Oh my God ... seriously? You think your shit should smell like dinner or something? In America, we can't get over our dry wipe fetish. Yum yum. Let me squeeze out some gooey rotting half digested food ... and try scraping it off my ass using dry scratchy paper. Then I'll just smell like shit all day long!

Noooo noooo noooo. Wash it, man! Each time! But where? In the sink? Can you imagine? So, your ass is hanging over the sink, and sixteen other dudes are like ... whaaaaat? Butt! You'd have a clean, sweet smelling ass! And she'd love you for it!

So what? Why are American bathrooms these weird fetish rooms with no way to wash up? Give it up, man! This sort of thing has been solved years ago in less uptight cultures. French, Japanese, Chinese, all have "ass wash" toilets. You just soap the damn thing off after a juicy gooey sticky stinky slimy brown green orange experience and ahhhhhhh ... I'm clean and fresh again. No smelling like a fresh turd any more.

Yes! So how do we change the world? Become a poop hippie? An ass washing flower child? A bidet evangelist? An ass sniffing wierdo? A "porta-ass-wash" carrying preacher?

The possibilities are endless!