ultimate battletech failure

Weapons fire for Hollander II BZK-F7 (SaladofBlake)
    Heavy Gauss Rifle at Warhammer WHM-6K (Barcode); needs 8, rolls 6 : misses.

Weapons fire for Warhammer WHM-6K (Barcode)
    Particle Cannon at Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel); needs 12, rolls 12 : hits  CT
        Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) takes 10 damage to CT. 15 Armor remaining.

Weapons fire for Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel)
    Large Laser at Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether); needs 9, rolls 6 : misses.
    LRM 5 at Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether); needs 13, rolls 4 : misses.
    LRM 5 at Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether); needs 13, rolls 11 : misses.
    Medium Laser at Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether); needs 9, rolls 6 : misses.
    Medium Laser at Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether); needs 9, rolls 8 : misses.
    Medium Laser at Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether); needs 9, rolls 8 : misses.
    Medium Laser at Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether); needs 9, rolls 9 : hits  CT
        Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether) takes 5 damage to CT. 13 Armor remaining.

Weapons fire for Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether)
    LB 10-X AC at Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel); needs 7, rolls 2 : misses.
    SRM 4 at Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel); needs 8, rolls 7 : misses.
    Medium Laser at Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel); needs 8, rolls 10 : hits  CT
        Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) takes 5 damage to CT. 10 Armor remaining.
    Medium Laser at Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel); needs 8, rolls 5 : misses.

Hollander II BZK-F7 (SaladofBlake) must make 1 piloting skill roll(s) (fired HeavyGauss unbraced).
The base target is 5 [5 (Base piloting skill)].
    Roll #1, (5 (Base piloting skill) - 1 (fired HeavyGauss unbraced)); needs 4, rolls 10 : succeeds.

Barcode: needs 12, rolls 12
Barcode: eat shit
SaladofBlake: fuck I'm still unbraced
Barcode: what couldp ossibly happen
Barcode: backflip?
Zeether: cool firing jack
SaladofBlake: haha
SaladofBlake: did you seriously
SaladofBlake: miss every thingle hit
Barcode: except for juan medium laser.
SaladofBlake: that's samazing
SaladofBlake: you seriously missed with 6 weapons
JackMackerel: Yeah. >:C

Physical Attack Phase
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<nothing>


Heat Phase
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Bushwacker MC-W (Zeether) gains 13 heat, sinks 13 heat and is now at 0 heat.
Warhammer WHM-6K (Barcode) gains 11 heat, sinks 11 heat and is now at 0 heat.
Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) gains 26 heat, sinks 14 heat and is now at 24 heat.
Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) needs a 8+ to avoid shutdown, rolls 11 : avoids successfully!
Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) needs a 6+ to avoid ammo explosion, rolls 4 : fails to avoid explosion.

            *** LRM 5 Ammo EXPLODES!  90 DAMAGE! ***
        Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) suffers catastrophic damage, but the autoeject system was engaged.
            Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) must make a piloting skill check (landing in clear terrain).
                Needs 1 [2 (ejecting) + 1 (automatic ejection) - 2 (landing in clear terrain)], rolls 5 : succeeds.
                    The pilot ejects safely!

*** Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) DESTROYED by ejection! ***
        Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) takes 90 damage to RT. <<<SECTION DESTROYED>>>,<<<LIMB BLOWN OFF>>> Right Arm blown off.
        77 damage transfers to CT.
         Critical hit on RT. Roll is 4; no effect.
        Lineholder KW1-LH2 (JackMackerel) takes 77 damage to CT. <<<SECTION DESTROYED>>>,
         Critical hit on CT. Roll is 6; no effect.

Hollander II BZK-F7 (SaladofBlake) gains 4 heat, sinks 4 heat and is now at 0 heat.

Control Rolls
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End Phase
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JackMackerel: I don't know why.
SaladofBlake: oh shit
JackMackerel: Medium laser gave me a 26% percent, and I'm like "why.jpg"
Zeether: AAHAHAHAHAHAH
Barcode: wait.
Barcode: WAIT
Zeether: OH GOD
Barcode: yesyes.avi
Zeether: JACK DIED
JackMackerel: >:C
SaladofBlake: I'm screwed
Zeether: OH GOD
Zeether: lol jack you dumb shit
SaladofBlake: you probably shouldn't have alpha'd
Zeether: you fired every laser
Zeether: they all missed
Barcode: lasers: horrible for heat buildup.
SaladofBlake: I'm probably dead