How to be like Dmex?

[2018-Apr-12 09:25:51] After the total meme fights that may or may not have actually happened, Dmex appears in a blur of starlight in Cruxati's center.

"Evening. Ezmara's Warchief is now present."

She... might not have even noticed Lotlhuitl, at first, because the wave that she tosses the Nagual is very, very delayed.
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 09:26:51] Yareth Ehécatl says, "Good Evening, Dmex."
[2018-Apr-12 09:30:56] Bubbles..

Anyway, Lotlhuitl totally had been about to leave the square. She'd just said farewell to Yareth, name dropping Dmex in the process.

Speak of the Dmex and she doth appear.

Dmex was here.

Lotlhuitl had gasped, eyes widening. Gosh. She would never get used to her Goddess' ability to just.. manipulate space like that.

The Nagual immediately went to the Ezmaran warchief. Her expression serious. Seriously longing, too. But that was something else entirely.

"Mighty Dmex, I.. I need to speak to you about something. Please."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 09:33:26] Dmex says, "...Right."
[2018-Apr-12 09:34:36] Dmex asks, "...Been a while since we've been inside, hasn't it?"
[2018-Apr-12 09:34:41] Lotlhuitl says, "... it has, Dmex."
[2018-Apr-12 09:35:49] As Dmex speaks - and promptly re-locks the door after herself - she zips herself around the house, collecting a few things and placing them out.

Food, bowls, maybe even a pillow thrown down on the floor in case the Nagual needs it. She doesn't have... much around to be courteous with, unfortunately.
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 09:38:56] Lotlhuitl blinked. Food. Bowls? Pillows on the floor? Did her Goddess think she was literally a pet? A cat? The thought made her feel somewhat uncomfortable, her tail flicking back and forth somewhat.

She DID possess the presence of mind to hold her tongue and NOT comment, however.

"Mighty Dmex, I.. I want to do more. I want to help you save Argatha." Her tone was earnest, heck, perhaps even a bit desperately so.
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 09:40:29] LOOC - Lotlhuitl: (Agartha**)
[2018-Apr-12 09:42:28] Dmex might... not have realized the connotations of what she'd left around for Lotlhuitl. Or maybe she didn't care, one of the two.

"You've done great work to help me save Agartha already Lotlhuitl. Just as everyone else who's praised my name has."

She muses to herself while beginning to pace about, each half-step landing further than it should.

"Did you have something else in mind...?"
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 09:47:36] "I.. I've been collecting the materials to build you a temple. A proper one."

Lotlhuitl had picked up an apple. It felt strange to be offered food by a spirit. Wasn't she supposed to offer things to Dmex?

"But I was thinking, after speaking to Sibri, that.. well. It would be a shame to only build one in Gehennan territories. Jianghuans are people too. Cowardly and weak people, but, perhaps they would not be so if they had a spirit to guide them, mould them. If they had you to give their lives meaning and direction."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 09:52:37] Dmex looked up from her nails when the subject of Jianghu - a temple within their borders - was breached, and the way that she just... stared forward, blankly, might signal that it's not something she considered.

"Interesting option. It's not something to do immediately, of course - I have different plans that come first."

At different plans, she sets a hand against the side of her head, probing to try and remember what exactly she was thinking of.

"Matter of priorities. Aetherius - Effigy - is my main one. The biggest step towards the golden dream, towards my world."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 09:57:00] Lotlhuitl tilted her head. Ears pricked forward. Her focus was directed wholly towards Dmex.

"What of Aetherius and Effigy, Great Spirit?" She inquired, a delicate hand raising to her chin. "I've made some contacts within the Demon City. Well, only one of any real connection or note: Choi Tae-Moon."

She bit her bottom lip. "Is.. this what Noa is assisting you with? He.. told me that you blessed him. I thought that was very charitable of you, Great Spirit."

Lotlhuitl's jealousy there was only thinly veiled.


(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:00:45] "Details must remain secret for now - I hope you understand - but..."

Dmex trails off, zipping her way around and tapping against the wall while she moves past it.

"I intend to create the impression of a defense pact, between Ezmara and Aetherius. Something that will dissuade the Coalition from attacking either."

At the mention of Noa being blessed by her, Dmex only tilts her head back around towards the Nagual and gives her a small nod.

She's... probably blind to the jealousy.
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:14:02] Lotlhuitl nodded. Gritted her teeth. Forced her expression to be neutral. Calm. Slowly exhaled. Slowly inhaled. Lotlhuitl had known it was true. She'd seen the blessing. It was the same magic that Dmex used -- magic Lotlhuitl truly believed was the stuff of the divine, but.. well, was anything but.

"I understand."

The Nagual's green eyes had taken on a strangely metallic look to them. Mirror-like, her pupils dilated to an extreme degree. The light in the room (the largest source of which may well have been that radiating from Dmex herself) reflected from her eyes.

Lotlhuitl felt she just wasn't good enough. A terrible bitter, poisoned sort of emotion rose up within her. Her soul, only recently cleansed by Hatsune, felt raw. Empty. And it seemed the Nagual was swiftly finding new things to fill it up with. Anger, and pain, and grief, and envy. Poison.

"It.. sounds clever, Great Spirit."

Lotlhuitl blinked. "But why would the Coalition attack either?"

Her head tilted. "Dmex, I am - I was going to join the Coalition. Noa is one of the five generals, Xoconan picked him. And Xoconan himself practically leads it. He answers only to Kayeliun."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:18:29] "Do you want the real answer, Lotlhuitl?"

Dmex turns abruptly on one heel, facing towards the Nagual. Her voice is underlined with some level of disdain, annoyance.

"Xoconan wants any excuse to hurt someone or kill something, and Zaruma's acted recklessly enough to provide him one."

She took a step towards Lotlhuitl - a proper step for once, without any illusions or light to hide it.

"He's only a 'Warchief' because Kayeliun knew he'd lash out if he wasn't given enough attention."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:26:17] Lotlhuitl swallowed.

Slowly.

She was right. Her beloved was warlike. Even on a micro level. But really, could she actually fault him for that? It had suited her well enough -- he'd maimed a lot of people who Lotlhuitl had hated.

"So what do you think is going to happen? That Xoconan intends on going to war with Gaiar?"

She blinked, slowly. "He has said nothing of this to me."

A look of deep shame rose to her cheeks. "Mostly because he has been focused on killing Xitlalli, and well.. Sibri, who I may or may not have kissed in front of him to make him angry."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:30:40] The question that the Nagual gave was answered with a sharp nod from Dmex, but the note that she'd followed it with took a bit more explanation.

"You must've seen how much he ignored you, during that scene in the square. He wouldn't tell you, because he doesn't trust you."

Dmex folded both of her hands together, resting them against her chest.

"He doesn't care about you."

She... didn't pay much attention to the talk of Sibri, or Xitlalli. Must've been stuff she knew already, or assumed.
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:32:35] LOOC - Dmex: (...brb im sorry)
[2018-Apr-12 10:32:41] LOOC - Lotlhuitl: (no worries)
[2018-Apr-12 10:36:52] LOOC - Dmex: (brbs are fake)
[2018-Apr-12 10:36:54] LOOC - Dmex: (nothing is real0
[2018-Apr-12 10:36:56] LOOC - Dmex: ))))
[2018-Apr-12 10:37:02] LOOC - Lotlhuitl: (there is no spoon)
[2018-Apr-12 10:37:05] LOOC - Lotlhuitl: (there is no Dmex)
[2018-Apr-12 10:38:08] The Nagual's eyes widened.

Lotlhuitl felt like Dmex had hit her. Sucker punch. Right to the gut. "Nn," she exhaled. Yes, she had noticed. In truth, it wasn't the first time he had, in his anger, pretty much ignored her.

But she adored him, even so.

"How.. how can I make him care, Dmex?" The woman asked, swiftly wincing at how pathetic she sounded. But it was done.

Despair.


(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:46:33] Even with Dmex's usual disconnect from the world around her, Lotlhuitl's current state was obvious enough that even she couldn't miss it.

And she may have jumped on the opportunity.

"If he doesn't care enough about you, when you're as kind and faithful as you are - you don't need him."

Gently, she set a hand against the Nagual's shoulder, a bit of her own desperation working into her voice.

"...You only need me."

She murmurs something else to herself, quiet enough to be nearly impossible to hear without focusing dead on it.

"Please need me."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 10:56:26] "I.. I need you, Dmex." Lotlhuitl whispered. "I.. I feel so lost. I'm.. I'm really in over my head. You're always there for me. You've never hurt me, or mislead me. Xoconan, he took me to Hatsune. Noa was there. It.. it wasn't good. It hurt."

Another shudder.

"Xitlalli, she.. she did something to me. Xoconan and Hatsune say she affected my mind. I.. I don't remember. She's my best friend, and I can't - I.. I know I asked her to help me. And I know she gave me some runes. And I know she told me that Xoconan didn't love me any more, that I should use him."

"I'm just so confused, Dmex. Noa and Xoconan, they're telling me different things. Everyone is. I feel so weak, so vulnerable."

Dmex's hand at her shoulder, it felt like electricity. Because of the sin runes Xitlalli had etched into her skin, Lotlhuitl was vastly more comfortable with touch and being touched than she had been before. But.. still. This was Dmex. A Spirit. No, not just a spirit. Her Spirit. Her Patron. Her Goddess.

The Nagual shivered, her breath catching in her throat. Her eyes wide.

"But.. I'm.. I've not been kind or faithful towards Xoconan. I.. I thought he didn't love me any more. He wouldn't help me. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to make him feel jealous."

She shuddered.

"And when I succeeded, I was pleased. It felt.. good. Made me feel powerful."

Another shudder.

"And a bunch of things happened. Things which I've.. if I tell anyone, bad things are going to happen."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:01:49] Dmex knew that Lotlhuitl was just venting to herself, but she listened intently nonetheless. Partway through, when the conversation had drifted away from her - and her name hadn't been mentioned - her hand gripped the Nagual's shoulder a bit more tightly.

"This isn't something you should worry too much about. Please, just... think about me."

Half a step closer, and her stance visibly wobbled the slightest bit, as if she might fall over without something to hold onto.

"I've always been here for you, and I'll always be here for you. Better than anyone else. Xoconan will be handled, eventually."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:10:55] "Dmex, I--"

Lotlhuitl nodded. Her eyes wide.

"Thank you, Great Spirit."

Her tone sounded.. well. Lotlhuitl was obviously distressed. Conflicted. Xoconan was the father of her children. And he didn't care about her. She wanted to hurt him.

"I just.. I feel so useless, Dmex."

Everyone around her had agency. They did things. What did she do? Lotlhuitl just got beaten up. Beaten down. Talked down to. It wasn't fair.

"I just wish I was as useful as Noa is to you."

It wasn't FAIR.

"I.. I wish I was more like you, Great Spirit."

Xoconan would be handled, Dmex said.

"Handled?" Lotl repeated, her voice quiet. Soft. Her ears flicked down slightly.

Even in this, other people had to come in and clean up what should have been her mess to clean up.

"This.. surely I should have some part in that. He is my husband. We.. I.. I thought you approved of our union."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:15:07] "I approved when he was remotely sane."

Dmex mumbled that point out first, seeming to work backwards from there and piece together responses for the rest.

She let out a short breath, vapors of gold slipping into the air with it.

"...I wish everyone was more like me. I wish everyone was me."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:16:13]
{LOAD GAME}

[2018-Apr-12 11:18:27] Lotlhuitl continued to regard Dmex with the same wide eyed stare. She was quiet for a moment, before asking, hesitantly,

"How.. how can I be more like you, Great Spirit?"

It was perhaps a foolish, even blasphemous question. Lotlhuitl almost regretted asking it. But.. she had asked it, and so let the question stand. Blinking, silent once more as she waited for an answer.
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:24:18] That question gave her pause. It might not be something she considers often - but either way, she didn't seem to take it as blasphemy.

"...Strive to be analytical in all things. Always examine the situation, deeper than the surface presents it."

Finally, she drew her hand back, slipping it into her coat. She felt needed enough, didn't feel that she had to keep the girl in place.

"Be ruthless. Require as few connections as possible. Be..."

She trailed off, searching for a word to summarize it - how she saw herself.

"Be free."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:30:52] Lotlhuitl swallowed.

"Great Spirit," she began, her voice sounding hoarse and bordering on hysteria, "Everything you've said, I can't help feeling like I am the antithesis of that."

She shuddered.

"Is that why Noa is your favourite, now?"
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:36:01] "Noa isn't... all that similar to me, exactly. He was blessed by being in the right place at the right time."

Dmex may have just... entirely dodged around the actual question that she was given. As well as Lotlhuitl's concern.

"I'm not yet sure how I did it, in his case. But if I ever learn, I'd gladly bestow the same upon you."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:43:51] Lotlhuitl didn't really find a lot of comfort in Dmex's words. That wasn't to say that she found no comfort. But it wasn't what she wanted to hear.

Noa had been blessed by Dmex. Or.. by fate itself, perhaps. And Lotlhuitl? Again, despite all her struggling, despite all her effort, she got nothing.

As kind, as generous as Dmex obviously was, Lotlhuitl found herself coming to the conclusion that Noa was Dmex's favourite.

"I.. understand, Great Spirit." Lotlhuitl breathed, inclining her head. "Thank-you."

Did Dmex pity her? Was this what this was?

Lotlhuitl's vivid green gaze took on a distinctly metallic quality as she stared at Dmex. The Great Spirit. Her Great Spirit, but now also Noa's.

"I.. I want to be better than Noa." Lotlhuitl breathed. "I want you to like me more than him. I.. I want him to envy me."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:48:22] Her need for an ego-boost, some reinforcement, must've been answered by now - because Dmex snaps to a response immediately.

"I want you to show me that you deserve it."

Deep breaths. Calm yourself. Don't crack into something openly bitter or cynical.

"...Temples. Spread my name. Find new people to praise me."
(Dmex)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:52:33] "I.. I will, Great Spirit." Lotlhuitl agreed, her ears pricked forward, her expression desperate, yearning. "I.. I won't stop until every voice in Agartha is raised and speaking your name in praise."

A bold, big promise. Earnestly said.

"Everyone will know of your deeds. Everyone will know to regard the Great Spirit of Eqarba, Dmex, with fear and awe."
(Lotlhuitl)
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[2018-Apr-12 11:53:49] Dmex says, "...Good."
[2018-Apr-12 11:53:52] Dmex says, "I like awe."
[2018-Apr-12 11:55:22] Dmex says, "Thank you, Lotlhuitl."
[2018-Apr-12 11:55:34] Lotlhuitl says, ".. it will be done."
[2018-Apr-12 11:55:45] Dmex says, "I have faith in you, as odd as that might sound."
[2018-Apr-12 11:55:54] Lotlhuitl asks, "R-really?"
[2018-Apr-12 11:56:25] Dmex says, "Mhm."
[2018-Apr-12 11:56:32] Lotlhuitl says, "Thank-you, Dmex. "
[2018-Apr-12 11:56:37] Lotlhuitl says, "That.. that means a lot to me."
[2018-Apr-12 11:57:00] Lotlhuitl says, "If you will excuse me, I.. I will go and start on my task."
[2018-Apr-12 11:57:09] Dmex says, "Good."
[2018-Apr-12 11:57:12] Lotlhuitl says, "... thank you for everything you do for me, Dmex. "
[2018-Apr-12 11:57:14] Dmex says, "I'll be outside too, myself."
[2018-Apr-12 11:57:18] Lotlhuitl says, "Very well."
[2018-Apr-12 11:57:24] Lotlhuitl says, "Time's Grace, Great Spirit."
[2018-Apr-12 11:57:58] Dmex says, "Time's grace."