did your...
- 806
- 00:42:45,297 --> 00:42:46,298
- Come on.
- 807
- 00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:48,809
- I can't think of
- a better birthday gift.
- 808
- 00:42:48,967 --> 00:42:50,514
- What about the new iPhone?
- 809
- 00:42:50,594 --> 00:42:52,562
- Huh? Maybe a little pendant?
- The new Nicki Minaj album?
- 810
- 00:42:52,637 --> 00:42:54,731
- - No.
- - No? Boobies.
- 811
- 00:42:54,848 --> 00:42:56,145
- - I want you!
- - Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 812
- 00:42:56,224 --> 00:42:57,476
- You can't... Don't do that.
- 813
- 00:42:57,559 --> 00:42:59,061
- That's not good, don't...
- 814
- 00:42:59,144 --> 00:43:00,646
- Come on, stop...
- Would you...
- 815
- 00:43:00,812 --> 00:43:02,689
- Kara! Kara! Stop it.
- 816
- 00:43:03,315 --> 00:43:04,441
- Shit!
- 817
- 00:43:08,820 --> 00:43:09,992
- Shit. Kara?
- 818
- 00:43:10,655 --> 00:43:12,157
- Holy Jesus! Kara?
- 819
- 00:43:12,324 --> 00:43:14,702
- Kara! Kara!
- Please wake up, Kara!
- 820
- 00:43:14,868 --> 00:43:16,541
- Kara, wake up. Kara!
- 821
- 00:43:16,703 --> 00:43:17,704
- Are you okay?
- 822
- 00:43:17,829 --> 00:43:18,921
- Oh, Jesus, God!
- 823
- 00:43:18,997 --> 00:43:20,419
- Oh, my God, are you all right?
- 824
- 00:43:21,041 --> 00:43:22,668
- Hey, hi.
- 825
- 00:43:23,752 --> 00:43:25,846
- - Jim?
- - Hey!
- 826
- 00:43:26,004 --> 00:43:28,553
- What? This is crazy!
- 827
- 00:43:28,757 --> 00:43:30,134
- Are you all right?
- 828
- 00:43:30,217 --> 00:43:33,687
- Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah
- I'm okay. I was just... Um...
- 829
- 00:43:33,845 --> 00:43:36,623
- I was reaching for something.
- 830
- 00:43:36,689 --> 00:43:38,562
- - Everything's okay.
- - Everything's fine.
- 831
- 00:43:39,101 --> 00:43:40,444
- - I don't know if you've heard.
- - Mmm?
- 832
- 00:43:40,519 --> 00:43:41,520
- Did you hear?
- 833
- 00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:44,781
- I am in charge of the reunion.
- 834
- 00:43:44,940 --> 00:43:47,739
- Oh! Yeah, no, that's...
- Yeah, that's right.
- 835
- 00:43:47,901 --> 00:43:49,369
- Got a whole '90s theme planned.
- 836
- 00:43:49,528 --> 00:43:51,280
- Oh. That's...
- 837
- 00:43:51,446 --> 00:43:53,244
- I booked Chumbawamba.
- 838
- 00:43:53,323 --> 00:43:55,371
- Yeah. But the pricks
- cancelled yesterday.
- 839
- 00:43:55,575 --> 00:43:58,374
- Was a setback, but you know me,
- 840
- 00:43:58,578 --> 00:44:00,957
- "I get knocked down but I
- get up again."
- 841
- 00:44:04,918 --> 00:44:06,920
- Oh, my God!
- Okay, I see what's going on.
- 842
- 00:44:13,510 --> 00:44:14,682
- Yep.
- 843
- 00:44:14,761 --> 00:44:15,887
- I'll see you later, buddy.
- 844
- 00:44:16,054 --> 00:44:17,727
- All right then, I'll see you.
- 845
- 00:44:20,225 --> 00:44:22,728
- Jesus, God. Kara.
- Kara, wake up.
- 846
- 00:44:22,894 --> 00:44:24,896
- - I just need a nap.
- - What?
- 847
- 00:44:25,063 --> 00:44:27,157
- Kara, this isn't time
- for a nap. Kara, wake up.
- 848
- 00:44:27,315 --> 00:44:28,612
- This isn't napping time.
- 849
- 00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:31,411
- Kara? Shit.
- 850
- 00:44:36,491 --> 00:44:40,337
- Oh, God, this is bad.
- This is very, very bad.
- 851
- 00:44:51,798 --> 00:44:53,141
- What took you guys so long?
- 852
- 00:44:53,300 --> 00:44:55,348
- We were looking for Kevin.
- Couldn't find him.
- 853
- 00:44:55,510 --> 00:44:58,980
- Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging
- got wasted, so we had to drop her off.
- 854
- 00:44:59,139 --> 00:45:00,140
- You brought him?
- 855
- 00:45:00,223 --> 00:45:01,395
- Of course they brought me.
- 856
- 00:45:01,516 --> 00:45:03,063
- When you guys were busy
- jacking off in high school,
- 857
- 00:45:03,143 --> 00:45:05,111
- I was running this
- drill every weekend.
- 858
- 00:45:05,270 --> 00:45:07,193
- Now, let's see what
- we are dealing with.
- 859
- 00:45:09,774 --> 00:45:10,775
- Oh!
- 860
- 00:45:11,109 --> 00:45:13,111
- Holy shit!
- 861
- 00:45:13,278 --> 00:45:14,245
- Way to go, Jim.
- 862
- 00:45:14,321 --> 00:45:17,495
- Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler. Okay?
- Nothing happened.
- 863
- 00:45:17,657 --> 00:45:18,658
- Stop that!
- 864
- 00:45:18,867 --> 00:45:19,914
- I'm sorry.
- 865
- 00:45:19,993 --> 00:45:21,415
- So, Jim, what do you wanna do?
- 866
- 00:45:21,494 --> 00:45:22,746
- I don't know.
- 867
- 00:45:22,829 --> 00:45:24,627
- I can't just leave her
- here naked, you know?
- 868
- 00:45:24,789 --> 00:45:27,463
- I mean, if the cops come by
- and find out I'm involved,
- 869
- 00:45:28,293 --> 00:45:29,465
- I'm screwed.
- 870
- 00:45:29,628 --> 00:45:31,505
- That leaves us
- with two options.
- 871
- 00:45:32,464 --> 00:45:34,137
- We dump the body or
- we sneak her inside.
- 872
- 00:45:34,299 --> 00:45:36,301
- Dump the body?
- This isn't a mob hit.
- 873
- 00:45:36,468 --> 00:45:37,685
- Okay, wait a second.
- 874
- 00:45:37,844 --> 00:45:41,189
- I have been in her house
- a million times to babysit.
- 875
- 00:45:41,348 --> 00:45:44,397
- I can totally sneak her in
- through the back door.
- 876
- 00:45:44,559 --> 00:45:47,153
- I need you guys to
- distract her parents.
- 877
- 00:45:47,312 --> 00:45:49,030
- Do you think you can do that?
- 878
- 00:45:49,397 --> 00:45:53,493
- I'm an expert, Jim.
- Trust me. I got this shit.
- 879
- 00:46:00,992 --> 00:46:02,539
- Good evening, sir.
- 880
- 00:46:02,702 --> 00:46:04,545
- My friend's car broke down,
- 881
- 00:46:04,704 --> 00:46:08,174
- and we were just wondering if we
- could use your phone to call AAA.
- 882
- 00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:12,379
- You mean to tell me that none
- of you have cell phones?
- 883
- 00:46:20,220 --> 00:46:23,394
- Oh, my God, I know you.
- You were on Celebrity Dance Off.
- 884
- 00:46:23,556 --> 00:46:25,479
- Oh, yeah!
- 885
- 00:46:25,558 --> 00:46:26,684
- Ostreicher.
- 886
- 00:46:26,851 --> 00:46:28,068
- Oh, yeah.
- 887
- 00:46:28,228 --> 00:46:29,354
- Hey, come on in.
- 888
- 00:46:31,189 --> 00:46:32,782
- That was very smooth, Stifler.
- 889
- 00:46:32,941 --> 00:46:34,193
- Shut up, shitbreak.
- 890
- 00:46:34,359 --> 00:46:36,532
- The last time I did this,
- cell phones didn't exist.
- 891
- 00:46:52,085 --> 00:46:53,211
- Shit!
- 892
- 00:46:59,217 --> 00:47:00,434
- Daddy.
- 893
- 00:47:02,095 --> 00:47:03,142
- Look, Mom, Daddy!
- 894
- 00:47:03,221 --> 00:47:04,222
- Shit!
- 895
- 00:47:18,987 --> 00:47:20,739
- Oh, fuck!
- 896
- 00:47:21,823 --> 00:47:23,416
- Kara?
- 897
- 00:47:24,576 --> 00:47:25,577
- Kara?
- 898
- 00:47:27,537 --> 00:47:28,584
- Kara?
- 899
- 00:47:28,747 --> 00:47:30,966
- Gonna have to find me.
- 900
- 00:47:31,041 --> 00:47:32,213
- Kara?
- 901
- 00:47:33,376 --> 00:47:35,378
- Thank you, Sheranda.
- You've been very helpful.
- 902
- 00:47:35,462 --> 00:47:37,885
- You get a Triple
- A-plus in my book.
- 903
- 00:47:38,048 --> 00:47:41,097
- Oh, you take care, too.
- Okay, yeah, bye-bye.
- 904
- 00:47:42,093 --> 00:47:46,473
- So, that was AAA on the phone and
- they should be here in a jiffy.
- 905
- 00:47:47,390 --> 00:47:49,108
- Does this song sound familiar?
- 906
- 00:47:54,397 --> 00:47:57,071
- You were such a good dancer.
- I felt so bad when you got voted off.
- 907
- 00:47:57,275 --> 00:47:58,322
- Thank you.
- 908
- 00:47:58,485 --> 00:48:00,487
- But I have to say you're
- much sexier in person.
- 909
- 00:48:00,695 --> 00:48:04,666
- Okay. Calm down there, Susan.
- 910
- 00:48:05,450 --> 00:48:08,078
- Dude, she wants to fuck
- you big time, dude.
- 911
- 00:48:08,244 --> 00:48:10,417
- - You got to hit that.
- - No fucking way.
- 912
- 00:48:10,580 --> 00:48:11,832
- Do it for Jim, dude,
- don't be selfish.
- 913
- 00:48:12,290 --> 00:48:15,134
- Hey, you know what?
- I think I have to go to the bathroom.
- 914
- 00:48:16,002 --> 00:48:18,096
- Kara, this is not funny.
- 915
- 00:48:18,296 --> 00:48:20,970
- Kara, come on! Kara, come out.
- 916
- 00:48:21,132 --> 00:48:22,349
- Boo!
- 917
- 00:48:22,509 --> 00:48:23,806
- Oh, my God!
- 918
- 00:48:23,831 --> 00:48:25,287
- Okay. Right. Here
- 919
- 00:48:25,288 --> 00:48:26,384
- Come on.
- 920
- 00:48:26,385 --> 00:48:27,500
- Alright. Okay.
- 921
- 00:48:27,501 --> 00:48:28,298
- Good. Okay.
- 922
- 00:48:28,299 --> 00:48:29,746
- Alright. Come on.
- 923
- 00:48:29,747 --> 00:48:30,767
- Okay, good.
- 924
- 00:48:31,207 --> 00:48:32,880
- - Watch it
- - You never could find me.
- 925
- 00:48:33,042 --> 00:48:35,761
- Jim, I don't mean to alarm you
- but you don't have much time.
- 926
- 00:48:35,920 --> 00:48:36,921
- Yes, I know.
- 927
- 00:48:37,088 --> 00:48:38,431
- - I like your scarf.
- - Okay.
- 928
- 00:48:38,589 --> 00:48:40,262
- - I like your breasts,
- - Door.
- 929
- 00:48:40,425 --> 00:48:41,893
- Would it be okay
- if I get a picture?
- 930
- 00:48:42,051 --> 00:48:43,052
- Sure.
- 931
- 00:48:47,557 --> 00:48:49,150
- I know it's in here somewhere.
- 932
- 00:48:53,271 --> 00:48:55,239
- Okay, a bottle of hair spray...
- 933
- 00:48:55,314 --> 00:48:56,361
- You guys all right?
- 934
- 00:48:56,441 --> 00:48:57,784
- Yeah. Yeah.
- 935
- 00:48:58,568 --> 00:48:59,615
- You know something?
- 936
- 00:48:59,819 --> 00:49:04,620
- I really was admiring how clean
- your toilet was in your bathroom.
- 937
- 00:49:05,158 --> 00:49:06,284
- Thanks.
- 938
- 00:49:06,951 --> 00:49:09,124
- You know what?
- I have to use the restroom, too.
- 939
- 00:49:09,287 --> 00:49:10,413
- No, you don't.
- 940
- 00:49:18,504 --> 00:49:19,630
- Let's get in bed.
- 941
- 00:49:19,797 --> 00:49:20,344
- Come on and get in bed with me?
- 942
- 00:49:20,423 --> 00:49:21,549
- No, I'm not getting in bed...
- 943
- 00:49:21,632 --> 00:49:22,679
- Come on. Get in bed with me.
- 944
- 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,053
- No, I'm not... Kara, please.
- Oh, God. Please.
- 945
- 00:49:25,136 --> 00:49:26,137
- Oh, shit!
- 946
- 00:49:27,305 --> 00:49:28,602
- Stifler, what are
- you doing here?
- 947
- 00:49:28,765 --> 00:49:30,608
- I just wanted another glimpse.
- 948
- 00:49:30,767 --> 00:49:32,189
- No. Why'd you put her clothes
- back on, dude? Boo.
- 949
- 00:49:32,268 --> 00:49:33,485
- You have to go.
- 950
- 00:49:35,146 --> 00:49:36,363
- What was that?
- 951
- 00:49:36,481 --> 00:49:38,700
- That sounded like
- it came from outside.
- 952
- 00:49:38,858 --> 00:49:40,701
- No, that came from Kara's room.
- 953
- 00:49:40,860 --> 00:49:41,952
- Oh, Jesus.
- 954
- 00:49:42,028 --> 00:49:43,029
- Kara?
- 955
- 00:49:45,073 --> 00:49:46,074
- Oh, my God.
- 956
- 00:49:47,825 --> 00:49:49,042
- Go, go, go!
- 957
- 00:49:56,334 --> 00:49:57,711
- What the hell's
- going on in here?
- 958
- 00:49:59,670 --> 00:50:00,967
- Hi, Daddy.
- 959
- 00:50:01,714 --> 00:50:02,761
- How'd you get back in?
- 960
- 00:50:03,841 --> 00:50:05,013
- I don't remember.
- 961
- 00:50:05,176 --> 00:50:06,644
- You don't remember?
- 962
- 00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,559
- What was that sound?
- 963
- 00:50:08,638 --> 00:50:09,605
- I don't know.
- 964
- 00:50:09,680 --> 00:50:10,772
- What do you mean,
- you don't know?
- 965
- 00:50:10,848 --> 00:50:11,849
- I don't know.
- 966
- 00:50:13,851 --> 00:50:15,194
- You've been drinking,
- haven't you?
- 967
- 00:50:15,353 --> 00:50:16,479
- No.
- 968
- 00:50:16,646 --> 00:50:19,445
- Kara, I told you these boys
- try to get you drunk
- 969
- 00:50:19,524 --> 00:50:21,151
- so they can take
- advantage of you.
- 970
- 00:50:21,234 --> 00:50:22,827
- I'm old enough
- to know that, Dad.
- 971
- 00:50:22,985 --> 00:50:24,578
- Yeah, well, I don't
- want to go to jail
- 972
- 00:50:24,654 --> 00:50:26,577
- for kicking some
- horny kid's teeth in
- 973
- 00:50:26,656 --> 00:50:28,408
- but I will, believe me.
- 974
- 00:50:32,078 --> 00:50:33,204
- What is that?
- 975
- 00:50:33,871 --> 00:50:36,671
- Oh, that's Mr. Moo!
- 976
- 00:50:37,416 --> 00:50:40,215
- Will you get him for me,
- Daddy? Please.
- 977
- 00:50:57,436 --> 00:50:59,564
- I can't be mad at my angel.
- 978
- 00:51:05,570 --> 00:51:07,743
- Happy birthday, princess.
- 979
- 00:51:07,947 --> 00:51:09,039
- Thanks, Dad.
- 980
- 00:51:18,541 --> 00:51:19,633
- What are you doing?
- 981
- 00:51:20,418 --> 00:51:21,761
- Nothing.
- 982
- 00:51:25,339 --> 00:51:26,636
- Oh, jeez.
- 983
- 00:51:28,885 --> 00:51:29,932
- Stifler?
- 984
- 00:51:31,095 --> 00:51:32,187
- Stifler?
- 985
- 00:51:32,263 --> 00:51:33,310
- Up here, dude.
- 986
- 00:51:34,765 --> 00:51:36,108
- I told you I was an expert.
- 987
- 00:51:37,268 --> 00:51:38,485
- Oh, shit.
- 988
- 00:51:39,145 --> 00:51:40,772
- What the hell is going on now?
- 989
- 00:51:43,691 --> 00:51:44,863
- Hey.
- 990
- 00:51:44,942 --> 00:51:46,819
- Want to go to
- a Justin Bieber concert?
- 991
- 00:51:46,903 --> 00:51:48,325
- Uh... Jim?
- 992
- 00:51:48,613 --> 00:51:49,990
- Stifler, come on. Come on!
- 993
- 00:51:50,156 --> 00:51:51,453
- Let's go.
- 994
- 00:51:52,575 --> 00:51:55,328
- You and you, stay here.
- 995
- 00:51:55,828 --> 00:51:57,045
- Don't push me.
- 996
- 00:51:58,331 --> 00:51:59,799
- Whoa! Oh, my God.
- 997
- 00:52:02,793 --> 00:52:03,840
- Ah!
- 998
- 00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:05,263
- Kara, where
- the hell are you?
- 999
- 00:52:05,338 --> 00:52:07,136
- I'm on my way to
- your place and...
- 1000
- 00:52:10,468 --> 00:52:11,845
- What the...
- 1001
- 00:52:11,928 --> 00:52:12,975
- Fuck!
- 1002
- 00:52:18,309 --> 00:52:20,107
- What the hell is going on?
- 1003
- 00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:22,647
- Oh, God!
- 1004
- 00:52:34,784 --> 00:52:37,162
- Hey, stud.
- 1005
- 00:52:37,328 --> 00:52:39,171
- I thought you'd never...
- 1006
- 00:53:00,268 --> 00:53:04,444
- Oh, shit, shit.
- We were supposed to...
- 1007
- 00:53:04,563 --> 00:53:05,610
- No, it's fine.
- 1008
- 00:53:05,690 --> 00:53:07,692
- What? No, God, it's not fine.
- 1009
- 00:53:08,734 --> 00:53:11,738
- Shoot! I'm so sorry, Michelle.
- I really... I wanted to, I just...
- 1010
- 00:53:11,904 --> 00:53:13,952
- I'm going to drop
- Ev at my grandma's
- 1011
- 00:53:14,031 --> 00:53:16,033
- and I'll be back
- this afternoon.
- 1012
- 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:18,168
- No, Michelle, hold on.
- 1013
- 00:53:22,039 --> 00:53:23,507
- Jim, I'm worried.
- 1014
- 00:53:24,583 --> 00:53:26,176
- What are you worried about?
- 1015
- 00:53:26,335 --> 00:53:30,181
- Just we're like so out of sync.
- 1016
- 00:53:32,258 --> 00:53:33,885
- I just...
- 1017
- 00:53:34,051 --> 00:53:36,554
- I don't know how much longer
- we can go on like this.
- 1018
- 00:53:39,056 --> 00:53:43,277
- I promise you I will do everything
- I can to make it up to you.
- 1019
- 00:53:43,602 --> 00:53:44,899
- Okay?
- 1020
- 00:53:45,062 --> 00:53:46,689
- Stifler's having
- a party tonight.
- 1021
- 00:53:47,857 --> 00:53:52,328
- Okay, I know that doesn't
- sound romantic or anything,
- 1022
- 00:53:52,403 --> 00:53:57,910
- but remember our first time
- was at a Stifler party.
- 1023
- 00:53:58,075 --> 00:53:59,622
- You made me your bitch.
- 1024
- 00:54:02,246 --> 00:54:04,624
- Yes. Yes, I did.
- 1025
- 00:54:24,143 --> 00:54:25,645
- Tell me when, okay?
- 1026
- 00:54:25,978 --> 00:54:27,230
- What the fuck?
- 1027
- 00:54:36,614 --> 00:54:37,957
- Mmm.
- 1028
- 00:54:54,799 --> 00:54:57,097
- So, Mia.
- 1029
- 00:54:58,094 --> 00:55:01,143
- She's a free spirit.
- 1030
- 00:55:01,305 --> 00:55:02,807
- She's something else.
- 1031
- 00:55:02,973 --> 00:55:04,475
- Yeah, she is.
- 1032
- 00:55:06,519 --> 00:55:09,318
- Wait a minute, do I sense
- a little jealousy there?
- 1033
- 00:55:09,480 --> 00:55:10,982
- - No. Mmm-mmm.
- - No?
- 1034
- 00:55:11,148 --> 00:55:13,401
- Hey, don't forget, you were
- the one who broke up with me
- 1035
- 00:55:13,484 --> 00:55:14,781
- before you went to med school.
- 1036
- 00:55:14,860 --> 00:55:19,036
- Hey, you were moving to LA
- with no return in sight.
- 1037
- 00:55:19,198 --> 00:55:21,667
- You can't blame me for
- wanting to settle down.
- 1038
- 00:55:21,992 --> 00:55:24,165
- No, I don't.
- 1039
- 00:55:24,995 --> 00:55:27,748
- I just don't
- want you to settle.
- 1040
- 00:55:28,374 --> 00:55:30,547
- Look who's jealous now.
- 1041
- 00:55:30,709 --> 00:55:33,508
- I wouldn't call being
- with Ron "settling."
- 1042
- 00:55:33,671 --> 00:55:36,174
- Oh, no, he's gorgeous on paper.
- 1043
- 00:55:36,549 --> 00:55:37,971
- What is that supposed to mean?
- 1044
- 00:55:38,342 --> 00:55:40,060
- Nothing. Um...
- 1045
- 00:55:41,220 --> 00:55:44,315
- I'm sorry. You're right.
- 1046
- 00:55:46,016 --> 00:55:47,689
- I am a bit jealous.
- 1047
- 00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,863
- You know, it's funny.
- 1048
- 00:55:51,814 --> 00:55:55,364
- In some ways, you've
- completely changed,
- 1049
- 00:55:55,526 --> 00:55:58,496
- and, in other ways,
- you're exactly the same.
- 1050
- 00:55:58,654 --> 00:56:00,702
- Heather, you can believe this,
- 1051
- 00:56:00,865 --> 00:56:02,367
- nothing's changed.
- 1052
- 00:56:04,827 --> 00:56:05,874
- Oh, my God.
- 1053
- 00:56:06,036 --> 00:56:07,663
- Chris Ostreicher?
- 1054
- 00:56:08,205 --> 00:56:09,377
- Hi, girls.
- 1055
- 00:56:09,457 --> 00:56:10,583
- Can I get a pic?
- 1056
- 00:56:10,749 --> 00:56:11,841
- Sure.
- 1057
- 00:56:17,506 --> 00:56:18,553
- Dad?
- 1058
- 00:56:20,259 --> 00:56:21,556
- - Oh, hey, Dad.
- - Hey, Jim.
- 1059
- 00:56:21,719 --> 00:56:23,346
- I'm just going to
- run out for a sec.
- 1060
- 00:56:23,512 --> 00:56:26,356
- I was just watching
- your old Bar Mitzvah tape.
- 1061
- 00:56:28,725 --> 00:56:29,772
- I got
- your Jew scarf!
- 1062
- 00:56:29,935 --> 00:56:31,562
- Give it back, Stifler.
- 1063
- 00:56:34,356 --> 00:56:39,783
- I think I'm the happiest man
- in the world thanks to you.
- 1064
- 00:56:45,367 --> 00:56:47,290
- Yeah, I miss her too, Dad.
- 1065
- 00:56:49,288 --> 00:56:50,460
- I know.
- 1066
- 00:56:58,797 --> 00:57:02,768
- Dad, you've always been
- there to give me advice.
- 1067
- 00:57:03,093 --> 00:57:06,768
- But if there's anything
- that you want to talk about,
- 1068
- 00:57:08,098 --> 00:57:09,600
- I'm here for you.
- 1069
- 00:57:11,143 --> 00:57:13,612
- Yeah, I don't think
- there's anything
- 1070
- 00:57:13,687 --> 00:57:16,110
- I really need
- to talk about, Jim.
- 1071
- 00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:20,115
- Do you think maybe
- it's time for you to
- 1072
- 00:57:20,569 --> 00:57:21,946
- meet someone else?
- 1073
- 00:57:23,113 --> 00:57:25,161
- Dad, it's okay.
- 1074
- 00:57:25,324 --> 00:57:29,454
- What you're going through
- is perfectly natural.
- 1075
- 00:57:30,371 --> 00:57:33,170
- You know, there are
- services out there...
- 1076
- 00:57:33,332 --> 00:57:34,379
- - Services?
- - Yeah.
- 1077
- 00:57:34,458 --> 00:57:35,675
- Like what?
- 1078
- 00:57:35,834 --> 00:57:37,632
- - A happy ending?
- - What's that?
- 1079
- 00:57:37,795 --> 00:57:38,842
- Because I won't go there.
- 1080
- 00:57:38,921 --> 00:57:39,922
- Oh, my God.
- 1081
- 00:57:40,047 --> 00:57:42,049
- I don't need that...
- I don't need that kind of massage, Jim.
- 1082
- 00:57:42,132 --> 00:57:43,224
- That's not what I was...
- 1083
- 00:57:43,300 --> 00:57:44,893
- Because, you know what,
- it's dangerous.
- 1084
- 00:57:44,969 --> 00:57:46,437
- And you can pick things up.
- 1085
- 00:57:46,512 --> 00:57:48,389
- You don't even wanna know
- what you can pick up.
- 1086
- 00:57:48,556 --> 00:57:50,058
- - Talk to your uncle Mort.
- - I'd rather not.
- 1087
- 00:57:50,140 --> 00:57:51,357
- He was in the hospital
- for two weeks.
- 1088
- 00:57:51,433 --> 00:57:52,901
- That's disgusting.
- 1089
- 00:57:56,146 --> 00:57:58,649
- I was talking about
- 1090
- 00:57:59,358 --> 00:58:00,951
- online dating services.
- 1091
- 00:58:02,653 --> 00:58:03,700
- No, Jim.
- 1092
- 00:58:03,862 --> 00:58:06,911
- Yeah, right, at my age?
- I don't think so.
- 1093
- 00:58:07,074 --> 00:58:09,076
- I've been out of
- the game for so long.
- 1094
- 00:58:09,159 --> 00:58:10,661
- There wasn't even
- a game back then.
- 1095
- 00:58:10,744 --> 00:58:14,749
- Dad, don't worry.
- I'll hook you up.
- 1096
- 00:58:20,004 --> 00:58:21,301
- Do you have those photos?
- 1097
- 00:58:21,672 --> 00:58:23,265
- Here you go.
- 1098
- 00:58:23,591 --> 00:58:24,592
- Wow.
- 1099
- 00:58:24,675 --> 00:58:25,847
- - Yeah.
- - Oh.
- 1100
- 00:58:26,010 --> 00:58:27,262
- We might need something
- a little more recent.
- 1101
- 00:58:27,344 --> 00:58:28,345
- Do you think?
- 1102
- 00:58:30,014 --> 00:58:33,109
- Do you have something
- that's a bit sexier?
- 1103
- 00:58:33,934 --> 00:58:35,151
- Gotcha.
- 1104
- 00:58:39,231 --> 00:58:40,232
- Did you...
- 1105
- 00:58:41,858 --> 00:58:42,075
- Favorite music.
- 1106
- 00:58:42,359 --> 00:58:43,360
- Um...
- 1107
- 00:58:43,611 --> 00:58:44,988
- Herman's Hermits.
- 1108
- 00:58:45,362 --> 00:58:46,363
- Okay.
- 1109
- 00:58:47,197 --> 00:58:48,164
- Oh...
- 1110
- 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:51,210
- Girls, one at a time, please.
- 1111
- 00:58:51,535 --> 00:58:52,707
- Interests and hobbies.
- 1112
- 00:58:52,870 --> 00:58:53,962
- Sudoku.
- 1113
- 00:58:54,121 --> 00:58:55,213
- We'll come back to this one.
- 1114
- 00:59:02,129 --> 00:59:04,131
- Are we sure we're
- not taking off too much?
- 1115
- 00:59:04,298 --> 00:59:07,017
- These caterpillars are
- kind of my trademark.
- 1116
- 00:59:08,886 --> 00:59:11,560
- Okay... Perfect.
- 1117
- 00:59:11,722 --> 00:59:14,145
- - Take a look.
- - I'm nervous.
- 1118
- 00:59:18,062 --> 00:59:21,066
- Oh, that's fantastic!
- 1119
- 00:59:21,231 --> 00:59:24,235
- That is a great look for me!
- 1120
- 00:59:24,485 --> 00:59:25,486
- Huh?
- 1121
- 00:59:25,569 --> 00:59:29,199
- Leaner lines.
- I still have mobility.
- 1122
- 00:59:30,199 --> 00:59:32,167
- Why didn't I do
- this 30 years ago?
- 1123
- 00:59:32,242 --> 00:59:33,243
- Looking good.
- 1124
- 00:59:33,410 --> 00:59:35,378
- Why don't we test this
- new look out tonight?
- 1125
- 00:59:35,704 --> 00:59:36,705
- Oh, um...
- 1126
- 00:59:37,081 --> 00:59:40,460
- The thing is, Stifler is
- throwing a party tonight.
- 1127
- 00:59:40,751 --> 00:59:42,594
- Oh! Well, another time.
- 1128
- 00:59:42,753 --> 00:59:44,972
- But you could come with us.
- 1129
- 00:59:45,589 --> 00:59:46,886
- It would be nice to
- get out of the house.
- 1130
- 00:59:47,049 --> 00:59:48,596
- I do have to warn you, though,
- 1131
- 00:59:48,759 --> 00:59:52,013
- Stifler's parties
- can get a little.
- 1132
- 00:59:52,179 --> 00:59:53,351
- Wild.
- 1133
- 01:00:05,567 --> 01:00:08,946
- What the fuck is this?
- 1134
- 01:00:09,780 --> 01:00:11,782
- Who the hell changed the music?
- 1135
- 01:00:11,949 --> 01:00:14,247
- Sorry, we thought this
- was more baby-friendly.
- 1136
- 01:00:14,410 --> 01:00:17,209
- - Didn't we?
- - Yes, we did.
- 1137
- 01:00:17,371 --> 01:00:19,089
- Stifmeister!
- 1138
- 01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:23,961
- Bluck!
- 1139
- 01:00:24,378 --> 01:00:25,595
- Chester!
- 1140
- 01:00:28,674 --> 01:00:30,392
- What have you
- cock-smokers been up to?
- 1141
- 01:00:30,551 --> 01:00:32,849
- - Well, we just got engaged.
- - Yeah.
- 1142
- 01:00:33,011 --> 01:00:35,514
- What? That's so fucking gay.
- 1143
- 01:00:37,391 --> 01:00:39,644
- Yeah, Stifler, we are gay.
- 1144
- 01:00:40,144 --> 01:00:41,566
- Half the lacrosse team was gay.
- 1145
- 01:00:41,645 --> 01:00:43,773
- You must have
- known that, right?
- 1146
- 01:00:43,897 --> 01:00:46,446
- Dude, you walked in on Doug
- and Barry in the shower.
- 1147
- 01:00:47,776 --> 01:00:49,494
- I just thought
- they were wrestling.
- 1148
- 01:00:50,757 --> 01:00:53,683
- - They were.
- - Yeah they definitely were.
- 1149
- 01:00:53,684 --> 01:00:56,024
- They just wasn't a
- loser that night
- 1150
- 01:00:56,025 --> 01:00:56,609
- Oh.
- 1151
- 01:01:02,105 --> 01:01:04,153
- Are we sure this is Stifler's?
- 1152
- 01:01:04,775 --> 01:01:05,776
- Ooh!
- 1153
- 01:01:05,859 --> 01:01:07,202
- Hors d'oeuvres!
- 1154
- 01:01:07,319 --> 01:01:08,946
- Why don't you give
- this to our host, son?
- 1155
- 01:01:10,948 --> 01:01:11,949
- Hmm.
- 1156
- 01:01:12,616 --> 01:01:14,960
- Oh, my God! Look who it is.
- 1157
- 01:01:15,077 --> 01:01:16,169
- Hey.
- 1158
- 01:01:18,288 --> 01:01:19,710
- Sorry for interrupting
- you guys last night.
- 1159
- 01:01:20,165 --> 01:01:22,042
- Bravo, by the way.
- 1160
- 01:01:22,209 --> 01:01:24,962
- Most wives stop doing that
- after they get the ring.
- 1161
- 01:01:25,128 --> 01:01:26,971
- - What are you talking about?
- - Did you change your hair color?
- 1162
- 01:01:27,130 --> 01:01:32,478
- So, is your buddy, the other
- MILF guy, here tonight?
- 1163
- 01:01:32,636 --> 01:01:34,479
- I thought you always come
- to these things together.
- 1164
- 01:01:35,305 --> 01:01:39,310
- Let's just say that friendship
- is a two-way street.
- 1165
- 01:01:40,852 --> 01:01:42,354
- Excuse me.
- 1166
- 01:01:44,523 --> 01:01:45,524
- Mmm.
- 1167
- 01:01:45,816 --> 01:01:47,693
- Could this party get any lamer?
- 1168
- 01:01:48,735 --> 01:01:50,328
- It's not so bad.
- 1169
- 01:01:51,822 --> 01:01:53,495
- You want some E?
- 1170
- 01:01:53,657 --> 01:01:55,375
- No. Why do you have that?
- 1171
- 01:01:55,826 --> 01:01:58,204
- No one else here
- probably has any.
- 1172
- 01:01:58,370 --> 01:01:59,417
- Are you sure you
- don't want one?
- 1173
- 01:01:59,580 --> 01:02:00,581
- Yeah.
- 1174
- 01:02:00,706 --> 01:02:01,878
- No... Yes.
- 1175
- 01:02:01,957 --> 01:02:02,958
- No.
- 1176
- 01:02:03,041 --> 01:02:05,214
- Okay. Fine. More for me, then.
- 1177
- 01:02:10,716 --> 01:02:12,013
- And there they are.
- 1178
- 01:02:12,175 --> 01:02:13,347
- Finchy.
- 1179
- 01:02:14,386 --> 01:02:17,890
- There you guys are. Look around.
- Can you believe this shit?
- 1180
- 01:02:18,056 --> 01:02:19,854
- Yeah, man. Nice work.
- 1181
- 01:02:20,017 --> 01:02:21,439
- For you.
- 1182
- 01:02:21,518 --> 01:02:23,270
- What the hell am I
- supposed to do with this?
- 1183
- 01:02:23,437 --> 01:02:24,905
- That's called wine, Stifler.
- 1184
- 01:02:25,063 --> 01:02:26,690
- No, no, no, no,
- not at my party.
- 1185
- 01:02:26,773 --> 01:02:28,070
- I'm going to get us some shots.
- 1186
- 01:02:29,484 --> 01:02:30,531
- Hey, Kev.
- 1187
- 01:02:30,611 --> 01:02:32,204
- Can I talk to you
- guys for a sec?
- 1188
- 01:02:32,529 --> 01:02:34,531
- Yeah, sure. Wait here,
- I'll be right back.
- 1189
- 01:02:36,700 --> 01:02:38,247
- So, you brought the goods?
- 1190
- 01:02:38,452 --> 01:02:39,704
- Right here.
- 1191
- 01:02:39,870 --> 01:02:41,417
- I want to see.
- 1192
- 01:02:43,874 --> 01:02:46,878
- What the...
- Where did those fuckers go?
- 1193
- 01:02:47,210 --> 01:02:48,211
- Hello, Steven.
- 1194
- 01:02:48,754 --> 01:02:50,552
- - Mr. Levenstein.
- - Yes.
- 1195
- 01:02:50,631 --> 01:02:51,723
- You made it.
- 1196
- 01:02:51,882 --> 01:02:54,510
- It is so great to see
- all you kids back in town.
- 1197
- 01:02:54,593 --> 01:02:55,640
- Hmm.
- 1198
- 01:02:55,719 --> 01:02:59,098
- And what a terrific soiree
- you're throwing here tonight.
- 1199
- 01:02:59,264 --> 01:03:01,107
- Just wonderful!
- 1200
- 01:03:01,266 --> 01:03:04,941
- You know what?
- I'm going to get you fucked up.
- 1201
- 01:03:05,020 --> 01:03:06,317
- - Hmm?
- - Have a shot.
- 1202
- 01:03:06,480 --> 01:03:08,073
- Oh! No, no, no.
- 1203
- 01:03:08,231 --> 01:03:11,610
- I don't think so, Steven.
- I'm not much of a drinker.
- 1204
- 01:03:11,777 --> 01:03:13,745
- - Drink it. Drink it! Drink it!
- - No, I can't.
- 1205
- 01:03:13,904 --> 01:03:15,326
- Drink it! Drink it!
- 1206
- 01:03:17,407 --> 01:03:18,499
- Awesome! Let's do another one.
- 1207
- 01:03:18,575 --> 01:03:19,747
- I don't think so.
- 1208
- 01:03:19,826 --> 01:03:22,170
- Look, Kev, you don't know for
- sure if anything happened.
- 1209
- 01:03:22,245 --> 01:03:25,590
- I woke up next to her in bed,
- and all our clothes were off.
- 1210
- 01:03:25,749 --> 01:03:28,423
- I mean, whatever happened,
- I feel guilty.
- 1211
- 01:03:28,585 --> 01:03:30,258
- Kevin, in France,
- 1212
- 01:03:30,420 --> 01:03:34,095
- it's only considered cheating if
- your wife catches you in the act.
- 1213
- 01:03:37,469 --> 01:03:38,470
- She's here.
- 1214
- 01:03:40,764 --> 01:03:42,186
- I gotta go.
- 1215
- 01:03:42,474 --> 01:03:44,101
- All right, get ready.
- 1216
- 01:03:44,267 --> 01:03:46,736
- Wait for it. Wait for it!
- 1217
- 01:03:46,812 --> 01:03:47,859
- Wait for it!
- 1218
- 01:03:47,938 --> 01:03:49,485
- Here she comes!
- 1219
- 01:03:49,898 --> 01:03:50,945
- Yeah!
- 1220
- 01:03:51,024 --> 01:03:52,776
- Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
- 1221
- 01:03:52,943 --> 01:03:55,071
- The name is Noah, motherfucker.
- 1222
- 01:03:58,281 --> 01:03:59,282
- Mmm.
- 1223
- 01:03:59,449 --> 01:04:00,792
- Feel the sofa.
- 1224
- 01:04:00,951 --> 01:04:03,625
- It's so smooth.
- 1225
- 01:04:04,121 --> 01:04:06,965
- It feels like a Smurf's ass.
- 1226
- 01:04:07,124 --> 01:04:08,467
- Did you feel it?
- 1227
- 01:04:08,625 --> 01:04:11,674
- Okay. Mia, can you...
- 1228
- 01:04:13,171 --> 01:04:15,139
- Hey, guys. Sorry we're late.
- 1229
- 01:04:15,340 --> 01:04:16,341
- Hi.
- 1230
- 01:04:17,384 --> 01:04:20,479
- Hey, I got a treat for everybody.
- I picked something up.
- 1231
- 01:04:20,637 --> 01:04:23,311
- Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six.
- My man, Chris Ostreicher.
- 1232
- 01:04:23,390 --> 01:04:24,391
- Oh, my God.
- 1233
- 01:04:27,018 --> 01:04:29,020
- We have to watch this.
- 1234
- 01:04:29,187 --> 01:04:31,861
- Who wants to see my
- baby shake his booty?
- 1235
- 01:04:33,483 --> 01:04:34,951
- I know I do.
- 1236
- 01:04:35,110 --> 01:04:37,454
- JDate? You have
- to be kidding me.
- 1237
- 01:04:37,612 --> 01:04:40,866
- If you want quality vag, you
- have to go out into the wild.
- 1238
- 01:04:41,032 --> 01:04:42,284
- "Vag"?
- 1239
- 01:04:43,160 --> 01:04:45,003
- What is that, a half a vagina?
- 1240
- 01:04:46,455 --> 01:04:49,334
- You know, in my day
- we called it a beaver.
- 1241
- 01:04:49,499 --> 01:04:53,345
- And let me tell you something,
- I snagged a pelt or two.
- 1242
- 01:04:53,503 --> 01:04:54,550
- I bet you did.
- 1243
- 01:04:54,671 --> 01:04:55,672
- Dad?
- 1244
- 01:04:55,756 --> 01:04:58,179
- Hey, Jim, your dad is so
- much cooler than you.
- 1245
- 01:04:58,258 --> 01:04:59,931
- Stifler, please stop
- getting my dad drunk.
- 1246
- 01:05:00,010 --> 01:05:02,354
- No, he's just trying
- to get me some vag.
- 1247
- 01:05:02,429 --> 01:05:03,430
- Okay, come on.
- 1248
- 01:05:03,513 --> 01:05:05,186
- Yeah! Hey, hey.
- 1249
- 01:05:05,348 --> 01:05:07,021
- Let the man make
- his own decisions.
- 1250
- 01:05:07,184 --> 01:05:08,231
- Stop. Come on.
- 1251
- 01:05:08,310 --> 01:05:09,311
- Don't listen to him.
- 1252
- 01:05:09,978 --> 01:05:12,322
- I want you to dust off
- that old dick of yours,
- 1253
- 01:05:12,481 --> 01:05:14,483
- go out there, and get some ass.
- 1254
- 01:05:14,649 --> 01:05:15,821
- Oh! Just go out there.
- 1255
- 01:05:15,901 --> 01:05:17,027
- I think I Will.
- 1256
- 01:05:17,194 --> 01:05:19,993
- - Dad, stop, okay?
- - It's exactly what I'm gonna...
- 1257
- 01:05:20,071 --> 01:05:22,745
- I'm sorry, but you have had a
- little too much to drink tonight,
- 1258
- 01:05:22,866 --> 01:05:24,118
- - No, no.
- - and I'm not letting you...
- 1259
- 01:05:24,201 --> 01:05:27,580
- No, son, I haven't
- hardly had one drink.
- 1260
- 01:05:27,746 --> 01:05:30,044
- And you know I love you.
- 1261
- 01:05:30,207 --> 01:05:34,428
- I do love you, but you need to
- 1262
- 01:05:35,837 --> 01:05:36,838
- chillax.
- 1263
- 01:05:37,422 --> 01:05:39,516
- "Chillax"?
- Dad, where are you going?
- 1264
- 01:05:39,591 --> 01:05:41,059
- - Do you see him?
- - Jim! Jim!
- 1265
- 01:05:41,218 --> 01:05:42,891
- Let him go.
- Let him have some fun.
- 1266
- 01:05:44,054 --> 01:05:47,729
- And now we can have some fun.
- 1267
- 01:05:48,934 --> 01:05:49,935
- Come on.
- 1268
- 01:05:51,728 --> 01:05:53,196
- Excuse me.
- 1269
- 01:05:53,355 --> 01:05:55,232
- I'm sorry, excuse me.
- 1270
- 01:05:55,398 --> 01:05:56,490
- Is this a washroom?
- 1271
- 01:05:57,943 --> 01:05:59,991
- It doesn't even occur to you
- that you're self-centered
- 1272
- 01:06:00,070 --> 01:06:02,994
- because you are so
- self-centered and...
- 1273
- 01:06:03,073 --> 01:06:04,950
- You know what?
- Hold on a second.
- 1274
- 01:06:06,910 --> 01:06:08,036
- Can I help you?
- 1275
- 01:06:09,579 --> 01:06:10,956
- Who might you be?
- 1276
- 01:06:11,122 --> 01:06:12,749
- I'm Stifler's mom.
- 1277
- 01:06:13,250 --> 01:06:14,251
- Oh.
- 1278
- 01:06:14,793 --> 01:06:16,591
- I'm Jim's dad.
- 1279
- 01:06:17,921 --> 01:06:19,423
- Later, fucker.
- 1280
- 01:06:38,275 --> 01:06:41,404
- Oh, my God, this is the most
- ridiculous thing I've ever seen.
- 1281
- 01:06:48,869 --> 01:06:50,746
- Dude, you have an amazing body!
- 1282
- 01:06:50,829 --> 01:06:55,300
- Everybody, raise the roof
- for Chris Ostreicher!
- 1283
- 01:06:55,375 --> 01:06:57,377
- You have really been
- bringing it all season long.
- 1284
- 01:06:57,460 --> 01:07:01,966
- But now it's time, Chris, to see if
- America thinks you done brought it.
- 1285
- 01:07:02,632 --> 01:07:04,054
- - You ready?
- - Let's do it.
- 1286
- 01:07:04,134 --> 01:07:05,135
- Let's see the results.
- 1287
- 01:07:11,266 --> 01:07:13,985
- What?
- Gilbert Gottfried and not you?
- 1288
- 01:07:14,144 --> 01:07:15,270
- Fucking bullshit!
- 1289
- 01:07:15,437 --> 01:07:17,565
- Chris, I'm so sorry, man.
- 1290
- 01:07:17,731 --> 01:07:22,328
- Well, we saw you jam.
- Now, it's time to scram.
- 1291
- 01:07:23,278 --> 01:07:24,575
- Do you have any last
- thoughts for the audience?
- 1292
- 01:07:24,738 --> 01:07:27,241
- Okay, guys, we can
- probably end it there.
- 1293
- 01:07:27,407 --> 01:07:29,660
- What? No, are you kidding?
- I haven't seen this.
- 1294
- 01:07:29,826 --> 01:07:32,170
- I think what I've
- learned is to be true
- 1295
- 01:07:32,245 --> 01:07:33,337
- to myself,
- 1296
- 01:07:33,496 --> 01:07:36,500
- because that's what
- dancing is, it's truth.
- 1297
- 01:07:36,666 --> 01:07:38,760
- And maybe,
- 1298
- 01:07:39,002 --> 01:07:42,176
- if we just danced
- a little bit more,
- 1299
- 01:07:42,339 --> 01:07:45,718
- there would be no more wars.
- 1300
- 01:07:47,594 --> 01:07:49,016
- No more war!
- 1301
- 01:07:49,095 --> 01:07:51,393
- Well, that is a thoughtful
- take on foreign policy.
- 1302
- 01:07:52,891 --> 01:07:55,394
- Stick around. Hulk Hogan gets
- jiggy-friggy, right after this.
- 1303
- 01:07:55,560 --> 01:07:56,857
- You don't want to miss this.
- Stick around.
- 1304
- 01:08:05,737 --> 01:08:06,909
- Hey.
- 1305
- 01:08:07,280 --> 01:08:09,374
- If you want my opinion,
- I think you got cheated.
- 1306
- 01:08:11,451 --> 01:08:12,623
- Are you okay?
- 1307
- 01:08:13,536 --> 01:08:15,209
- You know, when...
- 1308
- 01:08:15,956 --> 01:08:18,960
- when you lose something that's important
- to you, it doesn't feel very good.
- 1309
- 01:08:19,584 --> 01:08:21,803
- Oz, it's just a show.
- 1310
- 01:08:22,420 --> 01:08:24,969
- I'm not talking about the show.
- 1311
- 01:08:32,180 --> 01:08:34,057
- Hey, Heather,
- you down there?
- 1312
- 01:08:34,683 --> 01:08:36,151
- Um, coming!
- 1313
- 01:08:37,185 --> 01:08:38,562
- Oh, my God.
- 1314
- 01:08:38,728 --> 01:08:40,025
- Wait here, I'll be right back.
- 1315
- 01:08:41,690 --> 01:08:43,863
- I can't tell you how many times
- I walked into Steven's room
- 1316
- 01:08:44,025 --> 01:08:46,869
- and I caught him in the
- middle of sex with some girl.
- 1317
- 01:08:47,028 --> 01:08:49,827
- At least he was with
- a real, live human girl.
- 1318
- 01:08:49,990 --> 01:08:51,207
- What are you talking about?
- 1319
- 01:08:51,282 --> 01:08:55,412
- I walked into the kitchen once,
- and I saw Jim humping a pie.
- 1320
- 01:08:57,497 --> 01:09:01,127
- He turned the damn thing into a
- crumble in about two seconds.
- 1321
- 01:09:05,839 --> 01:09:07,432
- I can top that.
- 1322
- 01:09:07,590 --> 01:09:08,807
- I once walked into my bedroom
- 1323
- 01:09:08,883 --> 01:09:12,262
- and I caught Steven sticking
- my hairbrush up his ass.
- 1324
- 01:09:16,016 --> 01:09:18,189
- No, and it wasn't
- the handle side, either.
- 1325
- 01:09:21,730 --> 01:09:22,731
- Oh!
- 1326
- 01:09:24,107 --> 01:09:26,451
- No, no, no.
- 1327
- 01:09:27,944 --> 01:09:32,370
- A pretty lady like you shouldn't
- be drinking quite so much.
- 1328
- 01:09:33,158 --> 01:09:34,501
- And neither should I.
- 1329
- 01:09:41,124 --> 01:09:42,467
- How about a joint, then?
- 1330
- 01:09:45,503 --> 01:09:49,633
- We don't have to wait 13 years
- to see each other again.
- 1331
- 01:09:49,799 --> 01:09:51,392
- Yeah, true.
- 1332
- 01:09:51,551 --> 01:09:55,522
- And I guess I could come along
- on one of your adventures.
- 1333
- 01:09:55,680 --> 01:09:58,559
- Am I good sidekick material?
- 1334
- 01:09:58,641 --> 01:09:59,688
- Sidekick?
- 1335
- 01:09:59,768 --> 01:10:04,740
- I think you are a lot more
- than sidekick material.
- 1336
- 01:10:10,487 --> 01:10:12,330
- Is everything okay?
- 1337
- 01:10:14,991 --> 01:10:16,993
- It's better than ever.
- 1338
- 01:10:19,829 --> 01:10:20,876
- Mmm. Mmm.
- 1339
- 01:10:20,955 --> 01:10:22,298
- Okay, wait, wait.
- 1340
- 01:10:22,457 --> 01:10:26,303
- I don't think we're dressed
- appropriately for the occasion.
- 1341
- 01:10:26,461 --> 01:10:28,008
- Put that on.
- 1342
- 01:10:28,171 --> 01:10:29,514
- Wait, where are you going?
- 1343
- 01:10:29,589 --> 01:10:32,513
- To change. Be back soon.
- 1344
- 01:10:43,019 --> 01:10:44,236
- Dudes!
- 1345
- 01:10:46,022 --> 01:10:47,615
- What's up, bro?
- 1346
- 01:10:48,566 --> 01:10:50,534
- Big Stiffy?
- 1347
- 01:10:50,693 --> 01:10:52,787
- Blowjob Lipstein.
- 1348
- 01:10:55,740 --> 01:10:58,539
- Oh, you have to be
- fucking kidding me!
- 1349
- 01:10:58,743 --> 01:10:59,869
- Excuse me?
- 1350
- 01:11:06,584 --> 01:11:07,631
- Okay.
- 1351
- 01:11:08,253 --> 01:11:11,427
- What the hell are you doing?
- You just expect me to blow you?
- 1352
- 01:11:11,506 --> 01:11:12,553
- Yeah!
- 1353
- 01:11:12,715 --> 01:11:14,092
- I'm out of here.
- 1354
- 01:11:14,259 --> 01:11:15,761
- Wait. Wait, Wait!
- 1355
- 01:11:15,927 --> 01:11:17,395
- Look, I get it.
- 1356
- 01:11:17,554 --> 01:11:19,227
- You're self-conscious
- about your body.
- 1357
- 01:11:19,931 --> 01:11:22,775
- Don't worry. I was going to
- shut the lights off anyway.
- 1358
- 01:11:22,934 --> 01:11:25,562
- You are the same douchebag
- that you were in high school.
- 1359
- 01:11:26,062 --> 01:11:29,783
- You just expect me to do
- everything while I get nothing?
- 1360
- 01:11:29,941 --> 01:11:30,942
- Later.
- 1361
- 01:11:31,025 --> 01:11:32,242
- No, no!
- 1362
- 01:11:36,406 --> 01:11:38,283
- Let's make a deal.
- 1363
- 01:11:39,576 --> 01:11:42,955
- I'll get you off,
- you get me off.
- 1364
- 01:11:43,121 --> 01:11:44,998
- What do you say?
- 1365
- 01:11:45,331 --> 01:11:46,583
- Fine.
- 1366
- 01:11:47,250 --> 01:11:49,093
- But I am putting you to work.
- 1367
- 01:11:49,460 --> 01:11:50,837
- Holy shit.
- 1368
- 01:11:52,005 --> 01:11:53,757
- Chow time!
- 1369
- 01:11:57,377 --> 01:11:59,054
- There you are!
- 1370
- 01:11:59,137 --> 01:12:01,936
- I've been looking
- all over for you.
- 1371
- 01:12:02,098 --> 01:12:04,692
- Listen, we really need to...
- 1372
- 01:12:06,436 --> 01:12:07,938
- What are you doing?
- 1373
- 01:12:08,104 --> 01:12:09,526
- Taking what's mine.
- 1374
- 01:12:12,108 --> 01:12:14,782
- No, I just wanted to hear
- the sound of your voice.
- 1375
- 01:12:15,069 --> 01:12:17,618
- Aw, is everything okay?
- You seem stressed.
- 1376
- 01:12:18,031 --> 01:12:19,658
- Stressed?
- 1377
- 01:12:21,492 --> 01:12:23,290
- There you are!
- 1378
- 01:12:24,787 --> 01:12:26,835
- No, no, no.
- 1379
- 01:12:26,998 --> 01:12:30,719
- I have to go right now, but I'll
- call you back in a little bit.
- 1380
- 01:12:30,877 --> 01:12:34,131
- Okay. And don't worry, I won't
- watch Gossip Girl without you.
- 1381
- 01:12:34,255 --> 01:12:35,222
- I miss you, babe.
- 1382
- 01:12:35,298 --> 01:12:36,720
- I miss you, too.
- 1383
- 01:12:40,136 --> 01:12:43,640
- Listen, Vicky,
- about last night,
- 1384
- 01:12:44,515 --> 01:12:45,812
- that wasn't me.
- 1385
- 01:12:45,975 --> 01:12:48,069
- With what happened...
- 1386
- 01:12:48,728 --> 01:12:51,322
- I don't know.
- It might be normal in your world.
- 1387
- 01:12:51,481 --> 01:12:53,233
- What do you think happened?
- 1388
- 01:12:53,691 --> 01:12:56,035
- Well, all our clothes
- were on the floor.
- 1389
- 01:12:56,194 --> 01:12:57,491
- Yeah, because
- they were soaking wet
- 1390
- 01:12:57,570 --> 01:12:59,243
- from when you got drunk
- and fell in the lake.
- 1391
- 01:12:59,405 --> 01:13:00,907
- I took care of you.
- 1392
- 01:13:01,074 --> 01:13:03,918
- So, we didn't have sex?
- 1393
- 01:13:04,077 --> 01:13:05,203
- Of course not.
- 1394
- 01:13:05,870 --> 01:13:07,838
- Oh, thank God!
- 1395
- 01:13:10,250 --> 01:13:13,094
- I'm glad you think
- so highly of me.
- 1396
- 01:13:14,128 --> 01:13:15,175
- No.
- 1397
- 01:13:15,672 --> 01:13:17,265
- Vicky, wait.
- 1398
- 01:13:18,258 --> 01:13:21,053
- Oh, yeah!
- Oh, my God!
- 1399
- 01:13:21,511 --> 01:13:23,013
- Mia, stop.
- 1400
- 01:13:24,681 --> 01:13:26,024
- Oh, my God, yeah!
- 1401
- 01:13:26,182 --> 01:13:27,399
- Mia, get off!
- 1402
- 01:13:27,475 --> 01:13:29,352
- I'm about to! I'm about to!
- 1403
- 01:13:31,604 --> 01:13:32,696
- Heather.
- 1404
- 01:13:35,024 --> 01:13:36,071
- What the hell?
- 1405
- 01:13:37,193 --> 01:13:38,866
- You have something going on
- with this skank?
- 1406
- 01:13:40,363 --> 01:13:43,037
- Who are you calling a
- skank, you fucking bitch?
- 1407
- 01:13:45,743 --> 01:13:46,915
- Stop it! Stop!
- 1408
- 01:13:47,078 --> 01:13:48,079
- Stop it!
- 1409
- 01:13:49,706 --> 01:13:51,458
- OW! What the fuck?
- 1410
- 01:13:51,624 --> 01:13:53,797
- That's my extension, you bitch!
- 1411
- 01:13:53,960 --> 01:13:55,587
- You motherfucker!
- 1412
- 01:13:55,753 --> 01:13:58,006
- No, Mia! Wait a minute!
- 1413
- 01:13:59,257 --> 01:14:02,227
- By the way,
- I fucked Mario Lopez!
- 1414
- 01:14:06,723 --> 01:14:07,724
- Ooh...
- 1415
- 01:14:10,643 --> 01:14:13,237
- Okay, it's my turn now.
- 1416
- 01:14:13,396 --> 01:14:15,899
- Uh-uh. Not this time.
- 1417
- 01:14:16,065 --> 01:14:17,863
- Wait, what about our deal?
- 1418
- 01:14:18,026 --> 01:14:21,621
- Now you know how it
- feels, Big Stiffy.
- 1419
- 01:14:28,786 --> 01:14:30,129
- Gross!
- 1420
- 01:14:36,280 --> 01:14:37,661
- Fucking yuck!
- 1421
- 01:14:54,181 --> 01:14:57,435
- You didn't actually think I'd
- fall asleep again, did you?
- 1422
- 01:14:57,601 --> 01:14:59,444
- As long as you're mine,
- I'm happy.
- 1423
- 01:14:59,603 --> 01:15:01,321
- Jesus, Kara.
- What are you doing here?
- 1424
- 01:15:01,480 --> 01:15:03,653
- Your creepy friend invited
- me and all my girlfriends.
- 1425
- 01:15:03,815 --> 01:15:06,193
- Nice outfit, by the way.
- Very kinky.
- 1426
- 01:15:07,069 --> 01:15:08,116
- Oh, shit.
- 1427
- 01:15:08,320 --> 01:15:10,539
- Don't worry. I locked it.
- 1428
- 01:15:13,116 --> 01:15:14,413
- Oh, Jesus.
- 1429
- 01:15:18,038 --> 01:15:21,087
- What the hell kind of freaky
- shit is going on in here?
- 1430
- 01:15:21,149 --> 01:15:22,301
- AJ, what are you doing here?
- 1431
- 01:15:22,367 --> 01:15:24,544
- I followed you.
- I had to see it with my own eyes.
- 1432
- 01:15:24,711 --> 01:15:28,341
- First you fuck with my jet ski,
- then you fuck my girlfriend?
- 1433
- 01:15:28,507 --> 01:15:30,760
- No! God, no! Nothing happened.
- 1434
- 01:15:30,926 --> 01:15:32,018
- You're going down, Sandler.
- 1435
- 01:15:32,135 --> 01:15:33,603
- Sandler? What the...
- 1436
- 01:15:33,762 --> 01:15:35,230
- Jesus Christ!
- 1437
- 01:15:37,307 --> 01:15:38,650
- I'm going to kill you!
- 1438
- 01:15:40,477 --> 01:15:42,650
- Jim, what the fuck
- are you wearing?
- 1439
- 01:15:42,813 --> 01:15:45,236
- Hey, I can explain
- everything! Jesus!
- 1440
- 01:15:46,024 --> 01:15:47,071
- - Come on!
- - Shit!
- 1441
- 01:15:47,192 --> 01:15:48,739
- Get up, gimp!
- 1442
- 01:15:48,902 --> 01:15:50,904
- Come on, I'm not
- fighting you, okay?
- 1443
- 01:15:51,029 --> 01:15:52,576
- This is silly. I'm an adult.
- 1444
- 01:15:52,739 --> 01:15:53,786
- Oh, really?
- 1445
- 01:15:53,907 --> 01:15:55,875
- Because to me you look
- like a little bitch pussy.
- 1446
- 01:15:57,035 --> 01:15:58,787
- Don't be a pussy, Jim.
- 1447
- 01:15:58,954 --> 01:16:01,548
- Look, AJ, just calm down, okay?
- 1448
- 01:16:01,706 --> 01:16:04,801
- What makes you little fuckers think you can
- crash one of the Stifmeister's parties?
- 1449
- 01:16:05,502 --> 01:16:08,346
- Did you just refer to yourself
- as "the Stifmeister"?
- 1450
- 01:16:08,505 --> 01:16:11,634
- Because that's the
- lamest name ever!
- 1451
- 01:16:14,219 --> 01:16:16,347
- I'm going to fucking kill you.
- 1452
- 01:16:16,513 --> 01:16:17,480
- Bring it on.
- 1453
- 01:16:17,556 --> 01:16:19,058
- Hey, Steve, come on, this is...
- 1454
- 01:16:24,396 --> 01:16:26,148
- Where do you think
- you're going?
- 1455
- 01:16:31,069 --> 01:16:33,788
- Don't mess with
- the Class of '99, bitch!
- 1456
- 01:16:34,990 --> 01:16:36,162
- Finch!
- 1457
- 01:16:36,825 --> 01:16:37,997
- Don't hurt my friend!
- 1458
- 01:16:52,924 --> 01:16:53,925
- Hey!
- 1459
- 01:16:54,217 --> 01:16:57,266
- Get off my husband,
- you little piece of shit!
- 1460
- 01:17:09,191 --> 01:17:12,195
- Oh, crap! It's the fuzz!
- 1461
- 01:17:12,944 --> 01:17:15,163
- We have to get out.
- How do you get out?
- 1462
- 01:17:15,363 --> 01:17:16,580
- I need an escape route!
- 1463
- 01:17:16,740 --> 01:17:18,333
- Oh, shit!
- 1464
- 01:17:18,450 --> 01:17:19,497
- You want to be with him?
- 1465
- 01:17:19,576 --> 01:17:22,204
- Fine! He's all yours.
- 1466
- 01:17:22,370 --> 01:17:23,792
- Come on, man!
- 1467
- 01:17:25,790 --> 01:17:28,168
- Jim, what's going on?
- 1468
- 01:17:28,335 --> 01:17:30,383
- I am so sorry for all
- of this. I can explain.
- 1469
- 01:17:31,087 --> 01:17:33,385
- Last night I ran into
- Kara, our neighbor.
- 1470
- 01:17:33,590 --> 01:17:36,639
- She was too drunk to drive,
- so I drove her home.
- 1471
- 01:17:36,801 --> 01:17:41,602
- And she started taking off her
- clothes, and touching my...
- 1472
- 01:17:41,932 --> 01:17:45,357
- Okay, I know it doesn't sound
- good, but nothing happened, okay?
- 1473
- 01:17:45,518 --> 01:17:47,612
- I don't care about her at all!
- 1474
- 01:17:47,771 --> 01:17:50,320
- Thanks a lot.
- 1475
- 01:17:50,732 --> 01:17:53,235
- No, no, Kara, wait.
- I didn't mean...
- 1476
- 01:17:53,401 --> 01:17:55,119
- Wait, Michelle.
- Hold on, hold on.
- 1477
- 01:17:55,278 --> 01:17:56,700
- It's not what you think, okay?
- 1478
- 01:17:56,863 --> 01:18:01,369
- I swear, I was just trying to
- do the right thing, and I...
- 1479
- 01:18:01,551 --> 01:18:04,079
- You have to believe
- me, Michelle, please.
- 1480
- 01:18:04,996 --> 01:18:08,125
- Whether I believe you or not,
- 1481
- 01:18:08,333 --> 01:18:09,710
- I'm disappointed.
- 1482
- 01:18:10,126 --> 01:18:12,595
- I'm going to stay
- with my grandmother.
- 1483
- 01:18:12,754 --> 01:18:13,755
- Hold it, Michelle.
- 1484
- 01:18:13,838 --> 01:18:14,839
- No, Jim.
- 1485
- 01:18:15,465 --> 01:18:17,012
- Hey, the fight's over, guys.
- 1486
- 01:18:17,175 --> 01:18:18,597
- We're not here to stop a fight.
- 1487
- 01:18:18,843 --> 01:18:21,187
- We're here about
- that stolen motorcycle.
- 1488
- 01:18:21,346 --> 01:18:23,019
- Looks like the VIN
- numbers match up.
- 1489
- 01:18:23,181 --> 01:18:24,433
- Paul Finch.
- 1490
- 01:18:24,599 --> 01:18:26,351
- You're under arrest.
- 1491
- 01:18:27,686 --> 01:18:28,938
- Awesome!
- 1492
- 01:18:29,271 --> 01:18:30,443
- Excuse me, officer.
- 1493
- 01:18:30,522 --> 01:18:32,798
- He won that bike betting on
- the World Cup in Argentina.
- 1494
- 01:18:32,799 --> 01:18:35,073
- You made some sort of mistake.
- 1495
- 01:18:35,151 --> 01:18:37,119
- - Paul, what's going on?
- - What is this about?
- 1496
- 01:18:37,404 --> 01:18:38,576
- Paul.
- 1497
- 01:18:38,738 --> 01:18:40,035
- Finch, just tell them.
- 1498
- 01:18:40,198 --> 01:18:41,370
- Paul!
- 1499
- 01:18:42,617 --> 01:18:46,121
- Hey, shitbreak, when you're
- getting rammed by your cellmate tonight,
- 1500
- 01:18:46,288 --> 01:18:47,414
- think of Kevin.
- 1501
- 01:18:51,459 --> 01:18:53,461
- Michelle, can I just... Please!
- 1502
- 01:18:57,382 --> 01:18:58,429
- Oh!
- 1503
- 01:18:59,175 --> 01:19:00,222
- Ah!
- 1504
- 01:19:01,094 --> 01:19:02,346
- - Dad?
- - Ah!
- 1505
- 01:19:06,891 --> 01:19:07,892
- Dad?
- 1506
- 01:19:08,810 --> 01:19:10,232
- Dad, what are you doing?
- 1507
- 01:19:10,395 --> 01:19:13,148
- You didn't see me!
- I'm not here!
- 1508
- 01:19:13,315 --> 01:19:14,487
- I'm not here!
- 1509
- 01:19:16,067 --> 01:19:17,239
- Is he all right?
- 1510
- 01:19:17,902 --> 01:19:19,575
- I don't know.
- 1511
- 01:19:20,071 --> 01:19:21,573
- What are we going
- to do about Finch?
- 1512
- 01:19:21,740 --> 01:19:23,993
- Fuck Finch. Let him
- spend the night in jail.
- 1513
- 01:19:24,159 --> 01:19:25,376
- Come on, Stifler!
- 1514
- 01:19:25,452 --> 01:19:26,669
- Some friend you are.
- 1515
- 01:19:28,997 --> 01:19:30,465
- What about you guys?
- 1516
- 01:19:30,665 --> 01:19:33,714
- You don't call me,
- you don't e-mail,
- 1517
- 01:19:33,793 --> 01:19:35,921
- you don't comment
- on my Facebook page.
- 1518
- 01:19:36,004 --> 01:19:38,302
- You guys didn't even let me know you
- were coming back for the reunion.
- 1519
- 01:19:38,465 --> 01:19:41,765
- Because we knew, somehow, you would
- find a way to screw things up.
- 1520
- 01:19:42,260 --> 01:19:43,933
- Oh, I'm sorry, Jim.
- 1521
- 01:19:44,095 --> 01:19:45,688
- I wanted us to have
- a fucking fun time
- 1522
- 01:19:45,764 --> 01:19:47,266
- this weekend,
- like we did in high school.
- 1523
- 01:19:47,432 --> 01:19:49,434
- But we're not in
- high school any more.
- 1524
- 01:19:49,601 --> 01:19:51,103
- You are so trapped
- in the past, Stifler.
- 1525
- 01:19:51,269 --> 01:19:54,318
- When are you going to realize that things
- will never be the way they used to be?
- 1526
- 01:20:01,446 --> 01:20:02,663
- Fine.
- 1527
- 01:20:03,865 --> 01:20:05,663
- Guess the party's over.
- 1528
- 01:20:07,952 --> 01:20:09,204
- Dicks.
- 1529
- 01:20:41,736 --> 01:20:44,034
- Well, that was a great party.
- 1530
- 01:20:44,489 --> 01:20:46,867
- I honestly think I had fun.
- 1531
- 01:20:48,827 --> 01:20:51,546
- Well, that makes one of us.
- 1532
- 01:20:53,873 --> 01:20:55,216
- Have you heard from Michelle?
- 1533
- 01:20:55,375 --> 01:20:58,629
- No. She doesn't
- want to talk to me.
- 1534
- 01:20:58,920 --> 01:21:00,718
- What about the reunion tonight?
- 1535
- 01:21:00,797 --> 01:21:02,925
- She said she may
- or may not come.
- 1536
- 01:21:03,091 --> 01:21:04,889
- What's going on with you two?
- 1537
- 01:21:05,051 --> 01:21:06,598
- Jim, is there anything
- you want to talk about?
- 1538
- 01:21:10,640 --> 01:21:11,812
- Okay.
- 1539
- 01:21:12,559 --> 01:21:13,685
- Um...
- 1540
- 01:21:14,894 --> 01:21:17,488
- How often
- 1541
- 01:21:17,647 --> 01:21:20,992
- did you and Mom...
- 1542
- 01:21:24,154 --> 01:21:25,451
- You know?
- 1543
- 01:21:25,530 --> 01:21:27,624
- Is that what this is about?
- 1544
- 01:21:27,699 --> 01:21:29,542
- You and Michelle
- haven't been...
- 1545
- 01:21:29,701 --> 01:21:31,544
- Not lately, no.
- 1546
- 01:21:31,619 --> 01:21:32,666
- Oh...
- 1547
- 01:21:35,206 --> 01:21:37,049
- Is it
- 1548
- 01:21:37,208 --> 01:21:38,710
- an erectile problem?
- 1549
- 01:21:39,544 --> 01:21:43,890
- Because sometimes you
- can buy a little time
- 1550
- 01:21:44,048 --> 01:21:45,345
- with a well-placed thumb.
- 1551
- 01:21:45,425 --> 01:21:47,302
- Oh, God. I'm just saying.
- 1552
- 01:21:47,385 --> 01:21:49,262
- - I don't think that's it.
- - That's not it?
- 1553
- 01:21:49,554 --> 01:21:54,355
- Oh! That's something to keep in your
- back pocket, because that's a no-fail.
- 1554
- 01:21:54,517 --> 01:21:56,190
- Okay, let's be done with that.
- 1555
- 01:21:56,352 --> 01:21:59,777
- No, things in that
- department were fine.
- 1556
- 01:22:00,982 --> 01:22:03,076
- And then Evan was born
- 1557
- 01:22:03,276 --> 01:22:06,155
- and we kind of stopped.
- 1558
- 01:22:06,404 --> 01:22:10,250
- And they haven't really
- picked up since, you know?
- 1559
- 01:22:11,034 --> 01:22:14,288
- This is not a problem,
- so do not worry.
- 1560
- 01:22:14,412 --> 01:22:16,255
- - You understand?
- - Yeah, listen, Jim.
- 1561
- 01:22:16,414 --> 01:22:17,882
- Before you were born,
- 1562
- 01:22:17,957 --> 01:22:20,927
- your mother and I,
- we would do it every day.
- 1563
- 01:22:21,002 --> 01:22:22,003
- I don't need this.
- 1564
- 01:22:22,086 --> 01:22:24,430
- Sometimes two or
- three times a day.
- 1565
- 01:22:24,506 --> 01:22:28,101
- This is back in the '70s.
- A lot of experimentation was going on.
- 1566
- 01:22:28,301 --> 01:22:33,023
- Your mother favored something she
- called, "diving for dollars."
- 1567
- 01:22:33,264 --> 01:22:36,143
- Holy shit. I'm sorry,
- I don't need...
- 1568
- 01:22:36,826 --> 01:22:38,604
- That's fine, we can...
- 1569
- 01:22:38,770 --> 01:22:40,022
- I don't have to
- go on with that.
- 1570
- 01:22:40,104 --> 01:22:45,577
- But my point is, when you have a
- kid, you become a dad and a mom.
- 1571
- 01:22:45,944 --> 01:22:50,165
- But it's very important not to
- stop being a husband and a wife.
- 1572
- 01:22:50,740 --> 01:22:54,290
- And if you do that,
- the sex will come.
- 1573
- 01:22:56,371 --> 01:22:57,839
- That actually
- makes a lot of sense.
- 1574
- 01:22:57,997 --> 01:23:01,376
- But you can't just wait for
- the two of you to be alone.
- 1575
- 01:23:01,543 --> 01:23:05,013
- You have to make
- your own alone time.
- 1576
- 01:23:05,213 --> 01:23:08,888
- Why do you think you went to
- Hebrew school three times a week?
- 1577
- 01:23:09,050 --> 01:23:13,055
- Sundays, noon to three?
- Tuesdays, four to seven?
- 1578
- 01:23:13,179 --> 01:23:14,476
- Okay, I get it, Dad.
- 1579
- 01:23:14,556 --> 01:23:16,775
- If you get it,
- then why the questions?
- 1580
- 01:23:16,933 --> 01:23:18,025
- I'm sorry.
- 1581
- 01:23:18,101 --> 01:23:20,195
- You're going through this, I am sorry.
- I should be listening.
- 1582
- 01:23:20,353 --> 01:23:23,357
- No, I'm overreacting.
- I'm sorry.
- 1583
- 01:23:27,193 --> 01:23:28,911
- Thank you.
- 1584
- 01:23:29,445 --> 01:23:31,368
- Again. Really.
- 1585
- 01:23:34,784 --> 01:23:36,036
- Anytime.
- 1586
- 01:23:40,873 --> 01:23:42,466
- Welcome, you guys.
- 1587
- 01:23:42,542 --> 01:23:46,092
- Listen, find your nametag, find
- out what table you're sitting at.
- 1588
- 01:23:46,170 --> 01:23:48,423
- Ashley, so good to see you!
- Oh, my God.
- 1589
- 01:23:48,590 --> 01:23:51,639
- Billy! Oh, my God,
- you're looking so svelte.
- 1590
- 01:23:51,801 --> 01:23:54,930
- You used to be morbidly obese.
- I was concerned.
- 1591
- 01:23:55,013 --> 01:23:56,105
- Hey.
- 1592
- 01:23:56,180 --> 01:23:57,272
- Hey, guys.
- 1593
- 01:23:57,348 --> 01:23:59,021
- - Hey, Jim.
- - Oz.
- 1594
- 01:23:59,309 --> 01:24:00,481
- Where is Mia?
- 1595
- 01:24:00,560 --> 01:24:02,688
- She flew out this morning.
- 1596
- 01:24:02,854 --> 01:24:05,198
- Oh. I'm sorry, man.
- 1597
- 01:24:06,024 --> 01:24:07,071
- What about Michelle?
- 1598
- 01:24:08,318 --> 01:24:10,195
- I am not sure yet.
- 1599
- 01:24:10,903 --> 01:24:12,200
- Finch!
- 1600
- 01:24:12,405 --> 01:24:15,750
- What happened? I called the police
- department a thousand times.
- 1601
- 01:24:15,825 --> 01:24:20,706
- I appreciate that, Kevin.
- But my mom, actually, bailed me out.
- 1602
- 01:24:22,457 --> 01:24:23,959
- Guys, I screwed up.
- 1603
- 01:24:24,125 --> 01:24:26,219
- That bike belongs to my boss.
- 1604
- 01:24:26,377 --> 01:24:30,723
- And I was promised a raise,
- and I didn't get it, so I
- 1605
- 01:24:30,840 --> 01:24:32,092
- simply borrowed it.
- 1606
- 01:24:32,884 --> 01:24:35,387
- The truth is that my life
- isn't interesting at all.
- 1607
- 01:24:35,887 --> 01:24:39,892
- I am an assistant manager at a
- Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey.
- 1608
- 01:24:40,141 --> 01:24:43,361
- I lied to my best friends,
- and I'm sorry.
- 1609
- 01:24:44,771 --> 01:24:47,866
- You know, Finch,
- just because you sold out
- 1610
- 01:24:47,940 --> 01:24:50,944
- and got a boring job
- like most of us,
- 1611
- 01:24:51,027 --> 01:24:52,654
- that doesn't mean you
- should be embarrassed.
- 1612
- 01:24:52,737 --> 01:24:55,331
- Yeah, come on, man.
- None of that shit matters.
- 1613
- 01:24:56,407 --> 01:24:57,659
- That means a lot, gentlemen.
- 1614
- 01:24:57,825 --> 01:24:59,202
- What about your arm?
- 1615
- 01:24:59,285 --> 01:25:00,286
- Oh.
- 1616
- 01:25:01,913 --> 01:25:04,666
- I spilled coffee on myself
- while I was driving.
- 1617
- 01:25:04,832 --> 01:25:06,004
- No.
- 1618
- 01:25:06,751 --> 01:25:08,424
- It hurt like a bitch, though.
- 1619
- 01:25:08,544 --> 01:25:11,388
- - I'll bet.
- - Jesus, Finch.
- 1620
- 01:25:11,756 --> 01:25:14,179
- Oh, hey, check this
- out, you guys.
- 1621
- 01:25:15,510 --> 01:25:17,604
- Crazy, huh? Look at us.
- 1622
- 01:25:17,762 --> 01:25:18,934
- A lot of memories.
- 1623
- 01:25:20,932 --> 01:25:22,559
- "Steve Stifler."
- 1624
- 01:25:23,518 --> 01:25:26,442
- "Hopes to keep the party
- going with his boys."
- 1625
- 01:25:30,400 --> 01:25:32,152
- Any sign of him yet?
- 1626
- 01:25:32,318 --> 01:25:34,036
- I don't think
- he's going to show.
- 1627
- 01:25:49,585 --> 01:25:50,802
- Stifler?
- 1628
- 01:25:54,882 --> 01:25:55,974
- How'd you find me?
- 1629
- 01:25:56,134 --> 01:25:57,477
- We asked your mom.
- 1630
- 01:25:58,302 --> 01:26:00,805
- Oh, no. I didn't do anything.
- 1631
- 01:26:02,140 --> 01:26:06,896
- We wanted to apologize
- for what we said last night. We...
- 1632
- 01:26:07,478 --> 01:26:08,479
- We didn't mean it.
- 1633
- 01:26:09,897 --> 01:26:13,822
- Yeah, you did.
- I get it, you guys think I'm a dick.
- 1634
- 01:26:18,489 --> 01:26:20,787
- Okay. Well,
- 1635
- 01:26:21,659 --> 01:26:24,082
- maybe you are kind of a dick.
- 1636
- 01:26:24,996 --> 01:26:26,088
- But,
- 1637
- 01:26:27,081 --> 01:26:28,833
- you're a fun dick.
- 1638
- 01:26:29,000 --> 01:26:32,049
- And you're our dick.
- 1639
- 01:26:32,670 --> 01:26:37,517
- Yeah, man. You were one of the biggest
- reasons that high school was awesome.
- 1640
- 01:26:37,675 --> 01:26:40,349
- Yeah, high school was awesome.
- 1641
- 01:26:40,511 --> 01:26:43,310
- Then we graduated and everybody
- started getting jobs
- 1642
- 01:26:43,473 --> 01:26:45,692
- and getting married
- and having kids
- 1643
- 01:26:45,767 --> 01:26:48,145
- and all that other stupid shit.
- 1644
- 01:26:48,311 --> 01:26:51,986
- Now, look at me.
- I'm the bitch of this place.
- 1645
- 01:26:52,190 --> 01:26:54,158
- Look, Stifler, none of
- our lives are perfect.
- 1646
- 01:26:54,317 --> 01:26:55,534
- Especially mine.
- 1647
- 01:26:56,486 --> 01:27:00,866
- But what do you say we keep this party
- going, and hit up this reunion together?
- 1648
- 01:27:02,700 --> 01:27:04,668
- What the hell is going on here?
- 1649
- 01:27:05,411 --> 01:27:08,915
- Oh, my God.
- This is the jackass.
- 1650
- 01:27:09,332 --> 01:27:11,801
- You're not even close to being
- finished and you're up here
- 1651
- 01:27:11,876 --> 01:27:14,004
- "chilling with your posse"?
- 1652
- 01:27:14,128 --> 01:27:15,345
- Sorry, we can explain.
- 1653
- 01:27:15,505 --> 01:27:16,802
- No, Kevin.
- 1654
- 01:27:18,216 --> 01:27:19,308
- Allow me.
- 1655
- 01:27:19,383 --> 01:27:22,011
- Yeah, Kevin, allow him.
- 1656
- 01:27:22,094 --> 01:27:23,311
- This better be good, Stafler.
- 1657
- 01:27:23,888 --> 01:27:25,890
- It's Stifler, fucker.
- 1658
- 01:27:26,224 --> 01:27:30,229
- Oh, wow.
- Who the hell do you think you are?
- 1659
- 01:27:30,394 --> 01:27:33,898
- Are you acting tough in front
- of your girlfriend? Huh?
- 1660
- 01:27:33,981 --> 01:27:35,983
- Because we both know she's
- only with you for your money.
- 1661
- 01:27:36,818 --> 01:27:38,161
- Definitely not for your dick.
- 1662
- 01:27:38,319 --> 01:27:40,162
- Because anybody that's
- peed next to you
- 1663
- 01:27:40,238 --> 01:27:42,081
- knows it's the size of
- a leprechaun's pinkie.
- 1664
- 01:27:44,108 --> 01:27:46,110
- That's not true.
- 1665
- 01:27:46,193 --> 01:27:49,538
- "That's not
- true." Oh, yeah, it is.
- 1666
- 01:27:50,625 --> 01:27:54,380
- Look, just because you got a fancy
- office and I don't even have a desk
- 1667
- 01:27:54,545 --> 01:27:56,843
- doesn't change
- who we really are.
- 1668
- 01:27:57,006 --> 01:28:00,556
- The truth is,
- you're still a dork,
- 1669
- 01:28:00,718 --> 01:28:02,641
- and I can still kick your ass.
- 1670
- 01:28:03,554 --> 01:28:05,227
- But I'm not going to.
- 1671
- 01:28:05,389 --> 01:28:06,891
- You know why?
- 1672
- 01:28:07,058 --> 01:28:09,026
- Because I'm the
- fucking Stifmeister.
- 1673
- 01:28:09,227 --> 01:28:14,081
- And if you even look at me again.
- I will shit in your briefcase
- 1674
- 01:28:14,502 --> 01:28:15,686
- Dudes?
- 1675
- 01:28:22,147 --> 01:28:25,822
- By the way, I had no clue what I
- was doing with any of this shit,
- 1676
- 01:28:25,984 --> 01:28:28,328
- so you got a lot of work to do.
- 1677
- 01:29:03,021 --> 01:29:04,694
- - Surprise!
- - Hey! You made it.
- 1678
- 01:29:04,856 --> 01:29:06,108
- Of course.
- 1679
- 01:29:06,274 --> 01:29:07,401
- What do you think about
- the Lions this year?
- 1680
- 01:29:07,402 --> 01:29:08,527
- They got a shot?
- 1681
- 01:29:08,693 --> 01:29:11,071
- We'll see if their
- offensive line can hold.
- 1682
- 01:29:11,238 --> 01:29:13,866
- Are you planning on being on
- Celebrity Dance Off: All Stars?
- 1683
- 01:29:14,032 --> 01:29:15,955
- I actually haven't
- thought much about that.
- 1684
- 01:29:16,118 --> 01:29:18,166
- You should think about it.
- 1685
- 01:29:22,791 --> 01:29:26,136
- I'm sorry, guys,
- you'll have to excuse me.
- 1686
- 01:29:30,715 --> 01:29:32,058
- Can I cut in?
- 1687
- 01:29:32,634 --> 01:29:35,228
- I don't know.
- Can you promise to keep your shirt on?
- 1688
- 01:29:36,096 --> 01:29:38,895
- Come on, buddy, I'm busting balls.
- Huh?
- 1689
- 01:29:38,974 --> 01:29:41,068
- Yeah, of course.
- 1690
- 01:29:41,393 --> 01:29:42,736
- I'll get us some drinks.
- 1691
- 01:29:42,811 --> 01:29:43,937
- Okay.
- 1692
- 01:29:45,730 --> 01:29:48,279
- Hey.
- 1693
- 01:29:49,317 --> 01:29:51,615
- Shouldn't you be dancing
- with your girlfriend?
- 1694
- 01:29:51,778 --> 01:29:52,779
- Uh...
- 1695
- 01:29:53,905 --> 01:29:57,079
- Mia and I are over.
- 1696
- 01:29:58,577 --> 01:30:03,253
- She wanted me
- to be someone else.
- 1697
- 01:30:03,790 --> 01:30:07,465
- Something that I
- don't want to be.
- 1698
- 01:30:08,587 --> 01:30:10,760
- What do you want, Chris?
- 1699
- 01:30:11,256 --> 01:30:13,600
- Heather, I want this.
- 1700
- 01:30:14,009 --> 01:30:15,306
- I want us.
- 1701
- 01:30:16,761 --> 01:30:20,265
- What about your career? LA?
- 1702
- 01:30:20,432 --> 01:30:23,732
- Look, I know that it's crazy.
- 1703
- 01:30:23,894 --> 01:30:28,650
- And I don't have all the answers
- right now, but I see you,
- 1704
- 01:30:30,025 --> 01:30:31,493
- and I just know
- 1705
- 01:30:32,736 --> 01:30:33,908
- I want you.
- 1706
- 01:30:35,447 --> 01:30:36,573
- I love you.
- 1707
- 01:30:37,782 --> 01:30:39,159
- I love you.
- 1708
- 01:30:46,124 --> 01:30:47,216
- So, I'm skiing down a mountain.
- 1709
- 01:30:47,292 --> 01:30:48,635
- Guy has a heart
- attack right there.
- 1710
- 01:30:48,793 --> 01:30:51,672
- Saved his life.
- It was a big story, you can Google it.
- 1711
- 01:30:51,838 --> 01:30:52,964
- Yeah, it was.
- 1712
- 01:30:53,131 --> 01:30:54,474
- I bet.
- 1713
- 01:30:55,467 --> 01:30:57,640
- Holy shit! Excuse me.
- 1714
- 01:30:57,802 --> 01:31:00,225
- Hey, excuse me.
- What the hell is going on?
- 1715
- 01:31:00,639 --> 01:31:01,765
- Ron, I can explain.
- 1716
- 01:31:01,848 --> 01:31:03,225
- Seriously, this guy?
- 1717
- 01:31:03,391 --> 01:31:05,644
- I'm a fucking heart surgeon,
- this guy's not even on ESPN.
- 1718
- 01:31:05,810 --> 01:31:07,608
- Hey, take it easy, Ron.
- 1719
- 01:31:07,771 --> 01:31:10,115
- What are you going to do?
- Hit me, Oz? Huh?
- 1720
- 01:31:10,273 --> 01:31:13,197
- Oh, I got an idea.
- What about a dance-off? Huh?
- 1721
- 01:31:14,152 --> 01:31:16,996
- This isn't a reality show, okay?
- This is the real world.
- 1722
- 01:31:17,155 --> 01:31:20,500
- You take one swing at me, I will
- sue you for all you're worth.
- 1723
- 01:31:24,955 --> 01:31:27,424
- I'm not worth jack shit, Dron.
- 1724
- 01:31:30,001 --> 01:31:31,218
- I'm your dick.
- 1725
- 01:31:34,214 --> 01:31:35,261
- Dropped him!
- 1726
- 01:31:35,340 --> 01:31:36,341
- That was awesome!
- 1727
- 01:31:36,508 --> 01:31:38,681
- Listen, we had a blast
- the other night.
- 1728
- 01:31:39,844 --> 01:31:42,313
- Have you ever thought about
- being a party planner?
- 1729
- 01:31:42,847 --> 01:31:45,270
- Because we want you
- to plan our wedding.
- 1730
- 01:31:45,350 --> 01:31:46,897
- Say yes.
- 1731
- 01:31:47,894 --> 01:31:49,862
- Yeah, yeah! I'd love to.
- 1732
- 01:31:49,938 --> 01:31:51,736
- Nice! Oh, my God.
- 1733
- 01:31:51,898 --> 01:31:53,616
- Thanks! This is great, man.
- 1734
- 01:31:53,775 --> 01:31:56,403
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you, bro.
- 1735
- 01:31:56,569 --> 01:31:58,037
- - You're welcome.
- - Thank you.
- 1736
- 01:32:03,827 --> 01:32:04,919
- I have to tell you something.
- 1737
- 01:32:04,995 --> 01:32:06,121
- You don't have to explain.
- 1738
- 01:32:06,705 --> 01:32:11,051
- Look, Paul, I didn't like you
- because you climbed the Alps,
- 1739
- 01:32:11,209 --> 01:32:13,211
- or killed a camel
- with your bare hands.
- 1740
- 01:32:13,545 --> 01:32:16,048
- I liked you because you were
- still the same good guy
- 1741
- 01:32:16,131 --> 01:32:18,384
- that was actually nice
- to me in high school.
- 1742
- 01:32:19,009 --> 01:32:20,261
- I'm still that guy.
- 1743
- 01:32:20,677 --> 01:32:22,395
- I really am.
- 1744
- 01:32:23,138 --> 01:32:25,857
- You know, the last time I
- was here was for prom.
- 1745
- 01:32:27,100 --> 01:32:28,397
- I didn't have a date.
- 1746
- 01:32:28,476 --> 01:32:29,728
- Neither did I.
- 1747
- 01:32:32,397 --> 01:32:33,523
- I have to get a drink.
- 1748
- 01:32:33,648 --> 01:32:35,150
- What?
- 1749
- 01:32:35,317 --> 01:32:36,364
- Was my dancing that bad?
- 1750
- 01:32:36,443 --> 01:32:37,490
- Yeah.
- 1751
- 01:32:37,902 --> 01:32:39,575
- Kev! Hey!
- 1752
- 01:32:39,654 --> 01:32:40,655
- Hey, Jess!
- 1753
- 01:32:40,739 --> 01:32:42,537
- Wow. Look, you have a beard!
- It looks great.
- 1754
- 01:32:42,615 --> 01:32:44,583
- - Thanks.
- - I'm kidding.
- 1755
- 01:32:44,701 --> 01:32:47,079
- Let's just get this out of the way.
- 1756
- 01:32:47,245 --> 01:32:48,872
- I'm a lesbian now, and
- 1757
- 01:32:48,873 --> 01:32:50,499
- this is my girlfriend.
- This is Ingrid.
- 1758
- 01:32:50,665 --> 01:32:52,383
- - Good to meet you.
- - Nice to meet you, too.
- 1759
- 01:32:52,542 --> 01:32:55,216
- Lesbians? I knew it!
- 1760
- 01:32:55,295 --> 01:32:57,093
- Why don't you guys
- make out and prove it.
- 1761
- 01:32:57,255 --> 01:33:00,350
- You must be Stifler.
- I've heard a lot about you. Ow!
- 1762
- 01:33:00,425 --> 01:33:01,893
- Mostly negative.
- 1763
- 01:33:02,093 --> 01:33:04,187
- Cool, dude. What the fuck?
- 1764
- 01:33:04,262 --> 01:33:06,105
- Jessica, it's good to see you.
- 1765
- 01:33:06,222 --> 01:33:07,348
- No, it wasn't.
- 1766
- 01:33:07,432 --> 01:33:08,558
- What the...
- 1767
- 01:33:09,017 --> 01:33:11,770
- Look, Kev, I think you
- should go talk to Vicky.
- 1768
- 01:33:12,020 --> 01:33:14,114
- She's really upset over there.
- 1769
- 01:33:14,939 --> 01:33:17,033
- Yeah, thanks.
- 1770
- 01:33:17,108 --> 01:33:18,485
- Nice to meet you.
- 1771
- 01:33:18,568 --> 01:33:20,787
- Be a real man,
- you have a beard now.
- 1772
- 01:33:24,741 --> 01:33:26,709
- Kevin, don't. I'm fine.
- 1773
- 01:33:26,868 --> 01:33:30,463
- Come on.
- I was a complete jerk last night.
- 1774
- 01:33:30,622 --> 01:33:33,501
- I was just upset that you would
- think that I would do that
- 1775
- 01:33:33,666 --> 01:33:35,293
- knowing that you're married.
- 1776
- 01:33:35,835 --> 01:33:37,508
- I know you wouldn't.
- 1777
- 01:33:37,670 --> 01:33:41,265
- Honestly, that was more
- about me being nervous.
- 1778
- 01:33:42,342 --> 01:33:46,438
- Seeing you again, all these
- old feelings came up, and...
- 1779
- 01:33:46,596 --> 01:33:49,315
- I don't know, I guess
- I just felt guilty.
- 1780
- 01:33:50,183 --> 01:33:54,359
- But the fact that I still
- have feelings for you
- 1781
- 01:33:54,521 --> 01:33:57,274
- just means that what
- we had was special.
- 1782
- 01:33:57,440 --> 01:33:59,317
- Don't get me wrong, all right.
- 1783
- 01:33:59,484 --> 01:34:02,784
- I love Ellie
- more than anything.
- 1784
- 01:34:02,946 --> 01:34:05,449
- But no matter
- how much time passes
- 1785
- 01:34:06,199 --> 01:34:08,167
- you'll always be my first love.
- 1786
- 01:34:11,204 --> 01:34:12,330
- And you'll always be mine.
- 1787
- 01:34:12,997 --> 01:34:14,044
- - Kev.
- - Hey.
- 1788
- 01:34:14,207 --> 01:34:16,175
- You have to try these
- cupcakes, they're awesome.
- 1789
- 01:34:16,251 --> 01:34:18,379
- Ellie, this is Vicky.
- 1790
- 01:34:18,628 --> 01:34:22,883
- Oh, my God! The Vicky?
- Kevin has told me so much about you.
- 1791
- 01:34:23,007 --> 01:34:26,011
- You're a really lucky girl.
- He's a great guy.
- 1792
- 01:34:27,262 --> 01:34:28,980
- - Come dance with us.
- - No, it's okay.
- 1793
- 01:34:29,139 --> 01:34:31,892
- Yes, come on, this is
- happening. Come on.
- 1794
- 01:35:11,556 --> 01:35:12,603
- Hey.
- 1795
- 01:35:13,641 --> 01:35:14,642
- Hey.
- 1796
- 01:35:18,062 --> 01:35:19,188
- My name's Jim.
- 1797
- 01:35:20,148 --> 01:35:23,322
- We were in Mr. Lee's
- English class together.
- 1798
- 01:35:23,568 --> 01:35:24,615
- Really?
- 1799
- 01:35:25,403 --> 01:35:29,579
- Yeah, I...
- Sorry, I don't remember you.
- 1800
- 01:35:29,782 --> 01:35:30,908
- Okay.
- 1801
- 01:35:32,118 --> 01:35:35,622
- I was the kid who everyone
- saw on the Internet.
- 1802
- 01:35:35,997 --> 01:35:36,998
- Mmm.
- 1803
- 01:35:37,081 --> 01:35:40,301
- Sorry, you're going to
- have to be more specific.
- 1804
- 01:35:40,460 --> 01:35:42,133
- I pre-ejaculated twice.
- 1805
- 01:35:42,253 --> 01:35:43,755
- Oh, Jim Levenstein! Right!
- 1806
- 01:35:43,838 --> 01:35:46,307
- Levenstein.
- Yeah, Jim Levenstein.
- 1807
- 01:35:46,466 --> 01:35:48,969
- Now I remember. Yeah.
- 1808
- 01:35:49,844 --> 01:35:52,267
- So, how have you been
- since high school?
- 1809
- 01:35:52,639 --> 01:35:55,438
- Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good.
- Let's see.
- 1810
- 01:35:55,767 --> 01:35:56,768
- Um...
- 1811
- 01:35:57,268 --> 01:35:58,269
- Oh!
- 1812
- 01:36:00,939 --> 01:36:03,442
- I married the most wonderful
- woman in the world.
- 1813
- 01:36:05,735 --> 01:36:07,453
- And we have
- the cutest kid ever.
- 1814
- 01:36:08,821 --> 01:36:11,950
- It sounds like
- things are perfect.
- 1815
- 01:36:12,784 --> 01:36:15,628
- I'm willing to do whatever
- it takes to make it perfect.
- 1816
- 01:36:16,871 --> 01:36:21,047
- And that means being the
- sexiest husband possible.
- 1817
- 01:36:21,960 --> 01:36:23,086
- Really?
- 1818
- 01:36:23,836 --> 01:36:25,179
- Michelle, you look beautiful.
- 1819
- 01:36:25,547 --> 01:36:28,016
- Oh, thanks.
- 1820
- 01:36:29,342 --> 01:36:30,810
- Would you like to dance?
- 1821
- 01:36:31,386 --> 01:36:32,683
- I'd love to.
- 1822
- 01:36:48,319 --> 01:36:49,320
- Whoo!
- 1823
- 01:36:54,075 --> 01:36:55,247
- Stifler.
- 1824
- 01:36:55,493 --> 01:36:58,087
- Sherman? The Sherminator?
- 1825
- 01:36:58,621 --> 01:37:00,339
- What the fuck
- have you been up to?
- 1826
- 01:37:00,498 --> 01:37:02,876
- Married. Had a kid.
- 1827
- 01:37:03,042 --> 01:37:04,760
- And divorced.
- 1828
- 01:37:05,169 --> 01:37:07,718
- Oh! I'm sorry.
- 1829
- 01:37:07,880 --> 01:37:09,052
- Yeah, I'm sure you are.
- 1830
- 01:37:09,132 --> 01:37:12,181
- But, you know what, at least I
- got to keep little Furlong.
- 1831
- 01:37:13,344 --> 01:37:15,472
- You named your kid
- after Eddie Furlong?
- 1832
- 01:37:15,847 --> 01:37:17,190
- Yes, I did. You know why?
- 1833
- 01:37:17,348 --> 01:37:20,397
- Because Terminator 2 is still
- the greatest film ever made.
- 1834
- 01:37:21,019 --> 01:37:24,523
- Dude, you need
- to get banged bad.
- 1835
- 01:37:24,548 --> 01:37:28,461
- I'm gonna help you out. Your cock can
- thank me later. What do you say?
- 1836
- 01:37:29,314 --> 01:37:32,219
- No no. See I'm not going
- to fall for that again.
- 1837
- 01:37:32,609 --> 01:37:33,696
- Come on.
- 1838
- 01:37:33,697 --> 01:37:35,982
- I know I was a bit of
- a jerk back in the day
- 1839
- 01:37:35,983 --> 01:37:38,045
- but I've grown up
- a lot since then.
- 1840
- 01:37:38,320 --> 01:37:40,862
- Please. Let me help you out.
- 1841
- 01:37:46,230 --> 01:37:52,435
- Sigh. I'm just messing with you.
- Get over here you little rascal.
- 1842
- 01:37:53,161 --> 01:37:55,791
- Hey let's find you some
- puss-puss. Let's go.
- 1843
- 01:38:02,209 --> 01:38:03,269
- Okay, we have
- to get out of here.
- 1844
- 01:38:03,357 --> 01:38:04,894
- - It's about time.
- - Yeah.
- 1845
- 01:38:10,183 --> 01:38:11,400
- It's a lost cause.
- 1846
- 01:38:11,476 --> 01:38:14,229
- All these women are either
- married or came with dates.
- 1847
- 01:38:15,647 --> 01:38:16,300
- Hey, Loni.
- 1848
- 01:38:16,301 --> 01:38:21,045
- Dude, how would you like
- to have your world blown?
- 1849
- 01:38:31,457 --> 01:38:33,926
- Hasta la vista, Stifler.
- 1850
- 01:38:38,970 --> 01:38:42,645
- Great, everybody's
- getting laid but me.
- 1851
- 01:38:42,807 --> 01:38:43,704
- This sucks.
- 1852
- 01:38:44,267 --> 01:38:45,165
- Excuse me.
- 1853
- 01:38:46,437 --> 01:38:48,314
- - Hi.
- - Hi.
- 1854
- 01:38:48,481 --> 01:38:51,530
- I'm looking for Paul Finch.
- Have you seen him anywhere?
- 1855
- 01:38:51,593 --> 01:38:53,311
- What do you want with Finch?
- 1856
- 01:38:53,469 --> 01:38:56,564
- I'm here to pick him up.
- I'm his mom.
- 1857
- 01:39:00,101 --> 01:39:01,318
- Finch has a mom?
- 1858
- 01:39:03,605 --> 01:39:06,609
- I mean, you're Finch's mom?
- 1859
- 01:39:07,442 --> 01:39:09,786
- Yeah. Are you a friend of his?
- 1860
- 01:39:09,944 --> 01:39:11,036
- Oh, yeah.
- 1861
- 01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:13,702
- Paul is like my best friend.
- 1862
- 01:39:13,865 --> 01:39:18,120
- I love him so much.
- More now than ever before.
- 1863
- 01:39:18,286 --> 01:39:21,665
- In fact, I can't believe we
- haven't met. I'm Steven Stifler.
- 1864
- 01:39:24,584 --> 01:39:25,710
- I'm Rachel.
- 1865
- 01:39:27,545 --> 01:39:29,593
- What? What is it?
- 1866
- 01:39:29,756 --> 01:39:33,511
- I just got this feeling like something
- really bad is about to happen.
- 1867
- 01:39:33,676 --> 01:39:38,557
- Don't worry.
- I'll be as quiet as a church mouse.
- 1868
- 01:39:43,144 --> 01:39:44,236
- Oh, Jim!
- 1869
- 01:39:48,274 --> 01:39:49,321
- Oh!
- 1870
- 01:39:51,736 --> 01:39:52,737
- I want you so bad.
- 1871
- 01:39:52,820 --> 01:39:54,493
- Oh, you have no idea!
- 1872
- 01:39:55,323 --> 01:39:57,371
- Oh, God! Oh, God!
- 1873
- 01:39:57,533 --> 01:40:01,083
- Oh, God, there it is.
- I don't think I can hold it any more.
- 1874
- 01:40:01,162 --> 01:40:02,163
- Hold it in!
- 1875
- 01:40:02,246 --> 01:40:04,294
- I'm sorry, I will.
- 1876
- 01:40:04,415 --> 01:40:05,587
- I just forgot
- how awesome this is.
- 1877
- 01:40:05,708 --> 01:40:07,881
- Oh, yeah, I need this.
- 1878
- 01:40:10,672 --> 01:40:13,346
- Oh, God, Michelle!
- Fuck, I love you!
- 1879
- 01:40:13,424 --> 01:40:14,676
- Jim?
- 1880
- 01:40:16,761 --> 01:40:17,762
- Nadia?
- 1881
- 01:40:19,972 --> 01:40:20,973
- Hey.
- 1882
- 01:40:21,816 --> 01:40:24,990
- I'm sorry. You are busy, yes?
- 1883
- 01:40:25,820 --> 01:40:26,912
- - No.
- - Yes.
- 1884
- 01:40:26,988 --> 01:40:28,160
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- 1885
- 01:40:28,823 --> 01:40:31,827
- Nadia, it's so nice to see you.
- 1886
- 01:40:32,202 --> 01:40:34,876
- But do you think you
- could give us a minute?
- 1887
- 01:40:35,038 --> 01:40:36,005
- Three.
- 1888
- 01:40:36,080 --> 01:40:37,081
- Three minutes.
- 1889
- 01:40:37,248 --> 01:40:40,878
- Okay! So nice you
- are still together.
- 1890
- 01:40:40,960 --> 01:40:41,961
- Aw!
- 1891
- 01:40:42,045 --> 01:40:44,423
- And I see you've gotten
- much better at this.
- 1892
- 01:40:45,131 --> 01:40:47,384
- Well, thanks.
- 1893
- 01:40:52,263 --> 01:40:54,812
- That's Jim?
- He looks nothing like me.
- 1894
- 01:40:56,643 --> 01:41:01,774
- You know, when I was in high
- school, I dated a lacrosse player.
- 1895
- 01:41:02,023 --> 01:41:03,900
- In fact, I dated a few of them.
- 1896
- 01:41:04,067 --> 01:41:06,069
- You don't say.
- 1897
- 01:41:06,236 --> 01:41:09,410
- I always wanted Paul
- to be more into sports.
- 1898
- 01:41:09,572 --> 01:41:12,291
- But he was never
- that interested.
- 1899
- 01:41:12,784 --> 01:41:14,457
- You don't have to sugarcoat it.
- 1900
- 01:41:14,619 --> 01:41:15,962
- Finch was a klutz.
- 1901
- 01:41:18,456 --> 01:41:21,380
- Yeah, I guess he was, but he
- did not get that from me.
- 1902
- 01:41:21,584 --> 01:41:24,463
- I was head cheerleader.
- 1903
- 01:41:24,796 --> 01:41:27,800
- And if there's anything I
- learned from lacrosse players,
- 1904
- 01:41:27,966 --> 01:41:31,516
- it's that I like
- to handle a stick
- 1905
- 01:41:33,179 --> 01:41:35,728
- and cradle those balls.
- 1906
- 01:41:38,977 --> 01:41:40,194
- I love you.
- 1907
- 01:41:41,145 --> 01:41:43,443
- Are you ready for me, Stifler?
- 1908
- 01:41:47,902 --> 01:41:49,154
- Oh, yeah!
- 1909
- 01:41:50,738 --> 01:41:52,331
- Let's go.
- 1910
- 01:41:52,890 --> 01:41:54,413
- Oh, Michelle.
- 1911
- 01:41:54,576 --> 01:41:56,499
- Oh, God, Michelle.
- 1912
- 01:41:57,078 --> 01:41:59,501
- You are amazing!
- 1913
- 01:41:59,872 --> 01:42:01,340
- Better than the bathtub?
- 1914
- 01:42:01,416 --> 01:42:02,463
- Much.
- 1915
- 01:42:04,252 --> 01:42:05,879
- Better than this?
- 1916
- 01:42:06,337 --> 01:42:07,429
- Ooh!
- 1917
- 01:42:10,758 --> 01:42:12,260
- Of course.
- 1918
- 01:42:13,761 --> 01:42:15,684
- Oh, take those off!
- 1919
- 01:42:15,847 --> 01:42:17,144
- We shouldn't
- be doing this.
- 1920
- 01:42:17,307 --> 01:42:18,099
- Yes, we should.
- 1921
- 01:42:18,474 --> 01:42:20,317
- Oh, Stifler.
- 1922
- 01:42:20,476 --> 01:42:22,023
- Oh, Finch's mom!
- 1923
- 01:42:23,521 --> 01:42:24,864
- Call me the Stifmeister!
- 1924
- 01:42:25,023 --> 01:42:27,446
- Yeah, you are the Stifmeister.
- 1925
- 01:42:28,943 --> 01:42:30,195
- MILF?
- 1926
- 01:42:36,868 --> 01:42:38,461
- Oh, Finch's mom!
- 1927
- 01:42:38,703 --> 01:42:39,750
- MILF.
- 1928
- 01:42:41,331 --> 01:42:42,378
- MILF.
- 1929
- 01:42:46,127 --> 01:42:47,470
- Tell me I'm the best.
- 1930
- 01:42:47,545 --> 01:42:49,218
- You are the best!
- 1931
- 01:42:50,048 --> 01:42:51,095
- MILF.
- 1932
- 01:42:52,342 --> 01:42:53,719
- - MILF.
- - MILF.
- 1933
- 01:42:55,345 --> 01:42:56,562
- Oh, Finch's mom!
- 1934
- 01:42:57,180 --> 01:43:02,186
- MILF! MILF! MILF!
- 1935
- 01:43:04,562 --> 01:43:06,030
- Yes! Yes!
- 1936
- 01:43:06,105 --> 01:43:07,527
- Oh, your
- son's such a dork!
- 1937
- 01:43:07,607 --> 01:43:09,530
- Stop talking about him!
- 1938
- 01:43:11,944 --> 01:43:14,618
- Well, our first reunion
- is officially in the books.
- 1939
- 01:43:14,781 --> 01:43:18,001
- I don't know about you guys, but
- my night ended pretty well.
- 1940
- 01:43:18,159 --> 01:43:19,251
- It was great.
- 1941
- 01:43:19,327 --> 01:43:20,670
- - I had a blast.
- - It was unforgettable.
- 1942
- 01:43:20,745 --> 01:43:22,463
- - Fuck yeah!
- - I jizzed like a racehorse.
- 1943
- 01:43:23,164 --> 01:43:24,837
- What happened to you at the
- end of the night, Stifler?
- 1944
- 01:43:24,916 --> 01:43:26,213
- Who did you end up with?
- 1945
- 01:43:26,292 --> 01:43:29,045
- A gentleman never
- kisses and tells, Jim.
- 1946
- 01:43:31,923 --> 01:43:32,970
- Guys?
- 1947
- 01:43:35,051 --> 01:43:36,928
- I'll be right back, okay?
- 1948
- 01:43:40,848 --> 01:43:41,940
- Kara!
- 1949
- 01:43:48,481 --> 01:43:50,575
- - Hey.
- - Hey...
- 1950
- 01:43:51,359 --> 01:43:54,033
- Look, I'm sorry about
- what I said the other night.
- 1951
- 01:43:54,195 --> 01:43:57,574
- No, I'm the one who
- should be apologizing.
- 1952
- 01:43:57,740 --> 01:43:59,868
- I can't believe the way I acted.
- I'm so embarrassed.
- 1953
- 01:43:59,951 --> 01:44:01,498
- Don't be.
- 1954
- 01:44:01,911 --> 01:44:05,211
- When I was your age I was
- pretty obsessed with sex, too.
- 1955
- 01:44:05,289 --> 01:44:06,381
- I know.
- 1956
- 01:44:07,417 --> 01:44:08,509
- I've seen the YouTube clip.
- 1957
- 01:44:09,001 --> 01:44:11,470
- Oh, of course you did.
- 1958
- 01:44:11,629 --> 01:44:13,848
- But, thanks for understanding.
- 1959
- 01:44:14,006 --> 01:44:16,805
- I was thinking about it,
- and you're right.
- 1960
- 01:44:16,968 --> 01:44:18,595
- I should really wait
- for someone special.
- 1961
- 01:44:20,304 --> 01:44:23,308
- Just, it's going to be tough
- to find a guy as good as you.
- 1962
- 01:44:26,728 --> 01:44:27,820
- I'm sure you will.
- 1963
- 01:44:34,652 --> 01:44:36,746
- I feel like a whole new
- man after this weekend.
- 1964
- 01:44:36,821 --> 01:44:38,289
- Kind of sucks
- we have to leave, though.
- 1965
- 01:44:38,364 --> 01:44:41,493
- Not me. I'm going to take
- some time off my job
- 1966
- 01:44:41,576 --> 01:44:43,419
- and stick around here
- with Heather for a while.
- 1967
- 01:44:43,494 --> 01:44:44,586
- Nice!
- 1968
- 01:44:44,662 --> 01:44:45,788
- What about you, Finch?
- 1969
- 01:44:45,872 --> 01:44:49,092
- Selena and I, we're planning
- a little jaunt to Europe.
- 1970
- 01:44:49,250 --> 01:44:51,844
- Just make sure you call your mom.
- She misses you.
- 1971
- 01:44:52,712 --> 01:44:54,089
- How would you know?
- 1972
- 01:44:55,882 --> 01:44:56,883
- Oh...
- 1973
- 01:45:00,011 --> 01:45:01,934
- I guess this is it, huh?
- Back to reality?
- 1974
- 01:45:02,096 --> 01:45:03,848
- We shouldn't wait
- until the next reunion.
- 1975
- 01:45:04,015 --> 01:45:07,110
- We should try to get
- together every year.
- 1976
- 01:45:07,226 --> 01:45:09,854
- What do you say,
- until next time?
- 1977
- 01:45:09,937 --> 01:45:12,110
- - Until next time.
- - Until next time!
- 1978
- 01:45:21,824 --> 01:45:23,121
- I fucked Finch's mom.
- 1979
- 01:45:23,242 --> 01:45:24,539
- What?
- 1980
- 01:45:24,660 --> 01:45:26,003
- What was that?
- 1981
- 01:46:48,077 --> 01:46:49,078
- Hmm?
- 1982
- 01:46:49,745 --> 01:46:51,122
- What's this?
- 1983
- 01:46:52,456 --> 01:46:54,208
- Oh, no, dear. No, no, no.
- 1984
- 01:46:54,375 --> 01:46:55,718
- No, no, dear. No!
- 1985
- 01:46:56,294 --> 01:46:57,295
- Oh!
- 1986
- 01:47:03,175 --> 01:47:04,176
- Oh...
- 1987
- 01:47:04,927 --> 01:47:07,976
- Oh. Oh. Oh.
- 1988
- 01:47:08,222 --> 01:47:11,567
- Ah. Oh. Oh.
- 1989
- 01:47:11,976 --> 01:47:14,855
- Oh, boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
- 1990
- 01:47:15,062 --> 01:47:17,156
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
- Oh, my God!
- 1991
- 01:47:17,815 --> 01:47:19,408
- Oh! Oh!
- 1992
- 01:47:19,483 --> 01:47:21,531
- Oh, my God!
- 1993
- 01:47:29,287 --> 01:47:30,526
- Great movie.
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