Princess Pigeon - 03/06/2018
Hey, how are you holding up right now?
Noah - 03/06/2018
I'm trying to help Rissa hold on to her life..
She's majorly suicidal
Princess Pigeon - 03/06/2018
I know
Noah - 03/06/2018
I know you'll stay her friend. So please help her
Probably as soon as this call ends she'll ban and block me
Princess Pigeon - 03/06/2018
I will try.
March 9, 2018
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
What is going on with you?
Noah - 03/09/2018
I am being torn apart. I swear to God I love her to death half the time, but she's just so coarse for all the rest...
I miss her, she approached me to come back into my life. I literally spent all day thinking we could be friends, and immediately in the conversation where I say I'll leave if she is still like that to me, she starts pulling the same stuff...
I just, I need to block her. I can't do it.
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
Yeah. You need to separate from her. She needs to separate from you. Its not healthy for either of you.
Noah - 03/09/2018
Yeah... I think that last conversation was what I needed to really convince me her and I could never be friends.
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
I think it's best for both of you. All that comes  out of it, seems to be pain.
Noah - 03/09/2018
Yeppppp
Ah well, sorry to give you more shit to deal with
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
Nah
I'm going to be honest, I was Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis close to flipping out on you.
I'm glad I was able to control it though
I know you aren't in the best of places either, and the last thing I want to do its make it worse
Noah - 03/09/2018
She was telling me how all of my friends think I'm shit now. So I figured that was coming to be honest xD
I left her because we were incompatible, not because I wasn't in love with her.
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
Yeah, no I don't have an issue with you leaving her. It was more the coming back, then leaving again and again type of deal.
It's whatever though
Let's move one
Noah - 03/09/2018
Yeah....
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
No sense in dragging this out ^-^
Noah - 03/09/2018
Agreed xD
I'm gonna go make Ramen, I'll catch you later
Just wanted to wrap that up since you messaged me while I was at work
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
Okay. I'll be here should you ever need me
Noah - 03/09/2018
If you wanna talk or hang out, you know where to find me
Princess Pigeon - 03/09/2018
Ditto.~
March 11, 2018
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Hey. How are you?
Noah - 03/11/2018
I'm like two different people in the same body.
Half of me is grieving over every lost romance of the past five years.
The other half is moving on, and looking forward to whatever's next.
It really dawned on me yesterday.
I'm an awful person.
So yeah, that's how I am.
Yourself?
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
I'm tired, and my body hurts.
If it makes you feel better
I dont think you're 100% awful. You have faults sure, but who doesn't. It's good to recognize them, and start repairing them.
Noah - 03/11/2018
I'm bad.
And I know I can't change.
Innately I'm flawed.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
I don't think you are. Personally.
Noah - 03/11/2018
You don't know me like they did, or like I do.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Regardless. I have heard plenty. But I'm not going to pass judgments upon you.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
I believe anyone and anything can be fixed.
I was.
Noah - 03/11/2018
You don't seem to judge anyone xD
Something in me says that someday I'll meet the one for me and this will all stop.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
It has no benefit.
Noah - 03/11/2018
But I know I'm never deleting the logs from Georgina.
I'm never throwing out the letters from Kimmy, or Victoria's shell.
It's never going to be any different.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
You will eventually. For now, maybe not. It is difficult to see the future through the thick fog of today. But that does not mean tomorrow does not exsist. Things can change. One truly does not know.
Noah - 03/11/2018
Even as we talk, I'm listening to Rissa's favourite album. That she hates now because I took it from her.
Don't you think if things were going to change, they would've already?
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Nope
They take time. They take many errors and faults.
It might not come for years.
Just because something Has not happened, does not mean it will never occur.
Noah - 03/11/2018
I mean, literally you're right.
We'll see how things go. Maybe one day it will all change...
You know, I knew this was going to happen?
When Georgina left me, I knew I would get like this.
Leaving a path of shattered people in my wake xD
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
They will repair. As will you.
Noah - 03/11/2018
It feels like you think you're talking to someone other than me xD
As if I'm some destroyed human being.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Nah, just patch the things you want to change.
I apologize if it's odd.
Noah - 03/11/2018
I don't want to change anything...
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Well, scratch that then.
Noah - 03/11/2018
That's the thing.
Victoria really opened my eyes last night
I hurt myself and other people for whatever reason.
And I just keep doing it.
And I don't want to change either... I like the way I am... I don't regret it...
It's, bad...
I'm a bad person
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Well, then find someone who either likes being hurt, or can't be hurt.
That's how things work. Find compatibility.
Noah - 03/11/2018
Yeah, I know.
I wrote a paper on it xD
Either compatibility of interests or of goals.
I hate it
I know how to help myself. I know how to stop the cycle(edited)
But I don't want to...
I'm happy to just wait for the next heartbreak to say hello.
I knew it with Rissa, I literally told my sisters when I met her, I met the next girl who was going to ruin my life.
The first day...
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Hm. Well, perhaps it will change with time. Can't be sure.
Noah - 03/11/2018
Maybe...
When I give up love forever xD
Maybe some person will come along who changes me.
Point is, at least I'm owning the person I am now.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Yes. I believe that's a good start.
Noah - 03/11/2018
Anyway, you weren't feeling well and were tired right?
Was there any reason you came to check up on me? xD
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
I saw you were online. I care about you, and wanted to see how you were. ^-^
Noah - 03/11/2018
Fair enough xD
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Plus, I enjoy talks like this. Conversations that mean something.
Noah - 03/11/2018
Yeah, I'm the same way
I hate small talk
What's the point of talking if not to discuss things. Learn more about others and yourself, y'know?
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
I don't mind small talk with people I don't know. But I like deeper talks, that have a purpose, very much.
Noah - 03/11/2018
I started hanging out more with the people in the bomb server. I realize one of my closest friends there, he stopped messaging me in mid February. Same thing with one of my other friends.
Suddenly, they're welcoming me back, as if they've been waiting for me to get my life back xD
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Perhaps they were. XD
Noah - 03/11/2018
I'd believe it.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
It's nice to be free.
Noah - 03/11/2018
As much as I love it.
I hate it.
I hate not having someone there constantly, a second voice in my head that wasn't my own...
Maybe I'm just more sentimental now because I just finished listening to her and my song.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
That is very reasonable. I understand, though I'm much better on my own now, than I used to be.
Noah - 03/11/2018
I'm so... conflicted.
Two different people in me.
I need to start my laundry and stuff
You prolly ought to get some rest if you're tired.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Im not even home yet xD
Noah - 03/11/2018
Where are you?!
Also sorry, my mother and Harmony had sort of pressured me into giving the amount I was saving a month to my mother, and I was just talking her back into letting me actually save up for a car / to move out again.
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
It's okay. ^-^
I was at work, and bussing home
Noah - 03/11/2018
Ahhh
I assume by the past tense you're home now?
Princess Pigeon - 03/11/2018
Yep! Just got in a little while ago. ^-^