Martini 9

>you are Martini, a light green fluffy pony with a darker green mane
>you are a happy pony. you have a place to live and you get to give special hugs to pretty mares
>you get nummies every day and sometimes you get special treats
>BIG MAN and Frank-who-you-never-see take care of you and a bunch of other fluffy ponies
>you were scared last night because the loud noise and the bright light came
>the other fluffies were scared, too. you could smell poopies in The Room
>BIG MAN finally came into The Room and brought the Pretend Yellow Sky Balls back
>he doesn’t like it when the fluffies don’t make their poopies in the litter box
>”GODDAM IT! You lazy little fuckers shit on your blankets? The fucking litter box is a foot away!”
>”fwuffy no smew gud.”
>”Yeah, no kidding, Icicle.”
>it takes BIG MAN a while to gather up the dirty blankies and clean up the poopie.
>”umph.”
>”Zuh?”
>”mmpph bwoobewwwy mmph wegs… mmph…”
>blueberry lost her front legs. she pushes herself around with her back legs but since her belly got big it’s harder for her
>”Fall over again, Blueberry? I’ll have to get you some wheels.”
>”mmph.”
>”You can say that again.”
>BIG MAN sits blueberry upright. she plops over again.
>”Hmmm. Well, one thing’s for sure. You’re not crapping on your blanket, too.”
>BIG MAN takes blueberry from her cage and holds her over the trash can. he squeezes her belly and poopies come out
>”Getting pretty big… time for babies soon.”
>”bwuebewwy no wan babehs!”
>”You say that like you have a choice, sweetheart.”
>BIG MAN plops blueberry back in her cage. she falls over into her food dish.
>”Meh. Fix yourself, stupid.”


>BIG MAN checks prism. she’s a beautiful white fluffy unicorn with a rainbow mane. she’s the prettiest mare you’ve ever seen.
>”How you doing, honey… I… WHAT THE FUCK.”
>you scamper up to your cage door to see what’s excited BIG MAN. he looks mad.
>”Jesus Christ, Prism, did you have your foals last night? WHAT THE FUCK?”
>”pwism huwty bad pwace. make poopies when bad sound an light come.”
>”The fuck you did! You had your babies last night! Jesus!”
>BIG MAN grabs blueberry and puts her in with beauty and icicle.
>”You girls be nice to her.”
>”okay, bigman, icicwle and bweauty be nice wit bwuebewwy!”
>”Shuddup!”
>BIG MAN tosses prism onto The Table and takes out two foals. one of them is mewling for its mommy, the other one doesn’t move
>you hope it’s okay!
>”Jesus, Prism, you didn’t even clean them. This one’s fucking DEAD. You crushed it, stupid! You crushed your baby!”
>”pwism no wan babehs! pwism no wike special hugs!”
>”I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU WANT! YOU TAKE CARE OF THIS FOAL, PRISM!”
>BIG MAN’s loud voice scares prism even more but she starts to clean the mewling baby. BIG MAN stares at her the whole time.
>”That’s enough. Now you feed it. You feed it until it’s full. And you don’t make a sound or I will whip your ass!”
>prism’s lip quivers and she turns away from BIG MAN but she lets the foal drink her milk

>”And this one… you better hope this never happens again.”
>BIG MAN drops the other baby in the trash.
>”Hey, man… what’s up?”
>”Oh, hey Frank. Prism had her babies overnight.”
>”That’s great! How do they look?”
>”Stupid ass crushed one against the side of the cage overnight. Other one looks good.
>”Ah. Too bad.”
>”It’s green like martini but with a tri-colored mane and tail. Light green, dark green and cream.”
>”Well, one out of two ain’t bad.”
>”Oh, shit… I almost forgot… I picked up a few fluffies this morning. Hold on.”

>BIG MAN leaves The Room and comes back with four dirty fluffy ponies. he puts them on The Table.
>”Looked like their entire herd got electrocuted by a fallen power line. These ones were far enough away they didn’t take the hit.”
>”How they look?”
>”Just a sec.”
>The fluffies sit on the table nervously. One of them tries to skitter to the edge.
>”Oh, no no no. You sit right there, bucko.”
>”no! me smawty fwend! me no lissen to hooman!”
>a brown pegasus stomps its little feet at BIG MAN and flutters its wings rapidly.
>BIG MAN sighs. he hates smarties. so do you.
>”me smawty, too! me no fraid of hooman!”
>this smarty is a black unicorn pony. it puffs up its cheeks and blows a raspberry at BIG MAN
>”I’ll be damned… two smarties.”
>”What’d you bring back smarties for? Shoulda tossed them in with the power line.”
>”I didn’t know! I just scooped the little shits up and threw them in my trunk!”
>”Take care of them.”
>”Hmmm… got an idea I wanna try.”
>”Not afraid of me, huh, blackie? Okay. Let’s try something.”
>BIG MAN puts the other two fluffies in a box.
>”why dawk? why punish fwuffy? man go way?”
>”Shaddup.”
>BIG MAN gets out the Big Cutter. it makes fluffy’s heads disappear.
>BIG MAN holds down the brown pegasus. it tries to skitter away.
>”You watching this, blackie?”
>”bwackie smawty no wike hooman! smawty donn hafta listen…”
>BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down on the pegasus’ legs. it screams.
>”OWIES! WEGGIES HUWTY! OWIEEEEEES!”
>the black unicorn stops talking. his eyes are wide with fear.
>”You going to be a good boy, Blackie?”
>”buh… bwackie smawty use magic on hooman! you no huwty fwuffy…”
>”Oh. Allow me to retort.”
>BIG MAN slams the Big Cutter down on the brown pegasus’ front legs. it screams again.
>”WEGGIES! PWEASE NO MO HUWTY! NO MO WANNA BE SMAWTY!”
>”So… Blackie… you going to be a good boy?”
>the unicorn looks into the eys of the pegasus. the pegasus seems to be silently pleading with it
>”but… bwackie fwuffy is smawt fwuffy…”
>”Wrong answer, Einstein.”
>BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down on the rear end of the pegasus, cutting its tail and some of its bottom off.
>”You can stop this, Blackie. Say you’ll be good. That’s all I wanna hear.”
>”pwease no mow huwty fwuffy fwend…”
>”Say. You. Will. Be. Good.”
>”bwackie smawty don wan lissen to hooman…”
>”pwease say be good! pwease no mow huwty!”
>”See that? Chocolate Thunder here wants you to be good, too. Now SAY IT.”
>”smawty… smawty no wanna…”
>BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down again, this time cutting off the pegasus’ wings with one stroke.
>”Last chance, Blackie. You going to be a good boy?”
>”bwackie smawty no wissen to hooman…”
>”Aw… sorry, Chocolate. Guess you lose.”
>BIG MAN brings the Big Cutter down one last time. the pegasus’ head is removed from its body
>the black unicorn is in shock.
>”other smawty fwen huwty…”
>”Yep. All your fault, you arrogant douche. Come here.”
>the unicorn yelps as BIG MAN grabs it by the fluff at the back of its neck. with three swift strokes he has quartered the unicorn.
>the knife cut so quickly that the pegasus barely had time to react. it still tries to spit out a few words as its body slides apart into pieces
>”smawty… didn mean… huwt… otha fwuffy… sowwy… fwuffy…”
>BIG MAN scoops the pieces into the trash
>”How’d that work out?”
>”Dammit… I was hoping it would adjust the unicorn’s attitude but it wouldn’t bend.”
>”Huh. Well, now we know.”


>BIG MAN wipes the blood from the table and removes one of the other fluffies from the box.
>your eyes light up - it’s another unicorn!
>this one seems very friendly. it skips and jumps around The Table
>”Hey! Now this is the attitude I like to see. What’s your name?”
>”fwuffy name is zaver! zaver is good fwuffy!”
>xavier is a purple unicorn with a white and purple mane and tail. maybe he’ll get put in your cage and you can have hugs at night! and play!
>BIG MAN shows xavier the cards. he seems happy with xavier’s answers.
>”Okay, Xavier. This is Martini. You two play nice now.”
>”hewoo! my namwe mawtini! you wann pway?”
>”hewoo mawtini! my namwe zaver! i wuv pway!”
>you and xavier give each other warm hugs and play with your ball.

>BIG MAN takes the other fluffy from the box. it’s a yellow earth pony. and she looks like she might have babies!
>”Ohhhhhhhh shit. I fucked up, Frank.”
>”What’s wrong?”
>”This one’s pregnant. Gonna pop soon.”
>”Great - we can sell them.”
>”What happened to good breeding? We can’t just plop some homeless feral’s foals down in front of a customer!”
>”Yeah, I guess you’re right. Take care of it.”
>”Fuck you, Frank! You take care of it!”
>”I do the sales, I do the paperwork, I find us clients. Your job is to keep them clean and mating and to get rid of the rabble.”
>”It’s not rabble, Frank! It’s a mother and babies!”
>”Then take her to the adoption agency.”
>BIG MAN looks at the Big Cutter on The Table, then back to the mare.
>”mistah pwease no huwty. fwuffy gonn be momma soon. pwease no huwty babehs.”
>”Shut… shut up.”
>BIG MAN picks up the Big Cutter.
>the mare’s eyes widen

>BIG MAN wipes the blade and puts it back in the drawer.
>”Come on, chubby. Gotta get you to the adoption agency.”
>BIG MAN puts the fluffy back in the box and leaves The Room.

>you’re so happy you have a new fluffy to play with! you and xavier will be best of friends!
>BEST DAY EVER!