weird woman

 There are many ways you can kill people. Strangulation, burning, stabbing.. Lots and lots of ways. I've never understood those classic serial killers. You know, the ones that kill the same way every time? Are you trying to leave a track? You'll get caught eventually. My way of killing causes confusion-- no, not just confusion. Desperation, anger, fatigue; it causes a lot of things that are good for me. I've killed around three hundred and sixty-three people in my five years of work. That's around one person every four days. I've yet to get a name from the media, but I can assure you that the law has finally gotten the hint that there is someone copying current serial killer's killing techniques. I can't wait to see the nickname I will receive once the media gets to me! I'm expecting something very stupid, such as 'Copy-Cat Killer,' or maybe something simpler like 'The Mimic.'
 Ah, anyway. Yes, copying. It's the best tactic, don't you think? They're minds'll be boggled when they see a serial killer in Montana has killed in California! Oh, and now one in Maine is killing in Texas? Mhm, mhm. It's great, really. I like to imagine the killer's faces when they see the headline 'Whatever-the-name-is strikes again!' when they haven't left the house in a week or two! Those poor saps.
 It's quite uncommon, you know, for a killer to be surprised by this. They're usually already a client of my company, meaning they've agreed to my practicing their techniques. Those that haven't agreed? Well, what are they going to do?! Go tell the cops that the CEO of a book publishing company has stolen their ways of murder? Haha! That'd be great! .. I'd quite like to see that, actually. I'll get right on that.